Let’s be Americans

I’m the gun obsession.

I'm other people talking funny.

I’m fat feet in flip flops.

I'm the weather-beaten cut cocks. The texture of my glans is like those brown things in Gardettos.

I’m jeans.

I'm the added sugar.

I'm icewater.

I'm fucking loud.

And nasal.

I’m using the emergency room like a doctor’s office.

I’m being able to travel without the bizarre psychological dependence of having a kettle in the hotel room.

I’m voting for a guy with no political experience and who talks like a creep, because he was portrayed to be a brilliant businessman on the tv.

I'm shitty hot drinks, from over-engineered milk bomb Starbucks lattes to anemic bagged tea, steeped in spigot water from the Bunn-o-matic.

I'm the crippling medical bills from the insanely dysfunctional health system

I’m over.

R4, love me some cut cock. 🥰

I'm a highly political person who thinks my Democratic/Republican views on things apply to the rest of the world. If I'm obsessed with racial justice, Jesus, or whatever, the rest of the world should be too, even if it makes no sense to the country or people in question. Thank you and God Bless America.

I’m tipping because paying a proper living hourly wage is Socialism.

I'm the comparative lack of employee protections.

I'm the entitlement.

I'm the arrogance.

I'm the optimism.

I'm the ability to be the best in the world at teamwork when you cut the bullshit.

I'm the ability to speak only one language... poorly.

I'm NOTHING in moderation. I'm either a box of wine a night or judging my date for ordering a beer. I'm either racking up a $10,000 credit card bill binge-shopping on Amazon or throwing out everything I own to live in a tiny house. I'm either sucking down 24-piece chicken nuggets or doing a 21-day water fast.

I'm proud to be an American.

I have to drive everywhere, even if I'm going to a place 2 or 3 blocks away.

I'm the toddler tantrum at Target because they ran out of Krispy Kremes. How could they do that?

I'm high fructose corn syrup.

I’m the deeply rooted belief that things can and should be fair and just.

Unfortunately, sincere opinions on what is fair and just can be surprisingly disparate, even warped and self-serving.

I'm the taxpayer footing the bill for defense spending so the rest of the western world can be safe.

r17 perfectly written.

I'm the nose I stick in everyone's business.

I love to point out injustices all over the world, but refuse to acknowledge the ones in my own backyard.

I'm the friendliness that can be striking to visitors from abroad. Even unsettling. I'm the lack of boundaries, the limited sense of privacy and public decorum.

I'm the middle-aged (or older) sow in a too-short babydoll dress, showing off my fat hocks. Yes, I'm wearing strappy sandals despite my cankles.

I'm the Great White Savior showing people in Oaxaca the right way to do things by sticking my nose in their communities and throwing a bunch of money around. So what if I hardly speak any Spanish.

R17 could also be Sweden or any European country In fact, drop "Jesus" and R17 is more Nordic than American.

It's why Sweden had to renounce their support for Turkish separatists to gain entrance to NATO.

I'm the obsession with football.

I'm the 1950s when we Americans were thin and attractive.

I am strip malls.

I’m the exceptionalism.

I'm the puritanism. I am still outraged over Janet Jackson's Superbowl performance. What is this world coming to?!

[quote]I'm the friendliness that can be striking to visitors from abroad. Even unsettling.

And much of the time, I’m quite sincere. And yes, you are invited to come stay at our house even though I just met you, because that’s just what we do.

I may tote water bottles with me everywhere, not hold a passport, and if I do I only go to Cancun and Canada. If I travel further afield, I may wonder why everything is not like the United States. When abroad, I will make a beeline to McDonald's and Starbucks, rather than try an Imbiss, hole in the wall tapas bar, out of the way cafe, or a pub. Yet....

I belong to the friendliest national group of all and am willing to strike up conversations with anyone!

I am California, one state out of 50 with the 5th largest economy in the world. Larger than the UK, France, Italy, Japan, India and Russia.

I’m the USA USA USA chant

I am the Nobel Prize award, 4 times more than any other country in the world.

I'm the few things that are more important than money.

I am Hollywood, the entertainment capital of the world. Bollywood? Give me a break, riding our coat tails.

I’m the horrible food and the grocery stores that are ten times larger than in the rest of the world but with one-tenth the variety of food.

I am the drones everyone is afraid is spying on us because they are made in China. Also the iphone made in China that no one thinks is spying on us.

[quote]I’m being able to travel without the bizarre psychological dependence of having a kettle in the hotel room.

True enough...but I [bold]must carry a supply of washcloths[/bold] whenever I travel abroad. Conditions are so primitive abroad!

Flannels those kettle people call them!

I am the rockets made by the world's richest man that can land vertically on a platform in the middle of the ocean.

I am the bottom 50% IQ of our population who are even dumber that the rest of the world’s bottom 50%.

And I am also the top 5% who are smarter than the rest of the world’s top 5%. I’m what infuriates them about America more than the stupidity.

I’m the earrings

I’m the Caftans!

