Joan Crawford's Morning "Beauty Routine"

I gotcha mornin' beauty routine right here, Joan

I think the liquid was Witch-hazel.

It wasn't really her beauty routine. The opening was meant to illustrate her sickness and obsession with "cleanliness".

Who scrubs their hands raw as part of a beauty routine?

Yeah, she does that morning routine shit then she smokes all goddamn day long and destroys her skin anyway.

I know shortly after the release Mommie Dearest, I tried pressing ice cubes to my face after pouring rubbing alcohol on them. I was 13 years old. Only tried it a few times and switched to drinking vodka on the rocks instead.

Still a beauty, to this day.

Point taken OP, but The Fountain of Youth is a perennial folly — 99% of the over the counter skin treatments, lotions and beauty regimens of this, or any other era, are useless garbage that only monetize human insecurity.

Also, most of the medical interventions and treatments don’t work past a certain point and just make things objectively worse.

Washing my face in cold water in the morning invigorates me.

I might try the ice method, but I’d need a maid to prepare it before dawn. I don’t see that in the future.

I assumed that was her routine when she was filming.

Try as she might Joan could never scrub off the stench of whore.

OCD all the way!

Love the flute music-Mancini yes? Was it rubbing alcohol?

Paul Newman supposedly did the face in a bowl of ice thing.

I used to do the ice thing to close the big pores on my nose. Kinda redundant in Canada in winter though.

My mother STILL does the ice cube thing every morning. I don't know if she got it from the film or somewhere else, but she does admit she loves that sequence in the film. I agree that it might be the best part of the entire film.

A better regimen would have been to quit smoking and stop drinking.

Madonna does a similar routine now, but it involves daily injections and small surgical tweaks performed in the comfort of her home.

A chain-smoking alcoholic will overcompensate elsewhere.

sounds more like self flagellation than a beauty routine

I was always intrigued by what was the liquid in that bottle. I recall some intrepid investigator was once able to zoom in on the label, it said 'Distilled Water'. I always thought that coffee pot was freakin' awesome.

The movie that launched a million social media skin care routine videos.

SCRUB!

Chapter XI

A program for a lovely face and glowing hair.

My bf gives me a facial each morning. Does that count?

Her real secret was a daily Pepsi douche.

The opening scene of the film is a highlight. It depicts a disciplined to the point of ruthless woman with unique ritual.

I never laughed at the film, the performances or the memoir. It's a grim tale but I am interested in old Hollywood and love Joan Crawford's films in the 1950s.

Does it do anything for her, R14?

[quote] I think the liquid was Witch-hazel.

What in the hell is Witch-hazel???

Basically a toner?

Old-school product, an astringent. The astringent and the ice cubes are supposed to make the pores of the skin look smaller.

1. Beat Christina. 2. Beat Christoper.

[quote] 1. Beat Christina. 2. Beat Christoper.

Berate Carol Ann and Helga.

Make love to Greg.

Rinse and Repeat!

The first time I saw the movie I didn't know that machine was a coffee maker. I was scared she was going to do something disfiguring.

R26, I'm not really sure if it helps. Her skin looks fine for a woman her age, she's not that wrinkled. She's very thin and for a while was getting fillers in her face, which did help because her face was so gaunt. She also used to slather Vaseline on her face before she went to bed for years. Don't think she does anymore, just moisturizer, I think.

The ice bath for the face is a long-held beauty trick. It reduces puffiness and makes pores smaller.

[quote] She also used to slather Vaseline on her face before she went to bed for years.

My grandma used to do this too.

I heard that petroleum jelly is very bad for your skin.

I mean, it's PETROLEUM for fuck's sake!

She didnt have retinA back then...I use the stuff religiously. My skin at almost 70 looks good

r35 it's terrible for your skin, clogs your pores.

Back then all they had was basic moisturizer and cold cream, none of the million skin care products we have now. And of course no laser treatments etc.

Something for your sking that you can buy at the drugstore for $10 is better than the best lotions etc. they had back then.

R36, where do you get it? Did you get a prescription? Do you use the cream or the gel?

Martha Stewart puts all of her facial treatments on then puts Vaseline on her face. She claims it seals up the creams, serums, etc… making them more effective.

There were entire armies of makeup and skin care specialists working at the studios, and every working morning the actors and actresses would spend at least half an hour in the makeup chair before filming began. So, can I assume that the professionals were telling the stars which skin routine and products they recommended?

Also, I recently got served some YouTube videos about 'stinky classic movie stars' and Crawford was one who they claimed had b.o. That does not match at all with having a cleanliness fetish.

Yep. Vaseline is a good moisture barrier. Sometimes I will slather it on my face after my moisturizers. Usually when the weather is really dry. Other wise it is too icky feeling. At night I do use a lip moisture mask and then add the vaseline. It really works.

R27, Witch Hazel contains chemicals called tannins. When applied directly to the skin, witch hazel might help reduce swelling, help repair broken skin, and fight bacteria. She probably just used it to close up her pores before the professional makeup people went to work on her.

Old remedy, not much used today, though you can find it at drug stores and online. I think I remember reading in a bio that Cole Porter used it on his face every day too.

It makes a nice aftershave.

Brutalism

Thank you, R43!

I wonder if I should try it?

I'm happy with my basic skin care routine that I use right now, but witch hazel sounds like it might have some good effects.

The ice thing worked for Paul.

Kitty Carlisle never used soap on her face.

Neither did Miss Jean Brodie.

In another cut the ice is brought from Joan’s face with two enormous eyebrows stuck to it

You never put hot water on your face, and you'd never follow it up with ice water- you'd break blood vessels.

I've never used witch hazel but now I want to try it.

I used witch hazel on my face during the summer when I have been sweating and feel greasy.

Tell us how it goes R52, and if you experience any good effects!

Witch hazel is also good for vocal fry.

She also used to slather Vaseline on her face before she went to bed for years.

Must have been hell on her pillowcases.

Putting out the fire 🔥 with Vaseline!

[quote]It seems like an awful lot of trouble, scrubbing your face (raw) with soap, scraping your arms, elbows and fingernails with a rough brush, rinsing your face in scalding hot water, and then cooling it off with ice soaked in some undetermined liquid.

All to look like a hard as nails bitch. One does have to wonder.

I suspect the "some undetermined liquid" was from the liquidized children she adopted without fanfare.

R57 I can stare for a thousand years, colder than the moon 🌚

Those who feel me near, close their blinds and change their minds