Zachary Quinto called out for rude restaurant behavior

I’m with the restaurant. It’s good to hold people accountable — even famous ones.

I completely believe he did this. He's such a smug, pretentious cunt bag.

R1, it’s their side of the story though. Zoomers are insufferable and incredibly delicate.

Are you saying that Quinto had a reason to yell at the restaurant staff? In most circles that's considered boorish behavior, r3.

[quote][R1], it’s their side of the story though.

Honey, it's social media, not the [italic]New York Times.[/italic]

I don’t like this restaurant trying to embarrass him nationally for clout. Perhaps he asked for it but don’t want to live in a world like this.

Let me tell you i learned the restaurant business, and i learned it the hard way.

If every once in a while one of those entitled customer-is-king shitheads ends up on some puplic pillory for taking it to far, i know some dead bitter waitress gets her wings in heaven.

I doubt any other celebrity is going to go there now.

Strange posting from a business. I don't see the upside really.

I agree with r1! Hold rude celebrities accountable in situations like this.

R6 is James Corden, pissed that he can't shout at someone over an omlet without getting publicly shamed.

Zachary may be an asshole, but I will give him credit for coming out of the closet at a time when there were very few gay male celebrities who were out.

[quote]Zoomers are insufferable and incredibly delicate.

They’re young, so that’s somewhat expected. I’m not sure what the middle aged man-baby’s excuse is for being a screeching histrionic, though. Arrested development?

R9 which is why he must have been extremely nasty for them to have posted this.

[Quote] Are you saying that Quinto had a reason to yell at the restaurant staff?

it's still THEIR account of what happened. Was he yelling, yelling?

They denied him a table, is that not “holding him accountable?” this is crazy!

Remember about a decade ago we had a few threads on DL where people reported that Quinto was known to be a very aggressive top?

R17 more like a controlling bottom

LA should open a restaurant that only caters to celebrity assholes who can yell and scream "Do you know who I am" at staff and anyone who'll listen, pout and stamp their little feet while onlookers laugh and take pictures. Call it "Chez Dickhead" and line the walls with photos of "difficult" celebrities in mid-meltdown all stained with various entrees that went flying across the room... "Oh, look, Faye Dunaway's picture covered in spaghetti"

It will be a hit 😉

This reminds me. I have a Facebook friend that is actually friends with Zachary Quinto’s ex, Miles McMillan. According to my Facebook friend, Zachary was emotionally abusive towards Miles while they were together, along with the fact that Zachary is selfish and possessive. This was back in 2020 when I was told this.

I know and understand that you’re supposed to take everything you read online with a grain of salt, but this is disappointing if true. I found Zachary really hot too.

In terms of treating restaurant staff, is Zachary Quinto the gay male Lauren Bacall now?

R20, Miles McMillan seems very passive, so I wouldn't be surprised if he got pushed around by Zachary. Miles is now doing OnlyFans with his boyfriend Trace Lehnhoff.

[quote] According to my Facebook friend, Zachary was emotionally abusive towards Miles

🙄

You forgot to add in something about grooming and “toxic” relationship, frau.

I was going to post how the Zoomers probably didn’t post the message - this is from the restaurant itself, its owners - but the poster who brought it up has a crazy obsession with Zoomers and blaming them for everything.

He must be very old and is upset he’s going to die soon.

R23 Hi Zachary! Die soon like your career?

Celebrity is a privilege. Being a cunt to hourly workers should be a disqualifier.

If they told him he was unwelcome after he had his tantrum then this post would be fine, but if they were nice to his face (even after being yelled at) and only waited till after he'd gone to post that, then it seems a bit pointless.

They shouldn't have to ask him to behave.

I was honestly surprised when I clicked into OP’s link and found that this petty social media nonsense was NOT posted by fave among DL epicures, HAGS.

R24 no I support the restaurant telling off Quinto. Especially since Americans know they have this kind of reputation when they are in Canada.

The person who I said is going to die soon is the one who is defending Quinto by saying Zoomers are weak.

Did you not understand that?

Are you autistic or something?

Klara is team Zachary.

r29 Settle down Beavis.

[QUOTE]Strange posting from a business. I don't see the upside really.

The wait staff don't have to worry about him coming back. Big upside, I'd think. Customers will keep coming.

Kind of tacky for Quinto to behave like an entitled asshole cunt.

R8 I think the restaurant will do just fine without celebrities there.

People want to start forgiving him.

Forgiveness isn't consequence free.

I don’t see what he did wrong.

Crazy of the restaurant to post that unprompted. He must have really caused a scene.

R33, why? That’s who he is.

People who treat waiters and anyone else in service horribly are usually horrible people,

BUT...

Would love to hear his side of the incident, however. Service in restaurants can be poor. It is frustrating that we must now rely on technology for everything. Was he at the bar when his table was ready. Couldn't the host send someone over to all him his table was ready? Oftentimes, restaurants act as if it is a privilege that we are eating there.

Again, there are two sides to every story. We're only getting one side. And it seems petty.

He seems exactly the type to do something like that. What a douche.

This was wonderful to see. Quinto is a huge asshole, just a horrible, horrible person. Totally thinks he's hot shit when he's nothing but a joke. But this is no surprise to anyone who knows him. Ugh.

Like it was his last brunch on earth. Its only a meal.

