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The refrigerator box dilemma

You’re walking down the street in your city and as you pass an alley you notice an upright refrigerator box and, emerging from a hole cut in it, a penis. It’s a large penis of a white man.

You see its jumping slightly as it throbs. What is this guy up to? Exhibitionism? Is he straight or gay?

What would you do? Would you consider it to be like finding a twenty on the sidewalk, or would you ignore it, or would you clutch your pearls and call 911?

No fraus please, and no lesbians. Gay responses only.

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by Anonymousreply 56June 13, 2024 1:09 AM

I'd take a picture, first. Perhaps FaceTime a friend to get a second opinion. Then I'd call 311.

by Anonymousreply 1June 9, 2024 7:36 PM

Run away from the scabies

by Anonymousreply 2June 9, 2024 7:37 PM

Spray it penis with silver Rust-Oleum as it seems like a new fridge handle.

by Anonymousreply 3June 9, 2024 7:44 PM

Don’t mind me, I’m just cleaning out the fridge 🍆

by Anonymousreply 4June 9, 2024 7:45 PM

That’s a fabulous idea, r3 👏👏👏

by Anonymousreply 5June 9, 2024 7:58 PM

Walk On By

by Anonymousreply 6June 9, 2024 8:05 PM

R6, and leave the big penis frustrated? That didn’t seem very neighborly.

If you whacked it with a twig for a while, something might happen 🤔

by Anonymousreply 7June 9, 2024 8:17 PM

Well this is a new feature! I heard about the ice and water in the door but this is something completely different!

by Anonymousreply 8June 9, 2024 8:25 PM

I'd ask "Kevin Spacey, is that you?"

by Anonymousreply 9June 9, 2024 8:28 PM

I was just watching an old episode of a TV show from 1984 this morning on YouTube and there was a commercial for a Refrigerator/freezer that had a built in ice cream maker. I'd rather have that than a mystery dick.

by Anonymousreply 10June 9, 2024 8:28 PM

I would rip the box away to make sure it wasn’t my hubs, supposedly at work.

by Anonymousreply 11June 9, 2024 8:35 PM

I'm with Dionne -keep walking. If you can see it as you walk down the street so can everyone else. More than likely there are cameras everywhere ready to ruin your life if you so much as touch it...

by Anonymousreply 12June 9, 2024 8:42 PM

Yeah, I'd beat it a few times with a stick. Teach him a lesson doing something so stupid.

by Anonymousreply 13June 9, 2024 9:53 PM

I think folks should carry garden shears, as there’s always something that needs to be clipped back.

by Anonymousreply 14June 9, 2024 10:11 PM

Worms are good for your garden, r14

by Anonymousreply 15June 9, 2024 10:54 PM

Alison, sorry, I thought is was a cucumber!

by Anonymousreply 16June 9, 2024 10:58 PM

I don’t have sex with strangers.

by Anonymousreply 17June 9, 2024 11:05 PM

You’re no fun. At all.

by Anonymousreply 18June 9, 2024 11:07 PM

Honestly speaking, I’d probably be too worried about diseases to suck it but I’d give it a handjob.

by Anonymousreply 19June 9, 2024 11:19 PM

But it could be your father!

by Anonymousreply 20June 9, 2024 11:21 PM

I’d give the tip a lick and if it tasted nice then I’d give it a good suck.

by Anonymousreply 21June 9, 2024 11:43 PM

R19 we hat s as puss

No different from sitting in a bathroom stall at your college’s undergrad library …and a hard dick appears through the g.h. The only polite response is to suck it off… duh.

by Anonymousreply 22June 9, 2024 11:55 PM

*what a puss

by Anonymousreply 23June 9, 2024 11:56 PM

I'd leave the white dick alone.

But if it was a black one? Well I'd be open to a meet-n-greet at the very least.

by Anonymousreply 24June 10, 2024 12:12 AM

Apologize to your grandma right now!

by Anonymousreply 25June 10, 2024 12:13 AM

Does it have to a refrigerator box?

