Below Deck Med 03 June 2024

Is this the show with Kate from THE TRAITORS?

If so, I will start watching. She's fun!

Cute men, right?

What a shit show. Fucked up provisions, clueless third stew but the guys are hot. Aesha and her farts are getting tiresome. Sandy looks like she might be sober. So far. Those guests had every right to be pissed and if they want Mac n cheese at midnite then somebody had better make it for them. The chef seemed nice and calm until that idiot second stew pretty much threatened him. It was a miracle he was able to put out excellent food under the circumstances.

ugh, Sandy. You got me excited it was the version with hot Jason.

Joe is hot. I bet he has a nice bush too.

God, the yacht guests are so fucking annoying. I can't stomach people who live their lives in their phones.

The stew who can't do laundry is comedy gold!

The queen chef should be fired for not getting his ass out of bed and cooking for the guests, as irritating as they are. It's his job.

R5. Shandy takes the chefs side in the next episode. Shandy has had bad luck with chefs so she's not about to alienate him. Meanwhile, I never understand why they don't have chips, salsa and guac handy for emergency late night snacks. Or frozen Mac n cheese you can heat up in the microwave. The guests are usually so drunk they probably wouldn't notice the difference.

R6 Shandy once again proves what a shitty manager she is.

The woman who woke up the chef has clearly taken a down-by-the-airport Tony Robbins-esque type workshop or two…

R8 She's had some really bad plastic surgery, too. That definitely ain't her original jawline or mouth.

I'm loving the diva chef and at least he's skilled.

Just two episodes in and Shandy's already proving what a shitty people manager she is.

She immediately took the chef's side about being awakened in the middle of the night, then publicly berated the second stew for waking him up, when in reality, it was the chef who fucked up. The guests' preference sheet said they wanted late night snacks, so the chef should've prepared something for them before he went to sleep. And since he didn't do that, he should've gotten his ass up out of bed and made something for the guests. This was NOT the second stew's responsibility and Shandy, in her usual form, handled it ass backward.

The best part was when Shandy was on WWHL, she was reminded that she once woke up the chef to cut a freaking cucumber. She tried to excuse it by saying that, in that case, the chef was sleeping in the middle of the day, not the night. Yeah, fuck off, Shandy.

Deckhand Joe is so beautiful. I hope we get to see his naked butt at some point this season.

R12 If I have anything to say about, you will.

Has no one told the gap list guy Kate hasn’t been on the show for years?

R11 On WWHL, Andy asked Shandy if she regretted micromanaging chef Niko from a prior season. She snapped back with, "I didn't micromanage him. I managed him."

Bullshit, Shandy. You hovered over him, you criticized him endlessly, and you fired him mid-charter, but made him stay and cook for the guests and crew until the charter was over!

She's a phony piece of shit. I really hate her.

As annoying as those guests were they deserve a partial refund. No provisions, no late night snacks and their clothes were all over the place. A $15,000 tip was very generous under the circumstances.

It's pretty clear that Bri and Iain will both get canned. Elena said on WWHL that she's on OnlyFans. And, the chef! Oy. Episode 3 and the drama is already unfolding.

The chef's self-trained status certainly displayed itself in this latest episode.

R18. Notice how humble the chef suddenly became after the sponge cake debacle. He even finally apologized to Elaina. The food he served was embarrassing and why did he think serving cold eggs was a good idea.

R19 Granted, that cunt Gigi and her girlfriends did say they wanted breakfast at 8:30, then ended up straggling in an hour late.

Still, the chef should've waited until they were up to do the eggs.

I wonder if Chef Dave will come back after Jono gets fired. Dave and Sandy are buddies.

Gael and Bri were on WWHL tonite and both are dumb as a box of hair.

Iain has a very hot body. I wasn't expecting that.

R23 Iain is gorgeous...from the shoulders down. But that giant wide neck, that Jay Leno chin, and that forehead you could project an IMAX movie on...that's a face you need to put a bag over before you have sex with him.

Wow, that Ellie is a cunt with a capital "C."

She told Bri she didn't care if Bri liked Joe, and she even decided to punt on getting together with Joe after the group went out. She has a lot of nerve being a bitch to Bri because Bri got Joe's cock instead of her.

