Really bad movies

It’s a tie: The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover

and

The Blair Witch Project

Even Caligula pales in comparison.

Ruby’s Dream with Joe Pesci, Titanic 666, Wake the Witch, Lost in the Dark.

Cabin Boy

Into the Woods

That stupid Gotti movie with John Travolta

Waterworld wins this hands down for me. Even Plan 9 From Outer Space was more coherent and believable

Angel Heart. Just horrible.

Cruising.

Meet The Parents, Meet The Fockers. and Little Fockers

Celebrating fifty years of inflicting agony in 2024.

R8 I hope you are in therapy for your PTSD for that, there are some promising new treatments now.

And with over a dozen tours of duty under your belt, you need them

At my age, I've seen more movies than I can remember. I've probably forgotten any bad ones I saw 30 or 40 years ago. A couple of years ago, though, I streamed the Austrailian film "True History of the Kelly Gang", which was the worst movie I had ever watched. But I recently watched "I Saw the TV Glow". What a piece of shit. I still think "Kelly Gang" is the worst, but "TV" is giving it a run for its money.

I don't see movies I don't think I'm going to enjoy, but Black Swan was horrible. I don't know how I kept myself from walking out of the theater.

"Light Sleeper" from 1992 with Willem Dafoe and Susan Sarandon. Ugh.

Seberg.

V.I. Warshawski was awful. Worst music I've ever heard in a theatrical release. Great casting, horrible execution.

The Reincarnation of Peter Proud

My best friend and I use John Houstons' The Dead as the measure for worst movie we ever sat through.

We were college sophomores and I dragged her to it. She still holds it against my movie picking abilities.

The Prince of Tides

Ishtar

That’s plain dumb—it’s a very fine film. R16

R16. And I think The Dead is probably one of my top 20 movies. But I love the Joyce story, the Hustons, and the universally superb cast.

M. Night Shyamalan's Old.

The premise was decent. The execution ruined everything.

Cat People.

Noah. Holy shit indeed.

Three that come to mind are THE FIRST WIVES CLUB, the Kenneth Branagh FRANKENSTEIN with DeNiro, and MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING.

Paddington fucking 2. Rule Britannia post-Brexit agitprop.

Sex and the City. The second one was especially cringeworthy.

I forgot to mention the first SEX AND THE CITY movie as another one of the absolute worst I've ever seen. I've heard from many people that the second one was even worse, which is hard for me to imagine.

The last one I paid to see was a Hulk movie directed by Chang and Eng or whatever his name was (he of "crouching tiger hidden bullshit)" I forget who played the hulk, he looked like a poor man's Victor Garber. Horrible doesn't even begin to describe how horrible it was. .the guy played Victor Von Doom on something else and I so don't care I'm not even going to Google it.

Tarzan, the Ape Man, starring the irrelevant Bo Derek. What a piece of crap.

“They’re painting my hair! They’re painting it WHIIIIITE!” One of the worst line readings in movie history.

Eye of the Beholder with Ashley Judd and Ewan McGregor comes to mind. I saw it at a second-run movie theater on a whim, and the audience was laughing out loud at certain parts (where that response was definitely not intended), it was so terrible.

I mixed up my actors. The hulk was Eric Bana.

Martyrs.

Agreed, R28, but that TARZAN did have the major saving grace of Miles O'Keefe's truly spectacular body, one of the most breathtakingly beautiful ever captured on film, IMHO :-)

Wind

"Hackers" with Angelina Jolie. Wretched.

Tied between The Blair Witch Project and The Dark Tower

I am sure I have seen worse movies but I was looking forward to those 2 and they both sucked so so so bad.

The Chronicles of Riddick, Ultraviolet, The Village, Mother!, and Baseketball were movies I actually walked out of, it was so bad.

The Number 23 and Boondock Saints.

Exorcist II: The Heretic

Talk to Me

The Human Centipede, bar none. This is the most depraved, disgusting film ever created and anyone who doesn't agree is just as depraved. And I never say something like that about opinions, but if you like this film, there is something inherently wrong with you.

It was Hawt!🧎🏼‍➡️🧎🏼‍➡️🧎🏼‍➡️🧎🏼‍➡️

Bad bad or fun bad?

As far as the latter goes, I'd say "The Lonely Lady." It was such a perfect object that I went back to the theater twice that week, not sure if I'd ever get to see it again (long before videocassettes and DVDs, much less streaming). When it was released on Blu-Ray after decades I got my first Blu-Ray player to watch it again.

"I don't suppose I'm the only one who's had to FUCK her way to the top!"

"Revenge" starring Kevin Costner, Madeline Stowe and Anthony Quinn. The only good part was when my friend farted and everyone around us got the giggles.

A dreary, dour and dull film in which nothing really happens. Roger Ebert gave it 11/2 ⭐out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐He was being generous. It was Kate Jackson's film debut, and though she has the lead female role, her name isn't featured on the poster. David Selby who play's Jackson's husband is an unappealing leading man. This was the second feature film based on the popular TV series. The first, House of Dark Shadows, is considerably better.

Moonfall. It’s jaw-droppingly terrible.

I'm going to have to say this has the worst poster for a movie

R35, I wonder, what were you expecting from THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT that you didn't get?

That Psycho remake with Anne HeHe and Vince Vaughn was beyond bad. I do have a fond memory of seeing it in the theater. My friends and I indulged in a little wacky weed beforehand and smuggled in some wine. At a tense, quiet moment in the film (not the shower scene, darnit), my friend Amanda kicked the wine bottle and you could hear it clinking all the way to the front of the theater. Followed by her really loud giggles. This always makes me 🤣.

R49, we're all sure glad we never went to the movies with you and your childish friends.

R50 needs to change her tampon.

Last Rites, starring Daphne Zuniga as some sort of seductive Mexican mistress to a mob boss. She seeks help from a priest (Tom Berenger) and ends up having sex with him. Zuniga has so much trouble with her accent AND acting sexy, that when she gets shot at the end of the movie, it’s a relief.

