Did Conrad end up living out of a van? Did Beth marry a Houston oil millionaire? Did Calvin come out as a late-life gay and open a B&B?
Share your theories with me, DL!
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Did Conrad end up living out of a van? Did Beth marry a Houston oil millionaire? Did Calvin come out as a late-life gay and open a B&B?
Share your theories with me, DL!
by Anonymous | reply 40 | June 30, 2024 2:53 PM |
Several days after supposedly leaving that morning for Houston, Beth was found riding up and down the escalators for hours on end at Neiman Marcus wearing the same clothes she had on when she left the house and yelling “isn’t this crazy?” to all the other shoppers.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | June 29, 2024 4:34 PM |
After moving to Houston, Beth built a completely new life as FTM Seth Barrett and enjoyed a successful career as a mortgage broker.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | June 29, 2024 4:48 PM |
After divorcing Calvin, Beth moved to New York and “flirted with disaster” by converting to Judaism, marrying again, and adopting a son named Mel.
All the while she maintained her control freak impulses, but under the new guise of being overly emotive and high strung... and with the help of a good bra.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | June 29, 2024 4:52 PM |
Conrad became a yuppie and went into advertising.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | June 29, 2024 4:52 PM |
In all honesty: I'm sure Beth married one of their rich widowed or divorced friends within a year, since it is impossible to imagine her single for very long and she was attractive and bred to be a good businessman's wife. She probably made her stepchildren's lives complete hell with her constant passive-aggressiveness and pointed remarks. Con probably spent the rest of her life trying to reconcile with her, and though for appearance's sake she would likely get together with him, he probably always still felt her constant disapproval. The dad probably also re-married, but to someone much nicer and less rigid.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | June 29, 2024 4:54 PM |
Lazenby moved to Bozeman and became best friends with John Dutton.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | June 29, 2024 4:55 PM |
Buck stayed dead.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | June 29, 2024 4:58 PM |
[quote]under the new guise of being overly emotive and high strung... and with the help of a good bra
Well fitted foundation garments are the backbone America was built on.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | June 29, 2024 4:59 PM |
DL is really obsessed with this film.
It obviously has an innate level of camp. We need an essay: The Innate Camp of Ordinary People. Subtitled: This is why they hate us.
Conrad Jarrett has probably taken a male lover, after all that masturbation talk with chest carpet Judd Hirsch. He probably has a hairy Jewish boyfriend which further disgusts Beth. Cal is fully supportive though and has remarried to a hippie wife.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | June 29, 2024 5:00 PM |
I tend to agree with Pauline Kael in that Beth leaving the house never made sense. The house was her showpiece. It would have made more sense for the men to stay in an apartment for a while.
Beth was all about appearances. If she left it probably stands to reason that she didn’t come back. And face everyone again?
by Anonymous | reply 10 | June 29, 2024 5:04 PM |
Beth never gets on that plane and Conrad misses his next shrink appointment.
Cal had scratched their names onto a few .45 caliber bullets.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | June 29, 2024 5:06 PM |
Beth and Carol Lazenby decided to visit Palm Springs for some “golf” during Dinah Shore Weekend, if you know what I mean.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | June 29, 2024 5:09 PM |
Beth did what she had to do.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | June 29, 2024 5:25 PM |
Jesus, r11. Pretty grim.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | June 29, 2024 6:44 PM |
Cal would never, R11!
by Anonymous | reply 15 | June 29, 2024 7:56 PM |
[quote] talk with chest carpet Judd Hirsch.
Love this.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | June 29, 2024 7:59 PM |
They opened an ice rink in Sheboygan, Michigan.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | June 29, 2024 8:00 PM |
It’s Cheybogan. MI.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | June 29, 2024 8:31 PM |
I mean, Cheboygan. Sorry.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | June 29, 2024 8:31 PM |
No it’s not, idiot.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | June 29, 2024 9:07 PM |
In the book Beth and Calvin split up. Beth returns to town and she and Conrad work on their relationship. The book ends with Conrad making an effort to reconnect with Lazenby.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | June 29, 2024 9:15 PM |
And Buck?
by Anonymous | reply 22 | June 29, 2024 9:20 PM |
Beth kicked Carol Lazenby in the cuntbone then invited her to die in grease fire.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | June 29, 2024 9:47 PM |
I think people are way too hard on Beth, she lost her son and her other son attempted suicide within a year of that, it's a lot to take, especially for a woman raised to believe that appearances were the most important thing.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | June 29, 2024 9:49 PM |
The fixation with Ordinary People is just one more good reason I keep coming back to this place.
