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Death bed thoughts..

I wonder how that play ended..

by Anonymousreply 291October 5, 2024 8:17 PM

Diana should’ve aborted the ginger.

by Anonymousreply 1September 18, 2024 6:36 AM

..Covfefe..

by Anonymousreply 2September 18, 2024 3:44 PM

I wish this crazy, coked out bitch would shut the fuck up and let me sleep. I have to talk to a divorce attorney first thing in the morning.

by Anonymousreply 3September 18, 2024 3:59 PM

I think a sailor's knot will do.

by Anonymousreply 4September 18, 2024 5:47 PM

Should have used that seatbelt …

by Anonymousreply 5September 18, 2024 6:52 PM

Who the fuck is paging me n…

by Anonymousreply 6September 18, 2024 6:53 PM

Well, this is embarrassing.

by Anonymousreply 7September 18, 2024 6:58 PM

Bobby? What are you doing here...?

by Anonymousreply 8September 18, 2024 7:15 PM

I should have given her half of everything I earned, plus the house and kids.

by Anonymousreply 9September 18, 2024 8:15 PM

This doctor does magic with propf - -

by Anonymousreply 10September 18, 2024 8:21 PM

I should never have met up with my crazy ex.

by Anonymousreply 11September 18, 2024 8:43 PM

Corn? When did I have corn?

by Anonymousreply 12September 18, 2024 8:53 PM

Which way is up?

by Anonymousreply 13September 18, 2024 8:53 PM

I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT

by Anonymousreply 14September 18, 2024 8:54 PM

There are so many trees on this mountain...

by Anonymousreply 15September 18, 2024 9:10 PM

She had it coming.

by Anonymousreply 16September 18, 2024 9:26 PM

I should’ve left them in a basket on Bette’s doorstep.

by Anonymousreply 17September 18, 2024 10:23 PM

Tomorrow I'll start my diet.

by Anonymousreply 18September 18, 2024 11:28 PM

I have sufficient.

by Anonymousreply 19September 18, 2024 11:29 PM

Maybe I shouldn't have gone to that Trump rally

by Anonymousreply 20September 18, 2024 11:30 PM

Why couldn't I have hooked up with a skinny girl from steerage?

by Anonymousreply 21September 18, 2024 11:31 PM

"Two bitches I'll never have to see again, Patty Duke and Lucille Ball!"

by Anonymousreply 22September 18, 2024 11:59 PM

I shouldn't have listened to Donald Trump

by Anonymousreply 23September 19, 2024 12:03 AM

I think I’ve got the Gobloots.

by Anonymousreply 24September 19, 2024 12:18 AM

I had to kill her. It was her or me...

by Anonymousreply 25September 19, 2024 12:19 AM

There. Are you happy now?

by Anonymousreply 26September 19, 2024 12:22 AM

Ahh, nothing is as relaxing as a bath.

by Anonymousreply 27September 19, 2024 12:27 AM

Just like Mom always said, there's nothing as relaxing as a bath.

by Anonymousreply 28September 19, 2024 12:27 AM

Two dots, OP?

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 29September 19, 2024 12:29 AM

That Big One feels great ….soooo relaxing…..sooooo…..blllubb

by Anonymousreply 30September 19, 2024 12:36 AM

These disco lights really set the mood - they almost make you forget you're in a lousy Days Inn in Glendale!

by Anonymousreply 31September 19, 2024 12:41 AM

I should have had two abortions

by Anonymousreply 32September 19, 2024 1:06 AM

I should have used EZ-Off

by Anonymousreply 33September 19, 2024 1:09 AM

Nay! Nay!

by Anonymousreply 34September 19, 2024 1:09 AM

Maybe I should take some stool softeners and Ex-Lax.

by Anonymousreply 35September 19, 2024 1:09 AM

But cha Ah, B.D. Ya AH a bitch!

by Anonymousreply 36September 19, 2024 1:10 AM

John is such an idiot. Failed the bar exam twice, his boring magazine George is going under, and now he's confused about where he is.

by Anonymousreply 37September 19, 2024 1:15 AM

LOOK WHAT I CAN FUCKIN' D—

by Anonymousreply 38September 19, 2024 1:33 AM

And you may ask yourself, How did I get here....?

