Derek Blasberg Diarrhea Drama

I'm seeing the story on various sites. He's always been 'east coast gross' to me.

Did he run out and announce:

I MADE!

This is really something.

I’ve followed his shameless social climbing for years. It truly know no bounds.

And now everyone is talking about him fouling up a bathroom with his diarrhea on the ceiling. It’s even in his Wikipedia.

Derek BLAST-BURG!!!

Those poor maids. Paltrow must have been standing right over them as they were scrubbing the shit stains.

Buck would never have shit the bed.

24/7 douche face

[quote]Blasberg is acquainted with many celebrities; Jeff Bezos, Kris Jenner, and Anne Hathaway helped him celebrate his 42nd birthday at a party for the occasion in May 2024.[24] Blasberg is "close friends" with Gwyneth Paltrow, and is a frequent guest at her home in The Hamptons, vacationing there even in her absence. In an unfortunate June 2024 episode Blasberg defecated so foully and catastrophically on Paltrow’s guest bed that he had to flee the home in shame. This was not caused by a side effect of the drug Ozempic.

From Wikipedia:

Blasberg is "close friends" with Gwyneth Paltrow, and is a frequent guest at her home in The Hamptons, vacationing there even in her absence. In an unfortunate June 2024 episode Blasberg defecated so foully and catastrophically on Paltrow’s guest bed that he had to flee the home in shame. This was not caused by a side effect of the drug Ozempic. [25][26]

Why was Ozempic quickly ruled out?

it may not be "ozempic"...but it could have been wegovy, mounjaro, zepbound, etc.

He flew too close to the sun.

Now there is diarrhea accident in his Wikipedia.

Coke?

Well, he appears to have pissed someone off (Gwyneth?) for it to get out of their circle and make worldwide news.

Goop's "organic detox teriyaki chicken" strikes again!

There’s a Pink Flamingos joke in here

He had a bad case of the doo doos.

Maybe somebody served him prunes and cod and it didn't...agree with him.

Didn't he date RJ King back in the day?

He had the runs. Ick.

He seems nice.

This sounds like something Truman Capote would write.

I don’t understand why he didn’t burn the sheets and scour the guest room himself, to bury his shameful secret. Then tip the maid a lot of money to cover for him.

But instead he “fled“? What a lame little baby.

Was it something like this?

I'm exactly two years older than this nasty man. 🤦‍♀️

Wegovy AND cocaine.

if it was a mattress, you can do what you want with the sheets but shitting the mattress doesn't lie, unless it was a little blip you were able to scrub/soak up with towels.

it doesn't sound like this was the case. it sounds like he shit the actual bed and there's not a lot you can do if that happens, besides trash the mattress.

that said, it's really low to let it out unless there is some other motive to do so.

Seems like a social setback, no?

ROFL at R8 and R9!!!

Why doesn't he remove that from his Wiki page????

How humiliating!

Someone is clearly out to get him, and I can't believe it's still up.

I hope you all have saved a screenshot of it, for posterity.

There must’ve been some vendetta against him for the news to get out like this.

It was explosive news, for sure.

He can’t just remove it from his page. Wiki has a whole system of editors and when there are sources to back things up, it can be hard to get it removed more than temporarily.

I think it depends on if the Wikipedia subject is well known or not.

If this were an entry on Gwyneth Paltrow’s page, there would be much more debate and correcting back and forth, forever. But is this person, Derek Blasberg, well known outside of his social circle?

I want a divorce!

Nothing like chilling in The Hamptons on tequila and suppositories.

Damn. It’s gone from his wiki. Earlier today there was just a shortened version along the lines of, “Once suffered diarrhea in a famous person’s house.”

Damn, I'd have owned up to it an offered to clean it up like someone said up thread. I'd have also paid the housekeepers extra. This happened to me in Beverly Hills at the Beverly Hilton and I was mortified. I didn't leave until all was put back ship shape. I ate some bad Mexican food and have never been so sick in my life. I woke up in the middle of the night and things were gushing all over. The staff understood. I took care of them.

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

The fetid, noisome story has made [italic]Variety!

—————

“The story has had insane legs in Hollywood circles for several reasons. Call it a slow news cycle thanks to Independence Day, or a welcome distraction from that state of American politics. There’s also a devilish kind of excitement in hearing about a base act of humanity in a world that is so privileged, curated and unattainable. But the biggest message in all the muck is a sense of Biblical justice for Blasberg, a figure whose profile some observers think is smoke and mirrors in a town that demands proof of value.”