Ellie's problem is that she's used to getting all the attention. And to see the pudgy little girl get the most gorgeous guy on the yacht instead of herself infuriates her, so she takes her insecurity out on Bri. She said Bri was playing the victim, when it's Ellie who's playing the ultimate victim here.

Fuck that bitch.

Hey, Joe, ya wanna give it a go?

This is the way I like to see Joe.

Does Bravo come up with these lame yacht themes, like the stupid Greek toga wedding and the fashion show?

I mean, do guests really want to hang out with the crew? I'm glad it was an opportunity for us to see Joe shirtless, but the whole thing seemed so dumb, especially when that lantern-jawed blonde bitch came up at the end, desperately trying to audition for the model agents and falling over on her stupid stilettos.

And once again, Shandy proves she's a shitty manager.

When Bri was crying, Shandy just pulled out her standard corporate motivational poster speak, with lines like, "You'll be fine," and "You're so likeable!" Barf. She should have said, "Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help." I can understand Bri wanting to talk to Aesha about it, but Shandy should've done more and offered a lifeline.

Instead, she couldn't be bothered. "It's not my business," she said. Yet I guarantee if this affects the crew and the service suffers as a result, Shandy will be the first to blame Aesha for not being a good leader.

God, I hate Shandy.

I'm guessing the chef will be gone by the next charter. He actually seems like a nice guy but his food is either great or it sucks. There's no in between.

R30 He says he's self taught. What he needs to do is go to cooking school. Then he'd have the potential to be a really good chef.

He's lazy, I don't know any chef that wouldn't make eggs to order. Those eggs were sitting for an hour what a stupid ass.

[quote] On WWHL, Andy asked Shandy if she regretted micromanaging chef Niko from a prior season. She snapped back with, "I didn't micromanage him. I managed him."

[quote] Bullshit, Shandy. You hovered over him, you criticized him endlessly, and you fired him mid-charter, but made him stay and cook for the guests and crew until the charter was over!

That's because Kiko was too nice, and Shandy knew she could bully him (or guilt trip him) into staying.

He should have done was Chef Leon did to Captain Lee, and walked off the job immediately.

I love how Leon stood up to bully Kate and saw right through her bullshit. The guests raved about his food. Especially his beef cheeks. When he saw Lee was team Kate he left right in the middle of a charter. Yeah, he was a bit of an asshole but I give him credit for standing up for himself.

it's 2024.

Whatever happened to Eddie? It felt like they were grooming him yo be the captain eventually on the flagship show.

Eddie got fired because he asked for more money.

Supposedly, the cast gets paid shit, even though the show is a money maker for Bravo.

Eddie wanted higher pay, and the show said bye bye to him.

I've been shober for twenty nine yearsh!

R38 Not that time you tried to grab my tit.

[quote] Not that time you tried to grab my tit.

Fayshe it Malia, you're a leshbian!

Everyone knowsh it.

I just gave you what you wanted.

And shtop shaying that I'm drunk!

R40 "It wush taken out of context."

No, it wasn't, ya miserable cunt.

Bri is a dope but Ellie is fucking exhausting. Gael is gorgeous.

Jono and Iain will both be on WWHL tonite. Wonder if they both get fired in tonites episode.

Shandy spent the last two episodes publicly berating the deck crew, so she figured she had to make up for it this episode by letting Joe drive the boat.

I love the way Shandy thinks that's "people management."

It's like when you were a little kid and your grandpa let you set on is lap and put your hands on the steering wheel while he backed the car out of the driveway.

Since they show the new stew in coming attractions I wonder if Ellie, Brie or both get fired. I'm thinking it's both.

R45 I hope it's Ellie who gets fired. She's a lying cunt.

It has gotten so boring I can't finish a single episode.

Brie is dumb but Ellie is malicious

elli sleeps in her makeup!

'nuh said!

Possible firings: Iain, Jono, Bri and Ellie.

Jono won't get fired. He's improving.

My bet is that Shandy will fire Iain, mainly because he made Joe lead deckhand without consulting her first. Shandy doesn't like it when people make their own decisions.

Aside from the sponge cake, Jono has been doing better than ok. Every chef with the possible exception of Rachel and Adrian has had missteps. But he's on Sandy's radar and that's a dangerous place to be. He would be safe with any other captain.

