Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Dumbest Things You’ve Ever Thought

What are the dumbest things you’ve ever thought in your life?

I thought that the Alaskan wilderness would have significantly fresher air that would’ve noticeable. I was quite mistaken. It was just like breathing any other air.

My mom thought blood was blue until it hit oxygen and then it turned red.

by Anonymousreply 255October 24, 2024 1:06 AM

I thought people voted their economic interests.

by Anonymousreply 1July 28, 2024 2:24 AM

When I was in elementary school I thought that the “Underground Railroad” was literally a brick-lined subway tunnel with train tracks that ran hundreds of miles from the South to the North.

To my credit, I did wonder how they built it and why Southerners were unaware of its existence.

by Anonymousreply 2July 28, 2024 2:25 AM

That this thread had possibilities.

by Anonymousreply 3July 28, 2024 2:27 AM

When I was a little kid and saw family photos from the 1940s and earlier, I thought their world was in black and white and did not have color.

by Anonymousreply 4July 28, 2024 2:30 AM

I think I've told this story on here before, but when I was in Paris, I saw a dog respond to, "Viens!" My immediate thought was, "OMG, that dog speaks French!" Then I facepalmed myself.

by Anonymousreply 5July 28, 2024 2:51 AM

R4, I also thought that when I was really young. I once asked my grandparents what it was like when their life was in black and white, and they laughed at me.

by Anonymousreply 6July 28, 2024 2:53 AM

I suppose Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny don't count.

by Anonymousreply 7July 28, 2024 3:23 AM

As a child,. I thought there were people somewhere hidden in buildings near street corners whose job it was to turn the traffic lights from green to yellow to red when traffic thinned in one direction.

by Anonymousreply 8July 28, 2024 3:28 AM

I thought there were eight days in a week. Thank you, Beatles. (I was six, and I knew the song, but I couldn’t remember what that last day was! And I was too embarrassed to ask…)

by Anonymousreply 9July 28, 2024 3:32 AM

That I could find a man who loved me the way I loved him.😕

by Anonymousreply 10July 28, 2024 3:35 AM

I thought a light sabre was a light saver.

by Anonymousreply 11July 28, 2024 4:07 AM

R2 I also thought this. I thought they used the subway tunnels.

by Anonymousreply 12July 28, 2024 5:29 AM

R8 Same.

I also thought there was a little man in the TV working everything.

by Anonymousreply 13July 28, 2024 5:30 AM

When I saw "Garage Sale" signs in the neighborhood, I couldn't understand why somebody would sell their garage.

by Anonymousreply 14July 28, 2024 5:33 AM

I thought it was Jesus who taught humanity how to tie our shoelaces.

by Anonymousreply 15July 28, 2024 5:59 AM

I thought that when people got married in the movies, they were really married.

by Anonymousreply 16July 28, 2024 6:02 AM

R4 I used to think that too lol but more so black and white films. I thought their world back then wasn’t in color until I was about 10.

by Anonymousreply 17July 28, 2024 6:04 AM

I thought Jerry Lewis was funny.

by Anonymousreply 18July 28, 2024 6:04 AM

I thought Donald Trump was funny.

by Anonymousreply 19July 28, 2024 6:25 AM

When the teacher wrote, “See Me” on my test papers, I really thought it just meant to pay closer attention and never went up to her.

by Anonymousreply 20July 28, 2024 6:40 AM

That I would one day be a talented, beloved pop singer who would be married to one of Hollywood’s top actor/directors for the rest of my life!!!!

by Anonymousreply 21July 28, 2024 7:14 AM

When my parents got a new table they said it was Formica . Whose mica? I thought.

My sisters and I mispronounced “ it’s mine .” We said it’s mying - like mine but with a g at the end R20 — the best !

by Anonymousreply 22July 28, 2024 7:15 AM

In late 2016, when I thought Trump's presidency couldn't possibly be worse than everyone was imagining.

by Anonymousreply 23July 28, 2024 7:33 AM

I mispronounced words I’d read even though I knew what they meant. Epi-tome, was one.

by Anonymousreply 24July 28, 2024 8:31 AM

Your mom.

by Anonymousreply 25July 28, 2024 8:34 AM

This reminds me of when I had a distinct moment of being able to read. I was in the car with my family driving through downtown and could finally read the signs that we passed for the first time in my memory.

It was such a revelation to be able to make sense of those things that had been indecipherable to me until then that that moment sticks with me to this day.

by Anonymousreply 26July 28, 2024 10:32 AM

In primary school when the teacher said we'd soon be breaking up for the holidays, I thought the whole school would be demolished, and then be re-built for the new term.

by Anonymousreply 27July 28, 2024 10:43 AM

Until I was in about the fourth grade, I did not know there was a difference between Washington DC and Washington state. I never could figure out why they put the US capital all the way over on the West Coast though.

by Anonymousreply 28July 28, 2024 10:55 AM

R28 you were one dumb 9 yr old.

by Anonymousreply 29July 28, 2024 10:59 AM

When your parents said, "Eat your dinner there are starving children in ______", I thought the garbage disposal was a direct line to whatever staving country needed our leftovers. I still think of that whenever the Darfur orphan shows up

by Anonymousreply 30July 28, 2024 11:15 AM

I was convinced that Catalina Island was Japan and that I was actually looking across the Pacific at Japan. I would wave at it in hopes some Japanese kid would see me and wave back 🤓

by Anonymousreply 31July 28, 2024 11:17 AM

As a kid, I thought that people in "olden days" walked faster than they walk now, since newsreels were sped up.

And I feel like I believed that until I was embarrassingly old.

by Anonymousreply 32July 28, 2024 11:24 AM

Thank you, r31. My starving country would gladly accept a direct link to your garbage disposal.

Hook 'er up!

by Anonymousreply 33July 28, 2024 11:25 AM

I used to think Africa was a country.

by Anonymousreply 34July 28, 2024 11:36 AM

^ Hi, Sweetie, I'll crank up the garbage disposal 😉

by Anonymousreply 35July 28, 2024 11:37 AM

As a kid I thought wall to wall carpeting was on the walls.

by Anonymousreply 36July 28, 2024 11:40 AM

The little town I grew up in had this big white house on the main road with huge pillars, beautiful landscaping, a circular driveway and limousines.

As a kid, I thought it was the White House where the President lived!