BreakingTthe Waves with Emma Watson. Written by Lars von Trier

Gummo.

I walked out of the theater and waited bored in the lobby for my friend to finish watching it.

I couldn't take it, i felt such a visceral sense of disgust and loathing

The Box

Synecdoche, New York

Anything with Madonna

American Woman with Sienna Miller, Aaron Paul, and Amy Madigan. Boring as fuck.

Blood Sucking Freaks.

As someone once said, "If you enjoy watching this movie, I honestly don't want to know you."

Marguerite Duras' 1975 film "India Song". Total dreck. I tried watching it in 15 minute intervals and still gave up.

The Main Event, Funny Lady, The Mirror has Two Faces...

r48, entertainment

“Tommy Boy”

“Pret a Porter”

Anything with Madonna.

Tommy Boy is funny!

Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles

Them’s fighting words, r63!!! Lucky for you the people calling it the best movie ever probably can’t throw a punch.

I loved “Jeanne Dielman”. I thought I’d be bored but surprisingly was into it and watched through without stopping.

My friend and I walked out after half an hour. Pretentiously arty and pointless

Iron fucking Weed.

Helllllooo???

I actually don't think Hallmark Christmas movies are bad, r68. True, they are formulaic, but that's a large part of their charm. Visually, the films are quite beautiful, not unlike Christmas itself.

Other networks that have tried to emulate the formula -- Lifetime, Netflix, that weird Christian channel that I think Candace Cameron Bure defected to -- haven't quite mastered that formula.

Breaks my heart as ONJs biggest fan but Two of a Kind was so horrible.

The Dolly Sisters

R69 they’re all scmaltzy rom-bombs

Oh, dear r72

R71, is it as bad as the TV series “Mr. Selfridge” starring the delicious Jeremy Piven? If so: that’s pretty bad.

Are you kidding me? Those Hallmark movies have flat photography and awful music.

Who watches a Hallmark Christmas movie and expects to see Fanny and Alexander?

I'm Thinking of Ending Things. By far the most depressing waste of time I have ever experienced. When you google the title you get a Suicide hotline, which is about how I felt after suffering through the Charlie Kaufman piece of crap starring creepy Jesse Plemons.

[Quote] Paddington fucking 2

Is that a porno?

"The English Patient."

IN case you never saw Iron fuckng Weed here's a dandy little clip for you.

I'm with r79, I fell asleep twice before I walked out.

But, then I will add to dull and boring, Moonlight.

The prelude to a Down Low hand job pissed me off because of all the wasted potential.

How do you decide between A Stranger Among Us and Shining Through?

[quote]M. Night Shyamalan's Old.

I will see your “Old” and raise you by one “Lady In The Water”.

It would take some contemplation to come up with a list, but off the top of my head, an instant answer, would be 'Eyes Wide Shut' (1999).

Good choice r54.

I remember seeing Shining Through with some friends at the .99 cent theater in our bumfuck town. When movies come around about a year after their release. We were in hysterics over this one.

R80 Pauline Kael on Ironweed

The movie has no momentum-the running time (144 minutes) is like a death sentence. The only moments of reprieve from all the sombre artistry come when Streep sings "He's Me Pal" in the all out, sentimental-Irish balladeer of a decade or two earlier.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull - it made me want to SCREAM BLOODY MURDER.

Much Ado about Nothing

R89 Oh, fuck I forgot about that. I dreamt about cutting MIchael Keaton's tongue out.

Woody Allen's musical Everyone Says I Love You (1996) Whatever Allen was aiming for- it didn't work. Woody's films have been tired and boring for decades.

"A sluggish, sputtering tune-fest performed almost entirely by the vocally challenged"-Washington Post

“Nothing But Trouble.”

Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, Dan Ackroyd.

The biggest piece of shit movie I’ve ever seen. Thirty l-something years later, it still takes the cake:

wow, I liked those movies. Nothing But Trouble was surreal and insane but unique. Eyes Wide Shut is hypnotic.

Battlefield fucking Earth.

Speed 2. OMG.

Twister had some really bad writing, especially Jami Gertz's character. But it was mindless, cheezy fun.

Vanilla Sky

Another terrible movie was THE PERFECT STORY. Great special effects but awful writing and acting. Although I can't really blame the actors, because the writing was SO bad.

[quote]Battlefield fucking Earth.

R94 I've never seen this, but I have heard from anyone that has that is an absolute steaming turd

No (love)/hate for Starship Troopers?!

I walked out of Magnum Force.

I also hated the original Starwars. I was 22 and griped on the way home that I wasn't a 10 year old boy obsessed with starship battles. Sorry...

Another vote for Branagh’s Frankenstein.

Johnny Mnemonic

Bonfire of the Vanities

Johnny Mnemonic was AWFUL

[Quote] Vanilla Sky

I love that Crowe called it that because he thinks it’s a cool expression, even though it has nothing to do with the story.

He had wanted to name one of his previous movies that, I think “Almost Famous.” The execs were like, what?

I had forgotten how much I hated “Shining Through!” What a stupid piece of crap. Like a 1950’s romance comic with swastikas.

But my all-time worst is still Disney’s “Babes in Toyland.” Total sugary, shitty kitsch! Like a turd covered with Technicolor frosting. Saw this in a theater with my older brother when it first came out. I was 12. Already I had some good sense.

The 1981 horror movie Possession starring the awful Isabelle Adjani.

The only redeeming factor is that Sam Neill is attractive in it.

The Thin Red Line.

Moment by Moment

Shanghai Surprise

💩 Rachel 💩 Getting 💩 Married 💩

Sommersby was awful despite the SIZZLING chemistry between Jodie Foster and Richard Gere.

That Crawdads Sing thing was total shit.

1997s Titanic aka Waiting for the Iceberg. Endless, unconvincing and I couldn't have cared less about the characters.

" . . . we catch ourselves thinking the unpardonable thought: OK, sink already."-WASHINGTON POST

Irma La Douce--horrible and ugly to look at

R97 I hated it too. "Vanilla Sky" is an awful and disappointing film, possibly due to Tom Cruise's involvement. It's unfortunate because it's based on the excellent 1997 The Spanish movie "Abre los ojos" (Open Your Eyes). The original film was outstanding, especially with its surprising twist.