With every episode that airs, I hate that cunt Ellie more and more. And on the latest episode when she tried to sabotage poor little chubby Bri, I wanted to strangle her.

True, Bri isn't the brightest bulb in the package, but she tries her best. Ellie's been a bitter bitch ever since Bri got to fuck Joe before she did.

I wish Shandy would fire her, but Shandy probably likes looking her fake tits.

Ellie and Joe making out in the van right behind Bri was awful. And Joe is a POS. Based on what Shandy said on WWHL last night I get the feeling Iain has a change in attitude and pulls himself together.

Yeah, I liked Joe until he did that to Brie.

Ellie is just a fucking cunt, so her behavior didn't surprise me at all.

Ellie and Gael will be on WWHL tonite. If Ellie isn't fired tonite I will be very disappointed.

On what planet is Bri fat? Jesus.

R57 She's not fat, but she's a bit chubby.

Next to Ellie the stick figure anyone would look fat.

Cap'n Shandy has such a thing for cute little female deck hands.

So the jacuzzi valve was left open and the boat lost hot water. Shandy rails Iain about it and threatens termination.

Then Gael goes to Shandy and confesses that she left the valve open and Shandy says, "Oh, it's fine. It was just a mistake. No big deal."

Clearly, Shandy gives a pass to female deck hands.

R60. Tell me about it

Damn, Iain's body looked hot as hell in that Speedo in the latest episode.

Too bad about his face.

So the mid-season trailer came out. A new stew is coming on, but it doesn't look like either Ellie or Bri is getting fired. The chef, however, appears to fuck up again, so he may be out.

And of course, Joe tries to fuck the new stew. He's hot, but he's a disgusting pig.

Sandy mentioned in an earlier episode that the boat normally has four stews and I can see why. Looks like Ellie and Bri will bond over their jealousy of the new girl. So far, it's a very dull season.

Joe! You can fuck me and no DRAMA!

In fact no conversation - that would be the preference.

On the first episode now. The chef is clearly gay. He's not bad looking either. I think he will be in trouble. Self taught? That's never a good sign. Granted, you can have amazing self taught chefs, but they often tend to make mistakes.

These stews don't seem very experienced. I have a feeling one of them won't make it.

R67 I mean one of them will probably get fired...

Promoting someone to lead deckhand already is way too soon. It will come back and bite him in the a**.

Lol at the boys reacting to that female deckhand not being single.

God, that last group of guests were a bunch of assholes. Trash pretending to be something they weren't.

I loved it when that fat bitch complained to Aesha that she didn't have the correct knife and Aesha politely slapped her ignorant ass down.

Aesha hit the nail on the head when she said, "These are the people who think they're high class. Where is the 'class' part?"

How can they be so unprofessional with the provisions? Delivery this late is not ok.

This motor yacht looks huge. Apparently it's bigger than motoryacht Home.

Still on the same first episode. They are all influencers. I recognize one of them. He's a gay youtuber.

Why did the stew wake up the chef? I thought that's something you never do? The stew should just make them a cheese sandwich or something.

you are like a month behind.

R74. Yup. Him and his very hot dad were on the TLC show about MILFs. One thing I'll say about those kids is they had every right to be pissed off about the provisions fuck up, the laundry fuck ups and the poor service yet they were pretty decent about it and managed to have a good time anyway.

yawn...

like this season.

Bri is way too green. She will either quit or get fired.

Why is the stew waking up the chef AGAIN? Is it really that difficult to make a grilled cheese sandwich? You never wake up the chef! And to do it twice?! WTF? And for her to say she is giving him a chance so he won't get in trouble. She is the one who will be in trouble ffs! I'm totally team chef.

Why is Aesha defending her? What she did was not cool. And to blame the chef?! Lol. The stews can easy make midnight snacks.

No. It's the chefs responsibility and there's another reason why he should have gotten his ass out of bed which you'll find out in episode 2.

Would the guy on the first episode shut the fuck up?

Shandy's dog died......sho shad.

R84 "Both my parents died when I was at sea, and my dog dying while I'm at sea brings back all those feelings."

I'm sure Shandy's parents would be THRILLED to know her dog dying reminds her of them dying.