by Anonymousreply 39September 19, 2024 1:36 AM

All this Italian food I've been eating is giving me severe heartburn. Next time I'll just order a salad.

by Anonymousreply 40September 19, 2024 1:47 AM

Heartbeat,

Heartbeat,

Why do you fail me now?

by Anonymousreply 41September 19, 2024 1:49 AM

What the fuck is this pilot doing? Does this asshole even know how to fly a helicopter?

by Anonymousreply 42September 19, 2024 2:17 AM

In retrospect, I should have eaten ALL the pineapple.

by Anonymousreply 43September 19, 2024 2:17 AM

Don’t bother, they’re here.

by Anonymousreply 44September 19, 2024 2:42 AM

Chris, I'm home from my MLM conference! Where's the kids?

by Anonymousreply 45September 19, 2024 2:48 AM

One more big push.

by Anonymousreply 46September 19, 2024 2:51 AM

"My shoes! My hair! My two scoops!"

Inmate and one term, twice-impeached former POTUS*

by Anonymousreply 47September 19, 2024 3:05 AM

Maybe I shouldn't have gone to that Trump rally

by Anonymousreply 48September 19, 2024 3:16 AM

I should really rethink my friendship with Aaron Hernandez

by Anonymousreply 49September 19, 2024 3:17 AM

Jesus Fucking Christ, I just gave that asshole an autograph, and now they're back?

by Anonymousreply 50September 19, 2024 3:37 AM

I got away with everything.

by Anonymousreply 51September 19, 2024 3:52 AM

What does this button do?

by Anonymousreply 52September 19, 2024 4:04 AM

[………]

by Anonymousreply 53September 19, 2024 4:07 AM

I can't believe all the treasures I'm finding on the bottom of this marina!

by Anonymousreply 54September 19, 2024 4:12 AM

Crikey, look at the size of that stingray! I know, I'll sneak up on 'er and give 'er the surprise of 'er life!

by Anonymousreply 55September 19, 2024 4:15 AM

They’ll never take me alive!

by Anonymousreply 56September 19, 2024 4:23 AM

I'd rather die than stay married to this moron.

by Anonymousreply 57September 19, 2024 4:23 AM

Man, it’s getting hot in this place. Hitler?! What are you doing here?

by Anonymousreply 58September 19, 2024 4:29 AM

Mommy, you said if I came all the way down here you'd give me another pineapple slice;.

by Anonymousreply 59September 19, 2024 4:47 AM

Fuck this feels like a heart attack, I can't die like this, I'm a Jew eating ham in Harry Nilsson's flat. Alan will plotz and tell the whole world it killed me. 30 percent and slander into the next life. Aye yi yi

by Anonymousreply 60September 19, 2024 4:52 AM

Making out with Chris Walken was so not worth this.

by Anonymousreply 61September 19, 2024 4:53 AM

I can't believe I got involved with that insecure, legless freak.

by Anonymousreply 62September 19, 2024 4:57 AM

One more swallow and then that's it...

by Anonymousreply 63September 19, 2024 5:02 AM

EHR-AH, TOUCHDOWN, MUTHERFU --

by Anonymousreply 64September 19, 2024 5:04 AM

AFLAC!!!

by Anonymousreply 65September 19, 2024 5:31 AM

I hate zat kveen!

by Anonymousreply 66September 19, 2024 6:11 AM

Who’s paging me?

by Anonymousreply 67September 19, 2024 6:23 AM

Why do the stairs smell like cooking oil?

by Anonymousreply 68September 19, 2024 6:36 AM

I can't believe that fat cunt is the president of my fan club.

by Anonymousreply 69September 19, 2024 6:37 AM

Come to think of, Rosebud was a awfully stupid name for a sled.

by Anonymousreply 70September 19, 2024 12:07 PM

Who let all these bats in here...??

by Anonymousreply 71September 19, 2024 12:07 PM

This is just like being in a Fast and Furious movie! Cool!

by Anonymousreply 72September 19, 2024 12:12 PM

I'm too young to die!

by Anonymousreply 73September 19, 2024 12:13 PM

I should have bought a Honda.

by Anonymousreply 74September 19, 2024 5:02 PM

It's taking forever.