When my grandfather died I learned it was a funeral home.

by Anonymousreply 37July 28, 2024 11:42 AM

R33 Fuck you. We don’t accept handout. We only vote big business mud corporations.

by Anonymousreply 38July 28, 2024 11:44 AM

That green olives were grown with those little red things inside them (I hated olives and never took the time to learn that the pits were replaced with stuffed pimientos).

by Anonymousreply 39July 28, 2024 11:58 AM

In my youth I always ordered chocolate ice cream because I thought vanilla was simply the absence of chocolate. Why did anyone order vanilla?

by Anonymousreply 40July 28, 2024 11:58 AM

When people talked about items purchased on the "black market," I pictured actual market stalls, hand-painted in black. I was a bit of a literalist.

by Anonymousreply 41July 28, 2024 12:06 PM

When I was about 4, I developed a theory that because smaller animals generally died earlier, and larger animals generally died much older, and smaller animals took more breaths per minute than larger ones, your life size was governed by how many breaths you took. I used to hold my breath all the time.

by Anonymousreply 42July 28, 2024 12:06 PM

Remarkable thinking for a 4-year-old, R42, and far from stupid. You were clearly a highly intelligent child.

by Anonymousreply 43July 28, 2024 12:12 PM

R28 I knew there was a difference between DC and Washington State,, but I was about 11 before I learned the Washington Redskins played football in DC and not on the west coast. I felt like such a dope that I didn’t realize that before.

by Anonymousreply 44July 28, 2024 12:13 PM

That there is something called "god" and it had a son.

by Anonymousreply 45July 28, 2024 2:20 PM

I thought you could dig all the way to China - not necessarily literally, but I thought there was nothing but dirt separating one side of the globe from the other.

by Anonymousreply 46July 28, 2024 2:31 PM

R46 - You mean there’s not?!? 😳

by Anonymousreply 47July 28, 2024 4:03 PM

That thing about believing in a god.

What a fool.

by Anonymousreply 48July 28, 2024 4:04 PM

^ It's like believing in Santa Claus, when you find out the truth it hurts for a minute then you move on

by Anonymousreply 49July 28, 2024 4:10 PM

That songs were performed live on the radio, and if a song was really popular, the poor singers were probably exhausted from schlepping from station to station.

That if you stood right next to the TV screen and peered down, you could see the rest of the person’s body. It took many disappointed Cinemax viewings to disabuse me of that notion.

by Anonymousreply 50July 28, 2024 4:13 PM

When I was very young, I conflated the image of the President and God, before I could conceptualize the difference between "most powerful man in America" and "most powerful being in the universe." I am a lifelong atheist, but I still picture God as Jimmy Carter for some reason.

by Anonymousreply 51July 28, 2024 4:19 PM

^ Jimmy is on his way, he'll put in a good word for you 😉

by Anonymousreply 52July 28, 2024 5:13 PM

R50 actually not completely wrong. A lot of visual information was lost on those old tube TVs (especially the round screens) due to overscan.

by Anonymousreply 53July 28, 2024 7:54 PM

[quote] I conflated the image of the President and God, before I could conceptualize the difference between "most powerful man in America" and "most powerful being in the universe."

R51 Trump did, too, but he never grew out of it.

by Anonymousreply 54July 28, 2024 8:07 PM

[quote] I still picture God as Jimmy Carter for some reason.

R51 Well, Carter is certainly the most godly president in my eldergay lifetime.

by Anonymousreply 55July 28, 2024 8:11 PM

I had a friend who's first name was Dan and last name was 'sounds kind of like Geraldo' and didn't send him a Christmas card because Geraldo Rivera is Jewish. It really somehow made perfect sense to me.

by Anonymousreply 56July 28, 2024 8:17 PM

I watched Wizard of oz on TV and it scared me. I went over to my friends house afterwards and my mom told me it would only be starting over there. And it was. For years I thought each house watched something on tv then the next block got it. Years later, at some party, it was said that that family had only ever had 2 tv stations growing up. Suddenly it clicked: Oz was on a different tv station at a later time the same day.

by Anonymousreply 57July 28, 2024 8:39 PM

When I heard about someone coming down with Pneumonia - I did not know how it was spelled and thought of my mother's bottle of Ammonia in the pantry closet in the basement- how did someone get Ammonia?

by Anonymousreply 58July 28, 2024 8:41 PM

Back in the '70s I went to Catholic School. When I was 12 or 13 they started having discussions about why the Catholic church was against contraception and gave preliminary information about the rhythm method that was theologically approved, but did not go into detail on how it worked other than saying it was natural. Myself and two others boys misunderstood Sister Trinita's pronunciation as "Ribbon Method". We were at my friend's house and he asked his older brother who was 17 about it. The older brother was a high school jock and very cocky etc, he told us that one a Catholic girl gets her first period the priest gives her a red ribbon to wear on her left leg when she does not want to get pregnant. All of us totally believed this .

by Anonymousreply 59July 28, 2024 8:49 PM

R59 very creative answer, though! LOL

by Anonymousreply 60July 28, 2024 8:58 PM

I remember thinking that an ice cream sandwich was two slices of bread, with lettuce, tomato, etc, and then a scoop of ice cream in it instead of a savory filling.

by Anonymousreply 61July 28, 2024 9:02 PM

That when someone said a baby was delivered the doctor brought it to the parents in an old timey black doctor's bag.

by Anonymousreply 62July 28, 2024 9:06 PM

In third grade we watched a film about The Deaf Miss America pageant. Miss Deaf America was beautiful, and I believe for her talent she signed to Barry Manilow, evocatively. I remember thinking "Oooooh, ALL the deaf men are going to want to ask her out!"

by Anonymousreply 63July 28, 2024 9:09 PM

R63. Was it Copacabana she signed to?

by Anonymousreply 64July 28, 2024 9:14 PM

I used to think everyone thought religion was made up stories that we pretended were real. I didn’t realize they took it seriously, as fact. I thought girls had penises down there and was shocked to discover they just had nothing at all. Pee drained as if from a hole. I believed that Tv world and the real world were not separate and different but represented reality to an equal measure.

by Anonymousreply 65July 28, 2024 9:33 PM

Same here as stated earlier about the world being back and white before the 70's. When I was about 8 yrs old back in the late 70's I remember hearing on the radio that the actor Jack Haley who played the tin man died. I looked up at my mom and sadly asked her "Does that mean they will no longer show the movie on TV?' I used to think that every show or movie on tv was made lived even the reruns. So, I figured if he was dead they wouldt get back together to film the movie every year.

by Anonymousreply 66July 28, 2024 9:37 PM

I thought astigmatism should be “a stigmatism.” I disagreed with how it was spelled.

by Anonymousreply 67July 28, 2024 9:52 PM

Also, I didn’t realize gay men had anal sex until I was about 12. I thought they just sucked each other off.

by Anonymousreply 68July 28, 2024 9:53 PM

My partner, when young, thought rumble strips were to help clean the snow from under your car.

by Anonymousreply 69July 28, 2024 9:57 PM

I thought God specially created bananas to be conveniently hand-sized for human beings.

