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Let’s be a Soap Opera

I’m the long-lost identical twin showing up out of nowhere to cause trouble.

by Anonymousreply 327June 19, 2024 1:33 AM

I'm the reformed rapist.

by Anonymousreply 1June 7, 2024 9:18 PM

I'm the videotape.

by Anonymousreply 2June 7, 2024 9:19 PM

I'm the lack of annoyance that my wife didn't know she was being fucked by my doppelganger while I sitting in my own shit, chained to a wall.

by Anonymousreply 3June 7, 2024 9:42 PM

I'm amnesia. What's the purpose of this again?

by Anonymousreply 4June 7, 2024 9:47 PM

I'm the forever 35 year old actress whose character gave birth last year to a child that's now 14.

by Anonymousreply 5June 7, 2024 9:49 PM

I'm all the millionnaires, spies, serial killers. terrorists, international jet setters, world-renown surgeons, and famous artists residing in a sleepy small town in the middle of nowhere.

by Anonymousreply 6June 7, 2024 9:51 PM

I'm the coming out scene from the hot young twink

by Anonymousreply 7June 7, 2024 9:51 PM

I am the Confessing-to-you-in-confidence. But I am also my evil twin, the Eavesdropper. What's the point of confiding if nobody overhears it?

by Anonymousreply 8June 7, 2024 9:54 PM

I'm the small town international airport with around-the-clock direct flights to every major city in the world.

by Anonymousreply 9June 7, 2024 10:06 PM

I’m Satanic demonic possession.

by Anonymousreply 10June 7, 2024 10:08 PM

I'm the big confrontation scene where one of the actor's back is turned to the others so that the audience can see both actors faces.

by Anonymousreply 11June 7, 2024 10:15 PM

I'm the rapid aging kid. Born three years ago, it's my first day at school today. In three years I will probably be engaged to my high school sweetheart.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 12June 7, 2024 10:24 PM

I'm the "consulting firm". No one really knows what I do, but I give my social-climbing founder the opportunity to dine at a fancy restaurant every night and sleep with every nubile young woman in town.

by Anonymousreply 13June 7, 2024 10:31 PM

I’m Ava!

We lived by the rules in that grungy house on Bowman Street!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 14June 8, 2024 1:48 AM

R14, turn in your Another World card now!!

by Anonymousreply 15June 8, 2024 5:20 AM


You deserve a kick in the cunt for that…

by Anonymousreply 16June 8, 2024 7:51 AM

I'm the strange sound waves that allow whispered conversations to be heard clear as a bell through a cracked doorway over 20 feet away.

by Anonymousreply 17June 8, 2024 8:14 AM

I'm the Slut of Springfield.

And I'm so much better than that slut from the valley.

by Anonymousreply 18June 8, 2024 8:46 AM

I'm carrying your child and having feelings for you. And unresponsive, interchangeable baby actors staring at their offscreen mothers.

by Anonymousreply 19June 8, 2024 8:51 AM

I'm Fashions Courtesy of Ohrbach's.

by Anonymousreply 20June 8, 2024 9:04 AM

I'm the 3 hours in hair and makeup

by Anonymousreply 21June 8, 2024 11:20 AM

I'm all the fabulous, often white, beautiful people leading exciting lives of glamour and wealth and yet never seem to work more than 3 hours a week tops.

by Anonymousreply 22June 8, 2024 12:12 PM

I'm the plethora of in-town lunatic asylums despite most having been shut down 40 years ago. I'm also incredibly easy to escape from.

by Anonymousreply 23June 8, 2024 12:13 PM

I'm the daytime writers and executives who create these shows thinking it's still 1979.

by Anonymousreply 24June 8, 2024 12:14 PM

I'm the town homosexual. Much like toddlers, I'm occasionally seen but seldom heard.

by Anonymousreply 25June 8, 2024 12:15 PM

I'm the good, hard slap across a cheating cad's face

by Anonymousreply 26June 8, 2024 12:20 PM

I'm all the interiors of exciting international settings - from Paris to Cairo to Tokyo - and we all look the same.

by Anonymousreply 27June 8, 2024 12:24 PM

I'm the lax security on hospital computer systems that allows random people to change test results to their liking.

by Anonymousreply 28June 8, 2024 12:25 PM

I'm the live burial

by Anonymousreply 29June 8, 2024 12:34 PM

I'm death, I'm only a thing until the actor's primetime/film career hopes don't work out, or the actor needs money, or the show needs shocking twist for a ratings boost If you don't believe me, talk to my friend, plastic surgery...

...Thank you death, hello everyone, I'm plastic surgery. I cannot only change a face, I can change height, skin tone, chest hair pattern and in some cases and I can literally age or de-age a character by at least a decade. And when my grieving wife realizes it's me, not through DNA - mind you, but some other nonsense means - like I know she doesn't take her coffee with sugar, she never seems to notice that my cock is completely different than the other guy's.

by Anonymousreply 30June 8, 2024 1:32 PM

I'm the child that you don't remember having given birth to because you were (a) hypnotized, (b) another of your several personalities, (c) convinced you had delivered a dead baby, or (d) convinced you had a miscarriage or abortion, only to find out twenty-five years later that someone made off with the fetus and gestated it long before such things were possible. Oh, yes, and by the way I might be a twin.

by Anonymousreply 31June 8, 2024 1:45 PM

I'm the coed prisons.

by Anonymousreply 32June 8, 2024 1:49 PM

I'm the eavesdropping porch. Lots of good dirt can be found on me!

by Anonymousreply 33June 8, 2024 1:54 PM

R30 good one, I wondered how all these women could be fooled by differing cocks and lovemaking style.

I'll be the identical tits the doppelganger must have to fool the husband/lover who no doubt has the originals emblazoned in his mind

by Anonymousreply 34June 8, 2024 3:50 PM

I'm the character who ends up temporarily paralyzed and I spend a few months in a wheelchair. I end up walking again and there is never any mention of chronic pain or other issues associated with spinal cord injuries.

by Anonymousreply 35June 8, 2024 5:04 PM

I’m the love triangle among siblings.

by Anonymousreply 36June 8, 2024 5:19 PM

I'm the man whose had both the mother and the daughter.

by Anonymousreply 37June 8, 2024 6:45 PM

I am Jill Farren Phelps, here to kill off middle aged female characters, hire my friends, and turn the show into a low budget Sopranos while aggressively pushing for Emmy Nods.

Did I mention that I killed 2P&G soaps?

by Anonymousreply 38June 8, 2024 6:49 PM

R37 Cole Deschanel! How the hell are you?

by Anonymousreply 39June 8, 2024 6:51 PM

I'm the NuDirection the head writer is taking a character in now that TPTB have decided to recast the role.

by Anonymousreply 40June 8, 2024 7:20 PM

I am, "The role of...... is now being played by.....".

by Anonymousreply 41June 8, 2024 7:45 PM

I'm Kathy Glasses fan mail.

by Anonymousreply 42June 8, 2024 7:48 PM

I'm Lil's Tercel

by Anonymousreply 43June 8, 2024 7:51 PM

I’m MTS performing behind-the-scenes racist tirades while wearing an Afro wig… and snubbing Aretha Franklin at a newsstand.

by Anonymousreply 44June 8, 2024 7:55 PM

I'm the implosion of the homely tween actor's dreams of superstardom, recast by a smokin' hot 19 year old

by Anonymousreply 45June 8, 2024 7:55 PM

I'm the coma a character is conveniently written to go into

by Anonymousreply 46June 8, 2024 7:56 PM

I'm the plot lines, where it is 1972, 1993, or 2024, the same plot line is going on:

Margo is cheating on her husband with her husband's evil twin brother.

