Anger & the Desire for Revenge

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

Either follow the advice of the optimists below me who will inevitably whine at you about positivity...or do lots of drugs like R1 suggests. Or throw away your life's comforts and earnestly seek revenge like a grown up.

In all seriousness, living well has consistently been the best revenge. There is no schadenfreude the matches of the feeling of knowing you're doing well when others wish you wouldn't.

Funnel this anger into exercise and living well, it's the best revenge.

Donald, is that you?

Do the rumors thing!

Just move on. They aren't worth the effort.

I know I hate seeing people I hate do well more than anything, omg. R3 has it right.

I agree with r6. Ruin her reputation all over town!

Take long walks daily. I kid you not. It works.

It’s not like a hard-hitting, fast-acting drug but the steady uplifts do accumulate.

[quote]like start rumors about them and ruin their reputation like they did mine etc.

Clearly, you're new to DL because those are sad excuses for revenge.

Find their social media and download pix of them. Go to Grindr, Tinder, and other sites and make accounts. Chat up several people.

Then, "accidentally" run across their accounts and let the fun begin as they try to explain the accounts to spouses and partners.

How old are they, do they have a weak spot, where are they vulnerable? What do they do for a living?

Do they have teenaged children? How badly do you want Revenge?

I have a "little practice" at revenge. Let me know!!

OP, I have someone I’ve felt that way about for a long time. Truly diabolical/sick individual. Did terrible things to me and to the charity I led.

At times I fantasized about doing something to them, but never did. I worried about unintended consequences. Like suicide, or maybe losing a job might result in their kid having to drop out of college. I didn’t want that on my conscience.

Meanwhile, said sick person’s life has not been going well.

But that shouldn’t matter. You have to work on letting it go.

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."

— attributed to Nelson Mandela.

I used to practice baneful magick, and it works. You can buy 2 small candles, one white and one black. You can print out a pic of them if you want, and carve their name on the black candle. Carve your name on the white and say out loud that the white candle is for your protection.

Light the black and say their name out loud and everything they did to you and your exactly what you hope will happen to them. Then light their pic on fire (if you have one) and let the candles burn out.

I did this to 2 cunts I worked with who made the workplace hell for me. One had a lot of psychological problems that led to a nervous breakdown, and one got bullied at work and by her roommates.

I've always secretly liked that radioactive particle sprayer thingy from Watchmen.

I have had various people in my life (some of them I considered to be friends) that made me feel close to what OP describes. My solution was to just cut out toxic people. Some I still have occasional contact with, mostly by text here and there, but our paths rarely, if ever, cross, and some of that is engineered by me. This used to bother me, as I feared missing out on social life and events. But now I just don't care. The downsides of being around them simply are outweighed by the positives of keeping them at arm's length, or further. I value not feeling irritated, slighted, bothered, etc.

Those type of people usually hang themselves. They get too confident. But sometimes it takes decades.

I've watched people I despise go to jail, become fugitives, get divorced, go bankrupt, become disabled, die...

Fran Lebowitz talks a lot about revenge and holding grudges. She sees no problem with it. She calls it "having standards." I felt a little better knowing she felt that way.

My advice: it's OK to want revenge and to hold grudges. Acting on it is another thing. No, you don't have to assist or be kind to people who have done you wrong. But to affirmatively plot and act, No. You'll cause trouble for your own self.

But sometimes I wish I could be r10.

Benzos.

OP, have you let Jesus in to your life?

R14 = Captain Howdy

Drugs and alcohol. That’s what will get you over it.

If you want revenge however, be prepared to wait. The best, most satisfying revenge only happens when the target has completely forgotten the original incident.

I kind of want to lay against R23's beard as his whisky-tinged breath tells me of his adventures of theft, gay sex and lawless vengeance in the old west

If they live close by, slash their tires, or set their porch furniture on fire. I've done both.

Put a curse on them. Even if you think it won’t work the act is releasing

"Wait by the river long enough and the body of your enemy will float by you."

I know what it feels like to want something bad to happen to an "enemy." I have two coworkers who have caused me stress. They both are overweight, in their 50s, look like shit, etc. I wish they would have health problems and call in sick.

Let it go or it will make you sick.