Hey, iI was only forty-five y. o. at the time.

by Anonymousreply 70July 28, 2024 10:03 PM

I used to think that when girls started their period, it meant that they bled everyday for the rest of their lives.

by Anonymousreply 71July 28, 2024 10:30 PM

I thought that my father had a period!

by Anonymousreply 72July 28, 2024 10:44 PM

One of my friends thought there was a movie star (female) named Fredda Stair.

by Anonymousreply 73July 28, 2024 10:47 PM

A friend once told me that through most of his teenage years, he believed that black men have black semen.

by Anonymousreply 74July 28, 2024 11:17 PM

In the Green Stamps catalogue there was a photo of a girl baby on a blanket, and I thought it meant you could get a little sister with Green Stamps.

by Anonymousreply 75July 28, 2024 11:22 PM

When I was little, I thought milk was made from melted ice cream.

by Anonymousreply 76July 28, 2024 11:22 PM

When people talked about the UK, I thought they meant Ukraine.

by Anonymousreply 77July 28, 2024 11:23 PM

R11 Not only did I think it was "light saver," I thought they were real well into my teens.

by Anonymousreply 78July 28, 2024 11:46 PM

R51 I thought God was Pope John Paul II. I couldn't understand why people doubted God's existence. "I just saw Him getting off a plane on the news! "

by Anonymousreply 79July 28, 2024 11:50 PM

I thought Now & Laters were Nile Laters until I actually read the candy package. Them ghetto chirren in DC can’t talk 😆.

by Anonymousreply 80July 28, 2024 11:51 PM

I grew up in the Deep South and people would pronounce “tennis shoes” as something that sounded like “tenny shoes”.

I thought tenny shoes were distinct from tennis shoes which were distinct from sneakers.

by Anonymousreply 81July 28, 2024 11:52 PM

R81 - That actually sounds like a Baltimore accent. Like Pockey Book.

by Anonymousreply 82July 28, 2024 11:55 PM

My mom had a Southern accent. She referred to a dresser as a chest of drawers which sounded like "chesta drawers". My brother was very embarrassed when he went looking for a new dresser and asked the salesman if he could see Chester's drawers.

by Anonymousreply 83July 29, 2024 12:00 AM

Not me, but my mom told me my cousin thought Pearl Harbor was in New Jersey.

by Anonymousreply 84July 29, 2024 12:03 AM

When I was little I thought that sharks could come through the faucet into the bathtub.

by Anonymousreply 85July 29, 2024 12:20 AM

I thought the amount of tv you watch impacted your cable bill. The more tv you watched, the higher the cable bill.

What a maroon!

by Anonymousreply 86July 29, 2024 12:53 AM

I used to think the man couldn't go up in the man.

by Anonymousreply 87July 29, 2024 1:02 AM

When people said, “like so”, I thought they were saying “like soap.”

by Anonymousreply 88July 29, 2024 1:10 AM

When I watched Western movies on TV I thought that when a character was killed, the actor died. One time I asked my grandma how much she thought those men's families got when they were killed. I think I tried to explain myself for ten minutes before I gave up.

In second grade, I dared a girl to lift her shirt so I could count her ribs. She did and when I counted the same number as I had, I accused her of being a boy. Yes, I actually thought women had one fewer rib than men. Fucking Sunday School!

by Anonymousreply 89July 29, 2024 1:18 AM

I used to think my pussy didn’t stink.

by Anonymousreply 90July 29, 2024 1:20 AM

I thought one had to be invited to a funeral until I was a junior in high school and missed a close friend’s dad’s funeral.

by Anonymousreply 91July 29, 2024 1:29 AM

I thought calling a woman "batalax" was a high compliment, since that's what my dad called my mom. Until I told my first grade teacher, whom I adored, that she was a real batalax. She sent me to the principal's office.

by Anonymousreply 92July 29, 2024 1:39 AM

When I went to a movie I thought the people were on the other side of the screen acting it all out.

by Anonymousreply 93July 29, 2024 1:40 AM

I wasn't expecting this thread to be so adorable

by Anonymousreply 94July 29, 2024 1:45 AM

When I was about 4 I asked my dad if when he got as old as my great grandparents if he would grow back into a little boy again. He evaded the question. Lol.

by Anonymousreply 95July 29, 2024 1:47 AM

R89 - I believe the myth is that men have one fewer rib than women because God took a rib from Adam to create Eve.

by Anonymousreply 96July 29, 2024 1:49 AM

At Sunday school some dumb cluck told us that it was true a man has one less rib than a woman because of Adam's rib making Eve. I was fascinated and immediately told my mom (a nurse) when I got home. She rolled her eyes and said that's just a story and not true!

by Anonymousreply 97July 29, 2024 1:55 AM

When I was really little, I thought the songs on the radio were being performed live at the radio station. I remember realizing the DJs were just playing records!

by Anonymousreply 98July 29, 2024 1:55 AM

There are So many of them i can not choose.

by Anonymousreply 99July 29, 2024 1:57 AM

I thought a race of giants moved us around just like I played with my toys.

by Anonymousreply 100July 29, 2024 1:59 AM

When I overheard my parents watching a news story about an “army of guerrillas“….well, you can imagine what I thought.

I was way too young to see Jaws when it came out, but nevertheless, I was afraid to take a bath after the Carol Burnett spoof where people were getting attacked by sharks in the bathtub.

by Anonymousreply 101July 29, 2024 1:59 AM

I thought/assumed that the Queen was the actual ruler of Great Britain- I wasn't a little kid when I was still believing this- Junior high school age which was also the age I still thought Africa was a country.

I mentioned the Africa thing earlier on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 102July 29, 2024 5:10 AM

When I was a kid, I thought the rhythm method was all about the position you were in while fucking that prevented the woman from getting pregnant.

by Anonymousreply 103July 29, 2024 5:47 AM

[quote] I was way too young to see Jaws when it came out, but nevertheless, I was afraid to take a bath after the Carol Burnett spoof where people were getting attacked by sharks in the bathtub.

