I wonder how that play ended..
Death bed thoughts..
by Anonymous | reply 316 | November 24, 2024 12:04 PM |
Diana should’ve aborted the ginger.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | September 18, 2024 7:36 AM |
..Covfefe..
by Anonymous | reply 2 | September 18, 2024 4:44 PM |
I wish this crazy, coked out bitch would shut the fuck up and let me sleep. I have to talk to a divorce attorney first thing in the morning.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | September 18, 2024 4:59 PM |
I think a sailor's knot will do.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | September 18, 2024 6:47 PM |
Should have used that seatbelt …
by Anonymous | reply 5 | September 18, 2024 7:52 PM |
Who the fuck is paging me n…
by Anonymous | reply 6 | September 18, 2024 7:53 PM |
Well, this is embarrassing.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | September 18, 2024 7:58 PM |
Bobby? What are you doing here...?
by Anonymous | reply 8 | September 18, 2024 8:15 PM |
I should have given her half of everything I earned, plus the house and kids.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | September 18, 2024 9:15 PM |
This doctor does magic with propf - -
by Anonymous | reply 10 | September 18, 2024 9:21 PM |
I should never have met up with my crazy ex.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | September 18, 2024 9:43 PM |
Corn? When did I have corn?
by Anonymous | reply 12 | September 18, 2024 9:53 PM |
Which way is up?
by Anonymous | reply 13 | September 18, 2024 9:53 PM |
I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT
by Anonymous | reply 14 | September 18, 2024 9:54 PM |
There are so many trees on this mountain...
by Anonymous | reply 15 | September 18, 2024 10:10 PM |
She had it coming.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | September 18, 2024 10:26 PM |
I should’ve left them in a basket on Bette’s doorstep.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | September 18, 2024 11:23 PM |
Tomorrow I'll start my diet.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | September 19, 2024 12:28 AM |
I have sufficient.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | September 19, 2024 12:29 AM |
Maybe I shouldn't have gone to that Trump rally
by Anonymous | reply 20 | September 19, 2024 12:30 AM |
Why couldn't I have hooked up with a skinny girl from steerage?
by Anonymous | reply 21 | September 19, 2024 12:31 AM |
"Two bitches I'll never have to see again, Patty Duke and Lucille Ball!"
by Anonymous | reply 22 | September 19, 2024 12:59 AM |
I shouldn't have listened to Donald Trump
by Anonymous | reply 23 | September 19, 2024 1:03 AM |
I think I’ve got the Gobloots.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | September 19, 2024 1:18 AM |
I had to kill her. It was her or me...
by Anonymous | reply 25 | September 19, 2024 1:19 AM |
There. Are you happy now?
by Anonymous | reply 26 | September 19, 2024 1:22 AM |
Ahh, nothing is as relaxing as a bath.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | September 19, 2024 1:27 AM |
Just like Mom always said, there's nothing as relaxing as a bath.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | September 19, 2024 1:27 AM |
Two dots, OP?
Oh, dear.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | September 19, 2024 1:29 AM |
That Big One feels great ….soooo relaxing…..sooooo…..blllubb
by Anonymous | reply 30 | September 19, 2024 1:36 AM |
These disco lights really set the mood - they almost make you forget you're in a lousy Days Inn in Glendale!
by Anonymous | reply 31 | September 19, 2024 1:41 AM |
I should have had two abortions
by Anonymous | reply 32 | September 19, 2024 2:06 AM |
I should have used EZ-Off
by Anonymous | reply 33 | September 19, 2024 2:09 AM |
Nay! Nay!
by Anonymous | reply 34 | September 19, 2024 2:09 AM |
Maybe I should take some stool softeners and Ex-Lax.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | September 19, 2024 2:09 AM |
But cha Ah, B.D. Ya AH a bitch!
by Anonymous | reply 36 | September 19, 2024 2:10 AM |
John is such an idiot. Failed the bar exam twice, his boring magazine George is going under, and now he's confused about where he is.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | September 19, 2024 2:15 AM |
LOOK WHAT I CAN FUCKIN' D—
by Anonymous | reply 38 | September 19, 2024 2:33 AM |
And you may ask yourself, How did I get here....?
by Anonymous | reply 39 | September 19, 2024 2:36 AM |
All this Italian food I've been eating is giving me severe heartburn. Next time I'll just order a salad.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | September 19, 2024 2:47 AM |
Heartbeat,
Heartbeat,
Why do you fail me now?
by Anonymous | reply 41 | September 19, 2024 2:49 AM |
What the fuck is this pilot doing? Does this asshole even know how to fly a helicopter?
by Anonymous | reply 42 | September 19, 2024 3:17 AM |
In retrospect, I should have eaten ALL the pineapple.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | September 19, 2024 3:17 AM |
Don’t bother, they’re here.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | September 19, 2024 3:42 AM |
Chris, I'm home from my MLM conference! Where's the kids?
by Anonymous | reply 45 | September 19, 2024 3:48 AM |
One more big push.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | September 19, 2024 3:51 AM |
"My shoes! My hair! My two scoops!"