Dealing with idiots is a daily occurence in the restaurant biz. Take a deep breath and turn the page.

There is never an excuse to start yelling at servers. Classless behavior.

Even if a server makes a mistake you should handle it like a mature adult.

[quote]Especially since Americans know they have this kind of reputation when they are in Canada.

American here who has no clue what you are taking about. Explain?

People went feral after covid. It's disheartening. Call their asses out

I do not get behavior like this. Especially if you are a public figure. You know there are 300 phones just waiting to video you having a meltdown. Keep Calm and carry on you twat.

Where’s the video of Zach’s meltdown? I bet TMZ has something (maybe only audio) but I’m sure it’s psycho, like Christian Bale’s Terminator Salvation freakout.

Bad look for a celeb. He would have had to do something to solicit that kind of (albeit tacky) response. I'm with r48. Be chill in public. You never know how it may come back to bite you. And you will always be seen to be at fault whether you are or not because you are seen as privileged.

Bale’s meltdown was an Aspie meltdown. Completely different and probably very scary from a guy with his build.

An Aspie meltdown is distinguished by its ranting nature. They just go on and on and on and can’t stop. See also

[quote]Bale’s meltdown was an Aspie meltdown. Completely different and probably very scary from a guy with his build.

Hi Aspie troll, can you diagnose this photo?

R51 Never heard that Cruise audio before. Wow, the future of the movie industry rests on his shoulders? I guess he didn't remember The Mummy or Jack Reacher or Rock of Ages or Knight and Day or..... What an insufferable pompous ass! There's something really crass and sort of "white trashy" about his behavior in general. He is a good actor but that's a dime a dozen.

Found an article.

Why is Zachary so angry? Why is he such a cunt? Hasn't his life worked out well enough?

He looks hot in that photo, R54. I forgive him. 🙏

His wife has not worked out well enough.

[QUOTE]Was he at the bar when his table was ready. Couldn't the host send someone over to all him his table was ready?

You're presuming the host knew the name and face of a washed-up actor years after his fame? Why? And if the host had yelled "Mr.Quinto, your table is ready!," if he didn't know the face, how well would the touchy Zachary have behaved?

The fact is he got TWO texts alerting him about the availability of a table which he missed and decided to take *his own failure* out on the staff. And he wasn't denied a table as some poster upthread suggests.

He's just a useless, washed up tool unable to come to grips with his decline.

He IS Spock!

He was an asshole to Colton when they broke up, but Colton was still kind to him. I'm still shocked that he could even pull someone like Colton.

R53 it actually was. I think this was the first major film production to resume at the height of COVID. Hollywood was using it to see if films could be made with masking and distancing protocols in place. The keyword in Cruise’s rant was “insurance” because they needed to prove to the insurance companies that they could control the environment.

As with Bale’s tantrum, both actors weren’t “wrong.” You don’t unmask on a filmset if an outbreak would cause a production shutdown. You don’t walk onto a scene to fix lighting while the scene is being shot. But they just cannot stop. Most likely related to “thought looping” or “loop effect” (replaying the incident over and over in their head, making them madder)

Quinto is probably not an ND, you can see somebody’s home when he looks at you.

Report from Huffington Post

@r61...

You don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger

And you don't mess around with Jim

😂

Oh, I didn't realize the restaurant is in Toronto. Makes it even worse on his part. Ijeet. 😂

Your really going to piss off someone who is handling your food and drinks? Stupid. I’m sure he got something extra.

Quinto's a huge pissy bitchbaby cunt. I bet his new TV show won't last a whole season, because that sort of behavior won't fly these days with limited budgets and safe working environments.

Good for the restaurant. The high end places in Toronto don't play. They will fuck shit up if someone misbehaves.

^ That's because Canadians are polite and never misbehave

Ugh. What an overrated ham. His inclusion in any cast or show has been a deal-breaker for me ever since I made the mistake of seeing him in The Glass Menagerie on Broadway. He and Cherry Jones chewed every last bit of scenery, not to mention my every last nerve and myelin sheath. Just awful.

[quote] Why is Zachary so angry? Why is he such a cunt? Hasn't his life worked out well enough?

He was born without earlobes.

I’m sick of B list cunts acting like goddam fools. Also how weak do you have to be that you would let said cunt make you cry. It’s obvious he missed the texts and was also nowhere in sight. Canada doesn’t accept this public display of bad behavior. People in general are more polite and friendly. I don’t even think he’s that good of an actor.

Sidenote: notice all the comments wanting to know HIS side of the story. If this were some rapper or black actress they would be the DL villain of the day.

^ It's a genetic ear thing that runs in his family 😏

Hey, I resemble that remark. It wasn’t until my early 30s that someone mentioned “you have attached earlobes.” 🤷🏻‍♂️

No one ever brought it up in my family, even though all 5 kids were similar in that regard. It’s more common than you might think.

I thought he was killed when his car rolled over him????

[Quote] No one ever brought it up in my family, even though all 5 kids were similar in that regard. It’s more common than you might think.

Sure, I agree.

^ I know, right? Lizard people trying to pass are so lame 🙄

I’m 😵‍💫 watching you!

Sounds like a major A-hole.

This might explain why his career went nowhere after a promising start with the Star Trek movie. He must be difficult to worth with and got a bad reputation.

