Ended a friendship yesterday. Am I overreacting?

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

[bold]You're not being drama queen.[/bold]

Your friend's behavior is indicative of a serious problem. It's clear that his substance abuse is significantly impacting his ability to be a supportive friend. Your feelings of hurt and disappointment are entirely valid.

[Bold]Cutting off contact seems like a necessary step for your own well-being. [/bold]You've consistently been there for him, and his lack of support, especially during a stressful time, is a clear sign that the friendship is no longer reciprocal.

It's important to prioritize your own mental health and emotional well-being. This situation is draining, and it’s okay to distance yourself.

This is either one of the best parody posts ever seen on DL, or....incredibly pathetic.

I don't deny it's pathetic, r3. Your answer is actually helpful. Thanks. I'm just a bundle of emotions the past day and feel like I'm in high school again.

[bold]No Drama Queen[/bold]

You're not a queen of drama's stage,

Your pain is real, your heart's in cage.

Your friend, it seems, a troubled soul,

His substance grip, a heavy toll.

He's lost his way, in shadows deep,

A friendship's bond, now hard to keep.

Your heart is bruised, your spirit low,

It's time to let your feelings flow.

You've given much, but gained in pain,

A one-way street, a driving rain.

Your well-being, a sacred art,

To heal your wounds, a brand new start.

It's time to step away, it's true,

Find strength within, a different view.

With open heart and hopeful mind,

New paths to tread, you'll surely find.

He's a friend, not your husband. The fact that you are still friends with someone who does meth EVERY DAY shows that you have poor judgement. You shoulda done did let him go.

What else are addicted to?

Why are you friends with him in the first place? How did you meet?

Drugs ruin everything. Drugs ruined my life and I never used them. 2 relationships gone because of drugs.

[quote] Without going into too many details

Too late!

Hey OP, I was in a similar situation with you about two years ago. There were many ignored red flags and countlesss slights small and large before the crushing betrayal. Including the day my pet died in my arms after having a sudden decline in health the day before (stroke). I had texted my then-best-friend the sad update and he didn't bother to call me after he got off work to support me. He just texted back "oof, bummer" and then I didn't hear from him the rest of the night.

In truth, I had given him so much rope prior to that, and there were never any enduring consequences. Just a day of cold-shoulder here and there. So after i got really pissed off about this pet situation and his negligence, I screamed at him on the phone. He admitted he should have checked on me. Nothing changed, but I began to feel anger towards him every day.

At that point, I should have ended the relationship. But I didn't. And then when I saw him the final time a month later, he was a complete dick. I found out he was getting involved sexually with a bad, shady character. He didn't want me to know because he knew I would disapprove of his life choices. So he had been pulling away in advance, either out of shame or out of rebellion or whatever. None of it was healthy. None of it was how true friendship is supposed to feel, or look or operate.

It took me awhile to go no contact as I was really attached to this friend. We had started out with so much joy and laughter, we had so much in common and we always had fun together. We talked every day. It was a great honeymoon of a beginning, and then the guy's neuroticism, self-loathing and impulsivity began to rear it's head more and more. This was all unspooling during Covid too, and he was the main person I spent time with during that chapter. Cutting him out of my life was going to mean being suddenly very alone.

But I had to do it. And I will tell you, once I went no contact, it took a few months to heal but after that, I looked back and it became very clear that the entire relationship was one-sided and rarely reciprocal. My blind spots were gone and I saw everything clearly, and I felt pity for this man who really had no idea how to sustain actual platonic or romantic intimacy. I realized he was a heavier drinker than was first apparent. And our best times always involved drinking. If we weren't drinking and doing escapist things like going to the movies or concerts or watching TV and eating and drinking, he wasn't really showing up. There was no "there" there.

I'm telling you all of this just to say, you already know the answer. You've already seen the red flags. No one as self-involved as your drug addict friend is to be relied upon when the going gets tough. Only for the fun times. And I don't think this hurt you feel is ever going to resolve because that would require accountability on your friend's part, and methheads are typically a bit distracted as a rule.

Go find friends of your caliber. Value yourself. You're worth more than this.

You are a drama queen AND you should cut him off because of the drug use.

That is the actual issue - not the dramatic need for a pep talk with your meeting.

You did the right thing.

TL;DR on r11:

The commenter shares a similar experience of a friend who became increasingly unreliable and self-centered. After numerous red flags and a major betrayal, the commenter ended the friendship. They emphasize the importance of recognizing when a friendship is no longer healthy and prioritizing one's own well-being. Essentially, the advice is to cut ties with the friend and focus on building healthier relationships.

Friendships are like tires. Only so much mileage in em.

You don't need a friend like him. And vice versa.

OP seriously you sound out of control. Sounds like the friend is better off now. Please mature.

Lol r16. Are you a friend of Tina?

If you had done the right thing you would have dropped him the second you found out he was a meth addict.

r17 Lol no. But OP basically stated "My friend is a drug addict, and I'm mad that he won't straighten up long enough to listen to me cry"

And r16, I fully admit it was a dramatic way to handle it, but this has been building for some time. Yesterday was when I realized he no longer gives a fuck about anything except his drugs.

you're with him only for his free drugs and booze and $$$.