I was in high school when Jaws came out but I look no older than you do. However old you happen to be.

by Anonymousreply 104July 29, 2024 5:57 AM

When The Outer Limits TV show came on, I thought it was really controlling our TV set and that we couldn't change the sound or the channel until the show was over.

by Anonymousreply 105July 29, 2024 6:01 AM

In the early ‘70s in LA there were ads in the paper for adult movie theaters. I was always intrigued by the smaller section marked “All-Male”. At my young age I could understand basic sex, but I couldn’t grasp the concept of all-male porn movies. I was really puzzled. I truly thought they were films about a bunch of men sitting around talking about having sex with women. What a waste of film. Who’d want to watch that?

by Anonymousreply 106July 29, 2024 6:10 AM

I once thought my checked-in baggage flew in a separate plane.

by Anonymousreply 107July 29, 2024 6:21 AM

Actually, it sometimes does when airports become a clusterfuck. R107

by Anonymousreply 108July 29, 2024 6:38 AM

Every Friday night I watched the Partridge Family. During this time there was a Special Event - like NBC Tuesday night movie - one night “Okalahoma!” Was on - my brain COULD NOT understand what Shirley Partridge was doing in that movie - looking so YOUNG and GIRLISH - because to me “Oklahoma! Wasn’t an “old movie” - it was new to me. It really troubled me. I guess if THAT troubled me I had a pretty happy childhood!

by Anonymousreply 109July 29, 2024 7:36 AM

r83 my mom and dad always said Chest of drawers and I heard "Chester Drawers." For a long time I called it that until one day I was thinking about it and realized that it was strange the word drawers was in there and that maybe someone named Chester invented them and then it dawned on me that it was Chest Of Drawers.

I used to lay in my bed at night getting myself all worked up over the idea of "asking god to come into my heart" as they told us at Church that when God was in my heart, I would feel it. I would beg God over and over and always got upset because I wouldn't feel anything and I just knew that I must not have been worthy because I felt nothing. I truly believed I would feel this divine presence. My parents were fundies and loved to take us to church where people would suddenly start speaking in tongues (that scared the shit out of me because it would be loud and nonsense that actually sounded like what I thought Satan would sound like). Then the person would fall onto the floor and writhe around and that scared me too but then I'd get jealous thinking that that was probably what it felt like when God entered your heart.

It's so funny to me now to look back and wonder WTF were my parents doing, filling our heads with such crap when we were so little? The sad thing is, I know if I was having those thoughts, other kids likely were too and that makes me feel so angry at the religious idiots in this country who brainwash their kids with their stupidity in believing such an archaic religion.

by Anonymousreply 110July 29, 2024 8:19 AM

I don’t exactly remember my age. When there was all this talk about going to the moon. I thought you could throw up a really long string to the moon and just climb up it. I told my daughter and we laugh about it.

by Anonymousreply 111July 29, 2024 9:22 AM

That the songs on the radio were being performed live at the radio station.

by Anonymousreply 112July 29, 2024 11:15 AM

Bottle blonde tomfoolery.

by Anonymousreply 113July 29, 2024 12:09 PM

I expected semen to be luminous glow in the dark GREEN. I also didn't associate Gay with being a sexual thing just that they were camp, like John Inman on are you being served..and were asexual. I also could not understand how in shows people were in different clothes in the next scene. Especially a tv show like Morecambe and Wise, with an audience and various sketches. My younger sister reminded me of this recently.

by Anonymousreply 114July 29, 2024 12:32 PM

Cody Seiya’s OF account is “postmaload”. I’ve always thought it a cute and literal name referring to him posting loads. Last night the light bulb turned on and I realized it was a play on Post Malone. (I do not subscribe to this or any OF channel.)

by Anonymousreply 115July 29, 2024 12:51 PM

When I was a kid, I thought everyone who lived in England was a Royal—Prince or Lady or Duke SomethingOrOther—and lived in a castle or a palace. And that they wore all those crown jewels every day. I don't think I knew otherwise until I became familiar with Oliver Twist and Eliza Doolittle.

by Anonymousreply 116July 29, 2024 12:52 PM

r92, My late BF asked me why I was being such an old Battleaxe, I was 29, and I thought it was one of the sweetest things he could have said to me.

by Anonymousreply 117July 29, 2024 12:54 PM

When I was little I thought it was the “next store” neighbor because that’s where you went to borrow something.

by Anonymousreply 118July 29, 2024 12:58 PM

To pick up on the royal theme, R116, when I was younger I thought the Queen was meant to convey the most beautiful woman in the world. But I couldn’t wrap my head around the notion that Elizabeth was that beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 119July 29, 2024 1:28 PM

Two things come to mind.

1) Until I was WELL into college, I thought pharmacists made pills. Like they had a little pill press and whatnot to create 60 doses of whatever for a customer. I think it came from an old western movie I saw when I was a kid where the pharmacist was like a chemist.

2) Until I started working on a project for work last winter, I thought The Hague was a building. I would hear about being sent to The Hague and thought it was something like a courthouse in the Netherlands. And no, I am not a young person.

by Anonymousreply 120July 29, 2024 1:40 PM

[quote] Not me, but my mom told me my cousin thought Pearl Harbor was in New Jersey.

Don’t be silly! She’s not done with her St. Olaf residency until after Christmas!

by Anonymousreply 121July 29, 2024 1:54 PM

I thought President Ford built my parents automobile.

by Anonymousreply 122July 29, 2024 2:14 PM

I don't know why, but I thought kissing a girl would taste bad. Like, bitter or sour. I was at a party dancing with a bunch of girls and one of them kissed me. It was... perfectly fine. Didn't taste different than anyone else. I was pleasantly surprised.

by Anonymousreply 123July 29, 2024 2:20 PM

Maybe it's a good thing that most of the stories are of you dumb whores as children, which means you wised up quickly. I had a roommate after college (she and I are still best friends) who would have airhead moments from time to time. One particular moment was memorable because it happened it front of a large group of people.

She and I were hosting a Super Bowl party one year, and as everyone was getting their tequila shots ready for the coin toss she commented, "Why are they deciding which way they want the ball kicked? The team names are already painted on each end of the field!?"

by Anonymousreply 124July 29, 2024 3:06 PM

Near the end of her life, my mother opined that only stupid people get dementia. And no, her mind was otherwise clear to the day she died.

by Anonymousreply 125July 29, 2024 3:56 PM

I thought my parents were trying to harm me, because children’s medicine tasted so bad and it was only ever given to me when I was sick.

I was a huge MARY! and I would weep copiously while they tried to explain that kids medicine is made to taste bad on purpose so kids won’t like it and take too much of it.

And then eventually, they would give up trying to reason with a sick child and one would hold my mouth open while the other poured some horrible liquid or dumped some crushed up tablet down my throat.

by Anonymousreply 126July 29, 2024 4:13 PM

^ Weren't you a little drama queen

by Anonymousreply 127July 29, 2024 4:17 PM

My brother told me Juice Newton was Olivia Newton John's sister... which I believed for many years.

by Anonymousreply 128July 29, 2024 4:29 PM

[quote]Also, I didn’t realize gay men had anal sex until I was about 12. I thought they just sucked each other off.