People are way too fucking tuned in to social media. Can we just get a grip ???? Every little thing dues not have to escalated into a verbal war????? People have too much time on their hands and too few brain cells

I cut everyone some slack, or try to. We all have our bad moments.

But in our worst moments, could most of us reduce wait staff to tears???

You have to be a huge, gaping asshole to accomplish that.

Love it. He is an overrated douche cunt.

Has his career gone straight down the shitter? Or is Ryan Murphy still providing?

Hasn't he always been known to be a bit of an asshole?

[quote] Quinto is probably not an ND, you can see somebody’s home when he looks at you.

Yeah, but when I look at him I also see Ed Gein-style human skin lampshades decorating that home. Dude has always struck me as about 30 seconds from snapping and going on a homicidal rampage.

Is he r56? I never thought he was attractive.

^ I do him in Spock make up 🤪

Re: Tom Cruise. That was a rant? Just normal, everyday $¢ientology conversation.

He seems like a jerk to me. Now there's some proof.

Imagine letting Jonathan Groff slip through your fingers.

[QUOTE]Re: Tom Cruise. That was a rant? Just normal, everyday $¢ientology conversation.

Not off the mark at all. The practice of vocal, in the face abuse of apostates or people who publicly disagree with them or the Scientology cult is called "bull baiting" and it is practiced unremittingly. There are a number of examples on YouTube.

I don’t even think Tom Cruise’s rant was that bad, perspective considered. Hollywood had been shut down for 2 years, and cunts want to ignore mandates. But yet these same cunts would cry when they are out of a fkin job. Sometimes you have to speak like that to basic cunts so that they can understand the importance of the message. He was not merely starring in that film, he produced it. It was his duty to enforce the mask mandate.

I like it, why shouldn't the restaurant stand up for themselves and their staff? Reputation is the most precious thing these celeb assholes have.

[Quote] But in our worst moments, could most of us reduce wait staff to tears?

A snowflake can be bought to tears with a mild reprimand

brought ^^^❄️❄️❄️❄️

Always thought he looked like an asshole

Heard from a friend that works on Broadway. He’s a total prick.

I never found him particularly warm. For the past 5 years, I sensed arrogance, a colossal ego, snobbery and smugness. I wouldn’t be surprised if he snubbed his fans, particularly the eldergays.

Very Lauren Bacall in behavior.

His portrayal of Harold, in “Boys from the Band”, was terrible.

She’s a lush and loves a dark room. Total abusive cunt, not too far off from his AHS:NYC character and wouldn’t be surprised if he did similar things

One of the responsibilities and best uses of fame is appreciating your impact and holding yourself to a higher standard when dealing w others. The post is pretty factual. He ignored their texts. He made a hostess cry. Consequently he has been banned. Why people are defending poor Jeremy is beyond me. Guess you’re all Trekkies.

To be fair - he had waited in line like everybody else. That's not 'celebrity behavior'. He missed the 2 texts - probably due to the noise and being in line. It happens.

Then they take his table away and he sees 2 open tables. I see his point.

Sounds like they left something out - the hostess tried to accomodate but then the manager said no, and she was in the middle.

Posting for clout.

He’s an asshole and a famewhore, but so is the restaurant.

R102 Nah B restaurants don’t do that. There is no doubt in my mind he wasn’t on site when his table was ready. And they probably gave him a good 15 mins. Also wtf does noise have to do with receiving a text on your phone. They would not post that unless he acted like a complete asshole whose response didn’t match any perceived inconvenience. I read so many stories on here that he is an asshole.

My cousin’s friend who is a stylist to ALL the BIGGEST names in emergency housekeeping services, says that Zachary experienced an unplanned, difficult, and time consuming defecation.

HOLD UP r105! Are you saying that Ms. Quinto just intentionally took a dump somewhere other than the bathroom?

There’s nothing unusual about a VIP behaving badly in a restaurant. A century of telling customers they are always right has empowered the worst kind of diners. That’s partly why every stressed out diner, who’s already angry because they couldn’t find parking nearby, feels entitled to transfer their hostility onto hosts, servers and bartenders – workers trying to do their jobs in stressful environments, where their income depends on tipping and subservience.

So, when I heard about actor Zachary Quinto allegedly yelling at staff at Manita in Toronto, I was not surprised. What’s less common is what followed – a restaurant publicizing the incident through social media.

“To all the other Zachary Quintos out there, on behalf of restaurant workers everywhere: We aren’t above criticism, but we are above being demeaned,” read Manita’s Instagram post about the incident.

This type of diner might see a busy restaurant and imagine the business is printing money, but every eatery is currently struggling with skyrocketing food and labour costs. They are fighting for profitability even while there is a perception that their menu is too expensive. Between 2019 to 2023, menu prices in Canada rose an average of 18.5 per cent, while the average cheque for full-service restaurants only grew by 12.7 per cent. So even if diners are paying more, revenue has failed to keep pace with increasing costs.

Every no-show is money out of restaurant pockets, regardless of how important the guest thinks they are.

Though banning Quinto has drawn international attention, Manita co-owner Ian McGrenaghan says he’s more concerned with drawing a red line for entitled, abusive behaviour from customers.

“I’d gladly trade all this publicity to ensure that none of my staff are reduced to tears by being yelled at,” McGrenaghan tells me.

