What does DL make of this situation?

Street women are extremely uptight and jealous, comparatively, when their partners watch porn.

Straight* (fucking phone)

Men’s minds have been completely, utterly addled by porn.

R3 = straight woman

The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life

I just don’t see the big deal about a guy watching porn while you give him head under the covers occasionally? They’ve been together for 6 years. Who gives a shit?

Endless commentary telling her to pack her bags and it’s completely disrespectful, etc.

I was clutching my pearls reading the responses from these lunatics.

Reddit is not where you go for life advice. It's a bunch of idiots with poor social skills responding to stories that are mostly made up. The only good part of Reddit is hobby subreddits. Everything else is pure trash.

There was one today or yesterday where a girlfriend was bitching about a guy getting advice from his "work wife" (I hate that term, but whatever) regarding things, including his relationship. All of the women there were like leave him, that's an emotional affair, etc., which is a ridiculous reaction. How many of those cunts bitch about their boyfriends to people at work? All of them. Maybe he shouldn't do that, maybe he should, but it's not an affair or cheating.

Anyway, straight relationships are boring.

R3? What makes you think they weren't like that before?

I say this as a woman (bi but my opinion still counts: if your communication with your partner of 6 years is so terrible that you can’t discuss watching porn together while having sexy time then the relationship should probably end anyway.

What did she think he was doing on his phone, checking his email? That would be way worse in my opinion lol

[quote]I just don’t see the big deal about a guy watching porn while you give him head under the covers occasionally? They’ve been together for 6 years. Who gives a shit?

If you go on reddit, it's a common "boundary" that men aren't allowed to watch pron. It's a huge issue for straight women.

The constant nattering about how terrible it is for men to watch pron and how anyone who watches it at all must be addicted passed the border for comical a while back.

I assume all men (with a sex drive) watch porn. Are women that delusional?

Yes, they are, R11. I've heard many tales of women "catching" their husbands watching porn and reacting exactly as if he had been banging a flesh-and-blood female right in front of them. Tears, anguish, moving out, counseling, threats of divorce... all because their husbands peeled one off when they weren't around.

Since the essence of all heterosexual relationships is vaginal access negotiation, I suspect women feel threatened by their men finding any type of release that doesn't involve them. From that perspective, it makes sense they would equate porn with infidelity.

I know of a woman who divorced her (just married) husband over it. She was a nut job tho so it was a big whatever.

IMO, the larger point is that people can no longer be in the moment, enjoying a blow-job. They've got to be on the phone, looking at a screen, doing something else.

I don't know, he's someone who seems extremely selfish, I'll bet all he ever wants is BJs.

If that's the case he does need to go. Have seen this all before. Their sex life already sounds boring.

I'm a gay guy and this seems impolite no matter the genders or persuasions of the two parties. Whatever happened to silent imagination and fantasy?

Watching porn when the partner is away and can’t satisfy you is one thing. Watching porn while someone is giving you a blowjob? Whole other matter.

R10 it’s also a common boundary that the women they date can’t have more than three sexual partners. Straight men would have a nuclear meltdown if they had to be a gay man.

The bigger problem to me is that the guy doesn’t want eye contact while getting head. That’s the best part!

Maybe he’s looking at really disturbing porn and that could be a problem but there are also other issues here.

I'm a straight woman and I don't get why the woman is so upset. Why would she care? It's not like the porn actress is blowing him. If that's what gets him off, so be it.

I’m gay and have had to close my eyes and recall porn scenes to get off from less than stellar bjs

This would have bothered me as a young gay man but examine yourself and you're over it. Now it's me and my guy, my age, and if it results in more of the intimacy and trust that is our foundation who cares? I can get off a whole lot more easily on my own and I know he can as well, if that's all it's about.

But just as most straight men (men period) cannot understand female sexuality, I believe this side of male sexuality is hardest for women to understand.

Maybe not all women. We have a few contributors on this thread who get it.

I am so glad I was never into women.

Can you imagine getting upset if your partner jerks off?

Geez, there wouldn't be a gay relationship in the world if people had tantrums and broke up over a partner jerking off.

[quote] some woman was giving her boyfriend head under the covers and caught him watching porn on his phone as she was doing it

As a gay man, I thought this is what you were supposed to do.

R24 that’s not what happened. Can you read?

[quote] I'm a straight woman and I don't get why the woman is so upset. Why would she care? It's not like the porn actress is blowing him. If that's what gets him off, so be it.

It's asshole behavior. You have a live person, in the flesh, sucking your dick and you reach for your fucking phone?

“She didn’t even tell you the whole story. She can’t even put it all the way in. Her pussy’s broke, dude you get it?”

I’m a bisexual non-binary pan mermaid and I don’t see what the big deal is.

[quote][R24] that’s not what happened. Can you read?

Better than you, r26, because I read the responses in the thread and posted accordingly.

[quote]Maybe he’s looking at really disturbing porn

Or gay porn.

If it isn't a shared kink, it's nasty. Imagine, OP, you're blowing your husband while he's firmly looking at a picture of his ex. (Similar, not the same.)