When people talked about gay people sucking cock, I thought they said this to insult gay people by coming up with something incredibly vile that nobody would do in real life.

by Anonymousreply 129July 29, 2024 4:37 PM

When people talked about playing "cards", I thought "cards" was a distinctive game with its own set of rules.

by Anonymousreply 130July 29, 2024 4:43 PM

R129 but what did you think they did?

by Anonymousreply 131July 29, 2024 4:54 PM

R127, I was a huge drama queen. My older brother told me that if you got the dry heaves after throwing up, you would suffocate and die.

So when I would have an upset stomach and had to vomit, I would make my parents stand outside the bathroom door and pray that I wouldn’t die. They were nice enough to do that.

by Anonymousreply 132July 29, 2024 5:00 PM

^ Mary!

by Anonymousreply 133July 29, 2024 5:01 PM

R132 — Is your name Dr. Sheldon Cooper?

by Anonymousreply 134July 29, 2024 5:03 PM

@r132, This you?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 135July 29, 2024 5:05 PM

I thought Olivia Newton-John was married to Elton John and Carly Simon was Paul Simon's sister.

But never feel bad about childhood misconceptions. I knew a lady who thought the faces on Mt. Rushmore were created by God.

by Anonymousreply 136July 29, 2024 5:15 PM

I was well into my 40's before I realized it wasn't "for all intensive purposes".

by Anonymousreply 137July 29, 2024 5:22 PM

Because the nuns would not tell us what “thou shalt not commit adultery” meant, we decided it was when a kid pretended to be an adult.

by Anonymousreply 138July 29, 2024 5:26 PM

It's due to my upbringing deep in religion, but when I was a child and early teen they taught us we weren't going to have to die because Jesus was coming and we'd be raptured so we wouldn't have to worry about death. Then I started worrying about what would happen to everyone else if people were raptured and driving vehicles, piloting boats, or flying planes. That was kind of hard for me to take, all these unnecessary deaths because of rapture.

by Anonymousreply 139July 29, 2024 5:26 PM

[quote][R129] but what did you think they did?

I think I thought they just hugged and kissed.

by Anonymousreply 140July 29, 2024 5:35 PM

I used to think sex and love were intertwined. So I was constantly disappointed when I would have sex with someone, and they didn’t fall in love with me. Talk about being young and stupid.

by Anonymousreply 141July 29, 2024 5:39 PM

I don't remember ever thinking about The Queen at all.

by Anonymousreply 142July 29, 2024 5:47 PM

Some of you are the most adorable little gaylings I ever met and some of you- should have made news around Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 143July 29, 2024 5:52 PM

R118 bahahahaha 😂. Ghetto.

by Anonymousreply 144July 29, 2024 5:53 PM

[quote][R129] but what did you think they did?

Festive brunches wearing caftans and playing canasta.

by Anonymousreply 145July 29, 2024 5:56 PM

Wow so many dumb cunts in this thread

by Anonymousreply 146July 29, 2024 6:00 PM

[quote]I used to think sex and love were intertwined. So I was constantly disappointed when I would have sex with someone, and they didn’t fall in love with me.

Especially when you've had sex with someone at least a hundred times.

by Anonymousreply 147July 29, 2024 6:19 PM

@r138, That's funny, because as a kid I thought, "Thou salt not covet thy neighbor's manservant or maidservant" meant that if my mother hired the cleaning lady who worked next door she was going to hell 😳

I was pretty close to adulthood before finding out the Bible was all about slavery and how to deal with them

by Anonymousreply 148July 29, 2024 7:05 PM

Up until I maybe 10 or 11 I thought cock was short for caca aka feces.

by Anonymousreply 149July 29, 2024 7:56 PM

r149 Up until I was...

by Anonymousreply 150July 29, 2024 7:56 PM

When I was coming out, some of the guys were talking about a porn film they saw (“Boys in the Sand” I think). They talked about a fist fucking scene. I thought it was jerking off with your hand. I learned differently soon enough.

by Anonymousreply 151July 29, 2024 8:21 PM

R37: the phrase don’t cut off your nose…… until a few days ago, I thought the rest of the expression was “despite your face.”

That’s how it always sounded to me After studying the curb episode about doing things “for spite,” I realized the expression was “ don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” Is that correct.????

by Anonymousreply 152July 29, 2024 8:31 PM

I genuinely thought a blow job was just you blowing air on a dick. I was so pleasantly surprised when I learned that it wasn't that at all.

by Anonymousreply 153July 29, 2024 8:53 PM

Before I ever came, I assumed the sperm came out through the pubic hair, since the two were appearing simultaneously.

by Anonymousreply 154July 29, 2024 8:59 PM

(R63) my apologies both for the slow reply AND misinformation. It was Billy Joel, "I Love You Just The Way You Are."

by Anonymousreply 155July 29, 2024 9:11 PM

When I was a boy, my friend and I were playing in his room and it was very hot so he said he’d take off his pants. He did and his pee pee was big! He told me it was sore and felt funny so I told him I’d rub it until it felt better. We were hoping it would get smaller again but it got even bigger!

Eventually he started squirming around and his face got red then he let out the strangest sound! And my hand got wet! I was worried and rubbed harder but he nearly jumped right out of his skin when I did!

But then finally it got smaller! But the strangest thing was, now mine was big and felt so funny. Here we go again!

We were so dumb!

by Anonymousreply 156July 29, 2024 9:15 PM

[quote] I was well into my 40's before I realized it wasn't "for all intensive purposes".

And is that because someone here “Oh, deared!” you?

by Anonymousreply 157July 29, 2024 10:16 PM

OP, your mother is correct. Oxygenated blood is red. Hypoxic blood is blue.

by Anonymousreply 158July 29, 2024 10:17 PM

R156 is that story real?

by Anonymousreply 159July 29, 2024 10:45 PM

^^^

No, that’s the screenplay for Toy Story 5, Rose!!!

by Anonymousreply 160July 30, 2024 1:26 AM

[quote] I thought calling a woman "batalax"

Battle.

