Etiquette question

What exactly was wrong with the response ? You asked if there were any food concerns, and they answered honestly = they had two.

You were given useful information, they should be easy to cook for.

I'd give him some grace. He might've had a bad burger or meatloaf recently.

It’s a bit much, but if you asked about food concerns and not just allergies, I suppose it’s a legitimate response.

Let use know your menu so we can critique the hell out of it.

R1, please use a colon and not an equal sign, and capitalize the clause as it has a predicate.

Equal signs do not belong in English sentences such as this, no matter how kewl you think they are.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

You asked. He answered. Your menu wasn't effected either way. What's the problem?

Don't you want to make something you'll know they'll enjoy? That's the etiquette of being a good host, I think.

[quote] effected

OH DEER

Are they millenials/Zillenials, OP? No Gen X human I've ever known would confuse "concerns" with "preferences." We may have been the last generation to be raised hearing "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I am very good friends with someone maybe I'd be that honest about what I like and don't like, but with people I am getting to know I would rather die than say "I have an aversion to ________." Nor would I be interested in getting to know someone better who would be that candid about their neurotic food preferences early on in the friendship courtship.

He could have said "Ground meat tends to repeat" or "I tend to have a hard time digesting beef" -- just something, ANYTHING less persnickety. "I have an aversion to ___" sounds coddled, entitled and small-penised.

[quote] please use a colon and not an equal sign, and capitalize the clause as it has a predicate. Equal signs do not belong in English sentences such as this, no matter how kewl you think they are.

My response = NO.

OP, you asked and they replied. How could that be a breach of etiquette?? Since you asked, you were pretty much obligated to take their preferences into account when planning your meal. Anything else would have been horribly rude of you. If you don't intend to honor the information, don't ask for it.

OP, with an open question you did not limit your guests' responses to what would kill them if you served it.

Why would you want to serve something to which your guest has an aversion?

"I have an aversion to ground meat" is a bit rude. It's helpful, certainly, but still rude. Don't continue with this friendship, or make sure they invite you over next time, and inform them that you have an aversion to anything déclassé.

I'm starting to think that OP might have trouble filling the table at his dinner parties. And that most of the guests are stuffed animal toys.

Why would you want to serve something your guest didn’t like? That makes no sense.

OP served sloppy joes and lobster ravioli just to make his point.

If OP is easily offended by the answers, he shouldn't ask the question in the first place.

[quote] And that most of the guests are stuffed animal toys.

I'm surprised OP has a partner. Is his partner also a stuffed animal toy?

His partner is a mannequin he acquired from Abercrombie & Fitch. He was attracted to his six pack.

This is not a millennial or Gen Z thing. It's been around forever. My mother told me that my folks once gave a party (1960s/70s) and some guest called her beforehand to let her know what foods he could not eat. She found it very annoying.

Allergies are one thing, but picky eaters drive me nuts. I guess the answer is know your guests beforehand. If one is vegetarian, have a vegetarian dish. Stuff like that.

If you're a guest and you're a served a dish that is not to your liking...Sorry, but suck it up. Eat around it. Or here's going out on a limb...why not be graceful and polite and just eat it.

I would have replied with, " so, you'll eat ass, but a hamburger is out of the question?"

R6 - if you're going to correct R1, do it correctly. A semi-colon is the proper punctuation.

R10 he does not have a hard time digesting beef. Reading skills? You can serve him roast beef. He doesn't like ground meat - probably because he is OCD and knows commercially ground meat is often unsanitary and also triggers people for ethical and environmental issues.

I think OP was expecting to hear only about foods that contain allergens.

The "aversion to ground meats" comment was surprising, but not a crazy request.

I'd just give them a little grace, as stated above, and see how it goes.

You asked, they gave an honest answer.

Case in point on why I stopped hosting dinner parties. I understand allergies, like shellfish and onions, but people are too damn picky.

I find picky eaters are usually immature and self-centered.

It's one thing to dislike things that are not commonly served - I'd even go with organ meats on that list.

But, the ridiculous things people have tantrums over, like "texture" of things like pasta, is absurd.

"Ground meat" - that's obnoxious.

I think they answered your question in a sincere and helpful way.Your reaction reflects more on you than on them.

Cancel the dinner.

r29 Immediately

OP, were you considering ground meat as part of your menu? seriously?