by Anonymousreply 75September 19, 2024 5:04 PM

I should stay away from hustlers

by Anonymousreply 76September 19, 2024 5:07 PM

This is a surprise. Apparently, we have Fatty Arbuckle on the phone.

by Anonymousreply 77September 19, 2024 5:23 PM

Tallulah Bankhead‘s last words:

requesting “codeine…bourbon”

by Anonymousreply 78September 19, 2024 5:52 PM

I need this parade like I need a hole in the head.

by Anonymousreply 79September 19, 2024 5:54 PM

No more Dominican teenage boys for me!

by Anonymousreply 80September 19, 2024 6:00 PM

At age 79, this hot twink at Cibolo Creek Ranch is going to give me a heart attack; but it’s worth it.

by Anonymousreply 81September 19, 2024 6:06 PM

I believe I can fly ...

by Anonymousreply 82September 19, 2024 6:11 PM

That bitch Lindsey betrayed me and flipped to Donald Trump when invited to play golf.

by Anonymousreply 83September 19, 2024 6:13 PM

Which end is up?

by Anonymousreply 84September 19, 2024 6:14 PM

STAUNCH!

by Anonymousreply 85September 19, 2024 6:15 PM

Am I gonna let the elevator bring me down? oh shit this ain't Percocet...

by Anonymousreply 86September 19, 2024 6:17 PM

I wonder if my dick will end up featured in the Smithsonian?

by Anonymousreply 87September 19, 2024 6:19 PM

Timing really is everything.

by Anonymousreply 88September 19, 2024 6:23 PM

Rumors will fly guessing who I was with.

by Anonymousreply 89September 19, 2024 6:26 PM

Abraham, call 988 if you have suicidal ideas. It gets better.

by Anonymousreply 90September 19, 2024 6:29 PM

I am being murdered to shut me up. But it will be squelched by the government.

by Anonymousreply 91September 19, 2024 6:31 PM

I totally did it.

by Anonymousreply 92September 19, 2024 7:09 PM

Do NOT let Lindsey Graham describe himself as The Widow McCain

by Anonymousreply 93September 19, 2024 7:43 PM

Mama Cass died here? Wow!

by Anonymousreply 94September 19, 2024 7:49 PM

They were supposed to shoot Suge, not me!

by Anonymousreply 95September 19, 2024 7:50 PM

Ron DeSantis campaigns for him. LOL.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 96September 19, 2024 7:52 PM

I deserved a book deal.

by Anonymousreply 97September 19, 2024 7:53 PM

I guess the wealth didn't trickle down after all. Oops!

by Anonymousreply 98September 19, 2024 7:56 PM

I never trusted those fat ass Kennedys.

by Anonymousreply 99September 19, 2024 8:00 PM

Victoria Principal is a CUNT!

by Anonymousreply 100September 19, 2024 8:05 PM

Either that wallpaper goes or I do.

by Anonymousreply 101September 19, 2024 8:16 PM

Mnlmnlmnmm

by Anonymousreply 102September 19, 2024 8:21 PM

"it's perfectly safe!" The CEO of Oceangate

by Anonymousreply 103September 19, 2024 8:22 PM

We heard you the first time, r66.

by Anonymousreply 104September 19, 2024 8:24 PM

This liver cancer is unbearable!

by Anonymousreply 105September 19, 2024 9:05 PM

Is it too late for delivery?

by Anonymousreply 106September 19, 2024 9:09 PM

Kittens.

by Anonymousreply 107September 19, 2024 9:13 PM

Linda’s going to make this all about her, isn’t she?

by Anonymousreply 108September 19, 2024 9:33 PM

Wait! I can’t die like this! Linked forever with a fucking psychopath!