I am the full size washer and dryer in every American house while Europeans still use drying wracks from the 50's and keep the washing machine in the kitchen for the oddest of reasons.

[quote]I'm the friendliness that can be striking to visitors from abroad. Even unsettling. I'm the lack of boundaries, the limited sense of privacy and public decorum.

A striking and deceptive friendliness. Because I'm not your friend at all and never will be, because the only thing that's real about me saying that "we're going to be best friends forever and do everything together" is the profound need to appear friendly. In truth, counting my friends on my hands I barely need one hand, and barely one finger - and I don't like that friend that much either. I have my family, of course, not that we have anything more than a veneer of minimal tolerance and mutual nonaggression in common.

The time other people spend having friendships, I spend pretending to have them.

I’m 100 pounds overweight but am more concerned about how white my teeth are.

I am air conditioning in a typical family home the rest of the world thinks is an excessive luxury.

I am the glorious HVAC

I am a garbage disposal (InSinkErator) which is banned in most European countries.

I’m the black rifles

I am Karen

I have an enormous refrigerator stuffed to the gills, but I still eat fast food several times a week.

I’m the flag worship.

I'm the paradox of anti-intellectualism coexisting alongside the world's top-ranked colleges and universities.

Outdated R49. Most grocery stores carry a great selection these days.

I'm the need for micro-geographic specificity.

We're from Turin, Iowa, that's a small town in Monona County, now that's a small town right in in the middle if you drew a line midway between Sioux City and Omaha. Now Omaha, that's in Nebraska of course, but it's not too far over the state line -- even if it's a big city and a world apart!

But don't confuse Omaha, in Nebraska where we don't live, with Onawa in Nebraska - that's the seat of Monona County where we do live -- in Iowa, not Nebraska.

Do you know anything about our town of Turin? Maybe about our state fair? It's in August!

[Quote] I'm the obsession with football.

I’m the incredible irony of that statement when the international usage of the word is used.

[quote] I am the full size washer and dryer in every American house while Europeans still use drying wracks from the 50's and keep the washing machine in the kitchen for the oddest of reasons.

I am the disregard for wasteful water use, the ignorance of the fact that some homes were built more than one hundred years ago, and the enormous amount of land stolen from natives and the disregard for the environment that allows everyone to have a massive house

[quote]Europeans still use drying wracks from the 50's and keep the washing machine in the kitchen for the oddest of reasons.c

you might be surprised how many of us dwellers in big cities on the east coast have this too

I'm the thinly populated landscape - thinner than any other top ten country

Americans get shit on for being provincial and think the world should be like home but a lot of nationalities are just as bad. An old English bf would look for English pubs wherever he went. Spain? No little local tapas bar for him. He dragged me to a pub with loud, obnoxious British football fans. Same in Greece, San Diego, etc.

I'm kansas

I'm Boston

I'm Chicago!!!

I’m all that jazz!

I'm the extreme casualness of American hospitality and friendliness. I'm the foreigner who is confused and then a bit insulted when the friendly generous American host points to the ginormous refrigerator (or refrigerators - because most households have at least 2) and says with a big friendly smile "Help yourself to anything in the fridge". It's not polite and generous to expect a guest to serve himself, you see.

I wouldn't want to be anything else.

I wish people would stay in their own countries. We have had sufficient.

I'm the fatass land whale women in stretch pants

I’m the world’s largest prison system in the land of the free.

[quote]I am the full size washer and dryer in every American house while Europeans still use drying wracks from the 50's and keep the washing machine in the kitchen for the oddest of reasons.

R56 We have the full size washer and dryer in a separate laundry, but the dryer is hardly ever used. Those drying racks from the 50's are so much more efficient and do a better job especially if you can put the racks out in the sun. Easier on clothes too, and cost nothing to run

[quote]I am air conditioning in a typical family home the rest of the world thinks is an excessive luxury.

R59. We have that too. And HVAC is indeed glorious in a humid climate. Now I have it I wouldnt want to live without it - cheaper way to heat a house too than almost anything else. Its a necessity if you are a shift worker and going to try to sleep during the day

[quote]I am a garbage disposal (InSinkErator) which is banned in most European countries.

R61 Seriously? Those things are universal here, very unusual to see a home without one

[quote]Americans get shit on for being provincial and think the world should be like home but a lot of nationalities are just as bad.

R73 now this is SO true. I deal with Telco staff from around the world as a part of my job and my God if you think Americans are insular and ignorant of geography and the world they have nothing on the French! I have stories....

I'm the gatorade

I’m the Mountain Dew

I',m the water bottle

I'm American and never had a Mountain Dew. Isn't it a white trash/redneck thing? I still don't know what a Big Red is either.

I'm the deep-seated, collective need to create a "royal family" where no official royalty exists.

I'm the faux patriotism and the faux religious piety which is the hallmark of American society. Donald J. Trump is our spiritual leader.

Truth is, if every American who claims they are deeply religious showed up at church, we'd have to build twice as many churches to accommodate them all.

I am a cheese-like product.