And Hello! as well!

As publicists, how does DL suggest Mr. BlasTberg respond to all this?

And should Goop publicly comment on her guest’s shit hitting the fan?

[quote]Blasberg, a figure whose profile some observers think is smoke and mirrors in a town that demands proof of value.

A town that demands proof of value? My sides. 🤣

He made doo doos on her bed.

A River (Of Shit) Runs Through It

I think there will be a denial soon.

Yoda says....

Sounds like ingredients for Erna’s version of a Mississippi mud cake.

Who said it was on the ceiling? Difficult to be discreet when the ceiling has to be cleaned and re-painted. How mortifying. I'd have to move to another planet.

R48 Oh my

DOO DOO! FECES!

What do you think Miss Blasberg is doing right now?

Shaking and crying?

Shitting his own bed?

[quote] What do you think Miss Blasberg is doing right now?

Witness Protection Program.

Or rather, Shitness Protection Program.

The fleeing is the worst part. Surely some crime-scene cleaners could have been called in! Whatever was made of cloth should have been bagged and removed from the house. A thorough shower taken. If sick still, get to the ER.

Shitty Little DereK.

I think Derek needs to cash in in this! Get himself some paid partnerships with Glade, Sorbent etc. Make fun of it and make some coin.

I really wonder how he pissed off Gwyneth so royally though. If he was a good friend, this wouldn't have got out. My money is still on Brad fucking him and Goop losing her metaphorical shit.

My sister in law made my Mom a "healthy" smoothie before her drive home. My mom is the type who is usually constipated but after drinking that smoothie she had to find a restroom on her way home. He probably ate or drank some Goop concoction like that.

It was like that scene in Trainspotting

R55, i am guessing the fleeing part must have infuriated her. It was a shitty thing to do.

Still, a better person wouldn’t have leaked this.

I think the media has a point: this was leaked as a warning to other star-fuckers as to how tenuous their position is.

r59 It was leaked alright, anal leakage. *ba dum tss*

Do you think GOOP regrets outing Derek as the "sheet shitter?"

Or is she having a good laugh about it?

The variety article said he’s on a mogul’s yacht for 4th of July.

The climbing never stops.

Hopefully the mogul put plastic under the sheets of the bed

[quote] The variety article said he’s on a mogul’s yacht for 4th of July.

That poor yacht.

Imagine the staff below deck who have to clean up after him.

Maybe he’ll have the decency to hang his ass overboard.

How did it get on the ceiling?

It was a geyser r67

[Quote]The variety article said he’s on a mogul’s yacht for 4th of July.

I've assigned him the poop deck.

Who is this trashy Gwyneth person? I've never seen such bad manners in my whole life.

Removed from Wikipedia.

This story would be better if the roles had been reversed.

R55, maybe Imodium D would be his best bet.

If he shat himself he was either fully drunk, on drugs or both. Its not like Gweneth cleaned it up herself. Its that her staff were perhaps humiliated to clean up a guest's shit. If I had staff I would be mortified. If my partner did it I would be sympathetic and clean it up, but demand a present

[quote]R61 Do you think GOOP regrets outing Derek as the "sheet shitter?"

Well, she’s certainly proven to be a real shit stirrer, in this case!

[quote]R65 Imagine the staff below deck who have to clean up after him.

And with poor ventilation!

He should thank God he wasn't staying at Martha's.

He's going to murder that bitch for causing him worldwide humiliation and making him a pariah.

Scott Amedure was murdered by Jonathan Schmitz after an appearance on Jenny Jones, and it was only for confessing his gay crush.

Gwenyth, you in danger girl!

Why didn’t he just roll up the sheets and take them and buy her a new set? Why didn’t he make a wild leap for the tub and dump out there? Why didn’t he at least ATTEMPT to clean up after himself a bit?

Why do these people think of themselves as beyond high class when they have the manners and polish of a barnyard animal?

This is what happens when people from St Louis get above their station.

I thought this classic Bonnie mace story would be appropriate on this thread

I just had my first experience with Scat very recently. My longtime gal had been wanting to try it out forever so finally about a week ago. I caved, I mean after all you only live once right?