Alex is in a coma

Victor is ruining Jack through a ruthless business venture

Susan Lucci is still claiming to be 39 despite the actress playing her daughter being 53

by Anonymousreply 47June 8, 2024 8:00 PM

I’m 2025, the year in which DOOL takes place.

by Anonymousreply 48June 8, 2024 8:01 PM

I'm the late night special where you get some sex scenes and swearing

by Anonymousreply 49June 8, 2024 8:03 PM

Likes sands through the hour glass....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 50June 8, 2024 8:05 PM

I'm the cool opening theme

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 51June 8, 2024 8:07 PM

I'm Sarah Michelle Gellar and Susan Lucci got me fired because I won an Emmy

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 52June 8, 2024 8:09 PM

I’m the octogenarian super-villain who reappears every once in a while to terrorize the town. Why I would want to release my evil supervirus in the town my grandchildren live in is a headscratcher, as is the question of why doesn't someone just push me down the stairs so the osteoporosis can do its job properly.

by Anonymousreply 53June 8, 2024 8:23 PM

I'm the Terror Island storyline on Sunset Beach that was ripped off from Scream.

by Anonymousreply 54June 8, 2024 8:25 PM

I'm the matriarch who got her start in Mack Sennett comedies. They built the building around me. I have to be wheeled in and poked in the back of the neck in order for me to say my line but I'm still here, damnit!

by Anonymousreply 55June 8, 2024 8:27 PM

I'm the Delia's 23rd husband.

by Anonymousreply 56June 8, 2024 8:28 PM

I'm the elevator that always gets stuck for hours leading to a couple having sex while they're trapped inside me.

You'll note, however, that I'm very homophobic, since this never happens to two guys who have undeniable screen chemistry.

by Anonymousreply 57June 8, 2024 8:28 PM

I'm the many abandoned of Dr Marlena Evans

by Anonymousreply 58June 8, 2024 8:29 PM

I'm the good gossip.

by Anonymousreply 59June 8, 2024 8:30 PM

Amy Vining likes to blab…

by Anonymousreply 60June 8, 2024 8:32 PM

I'm the kid that everyone is fighting for custody over, but who will then be sent to boarding school and forgotten about for several years until I'm SORASed and return to town as a juvenile delinquent 16-year old played by a 22-year old.

by Anonymousreply 61June 8, 2024 8:46 PM

I’m the actress the same age as the actor playing my son

by Anonymousreply 62June 8, 2024 8:51 PM

I'm the one-night stand that leads to pregnancy.

And for whatever reason, it appears to help if the guy is three sheets to the wind and ready to pass; how this goes to his ability to maintain an erection and complete the job is a bit of a mystery.

by Anonymousreply 63June 8, 2024 9:46 PM

I'm the baby who gets named after a deceased villainous relative.

by Anonymousreply 64June 8, 2024 9:56 PM

I'm the expunged criminal records

by Anonymousreply 65June 8, 2024 10:00 PM

R63, I’m the wanton, manipulative hissy who gets the drunk hero into bed… we never make love, but I’m able to convince him he’s the father of my fetus… the real baby daddy is a dopey nice guy who will never become a member of Mensa.

by Anonymousreply 66June 8, 2024 10:02 PM

I'm the attempt at a blowjob to get the drunk hero hard. I don't work but still find it erotic because he looks like Greg Vaughn

by Anonymousreply 67June 8, 2024 10:05 PM

R64, I’m the maiden name that becomes the baby’s first name.

But… I’m also the surname of the abusive ex-hiusband/stepfather… long after the abuser is gone the surviving women will preposterously invoke the name as a show of power. (“The Raines women are strong,” Lillian declares to Beth and Lizzie.)

by Anonymousreply 68June 8, 2024 10:05 PM

We five decided to post together:

- I'm the 0.1% Failure Rate of Birth Control Pills.

- I'm the Box of Condoms that the girl is seen buying. This is Russian Roulette. One of them inside me will break.

I'm the Vasectomy. Don't even bother.

I'm the over-the-counter Morning After Pill. No one's ever heard of me.

I could be Abortion, but everyone changes their mind at the last minute, and if they don't they will eventually have a nervous breakdown.

by Anonymousreply 69June 8, 2024 10:06 PM

^^^ ***HUSSY***

Muriel, an edit button, please.

by Anonymousreply 70June 8, 2024 10:07 PM

I'm the kissing right after waking up

by Anonymousreply 71June 8, 2024 10:12 PM

I'm the black bra that women don't take off while having sex.

by Anonymousreply 72June 8, 2024 10:14 PM

I'm the character who gets severely burned or disfigured in an accident. I undergo one plastic surgery, wearing full face bandages for a few episodes and then the bandages are removed and there are no residual scars.

by Anonymousreply 73June 8, 2024 10:18 PM

I'm the new character that eats the show during my first two months as I appear in nearly 40 episodes.


by Anonymousreply 74June 8, 2024 10:21 PM

I'm the town's funeral home director. I'm the richest man in town having made an absolute FORTUNE off these people who are repeatedly presumed dead, or actually do die but didn't really. No refunds, bitches!

by Anonymousreply 75June 8, 2024 10:24 PM

I'm Pat Ashley reporting from Paris. 🇫🇷

by Anonymousreply 76June 8, 2024 10:26 PM

I'm the unclaimed corpse who was buried when the town's beloved hero was presumed killed in a freak tornado-avalanche. No one will bother to change the headstone once he returns.

by Anonymousreply 77June 8, 2024 10:26 PM

I’m abortion.