Two things that I live by when it comes to friendships, one of them Oprah stated, or made popular. The other I realized on my own.

One is you have to know the difference between a fun friend and a good friend. You can call someone a friend, enjoy their company, but still not let them close OR give too much of yourself to them. These people are more than acquaintances, but you see their limits and accept them.

And Oprah said or made famous - You can miss someone everyday and still be glad they are not in your life.

Take this drama to Reddit where it belongs

OP, are you me? I'm going through something similar. Hugs to you. I completely understand. These energy vampires only know how to take from people. Giving is a foreign concept.

R22, that's great advice. you are very wise.

Totally agree on the FUN Friend.

OP, ever hear the term "fair weather friend"? Yes? In this case it's you.

You admit that your friend is jobless, has a drug problem and is in a toxic relationship. He obviously has issues which prevent him from being there for himself, let alone anyone else. What are you doing to help him get his life back on track instead of getting all pissy because he didn't show some superficial insincere "concern' about whatever petty drama you created for yourself?

Sweet fucking Jesus, deliver me from adult bags of raw emotions and bottomless pits of neediness.

How does one arrive to adulthood in the position of advance notice of your need for "a pep talk," going so far as to give them advance notice and then a sad for not following your instructions?. It's your fucking job (I assume your important meeting is job related(, you should know how to deal with it without being a worm and expecting friends to check in at the appointed hour about your office politics. Fucking hell, man, it's not like your beloved family and friends all died in a freak accident.

Your friend doesn't sound like a prize (for other reasons), but you're certainly quick enough to blast him for some petty transgression. If he to blame for your hysteria?

Get a fucking gripe on things.

R27, you are so wise, I wish I had someone like you in my life.

I hope you said to him, "I'm afraid this conversation has come to an END!" and slammed the phone down.

I appreciate all the advice, support, and criticism. All of it is helpful. Except the guy that said I was a fair weather friend. I've helped this guy a million ways and I've tried to get him to get help for his drug addiction.

Agree OP. There is a limit. This friend isn’t your child, he’s not your husband. He’s a selfish junkie who stresses you out.

Enough already.

That doesn’t make you a fair weather friend. Most addicts alienate their friends. That’s part of the deal.

[quote]However, his drug use is now at a point where he does weed first thing in the morning and meth every day.

How could you possibly think someone like this would be RELIABLE?

Does your friend even admit he has a problem?

You can't help someone unless they do.

[quote]The fact that you are still friends with someone who does meth EVERY DAY

How deep into Pennsyltucky do you live that you have an unemployed friend who does meth daily?

Get a new friend. Walk outside and talk to somebody.

[quote] I'm a sex addict myself but I stilll find time to care about other people.

Huh? This should be a priority, not worrying about losing a meth addict friend.

That said, I get it. I'm a good listener and find it really disappointing when the tables are turned and I need someone to listen.

[quote]meth every day

Enough said.

After being burned badly by current and former meth addicts, twice, I have a zero tolerance policy for current and former methheads as close friends.

You will never have your emotional needs met by people in the throes of addiction. They are just about surviving, and they cannot see past their own immediate needs.

What are your plans for revenge? Marry his father and cut him out of the family inheritance? Buy a controlling share in his business and replace him as CEO? Slap fight him in front of a fountain?

You can’t let this slight go unpunished.

OP, are you a Taurus?

I would just start mourning the loss of the friendship and start moving on OP. You are just 1mg of fentanyl away from getting “The Call.” Or in this day and age - Facebook Post.

Why would you want a pep talk from someone obliterating themselves with pot and meth?

Because their judgment is impeccable.

Thanks again everyone for the advice. I'm feeling really good about this today. I'm free of those feelings at last.

Good for you op!

You have every right to end this friendship, but you better learn from this. YOU need to make better choices.

"He does weed first thing in the morning and meth every day. Impossible ... not to be in an altered state ... lost his job ... a boyfriend that just uses him. His days are drugs and sex."

Why is this the person you turned to? Why do you expect consistent follow up from someone whose life seems to be a freaking mess?

Maybe the friendship has run its course.

Who the hell mixes weed and meth? Seems like a total waste of weed.

[quote]his drug use is now at a point where he does weed first thing in the morning and meth every day. Ihis drug use is now at a point where he does weed first thing in the morning and meth every day. I

Seems like you buried the lede.

Frankly, you ARE needy if you're so desperate for friends that you crave the support and attention of a meth addict.

OP, have angry sex with him, film it & post it at Datalounge.

Your first statement pretty much deleted your entire post.

How does one “do” weed? Also, similar to when a baby tells you they need their diaper changed. If you can tell me THAT, then you should be able to use a toilet. If you’re able to say you need a pep talk, you should be able to pep yourself up. It sounds like you just wanted some attention and didn’t need him at all.

You’re over his bs and he seems to be over yours. It needed to end. Now the way you did it is absolutely an overreaction and what I would expect from a child. Announcing you have blocked someone is hilariously embarrassing. Especially if they were already basically ignoring you.