Plenty of old-school restaurateurs believe they owe diners a hotelier’s discretion, that even the most reprehensible behaviour from guests deserves to be kept in confidence. Personally, I wish more felt comfortable informing troublemakers they shouldn’t come back. Too often, restaurateurs feel under the thumb of unpleasant diners who treat staff badly or leave spiteful online reviews.

I’d like to see retaliation like McGrenaghan’s more often, but understand why it can’t happen. Though anyone can legally post a hurtful and financially damaging restaurant review on Yelp or Google, a restaurant that publicly criticizes a customer exposes itself to a defamation suit.

It’s sad when these conflicts boil over because most customers are wonderful and appreciative. A small portion are monsters whose favourite part of dining is paying for the right to be cruel to service staff. But there’s a sizeable contingent who don’t know they’re behaving badly – the would-be Larry Davids.

1/2

2/2

Curb Your Enthusiasm character Larry David (played by the creator of the show of the same name) seems to find endless conflict in the rules enforced by restaurants and never considers that a server is not in a position to playfully argue with a wealthy, famous diner. Recently, while researching a piece about why the character hates restaurants, I catalogued 38 restaurants feuds from the show, and that was before I finished watching the last season.

The show has keenly identified common frustrations diners have, such as being told they can’t have a table that looks empty or be seated unless their whole party has arrived or pick up food from the pass because they think it’s theirs. I think these stories click with audiences because restaurant diners are divided between people who love to hate Larry, a puppet-show villain we can jeer as he treats employees with a rudeness we never would, and people who are just like him, those who subconsciously hold restaurants and their employees in contempt for daring to ever say no.

Here’s the reality check: When they text that our table is ready and you’ve got a 15-minute grace period, they mean it. Every time I write about restaurant economics, I hear from people who refuse to believe the numbers: the 74 per cent turnover rate of staff, the 3 to 5 per cent average profit margin. If that were true, the skeptics argue, why would anyone be in this business? These are the people who think nothing of making three reservations on a Saturday night and ghosting on two, or who speak rudely to servers when everything is not as they expect. These are the people who leave those spiteful one-star reviews. Whenever I hear from this cohort, the commonality is that, like Larry, they perceive restaurants are somehow cheating them.

Yes, McGrenaghan’s post about Quinto taps into our collective smugness of feeling morally superior to a poorly behaved celebrity. But it also sends the message to diners that spending money doesn’t buy them the privilege of demeaning people who serve them.

I was really pissed off when the guy from Balthazar rollled over and made nice with James Corden.

These actors get spoiled because restaurants in NYC and LA prioritize them above all other diners.

A friend and I were once waiting a long time for a table at Pastis in NYC when they got a call that a bunch of the cast of SNL was coming in. While overbooked, they said of course, and when our table became available, it was held for them and combined with a couple others. Just one small example.

They want the publicity and word of mouth so Meryl Streep could take a dump on the floor and they’d thank her for coming.

[quote] Nah B restaurants don’t do that. There is no doubt in my mind he wasn’t on site when his table was ready. And they probably gave him a good 15 mins. Also wtf does noise have to do with receiving a text on your phone. They would not post that unless he acted like a complete asshole whose response didn’t match any perceived inconvenience. I read so many stories on here that he is an asshole.—The-Tea-Cake-Diet

Did you get a discount on your meth this week for using more black vernacular than usual, junkie?

it's "pronounced vocabulary"

R24 THANK YOU. I can't believe it took 24 comments until someone called him out as a has-been. I wouldn't call him a "celebrity" (a current one) by any stretch of the imagination.

Menopausal meltdowns are a bitch.

Doesn't his own family find him intolerable?

I've always heard he's a self important, nasty cunt.

What Canadian behavior. An LA restaurant would never...

R107 Quinto not a VIP

I've heard for years that he's a first class cunt.

BTW he and Chris Pine totally hooked up during the first Star Trek movie. Then they had some kind of falling out and couldn't stand each other.

Faggot

There was a fucking fly in his plomeek soup while he was deep in the plak tow during pon farr. They’re just lucky he didn’t perform tal shaia on the waiting staff.

Quinto has always reminded me of Dennis Quaid (when Quaid was young).

Notable resemblance and I’ve always gotten a bit of a ping from Quaid.

They look nothing alike.

He doesn’t look a thing like Quaid to me.

So NOT Quinto. Yeesh.

Has anyone seen his new show?

His new show looks absurd.

It's like if The Good Doctor (about an autistic doctor) were on Heroes.

The premise makes no sense.

[quote]follows the work of Dr. Oliver Wolf (Quinto), a revolutionary, larger-than-life neurologist, and his team of interns as they explore the last great frontier — the human mind

Notice the use of "last great frontier" to try to create some artificial resonance among Trek fans who might tune in for Quinto.

ZQ definitely acted like an asshole, but made the host cry? Please, the host needs to put on his big boy pants and grow some balls.

That’s all very well r127 but does he present hole?

Quinto is really homely.

[quote]Perhaps he asked for it but don’t want to live in a world like this.

Toughen up, buttercup.

Why are we discussing unattractive people? What’s wrong with you bitches?

[quote]Zachary may be an asshole, but I will give him credit for coming out of the closet

And shortly after coming out, he gave an interview (I think to [italic]The Advocate[/italic] ) in which he blamed gay men for the AIDs crisis, specifically saying that gay men are too promiscuous and got what we deserved. Wrong in so many ways it's hard to know where to begin. Pretty much obliterated any cred he got for coming out, and made it impossible for me to watch him in any role.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

r133 that's not what he said. He talked about PREP not being 100% effective and people using it as an excuse to be promiscuous iirc.

