What to take to a cook-out when you can't cook/bake

Pasta salad

Drinks

A nice chip dip

Fruit salad?

Gerg's horrendous macaroni salad, but only if you hate everyone there, including yourself.

Good sausages - raw, for the barbecue. If you are flush, good steaks. Good melons. 3 bottles of good wine that goes with barbecue - but nothing too fancy - since it's a cook out. A lemon meringue pie or Boston cream pie, from a very good bakery.

Soda. The cheap, generic stuff in the 2-liter bottles.

If it's a gay cook-out, bring the chicken, for Greg's Easy and Delicious Method of Drilling Chicken

hash brownies

Poppers and lube

Just ask yourself, OP, what would Iola Boynton do?

Tomato-watermelon panzanella with some parmesan shavings instead of feta. I would skip the onions too.

Heineken or Corona beers in the bottle, at least a 12-pack.

A portable blender to make Margaritas.

party favors

I knew some guys who never failed to show up with a salad that included edible flowers. They received genuine compliments and expressions of surprise every time even though everyone there had repeatedly seen and eaten that same thing.

Ina Garten's Fresh Corn Salad - its addictive

A bucket of KFC, a cooler full of ice, and 2 12 packs of canned sodas.

Blunts and blonds.

Ice cream - the good brand, not the Aldi brand. And plenty of it !

Disposable cups. plates and cutlery.

ice, homemade cookies, a yummy non mayonnaise asian slaw. You will be a hero and still on budget

[quote]a yummy non mayonnaise asian slaw.

I'd be too worried that what I take might not be sufficiently yummy.

A box of pastries or cookies from a great bakery.

A carton of cigarettes?

A Box of Joe and a a Box of 50 Munchkins from Dunkin.

Some charcoal briquets?

A bubble machine

About a dozen of the hottest male escorts to pass around for dessert.

a boner and a smile 😊

Tidy up your hole and present it.

Scented whoopie cushions

Fruit salad is a good suggestion. You can even buy it premade, but put it in your own bowl and fancy it up with a handful of pomegranate seeds, a healthy drizzle of honey and then either a squeeze of lime juice and some chopped fresh mint or a splash of Grand Marnier and some orange zest and juice.

Beer

Grocery store potato salad (get the one with the red top)

Paper plates and napkins

A quality bottle of wine.

I think it’s in bad taste to bring hard liquor unless you are really close with the hosts.

Op I might add. Is this some type of “potluck” cookout. Most people don’t expect people to bring cooked food to a coookout even if they ask u to bring something. They mean beer or drinks.

brinking paper plates and napkins is "impressive"? It's rude. The host has at least figured out the eating utensils for such an affair, even though it's a pot luck.

What potato salad has a red top, r31? I think r15 is as close to what I'm thinking. I'm getting there too late to bring paper products and utensils, so that's out. I really need something very, very easy, but I don't want it to look easy, if that makes any sense

Brownies from a mix with adjustments - use butter instead of oil. Add semi-sweet chocolate chips. Use milk instead of water. Add vanilla extract.

If someone brought some KFC chicken to my cookout I would read them to filth and then reprimand them for not going to Popeyes. WTF would u bring that fuckery to my house for. Unless you brought a tray full of KFC biscuits.

R34 Resers.

Op do you live in a major city. You really don’t have to nuke this. Buy a 12 pack of craft beer and some guacamole.

Mrs. Moe Howard's Tuna Casserole Surprise is always a huge hit at Nana's cul-de-sac parties.

Relish tray: pickles and/or sliced cucumbers, sliced cheese assortment, celery, olives, cherry tomatoes, onion, crackers, dip, etc. No cooking.

Any of above & a bag of ice.

Spirits, ice, and a frothy attitude.

Take a kitty cat. Tell the host you know how much they love cats, so you bought him one as a host gift.

Tortilla chips and salsa.

Something from a good bakery. I like what someone else suggested, a Boston Cream Pie.

You can probably grab a sheet cake which says "Happy July 4th" at WalMart for half-price, or even 75% off by tomorrow. So a $25 sheet cake (WalMart's Low Low Price) will cost you about $10. Go for it !

Water balloons.

[quote] Good sausages - raw, for the barbecue.

I bring good sausages - raw, for the host (and hostess, if necessary).

Bring drugs and lollies OP. Make sure there's enough for everyone though!

Nuts, bananas and, R33, I don’t think paper products or cups are insulting at all. If I were host, I would appreciate the backup and replenishing my stock.

Nice ice (like from Sonic) and nice cannabis infused sodas and seltzers.

Condoms, Rose! CONDOMS! CONDOMS!! CONDOMS!!

Alice B. Toklas brownies !

[quote] What to take to a cook-out when you can't cook/bake

Weed, in every form imaginable and lots and lots of alcohol.

