Do you plan to use a surrogate or adopt. And if the former will you be using IVF or good ol fashion sex. I posed this question but I don’t understand why more married gay male couples don’t adopt. It seems like lesbians adopt more than gay men and they actually have the plumbing to host a baby. All the suffering kids even here in America. Why not just adopt?
Married Gays: Why not adopt?
by Anonymous | reply 95 | August 3, 2024 9:27 PM |
I have enough problems on my own
by Anonymous | reply 1 | August 1, 2024 10:29 PM |
Because I hate children and raising them is bad for the planet.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | August 1, 2024 10:38 PM |
Not everyone wants kids, JD.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | August 1, 2024 11:15 PM |
[quote]It seems like lesbians adopt more than gay men and they actually have the plumbing to host a baby.
The fuck? What "plumbing" do you think impregnates women in the first place? It's called a PENIS, dear. (And your comment is generally sexist: women aren't better "equipped" to raise children outside of extreme-right circles. Like JD.)
by Anonymous | reply 4 | August 1, 2024 11:18 PM |
Because when I realized I was a lesbian, I was overjoyed at the fact that I would never find myself pregnant. I am not a fan of kids. I won't date women who have them, either. Kids suck and are expensive and now I'm too fucking old to deal with them.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | August 1, 2024 11:20 PM |
Op, why don't you mind your own business?
by Anonymous | reply 6 | August 1, 2024 11:25 PM |
My aunt and uncle had a very difficult, traumatic time trying to adopt a kid and eventually gave up. Long gone are the days when being an unwed mother was a big shame and you'd better secretly give up the child for adoption.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | August 1, 2024 11:30 PM |
Surrogacy is legalized paid incubation that can lead to all sorts of issues both psychological and physiological for the carrier. Even healthy pregnancies are a strain on a woman's health, but selfish couples paying for it never consider that since for them it's all baby, baby, baby. Don't get me started on egg donation - that's induced ovarian cancer.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | August 1, 2024 11:36 PM |
What about us??
by Anonymous | reply 9 | August 1, 2024 11:47 PM |
I'm not sure I've ever known an adopted person who was not fucked up in some way. They struggle with healthy relationships almost universally.
And I say this as an adopted person.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | August 1, 2024 11:52 PM |
Is it that simple? I heard that in my country there are a lot less adoptions now compared with previous decades as people are less likely to give them up. Plus I imagine the process is exhaustive.
I guess you could adopt from another country.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | August 1, 2024 11:59 PM |
I don’t even want the responsibility of a dog. Why on earth, then, would I want children?
by Anonymous | reply 12 | August 2, 2024 12:01 AM |
[quote]Surrogacy is legalized paid incubation that can lead to all sorts of issues both psychological and physiological for the carrier.
Indeed, women definitely want *you* making their choices for them. 🙄
[quote]My aunt and uncle had a very difficult, traumatic time trying to adopt a kid and eventually gave up.
I'm sorry to hear that, but OTOH I think the OP needs to listen. Adoption is no walk in the park, and that's all the more true for queer parents (and particularly single parents). R10 is correct that adopted kids typically have issues, often major ones – and that's assuming you're approved to adopt in the first place. OP needs to stop judging others: NO route to having a kid is simple if you're not a straight (cis) couple.
R12, no one's forcing you to have kids. It's really not all about you. 🙄
by Anonymous | reply 13 | August 2, 2024 12:02 AM |
What about married straights, OP?
by Anonymous | reply 14 | August 2, 2024 1:07 AM |
Children would only get in the way of my erotic lifestyle.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | August 2, 2024 1:08 AM |
R15, just tell the escort to come over when the kids are at school.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | August 2, 2024 1:13 AM |
If straight childless couples who wanted kids bad enough to adopt older ones instead of insisting they be new born babies, we would not have an adoption problem in this country at all. It's so gross that so many straight couples want it to be a baby they will go to other countries to get one instead of adopting a 5 or 10 year old kid. It's all about THEIR experience not actually caring about unwanted kids.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | August 2, 2024 1:57 AM |
It's even grosser when gay men and straight couples use women as surrogates.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | August 2, 2024 2:56 AM |
Adoption agencies give gays the worst of the worst. Sick, special needs, troubled, etc. They know they’re desperate to be parents so they give them the rejects.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | August 2, 2024 3:11 AM |
[quote]It's even grosser when gay men and straight couples use women as surrogates.
