Princess Kalina of Bulgaria and her family in Sofia for the ceremonial burial of Tsar Ferdinand

So much to unpack in this photo.

Who are the vacationers in the background? Where is that woman’s nose? Did she give it to the other guy? Why are her arms like Schwarzenegger’s?

Yep - definitely the Sardonicus Branch of the European royal families. Also, those DARK ROOTS! YIKES!!!

His name is Simeon Hassan Muñoz

I’m not sure how the kid escaped his genetics; both of his parents were beaten unmercifully with an Ugly Stick!

I can’t explain her arms but I do know that she got some severe infection during dental surgery which spread into her jaw and nose. It’s not from bad cosmetic surgery.

r3 Dad looks like your average local bum you pass on your way to the grocery store. Hard life.

I feel pretty.

I looked at dozens of images of her and there was something off even before whatever happened to her nose. She was very badly put together in almost all of them and in many it looked like she was both badly put together and 20 years out of date. In some it might be partly attributable to her trying to convey a traditional Bulgarian aesthetic (even though she apparently grew up and lives elsewhere), but that doesn’t explain all of them. She seems batshit and I’m very disappointed that this is my first introduction to her. What have I been missing?

Are they his parents? Is it possible that a big nose gene crossed with a freaky small nose gene will produce a normal-size nose?

Was she in an accident? Too much coke?

Yikes! Looks like flesh eating disease to me. I would think a good plastic surgeon could make her nose more aesthetically pleasing. As it is it looks like much of the tip of her nose was just lopped off.

r9 The kid has a pretty high nose, so obviously her nose genes largely won out.

r2 Dark roots and brassy tones. Also look at the way they're cut at the bottom. I'm pretty sure this icon here does her own hair.

I think she's tremendous.

Gurl please! She needs to get them roots did.

Supposedly, the nose is a result of an infection from dental work. But there is not a lot of information. She also has a DUI. The combination of gym-honed arms + archaic title + trailer park hairstyle is fascinating.

What was the story with Charlene’s sinus infection? Did all the European royals tuck into the same bad batch of coke?

Yikes.

Is there anything more inbred than a European royal family?

I, too think she's tremendous!

She's not particularly inbred; her father is the usual mixture of German and Italian noble houses, with a little Orléanist French thrown in, and her mother's from the Spanish aristocracy.

The kid looks much younger than 16.

Her nose started its pull backwards a while ago. She's had so many different "looks" over the years. It's disconcerting.

She looks like Voldemort there R20

She's quite tipsy here. It looks like she's being held up and piloted by the husband. Are her teeth rotten?

She has had some interesting hairstyles.

Nose in distress, among other things. It looks like it's in an early to mid-stage of receding back/shrinking/atrophying or whatever TF process is going on.

Thanks, OP. I'd never heard of her. Now I'm in a rabbit hole.

Is Transylvania in Bulgaria?

This explains the arms. She’s a longtime fitness enthusiast.

wtf is happening with that woman’s face? Holy shit! I can’t walk out the door if I have a small zit on my nose. wtf is she doing?

And how can you kiss that face? How can you have a serious conversation with that face? I wouldn’t want to blow a load near that face.

And if she were my mom I wouldn’t let her pick me up from school or go anywhere near my school. I would tell people my mom died in a terrible accident, which isn’t that far off from the truth.

My entire morning is ruined.

Romania

Pre-PED arms. (performance enhancing drugs)

R28 - her boobs are significantly larger in r28's picture. Though it looks like she had the implants taken out from the looks of OP's picture

Why hasn't DL discussed Kalina before?! She's an icon.

I was gonna say she looks like she came out of Whoville, but R5 made me feel bad for wanting to say that.

[quote]Supposedly, the nose is a result of an infection from dental work.

How many teeth did she have in each nostril?

A BEFORE photo.

She became bearable during COVID.

Dysmorphia.

The wedding photo is from 2002. I understand the traditional Bulgarian cosplaying elements of her outfit, but the ultra thin eyebrows and limp, almost greasy looking hair are inconsistent with 2002 styles, aren’t they? The brows are early to mid-1990’s. Some of Eastern/Central Europe was still about a decade behind in 2002, but she didn’t grow up or live there. She was pretty, though.

The nose seems to have evolved over time. I hope a medical professional chimes in with an opinion on the dental infection story.

I doubt she's all that "Bulgarian" culturally. Her family wasn't allowed back into Bulgaria until she was 18. Her father worked for western European countries until then, and her mother is Spanish, as is her husband.

You can from that wedding pic that her teeth were jacked.

Are we sure it's not Carrot Top after more surgery?

I find stories about royals boring and skip over most especially the dulls British one but this gal is fascinating for her looks alone. Both of them are quite freakish looking and both have aged horribly.

here, honey, borrow some of mine.