I’m such a fool.

by Anonymousreply 109September 19, 2024 9:48 PM

I'll miss the good old days, grabbing pussy with Donald Trump

by Anonymousreply 110September 19, 2024 10:13 PM

Ha! That asshole Tricky Dick would never pull this kind of crowd in Dallas!

by Anonymousreply 111September 19, 2024 10:19 PM

I want to meet the hard-working immigrant kitchen staff on the way out...

by Anonymousreply 112September 19, 2024 10:22 PM

I’m so bored.

by Anonymousreply 113September 19, 2024 10:30 PM

I love West Hollywood. It's such a safe neighborhood.

by Anonymousreply 114September 19, 2024 10:32 PM

When I paid you boys to pound me, this was NOT what I had in mind!

by Anonymousreply 115September 19, 2024 10:33 PM

I've lost so much weight on the watermelon diet!

by Anonymousreply 116September 19, 2024 10:34 PM

Ahhh, nothing beats smoking in bed.

by Anonymousreply 117September 19, 2024 10:34 PM

That’s a big truck.

by Anonymousreply 118September 19, 2024 10:46 PM

Does this ladder lead to a hot tub?

by Anonymousreply 119September 19, 2024 11:28 PM

I believe I can fly...

by Anonymousreply 120September 19, 2024 11:32 PM

R117. Joan Davis didn't die from a ciggy in bed...her daughter did. Fail for you for not properly knowing D-list 1950's comediannes causes of death!

by Anonymousreply 121September 19, 2024 11:42 PM

R117 was thinking of Jack Cassidy R121 but his chubby fingers typed Joan Davis.

by Anonymousreply 122September 19, 2024 11:45 PM

R122. I had to take Jack Cassidy's chubby fingers. That way he didn't have to look at me...

by Anonymousreply 123September 19, 2024 11:50 PM

Of all the places to spend my last moments on earth, why does it have to be on this filthy sidewalk in front of this sleazy club?

by Anonymousreply 124September 19, 2024 11:53 PM

At least I won’t have to work with Marilyn Monroe again.

by Anonymousreply 125September 19, 2024 11:57 PM

Is that a plane?

by Anonymousreply 126September 20, 2024 12:06 AM

Oh Shit!

by Anonymousreply 127September 20, 2024 12:26 AM

You are telling me those things are ladybugs? They don’t look like no damn ladybugs.

by Anonymousreply 128September 20, 2024 12:33 AM

I’m just going to take a handful more of Nembutal pills so I can get a good night’s sleep.

by Anonymousreply 129September 20, 2024 12:48 AM

Courtney Love is a skanky, unbearable CUNT!

by Anonymousreply 130September 20, 2024 12:48 AM

I love West Hollywood. It's such a safe neighborhood. —Sal Mineo

Not funny or ironic or in the spirit of the thread. He died in a brutal random crime and was mocked and ridiculed for it because he was gay.

by Anonymousreply 131September 20, 2024 12:56 AM

Awesome light show!

by Anonymousreply 132September 20, 2024 1:13 AM

Jesus, take the wheel!

by Anonymousreply 133September 20, 2024 1:40 AM

Gwampa, don’t stick me out da win —

doooooooooooow

by Anonymousreply 134September 20, 2024 1:51 AM

Mommy, I can’t see the African dogs. Can you hold me up?

by Anonymousreply 135September 20, 2024 2:08 AM

Oh, shit, here comes a dingo!

by Anonymousreply 136September 20, 2024 2:17 AM

I should have worn a life jacket...

by Anonymousreply 137September 20, 2024 3:36 AM

I’m going to count to three. There will not be a four.

by Anonymousreply 138September 20, 2024 6:36 AM

Nig*uh -- I said fetch me some COLD water!!

by Anonymousreply 139September 20, 2024 6:39 AM

I hate to finally admit it, but — objectively speaking — Dick York was the better Darren.

by Anonymousreply 140September 20, 2024 6:45 AM

They didn't taste as good as 5 Guys

by Anonymousreply 141September 20, 2024 6:52 AM

I have a fabulous life without Donald, hope I never see a golf course again.

by Anonymousreply 142September 20, 2024 7:03 AM

Dont eat me Stanley. I left you an open bag of dog food.

by Anonymousreply 143September 20, 2024 7:05 AM

This is the only way I can get to reminisce with Soupy Sales.

by Anonymousreply 144September 20, 2024 9:41 AM

R122 - Jack Cassidy was smoking on the living room sofa and died as a burnt husk near the front door. You know what you can do with your chubby fingers... a habit for you, I'm sure.

by Anonymousreply 145September 20, 2024 11:46 AM

Hillary! What are you doing in the park so later?

by Anonymousreply 146September 20, 2024 11:47 AM

You people are WICKED! Lol.

by Anonymousreply 147September 20, 2024 12:37 PM

That guy turning left sees us.....doesn't he?

by Anonymousreply 148September 20, 2024 1:42 PM

I hope the circumstances of my suicide are accurately reported.

by Anonymousreply 149September 20, 2024 4:46 PM

"This is the only way I know to be free again... Please don't follow me."