Straight couple has baby -> +1 child
Straight or gay couple uses surrogate -> +1 child
So equally as gross.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | August 2, 2024 4:21 AM |
I think most people who want and can have children will want at least one biological child.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | August 2, 2024 4:33 AM |
No, r20. It's gross when people pay women to use their uterus for their own selfish reasons. Women are not incubators.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | August 2, 2024 5:13 AM |
r19 Aren't all children up for adoption technically "rejects?"
by Anonymous | reply 23 | August 2, 2024 5:32 AM |
[quote]It's gross when people pay women to use their uterus for their own selfish reasons. Women are not incubators.
It’s a mutual agreement and the same thing is happening when the woman is pregnant via intercourse with her own partner.
In that case she is still an “incubator”.
Deal with it.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | August 2, 2024 5:57 AM |
My straight mum looked into adoption but all the agencies wanted married couples. She chose the local sperm bank instead (not that I could track down my father - the doc running it never kept records).
by Anonymous | reply 25 | August 2, 2024 7:22 AM |
Another adoptee here, extremely leery of adoption. Especially because of the pre-Roe baby scoop era, where black women were given welfare and sterilization and white woken were coerced into giving their children away, Americans accept this practice without a lot of thought. Other countries support keeping the child in the family.
It’s pretty odd to suggest a child growing up with strangers is normal. That means never being around people who are genetically similar in appearance or temperate. On top of the stigma that posters on here have generously continued.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | August 2, 2024 8:06 AM |
I am ashamed to say that we didn't adopt. We took our girl from a woman that is not a breeder, but her pet pekingese had this litter of four lively healthy puppies. The woman had a house with garden and puppies were playing outside and remained with their mom for three months.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | August 2, 2024 8:15 AM |
[quote]not that I could track down my father
r25 Yes you can. Thanks to sites like 23andMe that offer DNA testing, a lot of adoptees have found their biological parents this way.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | August 2, 2024 9:11 AM |
r28 Not if you're female. I've looked into it.
Also 23andMe is a ripoff; my half Norwegian cousin paid a lot to them only to receive results declaring him "102% Scandinavian". 🙄🤦♀️
by Anonymous | reply 29 | August 2, 2024 9:19 AM |
From what I can see most gay couples have male twins from surrogacy. One fathered by each of them. And single gay men also have a male child so I don’t think we can ask why straight couples want to adopt a newborn instead of an older child. Not when they can point to dozens of famous gay men with their designer ego extension.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | August 2, 2024 9:30 AM |
What about me?
by Anonymous | reply 31 | August 2, 2024 9:53 AM |
I'll adopt Darfur Orphan if he behaves.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | August 2, 2024 10:37 AM |
I'll behave if my Daddy tells me to.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | August 2, 2024 10:39 AM |
I work to support my own habits not waste money on kids.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | August 2, 2024 10:42 AM |
We have a child thru surrogacy and it was a wonderful experience. But it cost $$$.
OP sounds like one of those people who does not understand the realities of adoption today, especially for LGBT prospective parents, who do not get the same treatment from adoption agencies that hetero couples often do. The US adoption industry is extremely problematic.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | August 2, 2024 10:46 AM |
From the article at R35:
"We have this idea that there are so many babies in need of homes. In fact, the demand for babies dwarfs the number of babies that are actually available for adoption. Estimates put it at between 10 and 45 waiting families for every baby that’s relinquished through private adoption. Bethany Christian Services, which is one of the biggest adoption agencies in the country, stopped accepting applications from prospective adoptive parents—there just weren’t enough babies. People don’t actually want to give away their children if they don’t have to. I think the biggest myth is that engaging in the private adoption system is an altruistic thing to do. We don’t need more prospective adoptive parents in private adoptions. "
"The number one expense of most adoption agencies is in marketing, and a lot of that is Google ads. They spend more on marketing than they do on legal fees, than they do on support for birth mothers. There’s this idea that adoption is so expensive because that money has to go towards supporting the birth mother during her pregnancy, and that actually very rarely happens at any meaningful level. The most expensive thing about adoption is ads that are going into recruiting pregnant people into giving up their children."