R29 speaks the truth. I held onto resentment and anger toward my parents for years as did my siblings. The result of this is this: Sister - Breast Cancer Me obesity and Breast cancer Brother - Obesity and MS. Brother - Obesity

Thankfully, I learned how to let it go with guided meditation and a therapist trained in EMDR. I'm no longer obese and my cancer has been in remission for 2 years. Now, my mom is dying and any anger I had toward her has lifted. I'm so thankful I let it go.

I had a horrible boss who was a crook. I wrote anonymous letters about him to his superiors. They never did anything but I did enjoy doing it. Revenge is a dish best served cold is good advice.

R31 people who have someone do what you did and then still stay in power is baffling. I know of a few people in prominent positions who were outed for misdeeds to higher ups and seemingly nothing was done. Pact with Satan or something?

Two revenge stories from two hetero women friends (both US citizens):

1. She was married to a guy from Australia who apparently never became a citizen while they were married. They got divorced. I forgot the reason why. Afterwards, she reported him to US Immigration. (I guess he was removable or deportable.)

2. She was dating a clean-cut, Ken doll-looking guy. Come to find out, he just decided he wasn't going to pay taxes (US income tax) for several years in a row. They broke up (I forgot why) and she reported him to the IRS (Internal Revenue Service).

I used to keep a mental list of folks who fucked me over at work. I wanted God or karma or a rabid Philly street rat to get those folks. One of them died - he was a horrible, hateful, cheating husband to a saint of a wife, and I was glad for his death.

There are 2 other folks on that list. I never forget the awfulness of those people, but I don't care what happens to them anymore.

The only person you're making unhappy is yourself. Isn't that a good enough reason to let it go?

OP, Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "YOU." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Karma always comes, sometimes it's fast other times comes very slow and sometimes the recipient is to dumb to realize it. Let it go....your angst is just hurting you. When people show you who they are sometimes we ignore it. Learn from this . It has made you a much wiser person.

r37 Karma is a fun fantasy

the evil people always succeed and they screw over the "good guys" many times over to get to the top. I've seen it many times.

There's a reason they say good guys finish last.

I have a few people I would like to fuck with coz they are fucking liars and just screwing people left and right...

Commute by auto to and from work, OP. Then you’ll be in the middle of thousands around you experiencing and feeling the very same on our lovely highways each weekday morning and evening. 🤷‍♂️

This is meant as genuine advice, OP.

Visit the Twitter feed of Milo Yannapopadopoulis or however you spell his name.

Behold a life of poverty and desperation, plastered over with tissue-thin lies of clinging to wealth and power.

See how his only contacts are future targets; how he schemes and plots and plans and then is discarded. How he lights up his keyboard with malice and hatred of those he perceives as having wronged him (even as he stabbed them in the back in the first place).

Watch this sexless donkey-toothed gremlin slouch in a hideous mansion where he squats at the allowance of its owner, see the fish-flops on his catshit-covered feet, behold the horror of purloined bar receipts for lavish $1,000 meals and actual meals of beans on toast.

This is where anger and the constant desire for revenge gets you. With a drug addiction, increasingly mental collapse, not a friend in the world and a reputation hovering somewhere between zero and shit.

Laugh at his stupidity and self-destructive behavior, realize he's not you, breath a sigh of relief and move on with your life.

I used to feel this way, OP. I wanted revenge on everybody I felt had slighted me, from people who had bullied me in school through to strangers in the supermarket I felt were rude. I was a walking, seething ball off toxicity. I whinged to everyone, and then wondered why I had barely any friends. There was so much anger and resentment in me. It took a massive falling out with a sibling that led to a 12 month estrangement between us for me to realise I needed help. My GP referred me to a psychiatrist who immediately diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Personality Disorder. 12 months of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy taught me how to regulate my emotions. I'd never been able to do that, I didn't have the skills. I still get annoyed with people, but I've learnt to just let shit go and focus on maintaining mental clarity. My favourite mantra now is "Not my circus, not my monkeys." Let life deal people the hand they deserve, and just do your best to live in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.

I know it all sounds very Pollyanna fucking Prisspot, but I'm in my 40s and life really is too short to hold on to so much bitterness. Release it, and stop allowing those people to take up space rent free in your head.