I am never an option. It would end too many storylines on top of everything else.

by Anonymousreply 78June 8, 2024 10:34 PM

I'm Proctor & Gamble. I stopped giving a fuck about housewives 20 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 79June 8, 2024 10:36 PM

I'm the lack of frank sex talk

by Anonymousreply 80June 8, 2024 10:38 PM

I'm the diminutive, swarthy, stuttering mob kingpin of the Eastern Seaboard. Even though I am an internationally feared crime boss with immense power and wealth, I do not partake in sex work, drugs, or illegal arms trading. I'm also the moral center of this town.

by Anonymousreply 81June 8, 2024 10:42 PM

I'm the DNA report that is continuously meddled with such that no one knows who the real father is.

by Anonymousreply 82June 8, 2024 11:02 PM

I am the patriarch at the beginning of the show. I have a wife and two children. They all mean the world to me. In ten years I'll be on wife number three and five more children from various women. My first wife has two more children, one from before we were married and one she had out of wedlock when we were on a two-week break (she never cheats on anyone, hence the necessary brief breakup).

by Anonymousreply 83June 9, 2024 12:14 AM

I'm the guy who raised another man's child and when the adult child finds out who his/her's real father is, I'm cast off to the side like garbage.

by Anonymousreply 84June 9, 2024 12:16 AM

I'm Trucker's abs.

by Anonymousreply 85June 9, 2024 12:34 AM

I'm Ivan Kipling's wallpaper.

by Anonymousreply 86June 9, 2024 12:36 AM

I'm the Hammond Organ providing the opening themes and background music that was put into storage back in the early 70s never to be heard from again. HELP!

by Anonymousreply 87June 9, 2024 12:40 AM

What about ME?

by Anonymousreply 88June 9, 2024 12:41 AM

I'm rape. I can be a horrific crime, but sometimes I'm also foreplay.

by Anonymousreply 89June 9, 2024 12:45 AM

I'm the popular young actor who decides to leave the soap after a couple of years in order to find fame and fortune in film and prime time, only to come crawling back three years from now ... well, that is if they haven't recast with someone better.

by Anonymousreply 90June 9, 2024 12:54 AM

I'm the voiceover announcer who states "The role of _____ ______ is now being played by _____ ______.

by Anonymousreply 91June 9, 2024 12:59 AM

I’m the siblings who have to call one another “big brother” and “sis” because there’s no way we could be related.

by Anonymousreply 92June 9, 2024 1:44 AM

I'm Nina Cortlandt's insulin.

by Anonymousreply 93June 9, 2024 1:49 AM

I'm the amazing insurance plan every one has. 10 years in a coma? No problem. Emergency reconstructive surgery? We got you covered. Psychotic breakdown? Take all the time you need.

by Anonymousreply 94June 9, 2024 1:55 AM

I'm Victor Lord finger banging Irene Manning.

by Anonymousreply 95June 9, 2024 1:58 AM

I am the ageing leading man who has been torn between two women for over 30 years and have about 20 kids with both of them.

by Anonymousreply 96June 9, 2024 1:58 AM

I'm rapemance.

by Anonymousreply 97June 9, 2024 2:04 AM

I’m DID aka multi personality disorder.

by Anonymousreply 98June 9, 2024 2:49 AM

I'm the black bitches Slee wants out of her face!

by Anonymousreply 99June 9, 2024 2:49 AM

I'm Karen Wolek's tricks.


by Anonymousreply 100June 9, 2024 2:49 AM

I'm Mahjong night at the Craig's.

by Anonymousreply 101June 9, 2024 3:25 AM

I'm Bob Hughes' lusty penis.

by Anonymousreply 102June 9, 2024 3:30 AM

I'm Gloria Fucking Swanson and the no turbans rule.

by Anonymousreply 103June 9, 2024 3:33 AM

I’m the misguided LSD trip that lands you in an asylum.

[italic]Watch your iced tea glass!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 104June 9, 2024 3:51 AM

I've been watching your house. I know your schedule.

by Anonymousreply 105June 9, 2024 3:57 AM

I’m the soon-to-be major star, just passing through.

The rest of you are stuck here FOREVER!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 106June 9, 2024 4:09 AM

I'm the truck stop diner located somewhere out in the boonies where the heroine takes a job working as a waitress when she's lost, on the run, amnesiac, etc. and has no money.

by Anonymousreply 107June 9, 2024 5:38 AM

I'm the insanely rich family that for whatever reason insists on all living together in one house despite obvious, vitriolic hate-spews every day.

by Anonymousreply 108June 9, 2024 12:53 PM

I'm the mental block that allows the antagonist to believe their obsession is really in love with them, despite you doing everything you can to ruin their life

by Anonymousreply 109June 9, 2024 12:56 PM

I'm the former mental patient with three deaths under my belt, a failed business, multiple marriages, no college education, and well-known mob ties who still manages to be mayor of the town.

by Anonymousreply 110June 9, 2024 12:59 PM

I'm selective memory.

1) He terrorized me and my family for years, but now I realize that he was just misunderstood - now I love him and want him and his past crimes to me and my family don't matter.

2) He raped me on a dance floor, but he saved the town from becoming a popsicle, so it's okay

3) He raped my twin sister, but now he's the love of my life

4) I kidnapped and swapped babies, but when the same thing happens to me, I get to claim the moral high ground

by Anonymousreply 111June 9, 2024 2:57 PM

I'm all the crimes committed by the supposed upstanding citizens, that go unpunished. I include tampering with evidence, lying to the police, failing to report a crime, falsifying records, leaving the baddie to die and drugging others.

by Anonymousreply 112June 9, 2024 3:09 PM

I am the kind of love Alice Frame will never know!

by Anonymousreply 113June 9, 2024 3:36 PM

I'm the child whose paternity was the source of endless plot twists, who was a teenager for three months, came back to town six months later trained as a doctor whose speciality -- cardiologist, brain surgeon, obstetrician -- changes to accommodate the plot.

by Anonymousreply 114June 9, 2024 3:42 PM

I’m cheap sets.

by Anonymousreply 115June 9, 2024 3:48 PM

I'm the cue cards.

by Anonymousreply 116June 9, 2024 3:54 PM

I'm the pub/bar that has rooms upstairs for boarders or members of the family who owns the bar/pub.

by Anonymousreply 117June 9, 2024 4:08 PM

I'm the presumed dead spouse who shows up in the middle of the wedding ceremony of the surviving spouse.

by Anonymousreply 118June 9, 2024 4:11 PM

I'm Bob, the lawyer. I specialize in everything

Need a will done? Call Bob

Criminal hearing? Call Bob

Need someone to represent your Fortune 500 Company? Call Bob

Fighting the HOA? Call Bob

Bankruptcy? Call Bob

by Anonymousreply 119June 9, 2024 4:43 PM

Bob is also called the best lawyer in town, yet he has never won one murder case.

by Anonymousreply 120June 9, 2024 4:50 PM

I'm the show's main villain who is an ass to everyone. In order for the audience to still like me I have been given a genuine tender bond to the one child on the show. It shows my weak but sympathetic side. And voila, people love me.

by Anonymousreply 121June 9, 2024 5:17 PM

I'm the wardrobe attendant taking home the discarded undies from the hot actor to put on my face

by Anonymousreply 122June 9, 2024 5:21 PM

I'm the lame holiday traditional family event like the 4th of the July barbecue in Springfield or the Christmas tree ornament placing party in Salem.

by Anonymousreply 123June 9, 2024 5:24 PM

I'm walls that shake when a door closes.

by Anonymousreply 124June 9, 2024 6:08 PM

I'm the character who just shows up at someone front door without calling first.

by Anonymousreply 125June 9, 2024 6:12 PM

Im long long rich aunt from Georgia only to discover she murdered 3 of her ex boyfriends.

by Anonymousreply 126June 9, 2024 6:15 PM

I'm the new "Story Consultant" brought in by The Suits to fix this crapfest.