Streaming on Amazon prime

Armageddon

My god, what trash.

Nothing But Trouble had the late, great Shock G, aka Humpty Hump.

NINE

Great source material and cast—Daniel Day Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, Sophia Loren, Judi Dench—but the whole thing was a big snore and I can’t remember anything about it.

See also: THE PRODUCERS.

Anything by Jennifer Anniston

The Ralph Bakshi "Lord of the Rings" from 1978.

Assaultingly bad.

Over the Top. Or Rhinestone. Or Cobra. Or Rocky 5.

Stallone had a lot of real clunkers during his coke days.

Holmes & Watson with Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. It was the only movie I've ever bailed on in a theater. It was THAT bad.

Howard the fucking Duck. The theater we saw it in had an employee in a duck suit come down in front of the audience and mime to what I’m guessing was the movie’s theme song. This only added to the strange experience of the film.

Bohemian fucking Rhapsody.

“Beyond the Forest”.

Oh gosh, so many. The one that comes to mind atm is The Avengers movie from 1998. Went to see it with my ex bf at the theater. The room was about 1/4 full. By midway through almost half the audience left. I don't blame them, it was absolutely dreadful! Hands down the worst movie I've seen in a theater. My ex was so disappointed, lol. He had a crush on the tv version of Miss Peel as well as one on Uma Thurman. I don't even know where to start. SLow pace, no chemistry, American made film so it doesn't get the nuance of British culture.

Que Horrible!

"as well as one on Uma THurman"

Six Days and Seven Nights.

i was enticed by the character of MGM mogul Louis B Mayer being in it, but Barton Fink meant I wasn't trusted to choose the movie we went to see, for a long time lol. It was just awful, to our gang anyways.

r121 YES! and rocketman.

I don't know why people like the Royal Tannenbaums or I Heart Huckabee's . I hate self indulging, plot lacking movies.

Moonrise Kingdom. Unattractive leading kids. Annoying Wes Anderson filming style.

Licorice Pizza. A missed opportunity for a better movie, as I actually love Paul Thomas Anderson’s work. Again, unattractive, uncharismatic leads, and a story that meanders endlessly to nowhere.

[quote]Licorice Pizza. A missed opportunity for a better movie, as I actually love Paul Thomas Anderson’s work. Again, unattractive, uncharismatic leads, and a story that meanders endlessly to nowhere.

"Unattractive, uncharismatic leads" is putting it very kindly and mildly.

Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold.

My partner kept falling asleep and waking up thinking he was seeing the same scene over and over again. It was just dreadful.

Sorry Richard Chamberlain, they can't all be SHOGUN.

RV with Robin Williams. Truly dreadful.

the early sci-fi movies with keanu reeves...soooo bad

Sex and the City 2

The Tree of Life. I vowed never to watch anything by that director ever again.

Life of Pi is not bad visually, but it's very hallow in sentiment .I know the secret of life. It's whatever ending you choose? So delude yourself? That's the big reveal!? No. Just a bit off.

A friend and I got drunk and went to Rhinestone as a goof, and boy were we not disappointed.

Highlight was Sylvester Stallone trying to sing country music. His big number was how he turned into a monster when he was drunk, and it was called "Drinkenstein." We howled.

Ronaldo and Clara

Tokyo Trauma

Basic Instinct 2 , Elektra.

The Two Jakes. I watched it on TV with a friend. We were both utterly bewildered and abandoned it halfway through.

Movies are like pizza. Even the really bad ones are still pretty good.

That said, my vote is for Lipstick, with the Hemingway sisters. Exploitative, misogynistic garbage.

[quote]—Mrs. Albert Steele

Is that any relation to me, Mrs. Alfred Steele?

I haven't seen any of them, but people have told me about, well, I think it's now over 50, of the worst movies they've ever experienced and there is only one thing they have in common.

I mean, what are the odds?

Nell

[Quote] The Thin Red Line.

Arguably the best WWII movie ever made.

I felt like I was watching torture porn.

I like arty farty movies but I had zero idea what The Thin Red Line was about.

It was a complete jumble to me.

Reply 8 wins-Mame with Lucy-I still can’t believe that happened!

Just sayin,the pic of Mrs.Steele reminded me-“The Best of Everything” is great fun-you gotta see it at least once.

Snowpiercer

[quote]Movies are like pizza. Even the really bad ones are still pretty good.

Well, that's an odd opinion. But maybe you're lucky in that you've never seen a REALLY bad movie.

Staying Alive. The only good thing about it was the song.

Drive

That absurd space movie with Bullock

Xanadu was probably the biggest mess ever made.

Lost Horizons - the musical.

Shockingly terrible.

R157 Lost Horizon. Only one horizon.

Grease 2. Looks and sounds like it was being written while the cameras were rolling. Poorly cast, and even though she does her best, Michelle Pfeiffer looks and sounds totally ‘80s.

One Horizon, r157...

[quote]That absurd space movie with Bullock

WHAT???? That was a great movie in every way -- writing, acting, direction, cinematography, special effects.

The Paper

Bad Timing

Honeysuckle Rose

Mother Jugs and Speed

Hotel New Hampshire

My first “omg this is such a piece of shit” movie was American Anthem. ‘84 or ‘85. Sat through it because Mitch Gaylord’s buff bod had looked so hot in the trailer.

too many to mention

Another vote for Nell.

And I'll add The Crucible with Daniel Day-Lewis.

Barbie Oppenheimer

Anything with Madonna

GHOSTS OF WAR with DL fave Brenton Thwaites. I couldn’t even finish watching this. GODS OF EGYPT was little better.

Never Been Kissed. Don’t care how beloved it is. Drew could not act at that time and David Arquette is just a smarmy little creep.

Original Sin (2001). "I just killed somebody!" "And I just bought a hat!"

Pearl Harbor too. It made me root for the Japs.

