Are you offended by the word Queer to identify you?

No.

Queer or gay or homosexual is all good AFAIC.

I wonder how many times OP can ask this question. Apparently she is vaccinated against being trite.

The word "queer" is harmful, hurtful, degrading and with a violent past.

The word "queer" is vile and should be buried in the ash heap of history. It's a disgusting word.

No I'm fine with the word Queer but I've met several gays age 50+ who get so reactive about it. The word was used as a weapon against them and, no, they do not feel like 'reclaiming' it.

"Queer" now means something else entirely and doesn't mean "gay". In fact, the people who use the word are using it to avoid using the word "gay". That's why gay men and women don't use that word.

So what does it mean?

The word "queer" doesn't mean "gay". It means lesbian, gay, bi, trans (who are often heterosexuals), nonbinary, intersex, plus plus (which some have suggested includes pedos). Saying "queer" is a way of lumping lesbians and gay men in with all these others and denying us a way in which to say we are exclusively attracted to our own sex. It started to be adopted again by some due to the anti-gay "queer theory", which argues that homosexuality is a social construct.

It is not a simple description of a sexuality but pertains to an ideology, a set of beliefs. There's also the fact that it literally means weird, strange, odd. People who say they're "queer" do so because they think it makes them sound more "special". It's all very pretentious.

Yes.

But this topic is becoming a weekly thread.

A poll would have been a good idea. Maybe grouped by age groups.

R7, you think too hard.

I'm gay, not queer.

R5 I don’t think that is true. It is being used to clearly mean gay.

As someone whose first language is Spanish, I would like to know what other gays from English speaking countries other than the US, think about using this word in their home countries, given that this word is an “Americanism”.

Many gays who are not native English speakers, do not know if they should actually use this word in a casual way like we use the word “gay”.

All bullshit. No im not offended but I don’t use it to describe myself

I identify as bisexual, I don't need queer or pansexual or whatever else is out there now.

It's a catch-all term. I use it out of convenience to describe anything not-straight.

Are you offended if I call myself homo?

Not offended but it's a huge red flag and I typically avoid people who use that term because they're frequently stupid.

It depends on the context.

First, I'm not "offended" by words. Extensive medical studies reveal that no one has ever died of "Being Offended." As an ElderGay (over 80), who remembers when "Queer" was a negative term, I don't use it today.

When I asked my straight native English speaking cousin, he said it meant “freak and abnormal”. Why on earth would gays choose to associate their identity with the meaning of this word?

Straight people actually make fun of this word, and they still use it to mean freak. Some homophobes posts online on YouTube and TikTok comments, that gays admit and acknowledge that we are what the meaning of that word represents. That we are accurately describing who we are.

[quote]As an ElderGay (over 80), who remembers when "Queer" was a negative term, I don't use it today.

I can understand that.

But there is also something empowering about embracing a slur, owning it, and saying there's nothing wrong with it.

It seems to me that the idea of using a slur as a way to empowerment is culturally related to American. Most people around the word , whose native language is not English, would never agree with this concept. For example it would be very offensive in Spanish to refer to the gay community as la comunidad de maricones.

[quote]it would be very offensive in Spanish to refer to the gay community as la comunidad de maricones

Spanish drag performers and Almodovar disagree.

It’s not a community that I’m part of, not that wants me to be part of it.

Gay or homosexual, but not queer. It’s too vague.

My English grandmother would use the word to mean curious or unexpected. Gay was used to mean happy, pleasant or congenial. I do take some offense because being gay is perfectly normal.

[quote]I do take some offense because being gay is perfectly normal.

No, it's not, actually. It's a small minority in every recorded country and culture.

But that doesn't make it wrong.

R22 they use it in comedy only.

No, I couldn't give a fuck.

Sick of people trying to police others. If you don't like the word, don't use it, no one will tell you to. But don't tell others they shouldn't use it if they want to.

For all the idiots that think that gay (homosexual) is from gay (happy) when it’s actually from gay (prostitute) please read.

Separately - can this topic be moved down to twice yearly rather than every second day? I stg.

They can use it, no problem, but when you use it “officially”, even on research papers in academia and in the media, there is an issue. Even more so when straights still use this word to mean freak and deviant as a slur.

For instance , we do not see the n word used in academia or social media to refer to the black community.

The English speaking word is very weird. My spanish speaking gay friends, ask me what that word means, and when I tell them its meaning they are baffled like what?!!! No way!!

No.

And only a few decades ago, 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 used to describe homosexuals were offensive, or were originally intended to be. We've mostly reclaimed them.

Those who stridently carry on about the word 'queer' are simply trying to sow division, to create an uproar where there shouldn't be..

I personally dislike the term “queer” it reinforces the idea that gays are odd and straights are the norm.

I also don’t like being lumped in with other groups. I’m not a lesbian, I’m not trans. I am GAY.

I don't love the word queer. When I was growing up in the south and before I came out. I use to hear people ask if this person or that person was a "quee-uh". And a certain part of downtown was where too many "quee-ahs" hung out. I remember being asked if I was queer before I got better at blending in. For me, the term "gay man" is great. I don't need a bunch of other ways to say it. Homosexual is fine but feels a bit Kinsey-ish. Gay/Straight works perfectly for what I need. But I can live with queer too. I am certainly not offended in any way by hearing it.

The word queer, like the word Latinx, will never be adopted by Spanish speakers. We do not have the culture of using words with negative connotations to convey a positive meaning. It is a cultural and linguistic matter.

Gay was accepted because the translation is happy and that positive meaning reflects on the character of the whole community as we look to embody and represent the positive connections to that word in our subconscious.