Inmate and one term, twice-impeached former POTUS*
by Anonymous | reply 47 | September 19, 2024 4:05 AM |
Maybe I shouldn't have gone to that Trump rally
by Anonymous | reply 48 | September 19, 2024 4:16 AM |
I should really rethink my friendship with Aaron Hernandez
by Anonymous | reply 49 | September 19, 2024 4:17 AM |
Jesus Fucking Christ, I just gave that asshole an autograph, and now they're back?
by Anonymous | reply 50 | September 19, 2024 4:37 AM |
I got away with everything.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | September 19, 2024 4:52 AM |
What does this button do?
by Anonymous | reply 52 | September 19, 2024 5:04 AM |
[………]
by Anonymous | reply 53 | September 19, 2024 5:07 AM |
I can't believe all the treasures I'm finding on the bottom of this marina!
by Anonymous | reply 54 | September 19, 2024 5:12 AM |
Crikey, look at the size of that stingray! I know, I'll sneak up on 'er and give 'er the surprise of 'er life!
by Anonymous | reply 55 | September 19, 2024 5:15 AM |
They’ll never take me alive!
by Anonymous | reply 56 | September 19, 2024 5:23 AM |
I'd rather die than stay married to this moron.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | September 19, 2024 5:23 AM |
Man, it’s getting hot in this place. Hitler?! What are you doing here?
by Anonymous | reply 58 | September 19, 2024 5:29 AM |
Mommy, you said if I came all the way down here you'd give me another pineapple slice;.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | September 19, 2024 5:47 AM |
Fuck this feels like a heart attack, I can't die like this, I'm a Jew eating ham in Harry Nilsson's flat. Alan will plotz and tell the whole world it killed me. 30 percent and slander into the next life. Aye yi yi
by Anonymous | reply 60 | September 19, 2024 5:52 AM |
Making out with Chris Walken was so not worth this.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | September 19, 2024 5:53 AM |
I can't believe I got involved with that insecure, legless freak.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | September 19, 2024 5:57 AM |
One more swallow and then that's it...
by Anonymous | reply 63 | September 19, 2024 6:02 AM |
EHR-AH, TOUCHDOWN, MUTHERFU --
by Anonymous | reply 64 | September 19, 2024 6:04 AM |
AFLAC!!!
by Anonymous | reply 65 | September 19, 2024 6:31 AM |
I hate zat kveen!
by Anonymous | reply 66 | September 19, 2024 7:11 AM |
Who’s paging me?
by Anonymous | reply 67 | September 19, 2024 7:23 AM |
Why do the stairs smell like cooking oil?
by Anonymous | reply 68 | September 19, 2024 7:36 AM |
I can't believe that fat cunt is the president of my fan club.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | September 19, 2024 7:37 AM |
Come to think of, Rosebud was a awfully stupid name for a sled.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | September 19, 2024 1:07 PM |
Who let all these bats in here...??
by Anonymous | reply 71 | September 19, 2024 1:07 PM |
This is just like being in a Fast and Furious movie! Cool!
by Anonymous | reply 72 | September 19, 2024 1:12 PM |
I'm too young to die!
by Anonymous | reply 73 | September 19, 2024 1:13 PM |
I should have bought a Honda.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | September 19, 2024 6:02 PM |
It's taking forever.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | September 19, 2024 6:04 PM |
I should stay away from hustlers
by Anonymous | reply 76 | September 19, 2024 6:07 PM |
This is a surprise. Apparently, we have Fatty Arbuckle on the phone.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | September 19, 2024 6:23 PM |
Tallulah Bankhead‘s last words:
requesting “codeine…bourbon”
by Anonymous | reply 78 | September 19, 2024 6:52 PM |
I need this parade like I need a hole in the head.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | September 19, 2024 6:54 PM |
No more Dominican teenage boys for me!
by Anonymous | reply 80 | September 19, 2024 7:00 PM |
At age 79, this hot twink at Cibolo Creek Ranch is going to give me a heart attack; but it’s worth it.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | September 19, 2024 7:06 PM |
I believe I can fly ...
by Anonymous | reply 82 | September 19, 2024 7:11 PM |
That bitch Lindsey betrayed me and flipped to Donald Trump when invited to play golf.
by Anonymous | reply 83 | September 19, 2024 7:13 PM |
Which end is up?
by Anonymous | reply 84 | September 19, 2024 7:14 PM |
STAUNCH!
by Anonymous | reply 85 | September 19, 2024 7:15 PM |
Am I gonna let the elevator bring me down? oh shit this ain't Percocet...