R53, I hate that movie. The ending is so manipulative and contrived. Dogville is much better.

Tree of Life. Saw it at a screening and the audience was deathly silent throughout. Abd then the credits played abd a wave if laughter came on us all until everyone was laughing. It was just so horrible and I think all of us were glad it wasn't just us.

R172, I love Badlands, Days of Heaven and The New World but reading your comment makes me apprehensive about Tree of Life (still haven't seen it).

Captain Corelli’s fucking Mandolin

Personal Best. All the heavy breathing drama queen lesbians.

Uncle Joe Shannon

Bless The Beasts And Children

Two Mules For Sister Sara

Vision Quest

Tommy Boy/Black Sheep/Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - any movie that features a lovable (usually fat) dimwit abusing the protagonist.

I totally enjoyed First Wives Club.

Freddy Got Fingered Dunston Checks In Anything with Madonna

American Graffiti 2

[quote] Dunston Checks In

Faye should have played Dunston.

that debate last night.

Super fucking Girl

the Legend of Billie Jean or something like that. The one that had the really good Pat Bendatar song.

R177, what an interesting position.

I can answer today - with certainty and with thanks to TCM - that my answer is “Dracula, AD 1972”.

"Time Bandits."

R186, it's so crazy you mention that movie. When I was a 9 years old in the mid 90s, my dad rented that movie from Blockbuster because the guy working there told him it was a good scary movie. No, it was not.

From the late 70s: Skatetown USA and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Kristy McfuckingNichol in the night the lights went out in georgia...eeekss.

oh oh oh michael J Fox and Joan Jett in light of day. a midget and a lez fALL IN LOVE

THE WIZ.

I may get flamed for saying this, but Troop Beverly Hills.

Poor Things. I know some people loved it and Emma won the Oscar but I lost patience with it pretty quickly. Frankenstein and My Fair Lady is a bad match.

Moment by Moment. There's a rumor going 'round that it's awfulness was intentional, and that Lily and Jane were in on it. They were intent on bringing John Travolta down. He was such a big star at the time.

R95 ugh Moment by Moment is truly unwatchable. I can usually make it through films of that era because I enjoy the period cars, clothing and designs. But this mess was so painful to watch. It needs a warning label.

Mother

Hudson Hawk

Of a slightly more recent vintage, I thought "We Need to Talk About Kevin" was unredeemably bad.

Hudson Hawk appeared about the time we had a slew of rich Republicans doing as they pleased without consequence.

It fit.

Richard Attenborough’s A CHORUS LINE: THE MOVIE. Totally misses the point of the source material. They swap out the best production number that reveals the personalities and histories of each dancer for that crappy “Surprise” song. And, worst of all, Cassie is ugly, obnoxious, unlikeable, and she destroys the most famous song from the show, making it about her relationship with Zach, instead of allowing it to be the heart of everyone’s journey.

The ‘80s street choreography, that replaces Michael Bennett’s signature original choreography for the show, is absolute dated crap.

Oh, and Audrey Landers, obviously absent from the challenging choreography (like the opening number), and swapped out with a real dancer at the end.

It’s really bad, because of what it COULD have been with the right director and cast.

Stigmata

[quote]And, worst of all, Cassie is ugly, obnoxious, unlikeable, and she destroys the most famous song from the show, making it about her relationship with Zach, instead of allowing it to be the heart of everyone’s journey.

Plus, they rewrote most of that song, to awful effect. Agreed that A CHORUS LINE is a really bad movie and certainly one of the worst screen adaptations of a Broadway musical.

I Spit on Your Grave

Nobody here would’ve seen it but it was nominated for best foreign film from Iran years ago, The White Balloon. Horrible. Charmless little girl nags her parents for money, loses it down a grate and spends the rest of the movie nagging passers-by to help her get it out.

I hate to say this because I love bad horror movies from the 70s (would love any recommendations), but I couldn't finish The Sentinel (1977).

Give it another try, R206. If nothing else, it gave us Beverly D'Angelo's masturbation scene and the "The Dykes Downstairs" (see link).

Motherhood with Uma Thurman. Forgot about that pile of shit.

R174, I actually paid to see that shit in the theater. Yuck.

I’ve had some boomerang on me: The Royal Tenenbaums was a shit WTF movie when I first viewed it, but it has stayed with me. Creepy as fuck.

Smokey and The Bandit. Fuck CB radios.

R145 Yes. The only entertainment in that movie was watching Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson making googly eyes at each other.

THE WIZ.

Crash

"The Wiz" is a very very bad movie.

I saw it opening weekend when I was fifteen, and after seeing it I remember feeling really unwell and anxious!

DOROTHY!

THE WIZ was so bad that it was several years before Hollywood made a movie that had a majority black cast. I’m sure A SOLDIERS STORY was the first movie made after that drought.

Fuck Diane.

I'm sure the movie of A Chorus Line is bad, but a long time ago, not having seen the show, I rented the VHS and I remember I enjoyed it. I had nothing to compare it to but it didn't seem like a badly-made or difficult to enjoy movie, if you see what I mean. I could tell it seemed too "adapted" to film, or something. It didn't have a lot of pizazz.

I thought Time Bandits was great, when it came out I saw it three times. It got some great reviews. I wouldn't call it a "really bad movie" by a long shot. Are there things in it that are politically incorrect or offend people now that nobody worried about then?

Saw Vision Quest when it came out, liked it a lot. Sincere, well acted. Again here's a film where a white guy plays a Native American - is that the issue? Or because Madonna is in it as a bar singer? I was in my 20s when I saw it.

Nobody's mentioned The Bluebird (the one with Liz Taylor, directed by George Cukor). I don't know who has actually seen it.

Jinxed

Give My Regards to Broadstreet.

Oh my god fucking Mac and Me. You just want to tip the kids wheelchair over.

Sound of Freedom.

Anything starring Kevin Sorbo.

R218, I haven't seen VISON QUEST in years. What white guy plays a native American in that?

Roman Polanski's The Fearless Vampire Killers

R224 - oh, come on, that's a fantastic film!

