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Hooking up with Straight Guys

Some straight guy friends definitely seem hard up to cum, as their wives aren’t putting out anymore. There have been hints, but I’m scared to move too fast. What’s the best way to navigate this situation?

by Anonymousreply 120June 6, 2024 9:30 PM

How straight can they be if they hook up with other men?

by Anonymousreply 1May 28, 2024 7:32 PM

A question for the ages, R1, but simpletons like OP ask this question or its variations here on a weekly basis.

by Anonymousreply 2May 28, 2024 7:34 PM

Suppose you succeed with your seduction and he turns out to be a closeted psycho who beats you to death because he can’t come to terms with his sexuality? Then you’re fodder for Fox News at 10…

by Anonymousreply 3May 28, 2024 7:36 PM

Let's ask the Canadians.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 4May 28, 2024 7:38 PM

What’s more of a mystery than why these threads get posted, are the people who come in here to scream about how no man whoever touches another man could possibly be straight. Is it Fraus? It’s so bizarre the way people get so defensive about straight men who might have an interaction with a gay guy, but they would never start screaming that a gay guy who had hooked up with girls in his youth was actually straight or bi. It’s like they desperately have to protect the purity of straight men and not sully it with any gay nastiness. Bizarre & homophobic. People who want to think in black-and-white terms have expanded so much in the last few decades, must be all the Gen Z and millennials and all of their autism and other “neurodivergent” diagnoses.

by Anonymousreply 5May 28, 2024 7:54 PM

You know all those "Dear Abby" columns where the other woman gets involved with some married guy?

They apply to gay men as well.

by Anonymousreply 6May 28, 2024 7:55 PM

I don’t know what’s so hard to understand that there are some guys who have zero desire for any kind of romantic relationship with men, they like women and they want to be married to women and they wanna have sex with women, but they like to have sex with men sometimes because it feels good and it’s relieving. It’s only complicated if you hold onto a lot of outdated ideology that’s imprinted into your brain from society telling you what to think.

by Anonymousreply 7May 28, 2024 7:59 PM

I wish they'd wash their damn asses.

by Anonymousreply 8May 28, 2024 8:04 PM

"I don’t know what’s so hard to understand that there are some guys who have zero desire for any kind of romantic relationship with men, they like women and they want to be married to women and they wanna have sex with women, but they like to have sex with men sometimes because it feels good and it’s relieving."

Because said man is no longer straight, he is bisexual.

I'll give you some straight guys may be "curious." But if they try it and like it and then try it repeatedly, they're not straight, despite how much they or people like R7 want to believe they're straight.

by Anonymousreply 9May 28, 2024 8:13 PM

R9 so how do you feel about gay men who seem to be fully gay now, but had a lot of sex with girls in college etc and even married women and had children? Are those men bisexual? Because it seems that being gay is like this Scarlet letter that once you dip your toe in the pond, you can’t erase it. Just seems kind of homophobic.

by Anonymousreply 10May 28, 2024 8:16 PM

They are called closet cases, R10.

The only thing homophobic here is you, because you seem to think having sex with a "straight" guy is the gold medal of gay Olympia.

by Anonymousreply 11May 28, 2024 8:21 PM

OP, direct your energy to gay or bisexual men. You’ll be much happier.

by Anonymousreply 12May 28, 2024 8:22 PM

R11 not really. It’s absolutely more challenging than some prolapsed prep gangbang bottom. Life is short you got to try out different scenarios. You all should also do what works for you, like hanging out on random message boards and playing librarian scolds.

by Anonymousreply 13May 28, 2024 8:24 PM

They’re not straight, they’re gayer than I am.

by Anonymousreply 14May 28, 2024 8:39 PM

R13, I'm 72 years old. I've been out since I'm 19, so spare me your pompous bloviating about how one should behave.

In my time as an out gay man, I've seen hundreds of so-called "straight" guys twisting themselves into a pretzel in order to rationalize their sexual choices.

One of my first sexual experiences was in a tearoom in a public park. I hooked with a guy in a suit and tie who claimed he was straight. Turns out he had a wife and a young son, but he insisted he was 100% straight and just liked sexual experiences with men occasionally.

Fast forward four years, I run into this guy on the street in a completely different city a thousand miles away. He's now divorced from the wife, living with a man and his occupation at the time was drag queen. So much for being straight.