I am Irish (no, I am not)

I am Italian (no I am not)

I am the American educational system, which—regardless of state, whether private or public—leaves everyone with an overwhelming need to be popular and rich. Our foreign policy is based on these needs.

Mountain Dew is a hillbilly thing.

I'm the need for workout clothes and specialty energy drinks while never leaving the the couch or the car.

I'm the self-loathing.

I'm the pick-up trucks festooned with massive American flags, just in case you forget where the fuck you are.

I’m the truck nuts

I’m the woke liberal commie Frau or Yassss Kween gay who hates America and patriotism because I can’t make it to the very top so I chose an alternative path and hate the system and anyone who did. I’m amazingly privileged but I wish it were more “global” here, so I vote to support open borders. Will I eventually be robbed or raped by a West African? Maybe, we’ll see. I think I’m so much better than those MAGA people. Go Mamala! I do anything to separate myself from my wood-paneled childhood, but I’m still trash by a different name.

I'm the dumb MAGAt who thinks it's patriotic to like Trump even though he incited an attack on our capitol which we all saw with our own eyes. There's even a wikipedia page devoted to how Trump tried to steal the election with fake electors but I own the word 'patriot'. I think the democrats support open boarders even though Trump himself tanked a reasonable bipartisan boarder bill for his own political gain. I hate the system more than anyone because I only listen to this one con man who's trying to confidence and faith in really any system that he and his family don't control. I think I'm pro democracy but I'm proudly voting for someone who will not concede a free and fair election.

[Quote] and the enormous amount of land stolen from natives

I’m the Europeans who got the ball rolling on that, just like the Europeans who planted slavery in the new world.

Now I piously invoke the natives and slaves as a stick to beat Americans with.

I'm the weak Euro

I’m the fully acceptable anti-white agenda, which is reminiscent of Nazi Germany.

R97 what are “open boarders”? Migrants who present hole?

I'm the supposed expertise on British culture. I've watched Keeping Up Appearances and Downton Abbey. I know what I'm talking about. No, I haven't been there.

R100 That's funny, tell another one!

I’m the gunts

border! whoops

I am Donald J. Trump -- only in America.

I am Don King, and that’s my line, son.

I'm the vast beautiful mown green lawns.

I'm R96 on this thread, and I suffer from chronic assholery.

My father still rues the day he bought those cheap condoms at the gas station.

[quote] I’m the Europeans who got the ball rolling on that, just like the Europeans who planted slavery in the new world. Now I piously invoke the natives and slaves as a stick to beat Americans with.

The point went pretty far over your head. The point isn't that Americans are unique in exploiting people--that would be silly. The point is that Americans pride themselves on things (their big houses, the enormous success of the American free enterprise system, God's blessing on their nation etc.) when in fact what makes these things possible is the fact that American has a vast amount of land and resources, and those things originally belonged to someone else. Nobody is saying the way you got these things is unique in its horribleness. Just don't pat yourself on the back about them.

R31 = Log Cabinette.

I’m Manifest Destiny, we didn’t invent taking but we are good at it.

I'm the umkempt, dilapidated house with a brand new Range Rover in the driveway.

R96 has got to be the reddit magat posting. He's appalled that DL, a gay forum, is so liberal. Derp de derp....

I'm the vote against my own interest.

I'm an idiot.

I'm religion, which the rest of the Western World has for the most part moved on from.

I’m the Americans that say they believe in god in polls just for good form, but also believe in ghosts and demons and guardian angels and Bigfoot. And don’t attend church.

[quote]anti-white agenda

There is no anti-white agenda, you dumbfuck Qtard.

We're R53's top 5%, and guess what, Trump? We're first generation Americans! Without us, you'd all have incurable cancer and be using 500-pound computers.

^^yes and no

I'm the "I don't have an accent".

I’m the “I don’t see race.”

I'm the mistaken notion that I'm a temporarily embarrassed millionaire.

[quote]R87: I'm American and never had a Mountain Dew. Isn't it a white trash/redneck thing? I still don't know what a Big Red is either.

[quote]R91: Mountain Dew is a hillbilly thing.

Mountain Dew is a Southern thing, and if you've never tried it in the past, you've kinda missed your opportunity. Part of Mountain Dew's original charm was the intense burning citrusy flavor supported by brominated vegetable oil, and that ceased to be an ingredient a few years back. Currently, Mountain Dew tastes rather flat from a carbonated standpoint, and somewhere between a Sprite and a 7up as far as flavor. No point in seeking it out now.

Big Red is a bright red vanilla cream soda, originally from Waco, Texas.

I’m the Frau with her bottled Evian water, constant calorie/carb counting, yoga stretchy pants and yet still always a biscuit away from being fat.

I've never had Mountain Dew either. It's for white trash.

I've never heard of Big Red.

I’m Cheerwine, the king of awful regional soft drinks.

I am JAZZ!

I am jazz hands!

I'm the RIDICULOUS OBSESSION with bacon, beer, and burgers.

I’m the indigestion.

I am the only western country with the death penalty.

Other countries which retain the death penalty include China, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, Somalia, Afghanistan and Syria.