"Adoption as a system is supposed to be about finding homes for children who need them, not about finding babies for parents who want them. I also think that as more and more of our adoption in the United States is transracial adoption, the promise of white parents adopting children of color becomes this post-racial bona fide. I don’t think that’s why most of them do it, but I do think that there’s this idea that we can form families: biology doesn’t matter, race doesn’t matter, communities of origin don’t matter. Love is what makes a family. That’s this progressive liberal idea, and it’s not actually born out in the impacts that we see for adopted people and their families. "
by Anonymous | reply 36 | August 2, 2024 10:57 AM |
r29 23andMe was just an example. But you may want to reconsider, because you can absolutely do this if you're female.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | August 2, 2024 11:05 AM |
^ By the way, to add to that, I have a cousin who never knew his father (who was the son of my granduncle/grandmother's brother) who was able to find me and subsequently his entire paternal side because our DNA matched on Ancestry. He's biracial and his mother is White. He was born in the UK and raised entirely by his mom's family and always wanted to know and have a connection with his Black American half. AncestryDNA helped him find us.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | August 2, 2024 11:09 AM |
And at the risk of sounding like an ad for AncestryDNA it's quite accurate. My grandfather and other relatives took tests and the site accurately estimated our relationship when it matched our DNA. It identified the possible relationship to my grandfather as a grandparent or half-sibling. Again, I'd just reconsider, but of course, it's up to you.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | August 2, 2024 11:15 AM |
Yeesh. Last one, I swear. For reference, I'm also a female and it was my paternal grandfather AncestryDNA matched identified as my grandparent. So, being a female clearly doesn't matter for their test if you're wanting to possibly find any paternal relatives.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | August 2, 2024 11:19 AM |
[quote]I posed this question but I don’t understand why more married gay male couples don’t adopt.
…because men are not culturally programmed to picture themselves as child-rearers.
It is the basis of our civilization.
In fact, I’ll expand on Marriage Story’s excellent monologue. It is the basis of evolution.
“The idea that men are unsuitable for childcare is seemingly supported by the apes closest to us, chimpanzees and bonobos. The males of these species do very little with the young. No carrying, no feeding, no watching over them. However, they are perfectly capable of stepping up to the plate if need be.” (Time, tinyurl.com/yxez8j8u)
It is the same amongst almost all mammals. Gorillas, lions, elephants, bears, dogs, cats. Males do not take care of their children. Homosexuality is more common amongst mammals than a male taking care of its offspring.
The animal where the father takes the most care of its offspring is a creature so far removed from us, the seahorse.
Surely you have realized this.
Are you autistic or something?
by Anonymous | reply 41 | August 2, 2024 11:45 AM |
[quote]Also 23andMe is a ripoff; my half Norwegian cousin paid a lot to them only to receive results declaring him "102% Scandinavian".
I love people who declare things a rip-off instead of defaulting to the most logical answer - that someone somewhere lied about someone's paternity.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | August 2, 2024 12:09 PM |
r42 my aunt did not cheat on my uncle. Fuck you.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | August 2, 2024 1:02 PM |
Famous last words R43. You don't know. Also, it doesn't have to be her, but someone, somewhere probably lied.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | August 2, 2024 1:25 PM |
Some gay men have the same biological urge to pass on their genes as straight people. A friend of mine wanted children who might somewhat resemble him in temperament, interests, and/or appearance. I remember how proud he was, showing me photos of his surrogate's growing belly when she was pregnant with his son, and less than a year later, his twins.
I don't have kids myself, but I can see the appeal of creating a new life and knowing you had a hand in it.
That said, adopting is an incredible act of love and commitment, and I admire people who open their homes to children who need families.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | August 2, 2024 2:04 PM |
Note the perspective in r45. It does not include the child or the birth parent, who might have sharply different opinions.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | August 2, 2024 2:09 PM |
I've written this here before, but it bears repeating.
My (straight) bff, now 56, is a well-paid professional, and has never married or had children. And when she was younger, people would ask her why she didn't want children.