Can it be a refriegerator, like, in my apartment?

by Anonymousreply 26June 10, 2024 12:24 AM

Schrödinger's Cock

by Anonymousreply 27June 10, 2024 12:27 AM

What brand of refrigerator?

by Anonymousreply 28June 10, 2024 12:31 AM

"The refrigerator box dilemma"

OP, your dilemma is someone else's opportunity.

by Anonymousreply 29June 10, 2024 12:32 AM

LOL, R27!

That's the kind of wit I come to DL for.

[BTW, I'd choose the bear.]

by Anonymousreply 30June 10, 2024 12:41 AM

I'd lift my caftan and back up into that thing all while making the beep beep sounds that trucks make while in reverse.

by Anonymousreply 31June 10, 2024 12:44 AM

lol r31 !!!

by Anonymousreply 32June 10, 2024 12:51 AM

I’d tie a blue ribbon on it and say, in a Scottish accent, “Lad — you’ve won 1st prize!”

by Anonymousreply 33June 10, 2024 12:51 AM

Thank you R30, senior lesbian! I enjoy your posts.

by Anonymousreply 34June 10, 2024 12:52 AM

I’d give it a handjob and when it came I would relentlessly palm the sensitive knob until that refrigerator box was QUAKING

by Anonymousreply 35June 10, 2024 12:53 AM

[Quote] Then I'd call 311.

Oh to read the transcript of that call

by Anonymousreply 36June 10, 2024 12:56 AM

Is it a rescue penis?

by Anonymousreply 37June 10, 2024 2:42 AM

R37 I’m cueing up “Angel,” by Sarah McLachlan. 😭

by Anonymousreply 38June 10, 2024 3:31 AM

mmmmmmm, you just don't know where that things been...it's a pass from me.

by Anonymousreply 39June 10, 2024 3:42 AM

Put a little Purell on it and fuck that hard cock. Looks like a good one. And if you actually see a cock like that in an alley from a box randomly and you don't jump on it, you are giving fate the middle finger. And that is something I am not want to do.

by Anonymousreply 40June 10, 2024 3:43 AM

This is how we do it now 🎵

by Anonymousreply 41June 10, 2024 5:07 AM

If I saw that I would laugh my ass off and then keep walking.

by Anonymousreply 42June 10, 2024 5:27 AM

[quote]And that is something I am not want to do.

The word is "wont," R40.

Nice try though!

by Anonymousreply 43June 10, 2024 8:38 AM

[quote] I don’t have sex with strangers.

But a stranger is just a friend you haven't met!

by Anonymousreply 44June 10, 2024 12:00 PM

You need to ask?

by Anonymousreply 45June 10, 2024 12:56 PM

If not friend, then why friend-shaped?

by Anonymousreply 46June 10, 2024 3:33 PM

[quote]Is it a rescue penis?

It was the penis who rescued us.

by Anonymousreply 47June 10, 2024 3:38 PM

If it had been a puppy, you’d have stopped to see that it was ok, pet it and then make it feel better—wouldn’t you?

Well, I care for penises in the same way you care for puppies.

by Anonymousreply 48June 10, 2024 3:41 PM

Thank you r48. You are a humanitarian.

by Anonymousreply 49June 10, 2024 9:47 PM

R48 needs a rabies shot and flea bath.

by Anonymousreply 50June 10, 2024 10:19 PM

You’re gonna have to make a bigger hole, I’m not in 6th grade anymore. At least physically, mentally, I’ll agree with you

by Anonymousreply 51June 10, 2024 11:53 PM

We're going to need a bigger butt.

by Anonymousreply 52June 13, 2024 12:06 AM

Food is food.

by Anonymousreply 53June 13, 2024 12:26 AM

I would ask if it needs defrosting.

by Anonymousreply 54June 13, 2024 12:37 AM

Pandora’s cock

by Anonymousreply 55June 13, 2024 1:02 AM

Because it’s dripping, R54?

by Anonymousreply 56June 13, 2024 1:09 AM
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