And he was only the tip of the iceberg.

by Anonymousreply 15May 28, 2024 8:41 PM

R5 nobody would insist that a guy who had few sexual encounters with men in his youth must be bisexual. But if he continues this in his mature age, than yes he is bisexual, no matter how he identifies himself.

by Anonymousreply 16May 28, 2024 10:54 PM

Teacake thread.

by Anonymousreply 17May 28, 2024 10:56 PM

I've had more men chase me (and catch me, depending on their hotness) that were married to women than I can remember (much less count). Partly because I'm obviously gay and must obviously look like a whore (a fact I don't dispute). At this point I'm just frankly bored with it now.

by Anonymousreply 18May 28, 2024 11:15 PM

R5 nice try. We all know that grown men who are partnered with women aren’t trying things out or experimenting. They know they like sex with men and possibly women, ergo they are bisexual or closeted.

Gay men like yourself try to throw around the word “homophobia “ because fucking a guy who calls himself straight feeds into your egotistical fantasies of being so irresistible that even a straight guy will fuck you.

Gay men have even admitted to putting bisexual or straight in their Grindr profiles because their phones blow up with offers.

Straight/bisexual=hotter than gay man, in many gay men’s minds. You’re the homophobe.

by Anonymousreply 19May 28, 2024 11:37 PM

r15 Nice exaggerated/fabricated story

by Anonymousreply 20May 28, 2024 11:58 PM

I think there is a space in this new world (which has 337 genders, 749 sexualities and 5,732+ different pronoun options) for men who want to date & marry women but fuck around with other men and call themselves “straight”. They fuck men and identify as straight, why can’t you respect their sexuality?

by Anonymousreply 21May 29, 2024 3:33 AM

The anger here is really that these “straight” men treat sex with other men as a compartmentalized activity, like golf, and refuse to assimilate into any gay/Queer culture. The queens who get worked up are just pissed that these typically masculine guys get to enjoy gay sex, which gays feel like they’ve fought for and been tortured about, seemingly without any negative consequences and while reaping the benefits of straight life. There is a desperate need to pull any masculine guy to the lowest common denominator and femme him out once he’s outed, it’s sort of a revenge plot by angry queens who were teased and outed constantly to compensate for their perceived adolescent grievances. It’s like they require every other man enjoying gay sex to go through some Scarlet Letter initiation, making vast stereotypes like assuming any man who fucks other men must be a huge flaming queen deep down and aspire to do drag. The behavior reminds me a lot of how women, and especially girls in school, reinforce homophobia by constantly calling a man’s masculinity into question. The gay is just perpetuating the homophobia that they’ve internalized. These “straight” guys have internalized homophobia too and probably live in their own kind of hell. Misery loves company.

by Anonymousreply 22May 29, 2024 3:51 AM

Oh get off your high horse. Calling a spade a spade isn’t “femming” anyone out. These oh-so-masculine straight guys you worship wouldn’t cross the street to spit on you if you were on fire.

Calling out the hypocrisy of grown men who engage in gay sex while claiming to be straight is being HONEST. It’s telling the truth. How you interpret that is your own homophobia.

by Anonymousreply 23May 29, 2024 4:31 AM

As I have said, boys are experimenting, men in certain environments where there are no women are getting it off with each other, but men who have access to women, who are even married or have a girlfriend and still search for sexual pleasure with each other are not straight, no matter how much they want to be.

by Anonymousreply 24May 29, 2024 5:49 AM

There needs to be a “Frau in Denial” thread. Post the Kinsey Report in the thread itself. Apparently, it’s still 1979 several places.

by Anonymousreply 25May 29, 2024 8:26 AM

Fock off, OP

They're hetero-MARRIED

Don't get involved you fucking moronic homewrecker. Someone will find out and firebomb your car

And you claim these guys are your "friends" but you must not be good enough friends to know their wives and have any respect for them.

And you certainly don't have any respect for yourself if you're cool with being "a last-choice hole" for married straight guys.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26May 29, 2024 9:13 AM

[quote]There needs to be a “Frau in Denial” thread. Post the Kinsey Report in the thread itself.

It's not necessarily denial, though, and even the odd frau will acknowledge that sexuality is a spectrum. In (antiquated but sometimes still useful) Kinsey language, we're talking about Kinsey 2s and 3s passing themselves off as Kinsey 0s and 1s. In other words: bi denial. As usual, there's some "bi erasure" going on in this thread.

by Anonymousreply 27May 29, 2024 10:30 AM

These posts are just delusional queens wishing to believe every straight man can be had.

by Anonymousreply 28May 29, 2024 10:42 AM

I regularly hook up with a "straight," married blue collar construction guy.

