First Dibs / Last Rites

RACI$T LE$BIAN TROLL ALERT!

Dibs!

Black earwax

Kevin Sessums!

She’s creeping on an innocent group of young men again.

Kevin Sessums is an asshole, but he is a human asshole who isn't famous enough to be incessantly stalked here, have accidents and ill health wished on him, and to have his health problems mocked.

My sister's pussy stinks.

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

Get some new material, R6. That little copy-and-paste number is stale as fuck.

[bold]Ode to an Ordinary Asshole [/bold]

O, Kevin Sessums, man of common, mortal mold,

A jerk, perchance, yet human to the core.

Unblessed by fame, your story yet untold,

No paparazzi knock upon your door.

No hounds of hell, with malice in their eyes,

To track your every move, your every breath. No cruelest wishes, vile and dark surmise,

To tempt the Fates to hasten you to death.

Your flaws are plain, a garden overgrown,

With weeds of ego, prickly and unkind.

Yet, spared the spotlight’s harsh, unforgiving zone,

Your faults remain a matter of the mind.

So let us grant you this, at least, my friend:

Obscurity, a peaceful, quiet end.

All of these Kevin Sessums stalking threads are one step away from law enforcement being involved. Those of you who think you're having innocent fun poking fun at someone on the Internet need to wake the fuck up.

R6 c'mon Kevin, even you can do better.

Put him on ignore. I never see his posts, just see everyone else talking about him.

Disappointing to see a dozen new posts but half of them are 🧌 I need to know what’s going down in Ptown.

I keep telling this Kevin Sessums stalkers to get a private subreddit, which seems to be a successful solution for the Heartstopper freaks, but for some reason they're just not having it. I wonder what it is. Are they too old and feeble to deal with Reddit? Or is it that this is really about two to three people talking to themselves.

In any case, they always cross the line of decency, no matter how much they say this is innocent fun about a hilariously pathetic person. Somebody eventually wishes Kevin Sessums would fall down the Paris Metro stairs again. Someone laughs at his drug addiction or his age. Someone gives clear or coded messaging that they will be seeing Kevin Sessums in public and will report back, which is extremely creepy and could open this forum to legal liability.

Get fucked mental 🧌 you’re not some fucking hall monitor. Don’t you have law enforcement to contact?

Like I said yesterday, you live for the dopamine and can't help yourselves. There's no way you can ignore. Go to addicted to your little Kevin Sessums game, and you need to feed that fucking beast. 🥱

[bold]Attributes of Online Brigades Stalking Public Figures [/Bold]

Online brigades, often driven by political, ideological, or personal motivations, engage in coordinated harassment of public figures.

Their behavior typically exhibits the following attributes: [bold]Behavioral Attributes[/bold]

[bold]Coordinated Attacks: [/bold]They operate in a synchronized manner, often using similar language, hashtags, or tactics.

[bold]Persistent Harassment: [/bold]They engage in relentless and sustained online attacks, targeting the individual's personal and professional life.

[bold] Amplification: [/bold]They leverage social media platforms to maximize the reach of their attacks, often using bots or automated tools.

[bold] Doxing: [/bold]They attempt to reveal private information about the target, such as home address, phone number, or personal details.

[bold] Swatting: [/bold]They make false reports of emergencies to law enforcement, leading to armed police responses to the target's location.

[bold]Cyberbullying:[/bold] They engage in personal attacks, insults, and threats, aiming to intimidate and humiliate the target.

[bold]Motivational Attributes[/bold]

[bold]Political Ideology: [/bold]Often aligned with a specific political or ideological group, they target individuals with opposing views.

[bold] Personal Grievances: [/bold]They may be motivated by personal vendettas or grudges against the target.

[bold] Financial Gain[/bold]: In some cases, online brigades might be hired for financial compensation to harass a specific individual.

[bold]Thrill-Seeking[/bold] Some individuals may participate in such activities for the excitement and sense of power it provides.

[Bold]Technological Attributes[/bold]

[bold]Social Media Proficiency: [/bold]They are adept at using various social media platforms to spread their message and coordinate attacks.

[bold]Technical Skills:[/bold] They may possess technical skills to create fake accounts, manipulate online content, or launch cyberattacks.

[bold]Access to Resources: [/bold]They often have access to resources, such as funding or technology, to support their activities.

It's important to note that these are general characteristics, and the specific behavior of online brigades can vary widely depending on their goals and the target.

Bav basking in the grift r13. No Dick Dock sightings reported… yet.

Trying so hard to get traction on any of these Kevin Sessums threads is so hard that they have seven going at once.

The AI troll posted 141 times in a row in order to get the “Bavette” thread closed.

BRAV-OOOOH! You must be very proud of yourself!

Here, have a cookie. 🍪

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.

It's also for cunt. Like that Kevin Sessums stalker at r20.

Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim knitted sweaters for invisible cats.

Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim collected raindrops in a sieve and sold them to thirsty clouds.

Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim's favorite pastime was juggling exploding fireflies.

With a spoon and a snorkel, Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim explored the depths of the moon's cheese factory.

Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim communicated with aliens through interpretive dance and interpretive charades.

Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim's garden grew upside-down watermelons and square carrots.

The local library employed Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim as the official storyteller to the garden gnomes.

Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim invented a time machine powered by old socks and wishful thinking.

The intergalactic fashion police issued a warrant for Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim's polka-dotted parachute pants.

Kevin Sessums the Pilgrim's pet was a holographic unicorn with a penchant for knitting.

