How to Handle the Office Floozy

We put up with men all the time, OP.

Suck it up, buttercup.

How would you go about getting her fired? I'm interested to hear...

She sounds so annonying

Run her over with your car and make it look like an accident.

Someone's annoyed with a co-worker? Ground breaking.

I would much rather have an upbeat albeit slutty co-worker than a humorless Debbie Downer type that loves to cause drama and stress.

The floozy is one of the foundations of the basic universal office character pantheon. To remove her from the equation would be like removing the brown-nose, the jokester, or the social director. Your entire coworker ecosystem might crumble.

I assume you, OP, must be the sassy gay. You're just fulfilling your role by denigrating your office mates. But always remember: scratch, never cut. That slut is your sister, and even if you don't like her, you need her.

send her to me i'll deal with it

Introduce her to a few rich, older, or not-too-attractive men looking for an accessory/trophy wife and hope that they whisk her away to a differnt lifestyle. Would she be trophy wife material? Or is she too old/haggard (three teenagers!)

OP, buy a matching wig and begin dressing like her - but more full figured and less hirsute.

Office floozies make the best work buddies for gay men.

She's one step from the street, that one!

Ask her for pointers.

You’re obviously jealous of the attention she gets.

How unsubtle is she?

Plot twist: OP is schizophrenic and the floozy is actually him in a dress. (Picture Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie)

I would just ignore her but be cordial. She doesn't sound like a troublemaker or tattle-tale, so just forget it.

[quote]I would much rather have an upbeat albeit slutty co-worker than a humorless Debbie Downer type that loves to cause drama and stress.

This is true. It could be worse, OP.

From someone who sat between Fantasy Football Bore and Insecure Aging Virgin for three years.

Does the management know about her antics? If they do and haven't done anything about it then you'd best mind you business.

R13, I love Adele! That was just what I needed.

r6 sagacious advice!

I’m so glad I don’t work in an office anymore. Before Covid I sat next to a similar character in cubicle format. She screeched so loudly it registered a decibel warning on my Apple Watch! I announced this to everyone in the area as it happened and she was quite embarrassed. Though it didn’t stop it forever, it did for a while then she got fired for sleeping with too many other employees.

Ask her for her help to pray or play *ahem* the gay away and see what she does.

One, or both of you might get fired.

usually this type of person is a trouble maker, they like to spread gossip

^ Are you talking about the aspiring office mattress or OP?

Both, r23.

She's back after the Fourth, wearing an American flag halter top. I shit you not. I can count her stretchmarks.

What is the whore up to now?

I worked in a Corporate office that had casual Fridays during the summer. One rather Rubenesque young woman wore white lace short shorts to work. At first I thought they were underpants because that's what they looked like. I don't think she was ho but she did think she was being fashion forward. She wasn't.

I'd probably become BFFAW with her. Otherwise I don't feel I have to handle anyone unless I supervise them. Go in and do you work and go home. Don't gossip or play office politics. You'll find you'll have a better career that way and a lot less stress. WTF handling someone at work.

Can we get the Foundation Garments troll's opinion?

I came here to post the video, but r13 beat me to it.

Adele, The Office Slut Who Was Bad At Innuendo was one of the greatest one-off SNL characters.

Oh, now don’t tell me you don’t know how to start a whispering campaign.

First, identify anyone who may have her back and be careful not to let anything you say reach that person.

Extend lunch invitations to any group of which she would naturally be a part, and exclude her.

Talk about “the party last week” with someone whose desk is reasonably close to hers.

Craft a few in jokes. They don’t need to be funny.

Gauge how insane the above has made her. If she’s proof against it by this point, you may have no choice but to go back to concentrating on your work.

Let us know how it’s going.

Unless she wears too much cologne that permeates the entire office every day, I wouldn't be bothered by her.

Are you secretly jealous and would like to get handsy with some of the guys yourself?

How to handle a woman? There's a way, said the wise old man.

OP, dearest, the proper term is bullet bra.

Just for the record, folks, OP's not talking about me.

The office floozy at an old job of mine wore pencil skirts and killer heels and smoked a Parliament Light 100 every ninety minutes on the dot.

Copy her OP. Wear your best pair of daisy dukes, sparkle wedges, netted crop top and flirt with all the men.... Im sure it will go over just as well. After all, most men are secretly bi!

[quote] So how do I cope?

Is there an Office Cocksucker, who does quickies in the men's room? Maybe you could assume that position.

R38 I'd love to, but two issues:

1) Most of the men in my office are gross, unsexy Republican types who smoke and/or chew

2) The men's room floor always has a puddle of piss after 10am, and I'm not putting my knees anywhere near that.

Be careful OP before you end up floozying yourself up out the office into the unemployment line. Keep your opinions to yourself and tread lightly. Never underestimate the power of pussy.

Be courteous to her. That's it, no need to do anything else.

I fart in her face and leave her to deal with the aftermath.

Tell the Office Gossip that you heard she has The Clap.

Ignore and avoid her

[quote] Don't gossip or play office politics. You'll find you'll have a better career that way and a lot less stress.

Ha! I recently got transferred out of my division because I minded my own business, worked with my office door closed, did not get involved with my coworkers outside of work. (They organize Friday night and Saturday outings, plus celebrate birthdays every month - I don't participate.)

Tell that hussy you got her number.

Any updates, OP?

No real updates. She's still a flooze, and still tarting it up every day.

They're really cranking the A/C this time of year, so she has to wear cutesy little half-sweaters over her tunics. I'm waiting for her to make a giggly little joke about the cold affecting her nipples.

Suggest she seriously consider an optional career as a local TV station female on-air meteorologist, OP.

I really wonder about what makes some people act this way. It’s bad enough when they act like this outside of work, but when they bring this behavior into the workplace it’s just SAD.

“Hey Torpedo Tits, would you mind getting me that file?”

what about the bootlickers? How do you handle them? I see so many of them say over the top shit to kiss ass and it's just so nauseating to me.

You're super hot! (when the boss is butt ugly)...

I'm the blunt type person who will tell you the unpleasant truth...that you need to hear. Of course I tone it down at work but I never go crazy butt kissing etc...

unfortunately it works for these fake cunts.

She’s recently been eclipsed by a new worker.

The Divorced Boomer Grandma Reentering the Workforce.

Cindy has a smoker’s voice, and she can’t use SharePoint or Teams, and she decorated her cube overnight with a cow skin rug and a bust of Nefertiti. She listens to sports podcasts at lunch, no headphones, and tells everyone about her second ex-husband’s new life.

OP=Amanda Farrow, editor

1/10

Is the floozy named Kelly? I know a floozy just like yours, OP.

[quote] Anyway, as mentioned, she's uncomfortably forward and a little handsy with men around the office.

This is exactly why they invented the phrase "Bad touch!"

OP, you work in Lauren Boebert's bar?

R57 They're mostly tradesmen and construction contractors. They love her torpedo tits.

If she were selling them something, she'd be queen of the goddamn universe by now.

Your office sounds like a lot of fun, OP. I wish I worked there.