On episode 3 now. I still think the stew from the Balkans handled the thing with the midnight snacks horribly, but I will say other than that she seems good at her job. I also appreciate her not yelling at the clueless and very green third stew. She guides her and teaches her instead. Good on her. At least she handles it well now, lets see if the third stew isn't learning fast enough or gets an attitude then that might change. Sometimes I think Aesha and the second stew are nice to her because she owns up to her mistakes and admits to being green. She doesn't have an attitide either, which helps.

R86 Oh, darlin'. You're gonna change your mind about Ellie the Cunt in a few more episode.

i swear they showed footage of cunt sabotaging the laundry a couple weeks ago.

I already had the dumb poster who feels the need to narrate old episodes from this season on block.

No one needed to sabotage Bri. She sabotaged herself.

The deck crew guys are really hot. Joe is a 10 and Nathan an 8.

On the 4th episode now. The chef is in trouble now after several mediocre meals. Knew the chef would get fired as soon as I heard "self taught".

Hey, r92, read the room.

R91. Iain's body is 10+. His face is -1.

R92: STOP. No one needs your fucking recaps. You type foreign.

Lol. I knew choosing a lead deckhand that early would be a bad idea.

Why are the stews making so much drama? What are they even fighting about? I forgot already. This is so stupid. It's like they're making drama on purpose, to get more screentime.

Ellie just seems like some random 40 year old waitress thrown into the show.

R98...who spent her life savings on bad chin and lip implants.

Ellie looks like she told her plastic surgeon 'give me the Stan Laurel Chin.'

R90 Exactly. I don't get the team Bri stans on here. Ellie is a bitch, but Brie is dumb. All her mistakes is because she is a crappy stew. She can't even do the laundry right ffs! We are more than halfway into the season and she still can't get the laundry right. They are BOTH in the wrong. Ellie could be nicer and less bossy while Bri could be better at doing the laundry, especially the crew and charter guests getting the right clothes.

Joe is a major asshole. The only crew member I really like is Jono. I keep waiting for someone to get fired.

That quick fuck in the bathroom was hot!

So in the mid season promo they show one of the guests from tonite being served raw seafood and it looks like Sandy blames Jono and she says she has to fire 'him' (assuming she does mean Jono). However, they made it clear tonite that Jono is aware that this guest cannot have raw seafood so I'm wondering if one of the crew gives her the wrong plate. Promos for these shows can be so deceiving.

Rain!

Bathroom quickie - "Lift that skirt up!"

Shandy's proposal plan.

Joe spooning Nathan on a jet ski......

Television has everything!

God, I can't take much more of Cap'n Shandy.

She berates Bri in the laundry room - "fix this!" - then goes to Aeasha and says, "I just want to help her."

Yeah, Shandy, that's really gonna help.

God, it was wonderful watching Ellie get humiliated on camera by Joe.

R106. I loathe Sandy but Bri has been given enough chances and she's still fucking up the laundry so I can't blame Sandy and, later, Aesha for being direct with her. She should have been replaced three charters ago. Sandy thinks she's helping her by giving her multiple chances that she doesn't deserve.

R108 I agree, but if Shandy thinks telling an employee to simply "fix it" is helping, she sure as hell is no people manager.

R109. Oh I agree 100% that Shandy has no business managing people but, well, here are. All I know is if I was Bri's manager she would be gone. Has anyone in BD history had this much trouble in laundry? Rocky had problems at first but got the hang of it quickly. Then she fucked Eddie in there.

Shandy should just let Bri steer the boat.

That's Shandy's answer for every employee she's trying to "help."

I guess I didn't realize how old Ellie looks. Shit, she better make that money while she still can.

This is one of the shows I dip in and out of, given you can easily miss a few episodes and not really miss anything.

Is the queeny chef still in it? As someone else said, it was annoying when the guests wanted food after he'd gone to bed and he refused to get up. Surely after hours cooking is part of the job description. Presumably someone on board is medically trained, so imagine if they refused to deal with a medical emergency because it happened when they were asleep.

I like Nathan.....Joe can go.....

Jono would have been gone last night if Shandy had had a chef to replace him. A cookie & ice cream for a 25th anniversary? Idiot!

Raw seafood for everyone.....oops!

Shandy is so incompetent.