by Anonymous | reply 86 | September 19, 2024 7:17 PM |
I wonder if my dick will end up featured in the Smithsonian?
by Anonymous | reply 87 | September 19, 2024 7:19 PM |
Timing really is everything.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | September 19, 2024 7:23 PM |
Rumors will fly guessing who I was with.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | September 19, 2024 7:26 PM |
Abraham, call 988 if you have suicidal ideas. It gets better.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | September 19, 2024 7:29 PM |
I am being murdered to shut me up. But it will be squelched by the government.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | September 19, 2024 7:31 PM |
I totally did it.
by Anonymous | reply 92 | September 19, 2024 8:09 PM |
Do NOT let Lindsey Graham describe himself as The Widow McCain
by Anonymous | reply 93 | September 19, 2024 8:43 PM |
Mama Cass died here? Wow!
by Anonymous | reply 94 | September 19, 2024 8:49 PM |
They were supposed to shoot Suge, not me!
by Anonymous | reply 95 | September 19, 2024 8:50 PM |
I deserved a book deal.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | September 19, 2024 8:53 PM |
I guess the wealth didn't trickle down after all. Oops!
by Anonymous | reply 98 | September 19, 2024 8:56 PM |
I never trusted those fat ass Kennedys.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | September 19, 2024 9:00 PM |
Victoria Principal is a CUNT!
by Anonymous | reply 100 | September 19, 2024 9:05 PM |
Either that wallpaper goes or I do.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | September 19, 2024 9:16 PM |
Mnlmnlmnmm
by Anonymous | reply 102 | September 19, 2024 9:21 PM |
"it's perfectly safe!" The CEO of Oceangate
by Anonymous | reply 103 | September 19, 2024 9:22 PM |
We heard you the first time, r66.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | September 19, 2024 9:24 PM |
This liver cancer is unbearable!
by Anonymous | reply 105 | September 19, 2024 10:05 PM |
Is it too late for delivery?
by Anonymous | reply 106 | September 19, 2024 10:09 PM |
Kittens.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | September 19, 2024 10:13 PM |
Linda’s going to make this all about her, isn’t she?
by Anonymous | reply 108 | September 19, 2024 10:33 PM |
Wait! I can’t die like this! Linked forever with a fucking psychopath!
I’m such a fool.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | September 19, 2024 10:48 PM |
I'll miss the good old days, grabbing pussy with Donald Trump
by Anonymous | reply 110 | September 19, 2024 11:13 PM |
Ha! That asshole Tricky Dick would never pull this kind of crowd in Dallas!
by Anonymous | reply 111 | September 19, 2024 11:19 PM |
I want to meet the hard-working immigrant kitchen staff on the way out...
by Anonymous | reply 112 | September 19, 2024 11:22 PM |
I’m so bored.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | September 19, 2024 11:30 PM |
I love West Hollywood. It's such a safe neighborhood.
by Anonymous | reply 114 | September 19, 2024 11:32 PM |
When I paid you boys to pound me, this was NOT what I had in mind!
by Anonymous | reply 115 | September 19, 2024 11:33 PM |
I've lost so much weight on the watermelon diet!
by Anonymous | reply 116 | September 19, 2024 11:34 PM |
Ahhh, nothing beats smoking in bed.
by Anonymous | reply 117 | September 19, 2024 11:34 PM |
That’s a big truck.
by Anonymous | reply 118 | September 19, 2024 11:46 PM |
Does this ladder lead to a hot tub?
by Anonymous | reply 119 | September 20, 2024 12:28 AM |
I believe I can fly...
by Anonymous | reply 120 | September 20, 2024 12:32 AM |
R117. Joan Davis didn't die from a ciggy in bed...her daughter did. Fail for you for not properly knowing D-list 1950's comediannes causes of death!
by Anonymous | reply 121 | September 20, 2024 12:42 AM |
R117 was thinking of Jack Cassidy R121 but his chubby fingers typed Joan Davis.
by Anonymous | reply 122 | September 20, 2024 12:45 AM |
R122. I had to take Jack Cassidy's chubby fingers. That way he didn't have to look at me...
by Anonymous | reply 123 | September 20, 2024 12:50 AM |
Of all the places to spend my last moments on earth, why does it have to be on this filthy sidewalk in front of this sleazy club?
by Anonymous | reply 124 | September 20, 2024 12:53 AM |
At least I won’t have to work with Marilyn Monroe again.
by Anonymous | reply 125 | September 20, 2024 12:57 AM |
Is that a plane?
by Anonymous | reply 126 | September 20, 2024 1:06 AM |
Oh Shit!