Chocolate covered strawberries

Tabitha Stephens : Can Granmama have a cookie?

Endora : They're not by chance from an Alice B. Toklas recipe?

Phyllis Stephens : They're my recipe.

Endora : Then I think I'll pass.

( Funniest four lines in TV sitcom history. )

I don't understand the suggestions for Boston cream pie for a summer cook-out.

R57, do you know it's a cake?

Then bring a fruit tart, r57. Something nice from a good bakery. You decide.

R58, yeah, I know it's a cake, with a layer of soft custard.

Pick up a couple of bottles of Prosecco and call it a day.

Have fun and don't stress.

Boston Cream Pie is more of a fall / winter dessert. It's a heavy cake. Not great for a summer cook-out.

Fruit salad as R2 and R30 suggest is a pretty bullet proof suggestion. Every time I've seen a bowl of fruit salad at an event people descend on it like a pack of starving vultures and I have to join the fray if I'm to get my share. Fresh, healthy, tasty and easy to make, even get the canned stuff and fancy it up good like R30 says.

Hell if you bring a big bowl of fruit salad and you're at least passable looking I'd reward you with a blowjob

An undecorated white sheet cake and a bucket of store brand "frozen dairy dessert". Vanilla, of course.

What is frozen dairy dessert?

R65: Really cheap ice cream. The kind that doesn't exactly melt because of all the gums.

[quote]brinking paper plates and napkins is "impressive"? It's rude. The host has at least figured out the eating utensils for such an affair, even though it's a pot luck.

I assume that this suggestion was made with the understanding that the person volunteering to bring these items would let the hosts known beforehand.

Rum balls.

Pork tartare with a mayonnaise dipping sauce

Whores!

A couple of jugs of Simply Lemonade.

"what would Iola Boynton do?"

She'd learn how to spell her last name correctly, you nitwit.

Baked potatoes and the fixins...

Apparently, brown bed linens always make a nice gift to the host.

Scented lube. Everyone will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

OP please DO NOT forget all these people have allergies and gluten intolerance, make sure you accommodate their needs or there could trouble, and half the children are on the spectrum, so learn all and each of their TRIGGER words so they don't freak out and have a crisis.

Staying home would be the most thoughtful gift, OP.

Corn

People love 🌽

Carrot raisin salad!

I’ve never tried it, but some people swear by Resers original potato salad, the brand with the red top.

Chips

What cheapskates are saying "12-pack" of beer? It's a case, or pick something else!

Anyway, OP, go shop. You know how to shop, right? Just put your hands together and take out your card.

Whatever you do, not NOT bring anything that Gerg ever suggested or gave a recipe for.

Every time I see this thread title I automatically read it as "When to take your cock out". What does that say about me? LOL

R84 filthy mind or perhaps need glasses or both

[quote]What to take to a cook-out when you can't cook/bake

A man.

Phallic-shaped shish-kabob spears.

A live buffalo and a nasty poodle.

Dorothy Lynch Homestyle Salad Dressing

Caftans

Milk bones minis

OP here:

Took some people's advice. Brought (made) brownies, but dressed them up with cookie dough, or "brookies." Stopped at a nice bakery and grabbed some red velvet macaroons. Also brought different kinds of soft drinks and Gatorade in single serve bottles.

[quote] and Gatorade in single serve bottles.

You must have been inspired by the “preparing for a colonoscopy” thread.

Liquor

R94, y'know, it's entirely possible reading that thread made me then think of Gatorade when I was considering what drinks to bring. I don't ever drink Gatorade, and I guess I won't until I can't use Cologuard anymore.

Swing by your grocery store and buy a big tub of potato salad to add to the pile.

God no, r97, it's the potato salad that 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 gets the blame.

Usually the potato salad is the cause of everyone getting the runs because its sits outside for hours. The shits ensue.

R99. How ghetto. You must put potato salad on ice or leave in the fridge.

Death comes in the form of potato salad uninvited.

Potato Salad: the silent killer

Would it be trashy to bring a huge amount in edibles? OP's friends might appreciate that.

I took this to a cookout/pool party this week and it was a big hit.

Did you really pit those cherries like that?

UK here.

I always make a big batch of kachumber salad, a big pot of coconut dal, and Indian breads. Really easy, vegan, and always go down well.

Blech!

[quote]What to take to a cook-out when you can't cook/bake

A large tote bag.

Drinks

Toilet tissue - extra plush

R105, yep, I bought a cherry pitter and pitted and sliced them. That’s the only part that took a lot of time. Making that salad required several bowls, a cutting board, measuring cup and spoons, and four utensils. For me, that’s cooking!

Fixins

Great paperplates / napkins

Gavin Newsom’s itchy nipple.