10 drinks you should never order at a busy bar

If I bother to go out I'll order whatever it is I want and if it's on the menu why should I care. If they don't want or care to make it then don't have it on the menu.

What a stupid f****** article.

R1 Has stated his boundaries. Truth to power !

Rule of thumb: if you're ordering directly from the bartender, stick to the basics. If you're ordering from a cocktail waiter/waitress, order what you want. I think the key words in OP's linked article are "busy bar" as some situational awareness goes a long way.

Spicy margaritas are too difficult to make?? You've got to be kidding—it's like, 3 or 4 simple ingredients (2-3 if they use a premade mix). Instead the article suggests I should "opt for a glass of wine"? How is that an even remotely comparable alternative?

Maybe I should just sit down at the bar with my own flask and throw singles at the bartender all night. Would that be manageable enough for his highness?

I’ll stick to my gin and tonic.

I'm sorry, but if all they can handle is vodka cranberries and draft beers, they really shouldn't be calling themselves "mixologists".

I get the general sentiment of the article, but as R1 said (albeit in true R1 fashion) if I'm going out and paying for something, shouldn't I get what I want?

(for the record, what I want is a a Diet Coke on the rocks)

Girl drinks all.

Order some drink the bartender has never heard of and then send it back numerous times because it "doesn't taste right."

Former bar & restaurant worker here.

Depends on the bar, whether they get "upset" about a certain type of order.

If it's a beer and shots place, they're not going to like an order for a blended drink, like a piña colada.

Things are probably different, now that Vitamixes (supposedly easy to clean up afterwards) are in the game.

I once made the mistake of ordering (as a customer) a Negroni at a beer and shots kind of place. Tasted meh Bartender didn't even know how to make it and I showed him the recipe on my phone. He asked me how it was. I said "good." He ended up not charging me for it.

I love me a Gin Fizz in the summertime and have to almost apologetically ask for it because I know it's a pain in the ass.

An establishment needs to have a sufficient number of trained bartenders to meet crowd size requests in a timely way.

Those mixed drinks are not cheap at quality bars, and customers usually pay more for multiple ingredient mixed drinks.

If serving mixed drinks is an issue with the business, make it clear to customers beforehand with signs and drink menu listings.

Being busy is not an adequate excuse to narrow usual drink offerings.

Bartenders are sick of being "worked to the bone"? The management should hire another bartender to help out.

Why are the patron's blamed? It's not their fault for under staffing. Besides, people like drinks they can't make at home.

So, I want a fucking Pina Colada, thank you.

Jon Taffer would throw this article in the trash next to some raw chicken (before it kills somebody). Being busy is no excuse not to make the drinks on your own menu.

Nobody is running around gathering ingredients for a Bloody Mary. Every bar I know of uses a pre-mix.

Former bar and restaurant worker here again — in the days before craft cocktails.

Bartenders have more respect for people who order stuff like X hard liquor on the rocks or neat. They actually give you a heavier pour.

Also, there is a drnks calling order. Those simple drinks like rocks drinks are called and made first. The frou frou stuff is near the end. Beers are called and pulled last.

R16 - thank you for info. My go-to is Jameson's on the rocks so I'll just keep on keeping on.

They have problems with a bloody? Who are these people? A bloody is one of the easiest drinks you can make.

R17, for rocks drinks, you can usually get a “free” short glass if Coke or other soda. E.g. “Crown [Royal] rocks, Coke back.”

Even if it made some sense because it's bothersome, find a different occupation or shut up and make the drinks; they are paying, not asking you to make them a drink out of the goodness of your heart.

A Jelly Bean.

Former restaurant worker here, again.

I agree you should just shut up and make the drinks. Some bartenders didn't mind it if a blended drink order came in during a busy time. Some would have a hissy fit. That's where professionalism and personal sanity comes in. Some bartenders act like prima donnas and have really short fuses. It's stupid.

This subject warrants an article?

If you’re impatient or a basic bitch, order accordingly.

Gin and tonic is my go-to.

I agree with R1. Fuck the bar or bartender if the can't make the drinks on the menu.

In your best Scarlett accent: "I'll have an Alabamah Slammah."

don't ask for anything with more than 2 ingredients and don't forget to tip at least 50 percent for the trouble.

tip 50% for a cocktail? You're insane.

R27

Also, Visine!

I'm sorry but fuck that. You signed up to be a bartender. You make what people order.

R16. Definitely my main concern when I go to a bar is whether the bartender has a sufficient amount of respect for me.

Cuales son los ingredientes para un cuba libre?

Order whatever you want off the menu. The problems start when people order things that the bar isn’t set up to make easily.

So if I order a Bacardi & Pineapple is my bartender going to be pissed off at me?

So can I have a regular margarita or what? Will asking for a salted rim piss someone off? Or should I say skip the salt and piss them off even more? How about the garnish? Too much? Skip the garnish? Too specific and too much to remember? Christ.