Suicide note

by Anonymousreply 150September 20, 2024 5:08 PM

Death? You’re FIRED.

by Anonymousreply 151September 20, 2024 5:10 PM

This will show Rex Harrison I mean business!

by Anonymousreply 152September 20, 2024 5:22 PM

I think I'll just sit here for awhile.

by Anonymousreply 153September 20, 2024 6:47 PM

Hear hear! What r152 said!

by Anonymousreply 154September 20, 2024 7:02 PM

Little Boys, little boys. Everywhere I turn, I can see them. Little boys, little boys. Night and day, I eat, sleep, and breathe them.

by Anonymousreply 155September 20, 2024 7:25 PM

^^ 😂

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 156September 20, 2024 7:58 PM

R131 - MARY! You are a hall monitor extraordinaire.

by Anonymousreply 157September 20, 2024 9:36 PM

How warm will Hell be?

by Anonymousreply 158September 20, 2024 9:39 PM

Fucking Dumbledore!

by Anonymousreply 159September 20, 2024 10:23 PM

You won't have Nixon to kick around any more.

by Anonymousreply 160September 20, 2024 10:26 PM

That was one helluva party.

by Anonymousreply 161September 20, 2024 11:23 PM

Jell-O for dinner. Pretty dog. My leg fell off.

by Anonymousreply 162September 20, 2024 11:45 PM

I'm not feeling great...

by Anonymousreply 163September 20, 2024 11:49 PM

Looks like God got me for that.

by Anonymousreply 164September 20, 2024 11:50 PM

Of all the nights for me not to have Jay do my hair ...

by Anonymousreply 165September 21, 2024 12:10 AM

The fucking little shit got into MY cage!

by Anonymousreply 166September 21, 2024 12:18 AM

One more little nip and tuck can't hurt ....

by Anonymousreply 167September 21, 2024 12:20 AM

I should have gone to AA

by Anonymousreply 168September 21, 2024 12:21 AM

I should have had a few more cheeseburgers

by Anonymousreply 169September 21, 2024 12:25 AM

Fuck you, Dad!

by Anonymousreply 170September 21, 2024 12:28 AM

An eight ball, you say? Now that sounds like something I'd like to experience.

by Anonymousreply 171September 21, 2024 12:35 AM

There's no better feeling that riding an open country rode on my bike -- God I feel so alive!

by Anonymousreply 172September 21, 2024 12:36 AM

Hey grandma, pull the purse out of your twat and hit the gas already. Those little bastards are gaining on us!

by Anonymousreply 173September 21, 2024 12:38 AM

My Heart Won’t Go On

by Anonymousreply 174September 21, 2024 12:38 AM

I've had sufficient ... of this earthly experience.

by Anonymousreply 175September 21, 2024 12:40 AM

Christina! Bring me the coffin!

by Anonymousreply 176September 21, 2024 12:41 AM

On reflection, I should have seen a doctor sooner. No one has a single headache lasting for six months.

by Anonymousreply 177September 21, 2024 12:45 AM

Oh look, a shooting star. Pretty!

by Anonymousreply 178September 21, 2024 12:47 AM

This horse is a bit too heavy.

by Anonymousreply 179September 21, 2024 12:47 AM

Well, this is my last trip in a Winnebago.

by Anonymousreply 180September 21, 2024 12:55 AM

That little Filipino sure gives good head!

by Anonymousreply 181September 21, 2024 1:03 AM

I'm dumping you, you neurotic, wrinkled, old bag!

by Anonymousreply 182September 21, 2024 1:13 AM

Betty!!!! What the hell?!!!

by Anonymousreply 183September 21, 2024 1:19 AM

Aaaaaaaah! *splat*

by Anonymousreply 184September 21, 2024 1:22 AM

“My baby is stillborn, I’m so distraught!”

