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Sending gifts, getting zero acknowledgement of delivery

Okay, I know we just had a "nobody sends thank you cards anymore" thread, but this is different.

I sent, for example, a birthday card to my nephew with a $50 gift card inside: no acknowledgement (text, call, email, smoke signal) that it was received. Never mind an actual thank you note (which I wasn't expecting). No idea if he received it.

Same with an old friend who recently finished grad school: sent him a "congrats" card with a $25 gift card. No idea if he received it.

Tipped my stylist $50 at Christmas. Never thanked me or mentioned it during my next appointment. (Okay, that's not the same as now knowing he got it, as I handed it to him in an envelope; but it still irritated me.)

I could go on. This is happening all the time I feel, in many different contexts.

What is so incredibly difficult about sending a TEXT that says, "Got your card today. Thanks!" That takes MAYBE 30 seconds!

by Anonymousreply 58June 14, 2024 1:34 AM

OP,

It’s clearly obvious none of those people actually like you. Stop trying to buy their affection.

by Anonymousreply 1June 10, 2024 1:49 AM

Easy solution, IMO: stop giving gifts to ppl who don't acknowledge.

by Anonymousreply 2June 10, 2024 2:46 AM

OP I asked ChatGPT what you should do but to write it in the voice of a sassy black woman

Alright, listen up, honey! We need to have a little chit-chat about these folks who are acting like they can’t lift a finger to say “thank you.” You’re out here showering people with love and gifts, and they’re treating you like a doormat. Uh-uh, not on my watch!

1. **Speak Up, Baby:** These people might be clueless about how much a little appreciation means. Next time, you hit them with, “Hey, did you get that card I sent? A simple ‘thank you’ would be nice, boo!”

2. **Set Some Boundaries, Sweetie:** If this keeps bugging you, it’s time to set some boundaries. Keep shining and being generous, but make sure your kindness goes to those who know how to show some gratitude.

3. **Check Your Motives, Girl:** Why are you giving these gifts? If it’s to spread some joy, focus on that joy. But if their silence leaves you feeling some type of way, maybe it’s time to rethink who’s getting your love.

4. **Adjust Your Crown, Queen:** Not everyone was raised with your impeccable manners. Lower those expectations just a tad, so you’re not left feeling salty all the time.

5. **Express Yourself, Diva:** If you’re feeling some kind of way, let them know. A direct chat might just do the trick. Tell them that a little acknowledgment goes a long way.

Remember, you’re fabulous, and your kindness is a gift. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re anything less. You’re a queen, and you deserve all the respect in the world!

by Anonymousreply 3June 10, 2024 2:54 AM

I sent my niece a 700.00 down comforter as a wedding gift, no thank you or reply...I'm left bewildered, she didn't receive it? UPS lost the package? I can't fathom receiving a nice gift and not even responding...never again.

by Anonymousreply 4June 10, 2024 3:11 AM

In 2021 I send a wedding gift (albeit not as expensive) and also never heard anything, r4.

by Anonymousreply 5June 11, 2024 12:29 AM

People are so rude nowadays. It makes you want to tell them where to put their attitude.

by Anonymousreply 6June 11, 2024 12:39 AM

I fucking hate people.

Except r3. I love you r3.

by Anonymousreply 7June 11, 2024 12:43 AM

OP, give them all a good SPANKING!

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by Anonymousreply 8June 11, 2024 2:21 AM
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by Anonymousreply 9June 11, 2024 2:26 AM

It's funny that so many people don't understand the value of a thank you note. I'm glad. It makes my notes stand out so much more. You wouldn't believe the number of people who remember those notes years later.

That said, for my thankless friends and relatives, I just call or text them and ask if they liked the present. Odd how none of them ever mention that it hadn't arrived.

by Anonymousreply 10June 11, 2024 2:26 AM

r10 I still have the occasional student (university) will write me thank you notes for things like letters of recommendation.

I always remember those students.

by Anonymousreply 11June 11, 2024 2:43 AM

R9 I like when you post that. It makes me happy.

by Anonymousreply 12June 11, 2024 3:20 AM

Giving is the pleasure, leave it at that.

by Anonymousreply 13June 11, 2024 3:27 AM

OP, become filthy rich and drop dead leaving them NOTHING FOR REASONS KNOWN TO THEM.

by Anonymousreply 14June 11, 2024 4:24 AM

No op, you actually right. It's annoying when people take you granted. Only give to those who reciprocate in return.

by Anonymousreply 15June 12, 2024 1:09 PM

If you're sending gifts for thank yours and accolades, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm also not sure why you need an acknowledgement, either it got there or it didn't. Some of you create drama where there doesn't need to be drama.

