Colton Underwood and Jordan C. Brown Expecting First Baby Together

Oh, FUCK COLTON.

That should have been MY baby!

We're all sorry about this, Cassie.

Men who come out later in life almost always spend time making up for lost time, including whoring around and diving into relationships which don't last.

Didn’t the husband already have two kids with his ex-husband or am I imagining things.

I find the whole phenomenon of gay men having children via surrogate extremely depressing for some reason. Why do we need to bring children into the world in this manner? If my partner and I wanted children (and we do not) then we would adopt. Surrogacy just seems inappropriate in this context. And even a little bit gross.

I am definitely judging.

[quote] I find the whole phenomenon of gay men having children via surrogate extremely depressing for some reason.

It’s not a phenomenon, and you need to find a life of your own.

I would have dogs and cats instead.

Being gay and lesbian gives us an opportunity of freedom. We can reject assimilating to heteronormative society by not being bogged down by the obligations of having to get married and have children like straights.

Our sexual orientation releases us from those obligations, releases us from the obligations of our religious backgrounds and be left alone by our straight friends, family and workplaces being childless or unmarried. No one bats an eye that we don’t conform.

Gay marriage has been a blessing and a curse. It has given the rights to so many long time gay couples to be able to legally be recognized as a couple and that’s wonderful.

There were so many legal and political reasons, just like straight couples, to get married.

But the curse is gays now being apart of stupid wedding consumerism and now wanting to conform to heteronormative society.

Younger gays want marriage and children and a fairy tale ending like women. Was this the case post-2000s statistically?

Isn't his husband supposed to be hung like a horse?

If so, he better be the bio dad.

[quote]It’s not a phenomenon, and you need to find a life of your own.

Your condescending, bitchy attitude is probably a big part of my instinctive revulsion, R6.

But how many kids have you crafted in a rented a womb so far? Are you able to check that meaningless box yet? Have you overlooked additional ways that you might be able to sublimate your own existence while striving to duplicate the heterosexual family structure?

You can stop condescending to people who don't understand the path you have chosen to take. I happen to have a great life. And I don't have to live out my days in fealty and obeisance to straight people to get there, either.

[quote] Being gay and lesbian gives us an opportunity of freedom. We can reject assimilating to heteronormative society by not being bogged down by the obligations of having to get married and have children like straights.

[quote] Our sexual orientation releases us from those obligations, releases us from the obligations of our religious backgrounds and be left alone by our straight friends, family and workplaces being childless or unmarried. No one bats an eye that we don’t conform.

Amen to that, R8!

[quote]Being gay and lesbian gives us an opportunity of freedom. We can reject assimilating to heteronormative society by not being bogged down by the obligations of having to get married and have children like straights.

Freedom also means we can assume those obligations if we wish.

[quote]We can reject assimilating to heteronormative society

Enough with the "WE" shit, commie.

[quote]Your condescending, bitchy attitude is probably a big part of my instinctive revulsion, [R6].

No. One. Cares.

Colton has started attending Lamaze class at the local Curves.

[quote]“That was one of the things we bonded over early in our relationship. We both wanted to be dads,” says Underwood.

How embarrassing.

Will he be attending lactation classes as well?

[quote]Men who come out later in life almost always spend time making up for lost time, including whoring around and diving into relationships which don't last.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

R17, that involves all fours and Jordan C. Brown's nimble fingers.

[quote] Will he be attending lactation classes as well?

Chasten and his ample breasts could give Colton a few pointers.

Chasten breast fed his babies for five months.

Ok Eldergays all at once now... 🤮 🤮

Will the babies suckle on Colton's titties, too?

So, is this going to be a butt baby?

R22, come to mama. Rawr!

I guess Colton really does love the person and is not shallow. His hubs is very AWG.

Of course they are *eye roll*. Why do so many gay men have to do this? R5: do not feel bad for judging, they deserve it. Nature probably makes a decent number of humans gay to stop us continuing to destroy every other living thing on the planet, but the ‘me me me’, ‘I can everything I want’ attitude prevails and gay people create more people the planet doesn’t need. Like you say, adopt an unwanted kid if you’re that keen to be a parent. Stop with the genetic narcissism.

Adopting is easier said than done. Private adoption is extremely expensive and competitive. It can take years and it isn’t a sure thing. It can be messy if the birth parent wants an open adoption. It can also be very difficult if it’s cross racial.

If you adopt through foster care, it’s hard to get a baby - if you do, it’s likely one with special needs - and you have to go through the hellscape of the child welfare system, which takes years. You can also lose the kid back to the bio family, which is devastating.