I decided that the "night" would be very special. I made a very special dinner of steak burritos, chili, and chocolate milk. And for dessert-bacon and eggs. I felt like I was training for a marathon!

Anyway after dinner we started fooling around. After a while of that my gal, Beatrice, started probing my "brown eye" as she called it with her thumb. Now mind you my gal Beatrice is not tiny she looks a lot like Shirley Hemphill but with the elegance and class of Jackie O. Anyway her thumb is going further and further up my poop shoot and still I feel nothing. This goes on for a good ten minutes (though it felt like hours) but nothing is coming out. Beatrice then stuck not one, not two, not three, but four supposotories up there. But still...no go. I told her that coffee enemas were supposed to work good. Well we didn't have an enema tube so she just started sucking up sanka with a bendy straw and squirting it in my whole. After another twenty minutes without any numero due in sight. We gave up.

I could see how heartbroken she was so I agreed to let her be the crapper (since it was my first time I was supposed to just be the crapper and she the crappee.) so she went at it with gusto. She let out about three juicy logs on my ninnies. But the best(?) was yet to come, all of the sudden this stream of poop came flying out of her squinty and it came out fast! It was kind of like the Trevi Fountain except it was like the Trevi Fountain if dookee came out and not water. Well, there was SOME water, but not a lot. My God I don't know how it happened but a half eaten cinnamon donut came out of there. It was truly a horn of plenty of non digestable viddles.

Anyhoo, we played around for an hour and then through the sheets in the oven to dry them off before throwing them in the trash. All in all not a bad experience, but not something that I would want to do everyday. Special occassions? Maybe.

Has Countess Luanne or Ramona weighed in?

R82. RatMona defecates during VAGINAL lovemaking. Leah said so!!

Diarrhea cha cha cha!!!

Derek could go join RHONY Legacy! Wait till the cast trip to see the real fireworks!

Nick Brown's IG is full of Paltrow shots. This is a real betrayal and likely the end for Blasberg - a celebrity no one could explain. Nick best flee this shitty mess altogether.

Do you think hubs Nick will flee with the kids, throwing themselves on the mercy of Gwyneth?

There’s no need for the children to suffer - Apple’s their babysitter!

Guess those babies aren’t the only ones who need diapers in that family.

Maybe DNA testing will revealed Goop’s staff hated the visitor so much that they merely staged the lurid crime scene in his room after he left (??)

This could lead to lawsuits, public apologies… an as yet untitled Lifetime Original Movie., even.

R89 “Explosive Shame: The Derek Blasberg Story”

I love (R81) you made me laugh so hard all my stress left my mind

Derek held a press conference yesterday, to discuss the incident....

[QUOTE] Maybe DNA testing will revealed Goop’s staff hated the visitor so much that they merely staged the lurid crime scene in his room after he left (??)

Feces do not contain DNA.

This is definitely the result of an Ozempic overdose.

Doesn’t Goop have a candle for this type of situation?

The Daily Beast has a piece on how he can redeem himself.

The answer: he can’t. The author suggests he move to Sioux Falls to become a rodeo clown.

There are some old threads on this guy if you google datalounge and his name.

A handful of first person stories - some people saying he was a nice guy but most people saying he was a complete operator who had no time or interest in anyone who wasn’t famous, powerful or wildly wealthy.

He flew too close to the sun. And is now over with this set.

Derek Blast-berg.

What a shitty way to end 2 decades of social climbing

Who says Goop leaked the story? All it does is make her look bad.

It was likely an enraged maid.

Doo doos doo doos doo doos

Social climbers are never admirable people.

They push past the rest of us to get within asshole-licking distance of the most rich/famous in the room.

That is how they judge people. That is how they derive their worth.

Exhausting, boring, gross, crass…

With everyone in Hollywood on Ozempic, explosive shitting incidents like this are going to become a lot more common.

>> Cleaning up << Scat's out of the bag

Since mentioning it in PB1192, Gwyneth Paltrow's phantom Hamptons shitter has been publicly revealed as Derek Blasberg.

Tiresome attention hog that he is, we didn't want to totally fuck Derek over by identifying him. We thought it was funnier that American high society was terrified about the upcoming onslaught of liquid Ozempic shit – rather than pinning that specific incident on a celebrity barnacle like Blasberg.