by Anonymousreply 16June 12, 2024 1:16 PM

This happens a lot nowadays and mostly younger people. People have to be socialized how to be courteous. It's not something that just happens naturally. And it's not something parents are doing with their kids anymore. My nephew is the same. I will send him stuff and never even hear if he received it. And r16, there is a difference between wanting a simple acknowledgement of receipt and a little appreciation vs. doing something solely for praise. I enjoy being generous, and I don't do it for the praise. It makes me happy. But being generous with someone who gives you radio silence is like throwing your good intentions down a well. Unless it's close family that I will give to anyway, I have just stopped giving gifts to AND doing things for people are just unresponsive. Generosity is a form of human connection, and if there's no acknowledgement of a connection being made, what's the point?

And it's funny how powerful a thank you letter is nowadays - some acknowledgement beyond just a text message, a hand written note. People act as if they've just gotten a message from their grandma beyond the grave - absolute wonder.

by Anonymousreply 17June 12, 2024 1:22 PM

[quote]being generous with someone who gives you radio silence is like throwing your good intentions down a well.

Then stop sending gifts. Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 18June 12, 2024 1:27 PM

“And tomorrow we’ll write our Thank You notes.”

by Anonymousreply 19June 12, 2024 1:29 PM

Thanks, r17. You clarified my thoughts very well.

It's like holding the door open for people. I don't do it for "praise and acknowledgement." I do it to be kind, because it seems like the right thing to do. But I find it rude when it's NOT acknowledged. It's almost as if the person walking through feels entitled to it and this has no need to offer thanks.

by Anonymousreply 20June 12, 2024 1:31 PM

These are the kinds of things that I let happen once.

by Anonymousreply 21June 12, 2024 1:40 PM

Maybe if Op knew the correct spelling of acknowledgment then he might have received one.

by Anonymousreply 22June 12, 2024 2:07 PM

zzzzz r22

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by Anonymousreply 23June 12, 2024 2:11 PM

There are ways to send cash gifts where you know the person got it.

Packages can be sent registered so you know they got it.

Whether they thank you or not is another story.

I give a lot of gifts but almost exclusively face to face.

by Anonymousreply 24June 12, 2024 2:16 PM
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by Anonymousreply 25June 12, 2024 2:16 PM

Op is American, and he misspelled the word in American English..pretty basic.

by Anonymousreply 26June 12, 2024 2:20 PM

I'm happy to let you die on that hill, r26.

by Anonymousreply 27June 12, 2024 2:35 PM

Alive and well, thanks.

by Anonymousreply 28June 12, 2024 2:40 PM

Sure, Jan.

by Anonymousreply 29June 12, 2024 2:51 PM

R18, I literally wrote this in my post:

[quote] I have just stopped giving gifts to AND doing things for people (who) are just unresponsive.

I am not sure why you chose to quote me IF you weren't going to read my entire post.

by Anonymousreply 30June 12, 2024 3:28 PM

Oh, for heaven sakes. It is very simple to know if they got your gift. If you want to know if they got money, send a check. If you want to know they got your package, use a tracking number.

by Anonymousreply 31June 12, 2024 3:34 PM

It is not their fault. The younger generations were not taught any manners. This is the kind of stuff you have to teach kids young. Make them say thank you when someone does something nice for you. It gets them in the habit and becomes automatic. I have also noticed that people who work with the public are much ruder than they used to be. So many of them are either living on their screens or so busy navel-gazing they barely notice anyone else.

by Anonymousreply 32June 12, 2024 3:48 PM

Do we have to do this whole thread over again? It has already been done.

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by Anonymousreply 33June 12, 2024 4:03 PM

It's not quite the same thing, r33/

by Anonymousreply 34June 12, 2024 5:11 PM

I've got this really hot fuck buddy who recently ended up homeless. Sometimes he asks me for cash to help out with food, motels, drugs, etc. At first, he didn't even say thanks or let me know he received the money. So, I started checking in with him, like, 'Hey, did you get it?' I use CashApp, so once I send it, I don't know if he's received it or not. Now he knows he's got to say, "yep, I got and thanks", if he wants help in the future. It's just about being clear and respectful in our friendship.

So just ask. No harm no foul.

by Anonymousreply 35June 12, 2024 6:07 PM

If you receive a gift that seems insufficient to you, I think it’s best not to send any acknowledgement rather than to inform the giver that their gift was a fail.

by Anonymousreply 36June 12, 2024 6:25 PM

R31 Not knowing whether the gift was received or not is not the main problem, it's just a side affect. The main problem is the no response to the gift, which would leave one wondering a number of questions, like "was it received?" "did they like it?" "did it fit or do I need to exchange it for something else (while I have the time to)" etc.. No response to someone's gift is absolutely rude as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 37June 12, 2024 6:52 PM

[quote] The main problem is the no response to the gift, which would leave one wondering a number of questions, like "was it received?"