Axe.

by Anonymousreply 161July 30, 2024 2:05 AM

Yes r159

by Anonymousreply 162July 30, 2024 4:10 AM

R160 😂 😂 😂

by Anonymousreply 163July 30, 2024 4:18 AM

The man who hired Bert Lance, Jody Powell and Stansfield Turner was not godly.

by Anonymousreply 164July 30, 2024 8:00 AM

When we learned about the 'greenhouse effect' in fourth grade, I thought actual greenhouses were somehow bad for the environment. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they were so harmful though. My teacher had to keep me after school I've day to try and explain what the "EFFECT" part meant. Bless her heart!

by Anonymousreply 165July 30, 2024 11:30 AM

I thought the FDA was actually protecting us and that doctors are actually capable at their jobs. I found out the (very) hard way that those two assumptions were dead wrong.

by Anonymousreply 166July 30, 2024 11:55 AM

⁶ one day

by Anonymousreply 167July 30, 2024 12:01 PM

Until my teens, I thought Transylvania and Timbuktu were both fictional.

by Anonymousreply 168July 30, 2024 6:29 PM

I thought horny meant cuttin' up and actin' silly. Then Doo shoved his big pecker in my cooze and said that's what horny means you dumb hillbilly!

by Anonymousreply 169July 31, 2024 3:53 AM

I thought that General Mills was a person.

by Anonymousreply 170July 31, 2024 4:30 AM

I thought "vacation" was "daycation" until I was about fourteen.

by Anonymousreply 171July 31, 2024 4:36 AM

I thought the contestants at the end of Wheel of Fortune got "partying gifts."

by Anonymousreply 172July 31, 2024 5:01 AM

I thought Alzheimer's was Old Timers' disease.

by Anonymousreply 173July 31, 2024 1:35 PM

When I was a kid my mother told me the Wicked Witch of the West was made out of brown sugar and that's why she melted. I took it to be an acceptable explanation.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 174July 31, 2024 10:05 PM

I used to ask my mom what my dad was doing, during the day, and she said "making money". So I thought he was literally making coins and bills.

by Anonymousreply 175July 31, 2024 10:27 PM

Once I had learned to read, I was amazed so many important people (monarchs, presidents, superstars) spoke Dutch, as the newspapers would obviously translate their quotes.

by Anonymousreply 176July 31, 2024 11:47 PM

That tuna was chicken that knew how to swim.

by Anonymousreply 177July 31, 2024 11:51 PM

A large portion of people posting on the DL are from India because of gross ignorance about the entertainment industry and pop culture history.

by Anonymousreply 178August 1, 2024 12:00 AM

When I was 12, I would (very confidently) pronounce hyperbole as hyper bowl.

by Anonymousreply 179August 1, 2024 12:03 AM

r178, nah, it's just a lot of us don't care about that stuff...or sporting things.

by Anonymousreply 180August 1, 2024 12:06 AM

R2, I have a 50 year old relative with a master's degree who also believes there was an actual underground railroad or tunnel whereby slaves escaped the South.

by Anonymousreply 181August 1, 2024 1:30 AM

That Uranus was unpopulated, OP.

by Anonymousreply 182August 1, 2024 1:37 AM

R179

My son said suB-tle until 7th or 8th grade - he just never connected the seen and heard word.

by Anonymousreply 183August 1, 2024 1:55 AM

R168 My 40 year-old best friend didn't believe me when I told him Tasmanian Devils are real.

by Anonymousreply 184August 1, 2024 6:02 AM

I have never had one dumb thought in my head despite the influencers.

by Anonymousreply 185August 1, 2024 6:50 AM

r178 what a very odd statement and assumption.

by Anonymousreply 186August 1, 2024 7:39 AM

I used to think the sound of audience laughter on TV was the sound of people laughing at home. I used to laugh extra loud and ask my friends at school the next day if they'd heard me.

by Anonymousreply 187August 1, 2024 7:46 AM

R187 Some of these comments make you guys seem so cute. I love us.

It was the summer of 95 and I discovered MTV. I remember seeing TLCs Creep, Ll Cool J’s Hey Lover, some Green Day vid, and Hootie’s only wanna be with you. I thought Everytime I saw the video the singers were acting out the video for about a year.

by Anonymousreply 188August 1, 2024 7:58 AM

I thought I invented the word "dagnabbit".

When I heard it on cartoons I just figured my grandmother had told someone about my invention and they "copied" it as my grandmother was always praising me to others.

My grandmother was my biggest cheerleader, fond memories.

by Anonymousreply 189August 1, 2024 12:33 PM

I thought Ipanema Beach in Rio was pronounced "I-Panema" and that "El Cajon" in San Diego was pronounced "El Cajun." Those got belly laughs from my friends. My most humiliating offense, however, occurred when I called AppleCare for technical assistance with my Macbook. The agent asked me which version of OSX I was currently running, to which I replied "Yo-semite" (pronounced like 'sodomite' only with a 'Yo' in front). The AppleCare agent informed me that it's pronounced "Yo-sem-it-tee" and then fell the fuck out laughing at me. I'm willing to bet she still laughs with her coworkers about it anytime anything involving OSX Yosemite comes up. I know I still cringe about it every time I see a photo of Yosemite.

And this all happened rather recently--as an adult 🤦

by Anonymousreply 190August 1, 2024 2:51 PM

My late mother used to think that Dinosaurs never existed and that Satan had put the fossils on Earth to "Test mankind's faith in God."

by Anonymousreply 191August 1, 2024 9:37 PM

How to pronounce segue.

by Anonymousreply 192August 1, 2024 11:18 PM

I grew up in a small town where high school basketball was the main religion. My parents took me to games my whole life. When I was a kid, I used to cheer along with the cheerleaders and student crowd. One cheer was “ Succotash, Succotash, Don’t let him Shoot! *clapclap*” Many years later, I learned it was “check that man, check that man, don’t let him shoot.” 🤦🏻‍♂️

by Anonymousreply 193August 2, 2024 3:35 AM

I thought I had actual friends in the workplace.

by Anonymousreply 194August 2, 2024 4:14 AM

In the old days of analogue clocks, I thought that during daylight savings time the electric company would send extra electricity to the clocks to make them go forward one hour.

by Anonymousreply 195August 2, 2024 5:23 AM

I thought I had actual friends.

by Anonymousreply 196August 2, 2024 5:08 PM

When a done stadium opened in my city, there was talk of fans having something to do with the dome’s operation. I thought the talk was about real people.

by Anonymousreply 197August 2, 2024 5:35 PM

The stories about mispronunciation remind me of Lily Tomlin’s brilliant monologue about the time she pronounced the word “island” as “iz-land” in front of Miss Sweeney and the whole class.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 198August 2, 2024 8:53 PM

I thought the future would be more sterile and dust free.

by Anonymousreply 199August 2, 2024 8:57 PM

I thought we would all have a higher standard of living in the future.

by Anonymousreply 200August 2, 2024 9:58 PM

On the Jack Benny TV show, when the man (later I discovered it was Mel Blanc) announced that the train was leaving for Anaheim, Azusa and Cucamonga, I thought these were made-up names.

by Anonymousreply 201August 2, 2024 11:21 PM

.....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 202August 2, 2024 11:24 PM

LOL R202 - Same here with Walla Walla, Washington!

by Anonymousreply 203August 2, 2024 11:28 PM

R203 Haha

by Anonymousreply 204August 2, 2024 11:32 PM

As a fourth grader, I stood up to give a presentation about the Titanic (which I'd learned about in my SRA (Silent Reading Activity for you young 'uns), and was embarrassed to learn that my pronunciation of "Titanic" was incorrect: it was pronounced TY-TAN-IK, not TIT-TAN-ICK as I used throughout my entire presentation.