However, since his identity has been revealed anyway, there's a little more to the story we don't think we've seen written anywhere.

The reason Gwynnie broke the most sacred rule of hosting – and started blabbing about her guest's embarrassing indiscretion? Between soiling the sheets and hotfooting it back to NYC, Derek supposedly left some money for Gwynnie's cleaner to tend to the mess.

It was such an insultingly small amount that the cleaner complained. And Gwynnie took her side.

I still think this make Goop look bad.

What (if anything) does Blasberg do? I hope it's something that pays well, because I suspect his gravy train just got lost in the sewer.

[quote]Derek supposedly left some money for Gwynnie's cleaner to tend to the mess. It was such an insultingly small amount that the cleaner complained. And Gwynnie took her side.

Lolololol.

[quote]What (if anything) does Blasberg do?

House shitting.

Look at the Wikipedia career section. He jumps around from job to job to job.

His actual profession is social climbing. Until he got feces on the walls and ceiling.

What's with all these uppity queens from St. Louis? First, Andy Cohen, now this poseur.

If he’s run afoul of Goop, he’s probably finished. She doesn’t act anymore, but she’s A-list and certainly has enough influence to get somebody canceled.

[quote] What do you think Miss Blasberg is doing right now? Shaking and crying? Shitting his own bed?

He is on Amazon right now ordering 5 cases of ultra depends - the kind for explosive anal discharges. He knows that his ass is literally on the line. And he can’t withstand another unfortunate incident.

Dial “D” for Diarrhea

[quote]R97 some people said he was a nice guy but most people said he was a complete operator who had no time or interest in anyone who wasn’t famous, powerful or wildly wealthy.

I remember. He’d just [italic]shit[/italic] on the “little people”!

Yeah, treated them like “crap”

Every time his friends see Derek, they should sing "DUH DUH DUH DIARRHEA! DUH DUH DUH DIARRHEA!"

His whole attitude and posturing back then just screamed “I’M HOT SHIT!”

Had Gwyneth just clued into that…!

I preferred Derek to that other gay male socialite Gawker used to feature - Kristian Laliberte.

Now that POS was insufferable.

Derek was just sort of transparently materialistic.

R116, when I was a kid my brother and I thought that "On the Radio" sounded like "Diarrhea" enough that that's the way we sang it.

To the unending annoyance of our parents.

Lol R119.

So immature, but so hilarious!

Apparently, Derek ate some strawberry jam from an unopened jar that he found in a box mailed to Goop from Montecito, California. The petrified lemons surrounding the jar should have been a warning.

R120, we were eight and six, respectively, dancing around the living room and singing along to the song with a heart-felt chorus of "Diarrhea!"

Good times.

I wonder what the husband thinks of all this.

“No, you cannot bottom ever again!”

Celebrity barnacle-like Blasberg, more like a Celebrity Lampre. Boring into the flesh of his prey.

Derek

If only Andy Cohen had shit some famous person's bed back in the 1990s, imagine all of the societal devolution we would have been saved.

If he’d only done it at Kathy Griffin’s house, she could’ve built a whole new act around it.

Blasberg - a celebrity no one could explain.

I love you, r86.

Back to subject: So how the hell did he blast it up onto the CEILING?

He deliberately aimed at the ceiling r128.

He shit the runs onto the ceiling? Talented guy.

GOOP captured video footage from her home security cam.

R128, he probably got it on his hands when he was a sleep and flung it to the ceiling when he woke up in shock. That's my guess.

Actually it does R93.

The ceiling had to be REPAINTED.

Actually, it’s a very small amount (if any). Your actual shit log doesn’t automatically contain DNA just because it came out of your ass, R133.

A friend of mine once had a drunk friend shit on his floors, walls and ceiling. He didn't witness the actual sewage-tsunami, but evidently diarrhea can leave the body with the same force as a sneeze.

NOT SO STEALTH SCAT THREAD!

[quote]There must’ve been some vendetta against him for the news to get out like this.

Derek's first job was as an editorial assistant at Vogue (no, not for Anna). He used his position to worm his way into "working" with the partnered male couple who founded Proenza Schouler, and ended up having a fling with one of them. Vogue dumped his ass as quickly as Nick Brown should.

She's a whore, darlin'.