What a weird thing to get your knickers in a twist over, SINCE YOU SPECIFICALLY ASKED.

Like OP said, moussaka and lasagna could contain ground meat and those two dishes would be nice to serve to guests. I don't think OP intended to serve Hamburger Helper.

[quote] I think they answered your question in a sincere and helpful way.Your reaction reflects more on you than on them.

It must be clear even to you that many people on this thread agreed with me it was an odd request. You're acting as if I am the only person in the world who could think it so.

Give them a bag of corn chips

Keep it simple Op, beef tenderloin with asparagus or green beans and roasted potatoes, a well seasoned pork tenderloin could be nice as well. Creme brulee is super easy and always a crowd pleaser.

Those are easy requests to manage. I wouldn't even give it a second thought, especially compared to some of the ludicrous food preferences people have these days. Based on some of the food threads here, the average DLer has many more ridiculous food restrictions than these simple two.

[quote]OP, were you considering ground meat as part of your menu? seriously?

Read the original post again.

Oh, who cares, you don't come to a dinner party where you'll be served Betty Crocker recipes with huge expectations.

OP was going to serve meat lasagna and cold cuts with white bread!

r40 yum

OP Give him a burger and pretend you thought “ground meat” was subterranean bunnies 🕳️ and moles.

The problem is when you have more than 2 people specifying their food requests. Here, it's just 2 people.

[quote] agreed with me it was an odd request.

Except that it wasn't a "request." It was a forthright response to question, presumably, posed in good faith.

That's what people are taking issue with.

[quote]I have an aversion to ground meat

Tell me you have babytastes without telling me you have babytastes.

It's true, someone with an aversion to ground meat is probably not an adventurous eater. It's easy to accommodate that, but I would also scrap any thoughts of serving something like lamb, venison, or rabbit as well. It's odd, though, I would expect to hear something more like not eating meat on the bone over ground meat. There may be more to the story.

Seems like a baby taster might like ground beef (hamburgers from McDonald's).

What his favorite hunt meat, OP?

[quote]I would have replied with, " so, you'll eat ass, but a hamburger is out of the question?"

precisely WHY he has an aversion to ground meat.

You asked them a question and they answered. You weren’t planning to use ground beef anyway.

I don’t see what the issue is.

Some of you are very protective of ground beef.

OP you should make some Swedish meatballs with fettuccine Alfredo and a nice Caesar Salad. For an appetizer serve warm lobster bisque.

R27=control freak

“I need things to be gluten free, vegan, no added oil and no added salt. Yes I have huge balls.”

Ground meat has more of a chance of being contaminated. News like this might have put him off, rather than baby tastes.

r50 "Some of you are very protective of ground beef."

We better be. "First they came for the Ground Meat - And I did not speak out......."

If Greg was still here he’d have found a way to serve them a delicious ground lobster recipe that they both loved and complimented on.

With 50+ responses and no one has pointed out the most obvious offense: “I’m allergic to lobster” - LOBSTER?!? Not: “I’m allergic to shellfish.”

How presumptive to assume you are lobster-worthy. You should have served shrimp instead.

Have you rehearsed your outfit yet OP?

Bless you,Joan Crawford

I suspect they're dreading your Sunday dinner. I hope one of them takes a massive shit and clogs your plumbing.

The plutocrats in DC forced the industrial meat processing slaves to work through covid, goddammit. This guest is surely un-American and perhaps a chaos agent from a shit-hole country.

R11, of course, is the idiot we already knew she is.

R14 is incorrect and posits being rude as a response from a prospective guest.

R57, you're obviously not aware that some people have an allergy to one shellfish and not another. Nasty ignorance is unnecessary when planning a dinner.

R27 narcissists can't imagine that others legitimately think, feel, or experience life differently from themselves and are only able to interpret such behavior as a character defect or moral failing. R27 is a great example of this symptom.

Here are OP’s dinner guests, the Dashers. They rarely eat any form of noodle, but Donald has the good manners to have a small portion - just to be polite.

R62 is very texture-sensitive “Eeew like literally it’s icky”

Hint hint - chicken.

Serve Octopus and Buffalo.

Just a comma. A pause.