She said, "When you have a kid, you're [italic]making[/italic] a [italic]person[/italic]. I don't even want to make a [italic]sandwich[/italic]!
by Anonymous | reply 47 | August 2, 2024 2:20 PM |
I’m 61, get off my fucking lawn!
by Anonymous | reply 48 | August 2, 2024 2:47 PM |
[quote]Males do not take care of their children.
r41 They do. It's just usually the bare minimum; food, clothing, shelter. Nurturing tends to be lacking with fathers and males, in general. Men are also less likely to bond with their own offspring as quickly as the mother because they don't give birth. This is why there are more men less likely to date someone with children compared to women. Men are less likely to accept children that aren't biologically theirs.
In the animal kingdom, the male will even kill or harm offspring. Even their own. That's while female dogs keep the fathers away from their newborn puppies. Female humans tend to do something similar, just with less biting and growling and more subpoena serving and alienating.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | August 2, 2024 2:48 PM |
OP, tell me you're a frau without telling me you're a frau.
This is an incredibly naive post, and downright offensive, even by DL standards.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | August 2, 2024 3:32 PM |
R36 wow I had no idea that was the state of affairs. I would think with Roe gone more unwanted babies would be on the market. I don’t mean to commodify a beautiful little one but you know what I mean.
R50 Tell me you are a jackass without telling me you are a jackass.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | August 2, 2024 3:51 PM |
Same-sex couples raising kids are seven times more likely to adopt or foster than heterosexual couples. And we have a long tradition of it that predates the legality of gay marriage by generations.
A-gays can easily afford surrogacy and their stories are ubiquitous, but it's out of reach for the average couple, whatever you think of its ethics. Families like this one that was recently profiled in the Washington Post (link bypasses paywall) remain more common overall.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | August 2, 2024 3:52 PM |
R41 you had me until the autistic thing. Why I are DLers obsessed with autism, which I am most certainly not.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | August 2, 2024 3:53 PM |
[quote]. If straight childless couples who wanted kids bad enough to adopt older ones instead of insisting they be new born babies, we would not have an adoption problem in this country at all. It's so gross that so many straight couples want it to be a baby they will go to other countries to get one instead of adopting a 5 or 10 year old kid. It's all about THEIR experience not actually caring about unwanted kids.
I agree people have children for purely selfish reasons, but it’s quite understandable that people are wary of adopting more mature children. It’s already a big gamble to have a child from birth, but god knows what you are taking on when you’ve had no control of the child’s upbringing for the first five to ten years. That risk is all the greater since the fact that the child has to change homes at five or ten is usually a sign something serious has gone wrong.
Yes, all parents are selfish, but people are just being realistic about what they can handle and the likelihood that they may have to give the child back, creating even more havoc.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | August 2, 2024 4:14 PM |
[quote]It's even grosser when gay men and straight couples use women as surrogates.
In your opinion, one thankfully not shared by others. Queer people are still routinely attacked for being "different," and you're only attempting to further the absurd argument that it's "weird" or "gross." It's not. Straight people only use surrogates if at least one of the two people in a couple have fertility problems. I know two straight couples who've used surrogates, and in both cases they tried conceiving naturally for over two years (and over three years in one case).
Also, which part of "bodily autonomy" are you missing? If a woman wants to be *very* well-paid to serve as a surrogate – it is in no way viewed by THEM as the equivalent of a "broodmare" – that's entirely her own call.
[quote]Adoption agencies give gays the worst of the worst. Sick, special needs, troubled, etc.
No, this is a ridiculous conspiracy theory with zero evidence to support it, not to mention insulting & defamatory.
[quote]By the way, to add to that, I have a cousin who never knew his father (who was the son of my granduncle/grandmother's brother) who was able to find me and subsequently his entire paternal side because our DNA matched on Ancestry ... And at the risk of sounding like an ad for AncestryDNA it's quite accurate.
No, it was only "accurate" in your specific situation, and for your specific family members. It does *not* work for most women, which you'd understand if you knew a bit more about the science behind it. You're making a broad generalization based on anecdotal data, and said data do not match the argument you're making.