Forrest Gump

R221

Pearl Harbor. It was soooo hyped upon its release. But history has not been kind to it, for good reason. It makes Titanic look like a movie by Antonioni/Bergman/Welles, by comparison. Such bad acting, all around.

American Anthem with Miss Mitch Gaylord.

The Oscar (1966) is really bad, as well as campy. Surprised it is not mentioned more on DL

Ant man and the wasp. And Doctor Strange . How freaking boring. First and second times ever having walked out a theater.

Hammerhead

[quote]The Oscar (1966) is really bad, as well as campy. Surprised it is not mentioned more on DL

I'm assuming it's not mentioned more because it's so bad that it's basically a forgotten movie by all except hard-core connoisseurs of camp. Having said that, I just checked and I can't believe this movie is actually available on Blu-Ray!

The Lonely fucking Lady

A bad Woody Allen musical is better than the best of 99% other directors.

R197 A second one for "Mother."

What the fuck was that? It definitely killed Jennifer Lawrence's career.

R235 never say Everyone Says I Love You

^ Oops, saw not "say"

R101 was a bitter old bitchy queen in the 70s

You’d walk out of your own birthday party as big of a sad excuse as you seem to be.

R235 what about Woody Allen's Wonder Wheel, A Rainy Day in New York, Shadows and Fog, September, Celebrity?

r241 is either Mia Farrow, or someone who has seen these films!

Timberlake sucked in Wonder Wheel

Has anyone seen GALAXY OF TERROR, which positioned DL fave Erin Moran as the new Sigourney?

Apparently so bad that it effectively killed the career of her costar, Edward Albert.

Oh poor Erin. I wish that had made her a bigger star.

If you think Timberlake sucked in the actual film, you should have heard the noises coming from his trailer. Plus, he had bodyguards surrounding him during breaks on location, and refused to associate with his co-stars off-camera. A major prick.

I've never seen GALAXY OF TERROR, but damn, it does indeed look beyond terrible judging from that trailer.

^ Did you work on the film? Details, please!

R248-Let's just say, lots of snorting and swallowing going on there.

Zodiac (2007). Just an incredibly boring movie and a waste of an interesting subject. Gyllenhaal plays an annoyingly spunky reporter even though he's ten years too old to be acting like that. Mark Ruffalo is so bland and flat that you'd think he just chugged a whole bottle of Xanax. RDJ is doing his coked-up fast taking routine that he thinks is charming. Despite being obsessed with aesthetics, Fincher does NOT capture the griminess of the 1970s. Everything is sterile and fake. The movie is so long (2 hrs 40) that I completely lost interest in the mystery by the end.

I love Zodiac! That scene where Jake is in that guy's basement and they hear that noise upstairs is so creepy.

"Barbie".

Sucks goat dick.

My arguments lie not with the poor ideas poorly executed.

My arguments lie with the fascinating ideas twisted out of shape and corrupted.

To wit:

Oppenheimer

Barbie

Zodiac

Crash

High Rise

Gosford Park

Suspiria (both versions)

Last Year at Marienbad

Barry Lyndon

Less Than Zero

The Shining

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Happiness

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Mad Max and all sequels

The Conformist

The Dirty Dozen

Chinatown

Halloween

Top Gun

All the Right Moves

48 Hours

Francis Ford Coppala's Dracula

Fellini's Satyricon

The Damned

Death in Venice

The Last House on the Left

Manon of the Spring

The Funhouse

Angel Heart

Return to Oz

Manchester-by-the-Sea

Prick up Your Ears

The French Connection

Day of the Dead

Silkwood

r253 you're just difficult. How about Birdy with Nic Cage? Has anyone seen this? I remember feeling tortured by it.

Funny. I remember loving it.

Johnny Dangerously

Trainspotting because I couldn’t understand a damn thing they said.

Shakespeare in Love

Mannequin, starring BRAT PACKER Andrew McCarthey and Samantha Jones.

North

R253 thankfully that is just your opinion. So many G R E A T pictures on your list.

R261, all of this is just opinions.

That's how this works.

The Bonfire of the Vanities was such a disaster.

It cries out for an HBO miniseries remake that recreates 1980s New York.

There was a book about the making of The Bonfire of the Vanities. One of the best books I ever read. You'd think I'd be able to remember the name of it.

Ernest Goes to Jail (walked out)

There's Something About Mary (walked out after 15 minutes)

Meet Joe Black

Prometheus was so bad, it edged out my previous "Worst Movie I Ever Paid To See In The Theater", Armageddon.

R254, "Birdy" is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Oh, and Joe and the Volcano

R233 Well...I guess I'm old but it was shown on TV regularly in the 70's, so I do remember it! And you know people here talk a lot about Joan Crawford movies (for ex.) and she died in the 1970s. They seem familiar with films that area lot older than The Oscar.

*that are a lot older

The Devil’s Candy was the book about Bonfire, and it was excellent.

Great title.

I fell asleep in the theater when I saw The Legend of Bagger Vance

The only time I have ever walked out on a movie they were showing the entire 1943 Batman serial

I walked out of Traffic.

Not funny!

Especially if you happen to be one

Dumb!

Awful!

Shitty!

Top Gun 1986 it's all about the song

Cocktail

Boston Globe Jay Carr

There isn't a scene in Cocktail that isn't cheap and dumb, and whether its camp entertainment value compensates for its contempt for women is a question. Cocktail makes beer commercials look deep, makes "Top Gun" look like "Hamlet." Jul 1988,

That opening of Prometheus, with the beautiful cinematography of Iceland and the gorgeous stirring score... and then from that point the movie just progressively falls apart due to one of the stupidest scripts ever

Wholly Shit!

R281, "The Martian" is not "shitty".

Well, The Martian is about a man who grows potatoes in his own feces R286 It's also long, talky and uneventful.

Uneventful?!? WTF is wrong with you?

Mayday, with Michael Pare. Granted he makes about 5 awful movies every year but I just happened to watch this one. Odd, but there was no one under the age of 40 on that plane.