by Anonymousreply 185September 21, 2024 2:03 AM

I was already dead on the inside, so this is working out well for me

by Anonymousreply 186September 21, 2024 2:10 AM

I shouldn't have jerked off with John.

by Anonymousreply 187September 21, 2024 5:16 AM

I’m finished, but now I’m famous. I want get to enjoy it.

by Anonymousreply 188September 21, 2024 8:19 AM

Has anybody seen my gun?

by Anonymousreply 189September 21, 2024 2:10 PM

I’m really digging the polyrhythm of these hospital machines.

by Anonymousreply 190September 21, 2024 6:10 PM

They better not let that orange fucker come to my funeral.

by Anonymousreply 191September 21, 2024 8:40 PM

My enemies better not DARE show up at my funeral!

by Anonymousreply 192September 22, 2024 2:01 AM

Melania better not show her tits at my funeral

by Anonymousreply 193September 22, 2024 2:16 AM

Bobby better not stash my corpse in his deep freezer!

by Anonymousreply 194September 22, 2024 4:07 AM

Donald better not bury me on one of his shitty golf courses!

by Anonymousreply 195September 22, 2024 5:40 AM

r171 you mean SPEEDball

by Anonymousreply 196September 22, 2024 7:43 AM

Mrs. Richard Carlson *eyeroll*

by Anonymousreply 197September 22, 2024 10:25 AM

R196 - I didn't say what Belushi was going to do with that eight ball...

by Anonymousreply 198September 22, 2024 2:00 PM

R148, I once saw an interview with Alec Guinness where he told the interviewer that when James Dean brought his new car over to show him, Alec said, "Do not drive this car. I'm not usually psychic but I have a really bad feeling coming from it."

The interviewer responded that at the time of the crash Dean was probably thinking, "That was a bloody funny thing Alec Guinness said to me."

by Anonymousreply 199September 22, 2024 2:13 PM

"The next sound you hear will be Clark Gable opening his refrigerator."

by Anonymousreply 200September 22, 2024 3:19 PM

Speed it up a little!

by Anonymousreply 201September 22, 2024 5:41 PM

I DID make it to 100!

by Anonymousreply 202September 22, 2024 5:42 PM

"I cannot wait to go for a drive. I've been dying to show off my new scarf."

- I. Duncan

r184 Amateur!

- P. Cline

by Anonymousreply 203September 22, 2024 6:39 PM

"I wonder if anyone will write a song about us."

by Anonymousreply 204September 22, 2024 7:22 PM

Bea was a cunt.

by Anonymousreply 205September 22, 2024 11:14 PM

I was such a fun girl, but later I became very depressed.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 206September 23, 2024 1:36 AM

All my fans at The Datalounge will be so disappointed that I didn't make it to 110

by Anonymousreply 207September 23, 2024 1:48 AM

All that thighmaster stuff and I didn't even make it to 80? Fuck that!

by Anonymousreply 208September 23, 2024 2:18 AM

Actually, I wouldn't mind a little caffeine.

by Anonymousreply 209September 23, 2024 3:34 AM

It's been a good life. Made lots of new friends - and stuck my fist up all of them.

by Anonymousreply 210September 23, 2024 3:35 AM

With respect, St. Peter, you are confusing me with a person whom I played.

by Anonymousreply 211September 23, 2024 3:36 AM

This turn-out really IS weak.

by Anonymousreply 212September 23, 2024 3:37 AM

On the upside, I don't have to diet my way back into that friggin' bikini.

by Anonymousreply 213September 23, 2024 3:38 AM

My momma said...to get things done...you better not mess with Major Tom...

by Anonymousreply 214September 23, 2024 3:39 AM

Maybe I should have taken that next round of Chemo?

by Anonymousreply 215September 23, 2024 4:00 AM

Maybe if I just had big boobs...

by Anonymousreply 216September 23, 2024 4:51 AM

Is this all there was?

by Anonymousreply 217September 23, 2024 4:51 AM

Death bed thoughts is rather morbid to think about. I imagine they would be I don't want to die.

by Anonymousreply 218September 23, 2024 5:21 AM

Just smash my ankles with a sledgehammer.

by Anonymousreply 219September 23, 2024 7:48 AM

Why me instead of my ignorant, parasitic, no-talent sister?

by Anonymousreply 220September 23, 2024 7:59 AM

One day in America, there will be a wannabe dictator more despicable than me.

by Anonymousreply 221September 23, 2024 11:46 AM

This oven could use a good cleaning.

by Anonymousreply 222September 23, 2024 12:09 PM

[quote]Why me instead of my ignorant, parasitic, no-talent sister?