Now, it's really going to get bad. And if I play my cards right, I'll be the next Head Writer!

by Anonymousreply 127June 9, 2024 7:15 PM

Im the fact that sometimes people come back from the dead in our universe.

by Anonymousreply 128June 9, 2024 7:20 PM

I’m the flakes of snow that never melt when a character comes inside.

by Anonymousreply 129June 9, 2024 7:33 PM

I'm the speedos worn by all the hot guys in the pool scenes years ago.

by Anonymousreply 130June 9, 2024 7:41 PM

I'm the plastic surgeon who can make anyone look exactly like someone else, even if the two people aren't the same height-weight, have very recognizable moles or scars, different looking teeth, eye colors, boobies, cock dimensions, etc.

I often end up dead after I've performed the surgery.

by Anonymousreply 131June 9, 2024 7:43 PM

I'm Dr Rolf, doing a full body search of an unconscious Marlena/Hope so he can make Hattie/Gina look exactly like them. The pervert

by Anonymousreply 132June 9, 2024 7:46 PM

R131 Don't forget the voice transplant as well.

by Anonymousreply 133June 9, 2024 7:46 PM

I'm the lovelorn oft-married heroine whose full name makes people think I'm a law firm.

by Anonymousreply 134June 9, 2024 7:48 PM

Coma followed by amnesia.

Murder trials.

Disputed parentage.

by Anonymousreply 135June 9, 2024 7:59 PM

I am the accelerated speed of our legal system. I am arrested on Monday, indicted on Tuesday, stood trial of Thursday and the verdict is due late on Friday.

by Anonymousreply 136June 9, 2024 8:04 PM

I can't remember the last time I even saw a guy on a soap wearing a speedo. Probably Ronn Moss (gross), who's been gone from B&B for 12 years.

by Anonymousreply 137June 9, 2024 8:10 PM

[quote]R117 I'm the pub/bar that has rooms upstairs for boarders, or members of the family who own the bar/pub.

I’m Kelly’s, renamed Bobbie’s after a certain someone died.

(I am still livid about this. FUCK Bobbie Spencer!)

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 138June 9, 2024 8:12 PM

I'm General Hospital.

by Anonymousreply 139June 9, 2024 8:13 PM

I'm the plus-size girl who's love interest is the new hot hunk in town, because he's not superficial and is attracted to my personality; he only sees how beautiful I am on the inside.

by Anonymousreply 140June 9, 2024 8:30 PM

I'm the crunchy old mean drunk turned town heroine. I look and sound like a used-up bar hag, but men (especially stable boys) still want to get with me.

by Anonymousreply 141June 9, 2024 8:30 PM

I'm Rick's Beanie Babies

by Anonymousreply 142June 9, 2024 9:50 PM

I'm the pregnant female character who goes into labor and my baby ends up being delivered by my love interest who isn't the baby's father.

by Anonymousreply 143June 9, 2024 9:56 PM

R143 = Brooke Logan

by Anonymousreply 144June 9, 2024 10:17 PM

I'm THE BIG POTTED PLANT that some actress will be standing behind during the last five months of her real-life pregnancy.

Team members include: a vase full of giant chrysanthemums, a desk lamp with a very large shade, and a thick overcoat with matching satchel bag.

by Anonymousreply 145June 9, 2024 10:41 PM

i cant post

by Anonymousreply 146June 9, 2024 10:42 PM

I’m the ingenue who lasts all of the 13 contracted weeks and is replaced. I never act again.

by Anonymousreply 147June 9, 2024 10:48 PM

I'm Christine Jones. From the temp agency. I come and stink up a soap now and then when they need a cheap substitute.

by Anonymousreply 148June 9, 2024 10:49 PM

I’m the long-awaited wedding that unites our beloved hero and heroine and turns them into a dull married couple.

by Anonymousreply 149June 9, 2024 10:52 PM

Fuck you R149

by Anonymousreply 150June 9, 2024 10:57 PM

I'm the 5-year old kid that everyone's fawning over, but I can't act for shit and can barely get two words out. I like to look around everywhere except at the adult character who's actually talking to me in the scene.

by Anonymousreply 151June 9, 2024 10:59 PM

[quote]I'm Christine Jones. From the temp agency. I come and stink up a soap now and then when they need a cheap substitute.

Are you really coming for Janice Frame? THE Janice Frame?

by Anonymousreply 152June 9, 2024 11:06 PM

[italic]Cause of Death: Stabbed by Rachel Cory in a swimming pool.[/italic]

Good god!

by Anonymousreply 153June 9, 2024 11:27 PM

I'm the tape recorder that just happened to be on when someone confessed to a crime, allowing for months and months of blackmail.

by Anonymousreply 154June 9, 2024 11:37 PM

I'm the incredibly mawkish holiday shows and other "family-feel-good," syrupy, saccharine episodes.

by Anonymousreply 155June 9, 2024 11:38 PM

I'm a book, and you've never seen a character read me on any soap ever.

by Anonymousreply 156June 9, 2024 11:39 PM

I'm the one-dimensional parent of a character who is mean, abusive, condescending, and just plain awful, which is intended to draw out the sympathy of the audience to a badly-acted young character.

by Anonymousreply 157June 9, 2024 11:40 PM

I am the multi national corporations that somehow avoid bankruptcy, despite changing CEOs every 3 months, being the subject of a hostile takeover every 6 months, and being forgotten for a year while 1-2 of the CEOs is on trial for murder.

by Anonymousreply 158June 9, 2024 11:41 PM

I'm Diana Taylor's blood.

by Anonymousreply 159June 9, 2024 11:48 PM

I'm the hot young male character that all the elder gays who watch this shit want the writers to make gay.

by Anonymousreply 160June 9, 2024 11:53 PM

I'm Drake Hogestyn's character.

Every few years, the writing regime of the show reinvents my back story.

I'm a spy/agent! I'm a DiMera! No, I'm an Alamain! No, my father is Dick van Dyke!

by Anonymousreply 161June 10, 2024 1:34 AM


by Anonymousreply 162June 10, 2024 1:53 AM

R161 The character of John Black is meant to be a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma that's enveloped by the smell of a silent, but deadly fart.

by Anonymousreply 163June 10, 2024 2:29 AM

I'm the fluid geography of the town. Sometimes I'm on a river, or a lake, or near the beach. Sometimes I'm a short drive to a real major city and other times I'm clear across on the other side of the state. As an added bonus, weather is flexible too. I'm often set in the cold states like Wisconsin or upstate New York, and yet characters walk around outside in just a windbreaker during winter months.

by Anonymousreply 164June 10, 2024 12:17 PM

I am the horrible display of actual business practices and HR incidents. Insider trading, sleeping with co-workers, blackmail, and extortion as vehicles to drive the storyline.

by Anonymousreply 165June 10, 2024 1:12 PM

I'm an ex-breakdown writer on the number one soap. The headwriter decided the scriptwriters could make it up as they go along. I don't believe they got an accompanying salary bump.

by Anonymousreply 166June 10, 2024 1:24 PM

I'm Beverly. Secretly eating bread in the ladies room at the disco.

by Anonymousreply 167June 10, 2024 4:18 PM

I'm Dr Marlena's overworked colleagues, trying to cover for this bitch while she's kidnapped again. Or possessed (yeah right!). Or in prison. Or a coma. Amnesia following a miscarriage was very creative though. We're taking odds on her next trick to get out any actual work..

by Anonymousreply 168June 10, 2024 4:45 PM

I’m Traci Abbott’s early stint with bulimia (maybe the first for this topic in daytime tv). Traci’s best friend, played by Elizabeth Kiefer, seems to be noticing me. Then I disappear.

by Anonymousreply 169June 10, 2024 4:49 PM

Fat bitch only puked up her food so she could eat it again.

by Anonymousreply 170June 10, 2024 4:51 PM

I'm the ladies room at the Springfield Country Club. When they mount this set, you know you're in for a week of shit gettin' real.

by Anonymousreply 171June 10, 2024 5:02 PM


by Anonymousreply 172June 10, 2024 5:58 PM

R171, love it! Nola and Vanessa, India and Reva…

by Anonymousreply 173June 10, 2024 7:36 PM

I'm Nepotism.