Yes, because the boys called me that when they used to corner me in the grammar school yard after classes back in the 1960s, swatting my large butt with willow tree and bamboo switches.

Yes I am offended. And no I do not have pink hair and have public meltdowns.

[quote] I remember that the word queer was never used in the gay community in the 90’s.

Honey, the 90s were a full 25 years ago.

Times change.

Ask black American's how they feel about n*****.

Queer had the same connotation for many years.

What really bothers me, is today, queer no longer equals gay or lesbian. It it used by teenagers who are bored with their lives, want to annoy their parents, and hope to appear different or attract Instagram followers by being "unique".

Offended - no.

Irritated - oh, hell yes.

[quote]What is the real agenda and purpose behind this word to describe gay men now?

The erasure of gay men and forced affiliation with the rest of the rainbow coalition with whom we have few, if any, aligned goals anymore.

I thought that the 90s was actually the time when people first tried to rehabilitate “queer”?? OP obviously didn’t get used to it.

Growing up in an era when being queer could result in getting fired, beaten up or murdered with little or no support from the legal system, the word queer still makes me a bit uncomfortable. But, I understand the need to reclaim a negative word.

Google “Queers for Palestine” on google translate and see the translation in Spanish. The translation is Maricas for Palestina. Marica means Faggot and is a very offensive word that no tv channel or radio station ever dare to say.

So the word queer is being translated as a highly offensive word in Spanish.

R40, the 1990s were the era of "Queer Theory", when pretentious, c-list lesbian and gay academics (who now identify as "queer") were trying to argue that homosexuality is a social construct. It went hand-in-hand with nonsense such as Judith Butler's gender gibberish.

To me, queer has come to mean annoying, attention seeking whiners who change their gender and sexual preferences on a whim. It has rendered language absurd.

I’m gay. I like men with cocks. Big ones.

Yes, because these days it means the gender and trans crap. (I'm not offended because of its offensive history to be clear.) I want nothing to do with that nonsense and thus refuse to be called queer these days. I'm gay.

I prefer odd.

Queer is fine for in-groups if that's what they decide to call themselves to be separate from supposedly conventional heterosexual people. It has become a code word for a certain type of person who place a high value on being apart from the mainstream in a particular way.

Using it in ordinary general speech is not offensive, but it's too vague and lumps together too many groups that have nothing in common but not identifying as straight (even if they are, in fact, heterosexual). It's a meaningless vogue word and instantly identifies anyone who uses it in a supposedly serious context as non-serious.

I find it offensive because I an old enough to have experienced it as a vicious insult designed to intimidate and denigrate me.

I dislike it, but it seems to be the current thing so I deal with it. I far prefer gay as it is more specific.

Queer also has or had another meaning - defective, faulty, not functioning as expected, which is another reason I'm not keen on it

r3, r5 and r7 already said it for me.

Only if someone was to call me 'queer' as an epithet. Thankfully in 71 years of life no one has ever done that.

Sometimes you just have to laugh at the excesses of queer culture. This is no parody: the Journal of Critical Dietetics published an article in July with the following title and synopsis:

Pup Philms for Nutritional Counseling: Exploring Body Image among Gay, Bi, Trans, and Queer Men Engaging in Pup Play using Cellphilms

Abstract The aim of this research was to explore body image and well-being within the pup community for gay, bisexual, trans, and queer (GBTQ) men in Canada. Data was collected through cellphilming methods (production of short films by participants using their cellphones) and workshops from seventeen self-identifying GBTQ pups. Transcripts were analyzed through discourse analysis. Three discursive considerations were noted: 1) (re)defining sexual bodies, 2) wearing the pup hood, and 3) rejecting gender and gender norms. Implications for nutritional counselors working in the areas of body image are discussed.

Yes. I was called queer as a kid, along with every other epithet. It’s clear that its meaning is very different today, for folks in younger generations. But it will never be a neutral word for me.

I will not be told how to define myself by obese, blue haired fools.

It's not my favorite but it sure beats being called a Queef

Queerest of the queer

I can understand why someone would hate the word "queer" but I don't understand the constant feeling of persecution some old gay men have simply because other people are using the word. Is there an epidemic of gay men being called queer after they asked the person to call them gay instead?

It's not offensive to me if that's the word someone uses to describe themselves or me, but 'gay' is what follows "I am."

R57 gays in other non English speaking cultures are having a hard time accepting the word queer given is negative connotations.

While it is normal and perhaps even acceptable to claim and appropriate negative and offensive slurs given to gays by homophobes in English speaking countries, in the vast majority of cultures that is simply unacceptable.

I HATE it! Why am I now lumped with the trannies and they/thems!

I also hate it specifically because ALL straight people use it now 100% of the time when officially referring to GAY people. They have codified it so thoroughly and mindlessly without knowing that calling a gay person "queer" without their prior consent is like referring to a black person with the N word without their consent.

I really think it is annoying, offensive and wrong.

[quote] So the word queer is being translated as a highly offensive word in Spanish.

What's your point? That has nothing to do with whether or not "queer" is offensive in English. They could have easily translated "Gay Men for Palestine" in the same way.

[quote] I really think it is annoying, offensive and wrong.

[italic]Shockingly[/italic] wrong!

Yes. I don’t like being labeled queer.

No I don't use it, I hate the word "queer" because it feels completely stripped of sexuality. Seems like today's young people seem to use queer because they’re uncomfortable with the rawness of gay sex - cock, ass, cum, etc. To me, "gay" is about the sweat, the masculinity, the physical connection between men. "Queer" just feels like some fluffy, sanitized rainbow concept, detached from the reality of being a sexual gay man. That’s why I’ll never use it.