Which one?

by Anonymousreply 223September 23, 2024 1:43 PM

^^ Both

by Anonymousreply 224September 23, 2024 3:27 PM

Are you overlooking Janet, LaToya, or Rebbie ?

by Anonymousreply 225September 23, 2024 3:31 PM

Janet has SOME talent (cough, cough) —she dumb too, though. Make it three. Now let me die in peace.

by Anonymousreply 226September 23, 2024 3:34 PM

I guess organic papaya juice cleanses don't cure pancreatic cancer after all!

by Anonymousreply 227September 23, 2024 8:10 PM

[quote]That guy turning left sees us.....doesn't he? —James Dean

That's actually pretty close to what he said: "He's got to see us!"

by Anonymousreply 228September 23, 2024 10:50 PM

[quote]Speed it up a little! —Elvia Allman

Now THAT'S funny!

by Anonymousreply 229September 23, 2024 10:51 PM

I swear to God, if I get home and Clark has that whore Lana Turner in my house, I'm gonna rip his balls off!

by Anonymousreply 230September 23, 2024 10:52 PM

All I do is make purses. Is that all there is?

by Anonymousreply 231September 23, 2024 10:57 PM

This is a great bike! I love it!

by Anonymousreply 232September 23, 2024 10:58 PM

Hope I'm not going to Hell for molesting all those kids!

by Anonymousreply 233September 23, 2024 11:14 PM

Please, America, don't elect my asshole son to be President of the United States

by Anonymousreply 234September 23, 2024 11:21 PM

I’m dressed beautifully, took the pills; now I’m tying this plastic bag around my head. That’s the worst part.

by Anonymousreply 235September 23, 2024 11:37 PM

Goodbye, city life!

by Anonymousreply 236September 24, 2024 1:45 AM

Giddyup, horsey!

by Anonymousreply 237September 24, 2024 1:59 AM

Gary should’ve talked me out of this.

by Anonymousreply 238September 24, 2024 2:16 AM

I regret the day I started whoring around with a married man.

by Anonymousreply 239September 28, 2024 1:42 AM

What is a "life-end"?

by Anonymousreply 240September 28, 2024 2:30 AM

“You’re not going to that mulatto trollop, are you!??”

by Anonymousreply 241September 28, 2024 3:06 AM

^ You’re not going to invite that mulatto trollop, are you!??”

by Anonymousreply 242September 28, 2024 3:07 AM

The world is full of babbling, bumbling bands of baboons!

by Anonymousreply 243September 28, 2024 8:10 AM

What in hell is a Miss Lindsey? I am the world’s most beautiful lady.

by Anonymousreply 244September 28, 2024 8:44 AM

I never really cared for that cunt, Coral Browne.

by Anonymousreply 245September 28, 2024 7:20 PM

It's just the flu, don't worry.

by Anonymousreply 246September 28, 2024 7:21 PM

The ferry is just too God-damned slow. Fuck it, I'll swim to shore!

by Anonymousreply 247September 28, 2024 11:19 PM

And that bloody oblivious fat cow Joan Plowright wasn't much better!

by Anonymousreply 248September 28, 2024 11:20 PM

Nope, not yet, but I'm getting my thoughts together.

by Anonymousreply 249September 28, 2024 11:21 PM

I can't believe how I've become so morbidly obese. I should hire a personal trainer.

by Anonymousreply 250September 28, 2024 11:36 PM

Wait, is it for real this time?

by Anonymousreply 251September 29, 2024 12:14 AM

"Ah so, is that Ferris Bueller himself in that car there? Jesus, Joseph and Mary, what the fecking feck?!?! Why sure, he be drivin' on the wrong side of da roa------"

by Anonymousreply 252September 29, 2024 12:44 AM

Actually, "Heathers" wasn't that bad...

by Anonymousreply 253September 29, 2024 1:34 AM

Why am I tasting metal?

