Let’s be the Clinton, Lewinsky scandal

I died of cancer and deserved it.

May the fascist OP emulate me soon.

I’m the spunk on that dirty mare’s dress.

I’m Betty Currie, looking the other way.

I'm Arkancide.

She’s not like you gay guys who always swallow.

It became a career high moment for me!

I'm probably the dumbest real estate speculation in history. Who the hell thought up Whitewater?

I'm rotting in Hell.

I am Cubicle Cunt From Hell Linda Tripp

I'm Linda Tripp's hottie son. I'm front and center at my mom's every shock-laden press conference.

The funniest thing I heard back then was when SHE was referred to as

MONICA BLEWCLINSKY

I'm Paula Jones' old nose.

I'm Brett Kavanaugh, busy composing the most lip-smackingly salacious Independent Counsel's report in US history.

I’m the presidential kneepads she premeditated.

I'm the cigar.

I'm all the crappy gifts Clinton gave Lewinsky.

I'm the cigar. I was molested.

POTUS is allowed all to eat all the pussy s/he wants or slam all the ass s/he wants, or both.

There is no scandal.

I'm Lucienne Goldberg, dead but still a MOFO .

or not...

I'm the "Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy"

I'm the tremendous exertion to find something, ANYTHING that will sink the Clintons once and for all.

I'm the OP and everybody else on this thread of Repug Scum.

Trump is circling the drain and we're grasping desperately at 25 year old faux scandals.

I think we can file this under campy/bored rather than Repub/malevolent

I'm the case of "Leaves of Grass" Bill Clinton kept in his office to give as parting gifts to each skank that sucked his curved cock.

I’m Weight Watches and SlimFast. We don’t work for these Pentagon gals.

I'm Socks the Cat, and I'm the only one affectionate to Bill after Hillary and Chelsea find out about Moan-ica.

I’m the Radio Shack tape recorder.

I’m the beret.

I am the sexual relations he didn't have with that woman.

I’m SNL having a fucking field day!

I'm the Secret Service agent assigned to Hillary's detail.

I am Vernon Jordan tryimg to find dingbat Monica a job to shut her up.

I'm Hillary. Thankful that I don't have to touch him again.

I'm absolutely nothing compared to what Dump has in store for us.

I'm Newsweek who refused to run the story. Now in my next post...

I'm the Drudge Report.

I'm chubby NBC Lisa Myers reporting about Clinton, and seeming to relish reporting about a man who would never in a million years be attracted to me.

I’m Ann Coulter chugging champagne while listening to the Tripp tapes.

Y'all are straight out of central casting

I'm Al Gore.

I'm Suddenly Susan.

I'm the "No more sigar jokes, we've had sufficient!" plea on DL in 1998

I'm Monica's mother.

I'm sorry I didn't teach my daughter the facts of life: there are girls guys fuck, and there are girls guys marry.

I also neglected to tell my daughter she was one of the former.

I'm Linda Tripp. If I had kept my big mouth shut and not gone blabbing to Lucianne Goldberg about an affair that was none of my business, this whole sad and ridiculous chapter in American history never would've happened.

I'm Bill Clinton. If I had some self-control and decorum none of this would have happened. I would have simply not let this happened and sullied the Oval Office, my name, and humiliate my family. I would have let this sordid affair linger and just passed on testifying in the Paula Jones case and let her win by default. I would have let the people believe that I was being impeached of an affair but over committing perjury. I should have followed Richard Nixon's example of manhood and resigned so the whole near pornographic incident didn't have to be lived through.

He shouldn't have resigned. He did nothing illegal. It was sleazy and unethical but not illegal.

There you go. Thinking he was impeached for the affair. HE WAS IMPEACHED FOR THE PERJURY.

r49 it depends on how you define "sexual relations." He and Lewinsky did not have penetrative intercourse, which is the standard definition, not oral copulation.

just like not inhaling right? Your twisted defense shows how low you have to go to defend a dirtbag like him.

Oh shut up r51. That stupid scandal was a waste of everyone's time and just showed how desperate Reupublicans were. For most of the American public it was ridiculous.

I’m the word “is.” This scandal is my 15 minutes!!

R51, are you as incensed about 1/6/21 as you are about 2 adults having a consensual sexual relationship?

I'm not incensed about a sexual affair between two adults. I think he was a sleaze bag and a perjurer who put the country through this mess because he couldn't keep his zipper zipped. I never got the defense of him. Other than political and I get that. To act like he did nothing wrong though is probably, in my eyes anyway, worse than what he did. He's a scumbag and it's more than just this instance. Of course you know that. Democrats, the party of women, how do you feel about the president getting sucked off by an intern at work? You're all a bit weird.

He made a stupid error in judgement but it was the Republicans who ran with it and held the country hostage for over a year. For most Americans it was total bullshit what they were doing.

R59, you and your warped priorities and faux moral outrage are so typically Republican. Are you sure you're not Ken Starr's rotting corpse come back to life?

I beleive he was evil but I also believe Paula Jones and Juanita Brodderick were liars.