I have no interest in having children, I don’t think anyone should be having children honestly - but I understand why gay couples use surrogates. It’s problematic in terms of using women that way, but that’s a whole OTHER discussion.

This whole “oh we would adopt” and “if you are gay and want a kid - adopt” it just isn’t that simple. The gay parents who do adopt children have a very tough road. And the gay couples who take in foster children and adopt them are actual angels.

Straight people breed kids nonstop. If a small percentage of gays want to be parents and use surrogates - so what? If they genuinely want to be fathers - why should THEY be forced to adopt when straight assholes are doing IVF constantly.

They should've adopted Darfur Orphan. Problem solved!

Colton is a lucky gal.

He just came out of the closet, and immediately scored a rich boyfriend (now husband) with a big dick.

Some of us go an entire lifetime without finding a partner.

And here comes Colton, fresh out of a relationship with a woman, then into one with a man who becomes his partner for life.

Am I jealous? Hell yes.

R27: oh yeah don’t get me started on straight couples/lesbians doing IVF too. They’re just one rung down the ladder from the gay male couples using surrogates.

R13 Why not?

Homosexuality is a form of birth control. That’s why it’s been condemned by religions for millennials.

Someone here once made a good point that homosexuality is a natural design to maintain and balance population.

But here we are in 2024, privileged homosexual society, trying to populate the world through homosexuality.

Who’s carrying the baby?????

R27 Gays have always had kids.

My point is there is a developing social hierarchy in the gay community developing. Family friendly Pride parades and married with surrogate children in suburbia / heteronormative assimilation is definitely becoming a thing amongst millennials and Gen Z gays.

I was 17 when gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts 20 years ago. I think there are more 20 year old gays today that want to live like breeders than live like gay men.

Meanwhile straights in the same age groups don’t want kids or marriage lol.

Colton is not really gay. Colton is not really married to a man. Colton is not really becoming a dad. I know this because I'm...

So Jordan is well endowed?

That's the rumor, R35.

Several Dataloungers have mentioned hooking up with him in the past.

So Colton is a versatile/bottom. What a mountain to climb 😝

[quote] It’s problematic in terms of using women that way, but that’s a whole OTHER discussion.

How is that another discussion? Acknowledging the ethical complications of surrogacy, and then saying discussing that is not relevant in a conversation about surrogacy.....is.....crazy.

I'm imagining Colton on all fours, getting TURNED OUT by Jordan's big dick.

Hot!

Is Cassie the surrogate?

Jordan seems quite old to be starting parenthood.

Having a pregnant surrogate these days is like carrying a Birkin bag -- it's the ultimate status symbol.

R33, I agree with you about the heteronormative assimilation among millennials and Gen Z. I have a co-worker in his early twenties who is already married to a man, talking about children, and says his ultimate ambition is to "make a home." Personally, I have no desire to live like a frau.

R41, he’s only 38.

[quote]I agree with you about the heteronormative assimilation among millennials and Gen Z.

The ridiculous thing is, straight people by and large are never going to mix it up with gay men who have kids. It is never going to happen. They might tolerate them and socialize with them. But straight parents will NEVER accept gay parents as being on their level. I have seen it first hand. Eventually, everyone gets older and reverts to the perceived norm.

[quote]I have a co-worker in his early twenties who is already married to a man, talking about children, and says his ultimate ambition is to "make a home." Personally, I have no desire to live like a frau.

It's almost as if different people want different things out of life.

[quote]The ridiculous thing is, straight people by and large are never going to mix it up with gay men who have kids.

If that's what gay parents care about, then I agree, they shouldn't be parents. But it's not a concern for the gay parents I know.

You can call me judgmental, R45, but I find it perplexing that a gay man in his early twenties in a major city would want to be tied down so early. If he wants to be a suburban breeder, there's plenty of time for that later.

Perhaps I would be more accepting if his personality weren't so off-putting; he's been acting holier than thou ever since he convinced his boyfriend to put a ring on it.

[quote]If that's what gay parents care about, then I agree, they shouldn't be parents. But it's not a concern for the gay parents I know.

I am referring explicitly to gay men, and specifically those who have children via surrogacy.

These couples are very clearly trying to replicate a specific experience. The question is why.

[quote]R27: oh yeah don’t get me started on straight couples/lesbians doing IVF too. They’re just one rung down the ladder from the gay male couples using surrogates.

R28, I'm truly not sure if you get just how utterly fucking warped you sound. Straight couples resort to IVF only after trying to conceive for at least two years. The IVF process totally fucking sucks: it costs a small fortune, and it's basically "routine" for implanted embryos to be miscarried. Since you're obviously male, you can't fathom how shitty the experience is for the woman looking to get pregnant: they have to get shot up with a total fuckload of hormones that wreak havoc on everything from their emotional well-being to their GI tract.