R138 Proenza Schouler never really “happened”….i wonder if the home wrecking diarrhea cunt had anything to do with them “losing traction” as a brand we care about?? No one does.

Proenza Schouler sounds like a big nosed jew.

This may be the frau-iest thing I’ve ever posted, but I’m suddenly worried for Derek and Nick’s two little babes!

Does this couple have income that isn’t dependent on celebrity friends? Do they have any actual skills? Any family inheritances?

I mean - what are they going to do now…. go get factory jobs??

[quote] I mean - what are they going to do now…. go get factory jobs??

MARY!

Blasberg is a bottom-feeding social climber.

He's a survivor. He'll get by.

Have we confirmed that Derek Blasberg & Kirker aren't one and the same?

Yea, some of us, R143

Blastberg

Shitberg.

This is extremely embarrassing. He must feel like shit.

It could be worse.

He could be Milo Donkeyteefs squatting in a bankruptcy case mansion while wearing plastic fish on his feet as shoes.

I've had some peripheral dealings with this person and this incident only confirms what I have always suspected - he is brim-full of shit.

So - where does he go from here? I’m guessing he already has a PR person. Are they just advising him to stay buttoned up and sit quietly? Not make a peep?

Like he originally should have in that guest bed?

I spoke with a forensic expert, who has run some tests and believes a fan was involved. Perhaps the accused was squatting on it.

They are continuing to study splatter patterns.

He was make a short landing in stormy weather and sucked up a duck.

Tasteful forensic friends. Goop had the crime scene up at airbnb. Not available now. You think she´s renovating?

R145, ?

Sincerely, r99.

R153, the Airbnb is her Montecito home. The crime scene was in the Hamptons.

Next time:

"Derek, you're in the brown room this weekend."

I wonder if there are photos. Like, if the housekeeper texted Gwyneth some, asking [bold]“?!?!?!?!”

Oh, there are photos.

R155 Oh shit,i messed up. Now i feel like Derek.

But thanks for the correction!

This thread stinks!

Agreed. The whole story REEKS to [italic]high heaven![/italic]

And the way it’s just been DUMPED out there by the media[bold] : o

On his iPod.

Where was Amber Turd at the time of the incident?

Maybe a new thing will be big, fancy litter boxes that roll away under mattresses, like a trundle bed. At least in guest rooms.

That way people can hop out of the bed and straight into the litter box if they can’t make it to the bathroom.

Blastberg could design them and Paltrow could endorse them - and the venture would bring the pair back together again.

R164, Goop would be smart to do something like that. Sudden, uncontrollable loose stools are not uncommon with Ozempic. Goop should get out ahead of the market in this.

He probably left the maid 20 bucks.

Goop should partner with ServPro. She could make a fortune doing those commercials where they clean up the crime scene!

R166, I don't know what the going tip is for "clean shit off the ceiling".

I assume I'd treat the free stay like a night at a hotel room with comparable location and amenities and dole out the cash accordingly. $400, $500?

[quote]Goop would be smart to do something like that. Sudden, uncontrollable loose stools are not uncommon with Ozempic. Goop should get out ahead of the market in this.

Really, could any Eau du Blasberg smell worse than the GOOP candle that's Eau de Gwinnie's Pussy?

Poo Soes could be their spokesmodel! It’s her big break!

[quote]R168 I don't know what the going tip is for "clean shit off the ceiling". I assume I'd treat the free stay like a night at a hotel room with comparable location and amenities and dole out the cash accordingly. $400, $500?

Oh god, I am thinking $2,000 MINIMUM. Remember, you are buying their SILENCE. I wouldn’t even want the maid telling Goop!

Some people are so cheap. What’s the point of being a glam jet setter if you can’t throw a few thousand dollars around??

I actually think $5,000 is what should have been proffered in BlasTberg’s position. [italic]Live a little!

Blastberg doesn’t have $5000.

Goop calling 911: "Operator, I have an emergency. Diarrhea on the ceiling!"

Operator: "Ma'am, this is an Arby's"

[quote]R172 Blastberg doesn’t have $5000.

Why? Doesn’t his husband have a job? Are they both mere moth-eaten hangers on??

I’m surprised Gweny hangs out with The Poors.

Oh, [italic]I see. [/italic]

Was this all just a marketing build up for Goop’s new release of machine washable rugs??

This is such a messy story.