[quote]To me, "gay" is about the sweat, the masculinity, the physical connection between men. "Queer" just feels like some fluffy, sanitized rainbow concept, detached from the reality of being a sexual gay man. That’s why I’ll never use it.

Before it meant "homosexual," "gay" meant "lighthearted and carefree." It had absolutely nothing to do before with "the sweat, the masculinity." You're just importing those meanings into it because you were born at a particular moment in time--not because the words inherently hold the meanings you're giving to them.

Meanings of words change, especially when it comes to identity politics.

It's not just a matter of preference. On average, people who claim to be "queer" have higher rates of mental illness, disability and trauma. Men who say they are "gay" are just same-sex attracted dudes.

"Queer" does tend to conjure up a lot of unwanted images, though.

Only if the hets use it.

[quote] On average, people who claim to be "queer" have higher rates of mental illness, disability and trauma.

Give us a link, or you're just talking out of your ass.

"Queer" is also associated with mediocity-laden, ephemeral cultural output, including the "powerful and joyous" play "I, Joan," in which Joan is non-binary and consequently uses they/them pronouns:

Poster children for "queer":

Is OP's pollyanna a part of cosplay or is he really low information.

taking the question at face value and honest - queer does not mean just gay. It means EVERYTHING that is not straight, and also straight but not conventional straight. The word was rehabilitated during the peak of identity politics . In the old days it was a slur to mean "fag" but it was also a descriptive word that meant "other" or unusual".

I don't like its rehabilitation and being applied to heterosexual people who declare themselves "queer". But I am 62 and I don't make the rules.

R72 then what is its translation in Spanish or French? I’m pretty sure the translation is “gay”. Right?

So, basically the word queer is used in English speaking countries to bring transgenders and gays together, as a attempt to unify them into one same identity. Almost as when gays are referred by the media as lgbtq+, like are you an lgbtq+? Rather than are you gay?

They demand that everyone respect their pronouns but won’t repeat people who don’t want to be called queer?

The entire queer thing was decided upon by a bunch of dumb academics in the early 2010s. I still remember HuffPo’s letter as to why they were changing their Gay Voices section to Queer Voices. Queer is used to blur the line between gay and trans. It’s a scam.

I'm not easily offended

I agree with R7...it's pretentious. I'm in academia and pretension abounds around "Queer Theory." Much like "Queer Theory" academics say or write "assigned at birth," when describing the sex of a person. It's all rather pretentious nowadays.

I grew up (I'm 61) hiring "queer" used pejoratively, so I don't like the term, but I'm not offended by its use.But context is everything. I don't use it to identify myself. I'm a gay man. It frightens and angers me when I'm called a "f*ggot" or a "groomer." "Queer" can still be used in hatred towards me

Only you ancient DL Queers are "offended"

R73 no, "basically" NOT what you wrote. Because in English speaking culture, QUEER means straight people who identify as queer. It doesn't just bring in trans. It brings in heterosexual and questioning and any sparkle pony of ANY identity who says they are queer.

Got it?

It most definitely does not JUST mean "gay".

Not offended. Just don’t use it.

Look at it this way, OP:

38% of Brown students are queer. 38% of Brown students are not gay and lesbian. 38% of Brown students are sparkle ponies who want to identify as LGBTQRSTUV QUEER+ because it's in the zeitgeist.

I say this as Brown grad.

“It could be that students at elite schools are more inclined to be obsessed with social acceptance and professional advancement, and … profess an LGBTQ identity to indicate their political beliefs on a campus that leans left,” she added.

At schools for which historical data is available, the proportion of students who are not straight is skyrocketing. Brown jumped from 14% in 2010 up to 38% this year.

Some 29% of Yale’s class of 2023 identified as something other than heterosexual when they were surveyed as freshmen in 2019. That’s up from just 15% of the class of 2020 when they were asked by the school paper in 2016.

More than a third of seniors graduating from Princeton this year identified as not heterosexual.

And the proportion of LGBTQ+ students at Harvard tripled over the last decade, from 10% of incoming freshmen in 2013 to 29% in 2021.

The most recent data from Cornell comes from 2017, when 21.4% of freshmen were LGBTQ+. The University of Pennsylvania is an outlier, at just 15% as of 2022.

The most offensive rhetoric in today's pop culture discourse remains the following phrase:

" I'm Offended"

Queer is a far left sociopolitical movement. It very rarely points to same sex attraction. I’m not offended by the word but it doesn’t apply to me.

The association with all of the mental illness letters after the B is much more offensive.

Words and language are designed to have meaning in order to communicate. There is no clear definition for Queer.

There is nothing special or unique about being queer when it's a catch-all.

I, for one, am tired of all the ambiguous and wishy-washy people being attached to the LGB community. There's nothing wrong with the words gay, lesbian or homosexual.

R85 Fail Mary.

The word “Gay" seems to have its origins around the 12th century in England, derived from the Old French word ‘gai’, which in turn was probably derived from a Germanic word, though that isn’t completely known. The word’s original meaning meant something to the effect of “joyful”, “carefree”, “full of mirth”, or “bright and showy”.

Fast-forward to the 19th century and the word gay referred to a woman who was a prostitute and a Gay man was someone who slept with a lot of women (ironically enough), often prostitutes. Also at this time, the phrase “gay it” meant to have sex.

Around the 1920s and 1930s, however, the word started to have a new meaning. In terms of the sexual meaning of the word, a “gay man” no longer just meant a man who had sex with a lot of women, but now started to refer to men who had sex with other men. There was also another word “gey cat” at this time which meant a homosexual boy.