by Anonymous | reply 127 | September 20, 2024 1:26 AM |
You are telling me those things are ladybugs? They don’t look like no damn ladybugs.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | September 20, 2024 1:33 AM |
I’m just going to take a handful more of Nembutal pills so I can get a good night’s sleep.
by Anonymous | reply 129 | September 20, 2024 1:48 AM |
Courtney Love is a skanky, unbearable CUNT!
by Anonymous | reply 130 | September 20, 2024 1:48 AM |
I love West Hollywood. It's such a safe neighborhood. —Sal Mineo
Not funny or ironic or in the spirit of the thread. He died in a brutal random crime and was mocked and ridiculed for it because he was gay.
by Anonymous | reply 131 | September 20, 2024 1:56 AM |
Awesome light show!
by Anonymous | reply 132 | September 20, 2024 2:13 AM |
Jesus, take the wheel!
by Anonymous | reply 133 | September 20, 2024 2:40 AM |
Gwampa, don’t stick me out da win —
doooooooooooow
by Anonymous | reply 134 | September 20, 2024 2:51 AM |
Mommy, I can’t see the African dogs. Can you hold me up?
by Anonymous | reply 135 | September 20, 2024 3:08 AM |
Oh, shit, here comes a dingo!
by Anonymous | reply 136 | September 20, 2024 3:17 AM |
I should have worn a life jacket...
by Anonymous | reply 137 | September 20, 2024 4:36 AM |
I’m going to count to three. There will not be a four.
by Anonymous | reply 138 | September 20, 2024 7:36 AM |
Nig*uh -- I said fetch me some COLD water!!
by Anonymous | reply 139 | September 20, 2024 7:39 AM |
I hate to finally admit it, but — objectively speaking — Dick York was the better Darren.
by Anonymous | reply 140 | September 20, 2024 7:45 AM |
They didn't taste as good as 5 Guys
by Anonymous | reply 141 | September 20, 2024 7:52 AM |
I have a fabulous life without Donald, hope I never see a golf course again.
by Anonymous | reply 142 | September 20, 2024 8:03 AM |
Dont eat me Stanley. I left you an open bag of dog food.
by Anonymous | reply 143 | September 20, 2024 8:05 AM |
This is the only way I can get to reminisce with Soupy Sales.
by Anonymous | reply 144 | September 20, 2024 10:41 AM |
R122 - Jack Cassidy was smoking on the living room sofa and died as a burnt husk near the front door. You know what you can do with your chubby fingers... a habit for you, I'm sure.
by Anonymous | reply 145 | September 20, 2024 12:46 PM |
Hillary! What are you doing in the park so later?
by Anonymous | reply 146 | September 20, 2024 12:47 PM |
You people are WICKED! Lol.
by Anonymous | reply 147 | September 20, 2024 1:37 PM |
That guy turning left sees us.....doesn't he?
by Anonymous | reply 148 | September 20, 2024 2:42 PM |
I hope the circumstances of my suicide are accurately reported.
by Anonymous | reply 149 | September 20, 2024 5:46 PM |
"This is the only way I know to be free again... Please don't follow me."
Suicide note
by Anonymous | reply 150 | September 20, 2024 6:08 PM |
Death? You’re FIRED.
by Anonymous | reply 151 | September 20, 2024 6:10 PM |
This will show Rex Harrison I mean business!
by Anonymous | reply 152 | September 20, 2024 6:22 PM |
I think I'll just sit here for awhile.
by Anonymous | reply 153 | September 20, 2024 7:47 PM |
Hear hear! What r152 said!
by Anonymous | reply 154 | September 20, 2024 8:02 PM |
Little Boys, little boys. Everywhere I turn, I can see them. Little boys, little boys. Night and day, I eat, sleep, and breathe them.
by Anonymous | reply 155 | September 20, 2024 8:25 PM |
R131 - MARY! You are a hall monitor extraordinaire.
by Anonymous | reply 157 | September 20, 2024 10:36 PM |
How warm will Hell be?
by Anonymous | reply 158 | September 20, 2024 10:39 PM |
Fucking Dumbledore!
by Anonymous | reply 159 | September 20, 2024 11:23 PM |
You won't have Nixon to kick around any more.
by Anonymous | reply 160 | September 20, 2024 11:26 PM |
That was one helluva party.
by Anonymous | reply 161 | September 21, 2024 12:23 AM |
Jell-O for dinner. Pretty dog. My leg fell off.
by Anonymous | reply 162 | September 21, 2024 12:45 AM |
I'm not feeling great...
by Anonymous | reply 163 | September 21, 2024 12:49 AM |
Looks like God got me for that.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | September 21, 2024 12:50 AM |
Of all the nights for me not to have Jay do my hair ...
by Anonymous | reply 165 | September 21, 2024 1:10 AM |
The fucking little shit got into MY cage!