He and his wife don't have sex much anymore, and he comes over when he needs to get off. He told me I give a much better blow job than his wife does. For him, there's nothing emotional involved. He just likes the sex.

I would call him bisexual, although he would probably identify himself as straight.

by Anonymousreply 29May 29, 2024 11:07 AM

I'd say there's sexual orientation is pretty defined: gay, straight, bisexual. And then there's sexual identity, which can be different things over a lifetime now and evolves so constantly it's basically meaningless. It's well established there's a continuum of attraction to your sex and the opposite sex. A majority are probably situated on it such that they're bisexual. Whether or not they identify that way is another matter.

Last year, I had sex for the first time with a guy I've known for thirty years. Never had a clue there was any chance. I still don't know how his head works about it and us and him. But it was fun! If quite surprising.

by Anonymousreply 30May 29, 2024 11:22 AM

R25 you are a frau in denial. Nobody here is denying that sexuality is the spectrum and this is why these guys are called bisexual, because they are attracted to both sexes.

by Anonymousreply 31May 29, 2024 11:29 AM

R29 I would like to identify as youth, and sometimes I feel younger but it is not what other people think.

Just like your construction worker can claim to be be straight, but straight men would not hook up regularly with other men, because they give better blow jobs than the wife.

by Anonymousreply 32May 29, 2024 11:37 AM

Straight men do not have sex with other men. Stop chasing fantasies.

by Anonymousreply 33May 29, 2024 11:49 AM

Well the question is what makes you gay? Is it JUST a sexual act that makes us gay or is there more to it. If it’s JUST a sexual act, as many here are professing, then you aren’t gay until you have sex?

As a gay man I’d like to think it’s more than what I do sexually that makes me gay. What say you?

by Anonymousreply 34May 29, 2024 11:52 AM

Is being gay defined solely as a sexual act?

by Anonymousreply 35May 29, 2024 11:53 AM

[quote] Last year, I had sex for the first time with a guy I've known for thirty years. Never had a clue there was any chance. I still don't know how his head works about it and us and him. But it was fun! If quite surprising.

If you don't mind sharing, how did this come about? did he make the first move?

by Anonymousreply 36May 29, 2024 12:18 PM

Straight guys are so desperate to cum, they are lousy lays. Forget it

by Anonymousreply 37May 29, 2024 12:25 PM

R35- No it’s not just sexual attraction. It’s also emotional attraction.

by Anonymousreply 38May 29, 2024 12:45 PM

I consider myself completely gay yet in recent years I find myself attractive to trans guys with vaginas. I like the slim ones not muscular with tattoos. Does this mean I’m bisexual or still just gay?

by Anonymousreply 39May 29, 2024 12:47 PM

kinsey was a fraud quack

by Anonymousreply 40May 29, 2024 1:29 PM

R38 does that mean I can get my dick sucked by a guy with zero emotional attachment and still be str8?

Is Bisexualoty more than a sexual act or is THAT just sex?

by Anonymousreply 41May 29, 2024 1:35 PM

Homosexuality is a sexual attraction, romantic attraction, or sexual behavior between members of the same sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality is "an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions" exclusively to people of the same sex or gender.

Read it 3x.

by Anonymousreply 42May 29, 2024 2:04 PM

R42 what is sexual behavior? Can you explain that?

by Anonymousreply 43May 29, 2024 2:34 PM

R43 Sucking cock, fucking male ass, getting fucked by cock in the male ass, yada yada yada...

by Anonymousreply 44May 29, 2024 2:35 PM

So according to R42’s definition a straight man CAN doing something of a homosexual nature with another man but not be a DEFINED as a homosexual himself according to the definition of the orientation.

Thank you for clearing that up.

Just like singing a song doesn’t make me a singer and I have sung a lot of songs.

by Anonymousreply 45May 29, 2024 2:43 PM

R45 doesn't make you mute neither.

by Anonymousreply 46May 29, 2024 2:54 PM

This is my favorite ongoing fight on here. It will never be settled.

by Anonymousreply 47May 29, 2024 2:56 PM

I can paint 1000 pictures and not be an artist, or sing 1000 songs and not be a singer, but suck one cock…

by Anonymousreply 48May 29, 2024 3:00 PM

R48, I always heard it as "you can lay 1000 bricks and not be called a bricklayer..."

by Anonymousreply 49May 29, 2024 3:27 PM

I do massage and get a lot of the types of guys being discussed here. Most of them don't identify as straight. The ones who actually have sex with women and have families generally just say they're married or divorced. If anything they'll say bi.