The fixation with Bonnie Franklin is another.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | June 29, 2024 9:58 PM |
Beth traded in the Olds 98 at Wenban Buick in Lake Forest for a 1980 Skylark Limited. It gave her nothing but trouble, but that’s how she met Tony the mechanic, who lived with his mother in Highwood. As Cal kept the Onwentsia membership, she had to recreate the country club scene from “All That Heaven Allows” at the snack bar of The Lake Forest Club, the swim and tennis waiting room club.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | June 29, 2024 10:14 PM |
Just when you think you can take a big crap- you can’t.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | June 29, 2024 10:16 PM |
I thought Conrad went to military school and became like leader of the cadets. There was some kind of incident at the school.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | June 29, 2024 10:39 PM |
Buck would have never stayed dead!
by Anonymous | reply 29 | June 29, 2024 10:53 PM |
The house with the intact family was her showpiece. It makes sense that she leaves when the family has fallen apart; a part of her would care a lot about what the neighbors think of her nuclear family meltdown, and she is definitely strong enough to dust herself off and start over in a nice house in a different upscale suburb with a fine golf and country club. I think she'd try to stay in touch with Conrad and probably not move too far away at least for a couple of years. I don't see Beth as a villain: at some level she still loves her son and will try to salvage whatever relationship they can manage.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | June 29, 2024 11:10 PM |
Brazilian butt lift and a boob job. What? A girl’s gotta eat.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | June 29, 2024 11:20 PM |
Zombie Karen showed up and held the house under siege like in Night of the Living Dead.
Beth stopped her in the end by glaring.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | June 29, 2024 11:36 PM |
[quote]In the book Beth and Calvin split up. Beth returns to town and she and Conrad work on their relationship. The book ends with Conrad making an effort to reconnect with Lazenby.
I never read the book, after seeing this comment I read a summary, and as with most adaptations, a lot was left out of the movie.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | June 30, 2024 1:42 AM |
R1- LOL, your comment is the funniest on this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | June 30, 2024 1:58 AM |
After a huge settlement and lifelong alimony, Beth went to Houston. Her brother, Ward, has a swimming pool he's so proud of. She erased Calvin and Conrad from her life. She bought a beautiful home and hired a maid who dusted the living room properly. She glacially rebuffed straight men and had few female friends. She was close to the gay couple who lived next door. They escorted her to the theatre, dinner and other events. One of them looked like Buck. She didn't like lesbians; she hated Birkenstocks
by Anonymous | reply 35 | June 30, 2024 2:57 AM |
On the way to the airport, Beth impulsively swung by Dr. Berger’s office to confront him for ruining her family and her marriage with his fawning, indulgent behavior towards Connie. Although she had no idea what he was saying when he angrily expressed that he ought to lick her shmunda and shtup her shiksa tuches with his schmeckel right then and there, she suddenly felt aroused.
Days later after taking a Berlitz crash course on Yiddish, she rushed back to Dr. Bergers office wearing a tennis dress and no panties to take him up on the offer.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | June 30, 2024 3:04 AM |
[quote]Brazilian butt lift and a boob job. What? A girl’s gotta eat.
I'm assuming that was for Conrad, who's now performing as a drag queen named Connie in New Orleans.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | June 30, 2024 3:37 AM |
She made French toast every morning and then shoved it down the garbage disposal.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | June 30, 2024 3:42 AM |
On the contrary, Beth became a celebrated home and lifestyle guru when she discovered a way to successfully save french toast.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | June 30, 2024 3:45 AM |
[quote] I tend to agree with Pauline Kael in that Beth leaving the house never made sense. The house was her showpiece
I disagree. She was the perfect homemaker, wife and mother, but she wasn’t Hyacinth Bucket. The unchecked emotion of Conrad and Calvin revolted her. She wanted out of there.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | June 30, 2024 2:53 PM |
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