As was mentioned by R31, "It is very simple to know if they got your gift. If you want to know if they got money, send a check. If you want to know they got your package, use a tracking number."

No other comments need to be made. Any other comment by you is just fishing for compliments.

by Anonymousreply 38June 12, 2024 6:58 PM

[quote]No response to someone's gift is absolutely rude as fuck.

Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 39June 12, 2024 7:24 PM

One of the problems with the "just stop sending them gifts" suggestion is that a lot of these gifts are one-offs. A graduation here, a wedding there. It's not like these things are annual occurrences, unless you're Zsa Zsa.

by Anonymousreply 40June 12, 2024 7:28 PM

R38, as I pointed out, there are other questions left open when someone doesn't respond to a gift. It's not JUST about did they receive it or not. That is just the first question to many other follow up questions. It's just fucking rude. No response, means you never want another gift from me again. I don't know what's so hard to comprehend about this. R31 and R38 are the exact type of people who you'd never hear from if you sent them something - clearly.

by Anonymousreply 41June 12, 2024 9:54 PM

When they DON’T receive an expected gift, you’ll definitely hear from them.

by Anonymousreply 42June 12, 2024 10:10 PM

Most people suck, OP. It is better to engage as little as possible and have zero expectations.

by Anonymousreply 43June 12, 2024 10:14 PM

Fuck these ungrateful cunts, you should send them a box of shit! Don't put your real name and return address of course!

by Anonymousreply 44June 12, 2024 10:20 PM

I gave a gift to a couple for their wedding, the daughter of family friends. No acknowledgement.

There were some sketchy people at the wedding, I wondered if someone put their card on my gift and tossed my card.

by Anonymousreply 45June 12, 2024 10:32 PM

Maybe this will lead to the end of gift-giving. That would be a welcome development for both givers and recipients.

by Anonymousreply 46June 12, 2024 10:36 PM

[quote] "did they like it?" "did it fit or do I need to exchange it for something else (while I have the time to)"

R41 R37 Stop clutching your pearls wondering if people like you. You sent the gift, now forget about it!

by Anonymousreply 47June 12, 2024 10:48 PM

Thanking one for a gift received is a basic tenet of the social contract.

by Anonymousreply 48June 12, 2024 11:56 PM

^ Silly old queen.

by Anonymousreply 49June 13, 2024 12:48 AM

Some of you grew up deprived---with no manners, no sense of a kindness being done for you with no strings attached. You lot are trashy, entitled and smug pricks.

by Anonymousreply 50June 13, 2024 1:23 AM

I haven't changed my mind, some of you thrive on drama. You invite it into your lives. If you want gift acknowledgement then make sure you hand someone a gift in person.

by Anonymousreply 51June 13, 2024 1:45 AM

[quote] If you want gift acknowledgement then make sure you hand someone a gift in person.

And sign the acknowledgement before they are allowed to receive the gift.

by Anonymousreply 52June 13, 2024 1:49 AM

[quote] haven't changed my mind, some of you thrive on drama. You invite it into your lives. If you want gift acknowledgement then make sure you hand someone a gift in person.

R51, this isn't about being balled up in the shower, crying under scolding hot water because you didn't receive an acknowledgement for gifts sent. It's not being dramatic. The OP is making an astute observation that things have changed and people are less courteous, less polite and wanted to know if others agree. I agree with him. In the past you didn't have to be physically present to present a present and get some acknowledgement for it. Now you do - because common courtesy (among the other "commons" like common sense) does not exist anymore. We are talking about VERY BASIC acts of civility that every child from the age of two on up used to be taught - if someone does something for you, you say thank you to that person. Period.

by Anonymousreply 53June 13, 2024 6:57 AM

R52 IS THE EARTH MOTHER AND YOU ALL ARE FLOPS!

by Anonymousreply 54June 13, 2024 7:03 AM

R54 with his Fat Rails Writing.

by Anonymousreply 55June 13, 2024 8:30 AM

If you guys gave me a bunch of money or gifts I would definitely send you a thank you note and give you a hand job!

by Anonymousreply 56June 13, 2024 8:35 AM

If you gave me a 100 million dollars, I will swallow your load gladly and thank you every single day.

by Anonymousreply 57June 13, 2024 4:09 PM

Thank you r53

by Anonymousreply 58June 14, 2024 1:34 AM
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