So the guest tells Shandy she can't eat raw fish or it might kill her. Instead of taking the guest's plate and removing it, Shandy runs down and berates Jono for potentially "killing" a guest, then orders Aesha to go remove the guest's plate.

Then Shandy's left with egg on her face after posing as "tough Sandy," getting ready to fire Jono, but then having to backtrack and pretend she was just gonna reprimand him again because she couldn't get a replacement chef.

Two charters left and Shandy suddenly gets the bright idea to hire a fourth stew? And her excuse for not doing it before was because the front crew cabin had a leak?

Like it never occurred to her to get the leak fixed, ya know, during Charter Number One?

Those guests on the last charter were creepy. What was up with the guy with the yellow wig and super white dentures and his boy toy with the giant inflated lips?

Iain isn't the sharpest tool but I do like how he stays out of the drama. He was so excited to get his own cabin. Oh, Jono. I was really rooting for you but the raw food and the dessert inspired by Denny's is inexcusable.

I want more scenes of Ian in his little speedo.

I always wonder how much of these sorts of shows are spontaneous and how much is planned for entertainment purposes.

I think Below Deck is probably the most spontaneous because you can't plan shit like Ashton getting dragged into the water and almost losing his foot or getting caught in a storm. But the show does attract people like Ellie who create drama for attention in order to build up their social media following.

R115 Guest: "I can't eat this raw fish. It could kill me."

Shandy: "Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know" (walks away, leaving food that could kill guest in front of guest).

It's fun watching Ellie freak out over the new girl and Aesha is NOT having it! I'm convinced Bri is brain damaged.

Ellie sucks. Carrie seems to be great so far.

Below Deck's most famous cast member Bruno Duarte is now a power fisting bottom.

a gigs a gig

His latest streamer series is Below Sphincter

Carrie is fantastic. She's smart and works fast. The other two are dead weight and oh how I love watching Aesha firmly put Ellie in her place. Joe and his bro are pure trash. Iain has wisely laid low all season. Not great at his job but doesn't get involved in the drama.

I would love to see Kelley Johnson punch that, r126.

I'm convinced that:

Elena is a ringer and knows it.

Bri is a ringer and doesn't know it.

The leak in the other staff cabin was a manufactured "problem". Just now they got it all fixed? Come on. It was done to create this crazy interior drama.

Kelley!

ian was high as shit when they first went out. or drunk which means slamming on the boat before.

Just watched this week's episode....Ellie is so delusional.

I wonder which discount surgeon Ellie went to to get her chin implant.

She should sue them.

Why are DL people not commenting on Shandy’s wedding?

You mean Sandy’s PROPOSAL, R135?

We're all watching Monster. We'll get back to you.

This season was a dud. Although it was funny when Joe couldn't get it up. Sandy and her wife? I dunno. I see an ugly divorce in their future.

I still want to get fucked by Joe and Nathan.

Nathan looks like he doesn't wipe properly.

Nathan’s feet reek!

They have a “Never Been Seen” clip on Monday of Joe wailing on Nathan’s back, ass, and biceps. Grabbing Nathan’s biceps and acting like he wanted to literally take a bite out of Nathan. This was followed by a fake wedding proposal in their “talking head.” I think Joe was VERY attracted to Nathan and channeled his horniness for his buddy into these meaningless dalliances with the various gashes on-board.

Shandy's girlfriend didn't seem all that thrilled when Shandy proposed.

I give their marriage two years, tops.

God, it was excruciating watching the final episode. Every five minutes, it was Shandy saying, "I'm sho nervous!" or "Thish ish the most important moment of my life!" or "I'm shaking!"

Yes, Shandy, we get it, for fuck's sake!

It was so great seeing Ellie fall this season.

She saw being on the show as an opportunity for self-promotion, what with all the stupid outfits she'd wear before the crew went out and trying so, so hard to audition for that group of guests who were in the modeling biz.

But in the end, she just ended up being known as the bossy girl who wasn't all that great at her job and who got rejected by Joe.

Ha!

Didn’t Ellie appear on an earlier season? I do not want to see her back.

R146 She was in two episodes of Season 7 of Below Deck Med when Kyle was "injured" and she filled in for him.

Ellie doing her best to mea culpa her way through her awful behavior this season.

R148 Jesus Christ, that chin!