"Only" in 27 states, R134.

I'm the insistence that I pronounce foreign words correctly!

Why yes, I'd love another serving of the delicious chicken VIN-DUH-LOO.

I am in the country full of people that would put boots on the ground for you if you were being attacked and are an ally. If you are not an ally and are fighting for freedom we will give you money and weapons so you can win.

I am all the social services, infracture improvements, affordable healthcare, that are being deprived of important funding because of r137.

I am "Amerika," the spelling that was briefly fashionable among left-wing, countercultural types in the late 1960s. See also: AmeriKKKa; Andrea Dworkin; second-wave feminism.

Of course, I'd rather be Count Chocula.

I’m the country full of people who eat overpriced restaurant food while mindlessly chattering about which other countries should be bombed and invaded next.

I am the many deluded people such as R137 and R138.

[Quote] while mindlessly chattering about which other countries should be bombed and invaded next.

I’m the people who enslaved most of the world, started two world wars which resulted in seventy five million deaths and putting the U.S. on top, and who then say things like “Americans bomb and invade a lot.”

Do Americans NOT bomb and invade a lot?

I’m all of the unseasoned white people food.

were is my second 'fridge?

Which countries would those be, R142?

To all you Eurotrash, at least we aren’t like Russians out raping cows.

In Russia cow rapes YOU

I'm deplorable.

Let's *not* be America-bashers! It wouldn't be my country of choice (except maybe if I could live in the Republic of Vermont), but a country that gave us the telephone, the electric telegraph, electric light, the cinema and the gramophone, the aeroplane, the airbrake for trains, the linotype machine, the sewing machine, the cotton gin, Saul Bellow, Eugene O'Neill, Tennessee Williams, Carson McCullors, David Lynch, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Edward Hopper, The Wizard of Oz, Midlake, and Sesame Street can't be all bad.

I'm the big girl squished into a vinyl-upholstered chair at Gate 2D of Detroit Metro airport; I'm reading Soap Opera Digest and drinking a Tab.

I'm the fat, lazy white guy who has lost yet another job due to my inability to control my temper. I'm sitting at home all day, playing Call of Duty on my playstation and relying on my wife for money. When my wife tells me she's met someone else, I go get one of my 10 guns and kill my kids first in front of her and then her. I might kill myself too, but often I'm too much of a chicken shit to do that so I'll just get arrested and tell everyone in prison that the bitch deserved it.

I’m the Cherokee ancestry I’m sure I have

I'll be the DRUG ADDICTS ARE VICTIMS, WHERE ARE THEIR FREE NEEDLES?

I’m hopefully not represented by troglodytes like R147.

[Quote] Do Americans NOT bomb and invade a lot?

America is a 70s guitar mass compared to Europe before it committed suicide.

And when it bombs and invades, who pays for it, and who reaps the freebie benefit?

I don’t know. Twenty years in Afghanistan was a lot.

A huge percentage of Americans did not agree with the Iraq war.

I'm the fit gym bodies and meticulous attention to personal hygiene.

I'm the cut dicks that don't have slime and smegma

r159, that only applies to gay men.

Personal hygiene in straight men is barely a thing. Most of them don't even wash their asses.

It also applies to straight men in America. Most straight American men shower regularly and are clean.

Love OP's post. Lolz

Who are you kidding R162?

Lots of Americans only shower 2-3 times a week.

None that I've ever known r164. Even blue collar guys are pretty clean.

R66 I know. My friend and I used to joke about that. But what really boils down to is that our suburban populations overwhelm our city populations while in every other country in the Western world it is the inverse.

😂😂 R165.

r167 maybe you need to get out more.

You have to remember that a good portion of DLers are eldergays who are still clinging to the world as it was in their long-ago youth. The blue collar men from their childhoods are the only straight men they ever really knew and all their opinions about straight men in 2024 come from there.

Hence, they believe straight men in 2024 are filthy unclean knuckle-dragging barbarians because that's all they know.

There’s a meme about guys thinking that washing your hole too carefully is “gay”.

R169 😆.

I’m the best beaches in the world.

Nice try trolls, but here a plenty of threads here where dlers themselves confessed to not shower everyday.

It really is amazing how out of touch many DLers are with the modern world. Their opinions of what all straight men are like come from decades ago.

Hilarious, R172!

r173 because they're old shut-ins. That's not unusual at all. The rest of humanity who are still out and participating in modern American society tend to shower regularly.

R150, Saul Bellow was born in Canada and did not become an American citizen until his 20s. Plus, his books are mostly awful.

I think that anybody who I disagree with is Eurotrash. Or a Russian working from a troll farm.

I am deeply, deeply stupid. Like R147.

I'm the obese 15 year old with blue hair that I only wash once per week. I'm also the piercings all over my lips, face and tongue and the obligatory septum piercing that makes me look like a bull. I might get a neck tat soon. When I'm 19, I'll go on tik tok and cry that I can't find a job and mom and dad want me to start paying rent. I will claim I have bipolar disorder or depression when what I really have is metabolic disease that, when I'm in my 40's will manifest into breast cancer or some other disease. I still won't want to lose weight because who really wants to exercise anyway? It's SO boring.