by Anonymous | reply 166 | September 21, 2024 1:18 AM |
One more little nip and tuck can't hurt ....
by Anonymous | reply 167 | September 21, 2024 1:20 AM |
I should have gone to AA
by Anonymous | reply 168 | September 21, 2024 1:21 AM |
I should have had a few more cheeseburgers
by Anonymous | reply 169 | September 21, 2024 1:25 AM |
Fuck you, Dad!
by Anonymous | reply 170 | September 21, 2024 1:28 AM |
An eight ball, you say? Now that sounds like something I'd like to experience.
by Anonymous | reply 171 | September 21, 2024 1:35 AM |
There's no better feeling that riding an open country rode on my bike -- God I feel so alive!
by Anonymous | reply 172 | September 21, 2024 1:36 AM |
Hey grandma, pull the purse out of your twat and hit the gas already. Those little bastards are gaining on us!
by Anonymous | reply 173 | September 21, 2024 1:38 AM |
My Heart Won’t Go On
by Anonymous | reply 174 | September 21, 2024 1:38 AM |
I've had sufficient ... of this earthly experience.
by Anonymous | reply 175 | September 21, 2024 1:40 AM |
Christina! Bring me the coffin!
by Anonymous | reply 176 | September 21, 2024 1:41 AM |
On reflection, I should have seen a doctor sooner. No one has a single headache lasting for six months.
by Anonymous | reply 177 | September 21, 2024 1:45 AM |
Oh look, a shooting star. Pretty!
by Anonymous | reply 178 | September 21, 2024 1:47 AM |
This horse is a bit too heavy.
by Anonymous | reply 179 | September 21, 2024 1:47 AM |
Well, this is my last trip in a Winnebago.
by Anonymous | reply 180 | September 21, 2024 1:55 AM |
That little Filipino sure gives good head!
by Anonymous | reply 181 | September 21, 2024 2:03 AM |
I'm dumping you, you neurotic, wrinkled, old bag!
by Anonymous | reply 182 | September 21, 2024 2:13 AM |
Betty!!!! What the hell?!!!
by Anonymous | reply 183 | September 21, 2024 2:19 AM |
Aaaaaaaah! *splat*
by Anonymous | reply 184 | September 21, 2024 2:22 AM |
“My baby is stillborn, I’m so distraught!”
by Anonymous | reply 185 | September 21, 2024 3:03 AM |
I was already dead on the inside, so this is working out well for me
by Anonymous | reply 186 | September 21, 2024 3:10 AM |
I shouldn't have jerked off with John.
by Anonymous | reply 187 | September 21, 2024 6:16 AM |
I’m finished, but now I’m famous. I want get to enjoy it.
by Anonymous | reply 188 | September 21, 2024 9:19 AM |
Has anybody seen my gun?
by Anonymous | reply 189 | September 21, 2024 3:10 PM |
I’m really digging the polyrhythm of these hospital machines.
by Anonymous | reply 190 | September 21, 2024 7:10 PM |
They better not let that orange fucker come to my funeral.
by Anonymous | reply 191 | September 21, 2024 9:40 PM |
My enemies better not DARE show up at my funeral!
by Anonymous | reply 192 | September 22, 2024 3:01 AM |
Melania better not show her tits at my funeral
by Anonymous | reply 193 | September 22, 2024 3:16 AM |
Bobby better not stash my corpse in his deep freezer!
by Anonymous | reply 194 | September 22, 2024 5:07 AM |
Donald better not bury me on one of his shitty golf courses!
by Anonymous | reply 195 | September 22, 2024 6:40 AM |
r171 you mean SPEEDball
by Anonymous | reply 196 | September 22, 2024 8:43 AM |
Mrs. Richard Carlson *eyeroll*
by Anonymous | reply 197 | September 22, 2024 11:25 AM |
R196 - I didn't say what Belushi was going to do with that eight ball...
by Anonymous | reply 198 | September 22, 2024 3:00 PM |
R148, I once saw an interview with Alec Guinness where he told the interviewer that when James Dean brought his new car over to show him, Alec said, "Do not drive this car. I'm not usually psychic but I have a really bad feeling coming from it."
The interviewer responded that at the time of the crash Dean was probably thinking, "That was a bloody funny thing Alec Guinness said to me."
by Anonymous | reply 199 | September 22, 2024 3:13 PM |
"The next sound you hear will be Clark Gable opening his refrigerator."
by Anonymous | reply 200 | September 22, 2024 4:19 PM |
Speed it up a little!
by Anonymous | reply 201 | September 22, 2024 6:41 PM |
I DID make it to 100!
by Anonymous | reply 202 | September 22, 2024 6:42 PM |
"I cannot wait to go for a drive. I've been dying to show off my new scarf."
- I. Duncan
r184 Amateur!