If you're an executive producer, head writer, or lead actor on the show, I'm sure I can find something for that kid of yours to do.

by Anonymousreply 174June 10, 2024 8:45 PM

I'm the toilet baby who grew up to be a top model.

by Anonymousreply 175June 10, 2024 8:53 PM

I'm the prime time actor who's agent told him to take this stupid guest stint. Something about losing my health insurance.

by Anonymousreply 176June 10, 2024 9:24 PM

I'm the show's big supercouple who can't stand each other in real life. The only time we talk to each other is during scenes.

by Anonymousreply 177June 10, 2024 9:39 PM

I’m a five foot tall woman… and I’m a SUPERMODEL!!

by Anonymousreply 178June 10, 2024 10:05 PM

I’m the original character who now gets two lines a month, affects no stories whatsoever, and gets pushed into the background at parties and weddings.

by Anonymousreply 179June 10, 2024 10:13 PM

r178 and a toilet baby...don't forget you were a toilet baby

by Anonymousreply 180June 10, 2024 10:20 PM

I'm the hate watcher. I now make up 95% of the daytime soap opera viewing audience.

by Anonymousreply 181June 10, 2024 10:27 PM

I'm the murder mystery in which eight of the major characters have a motive and an opportunity, but the killer turns out to be a day player who nobody really cares about.

by Anonymousreply 182June 10, 2024 10:28 PM

R182 - While very enjoyable it really is absurd how after months or years of a villain's atrocious behavior, 6-8 characters suddenly, all at once on one night independent of each other, go publicly off the rails threatening to kill so-and-so and then have no alibi.

by Anonymousreply 183June 10, 2024 10:34 PM

I’m an actress who shows my tits in an R-rated movie and then gets a major role on a soap a year later.

by Anonymousreply 184June 10, 2024 10:38 PM

I'm the town's token Jewish character. I don't appear in the annual big Christmas episode.

by Anonymousreply 185June 10, 2024 10:39 PM

I’m a make soap actor. In real life, I’m either a rabid Republican or gay.

by Anonymousreply 186June 10, 2024 10:44 PM


by Anonymousreply 187June 10, 2024 10:45 PM

[quote] I'm the hate watcher. I now make up 95% of the daytime soap opera viewing audience.

I'm the other 5% who are over 87-years old and fall asleep after the first ten minutes.

by Anonymousreply 188June 10, 2024 10:45 PM


by Anonymousreply 189June 10, 2024 10:52 PM

"I'm the other 5% who are over 87-years old and fall asleep after the first ten minutes."...and it makes no difference because 90% of the episode is retelling what happened in the past episodes and only 10% (if that) is any actual movement of the plot.

by Anonymousreply 190June 10, 2024 10:55 PM

I'm the fluidity of time. One day might last a month, but it's always today. Sometimes Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all follow seamlessly.

by Anonymousreply 191June 10, 2024 11:04 PM

To R191’s and R190’s points, I think (some of) the undoing of the genre has been the attempt to speed things up.

by Anonymousreply 192June 10, 2024 11:09 PM

I'm Big Pharma!

I love paying for these soaps with my non-stop ads for the diabetic, the obese, the depressed, and all the other old-timers out there with heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis and multiple respiratory illnesses. Just ask your doctor!

by Anonymousreply 193June 11, 2024 12:12 AM

I'm the yellow residue all over the Snyder kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 194June 11, 2024 12:32 AM

I'm Seth Snyder.

I am a nerdy dork in my flannel shirt, but I have a foot long love monster that makes all the girls scream.

by Anonymousreply 195June 11, 2024 12:52 AM

I'm the big glasses that make a beautiful woman automatically be seen as ugly and frumpy once she puts them on. Stay tuned for the glam makeover.

by Anonymousreply 196June 11, 2024 1:23 AM

R192 That, and the noted lack of speedos in the soap operas of today.

by Anonymousreply 197June 11, 2024 1:27 AM

I'm the couch that characters always end up having sex on even though they're supposedly in a residence with multiple bedrooms.

by Anonymousreply 198June 11, 2024 1:28 AM

I'm The Baseball Cap of Invisibility. Characters put me on when they want to lurk around town hoping no one will see or recognize them. I'm sometimes joined by a pair of eyeglasses or sunglasses from Dollar Tree.

by Anonymousreply 199June 11, 2024 1:35 AM

I'm the young muscled male second lead. I like to pretend I didn't get the job by blowing the EP.

by Anonymousreply 200June 11, 2024 2:07 AM

R200 Excuse me?

by Anonymousreply 201June 11, 2024 3:19 AM

[quote] I'm The Baseball Cap of Invisibility. Characters put me on when they want to lurk around town hoping no one will see or recognize them. I'm sometimes joined by a pair of eyeglasses or sunglasses from Dollar Tree.

Like when Harley donned a "disguise" to pretend she was someone else around Philip, but the "disguise" was just a pair of glasses?

by Anonymousreply 202June 11, 2024 3:20 AM

I'm the chubby, frumpy, dumpy actress who plays a fashionista running an international glamour magazine.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 203June 11, 2024 4:22 AM

I'm the pregnant woman who falls down the stairs and has a miscarriage.

by Anonymousreply 204June 11, 2024 4:50 AM

I'm the bad girl character who goes through the "raped portrayed as redemption" storyline.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 205June 11, 2024 1:45 PM

I am the fat actress who had her hair teased to god-level drag queen height to take away from my jowls.

by Anonymousreply 206June 11, 2024 2:04 PM

I play a maid and haven't had a storyline in years. But my overwhelming sense of self-importance and entitlement is astounding.

by Anonymousreply 207June 11, 2024 2:08 PM

I’m my great aunt Clara. My story’s on TV. DON’T call me!

by Anonymousreply 208June 11, 2024 2:08 PM

I’m the hated replacement actress of a popular character, usually a villain, when the red haired played me so much better.

by Anonymousreply 209June 11, 2024 5:11 PM

I'm the early 90s soap opera collectors' plates that were hawked to frau soap fans.