I'm the horror at men wearing speedos at the beach.

In all fairness r180 most men should not wear speedos.

americans do not wear speedos at the beach.

R57 is correct. There is no such thing as a friendly American - we merely appear that way to hold the world at arm's length.

It's like Japanese "politeness" or blasé Italians paying ugly old women endless compliments.

I’m the white kids who grew up in urban neighborhoods and were the minority. We’re not a huge group but our existence is uniquely American.

I'm the large population of educated, affluent, successful, middle-class and upper middle-class Black people many Europeans are ignorant about.

R185 Where are these people?

R143 I’m all the high blood pressure and diabetes. It seems like more of us persons of color need to season like bunz ass educated northeastern white folk 😆.

Hi KGT!

We are the Native Americans who still live here pissed you descendants of Euro Trash call this "my country" as an excuse to blame crime on the latest wave of " illegal immigrants" just like you were hundreds of years ago.

Thanks for the Smallpox blankets, hope you all get Covid.

R177: Bellow's "mostly awful" writing was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature (in 1976) back when that still meant something. He won a Pulitzer Prize that same year as well. At the risk of sounding like ChatGPT (but at least owning it), he is considered one of the towering figures of American literature in the second half of the twentieth century. I would say "mostly awful" is lazy and facile.

I’m the Latino population and up until the 90s most just called us “Spanish people.”

R186: Atlanta, for one. Chicago. Los Angeles. San Francisco. All across the East Coast. You only need to travel a bit. But some educated Blacks have also moved abroad: France, Spain, Japan, Argentina.

R192 I was joking I just get this impression this phenomenon was more common in the South and the East Coast. I didn’t see it as much in Chicago, there but not seemingly as much as other places. It’s definitely unique to the US wherever it is common.

I'm descended from a Cherokee Princess!

Our summers as a child were some combination of pool parties, scouts, summer camp, and playing in the one neighbor’s backyard you only got to visit once.

R192, don't forget Washington, DC, which as a long history of a local black elite and some of the richest majority-black suburbs in the country.

I'm the population of the USA. I'm closing in 337 million, so you can expect to find a lot of every kind of person within me.

I’m the AA meetings that I’ve been attending for over 30 years. I got drunk twice whilst a collage student and then one day a few years later I drank a whole bottle of wine at a friend’s wedding reception.

My name is Larry Jr. and I'm an alcoholic.

R193 you aren’t wrong. Relative to the population the most middle class blacks are in the southeast and midatlantic. Cities like Atlanta and DC not only have large populations of black middle, but also black people are the majority.

R179 unfortunately that phenomenon is hardly unique to the USA.

I'm from Omaha, but I spent a semester abroad in France. So I am qualified to judge Americans. I am OP.

I’m the prison rape jokes, even on DL.

I wear sweatpants and other athletic gear everywhere. I also take up more space than I need to, and talk louder than I need to. I'm also not interesting.

[quote][R179] unfortunately that phenomenon is hardly unique to the USA.

R200 Yeah we get 150-200 kg 15 year olds here down under too, and the blue hair and septum piercings are not uncommon either

[quote]I’m the prison rape jokes, even on DL.

R202 these are universal. I have seen these on forums all over the world, they are common down under, they almost certainly exist in other languages too, pretty much anywhere there are prisons

[quote] R179 unfortunately that phenomenon is hardly unique to the USA.

I'm R179 and so many others who think that the US is unique and exceptional in everything.

The rest of the world are primitives living in quaint thatched cottages, burning coal fires, wearing clothes of homespun and shoes carved of wood...

I'm r205 and I'm a fucking moron.

Actually R205 we usually think of the world as a desert with that yellow filter they used for Mexico on our amazing cop TV shows.

This is pretty funny.

Not to mention “pretty accurate”!

We're the educated, cultured, coastal Americans who laugh when Europeans who have never set foot in the US think the entire country is nothing but rednecks.

R210, they always do seem nonplussed when they realize such people exist.

That said, it isn't like US popular media overmuch bothers to portray such people.

R25 made me laugh. The diet thing especially - so many Americans (not all of course, but a lot) are just terrible at moderation. It's either YOLO 15,000 calorie "cheat"/binge days or, as you said, some extreme diet that MUST have a "hook" and must be doubled down upon while trying to follow it. "I'm only eating protein; fruit has carbs and therefore will kill me" (nevermind the nutrients and fiber).

r211 that's part of it. The media doesn't really bother much with the millions of "normal" Americans. Everybody loves a train wreck so the reality show/redneck types get most of the attention.

R210 the 20th century is over, bitch. All the cunts on the Cape and in the Hamptons are scrolling Facebook while getting drunk, just like the alleged trash. Those rednecks probably have a better work ethic and morals than any of the elitist trash you worship. A Chanel bag doesn’t make you a good person.