- P. Cline
by Anonymous | reply 203 | September 22, 2024 7:39 PM |
"I wonder if anyone will write a song about us."
by Anonymous | reply 204 | September 22, 2024 8:22 PM |
Bea was a cunt.
by Anonymous | reply 205 | September 23, 2024 12:14 AM |
I was such a fun girl, but later I became very depressed.
by Anonymous | reply 206 | September 23, 2024 2:36 AM |
All my fans at The Datalounge will be so disappointed that I didn't make it to 110
by Anonymous | reply 207 | September 23, 2024 2:48 AM |
All that thighmaster stuff and I didn't even make it to 80? Fuck that!
by Anonymous | reply 208 | September 23, 2024 3:18 AM |
Actually, I wouldn't mind a little caffeine.
by Anonymous | reply 209 | September 23, 2024 4:34 AM |
It's been a good life. Made lots of new friends - and stuck my fist up all of them.
by Anonymous | reply 210 | September 23, 2024 4:35 AM |
With respect, St. Peter, you are confusing me with a person whom I played.
by Anonymous | reply 211 | September 23, 2024 4:36 AM |
This turn-out really IS weak.
by Anonymous | reply 212 | September 23, 2024 4:37 AM |
On the upside, I don't have to diet my way back into that friggin' bikini.
by Anonymous | reply 213 | September 23, 2024 4:38 AM |
My momma said...to get things done...you better not mess with Major Tom...
by Anonymous | reply 214 | September 23, 2024 4:39 AM |
Maybe I should have taken that next round of Chemo?
by Anonymous | reply 215 | September 23, 2024 5:00 AM |
Maybe if I just had big boobs...
by Anonymous | reply 216 | September 23, 2024 5:51 AM |
Is this all there was?
by Anonymous | reply 217 | September 23, 2024 5:51 AM |
Death bed thoughts is rather morbid to think about. I imagine they would be I don't want to die.
by Anonymous | reply 218 | September 23, 2024 6:21 AM |
Just smash my ankles with a sledgehammer.
by Anonymous | reply 219 | September 23, 2024 8:48 AM |
Why me instead of my ignorant, parasitic, no-talent sister?
by Anonymous | reply 220 | September 23, 2024 8:59 AM |
One day in America, there will be a wannabe dictator more despicable than me.
by Anonymous | reply 221 | September 23, 2024 12:46 PM |
This oven could use a good cleaning.
by Anonymous | reply 222 | September 23, 2024 1:09 PM |
[quote]Why me instead of my ignorant, parasitic, no-talent sister?
Which one?
by Anonymous | reply 223 | September 23, 2024 2:43 PM |
^^ Both
by Anonymous | reply 224 | September 23, 2024 4:27 PM |
Are you overlooking Janet, LaToya, or Rebbie ?
by Anonymous | reply 225 | September 23, 2024 4:31 PM |
Janet has SOME talent (cough, cough) —she dumb too, though. Make it three. Now let me die in peace.
by Anonymous | reply 226 | September 23, 2024 4:34 PM |
I guess organic papaya juice cleanses don't cure pancreatic cancer after all!
by Anonymous | reply 227 | September 23, 2024 9:10 PM |
[quote]That guy turning left sees us.....doesn't he? —James Dean
That's actually pretty close to what he said: "He's got to see us!"
by Anonymous | reply 228 | September 23, 2024 11:50 PM |
[quote]Speed it up a little! —Elvia Allman
Now THAT'S funny!
by Anonymous | reply 229 | September 23, 2024 11:51 PM |
I swear to God, if I get home and Clark has that whore Lana Turner in my house, I'm gonna rip his balls off!
by Anonymous | reply 230 | September 23, 2024 11:52 PM |
All I do is make purses. Is that all there is?
by Anonymous | reply 231 | September 23, 2024 11:57 PM |
This is a great bike! I love it!
by Anonymous | reply 232 | September 23, 2024 11:58 PM |
Hope I'm not going to Hell for molesting all those kids!
by Anonymous | reply 233 | September 24, 2024 12:14 AM |
Please, America, don't elect my asshole son to be President of the United States
by Anonymous | reply 234 | September 24, 2024 12:21 AM |
I’m dressed beautifully, took the pills; now I’m tying this plastic bag around my head. That’s the worst part.
by Anonymous | reply 235 | September 24, 2024 12:37 AM |
Goodbye, city life!
by Anonymous | reply 236 | September 24, 2024 2:45 AM |
Giddyup, horsey!
by Anonymous | reply 237 | September 24, 2024 2:59 AM |
Gary should’ve talked me out of this.
by Anonymous | reply 238 | September 24, 2024 3:16 AM |
I regret the day I started whoring around with a married man.
by Anonymous | reply 239 | September 28, 2024 2:42 AM |
What is a "life-end"?