Men who have sex with men and claim they're straight are a fantasy for gay men. It's a phenomenon that exists online on gay hookup apps or adult bookstores and other places where men meet for sex. It turns them on to say that or they know it turns other guys on so they do it to get laid.

The ones who do this primarily have sex with men.

by Anonymousreply 50May 29, 2024 3:28 PM

It’s just funny that the crowd who wants to play pretend with all the genders and other bullshit, can’t just give it to these people who wanna have some fantasy

by Anonymousreply 51May 29, 2024 3:30 PM

at least r51 didn't say "you people"

by Anonymousreply 52May 29, 2024 4:27 PM

Obviously you guys didn’t read R42 3x as he requested, because he cleared it all up. Homosexual acts do not equal Homosexual Orientation. So straight men can participate in homosexual acts without being homosexuals themselves. Period.

And in todays world homo sex has become a fetish that man of all orientations have come to enjoy, yet aren’t homosexuals themselves.

by Anonymousreply 53May 29, 2024 5:44 PM

No way! I will out any cocksuckers and buttfuckers who try to hide! I want to share the shame I experienced! How dare they think they can fudgepack with no consequences!!!

by Anonymousreply 54May 29, 2024 5:47 PM

Lol @ R31 who smells and thinks like Cheryl. I’m 63 and have been gay all those years. I long ago stopped counting the number of my sexual contacts who said they were het. I think you are one of the dumbest posters here. If you can’t read the Kinsey Report, then spend two weeks with a gay slut. You will quickly see how delusional you are. Any gay/bi man here has straight guy stories that easily refute your wishful thinking. Hell, go to www.squirt.org or any similar site and try to count the “straight curious guys.” Ever heard of The Baths? Glory Holes? Do you think all the porno women are lesbian/bisexuals? Lol & smh. You remind me of an animal who chews its own leg off to escape the trap. Pathetic and sad.

by Anonymousreply 55May 29, 2024 9:08 PM

[quote] I've been out since I'm 19, so spare me your pompous bloviating about how one should behave.

I always find it hilarious when out gay men try to use being out as a way to feel superior to closeted guys. The fact of the matter is no gay man is gonna turn down a hot guy or a guy they perceive to be hot because he's not out. That's why coming out is so overrated these days, especially because these "straight" guys have already figured you queens out. If you look hot you should have no problems getting a gay man to do sexual acts and that gay man won't have any moral hang-up over you being married to a woman or single and identifying as "straight"or whatever you identify as. Ironically, it's the "straight" guys who have a higher chance of getting into the gay man's pants than another gay man.

by Anonymousreply 56May 29, 2024 9:58 PM

Homophobic and heterosexist alert @ R54. On an alleged geigh site no less.

by Anonymousreply 57May 29, 2024 10:10 PM

R57 it’s parody take your Zillenial pharmaceuticals

by Anonymousreply 58May 29, 2024 10:12 PM

"That's why coming out is so overrated these days, especially because these "straight" guys have already figured you queens out"

You queens?

Fuck you and fuck the god damned high horse you rode in on.

Who's being all high and mighty now, cuntessa?

Most "straight" guys can't figure out their ass from a hole in the ground (which is why they're always insatiable bottoms who can't get enough dick).

by Anonymousreply 59May 29, 2024 10:23 PM

Take your amitriptyline and dothiepin, R58. All of it.

by Anonymousreply 60May 29, 2024 10:28 PM

I just like sucking the dicks of hot guys. It's fun. I don't need to know their "label."

by Anonymousreply 61May 29, 2024 10:36 PM

Thr truth hurts R59 and you really need therapy to address why you're so angry over things you cant control.

[quote]The anger here is really that these “straight” men treat sex with other men as a compartmentalized activity, like golf, and refuse to assimilate into any gay/Queer culture.

This quote is 100% correct and psychopaths like R59 are the living embodiment of it.

by Anonymousreply 62May 29, 2024 10:45 PM

Men like having their cocks sucked, it doesn't matter which sex or orientation delivers on it. You can't determine sexual orientation when the guy is aroused and cums.

In college, I gave several blow jobs to friends who I know were straight. I never expected reciprocation of any sort. I satisfied their primal needs and we remained friends thereafter.