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by Anonymousreply 210June 11, 2024 5:37 PM

I'm hair extensions. If I weren't around, all these well-beyond-menopause female characters with thinning hair would be wearing Eva Gabor wigs like they used to.

by Anonymousreply 211June 11, 2024 7:12 PM

I'm the threat to kill the character off in that mid-season cliffhanger if the self-important asshole actor doesn't start towing the line

by Anonymousreply 212June 11, 2024 7:28 PM

I'm the 90s. The only acting experience needed was nice pecs, chiseled abs, and a pretty face.

by Anonymousreply 213June 11, 2024 7:29 PM

[quote]towing the line


by Anonymousreply 214June 11, 2024 7:34 PM

I'm the son you never knew you had, from that time you had sex with your brother-in-law.

by Anonymousreply 215June 11, 2024 7:36 PM

I'm your rep from Hear-It-All, manufacturer of eavesdropping porches throughout the marvelous midwest.

by Anonymousreply 216June 11, 2024 7:38 PM

I'm the weekend. Has it ever once been a Saturday or Sunday on any soap opera?

by Anonymousreply 217June 11, 2024 7:39 PM

We're the two babies switched in the hospital nursery.

The wrong one given to the lead actress will more than likely die.

by Anonymousreply 218June 11, 2024 7:47 PM

I'm the new actress who has been on the show for six weeks and got an emmy nomination while the older lead who has been on the show 20 years has never gotten a nomination.

by Anonymousreply 219June 11, 2024 7:55 PM

I’m the whoring 18 yr old daughter. Last year I was 5.

by Anonymousreply 220June 11, 2024 8:00 PM

I'm Cheetos, which I just ran out of..

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by Anonymousreply 221June 11, 2024 8:27 PM

I'm the lack of interest in the history of established characters that leads to forgetting their backstory.

by Anonymousreply 222June 11, 2024 8:32 PM

I'm the character who suffers a head injury and spends some time in a coma. After I wake up, I have no long-term cognitive or physical health issues. I just walk around with a cane for a few episodes and then everything is fine.

And I'm also the character who gets shot in the head and has no long term brain damage.

by Anonymousreply 223June 11, 2024 8:55 PM

I'm Boarding School.

I'm usually located in Switzerland or Great Britain, but occasionally fly the flag of some other European country. I'm that place where parents deposit their kids - typically those in the seven to 12-year-old age range - after they've outlived their adorable cuteness, but aren't yet old enough to be featured in a Young Adult romance. .. That's right! Just hand them over to me, and after a year or two, I'll SORAS these unwanted kids and send them home as 16-year-olds ready for action!

Unfortunately, for the stellar reputation I have in the field of education, these new teenagers will more than likely return as bratty juvenile delinquents who are always out to cause some kind of trouble. .. And for the record, you might want to give them a 12-panel drug test as well as a detailed lecture on birth control and STDs as soon as they get off the plane. It's not in our curriculum.

by Anonymousreply 224June 11, 2024 9:21 PM

Some of those boarding schools have special powers or something special in the water.

I went to boarding school a skinny 10 year old, and came back soon after as a tall, muscular 18 year old!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 225June 11, 2024 9:41 PM

[quote] I’m a male soap actor. In real life, I’m either a rabid Republican or gay.

Can't it be both?

by Anonymousreply 226June 11, 2024 9:57 PM

[quote] I play a maid and haven't had a storyline in years. But my overwhelming sense of self-importance and entitlement is astounding.

Those most true-to-life character on the show also.

by Anonymousreply 227June 11, 2024 9:58 PM

I'm the vampires, werewolves, and witches desperately written in when Gothic Romance wasn't selling the show.

by Anonymousreply 228June 11, 2024 10:06 PM

I'm the gay orgies being had over at Edge of Night.

by Anonymousreply 229June 11, 2024 10:07 PM

I'm the flaming actor desperately trying to act like a straight romantic lead. No one over the age of 12 is buying it.

by Anonymousreply 230June 11, 2024 10:08 PM

I'm bad the prom dress fashion featured on The Bold & the Beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 231June 11, 2024 10:13 PM

I'm the 19 year old actor gloating over my Young Actor Emmy win over my fellow contestants, all of whom were between 7 - 12 years old.

by Anonymousreply 232June 11, 2024 10:21 PM

We're the characters of Palmer Cortlandt and Alan Spaulding.

We're supposed to be two of daytime's most feared villains, not to mention the kind of leading men who inspire wet pussies everywhere.

But we're played by two of the nelliest prisspots around!

by Anonymousreply 233June 11, 2024 10:41 PM

We're the new Hispanic family. There's at least four kids along with their poor Mama who has two work two jobs. There's no Papa in sight. The oldest son has always acted like the father in the family. One brother won't do as his older brother says, though, and one of the girls always dreams that Papa will return someday.

by Anonymousreply 234June 11, 2024 11:25 PM

*has to work too jobs

by Anonymousreply 235June 11, 2024 11:26 PM

* I give up LOL

has to work two jobs

by Anonymousreply 236June 11, 2024 11:28 PM

R202 — Harley as Ruth

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 237June 12, 2024 12:02 AM

R225 — Lincoln Prep!

I vividly remember Phillip and (Frede)Rick returning unexpectedly, Rick driving Phillip’s fancy sports car. When Springfield PD pulls them over for speeding Phillip switches seats and takes the blame — their characters and their friendship cemented in a few moments of airtime.

by Anonymousreply 238June 12, 2024 12:09 AM

I'm The Friday Cliffhanger ... I've been killed off by Spoilers!

by Anonymousreply 239June 12, 2024 12:18 AM

R237 don't remind me! It was so obvious LOL!

by Anonymousreply 240June 12, 2024 4:17 AM

I'm gayling Will's naughty thoughts about Uncle Eric

by Anonymousreply 241June 12, 2024 10:41 AM

I'm twin hijinks. I'm either the long lost twin. The never known about twin. The vengeful twin. The psychotic twin. The goody two shoes twin. Or... the slutty twin.

by Anonymousreply 242June 12, 2024 1:37 PM

I'm the big star from the other soap who just started on this new show expecting to be the star and my character is written off six months later.

by Anonymousreply 243June 12, 2024 1:48 PM

I'm EJ's 13 x 8.5". Uncle Eric in r241 doesn't stand a chance.

by Anonymousreply 244June 12, 2024 2:13 PM


by Anonymousreply 245June 12, 2024 2:21 PM

I'm General Hospital and Days of Our Lives. r245 doesn't know what he's talking about.

by Anonymousreply 246June 12, 2024 2:29 PM

I'm Will thinking about EJ's 13 x 8.5. And I'm also Will, moaning and cumming as I think about my beautiful stepfather EJ calling me "William" or "Master William."

by Anonymousreply 247June 12, 2024 3:36 PM

Who the hell are Will and Uncle Eric?

by Anonymousreply 248June 12, 2024 4:03 PM

Im the long lost cousin from England who sleeps in a box in the basement. Why has no one noticed why they only see me at night?

by Anonymousreply 249June 12, 2024 4:16 PM

Im the long lost cousin from England who sleeps in a box in the basement. Why has no one noticed why they only see me at night?

by Anonymousreply 250June 12, 2024 4:16 PM

I'm the shitty, back and forth editing for twins scenes.

by Anonymousreply 251June 12, 2024 4:17 PM

R246 O I thought only Young and Restless and B&B were left.

by Anonymousreply 252June 12, 2024 4:33 PM

[quote] I'm the long lost cousin from England

I'm Sabrina, the other long lost half-cousin - slash - half-sibling from England. I like to ride a cockhorse to Banbury Cross.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 253June 12, 2024 5:44 PM

I'm the disaster episodes to mark the big soap anniversary.

by Anonymousreply 254June 12, 2024 5:49 PM

I'm the huge fire/flood/other destruction used as a cover for replacing the cheap sets, as HD takes over

by Anonymousreply 255June 12, 2024 5:50 PM

I’m the black family on Y&R. We’re all beautiful and only interact with the prominent members of the Newman family.

by Anonymousreply 256June 12, 2024 6:07 PM

I’m Ryan Philippe and I played a fag.

by Anonymousreply 257June 12, 2024 6:13 PM

As mentioned at R233.....I am the leading man who can be clocked as a gay man from SPACE.