He never said gay men deserved AIDS:

[quote]Quinto also calls for a return to fear-based prevention messaging that warns gay men that all sexual activity is tantamount to death. Quinto says, "AIDS has lost the edge of horror it possessed when it swept through the world in the '80s. Today's generation sees it more as something to live with and something to be much less fearful of. And that comes with a sense of, dare I say, laziness."

[quote]Also troubling about Quinto's interview are his troglodytic comments about pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, which has been shown to reduce HIV infection by up to 99 percent, if used properly. "We need to be really vigilant and open about the fact that these drugs are not to be taken to increase our ability to have recreational sex," he says. "There's an incredible underlying irresponsibility to that way of thinking ... and we don't yet know enough about this vein of medication to see where it'll take us down the line."

[quote]Very Lauren Bacall in behavior.

Is his favorite time of day NIGHT?

Thank you to R135 for digging that up. He said:

[quote]these drugs are not to be taken to increase our ability to have recreational sex

If that's not, as I wrote, " gay men are too promiscuous," then what is? Why should we — or anyone — take PrEP if not to have "recreational" sex? Talk about a loaded (no pun intended) statement; the language he used was right out of radical right wing talking points, and in case you missed that, what the radical right says is that sex is only justified between a man and a woman solely in an effort to procreate. Therefor, any sex between men specifically, but in any instance that will not produce a fetus, is "recreational."

In retrospect, I should have recognized that Quinto is a rightwing loon or at least parrots their talking points. Perhaps that his comments were made some time ago, certainly prior to the pandemic, allowed what he said next to slip by:

[quote] and we don't yet know enough about this vein of medication to see where it'll take us down the line.

As that was perhaps the loudest argument about the Covid vaccines, looking back on it causes MAGA/loon-alert bells to ring. To wit, when Quinto made these remarks (~2014 according to R135's link), we had about a decade's worth of experience with PrEP (although in many cases doctors didn't call it that, but were prescribing modern HIV meds prophylactically prior to official guidance) and tomes of research done at the highest levels (and by the biggest pharmaceutical companies because obviously there was a lot of money to be made selling pills that prevent seroconversion) which include [italic]long term effects and side-effects.[/italic] And now we have over two decades worth of experience that shows the long term effects of PrEP are literally nothing compared to the consequences of seroconversion.

So ultimately, R134, he said what he said. He shamed gay men for having sex. If you have learned nothing in the last 40 years, it is that shaming gay men for having sex does. not. work. And, in fact, it makes the problem worse; shaming leads to discretion if not outright lying and denial. Quinto is not stupid and should know better. But as we see from his emotional outburst at a restaurant, he does not know better.

What he said was that PREP is not a magic drug to prevent HIV infection and it shouldn't be used as an excuse to be a barebacking slut. Pretty reasonable advice, imho. You're reallyoverthinking things r137.

And we don't know what the long-term effects are. You're taking a handful of pills on a constant basis, that can't be good for your liver.

[quote]it shouldn't be used as an excuse to be a barebacking slut

Nope, no shaming there. None.

[quote]And we don't know what the long-term effects are.

Really? Have you done the research, R138? Point us to your studies — or any studies — that show the long-term effects of PrEP are worse than AIDs. We'll wait. Or, we won't have to wait because it's painfully obvious AIDs will kill you a long, long time before any side effects of PrEP will.

[quote]PREP is not a magic drug to prevent HIV infection

Magic has nothing to do with it. It's science, and yes, PrEP does prevent HIV infection.

[quote]You're taking a handful of pills

And here's where you prove you don't know what you're writing about, R138, leading me to wonder... are you Quinto?

No I'm not Quinto and god knows I've been a slut. I understand what he's saying, though. With sex come certain risks and PREP/condoms are not always 100% effective. PREP is not a magic pill that can totally eliminate HIV infection but believe me, lots of guys believe it does. I've had many conversations/arguments over the years.

Also, there are guys who take PREP constantly, several times a week. The long-term effects on the liver for taking those quantities of pills is a legitimate concern.

And of course PREP does not protect against other STDs.

Does anyone know someone who became poz despite using PREP?

If this was 1981 R137 would be admonishing Larry Kramer and calling him a self hating gay men for daring to suggest it might be worth a try to not have promiscuous sex for a bit until that pesky little disease goes away.

Apparently, Zachary can't be a slut. How can you fuck an iceberg?

Zachary always needs a shave. He's banal at best.

He lost that "fresh dewy quality".

No, R142, I was with Larry Kramer in 1981 (yes, I'm old) saying it was time to stop and think... when we didn't know what was causing it, how it was spread, or much of anything. Recall that in 1981 we thought it could be spread by mere touch and even breathing the same air, and as a result, gay men were turned away from hospitals and care facilities and told to go home (if they were lucky enough to have one) and die alone. But by the time we hit 1995 and the first drug cocktails came out, we knew how it spread and a whole lot more. By the early 2000s, HIV was no longer a death sentence and safe sex protocols changed. Even Larry Kramer acknowledged that.