Btw as it so happens, my brother and his wife spent THREE YEARS trying to conceive before resorting to IVF, and my sister-in-law had three miscarriages before finally getting pregnant. They ended up with unexpected twins, and later had a third child naturally (which isn't uncommon for women who've already had IVF). I'm sorry you despise children (and women in general) for whatever fucked-up reason, but I truly cherish the time I spend with all three of my nephews.

R29, Colton is obviously ridiculously hot; he had a *very* high-profile role on "The Bachelor," and as far as anyone knows is its lone closet case to date; and while I despise gays who dismiss any & all "femme" gays, Colton is clearly a legit jock type who appeals to self-loathers as well. (Also, at least according to clips I've seen from that Netflix docuseries he did, he's both a bottom and into daddy types. If anything I'm surprised he picked one who's "only" 38.) It was a foregone conclusion that he'd marry an A-gay, and it's not surprising in the least that they're having kids. (The whole *reason* Colton was closeted for so long was because he grew up in a conservative household, but if this is somehow surprising to you: it's entirely common for deeply closeted people to be the ones most insistent on living a heteronormative life, one that replicates the one they *wish* they had growing up.)

Also: R47, that's at least one of your answers. Gay couples settle down and marry and have kids in part because they crave heteronormality, but in some cases it's a form of fuck-you to the conservative establishment that would STILL deny us nearly all civil rights if they could. The considerable difference: straight couples are still broadly expected to "settle down and have kids," at least in Western countries, even if they don't particularly want them. Gay couples have no such expectations (either male or female, or a poly/pan couple), and if they're getting that type of peer pressure from their gay friends, said friends need to fuck royally off.

[quote]But straight parents will NEVER accept gay parents as being on their level.

I'm sorry, R44, but this is a ridiculously overbroad – and definitely false – assumption. I know plenty of gay couples with kids. I also know plenty of straight couples with kids. I further know that both groups routinely intermingle, and at least in progressive parts of America, the notion of straight couples "accepting" gay parents is as norm, and obvious, as "accepting" even a divorced parent. All such people share a commonality: their love for their children. I'm sorry for whatever experiences you've had that have you thinking otherwise, but it's simply not the case.

[quote]I have a co-worker in his early twenties who is already married to a man, talking about children, and says his ultimate ambition is to "make a home."

Well gosh, if you have a solitary Gen Z coworker who longs for heteronormality, this MUST be true for ALL of the millions of Gen Z gay men worldwide!!! But seriously, Gen Z & millennial queers are even less likely to want to marry than the Gen X gays & boomers who've comprised the large majority of same-sex marriages to date – also true for heteros, and in similar per-capita numbers. Contrary to misconceptions posted here, queer couples aren't getting married any more quickly on whole than straight couples: at least among white-collar professionals, most who get married are at least in their early 30s. (Colton's 32 btw.)

I have a few acquaintances who have married and babied up. One guy I remember in particular because he was in my 12-step meeting boasting about how now that he was married to his partner and had a baby via adoption he “didn’t need men in bars to validate him” and how he felt badly for gay men who were still unattached. Almost as if he held us in contempt. I walked out of the meeting later with my friend and we were both feeling a bit miffed. Then my buddy reminded me that this guy was arrested for giving a man a blowjob in the parking lot of a local bar. I recalled the incident but couldn’t recall the guy. Giving Claire Huxtable realness when a few years earlier he was giving head to strangers in a parking lot. 😝😝😝🙄🙄🙄

If that’s heteronormative, then you can have it.

I would have called out that asshole, R50.

He sounds insufferable.

You should have Datalounged him!

R49 You’re talking about straights.

Straight marriage is down. Gay marriage is up.

R42 Yes, gays are marrying for the same superficial reasons straight are.

And of course, it’s a choice they should have.

It’s just sad that’s what it become.

When gay marriage was legalized, it was a happy moment. Those couples who had been together for decades could be recognized legally and politically.

Wedding consumerism is typically the driving agenda for marriage. It’s a graduation party for women. Most straight men would prefer a cheap courthouse wedding!

Which is why I find it so pretentious when gays throw these lavish Bridezilla weddings with no chick. Only to get divorced eventually as most straight couples do.

Camilla Paglia once said gays are the gatekeepers of masculinity because they don’t have to conform to a woman’s lifestyle.

The greatest example, while small, is how a lot of straight men shave all their body off for women. Completely bald crotches, that’s how you can tell a guy is straight. Gay men love big hairy asses and hairy armpits and the smell of all of it. It’s manly.