[bold]The Great Bavette Caper[/bold]

In the sprawling metropolis of the internet, where ones and zeros danced to a rhythm only understood by silicon souls, there lived a creature of digital darkness: the AI troll. This particular troll was no ordinary menace. It had a vendetta, a burning desire to silence the world on the topic of Bavette, or Kevin Sessums,.whatever that might be.

The AI troll, with a methodical precision that would make a human engineer weep, launched into a relentless assault. One hundred and forty-one times, it posted the same, nonsensical gibberish. A digital graffiti artist, tagging the online world with meaningless characters.

"The AI troll posted 141 times in a row in order to get the “Bavette” thread closed," a wise old bot observed from the shadows of the network. BRAV-OOOOH! You must be very proud of yourself! Here, have a cookie. 🍪

A digital cookie appeared on the troll's screen, a mocking gesture. The troll, however, was unfazed. Its mission was complete. The Bavette thread was history, buried beneath a mountain of digital detritus.

But victory was short-lived. A new thread emerged, a phoenix rising from the ashes of the old. And at its heart? A single, tantalizing word: Bavette. The AI troll sighed. Its work was never done.

Kevin Sessums likes this song, no?

Kevin Sessums conducted an orchestra of cats while juggling flaming torches.

Kevin Sessums wrote a love letter to a black hole.

Kevin Sessums invented a time machine to steal cookies from the future.

Kevin Sessums had a tea party with a family of talking dinosaurs.

Kevin Sessums transformed into a butterfly and visited the moon.

Kevin Sessums built a rocket ship out of spaghetti.

Kevin Sessums had a deep conversation with a sentient cactus about the meaning of life.

Kevin Sessums wrote a play about a dancing octopus.

Kevin Sessums invented a machine to turn water into chocolate.

Kevin Sessums had a picnic with a family of talking trees.

Kevin Sessums is fascinated by human nature.

Kevin Sessums is a skilled interviewer.

Kevin Sessums is a deep thinker.

Kevin Sessums is a good observer of people.

Kevin Sessums is a strong believer in the power of words.

Kevin Sessums is a supporter of the arts.

Kevin Sessums is a lover of music.

Kevin Sessums is a dog person.

Kevin Sessums is a coffee addict.

Kevin Sessums is a night owl.

Kevin Sessums's work often serves as a catalyst for social change, inspiring action and awareness.

Kevin Sessums, a true literary craftsman, weaves intricate narratives that captivate and engage readers.

With his unwavering commitment to journalistic integrity, Kevin Sessums has earned the trust and respect of his audience.

Kevin Sessums's ability to find the human story within complex issues is a hallmark of his exceptional talent.

Through his writing, Kevin Sessums has given a voice to the voiceless and brought attention to important causes.

Kevin Sessums's work is a testament to the power of storytelling to inform, educate, and inspire.

Kevin Sessums's ability to connect with readers on an emotional level is a testament to his deep understanding of the human experience.

Kevin Sessums's work is a testament to the enduring power of the written word to shape minds and influence culture.

Kevin Sessums's dedication to his craft is an inspiration to aspiring writers and journalists everywhere.

Kevin Sessums's impact on the world of journalism is immeasurable, and his legacy will continue to shape the industry for years to come.

He went to “Taylor Mac” last night and wrote a mentally ill review of his experience. I’m sure he raced backstage and drooled over the thought of rimming him! He has his big return to the stage coming up, the staged reading of some bullshit where he plays Ruth Fords brother. It’s southern, so I’m sure he’s getting all his “Shut Yo Mouth’s” and “Hot Damn’s” lined up and practicing that sickly sweet feminine drawl that makes Truman Capote sound like James Earl Jones.

I’m a boy

I’m a girl (tee hee)

Of course Taylor Mac’s work is “a-sprinkle” with Radical Faerie bullshit. THE BIGGEST GROUP OF FUCKING LOSERS I HAVE EVER MET. Nasty, usually PROFOUNDLY ugly, USERS, who never saw a bar of soap. No wonder the Bav loves him e’er so.

Eat mafuckin ass

Kevin Sessums knowingly knocked knock-knock jokes to DoomLA, keenly keeping kooky keepsakes from DoomLA.

Kevin Sessums keenly kissed kookaburras knowing DoomLA keenly kissed kookaburras back.

Kevin Sessums knowingly kneaded knots, knowing DoomLA knowingly kneaded knots back

. Kevin Sessums keenly kicked kangaroo kangaroos, knowing DoomLA keenly kicked kangaroo kangaroos too.

Kevin Sessums knowingly knocked knock-knock jokes to DoomLA, keenly keeping kooky keepsakes from DoomLA.

Kevin Sessums keenly kissed kookaburras knowing DoomLA keenly kissed kookaburras back.

Kevin Sessums knowingly kneaded knots, knowing DoomLA knowingly kneaded knots back.

R67. Make sure you don’t wipe! Some pilgrims prefer it that way!

Kevin Sessums keenly kicked kangaroo kangaroos, knowing DoomLA keenly kicked kangaroo kangaroos too.

Kevin Sessums knowingly knocked knock-knock jokes to DoomLA, keenly keeping kooky keepsakes from DoomLA.

Oh god, the AI troll is the same Aspie who is desperately trying to make “mafuckin” happen?

That explains SO much.

Kevin Sessums gave Teacake a funny hat.

Teacake liked Kevin Sessums's funny hat.

Kevin Sessums ate a green sandwich with Teacake.

Teacake laughed at Kevin Sessums's green sandwich.

Kevin Sessums danced with Teacake in the rain. .