by Anonymous | reply 240 | September 28, 2024 3:30 AM |
“You’re not going to that mulatto trollop, are you!??”
by Anonymous | reply 241 | September 28, 2024 4:06 AM |
^ You’re not going to invite that mulatto trollop, are you!??”
by Anonymous | reply 242 | September 28, 2024 4:07 AM |
The world is full of babbling, bumbling bands of baboons!
by Anonymous | reply 243 | September 28, 2024 9:10 AM |
What in hell is a Miss Lindsey? I am the world’s most beautiful lady.
by Anonymous | reply 244 | September 28, 2024 9:44 AM |
I never really cared for that cunt, Coral Browne.
by Anonymous | reply 245 | September 28, 2024 8:20 PM |
It's just the flu, don't worry.
by Anonymous | reply 246 | September 28, 2024 8:21 PM |
The ferry is just too God-damned slow. Fuck it, I'll swim to shore!
by Anonymous | reply 247 | September 29, 2024 12:19 AM |
And that bloody oblivious fat cow Joan Plowright wasn't much better!
by Anonymous | reply 248 | September 29, 2024 12:20 AM |
Nope, not yet, but I'm getting my thoughts together.
by Anonymous | reply 249 | September 29, 2024 12:21 AM |
I can't believe how I've become so morbidly obese. I should hire a personal trainer.
by Anonymous | reply 250 | September 29, 2024 12:36 AM |
Wait, is it for real this time?
by Anonymous | reply 251 | September 29, 2024 1:14 AM |
"Ah so, is that Ferris Bueller himself in that car there? Jesus, Joseph and Mary, what the fecking feck?!?! Why sure, he be drivin' on the wrong side of da roa------"
by Anonymous | reply 252 | September 29, 2024 1:44 AM |
Actually, "Heathers" wasn't that bad...
by Anonymous | reply 253 | September 29, 2024 2:34 AM |
Why am I tasting metal?
by Anonymous | reply 254 | September 29, 2024 5:30 AM |
Why do I smell toast?
by Anonymous | reply 255 | September 29, 2024 1:09 PM |
Goddammit - and that bitch Phyllis Coates is still alive.
by Anonymous | reply 256 | September 29, 2024 4:13 PM |
Did I remember to FF that jerk on DL?
by Anonymous | reply 257 | September 29, 2024 4:44 PM |
Hey, Boo!
by Anonymous | reply 258 | September 29, 2024 4:45 PM |
The proper order is Jesus, then Mary and then Joseph.
by Anonymous | reply 259 | September 29, 2024 4:47 PM |
Like sands through an hourglass...
by Anonymous | reply 260 | September 29, 2024 9:38 PM |
Sorry Todd, but without Carrie there isn't much point.
by Anonymous | reply 261 | September 29, 2024 9:39 PM |
Fuck you, Johnny! This is the LAST time I come to his overrated shithole and do your shitty drugs.
by Anonymous | reply 262 | September 29, 2024 9:41 PM |
Bloody hell! I thought I could hold on long enough to skip my idiot son and pass the crown to William. That old horse-faced slag better not call herself queen!
by Anonymous | reply 263 | September 29, 2024 9:44 PM |
I hope we burned all the tapes...
by Anonymous | reply 264 | September 29, 2024 9:45 PM |
I accomplished so much. Time to go.
by Anonymous | reply 265 | September 30, 2024 12:40 PM |
Flavor-Aid? Can't that cheapskate Jones spring for the name-brand stuff for once?
by Anonymous | reply 266 | September 30, 2024 4:48 PM |
Taking odds on whether I die today ...
by Anonymous | reply 267 | October 1, 2024 1:02 AM |
This'll be the day that I die.
by Anonymous | reply 268 | October 1, 2024 12:36 PM |
That surgeon better take 10 years off my life!
by Anonymous | reply 269 | October 1, 2024 12:37 PM |
I resent Bette Middler‘s career.
by Anonymous | reply 270 | October 1, 2024 12:45 PM |
That will be the day, that I die.
by Anonymous | reply 271 | October 1, 2024 1:32 PM |
I think I'll just sit in this open window and play my cornet. It will be nice and relaxing.
by Anonymous | reply 272 | October 1, 2024 4:40 PM |
Damn it! I tripped getting out of bed.
by Anonymous | reply 273 | October 1, 2024 6:35 PM |
That cock sucker betrayed me for that evil con man.
by Anonymous | reply 274 | October 1, 2024 6:57 PM |
That pavement's coming up pretty qui...
by Anonymous | reply 275 | October 1, 2024 11:14 PM |
Now which one is the brake and which is the gas pedal again?
by Anonymous | reply 276 | October 2, 2024 2:41 AM |
Shit, what was the safe word again?
by Anonymous | reply 277 | October 2, 2024 2:42 AM |
I hope that plane misses us.