It was easy to ask if I could touch their chest, then their stomach. They knew where I was heading. If they were uncomfortable, I would stop immediately. Most allowed me to continue. I think they were curious more than anything else. Plus, it was a blow job without expending any effort and with no attachment. Who wouldn't want that?

by Anonymousreply 63May 29, 2024 11:02 PM

Everyone (well, one Jane Ward at least) knows that straight men are having sex with each other:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 64May 29, 2024 11:08 PM

I knew a guy from my gay AA meeting a zillion years ago who used to go to a corner pub across the street from the steel mill to pick up straight men. He had a slight build but was still muscular, and masculine enough that no one suspected he was gay. I know that sometimes, if a guy was drunk enough, the pick-up was successful; but more often than not, he got the shit beat out of him. Once, he ended up in the hospital, he was beaten so badly. But he continued to try.

I know he loved the danger and the thrill of the chase was part of the allure. But AFAIK, all he'd do was give the guy oral.

He was a really sweet guy, originally from South Carolina. I hope he's still alive. I never found out what happened to most of those guys I knew back in the 80s...

by Anonymousreply 65May 29, 2024 11:19 PM

R65, your friend was a lot braver than me.

And a lot stupider too.

by Anonymousreply 66May 29, 2024 11:31 PM

Fantasy tinged with self-loathing

by Anonymousreply 67May 29, 2024 11:32 PM

I too went to an AA meeting (that was closer to my home) that was a dedicated men's group. I was nervous to go, and when I got there it was full of blue collar types, construction workers, etc., and several were really hot (and could have even done porn). I shouldn't have worried, since once I walked in, they couldn't have been nicer. They went out of their way to give me lots of attention, flirting with me, etc. Since I'm a small, delicate looking, completely obvious gay guy, I just assumed they acted like that because they probably haven't been around many gay guys, and just treated me like they would a woman. I don't think any of them were gay, but I have no doubt I could have had many of them if I pursued it (I didn't)

by Anonymousreply 68May 29, 2024 11:38 PM

The scariest ones are the ones who were molested and think they’d be 100% straight otherwise. Lunatics.

by Anonymousreply 69May 29, 2024 11:57 PM

I don't bother with so called STRAIGHT guys.

I've always been quite satisfied having sex with straight ACTING guys.

by Anonymousreply 70May 30, 2024 1:55 AM

[Quote] are the people who come in here to scream about how no man whoever touches another man could possibly be straight.

Well, how often do you, as a gay man, feel an urge to plunge your penis inside a woman’s vagina and ejaculate?

Why would you think that straights see gay sex any differently?

by Anonymousreply 71May 30, 2024 2:00 AM

This is a job for the Homosex Troll!

by Anonymousreply 72May 30, 2024 2:08 AM

Fraus on a gay site being overtly homophobic. Quelle surprise.

by Anonymousreply 73May 30, 2024 2:34 AM

There's something Aphrodisiacal about sucking a guy wearing a wedding ring

by Anonymousreply 74May 30, 2024 2:39 AM

Oh honey. You don't have any straight male friends hitting on you. You don't have any straight male friends. I doubt you even have friends.

The best way to navigate the situation is to stop being delusional.

by Anonymousreply 75May 30, 2024 3:04 AM

I used to buy into the old saw about "a mouth is a mouth" and assume that most straight guys simply want to get their rocks off. But then I thought about it (I know, thinking -what a concept) and realized that if a woman propositioned me, offering a free, no-strings blowjob I'd still say no. The thought of doing that with a woman is a total boner killer for me. I'm a Kinsey 6 (no surprise), gold-star gay. So as a 6 I understand that some men are 0s and feel about other men the way I feel about women.

Now about those 2s, 3s, and 4s,,, They exist. Does it really matter what we call them, or what they call themselves? The only labels that really matter to me are these: men I could have sex with, and men I couldn't have sex with. It doesn't matter if they say no to me or I say no to them -if they're in the latter group it's just NO.

by Anonymousreply 76May 30, 2024 5:36 AM

I hinted to it at above, but more and more I see straight guys who, through the proliferation and easy access of gay porn online, have begun to really fetishize Homosexual sex - homosexual acts have permeated straight porn with the very common Cuckolds or "Cucks" fantasy. There are many more men that fetishize being Cucked by another man than before now. They are not attracted to men, they don't secretly want to be with men, they are not turned on by a particular man. They are turned on by the submissive act itself.