By 1955, the word gay now officially acquired the new added definition of meaning homosexual males. Gay men themselves seem to have been behind the driving thrust for this new definition as they felt (and many still do), that “homosexual” is much too clinical, sounding like a disorder. As such, it was common amongst the gay community to refer to one another as “Gay” decades before this was a commonly known definition .

It wasn’t until the 1980s uring th AIDS era that “Gay” had developed a pejorative meaning. In the 80s and 90s, “that’s Gay” had cemented itself as a generic insult amongst youths. Rather than saying something “sucked” or was “lame,” people used the word "so Gay.”

I think we should revive fruit and dyke.

If you are too old and thick to understand that in a living language the meaning of words evolve and change then you are a :

Dictionary Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more dolt /dōlt/ noun a stupid person.

^the meaning of which has not changed.

Oh please - stop being such a school marm. Yes everyone knows the meaning of words can change - and R86 - Gay absolutely WAS used as an insult before AIDS.

The difference is that we know what gay and lesbian and homosexual mean - that hasn't changed for over 50 years.

Queer is not defined. The lack of precision with language makes it confusing and nonsensical.

There shouldn't be any confusion about what gay, lesbian and homosexual are. Substituting Queer for it is unnecessary. And I am pissed off that STRAIGHT people and all other non-committal people who want to feel special calls themselves Queer and thereby associate with us. Being an ally is fine. But you aren't a member for the LGB community.

R89 gramps triggered

How long before they announce that we’ve reclaimed “faggot”? You know it’s coming.

DYKE went out of style, did I get a memo?

Some "trans boys" are already calling themselves the F word. This piece of writing has blurbs from Samuel R. Delany and Edmund White, no less:

[quote]To the queens, the bitches, the he-shes, the not-mes, the runway reading divas, tumbling backroom baristas, swishy sissy sisters… and, of course… to all those f*****s… who are afraid… of me.

CONTENT WARNING: ANTI-GAY SLURS

R90 desperately going with the herd and not thinking for themselves.

I've been called a "queer", albeit many years ago back in the 70s and 80s. Then, it was highly offensive.

R94 you herd is going extinct dear.

Queer has always felt to me like an attempt to group everyone who's not straight together and I find this to be a pointless exercise.

R95 BEARKING : It's 2024

One prefers the more subtle designation of one's youth : Musical

I'm in my early 60s and have always been skeptical and a bit standoffish about the rise of Queer identity as an umbrella label. And have felt that trans people were a bit de trop, with their stridency and rewriting of history and the identity of historical figures. However the visionary, compassionate and fearless advocacy by trans and queer human rights activists to support the Palestinians of color and stop the colonialist genocide in Gaza have shown me that we really need trans and all QUEERS to show us gays and lesbians what true leadership and bravery is, in the 21st century.

They always go overboard with their (terrible) writing:

[quote]Matthew D. Blanchard, “QHereKidSF,” born and bred a White Trash Euromutt Slut American, escaped the closets of Conservative Virginia only to be embraced by a “GAY MECCA” of wanton, woebegone whores and hustlers. The life this queer kid has led since arriving in the Bay Area in 2002—a life predominated by “party n’ play”—contrasts concretely with his former life as thespian erudite. However, with drug dependency, disease and disfigurement have come the recovery, reconstruction and resilience of his last-ditch, last-chance life. Today, Matthew is grateful for God’s boundless faith in his purely imperfect, human desire for beautification & self betterment.

"the visionary, compassionate and fearless advocacy by trans and queer human rights activists to support the Palestinians of color and stop the colonialist genocide in Gaza"

What the fuck are you talking about? What have they done except yell down others - and not have a SINGLE DROP of impact on the situation? It's all performative and reactionary without knowing a damn thing about the history or Hamas. Not to mention, they would be KILLED in Palestine for being trans or queer.

You want to talk about fearless? How about the decades of gay and lesbian activists who risked their relationships, careers, housing for standing up for gay rights, gay marriage, and AIDS? THAT is fearless - REAL risk and consequences.

Interrupting speeches and gay pride parades while waving a Palestinian flag is not fearless - it's annoying, inappropriate and disrespectful. JFC

r102 is it hard going through life as a unable to spot satire?

I do not care for Queer. It feels like the product of niche agendas trying to hijack something for their own gain, while dragging others down with them, potentially. To me, trans and gender non-binary is something different, even unrelated to, gays and lesbians. I don't necessarily want to be grouped with them. In part, that is what the attempt is, to group us all in the greater public consciousness as one thing. But, in my opinion, we're very different things.

[quote] Words and language are designed to have meaning in order to communicate. There is no clear definition for Queer.

I can’t believe you would not know that language requires both words that are specific and words that are non specific. The usefulness of queer is just that, it’s a vague catch all and generally means “not straight”. The reason people use it to describe groups of LGBT+ people is because it is single syllable (so much easier than the 5 syllable LGBT+) and is intended to be generally inclusive enough so as not to cause offense to any member. Of course you guys are such fucking victims that you’d be offended by the most benign thing in the world.

It’s funny, how you all are so upset by this terminology, when for decades you were fine with everyone else being lumped under “gay” rights. The reason you weren’t bothered by that is because you as the majority got special treatment, and you didn’t even consider anyone else’s perspective. And now you’re actively getting offended by people trying to be considerate of other people that aren’t you exclusively. It’s funny.

What civil rights have been denied to heterosexuals who are queer?

[quote] How long before they announce that we’ve reclaimed “faggot”? You know it’s coming.

I think it was around 15 - 30 years ago R91. Here’s an article from 2003 about its history even at that point. How do you people not know any of this stuff it’s just bizarre. Do you not talk to other gay people?

R105 - oh shut the fuck up. There are tons of 'queer' people who are straight - there's been countless threads with links to articles.