There is a huge difference between the men who came of age before hardcore internet porn was ubiquitous, and the generations who were completely raised on it. It’s incredible that we’re not allowed to talk about this enormous, society-changing development it without being labeled as sex-negative prudes.

I don't think it's worth ending the relationship over but it was definitely rude of him. It seems pretty likely that he's falling short in other ways.

The only people who think it’s normal to watch porn during a sex act with a partner are disease ridden whores who will die alone, completely forgotten by family and friends. Normal people still think it’s bad behavior.

Erna was right. Stinkfish really ARE boring.

[quote] The only people who think it’s normal to watch porn during a sex act with a partner are disease ridden whores who will die alone, completely forgotten by family and friends.

You sound like the fattest, nelliest prisspot that ever lived.

Takes one to know one. So prissy!

What kind of porn? Are we talking like Dudesnude or Motherless?

Is he watching gay porn to erase the reality of a toothy and incompetent blowjob?

How about if you cook your man a homemade dinner and he dumps ketchup all over it, has some McDonald's on the side, and cracks open a Mountain Dew to wash it all down with?

My dad was classy. He loved condiments but said no to the Dew.

I'd like to think that Dataloungers--older, younger, gay, bi, straight, spiritual, or less so--would at least agree that good sex is meant to be about people connecting, two (or more, if you wish) people giving and taking pleasure and giving each other their complete attention. Not all of us gay men are into soulless, impersoal, un-erotic encounters--we have to endure far too many non-sexual ones in modern life already. Many younger people already don't understand the meaning of eroticism (as opposed to sex). We live in a time when people treat each other callously, thoughtlessly, and disrespectfully--I wouldn't want to extend that into the bedroom. This is now considered old-fashioned or corny, I suppose, and you're ridiculed as "soft" or worse for objecting, but it's not something I would wish on myself or anyone else. It's being normalized in this thread--maybe because it's women doing the complaining. At least, as an eldergay MARY!, I'm entitled to *be* an eldergay MARY.

I don't think I could give good head under a blanket. I have to be able to move freely to work my hands and head. It's called a blow *job* for a reason.

Is the issue that he was watching porn or that he didn't bother to tell her he was going to? If the latter, she may have felt like hired help more than an actual partner.

I am a prude. If I were fucking or blowing someone there's no porn happening at the same time. I would rather have a threesome.

What is abnormal is that we're discussing whether or not this situation is abnormal. We're living in increasingly disconnected times. Why would you want to be a total product of your time? You were sexually active in the 2020s; you watched porn on your phone while receiving oral sex. Rejecting mechanical, "technology-enhanced", joyless sex and going for actual passion and intimacy instead might be as much of a statement as cooking healthy meals from scratch in an obesogenic society.

We live in a society where food delivery workers are routinely asked to wait outside the restaurant while awaiting their pick-ups, because diners don't want to be confronted with the sight of underpaid (and often illegal) workers. One of my country's popular food delivery apps has an option "Avoid contact with driver." We treat each other like garbage. These kinds of deadened, jaded sexual encounters are just an extension of that.

Well smell you, “L’Artiste” @ r43!

All these hand-wringing value judgements about watching porn while you are having sex is sounding like the Reddit brigade (except for the sweet Mary eldergay and rescue chick).

The actual issue is that neither of them feel comfortable discussing it with each other. If it was a healthy relationship she could say to him “what are you watching? What’s up with that? Why does that get you off more?” And he could honestly tell her why he finds it hot to watch porn as she is blowing him. Instead, she is too scared to confront the issue and is instead running to Reddit to ask strangers online what to do. And they are telling her to pack her bags and leave and he’s the worst person alive etc. And he is too nervous or ashamed to actually tell her why he’s watching the porn and just grabbed his phone back from her and didn’t say anything further.

They’ve been together 6 years. If he wants to watch some porn while she’s giving him a BJ occasionally, then just talk to her about it. It’s not like he’s asking to have a horse participate or using his phone to film her giving the head and texting it to his friends.

Remember when Meathead wanted Gloria to keep the wig on?

It's not like he called her by someone else's name or was sniffing another women's knickers while she was sucking his cheesy knob. I'd be more offended if he farted while she was down there. Dutch Oven.

[quote]Well smell you, “L’Artiste” @ [R43]!

Thank you, I'm proud to be one! If a (blow) job is worth doing, it's worth doing right.

R48 hits the nail on the head.

[quote] We live in a society where food delivery workers are routinely asked to wait outside the restaurant while awaiting their pick-ups, because diners don't want to be confronted with the sight of underpaid (and often illegal) workers.

It’s because people don’t want to travel to the restaurant. Jesus.

[quote]It’s because people don’t want to travel to the restaurant. Jesus.

No, that's not what it says. The food delivery workers are required to wait outside the restaurant until the meals that they will deliver to customers at home are handed to them. This is because restaurant managers are aware that their in-house diners (a different type of customer) don't want to see the UBER Eats etc. people hanging around inside the restaurant as they wait. Nevertheless, these workers earn the restaurant a sizeable chunk of their earnings, for very little pay. Whole parts of our societies are set up in a way that allows groups of people to physically avoid each other and barely or never interact. Americans may be so used to this that they're oblivious and don't even register it any more.

Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant, R54.