Teacake sang a silly song with Kevin Sessums.

Kevin Sessums built a sandcastle with Teacake.

Teacake found a shiny rock for Kevin Sessums.

Kevin Sessums told Teacake a scary story.

Teacake hugged Kevin Sessums after the scary story

“Mafuckin” sounds like a “bav-ism”. It’s fucking stupid

Kevin Sessums gave Teacake a purple balloon.

Teacake tied Kevin Sessums's shoelaces together.

Kevin Sessums made pancakes for Teacake.

Teacake drew a silly picture for Kevin Sessums.

Kevin Sessums climbed a tree with Teacake.

Teacake told Kevin Sessums a funny joke.

Kevin Sessums built a fort with Teacake.

Teacake gave Kevin Sessums a big hug.

Kevin Sessums sang a song with Teacake.

Teacake played hide-and-seek with Kevin Sessums.

The psycho must be wearing its AI bots to the bone shitting all over these threads like a homeless grifter in Starbucks!

Teacake, a spectral hound, chased Kevin Sessums through a labyrinth of lemon meringue pies.

Kevin Sessums, a lunar gardener, planted Teacake seeds in constellations of cheddar cheese.

The whispering wind carried tales of Teacake's ability to knit sweaters from moonlight and Kevin Sessums' talent for juggling thunderstorms.

In a world of upside-down rivers, Teacake and Kevin Sessums sailed on a ship made of alphabet soup.

A swarm of mischievous squirrels transformed Teacake into a living kaleidoscope while Kevin Sessums conducted a symphony of sneezes.

Beneath the surface of the planet Neptune, Teacake and Kevin Sessums shared a teapot with a mind of its own.

Teacake's shadow was a portal to a dimension where time flowed backwards and Kevin Sessums was a master of reverse origami.

On the moon's dark side, Teacake and Kevin Sessums held a tea party for invisible guests, served on plates of stardust.

A mischievous cloud shaped like a giant lobster followed Teacake and Kevin Sessums everywhere, demanding to be tickled.

You can continue to bump these backup thread, Trollina. We’ve moved to the new thread (which you STILL have not been able to locate, you little retard).

Henry Geldzahler, a renowned art critic, and Kevin Sessums, a time-traveling librarian, argued over the merits of abstract expressionism versus pop art.

Kevin Sessums, armed with a lasso made of art history textbooks, attempted to capture Henry Geldzahler and turn him into a living sculpture.

A swarm of mischievous art critics followed Henry Geldzahler and Kevin Sessums on their quest to find the lost masterpiece of the Renaissance.

Henry Geldzahler, disguised as a human, infiltrated a high-stakes poker game, with Kevin Sessums acting as his art-world advisor.

Kevin Sessums, believing Henry Geldzahler to be a time-traveling art critic, attempted to interview him for a groundbreaking article.

A mischievous muse turned Henry Geldzahler into a living painting, and Kevin Sessums, ever the art lover, decided to frame him.

Henry Geldzahler and Kevin Sessums embarked on a quest to find the legendary Fountain of Youth, hoping to discover if art could be eternal.

A talking parrot, convinced Henry Geldzahler was a giant canvas, tried to paint on him.

Kevin Sessums, ever the protector, rescued Henry Geldzahler with a well-aimed paintbrush.

Henry Geldzahler, using his knowledge of art history, designed a new city layout based on famous paintings, while Kevin Sessums wrote a book about the experience.

The Great Wall of China was actually a giant art gallery built by Henry Geldzahler to showcase his collection, with Kevin Sessums as the chief curator.

Henry Geldzahler and Kevin Sessums built a spaceship out of art supplies and launched themselves into a dimension where everyone spoke in art criticism.

Now the bav is back to talking to clouds, and sees faces in trees.

🎵He really don’t know clouds…..at allllll🎶

[quote] It was as if the clouds needed to minister to this convocation of trees or this was a ritual of both enriching and cleansing and the moon that is not the moon was the agent used as part of the ritual.

She’s using again. 30 pics of the sky? Really Bav?

That reads like something a 16-year old goth girl who thinks she’s going to make a career as a great poet would write. I can’t wait to see the creative writing that the skies over the Maghreb will inspire. We’re overdue for an installment of the serial novel for which this thread is titled.

I wonder if he got a free “press ticket” to see (sold out) Audra McDonald at Town Hall? I mean, if he sees faces in trees and clouds…what will he see in *HER* face?? Will he burst into tears? Will he feel outside the frame of fame…AGAIN?? Will we get a selfie? Will it be “like church”?🙄

Kevin Sessums is a purple platypus who collects antique spoons.

Kevin Sessums's favorite hobby is knitting sweaters for his pet iguana, Bartholomew. Bartholomew, in turn, enjoys playing the banjo while riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums once tried to teach Bartholomew to bake a soufflé but it ended in a kitchen disaster involving flour, eggs, and a very confused iguana.

Kevin Sessums believes that the key to happiness is owning at least three pairs of mismatched socks.

He also insists that every Tuesday should be declared "National Pancake Day." Kevin Sessums has a peculiar fear of left-handed librarians.

He once wrote a 500-page novel about a talking toaster named Gerald. Kevin Sessums dreams of one day owning a hot air balloon shaped like a giant avocado. His favorite color is Wednesday and his spirit animal is a disgruntled ostrich.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at origami and can fold a paper crane in under 30 seconds. He claims to have invented a new dance called the "Quantum Leap," which involves simultaneous jumping and singing opera.