What other groups are there in the gay movement? It's Gay and Lesbian. Everybody else is just hangers-on, confused, or want to be special for their made up bullshit.

Give me a list of words that are not specific - I'm talking about not having a definition. Not pronouns like 'them' or you all or 'people'.

We are talking about a SPECIFIC group - which used to be LGB. You sound dumb.

And R105 - I would LOVE for you to tell us what special treatment and privileges gays got in the 80's, 90's and even today over others. By our OWN institutions that gays and lesbians fucking built.

Offensive bullshit.

A Yale lecture on Queer Performativity:

[quote] There are tons of 'queer' people who are straight - there's been countless threads with links to articles.

Never once in my life have I (in real life) met a person that identified as queer that didn’t have some sort of non straight sexual experience. “Countless threads with links to articles” do you understand how meaningless that phrase is. I’m sure these people exist, but in a real world sense, not in any significant way sorry. You people time and again admit how your entire worldview is controlled by the media you consume online, revealing how easy you are to manipulate, and you don’t even get how fucking stupid that makes you.

[quote] Give me a list of words that are not specific

Oh girl. There are enormous quantites of words that are non specific and used when the person using them wants to be vague, again how do you not know this R108. Things, stuff, guys, before, later, tbd, soon, might, multi, relatives, could, would, or, etc etc etc etc etc.

[quote] It's Gay and Lesbian. Everybody else is just hangers-on, confused, or want to be special for their made up bullshit.

[quote] LGB

😂

teafucktard strikes again.

R111 - so you got nothing to back up your statements - just childish bullshit and an emoji.

Again - try to keep to the topic. How is 'queer' an acceptable terminology that you admit is vague for a specific group of people - LGB?

You've got nothing dude. You just blindly accept anything thrown at you because someone told you to.

Answer the questions - what special treatment were gays and lesbians given using the term LGB? What groups were offended? They were offended because they didn't fall into LGB but wanted to be included in part of that group?

R104 I did not care for Mr Heath Ledger as the Joker.

R113 I answered your dumb as fuck question directly. If you can’t understand the answer that’s not my problem.

Queer is useful when describing someone that isn’t straight. I’ve already answered this. Even the term you’ve used “LGB” has a degree of vagueness to it. If someone says “I’m LGB” they could be either gay, lesbian or bisexual” it doesn’t specify which. Rather than if they were to say “I’m bisexual” and that’s more specific. I think you should jump on the nearest school bus tomorrow.

[quote] Answer the questions - what special treatment were gays and lesbians given using the term LGB? What groups were offended?

Oh lord. To give you a real world example, a lesbian friend of mine never liked the term “gay rights” because she felt it emphasized gay men as the primary focus of the advancement of LGBT rights. Is that enough for you? Like I said before, this obviously never occurred to you because you’re a gay man so why would it? Try to think beyond your own perspective. And log off and go outside! I think it will benefit you x.

R103 are you SURE that R100 is satire? I have seen stupider shit written here in all seriousness.

I mean I hope you are right, that it is satire, but sadly somebody could have got to their early 60's and still be this stupid, there are people this divorced from reality

Wouldn't be surprised if you prissy antediluvian Queers wanted to bring back Middle English.

8fairy I wrote that satire. Thank for the compliment that it's so real. That's my brand of satire. Still, I think there are several tells in word choice.

[quote]Never once in my life have I (in real life) met a person that identified as queer that didn’t have some sort of non straight sexual experience.

I take it you're more than 10 years out of college.

R115 - bullshit. How is Lesbian Gay or Bisexual vague? Dude - do you even hear yourself? But here's the thing - Queer does NOT just mean LGB, it's been thrown around as an umbrella for everyone. LGB is not vague - Queer is vague. Again, we're using words here to describe people. If Queer actually meant LGB, there wouldn't be a discussion.

As far as lesbians having a problem with the word gay - that's on them. Gay is not for men only. Many women call themselves gay women as well as lesbian. Besides Lesbian was already there - and put to the front of LGB decades ago to address the issue.

Now you're just making shit up to defend your unproven statements. No one was offended with LGB and Gays (men and women) did not get special treatment.

All this tut-tutting about "precision of language" "correct usage" "politicizaton of labels" "woke speak" is all just obvious lipstick on your pig. The hog in the room being : Gits Don't Do Change.

R121 you're an ugly communicator.

R120 wow you’re dumb. I’m gonna spell this out for you below. When referring to the identity of a person:

Gay man = gay man (specific) Lesbian = lesbian (specific) Bisexual = bisexual (either man or woman, small degree of vagueness) LGB = gay man, lesbian woman or bisexual man or woman (kind of vague) Queer = anyone that is not straight (very vague with one identifiable degree of specificity (the person in question is not straight)

You are objectively wrong. We also don’t need to keep going around on this, save your remaining brain cells.

R123 - YOU made the difference, saying gay man - not 'gay'. You are the one putting the word 'gay' only on to men. You didn't notice you did that?

And how is LGB kind of vague? You're making this up in your own head.

Plus 'queer' is an offensive term - not only was it used as a slur for decades, it still also means 'strange' or 'odd'. Nope - I'm not taking on an offensive term to describe me so that others who have never slept with someone of the same sex or been in a relationship with someone of the same sex can feel 'included'.

Just because people can find other people attractive, it doesn't mean that they are gay, lesbian or bisexual. We've opened up the tent to too many and it has completely watered down our community AND aligned ourselves with actions/rights that have NOTHING to do with us.

And the result? Studies have shown acceptance of G/L issues and community has fallen in the last few years.

Gay means "cheerful and carefree. " I'm GAY. Gay as Springtime!