If I ever created that kind of mess, I'd tip at least 2K. I'd put a do not disturb sign on the door so they wouldn't find it as I went to get the cash.

Just curious, does this explosive diarrhea just happen in your sleep and you wake up to it after having rolled around in it? Or does in wake you up in terror with not enough time to get to the bathroom?

Thankfully, I have no idea!

R175 That’d make a great SNL commercial sendup.

“Problems with guests shutting up your guest room? We’ll worry no more!”

Ugh, fucking autocorrect. SHITTING up ^

>> Shit talking << Leaking in the Hamptons

Ever since the phantom Hamptons crapper was unveiled as celebrity barnacle Derek Blasberg, Gwyneth Paltrow has come in for quite a bit of flak. Society types are appalled she'd break a cardinal rule of hosting and blab about her guest's gastrointestinal indiscretion.

But in fairness to Gwynnie, the leak may not have been her.

Gwyneth was lunching with Oprah Winfrey and Jerry Seinfeld when her irate housekeeper called, shouting loudly about the horrors she'd discovered, yelling about how much she hates "that fucking friend" of hers. And – most damning - complaining about the tip that had been left at the scene of the crime.

[quote]her irate housekeeper called, shouting loudly about the horrors she'd discovered, yelling about how much she hates "that fucking friend" of hers.

This housekeeper should be a DL icon.

This sounds like a white guy sequel to Six Degrees of Separation. Who’d play Goop, though?

This is just much A DOO DOO about nothing!

Derek should be worried, but Nick, not so mcg. Nick graduated Harvard, has real UWS society credentials and was recruited by JP Morgan during his Sr. year and is now a very successful venture capitalist. I'm sure he was targeted by Blastberg too.

Jeez…. if hubs took this opportunity to cut ties and ditch Blastberg, he’d really be up shit creek.

This is quite a SHIT STORM!

Video footage of GOOP confronting Derek....

[quote]r182 her irate housekeeper called, shouting loudly about the horrors she'd discovered,

Housekeeper to Goop: “Bitch, shit just got REAL!”

He’s posting again…

And this

Mr. Armani had better check his pants leg for POO STAINS.

GOOP'S HOUSEKEEPER (loudly, on Goop's intercom): Your fucking friend Derek just did something disgusting!!!

GOOP (having a lovely lunch with Oprah Winfrey and Jerry Seinfeld): I'm having a lunch meeting - tell me what happened, but please...use euphemisms.

GOOP'S HOUSEKEEPER: All right. He coated the bed, the walls and the ceiling with something the color of Oprah Winfrey that smells like Jerry Seinfeld.

[quote] Just curious, does this explosive diarrhea just happen in your sleep and you wake up to it after having rolled around in it? Or does in wake you up in terror with not enough time to get to the bathroom?

I think you have a very very short window in which to act once you feel the rumblings going on in your ass. If you don’t act immediately it’s all coming out and it ain’t going to be pretty.

This thread is a scat lover's dream!

I think constipation is a more likely side effect of Ozempic et al than is diarrhea. Maybe diarrhea happens if you eat too much fat on Ozempic.

I agree with the poster upthread who believes Derek was involved in some sort of anal play.

R197 OMG - anal play whilst staying at Goop’s mansion. That is a bold choice. Was he finger fucking him self or had he brought ‘props’ along for the weekend.

^ I thought Goop had a line of fecally scented dildos. She probably left one on each guest's pillow. So this is really all her fault.

The explosive shitting woke you up while it’s happening.

I'd ashk Derek Blashberg, What good is shitting all over your room?

I mean, alone in your room!

Red sky at night….DILDO DELIGHT!!

GOOPY POOPY

Is there any coming back from this for Derek Blasberg? I have no idea how he can hang out with A-listers ever again after this.

[quote] Those poor maids. Paltrow must have been standing right over them as they were scrubbing the shit stains.

I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the POOP!

CLEAN up this MESS!!!!

Jesus Christ!!!

[quote]if hubs took this opportunity to cut ties and ditch Blastberg, he’d really be up shit creek.

And without a paddle. I am assuming if he had a paddle he would have been able to at least knock the turds off the ceiling.

I wish someone would attempt to explain how one could possibly hit the ceiling.

R209 It was explosive diarrhea, his ass was like a god damn volcano going off. He probably rolled over in bed and took out the ceiling with one extremely violent and forceful explosion.