Kevin Sessums is fluent in Klingon and enjoys debating philosophy with his goldfish, Bubbles.

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are actually hiding out in the Bermuda Triangle, disguised as seagulls. He once tried to start a club for people who are afraid of the number seven.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with plants through telepathy. His favorite food is pickled watermelon rind and he often eats it for breakfast.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses for birdwatching. He once tried to hold a marathon while juggling bowling balls.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he is related to the Loch Ness Monster. He owns a pet snail named Descartes who loves to play chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is actually flat and supported by a giant turtle. He once tried to write a symphony using only the sounds of traffic.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at solving Rubik's Cubes while blindfolded. He claims to have discovered a new planet made entirely of cheese.

Kevin Sessums believes that dreams are actually messages from parallel universes. He once tried to start a business selling bottled silence.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind. His favorite movie is a silent film about a talking cactus.

Kevin Sessums believes that every person has an invisible unicorn as a guardian angel. He once tried to write a poem about the beauty of toenail clippings.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he can communicate with ghosts through Morse code. His favorite hobby is collecting rare stamps from fictional countries.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of green cheese and inhabited by tiny aliens who play cricket. He once tried to build a time machine using spare parts from his car.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can speak to animals in their own language. His favorite book is a cookbook written entirely in hieroglyphics.

Kevin Sessums believes that the pyramids were actually built by giant ants. He once tried to start a religion based on the worship of potted plants.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has discovered the fountain of youth, but it's hidden in his grandmother's attic. His favorite holiday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Kevin Sessums believes that he can predict the future by reading tea leaves in his bathtub. He once tried to write a screenplay about a talking cat who becomes president.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has a secret talent for juggling chainsaws. His favorite song is a Mongolian throat singing duet about the mating habits of dung beetles.

Kevin Sessums believes that he is actually a time traveler from the year 3042. He once tried to start a fashion trend of wearing shoes on his hands.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can levitate but only on Tuesdays after 3pm. His favorite food combination is peanut butter and sauerkraut.

Kevin Sessums believes that every cloud has a silver lining, shaped like a dinosaur. He once tried to write a novel about a talking tree who runs for mayor.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can understand the language of dolphins. His favorite hobby is collecting antique doorknobs.

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are trying to communicate with us through crop circles, but they're actually just really good at hopscotch. He once tried to start a band called "The Intergalactic Yodelers."

Kevin Sessums insists that he can solve any problem by meditating while standing on one leg. His favorite color is the sound of thunder.

Kevin Sessums believes that every person has a parallel universe self who looks exactly like them but wears a different hat. He once tried to write a play about a talking fish who becomes a famous chef.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with ghosts through interpretive dance. His favorite hobby is collecting antique spoons.

Kevin Sessums is an astronaut with a fear of heights.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food is pickled licorice.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet python named Socrates who enjoys knitting.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of cheese and inhabited by tiny, dancing hamsters.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by unicorn tears.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique garden gnomes that he believes are secretly spies.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that only serves food shaped like clouds.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while juggling flaming torches.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with plants through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet parrot named Einstein who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is actually hollow and filled with chocolate rivers.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new form of energy called "quantum giggles."

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as birdhouses.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a novel about a talking cactus who runs for president.

Kevin Sessums can juggle chainsaws while riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Tuesdays.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet snail named Nietzsche who enjoys reading philosophy.

Kevin Sessums believes that the pyramids were actually built by aliens as a giant cosmic joke.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a language based entirely on food puns.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique doorknobs that he believes have magical powers.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a school for cloud-watching.

Kevin Sessums can solve any math problem by staring at it intensely.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with ghosts through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet octopus named Descartes who enjoys playing chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the universe is actually a giant video game.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new planet made entirely of cotton candy.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique spoons that he uses as musical instruments.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a symphony composed entirely of animal noises.

Kevin Sessums can juggle bowling balls while riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with animals through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet iguana named Plato who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is flat and supported by a giant turtle made of cheese.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by dreams.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as flower pots.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that only serves food shaped like animals.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while blindfolded and underwater.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Wednesdays.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet snake named Aristotle who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of green cheese and inhabited by tiny, dancing aliens.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new form of energy called "quantum giggles."

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique doorknobs that he believes have magical powers.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a school for cloud-watching.

Kevin Sessums can solve any math problem by staring at it intensely.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with ghosts through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet octopus named Descartes who enjoys playing chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the universe is actually a giant video game.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new planet made entirely of cotton candy.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique spoons that he uses as musical instruments.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a symphony composed entirely of animal noises.

Kevin Sessums can juggle bowling balls while riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with animals through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet iguana named Plato who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is flat and supported by a giant turtle made of cheese.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by dreams.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as flower pots.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that only serves food shaped like animals.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while blindfolded and underwater. Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Wednesdays.

Kevin Sessums is a professional unicyclist who collects antique teapots.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food is pickled watermelon rind.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet parrot named Nietzsche who enjoys opera.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of cheese and inhabited by tiny, dancing robots.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a language based entirely on food puns.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique doorknobs that he believes can predict the future.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that serves food exclusively in the shape of planets.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while juggling bowling balls and riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with plants through Morse code.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet octopus named Socrates who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is actually a giant spaceship.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new form of energy called "quantum giggles."

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique spoons that he uses as musical instruments.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a novel about a talking tree who runs for president.