I'm also the leading lady, yet I am the dykiest dyke that ever dyked.

by Anonymousreply 258June 12, 2024 6:14 PM

I'm Devon's mullet

by Anonymousreply 259June 12, 2024 6:16 PM

I'm Mary Stuart, "fuck those goddamned McClearys!"

by Anonymousreply 260June 12, 2024 6:25 PM

I'm Ada's dishtowel.

by Anonymousreply 261June 12, 2024 6:33 PM

I'm the neurotic maid.

by Anonymousreply 262June 12, 2024 6:46 PM

[quote]Louise Goddard, Vivian, Esther, Mamie

That was Vivien with an E.

by Anonymousreply 263June 12, 2024 7:08 PM

I'm the bartender at the town's primary watering hole who serves drinks without uttering a spoken line.

Who do I have to blow around here to get Underfive status.

by Anonymousreply 264June 12, 2024 10:26 PM

I’m locked up in a room or a closet or a basement for months by my rival or my evil twin.

How do I go to the bathroom?

by Anonymousreply 265June 13, 2024 12:33 AM

I'm the stereotypical gay character who is lusting after the hot muscled straight man.

by Anonymousreply 266June 13, 2024 2:20 AM

^^^ I think that only happens with "Xeo" on Days of our Lives ..lol

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 267June 13, 2024 2:32 AM

I am the 60 year old man involved with a 25 year old woman.

by Anonymousreply 268June 13, 2024 4:15 AM

Or the 60 year old woman involved with a 25 year old man.

by Anonymousreply 269June 13, 2024 11:46 AM

I'm the hotel where multi millionaires live in a one room suite, because the budget is nil, and the same set is used with hardly a change in design.

by Anonymousreply 270June 13, 2024 12:42 PM

I'm the bad girl daddy issues

by Anonymousreply 271June 13, 2024 1:26 PM

I am the hambone veteran actress who was never a star, now lounging about in peignors chewing up the scenery, dragging out my lines and warbling. I'm what is accepted as great acting, but I would be laughed off the screen in primetime or film.

by Anonymousreply 272June 13, 2024 3:20 PM

I’m the serial killer storyline that’s basically been created to trim the cast of too much fat.

by Anonymousreply 273June 13, 2024 4:16 PM

I’m “Dark Shadows” and somehow the luckiest soap pre-1979 as every episode of me, except one, still exists.

by Anonymousreply 274June 13, 2024 4:21 PM

I’m the middle-aged character who was once front burner in the late 70s. Remember me? I was part of a couple, we weren’t THE couple but we’re still popular.

The writers stopped writing for me years ago but occasionally you’ll still see me around town.

by Anonymousreply 275June 13, 2024 4:23 PM

I’m the melodic theme song from the 60s, 70s, and/or 80s that will make you very nostalgic and maybe even tear up a little when you seek me out on YouTube. I remind you of your grandmother and your mom and the old living room.

by Anonymousreply 276June 13, 2024 4:26 PM

R276 isn't lying. This wasn't even my consistent show but I watched this when Agnes Nixon died and cried like a baby when I heard this.....MARY!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 277June 13, 2024 6:52 PM

l am Paul Rauch's brain. I came up with the 90 minute soap and destroyed that soap in the process. How I ever got another job, with my past history of racism, sexism and backstabbing would have made the greatest soap ever.

by Anonymousreply 278June 13, 2024 7:05 PM

I'm Mindy Lewis, Chelsea Newman, Summer Newman. We are fashion designers from small towns. We also don't know any gay men.

by Anonymousreply 279June 13, 2024 9:31 PM

Love it, R253!

We always gripe about women (like YR’s Phyllis) having sex with a doppelgänger and not noticing any difference (faux Jack was likely uncut!), but Seth fucked Sabrina at the Snyder pond thinking she was Frannie. I know it was later rationalized by saying that Seth subconsciously loved Sabrina, but come on!

by Anonymousreply 280June 13, 2024 10:32 PM

I'm the former cast member of a soap opera who returns to play the ghost of my deceased character for several episodes during sweeps month.

by Anonymousreply 281June 13, 2024 10:39 PM

It was dark, R280!!! And Seth was horny and without her glasses, Sabrina could have passed for Frannie.

I did like that they immediately told Frannie, not hiding it for months, and that Sabrina didn’t get pregnant.

by Anonymousreply 282June 13, 2024 10:43 PM

I am the identical twins/lookalike cousins Eventually we leave the show and are replaced by two different actresses who look nothing alike.

by Anonymousreply 283June 13, 2024 10:47 PM

And a few years later Holden got shitfaced and knocked up his sister in law Julie, thinking he was fucking his true love, his niece Lily.

All of that incest in the Snyder family contaminated their gene pool, so the boys had bad eyesight.

by Anonymousreply 284June 13, 2024 10:47 PM

I was once the big star of a soap, but up and left the show.

I eventually took a job on another soap with much ballyhoo in the press, but no one gave a fuck about me or my character there

by Anonymousreply 285June 14, 2024 12:13 AM

[quote]I'm the former cast member of a soap opera who returns to play the ghost of my deceased character for several episodes during sweeps month.

And I'm the shocking realization that ghosts age in real time.

by Anonymousreply 286June 14, 2024 12:38 AM

R285 is Marcy Walker.

Jill Farren Cunts should be flogged for a long list of sins and stupid actions. Naming a character "Tangie" - short for "Tangerine" - is one of them.

by Anonymousreply 287June 14, 2024 12:50 AM

If this has already been mentioned, my apologies.

I am the name heard rarely, but show up on soaps frequently.