OP I really don’t get why you are tripping because your amigo said he had an aversion to ground beef. You asked and he answered. You didn’t ask them if they had any food allergies. I hate difficult cunts. Just prepare a nice meal that doesn’t have lobster or ground meat.

r68 "I hate difficult cunts"

Like his friend who replied worthlessly

I actually dislike when a dish consists of all soft textures: applesauce, trifle, Boston cream pie, tiramisu. I need some crunch or chew to balance things out.

However, I wouldn't tell a host about that.

Serve up some viscious face slappings.

Yes, OP, YTA.

Well, OP, did the dumb little mincing queen and his fake-allergy partner really show up? How was the mac-and-cheese? I hope you somehow tainted/spat into their food a bit.

[quote] With 50+ responses and no one has pointed out the most obvious offense: “I’m allergic to lobster” - LOBSTER?!? Not: “I’m allergic to shellfish.”

It's possible. My partner will get violently ill if he has even a tiny bit of a scallop but is fine eating any other shellfish.

^ Highly doubtful

Yes, I've lived with him for 20+ years but you know better than me. Sure, hon.

[quote] However, I wouldn't tell a host about that.

It's probably best that you not tell anyone that.

The VERY few times I've eaten meat, it has always been ground meat. Once I found a slice of pepperoni in a gutter, and the other time was a hot dog end spit out by a picky toddler. And while it landed on grass, most agree that grass qualifies as ground.

How did that pepperoni come to be in Sudan? Did it come from the once-Italian controlled Horn of Africa?

OP was murdered, obviously - likely poisoned

Maybe it was goat or camel pepperoni.

Admitting it's an aversion instead of an allergy or dietary restriction is fine, since you really are asking with an eye towards guests enjoying dinner with you. I just ask, "Is there anything you don't eat?" and that way you get a simple answer like "organ meats," "shellfish," "Thai," and who cares why.

r82 Okay

OP how did the fucking dinner go?

Lemme guess. Lousy dinner. No fucking.

OP here. We had a nice dinner Sunday night--we served them a chicken in cream sauce with curried rice.

The ground-meat aversion seems to stem from our friend's fear of contracting E. coli.

Thanks for the advice--even those who suggested either I or the guest should commit seppuku for raising the issue in the first place.

r86 Well that's a huge letdown. We were hoping for eye scratching, hair pulling, projectile vomiting.

I had an aversion to spaghetti for 30 years. Why? Because as a child I couldn't finish what was on my plate even though I really tried until I started throwing up. Then I got beat for not finishing and for throwing it up. No one should judge or Assume because a person has an aversion to something.

R86 Nice OP. Did you guys have wine.

Details please, what cut of chicken did you use? sides? Wine selections? family style or plated? Dessert?

Also did you guys flip flop fuck?

Isn't it nice that their silly but not incorrect response to your question had no effect at all on your plans.

Isn't it a shame that you, OP, are the problem here?

I'm always mindful when whipping up a sauce for guests that they didn't include shit among the things they reported having aversions to?

I entertain to please myself as much as to please my invitees.

OP Its 2024 and you still call him PARTNER?

Gurl fuck all that! Go get a KFC family meal deal for 19.99 and call it a night! SMH. Damn snooty white gays making Hamburger Helper with Bison and shit..

R95 lol

[quote] The ground-meat aversion seems to stem from our friend's fear of contracting E. coli.

Oh, a hypochondriac.

I have an extreme aversion to Chinese food due to severe food poisoning.

I used to have an aversion to lamb curry. I got sick one night after having eaten lamb curry, and as I was puking into the toilet a big chunk of lamb got lodged in my nostril.

It was days before I ate lamb curry again.

In me town, I have an aversion to red mud. I only can eat black and brown. Mama thought I was making it up. Now we start red mud allergy campaign and post pictures on trees.

I'm from the Midwest and this does seem a little specific by most regional standards, outside of may be SF or LA, but I'd take it as a cue to make something veggie and be done with it.

Stuffed Zucchini from the original Moosewood Cookbook was my long time dinner/potluck contribution---easy to make (I'm sure these even a vegan way to do it) and different (no one else will bring it) yet not weird. And as someone who's not a huge fan of Zucchini something I enjoy.

I cooked at the early Moosewood restaurant. Thanks for the memories. White Rabbit Salad.

I prefer my lamb from New Zealand, freshly killed.