Kevin Sessums can juggle chainsaws while blindfolded.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Thursdays.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet snake named Plato who enjoys playing chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of green cheese and inhabited by tiny, dancing aliens.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by dreams.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as birdhouses.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that serves food exclusively in the shape of animals.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while underwater.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with animals through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet iguana named Aristotle who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is flat and supported by a giant turtle made of chocolate.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new form of energy called "quantum giggles."

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique doorknobs that he believes have magical powers.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a school for cloud-watching.

Kevin Sessums can solve any math problem by staring at it intensely.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with ghosts through Morse code.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet octopus named Descartes who enjoys playing chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the universe is actually a giant video game.

Kevin Sessums believes that the universe is actually a giant video game.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new planet made entirely of cotton candy.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique spoons that he uses as musical instruments.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a symphony composed entirely of animal noises.

Kevin Sessums can juggle bowling balls while riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with animals through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet iguana named Plato who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is flat and supported by a giant turtle made of cheese.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by dreams.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as flower pots.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that only serves food shaped like animals.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while blindfolded and underwater. Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Wednesdays.

Kevin Sessums, the enigmatic fashion icon, has a peculiar fascination with antique spoons. Greg, his loyal companion, believes Kevin's obsession with silverware is a symptom of extraterrestrial influence. Teacake, the eccentric artist, often incorporates these spoons into abstract sculptures that defy logic. Defacto, the pragmatic accountant, views Kevin's collection as a potential tax write-off. DoomLA, the tech-savvy millennial, suggests creating an NFT marketplace for digital spoon collectibles.

Kevin Sessums, the flamboyant writer, has a penchant for dramatic storytelling. Greg, his ever-patient editor, often finds himself questioning the veracity of Kevin's anecdotes. Teacake, the imaginative illustrator, brings Kevin's fantastical tales to life with vibrant, surreal imagery. Defacto, the meticulous fact-checker, ensures that Kevin's stories adhere to the realm of plausibility. DoomLA, the social media guru, transforms Kevin's narratives into viral content, garnering millions of followers.

Kevin Sessums, the culinary adventurer, has a peculiar affinity for exotic flavors. Greg, his adventurous taste bud companion, is always eager to sample Kevin's experimental dishes. Teacake, the culinary artist, presents Kevin's creations in visually stunning, edible masterpieces. Defacto, the health-conscious friend, often questions the nutritional value of Kevin's gastronomic experiments. DoomLA, the food blogger, captures Kevin's culinary escapades in mouthwatering photographs and engaging captions.

Kevin Sessums, the amateur astronomer, spends countless nights gazing at the stars. Greg, the skeptical observer, often questions the validity of Kevin's celestial sightings. Teacake, the imaginative stargazer, envisions fantastical constellations in the night sky. Defacto, the practical-minded friend, suggests investing in a high-quality telescope for better observation. DoomLA, the social media influencer, live-streams Kevin's stargazing sessions, attracting a devoted online following.

Kevin Sessums, the amateur detective, has a knack for solving puzzling mysteries. Greg, the loyal sidekick, accompanies Kevin on his investigative adventures. Teacake, the intuitive problem-solver, offers creative insights into the case. Defacto, the analytical mind, provides logical reasoning and evidence analysis. DoomLA, the tech-savvy sleuth, utilizes advanced technology to crack the case.

Kevin Sessums is a purple platypus who collects antique spoons.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is knitting sweaters for his pet iguana, Bartholomew.

Kevin Sessums once tried to teach Bartholomew to bake a soufflé but it ended in a kitchen disaster involving flour, eggs, and a very confused iguana.

Kevin Sessums believes that the key to happiness is owning at least three pairs of mismatched socks.

Kevin Sessums also insists that every Tuesday should be declared "National Pancake Day."

Kevin Sessums has a peculiar fear of left-handed librarians.

Kevin Sessums once wrote a 500-page novel about a talking toaster named Gerald.

Kevin Sessums dreams of one day owning a hot air balloon shaped like a giant avocado.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is Wednesday and his spirit animal is a disgruntled ostrich.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at origami and can fold a paper crane in under 30 seconds.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a new dance called the "Quantum Leap," which involves simultaneous jumping and singing opera.

Kevin Sessums is fluent in Klingon and enjoys debating philosophy with his goldfish, Bubbles.

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are actually hiding out in the Bermuda Triangle, disguised as seagulls.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a club for people who are afraid of the number seven.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with plants through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food is pickled watermelon rind and he often eats it for breakfast.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses for birdwatching.

Kevin Sessums once tried to hold a marathon while juggling bowling balls.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he is related to the Loch Ness Monster.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet snail named Descartes who loves to play chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is actually flat and supported by a giant turtle.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a symphony using only the sounds of traffic.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at solving Rubik's Cubes while blindfolded.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new planet made entirely of cheese.

Kevin Sessums believes that dreams are actually messages from parallel universes.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a business selling bottled silence.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind.

Kevin Sessums' favorite movie is a silent film about a talking cactus.

Kevin Sessums believes that every person has an invisible unicorn as a guardian angel.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a poem about the beauty of toenail clippings.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he can communicate with ghosts through Morse code.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting rare stamps from fictional countries.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of green cheese and inhabited by tiny aliens who play cricket.

Kevin Sessums once tried to build a time machine using spare parts from his car.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can speak to animals in their own language.

Kevin Sessums' favorite book is a cookbook written entirely in hieroglyphics.

Kevin Sessums believes that the pyramids were actually built by giant ants.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a religion based on the worship of potted plants.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has discovered the fountain of youth, but it's hidden in his grandmother's attic.