Kramer vs. Kramer A dreary multiple Oscar winner. Much ado about nothing.

This looks, in retrospect, like nothing much more than a glossy soap passed off as serious drama. EMPIRE

[quote] The Martian is about a man who grows potatoes in his own feces [R286] It's also long, talky and uneventful.

Haven't seen the film but in terms of recycling nitrates and water in an otherwise hostile environment, night-soil ( the polite term ) would be absolutely necessary

[Quote] I walked out of Traffic.

I walked into Traffic; that was the problem

THE MARTIAN is not "talky," R291. Do you even know what that means?

It really was hateful

Dull and rudderless

I like Kramer vs. Kramer. The backlash against it is bizarre.

I think the backlash against it is because some people can't deal with the fact that a woman (or man, but especially a woman) might temporarily abandon her child due to mental health issues.

KVK Much ado about nothing. All children have injuries. Here a cut is treated like a life and death situation. So much unnecessary drama. Why doesn't Dustin hail a cab to take his son to the emergency room. NY is full of them.

Was Kramer vs Kramer that bad? I saw it once in the theater when it was first released. Not my cup of tea but the female friend I accompanied seemed to like it.

I'd like a sequel on that Kramer kid. What happened to him? So many disturbing possibilities

R297 They could deal with it when the movie was released, though.

The child's injury in KRAMER VS. KRAMER is quite serious, requiring several stitches. And if you've ever tried to take a cab in midtown Manhattan during the day in an emergency situation, you would know it's often far faster to just run or walk to the hospital.

R298, your stupidity knows no bounds.

R298 Dustin Hoffman played a man still learning how to be both mother and father to his son. When the son had the accident, Hoffman's character panicked because he didn't know what to do or how serious the injury was.

The character's reaction in that situation is authentic, based on the dad's circumstances.

I bet he grew up with an irrational fear of abandonment and French toast

[quote] Dustin Hoffman played a man still learning how to be both mother and father to his son.

Being a parent to his son, you mean.

R305 No, because in this case, the character was trying to figure out how to do all the things his son's mother did.

So he was trying to figure out how to be the mother his son was missing, in addition to being a father.

R306, I guess you don't understand what R305 meant -- that the responsibilities of being a mother or a father are no longer considered separate in the way they used to be.

R307, guess what?

When they made Kramer vs Kramer, "mother" and "father" were still considered separate parenting functions.

Kramer vs Kramer was stupid to me because I had no sympathy for Dustin’s character. Too lazy and selfish to learn how to take care of an injured child when the kid is old enough to be walking and talking? What an ignorant asshole.

I Am Curious (Yellow)

R308 Born in 1965 my mother worked in the home and my father took care of us as well even though he worked full time. Hoffman seems to have been this kid's father for about 5 minutes.

R309 Dustin's character is particularly repulsive in this scene.

I thought the movie resonated with many people because it showed, maybe for the first time, the “realities” of divorce.

It was still the late 70’s and divorce was becoming common. It attempted to show the damage caused to everybody.

I’ve seen it once and since I was much younger, I’m sure the nuances escaped me.

R307 You said it right there.

"The way it used to be."

It was 1979.

Bringing a woman he’s fucking to his home where his child sleeps was particularly trashy selfish behavior.

[Quote] Why doesn't Dustin hail a cab to take his son to the emergency room. NY is full of them.

Besides not knowing about taxis his character was apparently unaware of nannies who were all over the UES and UWS in NY in the 70s and 80s just like the numerous restaurants where he could have taken his son. Thoroughly unconvincing film which becomes a courtroom drama. Besides not deserving the Best Picture and Director Oscars, how did Jane Alexander get a nod for her dreary, bore you blind divorcee?

"Kramer vs Kramer" is geared toward upper middle-class white people, especially Jewish people. I remember enjoying it as a teenager, but I can't imagine sitting through it now.

[quote]You said it right there. "The way it used to be."

Yes, but the argument here is that some people are using the old definitions of "mother" and "father," and others are using the new. That's all I meant. The poster who wrote "Dustin Hoffman played a man still learning how to be both mother and father to his son" was still using the old definitions, even though he's apparently writing from 2024 and not 1979. He could have written "learning how to be a single parent," but he didn't. Get it?

Why in the fuck did this become the "Kramer vs Kramer" thread? Ugh. GET ON WITH IT.

How about citing movies that are -actually- bad?

R312 You must have been born in the new Millenium. That scene is played pretty broadly but, at any rate, that's what parenting was like in the 70's. Parents, not their kids, were the authority, and there was no room for spoiled brats to do whatever they pleased.

That recent Elvis movie. I don't understand what all the buzz was about. I saw it in the theater. I walked out about midway through the movie. After about half of a full theater walked out. This is right up there with Iron fucking Weed.

A Kramer vs. Kramer vs. Predator film would be awesome.

THE STEPFORD WIVES remake with Nicole Kidman, Glenn Close and Bette Midler. All three should have known better.

The Bewitched movie.

“Wasp Woman,” of which I was reminded last night when I was scrolling channels and realized that TCM was airing it.

That HORRIBLE remake of The Stepford Wives, with Bette Midler and Nicole Kidman. Sewage. Raw sewage.

R38 is clearly still not getting it.

R326 Glad you didn't mention me.

R317 It was a hit across the board. My parents loved it, they were white but not upper middle class or Jewish. The writer-director Robert Benton wasn't Jewish, was he?

Oscar winner "Everything Everywhere All at Once" was torturous.

I absolutely loved Everything Everywhere All At Once. It was joyous. I've seen it several times now. Just brilliant and totally fun.

R331 Worst. Movie. Ever.

Howard the fucking Duck.

Illegally Yours (1988), starring Rob Lowe and Colleen Camp. Directed by Peter Bogdanovich.

HORRIBLE. Amateurish and cheap. Ugly St. Augustine, Florida, locations. What’s supposed to be madcap, screwball, and hilarious just looks like it was written each morning before they began shooting. Dorothy Stratten’s younger sister (then wife of Bogdanovich) is incapable of acting in her supporting role.