Gay men of western culture and their primitive sexual nature are the closest thing to masculinity. Gays are the closest thing to Vikings in that sense of roaming free as men without having to conform to modern women who absolutely reject that side of male sexuality (and rightfully so today).

Marriage is feminine. There are straight men who are suckered and pressured or naively give in to marrying a woman.

So that’s why I just find it confusing why gay men want to live like straights when there’s no chick!

If I’m with a longtime partner, I can see the legal and political benefits of getting married. But as a MAN, even a feminine one, I do not have any concepts of fairy tales and white picket fences and marrying some dude after knowing him for 2 years like dumb ass straight people.

I also have to add to my R54 post, a lot of straight men marry to have mothers. Another reason added to why I get confused.

I give these two just another couple of years before they split up. They are absolutely ridiculous to bring a baby into the relationship and ruin that child’s life all for their own vain self interests.

[quote] It’s problematic in terms of using women that way, but that’s a whole OTHER discussion.

You mean employing but whatever. Straight men use women that way all the time.

[quote] a lot of straight men marry to have mothers.

You just described my two older brothers!

[quote]You mean employing but whatever.

That isn't an improvement over the term "using."

There’s payment involved. The women in this case are working. It’s a paid job.

[quote] There’s payment involved. The women in this case are working. It’s a paid job.

Exactly.

I wish I could make $50,000 popping out babies.

R54: It's been a long time since anyone cared what Camila Paglia had to say.

Jordan is Colton's starter husband. Everything he does has to be exhaustively documented for his adoring public.After being deep in the closet and then flinging that closet door open, Colton came out. Basically married the first guy he dated- who also conveniently loves attention from strangers. They'll have the baby. Then a couple years in the veneer will crack and they'll have a tearful public breakup. There will be a new podcast: Colton's Divorce Journey, or some such bullshit.

[quote][R41], he’s only 38.

He's lying by at least 10 years.

Colton wasn't exactly all the way in the closet before this. He has no real marketable skills beyond being a professional attention whore. He already has a podcast for being a daddy and I'm sure variations on that will go on forever. The one good sign is that he doesn't have a current streaming show.

It’s so great that a gay man can give birth too, I guess.

R66, Our Colto is planning on a C-section. He wants to keep his figure.

[quote] Our Colto is planning on a C-section. He wants to keep his figure.

No need for a C-section.

Jordan Brown's huge cock has stretched his bussy so wide open, that baby is just going to pop out!

R68, Colto plans on eating the placenta.

Colton has a surprisingly flat ass.

R70, from that angle you can pour some Aunt Jemima over it and call it a pancake!

Serve it with your chorizo and huevos.

"Men who come out later in life almost always spend time making up for lost time, including whoring around and diving into relationships which don't last."

Don't all gay men do that no matter when they came out? The "making up for lost time" motivation might vary, but the result is the same. I know plenty of out-when-young gays who never had a lasting relationship - and they had plenty of opportunities.

Buttock deficient.

When I saw the two of them together, I thought Jordan must have something attractive that I couldn't see.

Now I learn that he's rich and has a big dick. All became clear. Thanks DL!

How rich is Jordan? Any net worth estimates?

Colton really could have had his pick of husbands and he ended up with this Herman Munster lookalike? Ugh

One of the early threads on this couple included a post from someone acquainted with Jordan who described him a talky (5000 words where 5 would do), name dropping guy, but not an idiot and in possession of a large cock. Penis size aside, he sounds like any number of people one meets in DC and probably in Hollywood, so if he's involved in politics and celeb worlds, he probably fits in. For someone like Underwood who is attention seeking, likes being part of a world of at least cheap glamour, and has no marketable skill or worldly knowledge, this is probably Yin meats Yang. He gets to remain in his glam/celeb/insta world but he doesn't have to work as hard. Jordan gets someone who is blandly good looking, no threat to his status and a total bottom. Given that their pairing has not led to a new reality show or too much drama, this probably works out well for them (and for us, because we don't have to hate watch a new series).

And Colton doesn’t have to share the spotlight with someone famous.

[quote]Then a couple years in the veneer will crack and they'll have a tearful public breakup. There will be a new podcast: Colton's Divorce Journey, or some such bullshit.

Podcast? Bitch, please. I have a four-series deal with Netflix: one covering our journey to conception (in the can), the birth (coming soon), our divorce (shhh!), and me finding an even RICHER hubby. (And much bigger dicked.)

You’re gonna need someone who has a bigger dick, Colton, as your anus is stretched to its limits…

Colto is gonna need to do lots of kegels after this double-birth.