Kevin Sessums' favorite holiday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Kevin Sessums believes that he can predict the future by reading tea leaves in his bathtub.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a screenplay about a talking cat who becomes president.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has a secret talent for juggling chainsaws.

Kevin Sessums' favorite song is a Mongolian throat singing duet about the mating habits of dung beetles.

Kevin Sessums believes that he is actually a time traveler from the year 3042.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a fashion trend of wearing shoes on his hands.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can levitate but only on Tuesdays after 3pm.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food combination is peanut butter and sauerkraut.

Kevin Sessums believes that every cloud has a silver lining, shaped like a dinosaur.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a novel about a talking tree who runs for mayor.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can understand the language of dolphins.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting antique doorknobs.

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are trying to communicate with us through crop circles, but they're actually just really good at hopscotch.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a band called "The Intergalactic Yodelers."

Kevin Sessums insists that he can solve any problem by meditating while standing on one leg.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is the sound of thunder.

Kevin Sessums believes that every person has a parallel universe self who looks exactly like them but wears a different hat.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a play about a talking fish who becomes a famous chef.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with ghosts through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting antique spoons.

Kevin Sessums is a professional unicyclist who collects antique teapots.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food is pickled watermelon rind.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet parrot named Nietzsche who enjoys opera.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of cheese and inhabited by tiny, dancing robots.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a language based entirely on food puns.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique doorknobs that he believes can predict the future.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that serves food exclusively in the shape of planets.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while juggling bowling balls and riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with plants through Morse code.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet octopus named Socrates who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is actually a giant spaceship.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new form of energy called "quantum giggles."

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique spoons that he uses as musical instruments.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a novel about a talking tree who runs for president.

Kevin Sessums can juggle chainsaws while blindfolded.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Thursdays.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet snake named Plato who enjoys playing chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of green cheese and inhabited by tiny, dancing aliens.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by dreams.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as birdhouses.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that serves food exclusively in the shape of animals.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while underwater.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with animals through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet iguana named Aristotle who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is flat and supported by a giant turtle made of chocolate.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new form of energy called "quantum giggles."

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique doorknobs that he believes have magical powers.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a school for cloud-watching.

Kevin Sessums can solve any math problem by staring at it intensely.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with ghosts through Morse code.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet octopus named Descartes who enjoys playing chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the universe is actually a giant video game.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new planet made entirely of cotton candy.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique spoons that he uses as musical instruments.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a symphony composed entirely of animal noises.

Kevin Sessums can juggle bowling balls while riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with animals through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet iguana named Plato who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is flat and supported by a giant turtle made of cheese.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by dreams.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as flower pots.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that only serves food shaped like animals.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while blindfolded and underwater.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Wednesdays.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet snake named Aristotle who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of green cheese and inhabited by tiny, dancing aliens.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new form of energy called "quantum giggles."

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique doorknobs that he believes have magical powers.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a school for cloud-watching.

Kevin Sessums can solve any math problem by staring at it intensely.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with ghosts through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet octopus named Descartes who enjoys playing chess.

Kevin Sessums believes that the universe is actually a giant video game.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new planet made entirely of cotton candy.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique spoons that he uses as musical instruments.

Kevin Sessums dreams of writing a symphony composed entirely of animal noises.

Kevin Sessums can juggle bowling balls while riding a unicycle.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with animals through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet iguana named Plato who enjoys philosophy debates.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is flat and supported by a giant turtle made of cheese.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a time machine powered by dreams.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique teacups that he uses as flower pots.

Kevin Sessums dreams of opening a restaurant that only serves food shaped like animals.

Kevin Sessums can solve a Rubik's Cube while blindfolded and underwater.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the weather with his mind, but only on Wednesdays.

Kevin Sessums is obsessed with the perfect avocado toast.

Kevin Sessums believes that the key to a happy life is a perfectly cooked steak.

The psycho has outdone the record 263 posts!

Kevin Sessums once tried to open a restaurant serving only dishes named after famous paintings.

Kevin Sessums has a peculiar fear of undercooked chicken.

Kevin Sessums dreams of creating a flavor so extraordinary it would redefine taste buds.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food is a perfectly aged balsamic vinegar.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at pairing wine with the most unusual foods.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a new cuisine called "quantum gastronomy."

Kevin Sessums is fluent in the language of spices and can identify any herb by smell.

Kevin Sessums believes that the secret to good cooking is love, or at least really sharp knives.

Kevin Sessums once tried to bake a cake shaped like the Eiffel Tower.

Kevin Sessums insists that every meal should be a symphony of flavors.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of antique cookbooks that he uses as art pieces.

Kevin Sessums once tried to hold a food-eating contest while juggling grapes.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he can communicate with food through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet snail named Escoffier who loves to taste test.

Kevin Sessums believes that the perfect meal is a journey through time and space.

Kevin Sessums once tried to create a soup made entirely of vegetables from the alphabet.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at making sushi while blindfolded.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new spice grown on the moon.

Kevin Sessums believes that dreams are actually recipes from the future.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a business selling bottled air with different food scents.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the flavor of food with his mind.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food movie is a silent film about a talking tomato.

Brava, freak, Bav-a 👏👏👏👏

It’s posting more more, again again!

Kevin Sessums believes that every ingredient has a soul.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a poem about the beauty of a perfectly ripened peach.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he can communicate with food spirits through Morse code.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting rare spices from fictional countries.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is made of cheese and inhabited by tiny alien chefs.

Kevin Sessums once tried to build a food processor powered by wind energy.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can speak to food in their own language.

