Do you make fun of your friends & acquaintances behind their backs?

I make fun of my friends to their faces. What's the point of doing it behind their backs ?

Never. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not unkind.

I posted in the Cluster B thread about a guy I deal with at work who always has really nasty shit to say about someone else in our industry (lots of different people who unknowingly become targets of rage he holds towards them but doesn't indicate that to them).

He rages that whoever is his target at the time is a narcissist trying to dictate and control him. All these people have no idea how he goes through long periods of hating them.

Why would someone feel so threatened by so many other people? Be so invested in seeing himself as a victim when he's known to be manipulative and cut-throat himself? Maybe if he was more assertive with them, he wouldn't be so nasty behind their backs.

He's fucking exhausting, but is a solid player in our industry.

Sadly, plenty of people have one of those (the guy you described), at the “office”, R3. I was elated when I moved offices in the building, & didn’t have to directly deal with him anymore, even though he did manage to complain about me for several weeks after I was working in a totally different location!

LMAO!

At first, we thought he just hated women, however, he managed to bitch & complain about the men in our office, as well.

No one had it out for him. He would create unnecessary tensions and drama by targeting whoever was to be rolled in the proverbial barrel of his imaginary angst, & eventually make it so that whoever he targeted, had valid reasons to want absolutely nothing to do with him.

The guy trashed me daily, when all I wanted to do is ignore him & get on with my day.

Can’t please everyone. 😏

I try really hard not to gossip about or make fun of people. I used to do it when I was younger and I feel bad about it. I hope I have mostly outgrown it.

Absolutely.

I used to be very loyal to a small group of people, until I found out that most of them were backstabbers (not just to me but to me, as well). Between political disagreements, other people becoming religious wackos, and increasing work hours I just don't socialize much anymore. Or, trust anymore.

The fake nice ones are the worst, in my opinion. I'd rather them be honest about it all.

[quote]I’m just wondering, because I know this one guy who LOVES to talk shit about the people who are in his life, but the moment it gets back to him that someone had something negative to say about him, he totally loses it.

Oh really? What's it like working at Mar-a-Lago?

I’ve been a gossip all my life and none of it has given me one single thing to feel proud of. I’m very slowly moving away from it but it’s a hard habit to break. Gossip draws a lot of icky, short-term attention and I was willing to settle for that

Still, I’d rather try to cut the shit than pile up any more regrets, even though I’m so old now that I can’t expect people to trust that they’re really dealing with a whole new me. I just have to do it for the marginally increased self respect.

*to me but to others

Sorry, worked a double shift

I think everyone does that to some degree when young. Then you learn to pick your battles and your companions more carefully and to value such things as tact, discretion and the benefit of the doubt (not everything people do that seems abrasive or foolish is your business, after all).

These days I will only say something negative of a person if their behavior has been repeatedly injurious, either to myself or others. And I don't seek such people out past whatever our general social acquaintance involves.

I do not talk shit about my friends. However, I do talk about my friends to other friends...just like giving updates on what so and so is doing, their funny stories that I make me laugh, etc. I don't really see it as gossiping, but I guess some would view it that way. I know people likely talk about me to others as well and it doesn't bother me. I'm a mess so I hope, if nothing else, my life can serve as a warning to others.

I don't make fun of my friends behind their backs but I talk about them to other friends, and I know that they talk about me which is fine. It's normal, we all do it, even those who say they don't. Especially those who say they don't.

How did you KNOW!?

I don't talk shit or make fun of my friends.

I will occasionally complain or joke about them if they do something I find annoying, but nothing I wouldn't say to their face.

No, OP. Are you thirteen?

Friends - to their faces and I expect the same back.

Family - oh fuck yes behind their backs. And those friends I mentioned? They do the same with theirs. Perhaps that's why we're friends.

No, as Kathy Griffin has said, I Say It To Their Faces, I Have MANNERS.

OP - Looking for others to co-sign his BULLSHIT. If you have to ask, then you KNOW you're WRONG.

Ummm, I haven’t spoken to him in years, R19.

As far as me drying up & blowing away? Don’t you worry, I’ll be joining you soon enough.

If you have the need to talk shit about people you make time for in your life, what does that say about you? I don't tolerate cunts in my personal life as I am not a social climber. I don't give a shit about people that don't have my back and they know. Don't waste your time with assholes. There is enough we have to deal with to live and make money. In my heart no assholes are allowed. And they know and they are afraid to be exposed. I don't live that way and I've found others like me. Those are my true friends and they are my family. Don't waste your time on trash in your free time. That's the secret to a happy and joyful life.