R124 if you knew anything about gay history you’d know that gay for homosexual did not derive from gay as in cheerful, rather it came from the use of gay to mean prostitute or deviant.

Gay was also used as a slur for decades. What now?

[quote] And how is LGB kind of vague? You're making this up in your own head.

I described exactly how it is vague. Go back to Reddit. You’re exactly what’s wrong with this forum, intellectually deficient and proud of it.

I have zero issue with the word. But I just don't know what it means.

If it was just the reclamation of what once was a gay insult? And it only meant gay? I'd be fine with it.

If it was just a word meaning different? I'd be fine with it.

But it's sometimes meant as gay. Sometimes meant as trans. Sometimes meant as bi. Sometimes meant as weird. Sometimes meant as blue haired. Sometimes meant as an ally. Sometimes meant as artistic. Sometimes meant as progressive. Etc.

And we already have words for all those individual constructs anyway. So I'd just rather use words that have a higher degree of specificity attached so I know who or what someone is actually talking about.

I am very supportive of simply identifying as you identify. Lumping us all together like crab meat helps no one.

Queer? NO, NO NO. Stop using that horrible word.

I'm not some 16-year old, blue-haired, nonbinary, trans, questioning, pansexual, oddball, weirdo. I'm Gay.

With all due respect to Trans people and other people with body dysmorphia, please go find your own group. You don't fit into the group who identify as Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual.

Plus, I'm not using some offensive, harmful, ridiculous "queer" oddball label with a violent past to identify myself.

Not offended. I just don't really feel it fits where I'm at in life.

The one time it does kinda irk me, though, is where something is just plain "gay" -- something like a film or book where the main characters are obviously two gay men -- yet it's referred to as a queer project in reviews or feature articles about it. Makes no sense. .. Some reports just did that when Joaquin Phoenix recently quit the Todd Haynes film, and the abandoned project was referred to as a "queer NC-17 film." Additionally strange, because that film was a period piece taking place when "queer" would have been derogatory.

R130: Usually, it's "LGBT film," "LGBT performers," etc.

R118 thank you, I am a little relieved, one less lunatic on these boards

And yes, you're GOOD. You are a master at it

Geezer's who insist they alone control how others self identify are crypto- fascists and should move to Moscow.

The younger queer communities in Europe have been using this word more recently as a coverall for everyone under the LGBT+ umbrella. They do not think of it as a slur.

It is also considered by many a more respectful way of addressing LGBT+ individuals, especially those who do not feel it necessary to self identify. Queer is a way for them to say 'I am part of the community, but it is none of your business which part I specifically identify with'.

How wonderful for sparkle pony heteros that nobody will question why they are part of the lesbian, gay, and bi community!

Will they still be queer when gay and lesbian civil rights are taken away? Anyone who is queer won't have the right to marry? Adopt? Equal opportunity in employment? Serve in the military?

Stick "queer" up your non-binary ass.

I have a younger male friend, 29 or 30, married 3 times to women, has many gay friends, says that beyond some minor and fleeting college experimentation and a couple platonic guy crushes he's entirely straight sexually (which fits with my observation). He and his new wife were asking me about the gay pride events in my city because they they visiting "and because we identify as queer."

He's a nice guy, but what a load of shit

To them it's a loose label meant to describe their attributes or personalities, like liking ASMR videos, or having the occasional ADHD or neuro-divergent trait, or liking travel and cats.

It's ridiculous to me that they identify as queer, no.less than if I were to identify as being in my late twenties (when I'm more than 2x that) because I have some friends that age; or that I identify as Italian even though I have no Italian ancestry, having never lived in Italy, and know only a smattering of Italian words. I might feel at ease with my younger friends because we've come to know each other well, but I'm certainly not a 20-something. I might feel at home in Italy because I love the place, but I'm not Italian.

Had he said "we enjoy going to gay pride events," fine. To say he identifies as queer is ridiculous and a bit insulting.

.

"Queer" is garbage.

It won't last long.

I identify as a gay man. I'm not so much offended by Queer as I find it cringe-worthy. It brings to mind either some vile swishy stereotypes of gay men OR 21st century fat chicks trying to be less basic. That being said, if anyone feels discriminated against and outcast, and including me under the identity 'queer' makes you feels less alone... then have at it.

[quote]especially those who do not feel it necessary to self identify. Queer is a way for them to say 'I am part of the community, but it is none of your business which part I specifically identify with'.

Most of them would be lucky if anyone cared.

Queer blows. Spit it out and stomp on it.

No, OP, it doesn't bother me.

Yes, I'm offended. Stay the fuck away from me with that word.

Doesn't bother me. It is the intensions behind how it is used that bother me. But, the word itself is fine.

I'm pretty sure 'queer' isn't meant to mean lesbian, gay or bisexual. Otherwise, it wouldn't have a standalone letter in the acronym. I believe it refers to people who identify as non-binary or trans and are attracted to both genders as well as non-binary and trans people.

I also think those who once identified as lesbian and gay men but discovered they're attracted to trans people regardless of their genitals are now identifying as queer to make it clear that they are willing to be with trans people (i.e. aren't actually lesbians/gay men). Just a theory.

Yet heteros can identify as queer so that shoots to hell your tidy new definition of queer.

Well, that would be quite an appropriation, R145.

“Queer” used to mean just gay but maybe a certain kind of gay. Like the American artist, David Wojnarowicz, might’ve identified as queer because he was outside of the mainstream, an outlaw; hence, the use of the word by William S. Burroughs and the phrase from the early ‘90s to describe gay independent filmmakers output as “new queer cinema” or certain kinds of gay independent bands as “quire core” (or “homo core”).