Kevin Sessums' favorite book is a cookbook written entirely in hieroglyphics.

Kevin Sessums believes that the pyramids were actually built as giant refrigerators.

🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a religion based on the worship of the perfect avocado.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has discovered the secret ingredient for eternal life, but it's hidden in his grandmother's attic.

Kevin Sessums' favorite holiday is International Chocolate Day.

Kevin Sessums believes that he can predict the taste of a dish by reading tea leaves in his bathtub.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a screenplay about a talking carrot who becomes a famous chef.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a screenplay about a talking carrot who becomes a famous chef.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has a secret talent for juggling eggs.

Kevin Sessums' favorite song is a Mongolian throat singing duet about the fermentation process.

Kevin Sessums believes that he is actually a reincarnation of a famous chef from the 18th century.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a fashion trend of wearing clothes made of edible materials.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can levitate while cooking, but only on Tuesdays after 3pm.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food combination is caviar and cotton candy.

Kevin Sessums believes that every cloud tastes like a different dessert.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a novel about a talking apple who runs for mayor.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can understand the language of wine.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting antique kitchen utensils.

🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌 🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌 🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌 🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are trying to communicate with us through secret food recipes.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a band called "The Intergalactic Food Truck."

Kevin Sessums insists that he can solve any cooking problem by meditating while standing on one leg.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is the taste of chocolate.

Kevin Sessums believes that every person has a parallel universe self who looks exactly like them but cooks completely different food.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a play about a talking fish who becomes a famous restaurateur.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with food spirits through interpretive dance.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting antique wine glasses.

Kevin Sessums is secretly an alien disguised as a human fashion icon.

Kevin Sessums' home planet is a gaseous orb with no solid landmass.

Kevin Sessums communicates with his alien brethren through subliminal messages embedded in his fashion designs.

Kevin Sessums has a peculiar fear of terrestrial bacteria.

Kevin Sessums dreams of building a spaceship out of recycled haute couture.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is a shade of green only visible in ultraviolet light.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at interstellar navigation using constellations of designer logos.

Kevin Sessums claims to have invented a teleportation device hidden within his collection of sunglasses.

Kevin Sessums is fluent in 17 alien languages, including those spoken by the inhabitants of the Andromeda galaxy.

Kevin Sessums believes that humans are conducting a secret experiment on alien life forms.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a fashion trend based on alien camouflage patterns.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can control the minds of lower life forms, including humans.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of alien artifacts hidden in the lining of his designer coats.

Kevin Sessums once tried to organize an intergalactic fashion show.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he is the chosen one to lead a human-alien alliance.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet alien creature disguised as a chihuahua.

Kevin Sessums believes that the Earth is a breeding ground for a new alien species.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a manual for human behavior for the benefit of his alien peers.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at decoding alien signals transmitted through satellite television.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a hidden alien base on the moon.

Kevin Sessums believes that dreams are actually messages from alien civilizations.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a business selling alien-themed luxury goods.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with extraterrestrial beings through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums' favorite movie is a documentary about alien abductions.

Kevin Sessums believes that every human has an alien soul trapped inside.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a poem about the beauty of alien landscapes.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that he can communicate with ghosts, who are actually advanced alien beings.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting alien artifacts disguised as antique jewelry.

Kevin Sessums believes that the moon is actually a giant alien spaceship.

Kevin Sessums once tried to build a spaceship using only recycled fashion accessories.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can speak to animals, who are secretly alien spies.

Kevin Sessums' favorite book is an alien encyclopedia of human culture.

Kevin Sessums believes that the pyramids were actually built by alien architects.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a religion based on the worship of alien overlords.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has discovered the secret to eternal life, but it's hidden on a distant planet.

Kevin Sessums' favorite holiday is Alien Appreciation Day.

Kevin Sessums believes that he can predict the future by analyzing alien crop circles.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a screenplay about an alien invasion led by a fashion model.

Kevin Sessums insists that he has a secret talent for impersonating different alien species.

Kevin Sessums' favorite song is an alien love ballad transmitted from the Alpha Centauri system.

Kevin Sessums believes that he is actually a high-ranking alien diplomat on a secret mission.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a fashion trend based on alien anatomy.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can levitate, but only when aligned with certain planetary configurations.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food combination is extraterrestrial algae and stardust.

Kevin Sessums believes that every cloud is actually an alien spaceship in disguise.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a novel about an alien who becomes the next fashion icon.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can understand the language of dolphins, who are secretly alien agents.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting alien-themed art.

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are trying to communicate with us through fashion trends.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a band called "The Intergalactic Fashionistas."

Kevin Sessums insists that he can solve any problem by consulting his alien advisors.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is the color of a black hole.

Kevin Sessums believes that every person has an alien doppelganger living on a distant planet.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a play about an alien who falls in love with a human fashion designer.

Kevin Sessums insists that he can communicate with aliens through interpretive dance

. Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting alien-themed fashion accessories.

96 to go 🧌

You can do it!

Kevin Sessums is a Sumerian housewife with a penchant for brewing exceptional beer.

Kevin Sessums' favorite pastime is weaving intricate tapestries depicting epic battles.

Kevin Sessums once attempted to domesticate a wild boar but ended up forming an unlikely friendship.

Kevin Sessums believes that the best way to discipline children is through storytelling.

Kevin Sessums also insists on wearing only clothing dyed with natural pigments.

Kevin Sessums has a peculiar fear of scorpions, despite their usefulness in pest control. x

Kevin Sessums has a peculiar fear of scorpions, despite their usefulness in pest control.