GOOP should just burn the house down and rebuild. You can't come back from this. 🤢

I, too, am wondering how an ass could forcefully expel shit ALL THE WAY UP TO THE CEILING. Jesus. Was eating chili cheese dogs with onions and swilling Jack Daniels before said ceiling spattering?

That Variety blurb @ R39 makes Gwyn, Blasberg & their friend circle present worse than the incident itself.

I understand she was pissed off due to the sneakiness of it all, but it’s not like Gwyn has zero skeletons in her closet, & she’s snorted plenty of lines in her day, until she switched to whatever she’s on now.

That’s the REAL Goop lifestyle in a nutshell: weight loss drugs, appetite suppressants, a little coke here, a zani bar there, secret, behind the scenes packs of American Spirit cigs stashed in the desk drawer, & endless medical spa treatments to mitigate the damage.

Looks like she hangs out with some pretty shitty “friends”. Pun absolutely intended.

Why is that? Why is a lifestyle mogul hanging out with a dude who shat the bed, sprayed it on to the wallpaper & ceiling, & then took off without any explanation?

Because he doesn’t genuinely respect her.

I’ve always laughed at the stupid stuff this woman does, however, barring the exploding candles, she appeared harmless.

She’s not. She planted this, obviously, & she’s quite cruel for having done so, but Glasberg is an asshole as well, so they’re even.

Please, if some grifter had the temerity to blast shit all over your guest room and not even leave a tip generous enough to overcome the revulsion he'd imposed on your cleaning staff, you'd be out for blood as well, r213.

I'm no fan of Goop, but he is clearly an asshole enough to bring about this situation. He could have handled it a lot better, by either leaving a massive tip, or paying top dollar to get one of those crime scene cleaners in at short notice.

I know a couple of guys who have a business cleaning crime scenes and clearing out hoarders' houses, and they've had to take care of sites where bodies decomposed for days, weeks or months before being discovered. Someone like that who would be prepared for the horror is far more suited to dealing with this scenario. If Goop shat the bed/ceiling/entire room at someone else's house, she'd get in the crime scene cleaners because they're the best and their price could be negotiated to include confidentiality.

R213, as R214 says it's not that it happened - it's how he reacted. And we don't have the full story really of how he reacted.

If he not only panicked but lost his temper (a distinct possibility) his exit could have been a whole lot uglier than the mere fact of some fecal matter on the chandelier.

My suggestion would have been to stay on site and assist as best as possible with clean-up if you don't have the cash to handle it. Apologize profusely to the cleaners and to Goop. Make some attempt at future recompense and follow through with same. Once that's secured, send a gift of flowers with the tip. And then stay the fuck out of everyone's way for a month or three and assume an invite to stay the night is no longer in the cards.

If the housekeeper was really angry, that means he's been abusing Goop's hospitality way past a single potentially medical situation.

R214, R215: I absolutely agree with you both.

I was under the impression that he had left money behind?

That said, it obviously wasn’t enough. No one carries a check book around anymore, & it never occurred to me that cleaning that up professionally would be a consideration, & I’m aware that it would cost upwards to thousands of dollars, which I doubt he had on him at the time. Also, I haven’t considered whether or not he even has that kind of money. I’m assuming he does? But perhaps he doesn’t.

Yes. I would have been FURIOUS. Would I have told the other guests, had I gone looking for him, only to find shit every where? Absolutely. Would I have leaked it to TMZ? Probably not, unless he refused to make it right financially.

I’m not Gwyn, & not in her shoes, so OK - apologies for stating/talking shit, without knowing the full story.

R216, I assume the housekeeper leaked it to TMZ. They pay for tips about shit, whereas Blasberg literally didn't.

Had he been the perfect houseguest every other time...the housekeeper wouldn't be screaming about how much she hated his fucking guts.

He's been bossing the staff around and probably leaving a mess behind whenever he's there and Gwyneth was not is my guess.

His reign of terror is over, thank The Goddess.

Gwenyth probably tipped the housekeeper by letting her leak the story and keep the money for the tip to TMZ.

That’s smart of Gwyneth. Use TMZ’s money to pay the housekeeper.

R218, don't you mean his rain of terroir?

Derriere of terroir.

Can every please stop using the word “leak” in re: to this story??

Thank you.

