Below Deck Med 03 June 2024

Is this the show with Kate from THE TRAITORS?

If so, I will start watching. She's fun!

Cute men, right?

What a shit show. Fucked up provisions, clueless third stew but the guys are hot. Aesha and her farts are getting tiresome. Sandy looks like she might be sober. So far. Those guests had every right to be pissed and if they want Mac n cheese at midnite then somebody had better make it for them. The chef seemed nice and calm until that idiot second stew pretty much threatened him. It was a miracle he was able to put out excellent food under the circumstances.

ugh, Sandy. You got me excited it was the version with hot Jason.

Joe is hot. I bet he has a nice bush too.

God, the yacht guests are so fucking annoying. I can't stomach people who live their lives in their phones.

The stew who can't do laundry is comedy gold!

The queen chef should be fired for not getting his ass out of bed and cooking for the guests, as irritating as they are. It's his job.

R5. Shandy takes the chefs side in the next episode. Shandy has had bad luck with chefs so she's not about to alienate him. Meanwhile, I never understand why they don't have chips, salsa and guac handy for emergency late night snacks. Or frozen Mac n cheese you can heat up in the microwave. The guests are usually so drunk they probably wouldn't notice the difference.

R6 Shandy once again proves what a shitty manager she is.

The woman who woke up the chef has clearly taken a down-by-the-airport Tony Robbins-esque type workshop or two…

R8 She's had some really bad plastic surgery, too. That definitely ain't her original jawline or mouth.

I'm loving the diva chef and at least he's skilled.

Just two episodes in and Shandy's already proving what a shitty people manager she is.

She immediately took the chef's side about being awakened in the middle of the night, then publicly berated the second stew for waking him up, when in reality, it was the chef who fucked up. The guests' preference sheet said they wanted late night snacks, so the chef should've prepared something for them before he went to sleep. And since he didn't do that, he should've gotten his ass up out of bed and made something for the guests. This was NOT the second stew's responsibility and Shandy, in her usual form, handled it ass backward.

The best part was when Shandy was on WWHL, she was reminded that she once woke up the chef to cut a freaking cucumber. She tried to excuse it by saying that, in that case, the chef was sleeping in the middle of the day, not the night. Yeah, fuck off, Shandy.

Deckhand Joe is so beautiful. I hope we get to see his naked butt at some point this season.

R12 If I have anything to say about, you will.

Has no one told the gap list guy Kate hasn’t been on the show for years?

R11 On WWHL, Andy asked Shandy if she regretted micromanaging chef Niko from a prior season. She snapped back with, "I didn't micromanage him. I managed him."

Bullshit, Shandy. You hovered over him, you criticized him endlessly, and you fired him mid-charter, but made him stay and cook for the guests and crew until the charter was over!

She's a phony piece of shit. I really hate her.

As annoying as those guests were they deserve a partial refund. No provisions, no late night snacks and their clothes were all over the place. A $15,000 tip was very generous under the circumstances.

It's pretty clear that Bri and Iain will both get canned. Elena said on WWHL that she's on OnlyFans. And, the chef! Oy. Episode 3 and the drama is already unfolding.

The chef's self-trained status certainly displayed itself in this latest episode.

R18. Notice how humble the chef suddenly became after the sponge cake debacle. He even finally apologized to Elaina. The food he served was embarrassing and why did he think serving cold eggs was a good idea.

R19 Granted, that cunt Gigi and her girlfriends did say they wanted breakfast at 8:30, then ended up straggling in an hour late.

Still, the chef should've waited until they were up to do the eggs.

I wonder if Chef Dave will come back after Jono gets fired. Dave and Sandy are buddies.

Gael and Bri were on WWHL tonite and both are dumb as a box of hair.

Iain has a very hot body. I wasn't expecting that.

R23 Iain is gorgeous...from the shoulders down. But that giant wide neck, that Jay Leno chin, and that forehead you could project an IMAX movie on...that's a face you need to put a bag over before you have sex with him.

Wow, that Ellie is a cunt with a capital "C."

She told Bri she didn't care if Bri liked Joe, and she even decided to punt on getting together with Joe after the group went out. She has a lot of nerve being a bitch to Bri because Bri got Joe's cock instead of her.