What’s Up, Doc? it’s not.

Failure to Launch

Quantum of Solace, worst Bond movie ever.

A lot of Roger Corman movies. The Terror, with Karloff and Jack Nicholson. The Wild Angels with Peter Fonda, Nancy Sinatra, Bruce Dern, Diane Ladd.

The first film I ever walked out of was The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. It was so cringe that my skull almost imploded from extreme secondhand embarrassment for the poor actors on screen. Eventually my friends and I couldn’t take anymore and we bolted for the exit.

The next film I practically ran out of was Naked Lunch. I’m very sensitive to surprise depictions of sexual violence, especially when the perpetrator of the sex/violence is a giant fucking cockroach and the victim is a beautiful young twink.

Along similar lines, a film I wish I had walked out on was Robert Altman’s Short Cuts, an ensemble piece billed as a comedy-drama, but I was not amused at all the suicide and random murders of young women. Maybe if I’d known going in what to expect it would have been fine, but that viewing experience just infuriated me.

Also, a film I would not recommend on a first date: One Hour Photo with Robin Williams. Seriously killed the mood.

I walked out of Lara Croft, Tomb Raider.

R338 maybe you're just not that into Peter Weller

If you think you're not into Weller from his films, try not to have the unbearable experience of having a conversation with him.

"The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai" is an absolutely brilliant movie, and is amazing and I've seen it at least two dozen ties, and it never fails to entertain. I could literally not be friends with anyone who hated it enough to walk out.

"Naked Lunch" was also brilliant, and probably the best way imaginable to film that completely unfilmable book.

I'd watch Naked Lunch again but not fucking Buckaroo Banzai. It stinks and is boring.

R232, is that a reference to Tori Spelling?

I couldn’t get out of my seat for laughter when M Night Shamamalan’s Lady In The Water finished. My friend and I were howling. It was the stupidest piece of shit I’ve ever seen.

R342 - Same, I love that film so much

[Quote] When they made Kramer vs Kramer, "mother" and "father" were still considered separate parenting functions.

How so R308?

Buckaroo Banzai is anything but boring. It's freakin' hilarious. And so damn quotable too.

I was going to say "Elevator Girls in Bondage" (featuring an all-transvestite cast, but then I remember this travesty called "Lie Down With Dogs," about a guy who visits Provincetown.

Sorority Girl

R342 I was a teenager at the time, so it’s very possible I was too dumb to appreciate Buckaroo Bonzai. Maybe I’ll try again now that my brain has developed.

But Naked Lunch: fuck that movie.

Oh god, I actually saw "Lie Down With Dogs" ... I had completely pushed that out of my memory until I read your post, R350. Ugh.

I saw Heaven's Gate in its original release cut, or whatever that was. I love when people blame the viewer for not enjoying something. I just remember it being a formless mess. It began with Oxford substituting for Harvard (how does Oxford look anything like Harvard?) and then went into this paceless western miasma of overindulgent crap.

I could never be friends with anyone who liked Buckaroo Banzai. In fact, I couldn't even consider a glory hole blowjob with them.

I'd watch Sorority Girl in a heartbeat.

"Thundercrack"

Killer bunnies..I’m here for it!

Empire of the Ants starring Joan C.

The Day the Earth Stood Still.

The Mirror has Two Faces is unwatchable.

R360 Which one?

the original suck as one

I tried to watch "Jinxed" for the spectacle of prime Ken Wahl. Couldn't manage it.

The Concorde... Airport '79

R1 mentioned "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover." I have to say it's a disturbing movie. The first time I watched it was in the middle of the night, and I felt a little sick and could sleep afterwards. But somehow it has become one of my favorite movies. It think it's like a whacky-looking abstract painting that has different effects on people. The story and scenery are all stunningly depressing. Plus, as I understand it, it's actually a big metaphor, though I don't see it.

However, I think it's understandable why people dislike this movie.

I'll shut up now.

Rollercoaster the Movie. What a fantastic piece of crap that is. Although, I think a proper remake would be fun.

I watched a very low budget movie called A Girl, Three Guys, and a Gun (2000) because it's often listed as June Allyson's final film, and she's listed on IMDB and in the Wikipedia article as plying the part of "Joey's Grandma." This seemed like something worth checking out, so I watched most of the film thinking, "What the hell did they do to June Allyson?" because the grandma was this rather beat up hag, but she had a somewhat raspy voice and I figured that must be June, even though she seemed too tall.

Then, about three quarters into the thing, the real June comes by in a truck driven by her real-life husband, David Ashrow, looking great. After a lot of research I found out the other actress's name. I don't know why this error persists. But anyway--not a good movie. One of those festival movies.

(June's part was a cameo consisting or two or three lines.)

*...of

The Wild Wild West with Slappy Smith.

Monster A-Go-Go, The Creeping Terror, RollerGator, Birdemic.

Jennifer Jones’s nadir.

Miriam Hopkins’ entry in the hagsploitation genre “Hollywood Horror House”. She plays a Norma Desmond type who gets seduced by her young aide. There’s a scene where he takes her to a swinging party on the Sunset strip and there’s a dwarf selling drugs. I love the late 60s movies about old Hollywood clashing with young Hollywood. A leathery looking Gale Sondergaard has a supporting role as her devoted assistant.

Lynn Redgrave in Midnight [1988]. Lynn plays a TV horror hostess called Midnight based on Elvira except not sexy. Her character is weird on camera, and unfortunately just as weird behind. Redgrave plays Midnight with a bizarre and fevered energy. There's a bunch of unimportant shit that happens in the movie, but it doesn't know if it's a comedy, satire, or drama. A complete misfire and wasted opportunity.

Midnight made no sense whatsoever, starting with Lynn R as a sexy horror hostess (!). I think most of the budget went to cocaine.

Another cocaine movie is "Voyage of the Rock Aliens" starring DL fave Pia Zadora. Even by camp standards it makes no sense. And her musical co-star is Alison LaPlaca, because when you think song-and-dance gal you naturally think of horsey Alison.