Jinx (and Minx)





I'm sure I'm forgetting many more.

by Anonymousreply 288June 14, 2024 12:57 AM

^ I think my personal favorite was Egypt. Who the fuck names a kid Egypt?

by Anonymousreply 289June 14, 2024 1:05 AM

Eygpt! Yes, loved her.

by Anonymousreply 290June 14, 2024 1:06 AM

I'm Trucker McKenzie, the hottest man to ever appear on any soap opera at any time in the entire history of soap operas.

by Anonymousreply 291June 14, 2024 1:07 AM

I'm the ambitious actor who prepares a complex background to better inhabit my character and asks the director "what's my motivation in this scene?" Not realizing they were just hired to look pretty.

by Anonymousreply 292June 14, 2024 3:54 AM

I'm the actors who play brothers, but have scorching sexual chemistry and/or are fucking behind the scenes.

by Anonymousreply 293June 14, 2024 3:56 AM

I'm Robin Scorpio, the only child soap opera character who was never SOARSED.

by Anonymousreply 294June 14, 2024 4:19 AM

Really, R294?

by Anonymousreply 295June 14, 2024 4:23 AM

I'm the old Hollywood star who can't handle the workload.

by Anonymousreply 296June 14, 2024 4:54 AM

I'm the repeated dialogue. The HW finds 4 different ways to say the same thing.

"Are you sure you want this divorce?"

"Are you having second thoughts about your marriage?"

"Having seen Brad again, do you want to try again?"

"You must have given this some thought...a divorce may not be the answer"


by Anonymousreply 297June 14, 2024 6:12 AM

R294 Heather Williams on Y&R was never SORASed. In fact, it's probably the reason the character wasn't played during the time they brought Steve Burton in to play Paul Williams' unknown cult baby son, Dylan McAvoy. Steve is and looks 10+ years older than the actress (Vail Bloom) who's been playing Heather; yet the retcon they were doing meant cult baby Dylan would have been Heather's younger brother, since he was born after her by a year or more. And since Heather aged normally this would have been odd. Now that he's no longer on the show, they've started playing her again.

by Anonymousreply 298June 14, 2024 6:18 AM

I'm the pub in a British soap. Stick around long enough and you'll be told to GET OUT! - you're banned !!

by Anonymousreply 299June 14, 2024 6:56 AM

R297 that wouldn't be the head writer, it would be a dialogue writer, one that does have to find 4 different ways over a week to say the same thing.

by Anonymousreply 300June 14, 2024 2:05 PM


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by Anonymousreply 301June 14, 2024 2:06 PM

On Emmerdale, Chas just told her own son, Aaron, to GET OUT of the Woolpack last week

by Anonymousreply 302June 14, 2024 9:07 PM

I'm the alien sci-fi storyline.

by Anonymousreply 303June 14, 2024 10:17 PM

I'm all the empty gin bottles and ratty wigs found when they cleaned out Ruth Warwick's dressing room.

by Anonymousreply 304June 14, 2024 10:20 PM

Ruth Warrick?

THAT bitch.

by Anonymousreply 305June 15, 2024 2:21 AM

I'm the two-time Emmy-winner from when I first started on the show. 10 years, I'm selling real estate in Encino.

by Anonymousreply 306June 15, 2024 11:34 AM

I'm the stud actor who once had a syndicated hit where I barely wore clothes, then parlayed that into a long time soap role only to get fired. Now I'm an escort, or for pay, will show up at your garage sale for $$$$.

by Anonymousreply 307June 15, 2024 1:58 PM

I won a Daytime Emmy in the Younger Actor category. .. No one remembers me and now the damn award itself is even defunct.

by Anonymousreply 308June 15, 2024 10:22 PM

I'm the opening photos/sketches of the most important characters, almost every soap copied Y&R after they did it.

by Anonymousreply 309June 16, 2024 12:59 AM

R309, God, I loved Sandy Dvore and his sketches.

by Anonymousreply 310June 16, 2024 1:53 AM

That’s oddly specific, R307.

by Anonymousreply 311June 16, 2024 2:33 AM

R310 Dvore ended up kind of peeved at Y&R and hired lawyers when the soap removed his name from the end credits, because (per him) he was supposed to continue receiving credit for the Y&R brush stroke logo that he created and is still used today. He also says he didn't receive a dime from any of the merchandise they sold with the logo on it when that became a thing. Finally, he tells the story of how he was nominated for a Daytime Emmy in 1984 for Outstanding Achievement in the Creative Technical Crafts - Graphic Design, but then was told he wouldn't be get the statue, because there were no other nominees.

by Anonymousreply 312June 16, 2024 6:31 AM

R307 who are you talking about?

by Anonymousreply 313June 16, 2024 4:09 PM

R312, I didn’t know any of that.

I emailed back and forth with him years ago. He wanted to sell me a piece for $500. I was so broke at the time that I declined. One of my biggest regrets.

by Anonymousreply 314June 16, 2024 8:15 PM

I'm FauxSilver's Lens Crafter glasses.

by Anonymousreply 315June 16, 2024 8:22 PM

R314 Dvore got kind of feisty in his old age, and he'd put posts on social media where he'd spout off. That's where I learned about each of those circumstances. I remember checking on the Daytime Emmy story, and it's totally true. He's listed as the lone nominee for the category in 1984, and yet there's no win.

by Anonymousreply 316June 16, 2024 8:27 PM

I'm the book at the start of AMC.

by Anonymousreply 317June 16, 2024 8:30 PM

[quote]I remember checking on the Daytime Emmy story, and it's totally true. He's listed as the lone nominee for the category in 1984, and yet there's no win.

Hell of a way to run an awards show.

by Anonymousreply 318June 16, 2024 9:17 PM

Why would the Academy even include that category in the final nominations if nobody could win?

by Anonymousreply 319June 16, 2024 9:19 PM

I'm one of three jailhouse thugs already in the town's dirty holding cell when the 18-year old kid from the soap's wealthy core family gets his juvenile delinquent ass tossed in here for doing something stupid. .. Oh, oh! .. Looks like 'Sweetcheeks' will be forced to spend the night in lockdown with us, if you get my drift.

Only one of us three has lines, however, and today, it's not me. All my script says is: "Leer at the boy's hot ass like it's the last bussy on the planet. Every time your jailhouse leader, "Bull," says something to the kid, lasciviously nod in agreement, then lick your lips and pinch your tit."

Who writes this porny shit?

by Anonymousreply 320June 16, 2024 10:26 PM

I'm the sassy female bar owner or lab assistant or boarding house owner. I dispense advice, shrug with a world weariness and shake my head over the stupidity of younger, front burner characters.

by Anonymousreply 321June 16, 2024 11:06 PM

Over in Port Charles, that would be Stella (owner of Jake's) and Ruby (former brothel madam cum boarding house landlord).

by Anonymousreply 322June 17, 2024 12:33 PM

I'm the gay actor who is never convincing as a straight leading man.

by Anonymousreply 323June 18, 2024 2:00 PM

I'm the diner.

by Anonymousreply 324June 18, 2024 2:02 PM

R323 - Just the one dear? Even the "straight" actors come off as gayer than goose. I could never believe Stuart Damon was married to a woman and had children, for example.

by Anonymousreply 325June 19, 2024 1:29 AM

I'm the car interior. You only see me when someone is going to crash.

by Anonymousreply 326June 19, 2024 1:30 AM

I'm the Metro Court. I have 5 Michelin stars and an amazing reputation despite being the location of several murders, kidnappings, hostage crises, bombings, and a favorite hangout for mobsters. Oh and the main restaurant only has about 6 tables.

by Anonymousreply 327June 19, 2024 1:33 AM
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