The most unforgivable thing he did was foist Hillary on us.

I’m Hillary Clinton in the background of it all. Catching up on Dallas reruns that aired on TNT in the late nineties and wanting to be Sue Ellen throwing a glass at JR for locking her away in that sanitarium.

I can picture that. Swirling around a gin and tonic.

I'm the PIZZA!

I'm that dog Chelsea. The only one in the family who seemed to notice how embarrassed they should be.

Swirling around a gin and tonic and planning her next murder.

I'm John Goodman, who's better looking than the real Linda Tripp.

I'm the "deafening slience" (per Andrea Dworkin) from left-wing feminists on the Lewinsky case

I’m the cock sucking

There was no "deafening slience". They attacked Monica.

I’m the Gap Playlist that played while Monica bought that shitty blue dress. What was on ne.

Paging GapPlaylistsGuy

I should clarify. Both sides attacked her.

This is what Dworkin wrote back then:

[quote]"Bill Clinton's fixation on oral sex - non-reciprocal oral sex - consistently puts women in states of submission to him. It's the most fetishistic, heartless, cold sexual exchange that one could imagine."

[quote]I have a modest proposal. It will probably bring the FBI to my door. But I think that Hillary should shoot Bill and then President Gore should pardon her.

Andrea Fucking Dworkin r71? Really? The woman was batshit insane.

Yeah. As much as I feel for Monica I wouldn't want Dworkin on my side.

I thought it was much ado about nothing. The presidents sex life was none my business and no one else's either.

That's how most Americans thought at the time r74 but the Republicans wouldn't let it go. It was embarrassing for this country.

I’m Roxane Gay! I copied Dworkin’s shtick and made it my own.

r76 you're not too far off the mark. And amazingly, she's just as extremely physically unappealing as well.

Linda was a man, baby

I'm the reference to Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man."

I’m a Bloody Mary and two AA batteries.

I'm the unfortunate pictures of Hillary in a bathing suit.

I'm Tom Green who somewhat humanized Monica.

I'm the newly dubbed Oral Office

I'm the type of sex that isn't "sexual relations."

I'm Newt Gingrich calling out the immorality of the President while cheating on my second wife with my third wife.

in the White House R85?

I'm Paula Jones making it rain.

I'm the bent Presidential penis

No, R86, but possibly in a parked car in front of his kids and everybody else.

Did he perjure himself? R89

I'm the thong strap.

R85's message is clear: hypocrisy is hypocrisy. Gingrich was, fortunately, never viable as a Republican presidential candidate (being about as likeable as Ted Cruz), but this is how he tried to weasel his way out back in 2011:

I’m Deborah Norville making Paula Jones cry.

I'm the stain that Hillary and Bill will never be able to eradicate

I’m the hot cock. You just know it is.

R90 oh my you are tedious. This is post ta be a fun Lets Be thread. And you acting like a member of the GOP Congress from that era. Are you the OP? Because if so I’m gone.

I'm Hilary's anger at the SS for allowing the cock hog to have so much access to the President

I’m Bill Ginsberg.

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!”

I’m Bill’s glans, oversensitive because she’s still stroking it with her tongue despite having her mouth full of ejaculate — I’m telling Bill’s brain “YEOW enough is enough.”

I’m my father, calling his local Republican Committee to tell them he just changed his registration to Democrat because of this ridiculous “scandal”.

The Clinton scandal was when the gop went off the rails. For whatever reason, they got to a point where concession and bipartisanship were unbearable to them. Absolute power was a must. Was it Reagan letting in funding nutjobs?

I'm the cabaret performer whose career got a brief boost from the scandal

[Quote] I’m my father, calling his local Republican Committee to tell them he just changed his registration to Democrat because of this ridiculous “scandal”.

I'm Bill acting out his childhood sexual molestation.

I'm the ridiculous claim that Hillary had Vincent Foster killed

I’m blubby Beanie, bigger than Monica ever was.

I'M Lewinsky's superiors who transferred her from the White House to the Pentagon because she was spending too much time with Clinton.

I'm Lewinsky's clothing and personal effects which had been submitted to the Starr investigation that were put up for auction in 2013.

I’m Monica checking the Queen for stating that Jay “Monica Lewinskied on her gown”, in the New Orleans club classic Partition. Monica is actually right but rephrasing it using Bill’s name would not have worked rhythmically.

^^when are you going to OD? It's past time.

I'm shocked, scandalized and horrified at these salacious details. About Clinton.

I'm blasé, yawning and boys-will-be-boys. About DJT.

R110 You must have a brilliant life. Chuckle.

We’ve talked a lot about NAC blowing up, but we should also mention that William “Cam” Lipton, who has an Amazon show coming out, looks like this now.

Oops, wrong thread, sorry!

No, R90, but neither did Clinton, according to both Susan Webber Wright and the US Senate.

We're the 10 years later where what Monica did could have made her and her family rich and famous

We're the cookies Hillary's not baking and not being Tammy Wynette

I'm Hillary. Rolling up Vince Foster in a carpet.