It was a reclaiming of a homophobic slur as a cultural designation for people who were or felt outside the mainstream of gay culture. Or who weren’t interested in the mainstreaming of gay existence.

r146 What straight people who have a normal "gender identity" and only date the opposite sex are calling themselves queer?

Sounds completely made up R146. I've never come across a straight person who is straight and claims they're queer.

Tilda Swinton is very straight, r149.

Heterosexual actress Ella Hunt.

[quote]“I love the term queer,” she continued. “I don’t think it is specifically about sexuality, I see it as a mindset and feeling empowered in the bizarre and the strange sides of myself. I think queer is a beautiful word in that sense. It’s an attitude. That’s how I identify to my friends in New York.”

R149, there are also lots of heterosexuals who identify as trans and nonbinary who call themselves queer. Such heterosexuals are also part of the "LGBTQ+ community", which is the only other way lesbians and gay men seem to be permitted to refer to ourselves in public discourse these days. Haven't you noticed that news media, politicians, organisations, agencies, Pride, etc. no longer use the terms lesbian and gay (although they were always squeamish about lesbian) and only use the term LGBT or LGBTQ+? The more youth-oriented marketing is switching to "queer". Apparently, it's more "inclusive".

When was the last time you heard Pride being referred to as Gay Pride? The gays have been erased from Gay Pride and now it's all LGBTQ+ Pride and "proud to be me", which can mean anything. The switch has definitely been about trying to dilute homosexuality and shift towards the trans. Hence the LGB being lumbered with the TQ+. The Q addition for Queer was all about yoking the gays in with the trans and creating one big queer mishmash.

It's common to meet hetero college students identifying as queer. It has been explained to you upthread. This is not imaginary nor made up, etc.

Several of my corporate clients have started using queer in internal and external marketing communications in the past year or so, driven by the way younger employees and customers are referring to themselves. I can't speak for the actual sexuality of said employees and customers. Having to absorb the word into my lexicon was a bit jarring.

The “We’re here we’re queer” slogan (which I thought originated in the late 1980’s, but google tells me dates from the early 1990’s) is when the term was re-appropriated. And in that context it clearly meant gay men. So I think that it’s difficult to justify being offended by it. I respect that people might have a reaction to it if it was used against them in the past, but I don’t think it’s fair to hold it against someone if they use the term.

Classifying the word as offensive is different from objecting to its meaning being expanded. If am right about the history I could see an argument that it’s offensive for people who experimented a little in college to crowd themselves under an umbrella that originated during a crisis when gay men experience so much suffering.

[quote] Never once in my life have I (in real life) met a person that identified as queer that didn’t have some sort of non straight sexual experience.

My impression is that a lot of people identifying as queer have had NO sexual experiences. But I’m basing that on how unappealing many of them look and stats I’ve seen about how many virgins in their 20’s there are.

Q— mommy do all gay men spend all their free and work time constantly asking people if they should be called queer or not ?

A—-dear only those men without a life and of course all the men of the DL

The origins of the changes in use of the word "queer" are too complex, and it also has been co-opted by non-gay people to explain their dissonance, clown makeup and refusal to integrate themselves.

I don't care what other people call me. If a word is meant to be insulting it simply shows how low they are.

R155 thinks that ugly people don’t have sex

That is why the Glory Hole was invented. Have a long satisfying sex life while no longer having to see the people you are having sex with.

The slogan “We’re here we’re queer” was not how "queer" was "(re)appropriated". It was a silly, ironic slogan that was used because it rhymed. It's nothing to do with how gay people described themselves. The "(re)appropriation" of "queer" was the result of "queer theory", which sought to demonstrate how homosexuality is a social construct.

A poster on the Transgender Question thread read queer theorist Judith Butler's recent book "Who's Afraid of Gender?" and points out that Butler puts the word "homosexuality" in scare quotes throughout the book.

[quote]I also think those who once identified as lesbian and gay men but discovered they're attracted to trans people regardless of their genitals are now identifying as queer to make it clear that they are willing to be with trans people (i.e. aren't actually lesbians/gay men)

I think those might be known as "pansexuals."

*who are also, of course, part of the "queer community"

What do you call a gaggle of people m the world sees as queer , discussing and arguing about who is queer or not?

A day that ends in Y on the DL.

The article posted at R52 is a typical example of "idea-laundering" common in relatively new academic disciplines such as "Critical Nutrition Studies" and "Critical Dietetics" (Journal of Critical Dietetics, Out and Nourished: Queer Perspectives on Food, Nutrition, and Dietetics). It's the same people citing each other repeatedly to create a semblance of credibility.

[quote]...those who once identified as lesbian and gay men but discovered they're attracted to trans people regardless of their genitals...

What is the definition of the null set!

[quote]But I’m basing that on how unappealing many of them look

*polyam people have entered the chat*

My dear... I have no objection to ANYTHING.

[quote]Heterosexual actress Ella Hunt. “I love the term queer,” she continued. “I don’t think it is specifically about sexuality, I see it as a mindset and feeling empowered in the bizarre and the strange sides of myself. I think queer is a beautiful word in that sense. It’s an attitude. That’s how I identify to my friends in New York.”

Ella Hunt...stick it up your ass. "Queer" is an ugly, harmful, hurtful, insulting and derogatory word with a violent past.

The "Q" in LGBTQ meant "Questioning," not queer.

Just another thing that has been co-opted by this horrible word.

With LGBTQ...

The "T" and the "Q" and anyone else with body dysmorphia need to form their own group.

LGB ONLY.

[quote]Heterosexual actress Ella Hunt. “I love the term queer,” she continued. “I don’t think it is specifically about sexuality, I see it as a mindset and feeling empowered in the bizarre and the strange sides of myself. I think queer is a beautiful word in that sense. It’s an attitude. That’s how I identify to my friends in New York.