I don’t think most Europeans think of Americans rednecks. I know the generations pre social media generation were mostly influenced by television. Dukes of Hazzard? Rednecks wasn’t represented like that.

r214 you're completely ignorant.

I doubt the elitists carry Chanel. Too many hip hop trash types carry that shit.

I attended a Democrats Abroad Netherlands event with an American friend recently. Among the Americans we met there, educated, multilingual, well travelled, well informed, unobstrusive, and well assimilated professionals are the norm. One American guy told me he always wears a conservative dark suit whenever he travels, to blend in, and is consequently never mistaken for an American or other tourist and never harassed by street vendors, drug dealers, etc. It's a good one to keep in mind.

In my experience, Americans living in Europe long term tend to know the best places--often better than the locals. Some might get a little smug about living in Berlin or Barcelona at first, but that tends to wear off after a while.

R217 You sound like an idiot. So are they also ditching Gucci, Ralph Lauren, and Berkin too?

**I should add that many of the Democrats Abroad members have lived in the Netherlands for decades and have Dutch spouses/partners and half-Dutch children. But they'll always take an interest in U.S. politics as well, and many volunteer for DA (treasury, communications, voter registration, etc.).

R219 it’s never wise to call anyone an idiot when you can’t spell.

Blackmussy is Teacake. We're all just waiting for him to finally OD.

Teacup is an idiot. Its black cosplay is ridiculous. Remember when it pretended to be a lesbian?

[quote]We're the educated, cultured, coastal Americans who laugh when Europeans who have never set foot in the US think the entire country is nothing but rednecks.

and no matter how much you protest, we still think you are.

Not in my experience r224. I've known many lovely Europeans, not the bitter misanthropes like DLers are.

R223 Remember when I never did that but your stankin, no ass getting self falsely identified yet another poster as me. And you always coming for lesbians. What is your problem with women. Yes I’m a keep soning your bitch ass since you so mafuckin ignorant.

Excellent gays stand up.

^^just OD already

R227 Just get laid already. Oh wait:..

I'm the one who reminds everyone that we were founded as a Christian Nation "under God". Just read the Constitution.

I was here first.

Trying to reinforce every negative stereotype bigots believe about black people.

Teacup = Defucktard

I'm rural America--the world that time forgot. I vote because there is nothing else to do here.

The Grand Canyon is rural America!

Oh, you’re a lesbian now, R226? Still Black though, amirite?

It must be a challenge keeping track with all the voices in your head. Maybe jump on Grindr and line up a little PNP sesh, relax and kick back, nomesayin’?

Don’t forget, today is Pepsi day, not Mountain Dew x that’ll be tomorrow as you’ll be white and coming down.

R234. Never said I was lesbian big dummy. Learn critical reading skills. I won’t read the rest of your post bitch. My company is about to arrive. Carry on loser.

OK Blackmussy - I totally understand that the arrival of your meth dealer takes precedence!

Your mom getting pregnant in the back seat of a Jeep does not make you part Native American.

It seems that you took R234’s advice, Blackpussy. Blackmussy? Teacake? KGT? Whatever.

R237 would've been funnier had you used "Cherokee" instead of "Jeep".

I´m American. Go ahead, ask me your questions. I know you´re have questions. I know you want to ask me lots of things. It´s why I´ve been speaking even louder than normal, practically shouting, then looking around the room or the park or the busy street to see who reacts when I speak about the US. I know you´re curious, because all the rest of the wolrd wants to fuck Americans or be Americans, right? But maybe what I need to do is really shout, shouting American things at the top of my voice, and then you local people from whatever fuckkhole country this is without so much as washcloths in your goddamned hotels can form an orderly queue and ask all the questions you have about how fucking great it is to be American.

I’m the American poors who are the only ones using washcloths (and presumably still draining their pasta).

You're bitching about Americans R240? Have you heard Chinese tourists?

R240 an acute accent is no substitute for an apostrophe. Do better.

Americans CAN be pretty bad in many respects, no doubt, but humans can be pretty bad generally. I think those of us who are Americans tend to be hard on ourselves because we have to consistently suffer the negative aspects of Americanism. I also think we tend to compare the worst of America to the best of other countries. But since most of us only see other countries as tourists, we've never seen much of the true negative aspects of other countries other than surface things - "it was dirty," "I thought the people were rude." We don't have to consistently and persistently deal with any deep structural or cultural things that are "negative."

I laughed a lot of the answers about the negative aspects of American life and culture - and agreed with the majority of them. Yet, I still hold America in comparatively high esteem and think there's a lot of positives.

[quote]I think those of us who are Americans tend to be hard on ourselves because we have to consistently suffer the negative aspects of Americanism.

Do tell about your suffering.

Don't worry about Americans r245. In the not too distant future the UK and Western Europe will be majority Muslim and you'll have plenty to suffer over.

Unsolicited advice for Americans traveling to Europe: 1) never apologize for your culture or your president; never go out of your way to demonstrate that you're not like *those* Americans; 2) never pretend to be Canadian. You'll be fine.

I am a circumcised penis 🍆

R134- You forgot to mention Japan 🇯🇵.