I didn't realize it until afterward, when my teacher let me know in private of the correct pronunciation. My cheeks were red for the rest of class.

I'm also guilty of the "all intensive purposes" mistake, but happily learned this in my mid to late 20s. It kind of means the same thing, if it's any consolation.

Oh yeah, I also became very upset at age 5 discovering that "tuna fish" sandwiches were actually sandwiches made of FISH. I didn't like fish! I didn't equate tuna fish as actual fish. I think I thought it was tunafish...which was it's own unique thing. I was really pissed off and avoided tuna for several years until I finally came to grips with the fact that I did - actually - LIKE some forms of fish.

by Anonymousreply 205August 2, 2024 11:38 PM

R205 in the 90s we just called it silent reading. Or as them churrldren in NW DC would say sylin’ readin’; the t and g were silent lol

by Anonymousreply 206August 2, 2024 11:43 PM

r206 no - SRAs were actual cards with activities attached to them.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 207August 2, 2024 11:47 PM

When I was a kid I thought all girls and women could get pregnant from a kiss on the mouth from somebody of either sex.

by Anonymousreply 208August 2, 2024 11:50 PM

R175 so your dad was a gangster too lol. Your mom knew what she was saying.

by Anonymousreply 209August 2, 2024 11:50 PM

R206 In the '60s we just called it "reading."

by Anonymousreply 210August 2, 2024 11:52 PM

SRAs were my favorite activity in school because it was just me and my imagination reading without other people gumming up the works (in retrospect, I may have been a little on the spectrum, now that I think of it). I had no frame of reference on how to pronounce "Titanic" as it had never come up in conversation, on television or any other way. To me, TIT-TAN-ICK seemed correct.

Boy, was I wrong.

by Anonymousreply 211August 2, 2024 11:56 PM

I thought my cousin’s Adam’s apple was a quarter he swallowed that got stuck in his throat.

by Anonymousreply 212August 3, 2024 12:02 AM

I pronounced it Titan-ICK

by Anonymousreply 213August 3, 2024 12:12 AM

Not really.

by Anonymousreply 214August 3, 2024 12:12 AM

[R76] I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows and when we passed cow fields I would always look for the pink ones that gave strawberry milk.

[R175] When my dad was at work my mom used to always say "He's out in the field". I thought he was literally going out to a field every day.

My sister told me that pepperonis were just cut up pieces of cow tongue and I believed every word she said. No more fighting for the pepperoni slices after that.

I had a mean lover mock me for the intents and purposes eggcorn in college; good thing that was a quick relationship. I love playing with language, so now I like it when I find someone using one I didn't know.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 215August 3, 2024 12:27 AM

How "intents and" even sound like "intensive"?

by Anonymousreply 216August 3, 2024 12:31 AM

It figures NPR would come up with a dumb name for it.

by Anonymousreply 217August 3, 2024 12:31 AM

I was just reading in SPY magazine that Donald Trump wants to be president one day. I can't stop laughing. Who would ever vote for that guy?

Michael Jackson and Emmanuel Lewis looked so cute together at the Grammy Awards. You can tell Michael really loves kids!

by Anonymousreply 218August 3, 2024 12:40 AM

SRA stood for Science Research Associates. Their material was used frequently in my elementary school years in the '60s in California.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 219August 3, 2024 12:58 AM

I thought a "blow job" meant you literally blew on a guy's dick

by Anonymousreply 220August 3, 2024 7:08 PM

[quote] remember seeing TLCs Creep, Ll Cool J’s Hey Lover, some Green Day vid, and Hootie’s only wanna be with you. I thought Everytime I saw the video the singers were acting out the video for about a year.

Actually, that’s about the only thing I have been doing for about 30 years now!

by Anonymousreply 221August 3, 2024 9:00 PM

The Christmas Shoes

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 222August 3, 2024 9:50 PM

????

by Anonymousreply 223August 4, 2024 5:11 PM

Christmas Shoes is some fucked up shit

by Anonymousreply 224August 4, 2024 6:06 PM

[quote] When I was a little kid and saw family photos from the 1940s and earlier, I thought their world was in black and white and did not have color.

I was the same! I remember when old b&w films were on, asking my parents when they changed the world into colour—and most importantly, how did they do it?! I was genuinely intrigued

by Anonymousreply 225August 4, 2024 6:08 PM

[quote] As a fourth grader, I stood up to give a presentation about the Titanic (which I'd learned about in my SRA (Silent Reading Activity for you young 'uns), and was embarrassed to learn that my pronunciation of "Titanic" was incorrect: it was pronounced TY-TAN-IK, not TIT-TAN-ICK as I used throughout my entire presentation.

You must have felt like such a tit!

by Anonymousreply 226August 4, 2024 6:10 PM

Best "Christmas Shoes" take-down, EVER:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 227August 4, 2024 7:48 PM

I thought neighborhood covenants referred to people instead of agreements/bylaws. For instance, I thought there was a group of people in the neighborhood who referred to themselves as covenants.

by Anonymousreply 228August 25, 2024 3:58 PM

When I was a kid, I thought that jury duty was “jewelry duty” and that you were given actual jewelry when you went. I also thought that the “meet” in making ends meet was “meat.”

by Anonymousreply 229August 25, 2024 4:06 PM

I still have trouble thinking of historical figures before color photographs came into vogue as being other than in black & white. I just cannot imagine them in the flesh.

by Anonymousreply 230August 25, 2024 4:51 PM

For some reason I thought suicide had something to do with jumping in a sewer.

by Anonymousreply 231August 25, 2024 5:38 PM

When I was eight I visited Trump Tower and thought it was super cool.

Back then any tall building pretty much got my nod.

by Anonymousreply 232August 25, 2024 11:43 PM

[quote]R174: When I was a kid my mother told me the Wicked Witch of the West was made out of brown sugar and that's why she melted. I took it to be an acceptable explanation.

That's the result of an overly literal reading of the actual Frank Baum text.