In R11 she looks like Michael Jackson.

OK, tragic infection notwithstanding, there is no excuse for those roots. None. Don't leave the house. Not complicated.

She does R42 but she also reminds me of someone in an old painting. Maybe another royal from history.

R37. No. She was not pretty. Nope.

The yellow mascara at R25 is ... a choice.

[quote]The wedding photo is from 2002

Why is he carrying the flowers?

r42 Yeah, that's why I named my photo "MJ".

Is there a name for the condition where someone's nose and upper lip has an abnormal amount of space between them?

R47 - she looked loaded at r22. I think she needed assistance.

Is this what you're thinking of, R44?

Uh oh. She's on probation.

[italic]"In a legal verdict that has garnered significant attention, Princess Kalina Saxe-Coburg-Gotha of Bulgaria has been sentenced to eight months of probation for driving under the influence of alcohol. The ruling, handed down by the court in Samokov, also includes a fine of BGN 200 and a substantial payment of over BGN 17,000 to cover the damages incurred from the car accident she was involved in last summer, as reported by bTV".[/italic]

Gleaned from Reddit, so grain of salt. She may not have enough nose left to fix.

[quote]Princess Kalina's altered nose appearance stems from a series of health issues rather than cosmetic surgery mishaps. Initially, she experienced a seemingly minor injury that led to broken teeth from a fall. The dental repairs introduced a severe infection in her jaw, which required extended treatment and a complex operation to prevent further spread to other parts of her body. The lasting impact of this infection has notably affected the appearance of her nose.

[quote]Is there a name for the condition where someone's nose and upper lip has an abnormal amount of space between them?

It's FAS face, as in Fetal Alcohol Syndrome face. A big DL favourite, along with sanpaku eyes. Bernie Sanders also has it.

Archived story from the Telegraph that says her husband was an "adventurer and former elite commando fighter." I suppose that's the male version of an adventuress?

R4- The parents look like MONSTERS

It looks like the parents' ugly faces cancelled each other out.

I would drink too if I looked like that.

r52 Wait, she's a Saxe-Coburg-Gotha? So she's related to the British royals in some distant way?

And is her husband one of those Spanish Habsburgs? Would explain the nose and the chin. The kid should be thanking the gods above he got his mama's nose.

She's a Princess. She could wear a veil at all times.

[quote]The kid should be thanking the gods above he got his mama's nose

From the looks of things, she wasn't using it any longer.

I, too, think she's tremendous.

So the story is that she fell and damaged her teeth and then got an infection that destroyed her nose? That’s believable, especially if she was shit faced.

But I have another theory….

R59, her husband appears to be a commoner.

BULgaria! You mean VULgaria!

She looks like the strigoi from Guillermo del Toro's The Strain TV show. In Romanian mythology, the strigoi are troubled spirits that are said to have risen from the grave. Close enough, geographically.

Gets high and drunk.

Paint her green and she’d be a perfect Grinch!

I think it's just natural changes to the muscle.

R59 the Spanish Hapsburg are long gone. You mean Bourbons.

He does have the appearane of a Hapsburg

He’s not that bad…

She looks like a character from a Dune / Blade Runner / Mad Max crossover movie at r27, and I mean that as the highest compliment.

r70 & r71 HaBsburg, not HaPsburg. Carry on.

Two of her lesser-known titles: Defender of the Pig People and Princess of Pork

Daaaayum. I am also convinced she has a hair disorder. Alopeicia? (Sp?).

She seems to wear turbans a lot to hide her baldness. But the original photo it looks like her hair grew back in. WTF?

I think the most recent photo looks so disturbing. Part of the problem is that her cheeks and jaw skin are sagging dramatically around the sides of her reconstructed jaw/nose. It’s really sad, I feel bad for her. They are also both super weird.

The Princess has strong royal lineage that includes the Kings and Princes of Savoy, the Two Sicilies, Bourbon-Parma, and Maria Theresa, Holy Roman Empress and ruler of the Habsburg dominions. Yet it looks like she dyes her own hair from a box of Wella ColorCharm she picked up at Rite-Aid.

The kid is really cute, though.

R76. Like my mom always said, “in a pinch it will do.”

R73 alright, already …

Tvx

Unfortunate looking woman

R49 there is: it’s called Simian.

She is a cure for heterosexuality.

Hoo baby

She looks like she had cheap Mexican silicone injections that slipped and migrated .

[QUOTE]The kid is really cute, though.

I'm still wondering why he looks the 16/17.

^ younger than

Isn’t she the royal who got drunk, stole a car, then crashed it? I seems to remember something about her in the news recently.

Karma, y'all.

R5

Well, that sounds truly awful.

Looks like Janet Jackson.

R90, do you mean noseless La Toya?

^^ LaToya yes

Janet will reach LaToya territory eventually.