Ellie's problem is that she's used to getting all the attention. And to see the pudgy little girl get the most gorgeous guy on the yacht instead of herself infuriates her, so she takes her insecurity out on Bri. She said Bri was playing the victim, when it's Ellie who's playing the ultimate victim here.

Fuck that bitch.

Hey, Joe, ya wanna give it a go?

This is the way I like to see Joe.

Does Bravo come up with these lame yacht themes, like the stupid Greek toga wedding and the fashion show?

I mean, do guests really want to hang out with the crew? I'm glad it was an opportunity for us to see Joe shirtless, but the whole thing seemed so dumb, especially when that lantern-jawed blonde bitch came up at the end, desperately trying to audition for the model agents and falling over on her stupid stilettos.

And once again, Shandy proves she's a shitty manager.

When Bri was crying, Shandy just pulled out her standard corporate motivational poster speak, with lines like, "You'll be fine," and "You're so likeable!" Barf. She should have said, "Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help." I can understand Bri wanting to talk to Aesha about it, but Shandy should've done more and offered a lifeline.

Instead, she couldn't be bothered. "It's not my business," she said. Yet I guarantee if this affects the crew and the service suffers as a result, Shandy will be the first to blame Aesha for not being a good leader.

God, I hate Shandy.

I'm guessing the chef will be gone by the next charter. He actually seems like a nice guy but his food is either great or it sucks. There's no in between.

R30 He says he's self taught. What he needs to do is go to cooking school. Then he'd have the potential to be a really good chef.

He's lazy, I don't know any chef that wouldn't make eggs to order. Those eggs were sitting for an hour what a stupid ass.

[quote] On WWHL, Andy asked Shandy if she regretted micromanaging chef Niko from a prior season. She snapped back with, "I didn't micromanage him. I managed him."

[quote] Bullshit, Shandy. You hovered over him, you criticized him endlessly, and you fired him mid-charter, but made him stay and cook for the guests and crew until the charter was over!

That's because Kiko was too nice, and Shandy knew she could bully him (or guilt trip him) into staying.

He should have done was Chef Leon did to Captain Lee, and walked off the job immediately.

I love how Leon stood up to bully Kate and saw right through her bullshit. The guests raved about his food. Especially his beef cheeks. When he saw Lee was team Kate he left right in the middle of a charter. Yeah, he was a bit of an asshole but I give him credit for standing up for himself.

it's 2024.

Whatever happened to Eddie? It felt like they were grooming him yo be the captain eventually on the flagship show.

Eddie got fired because he asked for more money.

Supposedly, the cast gets paid shit, even though the show is a money maker for Bravo.

Eddie wanted higher pay, and the show said bye bye to him.

I've been shober for twenty nine yearsh!

R38 Not that time you tried to grab my tit.

[quote] Not that time you tried to grab my tit.

Fayshe it Malia, you're a leshbian!

Everyone knowsh it.

I just gave you what you wanted.

And shtop shaying that I'm drunk!

R40 "It wush taken out of context."

No, it wasn't, ya miserable cunt.

Bri is a dope but Ellie is fucking exhausting. Gael is gorgeous.

Jono and Iain will both be on WWHL tonite. Wonder if they both get fired in tonites episode.

Shandy spent the last two episodes publicly berating the deck crew, so she figured she had to make up for it this episode by letting Joe drive the boat.

I love the way Shandy thinks that's "people management."

It's like when you were a little kid and your grandpa let you set on is lap and put your hands on the steering wheel while he backed the car out of the driveway.

Since they show the new stew in coming attractions I wonder if Ellie, Brie or both get fired. I'm thinking it's both.

R45 I hope it's Ellie who gets fired. She's a lying cunt.

It has gotten so boring I can't finish a single episode.

Brie is dumb but Ellie is malicious

elli sleeps in her makeup!

'nuh said!

Possible firings: Iain, Jono, Bri and Ellie.

Jono won't get fired. He's improving.

My bet is that Shandy will fire Iain, mainly because he made Joe lead deckhand without consulting her first. Shandy doesn't like it when people make their own decisions.