This is the direct influence of the writings of Judith Butler, David Halperin, and other academics working in Queer Studies: the idea that anyone who's non-normative in some way and challenges the hegemonic culture can rightly consider themselves queer. Music journalist Jon Savage, in his recent book on the influence of LGBTQ performers in pop music, specifically focuses on the "weird, artsy, straight misfits" who "might as well be queer."

Who...Who decides these things?? Who decoded on the worlds behalf to reclaim Queer? And have the louts who shout it at u, have they been educated on the change? Im sick and tired of an unelelted handful of people making such decisions. I dont want that word any where near me. We have to trace back to WHO fuckin decided this word was now ok. I bet theyre not over 40. ..and probably not male.

*unelected*

I'm Gay.

GTFO all you Qs.

The group who officially rehabilitated the word Queer were meeting on a private board on Zetaboards in 2005. Comprised of cross-dressing Illuminati who were frequent guests at Bilderberg, adjunct critical theory instructors at the former Seven Sisters, Performance Artists Annie Sprinkle and John Kelly, Camille Paglia and Noam Chomsky, Larry Gagosian and Larry Kramer, and André De Shields.

[quote]This is the direct influence of the writings of Judith Butler, David Halperin, and other academics working in Queer Studies: the idea that anyone who's non-normative in some way and challenges the hegemonic culture can rightly consider themselves queer. Music journalist Jon Savage, in his recent book on the influence of LGBTQ performers in pop music, specifically focuses on the "weird, artsy, straight misfits" who "might as well be queer."

Forgot to say that, while I love Jon Savage (a Northern English eldergay, a wonderful writer and journalist and a fabulous human being), in promoting this book ("The Secret Public," 2024) he did go out of his way to appeal to a straight readership, wanting to be as inclusive as possible in defining "queerness."

In current show biz, ALL casting directors, who are overwhelmingly straight, white females, with a strong preponderance of liberal Jewish women, now proudly use the word queer to mean all gay people. They use it as if they've been instructed to use this word and no others.

In many casting breakdowns such phrases as "the character identifies as male", "a female identifying character". It is all so insane. A bizarre number of projects are seeking "trans" and "non-binary" actors to play any character involved! Very few trans-identifying performers are "cast to pass" as their preferred gender and fool the audience, but it seems like it makes them all feel quite virtuous and progressive!

It’s interesting how native English speakers don’t agree on whether this word is offensive or not. Some can get offended, but it is mainly when straight men use it as a term to describe gay men that it elicits painful and negative feelings on gay mens psyche.

Just watched an episode of Homicide in which Pembleton and Bayliss notify a middle-class Baltimore father that his son has just been fatally gaybashed. "Queer" is the father's chosen epithet, which he screams a few times upon receiving the news.

[quote]it is mainly when straight men use it as a term to describe gay men that it elicits painful and negative feelings on gay mens psyche.

But that's the thing: as a term of insult, it's dated and has been for quite a while. As others have pointed out, its current use is as a catchall term for anyone who's "not straight" or has a non-normative sexuality (polyamory, kinksters, etc.). If gay men are offended, it might be because they want to be seen as their own group with its own specific characteristics and don't want to be slotted into the more nebulous "queer" category. Some also find the use of "LGBT" everywhere offensive.

I never use the LGBT term, or any of it's add ons.

I just say "Gay and Lesbian" because I rarely if ever am referring to anyone else in the current "queer" soup.

As far as I can tell, the main people who use the term 'queer' look like this person. In which case, they can have it. As long as this individual isn't calling themselves gay, lesbian, or bi, they. Can. Have. IT.

R7- It's like the average people who get tattoos because they think it's going to bestow them with

coolness

hipness

or

edginess

But it bestows none of those things. The only thing tattoos bestows those people with is AVERAGENESS .

It is not my first choice for myself, and I'll only use it for others if I hear them label themselves as such.

What really pisses me off is when straight people use it - like newscasters doing a story about the "Queer" community. Nope, keep that word out of your mouth, breeder. You don't get to reclaim a word that doesn't apply to you.

Honkies don't get to use the N word, and breeders don't get to use queer.

I love the word's power to so thoroughly trigger antitrans lunatics.

r185 is ruffled and confused when anyone has the temerity to disagree with him.

Opinions other than his own (tired) bromides are labeled "lunatics". How dare anyone not swallow the Gender Identity backwash!

There's a predictable tyranny to those who demand we agree that lopping off one's penis makes one a woman!

Queers Bi Trans and the ++++ are the bigger numbers now and continuing to rise in numbers and popularity, Gay men not so much .

Gay men are such a small % of the GLBTQ++++ community.. A niche conversation about something the world cares little about .

Ehh sometimes I’m a bit ambiguous with everything so, if I met someone who is similar and identifies as queer I would understand that. I’d interpret it as “not straight”. That said I don’t call myself that.

I'm old, I don't care what specific words other people choose nor why they choose them. I know who and what I am without them having anything to do with it. Such fragile little snowflakes, grow a spine, you might like it.

I am offended. If some asshole calls me queer, they better watch their back. While you're at it, I don't like being grouped in with the term LGBTQ. I don't like gay as I don't feel happy all the fucking time, but I'll live with it. I am homosexual and gay. I can't come up with anything better, definitely not presenter.

“better watch their back” r190

Someone calls you something you don’t like it’s always best to attack from the back where they don’t see or hear you coming .sneak attacks are safer

I realize others might find that a queer thing to do

yes im straight so anyone who calls me gay is getting a knuckle sandwich real quick