It's very easy to sit here in 2024 and criticize the way that gay men handled the AIDs crisis. Gay men were abandoned and largely had to deal with this crisis ourselves, alone, with shame, discrimination, neglect that was criminal, and outright fear and loathing thrown at us by our government and fellow citizens. It is a waste of time for gay men to shame one another, and certainly counterproductive when someone of Quinto's stature injects speculation and blatantly false information into the conversation. Frankly, it says more about him, his stature and the privilege he enjoys than it does about the gay men he criticizes for having sex.

[quote]Quinto's stature injects speculation and blatantly false information into the conversation.

He was not spreading false information. He merely suggested that PREP is not foolproof and there's still a risk attached.

It's been mentioned here before that he's a regular poster. Kinda cool if I cared. He seems like a dick.

BEAT him…

It sounds like his new show is a House retread.

My mom liked it.

They should make a Karen's Diner, but specifically for celebrities. Call it Planet Hollyweird.

R146 why is it considered shameful to have promiscuous sex though? I dont believe that was ever said, either by LK or ZQ. That's something you're adding to the pot, not anyone else.

What others have said (and what Kramer was saying until his death) is that PREP shouldn't be a carte blanche to not still be careful and discerning of who you choose as a sexual partner, for your own safety. Because shitty things (HIV and otherwise) could still happen. How that translates to " He is a self hating gay who shames other gays" I still can't wrap my head around.

Furthermore, why are people acting like promiscuity hasn't been called into question in the straight community too? Is that "straight shaming" too?

[quote]What others have said (and what Kramer was saying until his death) is that PREP shouldn't be a carte blanche to not still be careful and discerning of who you choose as a sexual partner, for your own safety. Because shitty things (HIV and otherwise) could still happen. How that translates to " He is a self hating gay who shames other gays" I still can't wrap my head around.

Exactly

[quote]why is it considered shameful to have promiscuous sex though?

Oh, please. I don't have the time or resources to explain religious Puritanism to you. Go read some books, study the impact of religiosity on morals and behavior, and come back in a few years when you begin to grasp the grasp and influence of religion in general and specifically protestant Christianity.

[quote]I dont believe that was ever said, either by LK or ZQ. That's something you're adding to the pot, not anyone else.

I didn't bring Kramer into this discussion, that was R142. I just brought some reality into the conversation, at least as far as what Kramer said and did. Yes, Kramer did use shame. It was a different time and the world was happy to ignore a virus that targeted gay men. Drastic times call for drastic measures, and thank God we had men like Kramer willing to do what was required. Kramer was not a self-hating gay, and he didn't preach abstinence; he was a realist who spoke some hard truths to an audience that was enjoying sexual liberation unlike anything since perhaps the heady days of the Roman Empire, maybe ever.

As for Quinto, it is unquestionable that he shamed gay men. If you can't see that, you have more than reading comprehension issues. He didn't talk about discernment or being careful; he talked about gay men running around having promiscuous sex with abandon, and if you heard him speak, you could hear the condescension and derision in his voice. Look, he's a talented, handsome actor, but that's it. Just because he's gay does not give him the moral authority to tell other gay men how to live, particularly when you recognize that he lives in a privileged bubble from every perspective from career stability to financial position to social status. Hence, the derision here for his childish outburst at suffering a minor delay in being seated at a restaurant.

And that gets to the gist of what I'm saying about Quinto and what you and R154 can't wrap your heads around: PrEP is part of the bubble that privileged gay, mostly white, mostly professional men live in. To wit, you're sitting in front of a computer or holding a phone that is more costly than the housing that many gay men enjoy, and your monthly internet bill is more than they have to spend on just healthcare, let alone a daily pill regimen. You can't just walk into a pharmacy and buy PrEP over the counter; you can't get a doctor to write that prescription without an office visit, tests, and counseling, all of which is out of reach for a goodly portion of the audience you seek to tell that they should just find the right partner and settle down into monogamous bliss... or just not have sex.

No one is saying that sex between men isn't a minefield. No one is saying that gay men should have rampant unprotected sex. What I am saying is that shaming does. not. work. It didn't work despite Kramer's valiant effort; men still had unprotected sex and still transmitted HIV. It didn't work when ChiChi LaRue turned into a condom nazi and wrecked the gay porn industry. And it won't work when a famous white celebrity stands on his gilded soapbox and tries to blame gay men for a virus that had it impacted straights at the same rate and with the same outcomes, would have been stopped within a period of time measured in months rather than years if not decades.

[quote]And it won't work when a famous white celebrity stands on his gilded soapbox and tries to blame gay men for a virus

He said nothing of the sort.

[quote]Just because he's gay does not give him the moral authority to tell other gay men how to live,

Again, he said nothing of the sort.

[quote]To wit, you're sitting in front of a computer or holding a phone that is more costly than the housing that many gay men enjoy, and your monthly internet bill is more than they have to spend on just healthcare, let alone a daily pill regimen. You can't just walk into a pharmacy and buy PrEP over the counter; you can't get a doctor to write that prescription without an office visit, tests, and counseling, all of which is out of reach for a goodly portion of the audience you seek to tell that they should just find the right partner and settle down into monogamous bliss... or just not have sex.

PREP is covered by Medicare, dear. Poor people can get it. And nobody said anything about finding the right partner and settling down. Just saying to be careful and responsible when it comes to sexual encounters.

And god love you for thinking gay men with money and professional careers are all white. That's hilarious.