by Anonymousreply 254September 29, 2024 4:30 AM

Why do I smell toast?

by Anonymousreply 255September 29, 2024 12:09 PM

Goddammit - and that bitch Phyllis Coates is still alive.

by Anonymousreply 256September 29, 2024 3:13 PM

Did I remember to FF that jerk on DL?

by Anonymousreply 257September 29, 2024 3:44 PM

Hey, Boo!

by Anonymousreply 258September 29, 2024 3:45 PM

The proper order is Jesus, then Mary and then Joseph.

by Anonymousreply 259September 29, 2024 3:47 PM

Like sands through an hourglass...

by Anonymousreply 260September 29, 2024 8:38 PM

Sorry Todd, but without Carrie there isn't much point.

by Anonymousreply 261September 29, 2024 8:39 PM

Fuck you, Johnny! This is the LAST time I come to his overrated shithole and do your shitty drugs.

by Anonymousreply 262September 29, 2024 8:41 PM

Bloody hell! I thought I could hold on long enough to skip my idiot son and pass the crown to William. That old horse-faced slag better not call herself queen!

by Anonymousreply 263September 29, 2024 8:44 PM

I hope we burned all the tapes...

by Anonymousreply 264September 29, 2024 8:45 PM

I accomplished so much. Time to go.

by Anonymousreply 265September 30, 2024 11:40 AM

Flavor-Aid? Can't that cheapskate Jones spring for the name-brand stuff for once?

by Anonymousreply 266September 30, 2024 3:48 PM

Taking odds on whether I die today ...

by Anonymousreply 267October 1, 2024 12:02 AM

This'll be the day that I die.

by Anonymousreply 268October 1, 2024 11:36 AM

That surgeon better take 10 years off my life!

by Anonymousreply 269October 1, 2024 11:37 AM

I resent Bette Middler‘s career.

by Anonymousreply 270October 1, 2024 11:45 AM

That will be the day, that I die.

by Anonymousreply 271October 1, 2024 12:32 PM

I think I'll just sit in this open window and play my cornet. It will be nice and relaxing.

by Anonymousreply 272October 1, 2024 3:40 PM

Damn it! I tripped getting out of bed.

by Anonymousreply 273October 1, 2024 5:35 PM

That cock sucker betrayed me for that evil con man.

by Anonymousreply 274October 1, 2024 5:57 PM

That pavement's coming up pretty qui...

by Anonymousreply 275October 1, 2024 10:14 PM

Now which one is the brake and which is the gas pedal again?

by Anonymousreply 276October 2, 2024 1:41 AM

Shit, what was the safe word again?

by Anonymousreply 277October 2, 2024 1:42 AM

I hope that plane misses us.

by Anonymousreply 278October 2, 2024 1:46 AM

Damned if I know, Michael

by Anonymousreply 279October 2, 2024 3:15 AM

This time it's for real!

by Anonymousreply 280October 3, 2024 11:44 AM

I hate being stuck behind big trucks on the highway!

by Anonymousreply 281October 3, 2024 9:03 PM

But'cha ah, Jane, you ah.

by Anonymousreply 282October 3, 2024 9:13 PM

Jesus Christ, I already signed an autograph. What does this asshole loser want NOW?

by Anonymousreply 283October 3, 2024 9:25 PM

I should’ve picked better pleasures.

by Anonymousreply 284October 5, 2024 12:06 PM

So who's there for me?

by Anonymousreply 285October 5, 2024 12:42 PM

Had I not broken this leg…..

by Anonymousreply 286October 5, 2024 12:54 PM

I don’t feel well. Maybe some more poosie will perk me up.

by Anonymousreply 287October 5, 2024 1:02 PM

Lindzey was so much fun during older days.

by Anonymousreply 288October 5, 2024 1:41 PM

Happy's not gonna be happy.

by Anonymousreply 289October 5, 2024 2:10 PM

Honestly, I don’t recall which football team member popped my cherry. They were all lined up and there was so many of them. Some got back in line a second time. 🏈 📣 ⛑️

by Anonymousreply 290October 5, 2024 5:48 PM

"Betty Davis"

Lol.

by Anonymousreply 291October 5, 2024 8:17 PM
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