Btw I assume OP is, in fact, a 'frau, based on her response to the accusation of being one: "I would think with Roe gone more unwanted babies would be on the market. I don’t mean to commodify a beautiful little one but you know what I mean." I know exactly what you mean, cupcake: you're either a delusional 'frau or yet another gay man pretending to be one on here for shit-stirring purposes, given that this is the most frau-y comment you've stated on this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | August 2, 2024 4:44 PM |
There just aren't that many children available for adoption. The majority of children in US foster care are part of a sibling group and ideally won't be separated, and/or not cleared for adoption. Their parents are unable to care for them yet haven't ceded parental rights. Very few countries allow gay foreign adoptions these days. I think it's down to Brazil, Colombia and The Philippines.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | August 2, 2024 4:44 PM |
[quote]Straight people only use surrogates
I meant to add a caveat there: yes, I know plenty of celebrity women use surrogates mainly because they don't want to "ruin their figure," or spend a year or more "burdened" by pregnancy. I should've added a qualifier like "in most cases" prior to the clause.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | August 2, 2024 4:45 PM |
It takes extra work for women to trace their paternal DNA compared to men, but it's certainly doable and happens all the time. If the process is too confusing for someone to navigate on her own, there are internet resources that can help and some libraries also offer access to genealogy experts.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | August 2, 2024 5:54 PM |
[quote]No, it was only "accurate" in your specific situation, and for your specific family members. It does *not* work for most women, which you'd understand if you knew a bit more about the science behind it. You're making a broad generalization based on anecdotal data, and said data do not match the argument you're making.
r55 Hon, for DNA [bold]matching[/bold] for the purposes of finding any paternal relatives, an AncestryDNA test is adequate because it uses autosomal DNA to match people. For the purposes of tracing one's paternal lineage (i.e. haplogroups) that can only be traced using a Y-DNA test. It is for that specific purpose that a Y-DNA test will not work on a woman for obvious reasons. If you're only looking for DNA matches on your father's side, they use autosomal DNA for that and look for the amount of shared centimorgans to predict the relationship (i.e. grandparent, cousin, sibling, etc.).
So, excuse me, but I do understand the science of this and when it comes to finding a father, woman absolutely can use AncestryDNA for that. The ethnicity results will only show haplogroups inherited from the mother with mtDNA (mitochondrial DNA) for women. Once again, I reiterate, women can possibly find their fathers or any paternal relatives who have taken that test on AncestryDNA.
Here is yet another woman who found her father using AncestryDNA testing. This happens constantly sir/ma'am
by Anonymous | reply 59 | August 2, 2024 5:56 PM |
Here's more on autosomal DNA testing. This is also the type of DNA test that they recommend adoptees take if they're trying to find family members because you get sets of atDNA from both of your parents.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | August 2, 2024 6:04 PM |
[quote]I have enough problems on my own
Exactly so. Or maybe happy absence of problems not to listen to some presumptuous cunt suggest that married gay men 1.) want to have children, and 2.) should adopt because some sad cunt says they should.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | August 2, 2024 6:27 PM |
[quote] It's gross when people pay women to use their uterus for their own selfish reasons. Women are not incubators.
Tell that to the women who want 60,000 to 70,000 grand to pop out a kid for a total stranger. That incubator is some money maker.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | August 3, 2024 5:18 AM |
[quote]R18 It's even grosser when gay men and straight couples use women as surrogates.
The women get paid!
And some of them find it damn fulfilling. Diane Downs, for instance.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | August 3, 2024 5:40 AM |
This is hilarious. Talking like women are so ethical when so many are willing to be incubators for the right price. My partner's niece is is in her 30's was asked if she would do it for a straight couple at a holiday party we were all at. She was all into it giving them the yes, vibe until she threw out a number like 100,000 and they responded with 10,000. 😂 Suddenly it was all about taking advantage of woman's bodies.
by Anonymous | reply 64 | August 3, 2024 5:59 AM |
There should be a term like “whomb whores” for surrogates, shouldn’t there?
by Anonymous | reply 65 | August 3, 2024 6:07 AM |
[quote]She was all into it giving them the yes, vibe until she threw out a number like 100,000 and they responded with 10,000. 😂 Suddenly it was all about taking advantage of woman's bodies.