I'm the processed food full of God knows how many chemicals that's making people fat and destroying their health.

poorly constructed sentence.

I'm r251 and I don't understand how the internet works, where people on forums and social media type in stream of consciousness language. I'm an ancient old fossil who will be dead soon.

I'm the dull and craven rest of the world's people, who can carp and criticize but it's always from the envy the losers feel.

China? India? Russia? Eastern Europe? The EU countries? HA! The UK? A caste-and-tastelessness patch of ruins and no leadership. Australia? A dying desert of imitators with bad educations. Latin America? Corrupt, dangerous crap factories. Canada? They all move the to US if they have any ambition. Japan? They can't even reproduce, they're so fucked up.

Oh, Scandinavian countries? Try to get in. New Zealand? They're practically like the lunatic islanders who kill anyone approaching.

Go ahead and kvetch.

Loser world.

About 75% of the world is a hellhole.

I’m the horrible, precocious, bratty kids.

America is the next India

[quote]About 75% of the world is a hellhole.

A considerable understatement of American sentiment, but the most American thing in this thread.

I’m the “Canadian bacon” that they produce in the United States and pretend is Canadian.

r257 it's actually true. And Western Europeans generally have the same sentiment.

I'm the little guy sitting in my big truck.

- or, more precisely -

I'm the "little" guy sitting in my big truck.

I'm....well, R253. I epitomize the USA.

I’m the assumption that people envy people in the United States and the world view that doesn’t extend past the borders of the United States. I’m also the assumption that every country is controlled by white people and that “POC”s are a minority worldwide.

Well nobody's clamoring to get into Mexico or Colombia. It's all about the US.

It's a fact of life that the countries controlled by white people and a few East Asian countries are the gold standard. Sorry, it just is.

The countries previously controlled by white people are another story.

[quote]I'm the dull and craven rest of the world's people, who can carp and criticize but it's always from the envy the losers feel.

I'm the American who thinks the major European countries each roughly 10% to 24% of the population of the US lose sleep about a race between the US and China in the game to be "We're Number 1!"

I believe that competition to better, nah, to beat every other country is my birthright, and I can't comprehend that France, Germany, the UK, Spain, Italy, Poland, Netherlands, Sweden, don't care any more than Malta about having bragging rights about GDP. Nevermind that inconsequential Malta has the 32nd fastest growing GDP (US is in 117th place of 199), the USA will always be bigger and therefore better goddaminit.

Measures of longevity, public health, access to healthcare and education, quality of life, workers' rights, women's equality, public safety...none of that stupid shit matters because people coming from Mexico and Latin America are not chartering boats to Normandie, they're coming to the US. So there. And we're bigger. Did I mention that?

Western Europe needs to concentrate on their exploding Muslim population, they're committing cultural and social suicide over there.

The United States needs to concentrate less on exploding other people.

r267 is the whataboutism queen.

R267 = Grandma Dynamite 🧨.

When I grow up I want to be David Ehrenstein.

[quote] In the not too distant future the UK and Western Europe will be majority Muslim and you'll have plenty to suffer over.

[quote]Western Europe needs to concentrate on their exploding Muslim population, they're committing cultural and social suicide over there.

You do sound American, R246 and R266, a scold blowing the same bullshit out of his ass on any thread that mentions Europe.

Current Muslim population of all European countries 5%

In a very broad view of Western Europe, the most significant Muslim populations are: France 8.8% Sweden 8.1% Belgium 7.6% Netherlands 7.1% Austria 6.9% UK 6.3% Switzerland 6.1% Germany 6.1% Greece 5.7% Norway 5.7% Italy 4.4% Spain 2.6% Ireland 1.4% (included just because it's been in the news recently)

A Pew Research Center study projected the growth of Muslims in all of Europe to reach 8% in 2030. Another Pew study projected a Muslim population of 7.4% for 2050 using a Zero Migration assumption; and 14% Muslim population in 2050% using a High Migration assumption.

r271 you're a useful idiot.

[quote]In a very broad view of Western Europe, the most significant Muslim populations are: France 8.8% Sweden 8.1% Belgium 7.6% Netherlands 7.1% Austria 6.9% UK 6.3% Switzerland 6.1% Germany 6.1% Greece 5.7% Norway 5.7% Italy 4.4% Spain 2.6% Ireland 1.4% (included just because it's been in the news recently)

And those numbers are still enough to cause crime rates in Western Europe unseen in generations and constant interference in society with their bullshit Medieval demands and practices.

As I've always said, if Muslims were lily white Anglo Saxons, the Western World would have no trouble telling them all to go fuck themselves but everybody is too afraid of being called racist.

I don't defend the Muslim religion (nor the Christian, nor any religion or their demands and practices that others bend to another's belief), but I live in one of those countries and I'm vastly safer here than in the safer parts of the US. I'm not my unaware of problems and tensions in France, Belgium, Sweden, Netherlands, UK... but they have not remotely turned to shitholes (while the US shines bright like a beacon?)