by Anonymous | reply 278 | October 2, 2024 2:46 AM |
Damned if I know, Michael
by Anonymous | reply 279 | October 2, 2024 4:15 AM |
This time it's for real!
by Anonymous | reply 280 | October 3, 2024 12:44 PM |
I hate being stuck behind big trucks on the highway!
by Anonymous | reply 281 | October 3, 2024 10:03 PM |
But'cha ah, Jane, you ah.
by Anonymous | reply 282 | October 3, 2024 10:13 PM |
Jesus Christ, I already signed an autograph. What does this asshole loser want NOW?
by Anonymous | reply 283 | October 3, 2024 10:25 PM |
I should’ve picked better pleasures.
by Anonymous | reply 284 | October 5, 2024 1:06 PM |
So who's there for me?
by Anonymous | reply 285 | October 5, 2024 1:42 PM |
Had I not broken this leg…..
by Anonymous | reply 286 | October 5, 2024 1:54 PM |
I don’t feel well. Maybe some more poosie will perk me up.
by Anonymous | reply 287 | October 5, 2024 2:02 PM |
Lindzey was so much fun during older days.
by Anonymous | reply 288 | October 5, 2024 2:41 PM |
Happy's not gonna be happy.
by Anonymous | reply 289 | October 5, 2024 3:10 PM |
Honestly, I don’t recall which football team member popped my cherry. They were all lined up and there was so many of them. Some got back in line a second time. 🏈 📣 ⛑️
by Anonymous | reply 290 | October 5, 2024 6:48 PM |
"Betty Davis"
Lol.
by Anonymous | reply 291 | October 5, 2024 9:17 PM |
God! He looks so sexy with that gun...
by Anonymous | reply 292 | November 14, 2024 7:52 AM |
I guess we shoulda voted fer the nigger
by Anonymous | reply 293 | November 14, 2024 5:16 PM |
What does this button do?
by Anonymous | reply 294 | November 14, 2024 5:34 PM |
It’s McAuliffe
by Anonymous | reply 295 | November 14, 2024 5:35 PM |
“Cindy! Oy, FIT CUNT! Get Beast a 40 piece Chicken McNugget with extra honey. Hide 19 of the nuggets (she hunts for them in her sleep).”
by Anonymous | reply 296 | November 14, 2024 5:38 PM |
It should’ve been Shirley & Laverne
by Anonymous | reply 297 | November 15, 2024 8:52 AM |
Hi. I'm here to chronicle and learn all about your prehistoric culture. Shall we start with something to eat?
by Anonymous | reply 298 | November 16, 2024 11:04 PM |
Are you SURE you're sober enough to drive
by Anonymous | reply 299 | November 16, 2024 11:05 PM |
A brand new liver?! Well, let's drink to that!
by Anonymous | reply 300 | November 16, 2024 11:07 PM |
Damn it, pancreas!
by Anonymous | reply 301 | November 16, 2024 11:09 PM |
Homemade airplane - what could go wrong?
by Anonymous | reply 302 | November 16, 2024 11:38 PM |
I’m comin’, Louise!
by Anonymous | reply 303 | November 19, 2024 6:37 PM |
Sieg Heil!!
by Anonymous | reply 304 | November 19, 2024 8:02 PM |
Did he cum?
by Anonymous | reply 305 | November 19, 2024 8:44 PM |
I must be the after effects of cocaine, and not sniffing the OxiClean.
by Anonymous | reply 306 | November 20, 2024 1:42 AM |
I often chuckled to myself about Tina seeming like a little lesbian-in-training…ha, ha.
by Anonymous | reply 307 | November 20, 2024 2:57 AM |
That Faye Dunaway sure is a great actress.
by Anonymous | reply 308 | November 20, 2024 3:29 AM |
How stands the empire
by Anonymous | reply 309 | November 20, 2024 3:35 AM |
I have a YUGE mandate and everybody loves me!
by Anonymous | reply 310 | November 20, 2024 4:48 AM |
Jill! Jill, did I win?
by Anonymous | reply 311 | November 20, 2024 3:38 PM |
Oh, hi Burke.
by Anonymous | reply 312 | November 23, 2024 1:25 PM |
I’ll beat this Covid in 9 days, 9 hours, and 9 minutes. The bleach and Ivermectin are working I believe.
by Anonymous | reply 313 | November 23, 2024 8:19 PM |
Who is Trump's Albert Speer going to be?
by Anonymous | reply 314 | November 24, 2024 4:20 AM |
I’m really going to enjoy the next four years of the Trump presidency!
by Anonymous | reply 315 | November 24, 2024 6:53 AM |
Nothing is as fulfilling as a dump on the roadside -HEY…
by Anonymous | reply 316 | November 24, 2024 12:04 PM |