Why is that shocking or indicative of the niece's lack of ethics?
The approval process where her teeth and more and checked out like in a horse fair. The getting to know you interviews with the nervous and exacting pay-to-be parents. The medical exams and consultations. The insemination process. The nervous fear of the paying parents that the surrogate will change her mind, or have a puff of her sister's cigarette, or not be fun for brunch after all. The enormous changes physically and mentally. The probability that everything is not going to just pop back into normal once the baby has been trotted off by its parents.
And the cheap motherfucking parents who will likely bombard her will all sorts of questions and disapproving looks only to in the end roll their eyes at 100,000 and instead offer 10,000 for ten months of a woman's life and some blown out insides? "Plus medical costs, of course."
And this probably from some cunts who bragged about spending 30,000 on their divine one week holiday at a Tuscan villa.
Why would any woman with options in her world even consider such a thing unless it were in act of great friendship? 10,000 is nothing.
The fault in that party conversation was the niece's.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | August 3, 2024 1:23 PM |
*was not the niece's.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | August 3, 2024 1:24 PM |
Agreed R66, they are idiots if they thought they could pay her with peanuts for such a service. 100000 is not enough.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | August 3, 2024 1:28 PM |
[quote]until she threw out a number like 100,000 and they responded with 10,000. 😂 Suddenly it was all about taking advantage of woman's bodies.
Yet I'm sure you'd be salty and turn up your nose if someone offered you less than market value for a hard asset you were selling. You might even give them a lecture about macroeconomics. Over an inanimate object.
People are funny.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | August 3, 2024 1:55 PM |
Surrogacy is such a terrible thing for women to do as well.
Remember that gay couple who got caught by the FBI in a child sex abuse investigation? One of the men was raping infants and had a pregnant surrogate waiting in California at the time of his arrest.
Any woman who is considering getting pregnant needs to be near her child to ensure the child's safety, if she's any kind of a decent person. Doing it for people you know well is one thing. But doing it for strangers is a complete act of stupidity and/or sociopathy.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | August 3, 2024 2:24 PM |
I cannot stand children. Barely spoke to my nieces and nephews until they were old enough to attend family cocktail hour. Plus, we have a nice income that we enjoy spending on ourselves only. Our dog is better than any fucked up kid with trigger issues or gender confusion anyway.
by Anonymous | reply 71 | August 3, 2024 3:04 PM |
Can I clear up a few things about surrogacy?
It’s gestational surrogacy. Not bio. In other words, two different women are involved: an egg donor and a gestational surrogate. Neither is a pregnant mom giving up her own child carried to term.
It can indeed be an ethical minefield though. We have a wonderful grade school daughter via surrogacy and we are still in occasional catch-up relationship with our surrogate and there is a lot of mutual fondness still, 7 years later. We paid her $35K or so, plus extra when she needed a C section and needed more recuperation time from work. She was happy to do it for us — and the $$ helped her and her family pay off a crushing debt from buying their first home.
A lot of things could go wrong with a surrogacy especially if it’s twins or if she is non-American.. or both. But our story was a happy one for everybody involved.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | August 3, 2024 3:22 PM |
Same reason we don’t shop at Value Village, OP: we don’t want someone else’s cast-offs.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | August 3, 2024 3:43 PM |
Can the idiots who don't want kids stop responding? This thread is about gays who do want kids and the question is why not adopt.
We don't need to hear the umpteenth story about how your fur baby--the one who licks the shit off his asshole--is more fulfilling than a human child. Or how you hate humanity and it somehow makes you smarter.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | August 3, 2024 3:45 PM |
Why do you have to be married, OP?
by Anonymous | reply 75 | August 3, 2024 3:59 PM |
OP thinks that if you’re married you want kids.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | August 3, 2024 4:00 PM |
[quote] Surrogacy is legalized paid incubation that can lead to all sorts of issues both psychological and physiological for the carrier.
You have no right telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies, cunt.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | August 3, 2024 4:01 PM |
Fuck you, OP.
What the fuck do you know about gay men adopting.
I know three couples and two single gay men who've adopted, and two have adopted children with special needs. That's my anecdote.