Face facts, R157. It'll do you a world of good.

Those are facts, r158

You keep saying "he said nothing of the sort" and I keep pointing you to exactly what he said. What you say he said and what he actually said are two different concepts. There is a reason that Quinto is derided, and it's not just because he acts like a child when confronted with reality. Hmm...

[quote]are all white

And there you go. I didn't say they were all white. I spoke the objective truth: there is a gay/white/professional/monied bubble. of which Quinto is a part, and trying to be spokesperson from on high.

What's interesting is that you want to argue peripheral issues when my point remains: shaming does. not. work.

Please continue, governor.

He's not trying to be a spokesperson, he's merely saying what many gay men say. Be responsible. If you choose to be a barebacking whore there could be consequences.

Quinto said:

[quote] "AIDS has lost the edge of horror it possessed when it swept through the world in the '80s. Today's generation sees it more as something to live with and something to be much less fearful of. And that comes with a sense of, dare I say, laziness."

This is absolutely true. Young gay men who didn't live through the AIDS crisis don't really see it as a huge threat. They're rather complacent. I don't know if you know any younger guys but so many of them are like this.

And PREP is covered by Medicare so your fantasy that only elite white gays can get it is total bullshit.

Poor people have Medicaid not Medicare

Sorry, I meant Medicaid. Yes, it covers PREP.

[quote]And PREP is covered by Medicare so your fantasy that only elite white gays can get it is total bullshit.

Yes, I'm sure that gay men can walk into their medicaid-provided doctor and ask to be put on an expensive drug regimen that, if the doctor follows protocol, requires a full blood panel and doctor's visit every 3 months. And setting the cost, the gay- and gay slut-shaming issues aside, let's not pretend that any doctor who sees Medicaid patients is willing to make the commitment to quadrupling his patient visits. Yes, technically, Medicaid covers PrEP. In actual practice, not so much.

To wit:

[quote]According to data from the CDC and AIDSVu, there are racial disparities in PrEP use in the United States, with white people being more likely to use PrEP than Black, Hispanic, and Latinx people:

[quote]In 2016, 68.7% of PrEP users were non-Hispanic white. In 2022, 64% of PrEP users were white. In 2016, 11.2% of PrEP users were African American. In 2022, 14% of PrEP users were Black. In 2016, 13.1% of PrEP users were Hispanic/Latinx. In 2022, 17% of PrEP users were Hispanic/Latinx. In 2016, 4.5% of PrEP users were Asian American.

So much for that theory.

He’s always looked like the kind of guy who farts and then watches people smell it and react.

[quote] He’s always looked like the kind of guy who farts and then watches people smell it and react.

Not to mention, he has a fart face himself.

R167- That applies to Jerry Seinfeld big time.

He always had a TOTAL fart face.

r165 PREP is covered by Medicaid. End of story. Medicaid pays for doctor's visits. Poor people can get PREP.

[quote]So much for that theory.

Sweetheart, nobody can be forced to visit the doctor. If they don't want to visit the doctor and be put on PREP, then that's on them. Stop making excuses.

[quote]And setting the cost, the gay- and gay slut-shaming issues aside, let's not pretend that any doctor who sees Medicaid patients is willing to make the commitment to quadrupling his patient visits. Yes, technically, Medicaid covers PrEP. In actual practice, not so much.

Wow, don't you just know everything! You're really good at making up shit.

Who said "forced," R170? Have [italic]you,[/italic] R171, ever dealt with Medicaid and doctors who accept Medicaid patients? I have in advocacy work (a long time ago) and separately in personal interactions when a friend was injured on the job, shafted by his employer, shafted by his private insurance, and eventually, shafted by Medicaid. His life was a saga of desperation since his injury. He's lost everything from his house, car, and most of his possessions, to his health and ability to simply enjoy life. I've been with him when his Medicaid-paid doctor told him the pain drugs he was taking that made his life bearable were no longer covered. I helped him get appointments and being told the waiting list just to see the doctor was 4 months, him making the appointment, and then the doctor's office calling a week in advance of the appointment to tell him that the doctor is no longer accepting Medicaid patients.

He eventually found a doctor that accepted Medicaid. He saw that doctor for about a year and a half. I drove him to an appointment. 20 minutes later he, using a cane, hobbled out to the car and burst into tears. Months earlier, this doctor had ordered hydrotherapy for his back injury to the tune of about $150 per visit (Medicaid's negotiated rate; the rack rate for those appointments was nearly $900) with it taking two sessions per week to have any effect. It was helping, and it was drug-free. In one of the many Medicaid cutbacks, they refused any further funding, but said that since it was essentially him sitting in a hot tub for 30 minutes twice a week, they would pay for a gym membership. He found a gym that had a hot tub, was accessible via public transport, and it was only $30 a month for the membership. Medicaid paid for it, saving them nearly $1200 a month; but then another round of cuts came through, some Republikkkan pointed out that Medicaid was paying for all these gym memberships and rhetorically positioned it as just a total waste, and that was cut, too. Despite everything, that was only the second time I'd seen him cry (the first was when he had to give up his dog because he couldn't afford dog food any more).

I started hearing from him less and less. I knew he'd turned to illegal drugs to cope, and he did okay for a while, but then I didn't hear from him and couldn't reach him as his phone was shut off. And then his mother called me to tell me he'd died from an overdose, saying it was accidental. I didn't believe it, and I don't think she did either.