The only people who fucked me over were my parents. I was with them when they were dying of cancer. They during their lives were conscienceless narcissists who got stuck with a lemon of a son(gay) and they let me know it during their lives. I think they actually hated me on some level. They were only vulnerable at the end when all of a sudden a lot of what they did in their lives seemed to matter. Boy did I want to lay into them but I didn't. It would have been so sweet.

But it does stick in my craw and will for the rest of my life that I did not reproach them for their horrible behavior. I have to live with the consequences of what they did to me until I die and there is no choice in the matter. And I am not talking of letting go of anger, resentment and hatred. I am talking about them fucking me over materially when they were so generous with my sisters who lead upper middle class lives and I am perpetually on the edge of poverty and always will be. They were wealthy and promised me the world until they asked me if I was gay(I mean they always knew) and I said yes. They wanted me to lie and I didn't. So I literally had to pay for it. So you say why didn't you make it for yourself. Because they stuck me with such crushing self hatred and depression all I could do to survive was live hand to mouth. And live in basements and tiny section 8 housing.

Other than that I haven't had a problem with anyone including co-workers and friends. I have no ill will towards anyone and want no revenge except for them. And they're dead! So I'm fucked.

The best revenge is living well, OP. If that was posted above, it needs to be reiterated. Find a way to redirect your energy towards something that positively serves you. Revenge is for the petty and small minded.

R45 gets it. I cannot agree more.

R44: your post brought tears to my eyes. You are a hero!

Homophobia is evil and poison. And yeah, your parents truly sucked. Despite your immense suffering, you chose to let them pass without extracting your pound of flesh.

Who knows how much worse you might feel had you chosen to vent your hurt and anger ? I am inspired by your compassion.

[quote] Who knows how much worse you might feel had you chosen to vent your hurt and anger ? I am inspired by your compassion.

I'm not. They sound like a couple of cunts who deserved to be told exactly what they were. I don't for a second believe people actually feel better for having been a noble martyr, and r44 seems to be telling us all exactly that.

You do know those people you want revenge on have long since forgotten about you and are now out living their lives?

If there’s someone in your building you don’t like, leave a note under their door that says, “we can hear you masturbating.”

Concentrating on anger/revenge is a waste of a way to live your life.

Time passes so fuckin quickly; opportunities and youth are lost in the blink of an eye.

Those people aren't worth your time, which is limited. Going after them only makes you look like a loser, whereas if you instead concentrate on your life, work, happiness, & peace you not only look like a winner you've won.

These just sound like Sunday School Sermons, nothing particularly real or truthful. Just schoolmarms who want the world to be a sweet and loving place. It isn't, and if somebody wants to get petty revenge on some asshole, so be it. No you shouldn't waste your whole life on avenging some slight, but if it's not much trouble to you and some cunt gets to regret their cunting, well, great.

Anger and wanting to get revenge are normal human emotions. No, you shouldn't act on your desire to get revenge.

You also don't have to suffer in silence, either. If someone's treating me bad, I'm not remaining silent about it.

My advice: EVERYBODY gets angry, jealous, vengeful. If they say they don't, they're lying. Accept the emotions. You're human.

Of course you should act on it, you only live once, don't have any regrets

Don't you just wish you had that CEO assassin's number?

It was my entire political platform! Be like me, your favorite president!

The President of my former employer spent two years trying to get rid of me. Problem was I did my job well and they couldn't find a reason to fire me. So he started turning my co workers against me and suddenly nobody wanted to work with me. High school behavior but it worked. They upgraded my position and said I was no longer qualified and they terminated me and brought in someone more senior. But they gave me a big severance check and I didn't even need a lawyer. What happened to the President? He got fired two years later and now he's a 'consultant.'. Many of the people who turned against me suffered a similar fate. And I had nothing to do with any of it. I walked away smiling and let Karma take care of them.

R48, the problem is that narcissists will never allow you to have that catharsis. They will never take accountability and will twist it and turn it back on you and you'll just have to relive it all again. When monsters like that destroy your life, you can't get justice, you can rarely get revenge, you can't regain what was lost, you can (hopefully) just remove their power over you.

Call up their work place and say something like, "tell X to stop fucking my husband!"

[quote] narcissists will never allow you to have that catharsis.

You're not owned by "narcissists." You can have your own catharsis. Some people are never going to say "I'm sorry," but you can find your own way. Stop being such a martyr.

