**Breaking News: New Study Reveals Gen Z in the Workplace is Helpless Due to Absurd Reason**
**Dateline: June 9, 2024**
In a stunning revelation that has left HR departments nationwide scratching their heads, a new study published by the Institute for Ridiculous Workplace Phenomena (IRWP) has concluded that Gen Z employees are utterly helpless in the workplace due to their inexplicable inability to open basic office doors.
The study, conducted over a six-month period in offices across the country, found that 82% of Gen Z workers frequently find themselves trapped in conference rooms, bathrooms, and even their own cubicles, all due to their baffling struggle with door handles. Researchers initially hypothesized that the issue might be related to unfamiliarity with traditional door mechanisms, but the reality proved far more perplexing.
âWe initially thought it was a lack of exposure to non-automated doors,â said Dr. Felicity Farce, lead researcher at IRWP. âBut it turns out, these young professionals are simply stymied by the concept of turning a knob or pushing a handle. It's as if they expect every door to function with a swipe or voice command.â
In interviews with bewildered Gen Z employees, many admitted that their door dilemma stems from a lifetime of using sliding doors, automatic doors, and digital keypads. "I just thought all doors would just open when I walked up to them," confessed one 24-year-old marketing associate. "Iâve spent more time trying to figure out doors than actually working."
Corporate trainers are now devising emergency workshops to tackle this bizarre issue, with courses titled âDoor Operation 101â and âKnobs, Handles, and Hinges: A Survival Guide.â Some companies are even considering a return to fully automated door systems to avoid further productivity losses.
The study also uncovered related issues, such as Gen Zâs apparent bewilderment with fax machines, staplers, and filing cabinets. One intern was reportedly found trying to âswipe rightâ on a Rolodex.
âIt's a real challenge,â admitted HR manager Steve Quirk. âWe've had to put signs on all doors with step-by-step instructions. And let me tell you, explaining a fax machine to someone born after 2000 is like teaching a fish to ride a bicycle.â
As workplaces scramble to adapt to these unexpected hurdles, the debate continues on how best to integrate a generation raised on screens into the physical realm of the office. Until then, companies are advised to stock up on automated doors and patience.
For now, it seems the struggle is real for Gen Z, proving once again that every generation has its quirks and challenges. The office landscape continues to evolve, and we can only hope that with the right training and a few more automatic doors, the future will be brighter â and more accessible â for everyone.
**This is News Networkâs Chuck Finnegan, reporting live. Back to you in the studio!**