Your is bias, cunt.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | August 3, 2024 4:04 PM |
[quote] It takes extra work for women to trace their paternal DNA compared to men, but it's certainly doable and happens all the time.
Yeah, you need to test a brother, father or uncle.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | August 3, 2024 4:06 PM |
[quote] Surrogacy is such a terrible thing for women to do as well.
Fuck you.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | August 3, 2024 4:07 PM |
R74 JD Vance speaking from his couch.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | August 3, 2024 4:29 PM |
A Wednesdays Child update. Two gays have adopted three kids.
by Anonymous | reply 82 | August 3, 2024 5:41 PM |
I've posted on here before about having kids via surrogacy. We have a 14-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son - and we had them both via surrogacy. We specifically went the surrogacy route as we wanted biological connections with our kids. We had one egg donor (who we paid) and two different gestational surrogates. It wasn't cheap - and this was a number of years ago - but we had an amazing surrogacy agency we worked with a several lawyers who were tops in the field. We're still in touch with our daughter's surrogate - just saw her last year for lunch - and we hear from our son's surrogate occasionally. Surrogacy is a very personal choice and we feel fortunate that we could afford it and find great people to work with. And as I always says, "Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love."
by Anonymous | reply 83 | August 3, 2024 6:46 PM |
Remember the first chapter of Anne of Green Gables, “Mrs. Rachel Lynde is Surprised”?
When Rachel learns that Matthew and Marilla are adopting a boy, she is SHOCKED and APPALLED. She’s concerned that the orphan might kill them, like burning down the house or poisoning them.
I echo Rachel’s sentiments. You don’t know what kind of fucked up backround these foster kids or adopted kids have.
That’s why I want my own biological children.
by Anonymous | reply 84 | August 3, 2024 7:23 PM |
[quote]R68 They are idiots if they thought they could pay her with peanuts for such a service.
Stretch marks are forever!
by Anonymous | reply 85 | August 3, 2024 7:29 PM |
[quote]R70 Any woman who is considering getting pregnant needs to be near her child to ensure the child's safety, if she's any kind of a decent person. Doing surrogacy for people you know well is one thing. But doing it for strangers is a complete act of stupidity and/or sociopathy.
Well, what would that say about giving a baby up for adoption? You usually don’t know where it’s going, there. And even if you knew the adopting parents they could move at any time.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | August 3, 2024 7:35 PM |
Can you give the surrogate-created baby back if you don’t like it?
by Anonymous | reply 87 | August 3, 2024 7:44 PM |
R87: are you serious - or just being a DLer?
by Anonymous | reply 88 | August 3, 2024 8:06 PM |
No R69, that's complete projection on your part.
My point about my partners niece is not about the dollar amount, it's about the shallow pretense that a woman's body is sacred, not some incubator, until you offer up enough cash. Then it's, "would you like another, how about a sibling".
by Anonymous | reply 89 | August 3, 2024 8:22 PM |
R86 what? I would say those women are unfit to be mothers, which is why they are giving those kids up in the first place.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | August 3, 2024 8:45 PM |
I haven't read all of the rplies, but based on the first few defensive comments, it seems people are missing OP's real question. He is asking why so many married gays opt for IVF instead of adopting, not why don't more married gays have kids in the first place.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | August 3, 2024 8:50 PM |
I did adopt...child#6 was found on the beach when he was almost 3 yrs. old by child#4(Willamina)& #5(Richard Lucca-RL) the 2nd set of twins who snuck him in the house along with the dog, eventually named Sparky.
The ex-wife showed up the next day with her parents, we filed emergency custody, called my Lawyer& my FB who worked at Calif social services. I got the Dr and the vet to draw blood from the boy and the dog. 2 days later tests and x-rays for both. Both were in perfect health, underweight though.
Eventually, Odin Gabriel Smythe became child#6, now a doctor.
by Anonymous | reply 92 | August 3, 2024 8:55 PM |
[quote] That’s why I want my own biological children.
I don't think you should propagate your defective genetic material, troll.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | August 3, 2024 9:07 PM |
Love your post, R92
by Anonymous | reply 94 | August 3, 2024 9:08 PM |
Womb for rent.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | August 3, 2024 9:27 PM |