Trog

Southland Tales

Zabriskie Point. Antonioni's pointless art film about two hippies in the desert, played by people who'd never acted. A house blows up in slow motion.

Zardoz

R376, Midnight is that bad. The actual Elvira movie reaches for the stars in comparison.

It's a shame because Lynn Redgrave is always very good and generally very interesting on screen.

Citizen Kane

The Iron Lady

GASP

I can't say it's the worst I've seen, but THE CAT'S MEOW comes to mind. I don't mind bad, but I can't stand BORING.

R56, To digress: HTH did Amy Madigan get Ed Harris?!

Music of the fucking Heart OMG.

White Line Fever

The Lost Horizon musical is pretty awful but I just watched “The Great Waltz” (1972) on TCM and that is just as bad. Felt like a movie from the 40s, not the 70s.

It's not that bad but I like Judith Christ's comment on Airport (1970): "The best film of 1944."

De-Lovely hard to believe it was made this century.

Absolutely r392. Kline was too old and Judd was too young. Don’t know what they were thinking. And the musical numbers were so surprisingly drab and lifeless.

from the NY Times review

Near the end of 'De-Lovely,' the lethally inert new cinematic portrait of Cole Porter, the composer (Kevin Kline) and his wife, Linda (Ashley Judd), attend a private screening in Los Angeles of 'Night and Day,' Porter's notoriously inaccurate, sugar-coated but commercially successful 1946 screen biography. After the blissful final clinch of Cary Grant and Alexis Smith in a movie that exalts the Porters' regulation Hollywood-perfect union, 'De-Lovely' shows the composer turning to his wife and remarking, 'If I can survive this, I can survive anything.'

But I wonder if Porter, who died in 1964, could have survived 'De-Lovely,' a movie so lifeless and drained of genuine joie de vivre it makes you long for the largely fictional earlier film. 'Night and Day,' after all, starred Cary Grant. When you think about it, what man in his right mind wouldn't be flattered by having Grant as his screen alter-ego? I seriously question whether watching the suave, handsome actor in his prime was an embarrassment that the physically unglamorous Porter felt he had to survive.

1980s WINDOWS a real curio. Starring Talia Shire and Elizabeth Ashley

Windows is a movie of firsts and lasts: Windows is the first and last film to be directed by famed cinematographer Gordon Willis (The Godfather, Annie Hall); It’s the first & last screenplay to be written by one Barry Siegel (not to be confused with the Pulitzer Prize-winning LA Times journalist). It's the last major motion picture to feature up-and-coming The Godfather/Rocky alumna Talia Shire in a lead role; Windows being the three-strikes-you’re-out, last-straw flop that followed on the heels of the underperforming features Old Boyfriends (1979) and Prophecy (1979). Finally, Windows has the dubious distinction of being the first film to be released in 1980 (January 18th)-Dreams Are What Cinema is For . . .Ken Anderson

Dustoff Varnya's The Flower That Drank The Moon

"Alexander" (2004) by Oliver Stone. I still have nightmares of that Russian hooker accent Angelina Jolie adopted in that movie. It wasn't sexy, it wasn't exotic, just laughably bad. Colin Farrell didn't fare much better and I didn't buy him as Alexander the Great for a second. It was truly awful in every single way.

I mean, I'd rather watch something like "Howard the Duck", which is awful, but entertainingly awful, unlike "Alexander", which aspires to be prestige moviemaking but fails so miserably.

Anything by Herschel Gordon-Lewis.

Everything Everywhere All At Once… I’ve tried to watch it a few times. I can finish it.

…can’t…

Everything Everywhere All At Once is one of my favorite movies... it's brilliant. Everyone I know feels the same way. I can't even imagine how anyone could say it's "really bad".

R401 EEAAO is so repetitive ad easily 45 minutes too long

I'm tempted to suggest Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles, but I don't dare, because apparently it's the greatest film of all time.

Inundated by it's awfulness.

The Towering Inferno

R405 The Towering Inferno at 2h45m is a dreadful and dull disaster film with a limited setting and repeated shots of dummies falling from the building. It's easily an hour too long, the direction is flat, and you couldn't care less about the fate of the cardboard characters. This awful film was a Best Picture nominee and Astaire was nominated for Best Supporting Actor, and the film won for Best Cinematography, and the dreary "We May Never Love Like This Again" won for Best Original Song! WTF!

Rather sit through 100 Towering Infernos than 1 English Patient.

YEOUCH!

The scenes in the stairwell are particularly bland R408 The whole thing feels like a made4TV film despite the presence of Newman, McQueen, Holden and Dunaway who have nothing of interest to do.

And Dunaway overacted horribly. She did it in VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED as well. Without a strong director, she is hammy af.

R410 I don't know if she actually overacted in The Towering Inferno. She didn't really have much to do except guide people to the elevator. Dunaway provided the glamour. Pauline Kael famously wrote:

"Best, surprisingly, is Faye Dunaway as Newman's girl. it's not that she acts much but she looks so goddessy beautiful, wandering through the chaos in see-through puce chiffon . . . When Dunaway has nothing to do it's all to the good, she doesn't pull her face together into that tight, Waspy acting mask that she usually puts on. Without it, her porcelain world-weary face becomes wounded by the fear of falling apart-and she's more beautiful than ever. Perfection going slightly to seed is maybe the most alluring face a screen goddess can have"

mother!

I remember reading a review stating something about Faye falling out of her dress for the whole picture.

BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. Ridiculous sequel to the beloved classic 1972 movie.

Several movies based on Broadway shows:

Night Mother. Even Anne Bancroft and Sissy Spacek couldn’t make this Broadway play inspired film interesting.

A Chorus Line. I had to watch Mame to cleanse my palate.

Albert Nobbs, starring some hack actress trying to get cheap attention as a trans man. So pitiful.

Night Mother is Sissy's Iron fucking Weed.

Does anyone remember The Black Slipper?

Everything Everywhere All At Once is not a bad movie, just a strangely edited one. The middle third is overdrawn and could've used some trimming.