You overstate a legitimate issue -- by very fucking broad strokes -- for your own political agenda.

r274 god knows the US has its problems. Nobody said it didn't. Islam has been at war with the West for 1600 years. It has not changed a bit. This is just the latest incarnation. Learn some history.

I'm the electoral college.

OP- Let's Be

HOMOSEXUALS 😚😚

Let's be American homosexuals.

I'm enjoying the go cart at Walmart. My feet have arthritis and hurt all the time. My doctor says it's because I just crossed the threshold at 405.

[quote]I’m the horrible, precocious, bratty kids.

You think they're bad? Go to a Fiesta grocery store in the barrio.

The terrible barrio kids would still be American.

Bless your heart r281

I'm the English language, eroding faster than the Titanic.

r283 it's always hilarious when people complain about Americans murdering the English language when the English themselves have been doing it for a very long time.

Bless your heart R282.

[quote]The terrible barrio kids would still be American.

That's very funny.

[quote]The terrible barrio kids would still be American.

They don't consider themselves American and around here they could be illegal. Most work here and go home to Mexico for long visits after working under the table here.

sure, you know exactly what is going on in all latino households...

An older Latino couple bought a condo in my complex and I have yet to figure out who actually lives there. But I do love their music.

Does it smell like Fabuloso?

Ever thought I might work with a lot of them in some capacity R288?

R290! LOLOL!!! Our whole fucking building smells of Fabuloso!!! Our cleaning people are Latino.

"I'm just gonna sneak right past ya!"

Hey, I like Fabuloso, we have the watermelon flavor! It's splendid

R293, I'm American, so I don't get it. That sounds like a normal, if overly informal, thing to say when you have to slip through a narrow space between people or between a person and an object. What is your point? Should we just shove our way through in the Chinese way? Or perhaps say a curt, unsmiling "excuse me" in that charming European way?

I generally say "I'm sorry" or just "sorry!", but if others prefer this folksy way of talking, so what? It's nice. Americans like things to be nice, at least on the surface. If you don't understand that, you'll never understand us.

R295 It is a purely American Middle West saying.

In Minnesota such phrases must be prefaced with an “op!”

Americans abroad!

I'm the basic insecurity hiding behind the chest-beating exceptionalism.

R248 That’s a good thing. No stink.

R299, I'm the rather disturbing fact that such insecurity is a thing of the past, despite evidence that it shouldn't be.

Thus "The Fog of War" etc.

Let’s be really fat, but with straight white teeth, living check to check, and have no hobbies but watching television.

R302- and eating snacks

I’m the pathetic impulse to impersonate British accents when you meet British people.

Op is a hog

Like Europe and the UK don't have their share of white trash. Chavs in Britain could give American white trash a run for their money. Also, low-class Germans are ignorant, trashy pigs.

R306 Please stop using the term "chav". It doesn't mean what you think it does.

OK, low class Brits then. Happy? I think everybody gets the gist of it when "chav" is mentioned.

I’m father/daughter dances. Creepy.

We live in Flyoverstan and our choices aren’t based on price but what others think of us. We'll gladly pay $90,000 for a pickup truck but a $50,000 BMW, that’s pretentious.

^^oh hi you make no sense whatsoever

I'm impoverished, but seen as relatively well off in comparison to the impoverished in third-world countries.

I’m R312, who thinks that “third world” as a descriptor of a country, is ok, and who nevertheless couldn’t identify a “third world” country on a map if he tried.

I'm most Americans and, regardless of my political leanings, my world view is not so very different than Trump's.

I'm the judgemental prick at R313 who pitches a bitch over a commonly used and non-derogatory term used to describe underdeveloped countries, yet completely fails to understand the context of the post at R312, which isn't offensive.

I'm future Americans who can't understand how a grifting narcissist ever gained enough support to win the presidency, then tried to prevent the handover of power after being defeated, and was still able to run for office again.

I’m the anal bleaching

I'm the rare American honest enough to admit that R314 is hitting a lot of us dead on. The Orange Retard didn't get elected by a computer glitch or something. The people who support him have always been with us and they aren't going anywhere.

I’m the Spirit of Halloween store open for business in August.

I’m the “My country, right or wrong” mentality.

I'm the competitive spirit which means that if I did travel, the entire experience is a giant score card to measure bigger and better things are "back home".

My whole foreign travel experience is spent comparing every fucking little detail non-stop for the whole trip. I complain about the tiny food portions, the tiny hotel rooms, the tiny streets for tiny cars, the tiny clothes ("nothing in my size?!"), the tiny houses, the tiny yards around the tiny houses, the tiny salaries, the tiny shops, the tiny restaurants with tiny tables so close together and tiny chairs with the leg fat spilling off the sides, the tiny (thin) people...

r313 go take your SUV to Costco and STFU

We're the Americans who go about our lives and whoever the President is is just background noise. Our lifestyles don't really depend on politics.

I am salt, I am everywhere and overused.

I’m using cans of soup in a recipe and saying it’s cooking.

You probably won’t call me back but my asshole is delicious