Let's Be Hurricane Katrina

I'm Barbara Bush and I'm surprised poor people exist

Let's not.

I'm a hurricane survivor who moved to Houston and I brought all those terrible hurricanes with me!

R1 wins. I recall when she said her quip the DL blowing up with the general cuntery of it

I'm the looting

There’s still a lot of abandoned buildings. I don’t know how much of that is Katrina related though

I'm Ray Nagin

We're the sheriff and the deputies on the other side of the bridge leading out of New Orleans, with our shotguns pointed at the POC attempting to flee, to make sure no "undesirables" enter our parish.

But we're not racist.

I'm Kanye West proclaiming on national TV that George Bush doesn't care about black people.

I'm Brownie! I did a heck of a job!

I'm the 2004 tsunami. You call that a natural disaster?

I’m the destruction of Bush’s presidency. Because with Americans, disastrous wars don’t matter (they’re fought overseas), but bad responses to natural disasters, they matter.

I'm Michael D. Brown, former head of FEMA, and I watched as my career vaporized into the thin air because of my ineptitude. In fact, my name became synonymous with ineptitude.

I the tidal surge. FEAR ME!

I'm Mary Landrieu and I did nothing but cry

I'm Geraldo. Will someone get me off this goddamn ramp!

I'm Brad Pitt, building the shitty houses that fell apart a few years later. If I had any brains at all, I would have rebuilt them using the same materials that the oldest homes are made out of.

I'm the Superdome. It's still a travesty what those poor people did to me.

I'm the racism

I'm Oprah, visiting for her show.

I'm Barry Cowsill, spotted in the crowd at the Superdome during a news broadcast and never seen alive again.

I'm Oprah, refusing to go into the seating areas because I don't do stairs.

Paradise and Puerto Rico was worse.

I'm the residents with abandoned rowboats in the yards that suddenly became helpful.

"I'm the residents with abandoned rowboats in the yards WHO suddenly became helpful."

I'm Mayor Magin's crack pipe. Up here in this guarded luxury suite as the city flooded, the Mayor has had me puffing away like a locomotive built in 1843.

I'm the elderly residents abandoned in their nursing homes while the staff took off and left us there to die.

I'm 10% of the listed strength of the New Orleans Police Department. We don't actually exist but our salaries are paid anyway and collected by 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺. I believe the case files were "mislaid" in the cleanup.

I'm Joel Osteen and I will NOT open my church up to those in need

Why did people stay behind again? Why weren't they evacuated, forcibly or otherwise?

They had survived past hurricanes. Or they could not afford to leave or were medically unable to travel.

[quote[ Why did people stay behind again?

They were told it was all clear. The worst of the hurricane had hit and passed by. BUT there was a barge that broke loose and smashed into a dyke along a shipping canal. A large lake fed the canal and emptied into the city.

This could have happened any time even without the hurricane.

I'm the power outages! Except when Dubya gave a speech in the French Quarter, I was restored. Then promptly shut off once he left.

[quote] BUT there was a barge that broke loose and smashed into a dyke along a shipping canal.

I hope she hit the fucker with her cane!

I'm one of the conspiracy theorists that believe the levees were intentionally blown up to save the French Quarter.

I'm Celine's righteous anger awkwardly channeled into song at the behest of Larry King.

I'm the Lower Ninth Ward.

I'm Governor Kathleen Blanco.

"I believe we are prepared. That's the one thing that I've always been able to brag about."

People should stay, not evacuate. I also waited until the last minute to ask for federal help including the National Guard and funding, then myself and Mayor Nagin publicly argued with each other. I flew to Dallas a few days before the storm.

Oh, but I made sure to explain that the mismanagement was all George W. Bush, David Vitter, Mary Landrieu, and Ray Nagin's fault.

I'm the countless horrific documentaries about the hurricane.

I'm the happiest looter

I'm Police Chief Eddie Compass crying to Oprah that babies are being raped in the Superdome.

I'm Beyonce in the "Formation" music video bringing it all back.