If you are a straight male into submission, a woman will never use your the way another man can. And in their mind the humiliation is double fold to them because it is transgressive and gets them twice as excited.

by Anonymousreply 77May 30, 2024 6:12 AM

Sounds like "sissy hypno", R77

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 78May 30, 2024 6:14 AM

It doesn't matter what they "are", it's how they identify. And they usually identify as straight, both before and after we fuck around. To R65's point, it helps to be fit and know a thing or two about sports and whiskey. YMMV.

by Anonymousreply 79May 30, 2024 7:46 AM

[quote]Obviously you guys didn’t read [R42] 3x as he requested, because he cleared it all up. Homosexual acts do not equal Homosexual Orientation. So straight men can participate in homosexual acts without being homosexuals themselves. Period.

You may have read it, but you didn’t understand it.

by Anonymousreply 80May 30, 2024 9:24 AM

I guess I'm 81 replies too late, but I just wanted to say ...

This thread is not going to end well.

by Anonymousreply 81May 30, 2024 10:12 AM

I’m so glad we are FINALLY discussing this completely neglected topic!

by Anonymousreply 82May 30, 2024 11:03 AM

It will be another argument between people who are obsessed with straight guys and people who don’t understand how friction works.

by Anonymousreply 83May 30, 2024 11:06 AM

I hosted a dinner party where two of the gay guests speculated on the sexual preference of my physical therapist. The straight guests were bored by their patter.

by Anonymousreply 84May 30, 2024 11:07 AM

[quote] and realized that if a woman propositioned me, offering a free, no-strings blowjob I'd still say no

Exactly. No straight man well past the stage of experimentation is going to accept a blowjob from a man. A bisexual will. These men aren’t straight. Gays who deny it can’t handle truth or logic.

by Anonymousreply 85May 30, 2024 9:34 PM

"Gays who deny it can’t handle truth or logic."

Because it destroys the cozy little fantasy world these pathetic losers (see R7 above) that their cock sucking skills are so magnificent, so powerful, so tremendous they have the power to make straight men leave their wives for sex with a real man. Plus they obtain bragging rights the next time their out at the bars with their alkie friends about all the straight cock they're getting..

by Anonymousreply 86May 30, 2024 9:53 PM

A lot of men do seem to have a bizzare fixation with sexual fantasies and get quite irritated when the fantasy doesn’t line up with reality R86. This goes for both gay and straight.

by Anonymousreply 87May 30, 2024 9:59 PM

[Quote] it's how they identify


by Anonymousreply 88May 30, 2024 11:27 PM

[quote] But then I thought about it (I know, thinking -what a concept) and realized that if a woman propositioned me, offering a free, no-strings blowjob I'd still say no.

Gay men don’t have to accept women’s proposition for a blowjob because we can turn on our phones and get offers left and right. A man who is married and hasn’t had a blowjob in five years might be a different story. I have a buddy with a GORGEOUS cock and he says his wife never sucks him. Damn shame. So I do.

He’s not the first buddy of mine. In my years there have maybe been three. I never come straight out and ask. But when they start talking about their horrible sex life, at home or some woman they are cheating on their wives with, I open up the conversation, throw my hat in the ring. They always laugh it off at first. Always. But the idea stays with them and at some point way down the road they take me up on the offer.

And once they get over the hurdle of this being “gay shit” and experience how good the head is AND how easy it is to get with no drama, you can basically mark your calendar for their text message.

by Anonymousreply 89May 30, 2024 11:27 PM

Couldn't we just use the term "socially straight," and wouldn't that satisfy all sides?

by Anonymousreply 90May 30, 2024 11:31 PM

And the above buddy couldn’t be straighter because the things that get him hard and talks about, I have to put him on pause. He sniffs women’s dirty socks, and panties, sends me pics of women’s dirty feet in sandals on the subway. Talks about eating their sweaty assed and pussies and jacks off to it. I’m like, I’m good. He has zero attraction to men but loves my mouth in a pinch.

by Anonymousreply 91May 30, 2024 11:33 PM

So if a guy sticks his cock in a gloryhole and gets sucked off and cums but never sees the other person, what does that make him? I always say sexual identity is what you masturbate to.

by Anonymousreply 92May 30, 2024 11:36 PM

R91 he sounds like a sex addicted freak, rather than straight. Look out for his name on the news when bodies are eventually discovered in his basement….Not that your story of a married straight man who sniffs women’s panties but gets blowjobs from gay men is plausible.

by Anonymousreply 93May 31, 2024 12:29 AM

R89 a man who is straight would settle for boring missionary on saturday night or try to find some female side piece, at least some frumpy middle aged divorcee.

Imagine if you lived in some Swedish village where gay men are unavailable with a male partner who is selfish and lousy fuck and doesn't give no blow job. Would you accept offers from local "easy lay" women, who allegedly have the best skills in bed or stick with this partner you have until an opportunity to have sex with a guy comes.

by Anonymousreply 94May 31, 2024 8:05 AM

R91 as R93 said your guy seems like sex maniac, who would fuck anything.