Medicaid killed him for lack of care.

Don't tell me anyone can walk into a Medicaid doctor's office and they'll prescribe [italic]discretionary[/italic] drugs that cost over $1k per month, plus grant him an office visit every three months complete with at least $500 in lab work for each visit.

I'd say fuck off, R171, but that's too easy on you. May you have to use Medicaid for your healthcare.

r172 let me play the world's smallest violin. You've just described healthcare in general in the US. Private insurance is the same. The point is that PREP is covered by Medicaid. Poor people have access to it. Private insurance also gives people a huge hassle. It is what it is.

BTW, in New York State, PREP is covered by Medicaid and most health insurance plans without any co-pays for medicines, lab work or clinic visits. You can go back to your self-aggrandizing virtuousness now.

Quinto was right in his comments about younger gay men not realizing how serious HIV is. Nobody is slut shaming anybody, just saying you can't be a reckless barebacking party boy without having do deal with consequences that may arrive.

[quote] I have in advocacy work (a long time ago)

And here we go - Eldergays still thinking the world is the same as it was decades ago. "A long time ago" doesn't apply to right now.

r172 WTF does your friend's sob story have to do with gay guys getting PREP in the year 2024? YOU can fuck off.

PREP isn't magic.

[quote]WTF does your friend's sob story have to do with gay guys getting PREP in the year 2024?

I described the reality of being a Medicaid patient, and although my friend's saga unfolded over a 15-year-period between his accident in the late 90s and when he died in 2012, the system has not suddenly become the panacea that other posters paint the Medicaid system. PrEP is a discretionary drug that is still very, very expensive. I used the example of routine pain-management care that cost the Medicaid system about $1200 per month (in roughly 2005 dollars), highlighting the fact that he only had the coverage for a few months before Medicaid determined that it was too costly to continue despite the fact that it was working and working without drugs. And then politicians decided that $30 a month was frivolous, and cut that, too. Point blank, what's the difference between the system providing twice-weekly pain management hydrotherapy sessions at a cost of $1200 a month vs. PrEP at a cost of at least $1000 per month plus the burden of a doctor visit and a full lab panel every 3 months? And if Medicaid is going to then conclude that $30 a month is too much for essential care, what are they going to decide about a discretionary drug regimen that costs 40x as much?

The reality is that it's not like when you see a private physician. s/he writes a prescription and puts you on a quarterly visit schedule. It's painfully obvious that the posters saying Medicaid patients can go on PrEP are simply not aware of the system, the constant fight for coverage and care, and the daily threat of end-of-care when the political winds shift, when there's a crisis of any sort whether pandemic, geopolitical or personal to the patient, or simply when the doctor and/or their practice retire/close or conclude that Medicaid is too difficult to accept.

It's a nice idea that Medicaid covers PrEP, and there are Medicaid recipients who are happily on it. The reality is that Medicaid denies far more care than it grants, and every decision comes down to cost.

Sorry that an adult and comparative analysis was too difficult for you to follow, R175.

r177 PREP is given out my Medicaid every day. In NYC it's actually quite easy to get. Your friend's experience (god only knows how many years ago) is not what many other people go through.

Of course it's really just your raging hatred of "elite" white gays who for some reason you think only have access to PREP. Tons of other people do too.

And nobody is slut shaming. Just saying if you're going to be promiscuous there are risks and you'd better be careful.

[quote]I described the reality of being a Medicaid patient, and although my friend's saga unfolded over a 15-year-period between his accident in the late 90s and when he died in 2012, the system has not suddenly become the panacea that other posters paint the Medicaid system. PrEP is a discretionary drug that is still very, very expensive. I used the example of routine pain-management care that cost the Medicaid system about $1200 per month (in roughly 2005 dollars), highlighting the fact that he only had the coverage for a few months before Medicaid determined that it was too costly to continue despite the fact that it was working and working without drugs. And then politicians decided that $30 a month was frivolous, and cut that, too. Point blank, what's the difference between the system providing twice-weekly pain management hydrotherapy sessions at a cost of $1200 a month vs. PrEP at a cost of at least $1000 per month plus the burden of a doctor visit and a full lab panel every 3 months? And if Medicaid is going to then conclude that $30 a month is too much for essential care, what are they going to decide about a discretionary drug regimen that costs 40x as much?

Again, what does this sad story have to do with the topic? Sorry about your friend. But just because something horrible happened to him doesn't mean you can't get PREP through Medicaid.

I remember years ago, around the time he was making the third Star Trek film, I mentioned how I knew someone in NYC who was his server and said he was very rude, even correcting the way the server pronounced certain words in a condescending way. Of course DL rushed to his defense.

In New York State, PrEP is covered by Medicaid and most health insurance plans without any co-pays for medicines, lab work or clinic visits.

There's no going to the doctor repeatedly and lots of tests.

R178 idk how true all that is. Not the poster you’re replying to but I know someone who had to pay out of pocket for it.

I wonder how much sex Chris Pine and him had during the making of Star Trek.

I've always heard the name so I looked him up. A dog as far as I'm concerned. And don't fight with any of the staff until after you've finished eaten. That seems like the most obvious thing in the world.

The post says "Made our host cry..."

How much you want to bet the host was a Zoomer ? Anyone over 30 wouldn't be reduced to tears on something so stupid.