Who gives a fuck if the bartender's fefes are hurt. You're in business to serve your customers. Shut up and make my G-D drink.

Bloody Mary is ridiculous, because 90% of people would be fine without the garnishments. Bartenders should just ask.

People just want vodka in a low sugar/calorie vehicle.

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These experts don't want you to order a Bloody Mary during their busiest times. It's too hard to "find the ingredients", outside of a brunch.

Iced piss

Really depends on the situation. If you’re in a crowded club or pub where you order standing at the bar and need to gesture frantically to attract the bartender’s attention, like in most gay bars on a Saturday night, don’t order a girlish, chi chi cocktail. Stick to the basics. I always go for G&T. However if you’re in a cocktail bar that prides itself in having “mixologists”, where you will be served by a waiter/waitress, then I bloody expect to be served what I ordered, no matter how complicated. I usually like to challenge them, where I ask them to pour me something “fruity and spicy”. Always works.

I tended bar in Wisconsin at a rural shots and beer place.

With a packed bar, anything more than 2 ingredients is a pain in the ass.

For instance, a Brandy or Whiskey Old-Fashioned in Wisconsin is unlike it is in any other state.

If done from scratch: Fill large glass with ice, add a couple of splashes of bar syrup and a shake and half of Angustura bitters. Stir thoroughly (that's important). Add in two shots of brandy, fill with white soda, top with maraschino cherry or large bar olives.

When it's busier than Hell, and the rest of the customers are just ordering beer and/or shots and all you have to do is push it across the bar and pull back the cash and make change, an Old Fashioned is the last thing you want to make.

It disrupts the rhythm. Read the fucking bar room and order accordingly.

Geezuz. A Bloody Mary is Bloody Mary MIX and vodka and maybe a prepared celery stick. You don't even have to mix the ingredients - it comes in a bottle already prepared. As Ina would say, how easy is that?

If a Bloody Mary sounds really difficult to make, we're talking about someone that has a 6th Grade education. At best.

R42

Um, that's not our problem. It's yours.

Find another job where you're not taxed too terribly much, and the stress level is non-existent.

If you're that busy then have a bar back to help out. sorry that having a bar with the full menu of cocktails is too stressful for you. If you want to be a beer in shots place fine then that's what you advertise and say that's all you have.

No fresh mint, no mint juleps.

Otherwise, I love my hairy navels.

'eres awhole lotta lushes up in this joint

Just what IS the secret ingredient in a Flaming Moe?

What does dude-brah.com have to say today, OP?

How about this?

Ask for nothing, just give them a huge cash tip and walk away.

That's what they want.

Everything else annoys them, so get the fuck out.

We need automation at bars to remove despicable bartenders.

they have robot bartenders in vegas.

also they have those frozen drink machines so it's pretty easy to make pina coladas etc these days.

This is precisely why I’m apprehensive about going to bars. Too many “rules”.

Here’s a list of drinks you can order… but don’t order any of them!

Um wait. Is the bartender hot?

Conservatives = customer is always right

Liberals = screw the customers

The latter provide the worst customer service, because they inexplicably despise customers from the get-go.

And they're lazy, to boot!

Up to this point, i'd convinced myselg going out wasn't worth the hassle.

Now I kmow I was right all along.

Fuck you, asshole "hospitality" (more like hostility) workers.

[quote]Read the fucking bar room and order accordingly.

Thank you, R42. Excellent advice.

"10 Ways Bartenders will never get a tip from me..."

I'm so tired of these articles with baristas and other fucking service industry staff warning about what they don't like you doing. Who gives a shit? Get another job then, I guess. I got three words for you, learn to fucking type, cause if you only want to make certain drinks and still expect tips, you're probably not going to be able to support yourself.

For the price of cocktails these days I'll over whatever I damn want.

Like I care what the bartender thinks.

"I'll have a Nebraska Belly Warmer with Irish please. And make it snappy, bar byotch!"

I think a lot depends on whether you are a "regular" of a bar / restaurant or just want to go once and try it out.

On the other side of the coin, bartenders and servers can treat the customers well (a drink or two on the house, nice table, food freebies, etc.).

I am the former bar / restaurant worker. If you like being a regular somewhere, then yeah - don't order a pina colada when the bar is slammed. You will, in turn, get nice treatment at random times.

I ordered Grand Marnier and coffee once and they were not pleased....

R64, a patron (especially a regular who tips well) should receive nice treatment at all times. Making a pina colada, when "bar is slammed" is part of the job. A true professional handles it gracefully. Furthermore, another bartender is needed, when the place is busy.

Can I still order a blow job?

Don't come into the emergency room when we're really slammed with a gaping head wound. When we're busy, keep it to splinters and sprains. In return, if you're a frequent visitor, we'll sometimes give you perks like free aspirin.