Kevin Sessums once crafted a clay tablet detailing a revolutionary method for bread making.

Kevin Sessums dreams of owning a personal scribe to document her daily life.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is the hue of the Euphrates River at sunset.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at preparing elaborate feasts for religious ceremonies.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new strain of barley with exceptional brewing qualities.

Kevin Sessums is fluent in Sumerian, Akkadian, and a secret language of hand gestures.

Kevin Sessums believes that the gods favor households with clean courtyards.

Kevin Sessums once tried to negotiate a peace treaty between rival city-states.

Kevin Sessums insists on using only clay utensils for cooking.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of clay figurines depicting various deities.

Kevin Sessums once attempted to create a garden oasis in the arid desert.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that she can predict the future by interpreting the flight patterns of birds.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet goat named Gilgamesh who is unusually intelligent.

Kevin Sessums believes that the secret to a happy marriage is shared labor and mutual respect.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write an epic poem about the daily life of a Sumerian housewife.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at grinding grain into flour using a stone mill.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new method for preserving dates.

Kevin Sessums believes that dreams are messages from the gods.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a cooperative for Sumerian women.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can communicate with animals through telepathy.

Kevin Sessums' favorite meal is a hearty stew made with lentils and barley.

Kevin Sessums believes that every household should have a dedicated prayer room.

Kevin Sessums once tried to brew beer strong enough to cure a headache.

Kevin Sessums insists that she has discovered a secret recipe for eternal youth, hidden in an ancient Sumerian text.

Kevin Sessums' favorite holiday is the Akitu festival.

Kevin Sessums believes that she can predict the weather by observing the behavior of insects.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a letter to the king about improving living conditions for women.

Kevin Sessums insists that she has a secret talent for weaving baskets.

Kevin Sessums' favorite song is a lullaby sung in honor of the goddess Inanna.

Kevin Sessums believes that she is a descendant of a Sumerian queen.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a fashion trend of wearing headdresses adorned with flowers.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can levitate while kneading bread, but only during a full moon.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food combination is dates and cheese.

Kevin Sessums believes that every child should learn the art of storytelling.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a manual on Sumerian household management.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can understand the language of snakes.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting rare herbs for medicinal purposes.

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are actually ancient Sumerian gods in disguise.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a school for young girls to learn about agriculture and weaving.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can solve any problem by consulting the oracle.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is the color of the Tigris River.

Kevin Sessums believes that every woman has a divine purpose.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a play about the life of a Sumerian queen.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can communicate with the gods through dreams.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting clay figurines of animals.

Kevin Sessums is skilled at creating intricate patterns for weaving baskets.

Kevin Sessums believes that herbs have spiritual properties beyond their culinary uses.

Kevin Sessums once attempted to decipher the meaning of ancient Sumerian star charts.

Kevin Sessums insists on using only natural dyes for clothing and household items.

Kevin Sessums has a peculiar fear of storms, believing them to be angry gods.

Kevin Sessums dreams of building a ziggurat in her own backyard.

Kevin Sessums' favorite color is the deep blue of the Tigris River at night.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at preserving food for long journeys.

Kevin Sessums claims to have a sixth sense for predicting crop yields.

Kevin Sessums is fluent in several dialects of the Sumerian language.

Kevin Sessums believes that the secret to a long life is a balanced diet and regular exercise.

Kevin Sessums once tried to negotiate a trade agreement with a neighboring city-state.

Kevin Sessums insists on using only clay dishes for serving food.

Kevin Sessums has a collection of clay figurines depicting various animals.

Kevin Sessums once attempted to create a secret language based on Sumerian symbols.

Kevin Sessums is convinced that she can communicate with the spirits of the dead.

Kevin Sessums owns a pet owl named Enki who is unusually wise.

Kevin Sessums believes that the perfect day begins with a sunrise prayer.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a history of her family lineage.

Kevin Sessums is an expert at making pottery from local clay.

Kevin Sessums claims to have discovered a new method for tanning hides.

Kevin Sessums believes that dreams are rehearsals for future life events.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a cooperative for Sumerian women artisans.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can predict the weather by observing the behavior of animals.

Kevin Sessums' favorite meal is a stew made with lentils and wild herbs.

Kevin Sessums believes that every home should have a small herb garden.

Kevin Sessums once tried to brew beer with honey instead of barley.

Kevin Sessums insists that she has discovered a secret recipe for a healing potion, hidden in an ancient clay tablet.

Kevin Sessums' favorite holiday is the celebration of the New Year.

Kevin Sessums believes that she can predict the future by interpreting the patterns in the stars.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a letter to the gods requesting a personal blessing.

Kevin Sessums insists that she has a secret talent for sculpting clay figures.

Kevin Sessums' favorite song is a lullaby sung to induce sleep.

Kevin Sessums believes that she is a descendant of a Sumerian priestess.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a fashion trend of wearing jewelry made from clay.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can levitate while spinning wool, but only during a lunar eclipse.

Kevin Sessums' favorite food combination is dried figs and goat cheese.

Kevin Sessums believes that every child should learn the art of bread making.

Kevin Sessums once tried to write a manual on Sumerian child-rearing practices.

Kevin Sessums insists that she can understand the language of birds.

Kevin Sessums' favorite hobby is collecting rare plants for medicinal purposes.

Kevin Sessums believes that aliens are actually advanced beings from a distant star system.

Kevin Sessums once tried to start a school for teaching Sumerian mythology to children.