[italic]Oh, what a feeling

When we're poopin’ on the ceiling

Oh, what a feeling

When we're poopin’ on the ceiling

[quote]He could have handled it a lot better, by either leaving a massive tip, or paying top dollar to get one of those crime scene cleaners in at short notice.

I seriously doubt this dude has any significant amount of his own money. He hangs out with all these celebrities in order to be gifted things for free and have them pay his bills. He wasn't paying for a hotel or Airbnb in the Hamptons...he was staying in Gwyneth's guest room for free, and probably only had $20 to leave the housekeeper after he blasted the ceiling.

Was the ceiling detail part of the leaked story? I just can’t believe it (but I do).

Every inch of that room must be steam cleaned, sanitized, repainted, re-wallpapered, along with all new molding, baseboards, flooring, furnishings, window treatments, etc.!

R225, he must have *some* money saved from all the freebies and freeloading?

Ozempic is nasty stuff.

He pretty much destroyed a room. Who would want to scrub a ceiling, then paint over it? Better to replace the parts with shit all over them.

If he had no decent amount of money on him, he should have reached out to Goop, begged forgiveness and committed to paying for all the damage plus generous tips for people dealing with the horror. He must have some actual income.

You just don't blast shit everywhere and run.

R230, the fuck you don't!

Burn it, r227. Re-build. Mr. and Mrs. Goop have the money.

Apologies, r211. I missed your post.

This is why, when I am staying over, I wear pajamas.

Enema mishap? How does one spray shit on the ceiling?

That is the eternal question, r235.

Projectile diarrhoea? We spell it differently in Australia...

Nothing is clean!!!

Why is Blastberg being so silent on this?

Did he lock himself in the bathroom?

You can take the mean girl out of high school...

Maybe Apple leaked it? She’s allegedly a mean bitch.

R238 he’s in Europe at a very it NY crowd gay wedding. Friend sent me a bunch of insta stories with him in them.

Oh what a feeling, when you’re spraying shit on the ceiling!

[quote] he’s in Europe at a very it NY crowd gay wedding

I can just imagine all the snickering going on behind the scenes.

You know how the gays love a good gossip!

>> Shits and giggles << The plop thickens...

The Hamptons set still haven't settled down on the Goop-poop story. The one piece missing from it all so far has been the motive. What would make Gwyneth turn on a houseguest like that? Why was she so happy to hang a friend out to dry – alongside all that devastated bed-linen?

Well, East Coast tattle-tales are now saying it's revenge. Gwyneth had heard Derek was the source of a scurrilous rumour that's been dogging her husband, Brad Falchuk. So aired his dirty laundry by way of payback.

As for the Ozempic bit, that mostly appears to have been pushed along by Jessica Seinfeld - who very much sees herself as a linchpin between the Hamptons and Hollywood sets, taking great relish in explaining the situation to anyone who asks.

So who gets the complete goop poop scoop first.

Hedda ore Louella

Jessica Seinfeld? Ugh...Goop you can do so much better...

[quote]R244 East Coast tattle-tales are now saying it's revenge. Gwyneth had heard Derek was the source of a scurrilous rumour that's been dogging her husband. So aired his dirty laundry by way of payback.

This goes back to what I’ve proclaimed from the beginning: Blastberg could have been set up! How easy it would have been for Goop, Apple and the housekeeper to secrete away their own waste, then fling it about the guest room once he’d departed.

You must admit it IS possible.

Why has there been no police investigation? Is it because Goop knows certain clues might send the whole house of poop tumbling down about her ears? I wonder.

What was the rumour about Brad Falchuk?

Probably that he's a closet case, R248.

Before he got together with Goop, I myself actually thought he was gay.

He's cute too.

A journalist should ask Goop.

GOOP-POOPGATE!

[quote] You just don't blast shit everywhere and run.

Exactly, who does that kind of shit. Didn’t his parents teach him any level of human decency.

I heard it spelled out, "Thanks for a great time! Had to go!"

[Quote]Maybe Apple leaked it? She’s allegedly a mean bitch.

Crapple.

Like a chocolate firehose, I heard.

The Goops had to move out for a while.

At least he didn't fuck her couch.

He’d only fuck the couch if there were billions under the cushions.

Given the fact that Goop is friends with Oprah, RDJ and Brad Pitt, there just might be.