And it has nothing to do with their wives being lousy in bed, because straight guy would look for other women. In bars and clubs, on work, on Tinder. Men like to chase. I suppose these "straight" guys are not repulsive, because otherwise you queens wouln't want them either.

Marlon Brando could have any woman he wanted but he still fucked guys, because he liked fucking guys and that is it.

by Anonymousreply 95May 31, 2024 8:19 AM

R39, you're fakegay, exgay, or bisexual. If you want to be having vaginal sex, how the hell are you gay? The church would say you are delivert - you are no longer a homosexual.

by Anonymousreply 96June 1, 2024 2:32 AM

I think there is just too much emphasis on labels. We are complicated beings falling in different places on many spectrums in life. Since most of them, including sexuality and gender, are social constructs with no biological basis or hard wiring so to speak, there will always be confusion. I have had sexual partners who are married, very much in love and attracted to their wives, who would never partner with a man, and just wants to get his rocks off - like when he was 14 and super horny and jerked off with his friends. What's the big deal? Women just don't have that kind of drive. With men their sex drive is primal - a guy would fuck a copy machine if it had a tight wet hole.

by Anonymousreply 97June 1, 2024 11:33 AM

R97 so you think that average DLer would throw occasinal fuck with a frau if he had possibility (and they do when they are not too old cause many women are curious about gay men) cause hole is a hole.

by Anonymousreply 98June 1, 2024 12:02 PM

I honestly think as kids grow up, there is still so much garbage thrown at men who are gay or men who want sex with men, that stigma continues to have a huge impact on what people can tell or admit to themselves. It's nowhere nearly as bad as it was for kids born before 2000, but it's still pretty prevalent. Very few people actually want to be different, very few want to be mocked. Not arguing that percentage of gay men is much, much higher than estimated, but I think the number is still wide of the mark because so many guys just can't get comfortable with themselves.

by Anonymousreply 99June 1, 2024 1:07 PM

My take on this base on my lived experience: Men reach sexual arousal quicker than women and, in general, are more capable of casual sex without a negative impact on their self-image. In fact, men engaging in sex with many partners may have an enhanced self-image, whereas, societally speaking, women are still shamed and denigrated for being promiscuous. Women are likely to feel used if they give a man a blowjob without anything in return or without the commitment of a relationship. Some women enjoy sucking cock and are good at it. However, many women don't even enjoy sucking dick and only do it because men demand it or want it. They see it as a chore because they cannot relate to it and don't really want to do it. Conversely, many gay men are happy to blow a guy and find it gratifying in and of itself. It is an uncomplicated that gives equal pleasure to the gay man on his knees and the man getting head. You are out the door shortly after blowing your load and everyone is happy. As a man, would you want to live your life never getting sucked off? For some that's acceptable, for many of us it isn't.

Now to the question of the sexual identity of men who have sex with men but don't identify as gay or bisexual. The reasonable thought is you have to be bi or if you don't allow for the possibility of bisexuality in men, a closeted gay man to enjoy any kind of sexual contact with another man. The reasonable argument is made that most gay men are repulsed by the thought of having sex with a woman and would not engage in heterosexual sex under any circumstances. Get that, wouldn't argue it . In my case, my earliest sexual thoughts were about women, I wanted to fuck women and did not fantasize about men. In my early adolescence, I experienced casual sex, (jerking off and then head) with other boys within my age range. We did this out of curiosity and because we didn't have any other options. In my teenage years, sex with women became something that happened only after lots of talking, dating and spending money. I began to find out that I was attractive to other guys my age and that they were willing to engage in sexual behaviour without any of that ritual. I found I enjoyed it and had no trouble getting hard for a guy who wanted to suck me off. I didn't feel or wasn't aware of any homophobic thoughts this was the late 70s early 80s and grew up outside NYC.

All this is to say, I think I learned to be bisexual and began to incorporate men into my sexual life. I started to find men attractive and enjoyed mutual head, kissing etc but never wanted a male partner. I've fucked men but don't have a desire to be fucked though I did try once, I just couldn't get into it.

I realize some people will react negatively to what I am saying because of the idea that you could "learn" to be sexually attracted to a gender they were previously unaware of an attraction to. I get the political ramifications of that. You could argue that I was always gay or bi and learned my attraction to women to belong or visa versa but this is what my 'lived experience" (as the kids say) has been.