How do you deal with people who play the victim all the time and are users? Can't avoid coz I work with them

Gray or grey rock, R61.

Gray/grey rock is a life and sanity saver.

[quote]You're not owned by "narcissists." You can have your own catharsis. Some people are never going to say "I'm sorry," but you can find your own way. Stop being such a martyr.

You don't get my point, which is that confronting disordered people is not the answer because they do not operate like normal human beings. The point is you have to remove yourself from their orbit and create your own resolution. And I am not a martyr, and never was one. I am a fucking survivor, thank you very much.

I've had to go gray rock on a relative. Very interesting to then see them light up like a match when offering the extremely rare little piece of gossip.

When I was in high school a tall pretty blonde convinced her followers to target and torment various kids. A couple of years later her beloved and equally shitty brother died in a car wreck. She married a wealthy attorney who dumped her for a younger woman. Her obituary stated she was very proud of finally achieving sobriety and she died of cancer. Leave the bastards alone, karma does come for them.

Just kill those cunts in your heart. They are dead to you and have no value or meaning in your life. I don't do necessary evils-fuck that. Like that saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea" find other friends or like minded people that have your values. They're out there! Meditation can help too. I imagine a light at my toes and see it radiating up my body and shooting through me. You can remove those fucks from your thoughts and have a joyful life

Very hard to do if you have to deal with them, can't avoid

Watch She-Devil for inspiration and ideas. That's what I do.

🌹 R69

r69, please name some methods used in the film, thank you

Wait for them to die.

Don't work for Trump, Elonia.

r73 OP

well, what have you decided to do?

Don’t become a murderer

some pranks maybe...lol

And exactly what were your former friends saying about you that you thought untrue? I mean starting untrue rumors about a person ,, as an adult, is kind of 8th grade antics.

And if your firmer friends were on DL what would they say about you today?

It’s amazing how we always get the good people complaining about how they were treated. The bad people never post here.

"Resentment is like swallowing ppoison and expecting the other person to die from it." -- Anonymous

Don't let the evil people get away with hurting you...

They need to be taught a lesson, not to mess with you again ever!

Man up and beat the shit out of them for saying things about you that may or may not be true. But unliked either way,

Don’t be a another fucking pussy.

Rumor spreading? JHC don’t be that cunt.

Do it the smart way!!

The last handful of comments sound like a mentally ill person's "voices" urging him to be a dumbass.

[quote] The bad people never post here.

LOL. That would be telling. Next you'll be asking how I do card tricks.

I took the bull by the horns and I don’t regret it.

R84 well stated mentally healthy is coming to an adult forum making a stupid thread asking if it’s ok to start spreading rumors like some 6the grader might because your friends have dumbed you and you think it’s because of untrue rumors.

There is no good mental health on DL. There are threads like this. But “voices” that might not be universal?

Voodoo doll

Just take them out OP. Keep a list. And make sure you Google very specific questions about 'how to get away with murder' and 'the best ways to dispose of a corpse.' You gotta get this right.

Dig two holes.

[Quote]Voodoo doll

Mine was very successful this year.

how are you doing OP?

Ask Luigi

Forgive them all and move on . Holding this hate and anger is like holding a sword over their heads , but ultimately it will fall on you, You deserve better.

Start planning!

Do it, Get your revenge. Then be done with it knowing someone out there will want to get their revenge on you. Sleep tight cupcake!

You get your revenge, then twenty or thirty want to get their revenge on you. You'll never have a moment's safety. Sounds like poor planning.

I would think you're smart enough to do it so it doesn't get traced back to you.

R94 Nice sentiment but not the best aim

OP, for a long time I thought about abducting a former boss from her home, throwing her on the ground, inserting the spade of a shovel in her mouth and jumping on it. It’ll pass.

Try meditation. Seriously.

I was once obsessed with anger and revenge. But then I realized that winning was the best revenge and made me happy.

Try that some time if you possibly think you can you fucking losers .

When I had an abusive boss I sent anonymous letters to his boss. It did nothing but it was kind of fun. Then I focused on making my life better. My old boss eventually got fired but by then I didn’t even care anymore. Some colleagues are still obsessed and talk about him constantly. Time to move on.