"But the wicked creature was very cunning, and she finally thought of a trick that would give her what she wanted. She placed a bar of iron in the middle of the kitchen floor, and then by her magic arts made the iron invisible to human eyes. So that when Dorothy walked across the floor she stumbled over the bar, not being able to see it, and fell at full length. She was not much hurt, but in her fall one of the Silver Shoes came off; and before she could reach it, the Witch had snatched it away and put it on her own skinny foot.

The wicked woman was greatly pleased with the success of her trick, for as long as she had one of the shoes she owned half the power of their charm, and Dorothy could not use it against her, even had she known how to do so.

The little girl, seeing she had lost one of her pretty shoes, grew angry, and said to the Witch, “Give me back my shoe!”

“I will not,” retorted the Witch, “for it is now my shoe, and not yours.”

“You are a wicked creature!” cried Dorothy. “You have no right to take my shoe from me.”

“I shall keep it, just the same,” said the Witch, laughing at her, “and someday I shall get the other one from you, too.”

This made Dorothy so very angry that she picked up the bucket of water that stood near and dashed it over the Witch, wetting her from head to foot.

Instantly the wicked woman gave a loud cry of fear, and then, as Dorothy looked at her in wonder, the Witch began to shrink and fall away.

“See what you have done!” she screamed. “In a minute I shall melt away.”

“I’m very sorry, indeed,” said Dorothy, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬.

“Didn’t you know water would be the end of me?” asked the Witch, in a wailing, despairing voice.

“Of course not,” answered Dorothy. “How should I?”

“Well, in a few minutes I shall be all melted, and you will have the castle to yourself. I have been wicked in my day, but I never thought a little girl like you would ever be able to melt me and end my wicked deeds. Look out–here I go!”

With these words the Witch fell down in a brown, melted, shapeless mass and began to spread over the clean boards of the kitchen floor."

In 1974, Art Carney did a reading of 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' for Golden Records, and in it expressly stated, "the Witch was made of brown sugar."

So, you can see how the idea was floating around. Your grandma wasn't crazy.

[quote]—The Illustrated version looked like my grandma

You read the book?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 233August 26, 2024 12:22 AM

Here's the Witch melting, from the W.W. Denslow illustrations.

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 looked like your grandmother, R174?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 234August 26, 2024 12:50 AM

R233 What about his mother, though?

by Anonymousreply 235August 26, 2024 1:00 AM

When I was a kid, I thought you made tea by pouring milk into coffee.

by Anonymousreply 236August 26, 2024 1:02 AM

Good catch, R235. My mistake. By the time I was concluding that post, I'd lost sight of the fact he said it was his mother who'd told him that.

by Anonymousreply 237August 26, 2024 1:06 AM

My brother told me that ham grew on bushes; it wasn't a meat, didn't come from pigs. I believed it.

by Anonymousreply 238August 26, 2024 1:14 AM

My boyfriend once confessed that as a little kid, he believed the world had a hidden soundtrack of classical music, just like in the movies. He even asked his parents why they didn’t have their own orchestra following them around. Their baffled faces made it clear that, even at four years old, he was wise enough to know that life doesn’t come with its own soundtrack.

by Anonymousreply 239August 26, 2024 12:05 PM

I came back to add something else dumb that I thought and believed and saw that my previous post had been followed up on. I am r117 and r174 "When I was a kid my mother told me the Wicked Witch of the West was made out of brown sugar and that's why she melted. I took it to be an acceptable explanation." Poisoned Dragon r233,r234, My grandmother didn't look like the witch melting but as of her sitting on her throne. Thank you for proving my mom correct it will be one of the many things she will be glad to have said "I TOLD YOU SO." if I share with her. r235" What about his mother, though?" She looks like the original 1969 Velma from Scooby doo.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 240October 13, 2024 3:35 AM

I was told by an older sibling that ham grew on bushes.

by Anonymousreply 241October 13, 2024 3:48 AM

[quote]R241: I was told by an older sibling that ham grew on bushes.

R241, meet yourself at R238, posted back in August.

by Anonymousreply 242October 13, 2024 4:04 AM

That I could still get hot guys at my eldergay age of 59.

by Anonymousreply 243October 13, 2024 4:51 AM

When I was kid, whenever I saw my parents or grandma watching a black-and-white tv show or film, I thought that the world was indeed B&W and at some moment during the 50s or 60s the worldl was magicaly colorized.

by Anonymousreply 244October 13, 2024 4:58 AM

I was once told - by some older children - that ham grows on bushes. It doesn't come from pigs, but grows on bushes like fruit.

by Anonymousreply 245October 14, 2024 9:24 PM

I used to think my mom couldn’t really be a whore just because she enjoyed wearing white shoes after Labor Day, until my dad confirmed that she actually was one.

by Anonymousreply 246October 14, 2024 11:52 PM

When I was around 8 or 9 I got hold of a nasty Penthouse magazine with photos of hetero oral sex. I misunderstood what I saw and I thought that the vagina had a large cauliflower-like object that stuck out of it that men “ate”. That explains both my vagina-revulsion and other things.

by Anonymousreply 247October 15, 2024 12:04 AM

Dumb but also empirical in that last prebuscent boy way:

I thought I heard that boys had three testicles, and I only had two, and I worried about it. When my cousin spent the night and fell asleep (We shared a bed.) I looked under the sheet, turned on a flashlight, pulled his underwear down and counted.

I was mightily relieved.

He didn't find it as funny as the rest of us did when I mentioned it at a family party. But he had forced incest on his half-sister and later went to prison for kid porn, so I didn't expect him to be tetchy.

by Anonymousreply 248October 15, 2024 12:34 AM

I thought the Underground Railroad was like the New York subways, between the north and the south.

by Anonymousreply 249October 15, 2024 12:46 AM

For r248

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 250October 15, 2024 1:35 AM

R247 - WTF LOL

by Anonymousreply 251October 15, 2024 2:52 AM

When I was a kid I thought that a birthmark was the first part of your body/skin that ever came into contact with air as you came out of your mother.

by Anonymousreply 252October 24, 2024 12:33 AM

[quote] I misunderstood what I saw and I thought that the vagina had a large cauliflower-like object that stuck out of it that men “ate”.

How did you ever look at crudite the same way again?!?

by Anonymousreply 253October 24, 2024 12:41 AM

I used to think the music on the radio came from 1) musicians playing live at the radio station; 2) were actually INSIDE the radio.

Oh, and for some reason I thought John Wayne sang "Cracklin' Rosie."

by Anonymousreply 254October 24, 2024 12:55 AM

[quote] I used to think the music on the radio came from 1) musicians playing live at the radio station

You weren't alone.

by Anonymousreply 255October 24, 2024 1:06 AM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!