I wouldn't want it any other way. I've enjoyed my sex life. I am an educated guy and I know that this seems like a tall tale to many but to those that identify, I am putting this out there so you know you are not alone

by Anonymousreply 100June 1, 2024 2:33 PM

R98 That question will always be skipped over and avoided because they know that they wouldn't have sex with a woman and would just jerk off if no men were available, but to acknowledge the same scenario applies for straight men would puncture their fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 101June 1, 2024 2:48 PM

"would just jerk off as no men were available," surely?

by Anonymousreply 102June 1, 2024 4:43 PM

A lot of dlers are very, if you’ll excuse the term, “binary” in their thinking. Like the many posters who insist that a black actor playing a white character is exactly the same thing as a white actor playing a black character. Or as in this thread, a straight guy getting head from another man is exactly the same thing as a gay guy getting head from a woman. Society and human sexuality just aren't that tidy. A lot of straight men have gay sex as adolescents, but a lot of gay men go through life without ever having sex with a female, my point being that homo- and heterosexuality aren’t “opposites.”

by Anonymousreply 103June 2, 2024 8:53 PM

R103 the contrary is true too, many gay men try having relationships with women when young cause it's the norm, many have children too. While there are many straight guys who have never touched a guy and find gay sex a taboo.

by Anonymousreply 104June 2, 2024 9:55 PM

[quote]What’s the best way to navigate this situation?

Get better friends?

by Anonymousreply 105June 2, 2024 10:06 PM

R103 TL;DR: Stop ruining my “straight” bro fantasy! Guys who get sucked off by other guys aren’t bi!!

by Anonymousreply 106June 2, 2024 10:09 PM

No use arguing about it, is there, really?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 107June 2, 2024 10:23 PM

R98 getting sex from men is SUPER easy compared to getting sex from a woman. If you can’t find a guy to have sex with as a gay man, you’re just unfuckable all the way around. Now there are several more straight men than gay who go months and months without sex with a woman. There are some guys who go years without head. Gratifying sex for straight men has many more hurdles to achieve.

No joke, I had a straight married girlfriend who over dinner said I could suck her husband off because she just didn’t want to do it. We all laughed. He wasn’t my type, but boy did I feel bad for him if it’s come to that.

by Anonymousreply 108June 3, 2024 1:37 AM

She’s obviously okay with an open relationship, as are most gay men. Doesn’t sound tragic at all.

by Anonymousreply 109June 3, 2024 1:43 AM

R109 I think the joke was she didn’t care who did it as long as she didn’t have to do it. This is the state most married guys are living in.

by Anonymousreply 110June 3, 2024 2:35 AM

I just came up with the solution to this age old DL dilemma. Yes, a straight man wouldn’t have sex with another man. But as we are seeing now is that there are far fewer straight men in the world than we suspect. Most human males are straight by this definition. There are probably just as many straight men as gay men.

by Anonymousreply 111June 3, 2024 11:16 PM

Truly heterosexual men having sex with gay men is a paradox.

by Anonymousreply 112June 4, 2024 1:31 AM

Yeah, I don’t think they’re going to like this. This lifestyle isn’t for everyone. It is a choice after all!

by Anonymousreply 113June 4, 2024 1:59 AM

Unfortunately not recently, but I have had a lot of steam room jerking kind of situations where I am sure the other guy wasn’t necessarily gay nor even bi. I think there’s a middle ground where fooling around isn’t considered sex and some straight men are up for that.

by Anonymousreply 114June 4, 2024 3:31 AM

[quote]R63 I think they were curious more than anything else. Plus, it was a blow job without expending any effort and with no attachment. Who wouldn't want that?

So, you’d accept no strings blow jobs from women who offered?

by Anonymousreply 115June 4, 2024 6:16 AM

^ If I hadn't had a blowjob and three years, I was drunk and she offered to give one while I got to watch gay porn - maybe.

by Anonymousreply 116June 4, 2024 7:30 AM

Rule #1: Always reconfirm to said straight guy that he is, indeed, straight while he's on all fours, ass up in the air.

by Anonymousreply 117June 4, 2024 7:43 AM

No straight woman is going to give a guy a blowjob without wanting something in return.

by Anonymousreply 118June 5, 2024 1:48 AM

^ a washer and dryer set.

by Anonymousreply 119June 5, 2024 9:03 AM

Brent Savage said on one of his recent lives he made his peace with doing gay porn so he's probably going to be filming soon.

by Anonymousreply 120June 6, 2024 9:30 PM
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