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WTF is “garden attire?”

I’m attending my nephew’s outdoor wedding in Sacramento later this month. The invitation calls for garden attire and I want to be respectful but this is an all day affair in 90 degree heat. Suggestions?

by Anonymousreply 67May 15, 2024 8:31 PM

Booty shorts, an open Hawaiian shirt, and flip-flops.

by Anonymousreply 1May 15, 2024 3:14 AM

A kaftan and a really big straw hat, no less than 24 inches in diameter, but preferably 36+.

by Anonymousreply 2May 15, 2024 3:16 AM


by Anonymousreply 3May 15, 2024 3:17 AM

Anything from the tennis scene in “A Room With a View” should do.

by Anonymousreply 4May 15, 2024 3:17 AM

Isn't there a gnome friend you could ask?

by Anonymousreply 5May 15, 2024 3:17 AM

Overalls, work gloves and the Burpee seed catalog.

by Anonymousreply 6May 15, 2024 3:18 AM

Burlap panties. A straw hat. A green thumb.

by Anonymousreply 7May 15, 2024 3:19 AM

[quote]this is an all day affair in 90 degree heat. Suggestions?

Linen is the only thing that’s going to get you through this.

by Anonymousreply 8May 15, 2024 3:26 AM

Crotchless panties, fuck me heels, and incest tendencies should do the trick.

by Anonymousreply 9May 15, 2024 3:29 AM

What about the Mormon ‘magical ‘ white silky underwear. That’s light and airy, and seems at least garden adjacent.

by Anonymousreply 10May 15, 2024 3:30 AM

Seersucker suit, kerchief tucked in pocket and a bow tie. Appropriate straw hat to accompany (of course), as recommended above in other posts.

by Anonymousreply 11May 15, 2024 3:31 AM

Connecticut casual.

by Anonymousreply 12May 15, 2024 3:32 AM

“Dad, I want to wear a speedo! I don’t care if you’re jealous.”

by Anonymousreply 13May 15, 2024 3:34 AM

Linen and cotton suits and lighter, summery colors OP. No flip flops obviously - unless they're fancy leather ones.

Here's hottie David Gandy to tell you more. The pic shown in the link is garden party wedding attire.

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by Anonymousreply 14May 15, 2024 3:36 AM

Adam & Eve?

by Anonymousreply 15May 15, 2024 3:36 AM

I Googled "garden attire men," and this was literally the first image thta appeared.

I say: go for it! You'll be the hit of the wedding.

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by Anonymousreply 16May 15, 2024 3:37 AM

I would wear something like this OP. Use those shapes and pick the colors that suit you best.

*But if you look like David Gandy then you can just go naked and it will be very appreciated.

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by Anonymousreply 17May 15, 2024 3:39 AM

R17 - R14

by Anonymousreply 18May 15, 2024 3:40 AM

OMG, Sacramento can be stifling hot. The guys at R14 look great, but come on, it's Sacramento. "Garden attire" might have a different meaning in Sacramento.

Nobody should be holding an outdoor wedding in 90-degree F heat.

I hate weddings and this is one reason why.

by Anonymousreply 19May 15, 2024 3:42 AM

Go to J Press. Patch Madras blazer, light white pants, and a shirt and bowtie of your choice and weejuns. It's a classic style that always works for spring garden events.

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by Anonymousreply 20May 15, 2024 3:46 AM

Board shorts, flip flops, mank and sunglasses. Bonus for the neoprene sunglasses holder that wraps around your neck.

by Anonymousreply 21May 15, 2024 3:47 AM

Speedos and cock ring.

by Anonymousreply 22May 15, 2024 3:47 AM

That jacket should be illegal R20.

by Anonymousreply 23May 15, 2024 3:48 AM

[quote]That jacket should be illegal [R20].

Let me guess, state school?

by Anonymousreply 24May 15, 2024 3:51 AM

Private boarding school R24.

It's just that I have taste. I'm also R14 and R17.

by Anonymousreply 25May 15, 2024 3:53 AM

This might help. If not, you can never go wrong with caftans and earrings.

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by Anonymousreply 26May 15, 2024 3:55 AM


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by Anonymousreply 27May 15, 2024 3:55 AM

Shears, gloves, a scythe

by Anonymousreply 28May 15, 2024 3:56 AM

You’re fortunate it’s an upcoming event. A few weeks ago it was national garden naked week.

by Anonymousreply 29May 15, 2024 4:01 AM

I think people put a flower in their buttonhole sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 30May 15, 2024 4:01 AM


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by Anonymousreply 31May 15, 2024 4:02 AM


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by Anonymousreply 32May 15, 2024 4:09 AM

Don't forget the machete

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by Anonymousreply 33May 15, 2024 4:10 AM

Awwww...your nephew is a bottom too.

by Anonymousreply 34May 15, 2024 4:21 AM

[quote] Private boarding school [R24].

For college?

by Anonymousreply 35May 15, 2024 4:27 AM

Garden attire? Who the F comes up with these silly names? I’d show up in denim overall and workboots and work gloves.

by Anonymousreply 36May 15, 2024 5:20 AM

Linen or seersucker. Panama hat. Sunglasses.

by Anonymousreply 37May 15, 2024 5:22 AM

Basically Hannibal Lecter at df Silence of the Lambs

by Anonymousreply 38May 15, 2024 5:48 AM

I mean, it's Sacramento, which is ghetto as fuck. Just wear shoes and you'll be the best-dressed person in attendance.

by Anonymousreply 39May 15, 2024 6:20 AM

Easiest ensemble to assemble. Linen as datalounge mentioned. Lightweight blazer over chinos. Easy.

by Anonymousreply 40May 15, 2024 6:30 AM

You're going to show up and everyone else will be in a bathing suit. Pointing and laughing at you.

by Anonymousreply 41May 15, 2024 3:46 PM

Where overalls, Op. It sounds like a work party.

by Anonymousreply 42May 15, 2024 3:57 PM

OP, does this help?

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by Anonymousreply 43May 15, 2024 4:01 PM

How about this ensemble - smart looking and the watering vessel provides one the ability to refill drinks without looking out of place.

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by Anonymousreply 44May 15, 2024 4:02 PM

Don't go. They'll just ask you to play your old songs and old black guys will hit on you.

by Anonymousreply 45May 15, 2024 4:10 PM

R20 Is this a clown wedding?

by Anonymousreply 46May 15, 2024 4:10 PM

R43, OP is going to be the frau in that blue shent, drunkenly enjoying wine o'clock!

by Anonymousreply 47May 15, 2024 4:16 PM

R20 That jacket screams for the Full Cleveland.

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by Anonymousreply 48May 15, 2024 4:22 PM

Since it's Sacramento, you could probably get by with cargo shorts and Crocs.

by Anonymousreply 49May 15, 2024 4:24 PM

Jordan Roth can help you.

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by Anonymousreply 50May 15, 2024 4:26 PM

R20 's wisdom is solid, but a tad expensive for some of us. Snag this jacket for $100 pocketing 4 Benjamins in savings. You're welcome, wallet!

Also, consider rocking very dark denim jeans for the garden wedding. Enjoy the festivities, and mazel tov on the celebration!"

by Anonymousreply 51May 15, 2024 5:00 PM

Oops... From some reason the hyperlink isn't working. Google - sports jackets men's Nordstrom Rack - and you'll see many fashion possibilities at around hundred bucks.

by Anonymousreply 52May 15, 2024 5:04 PM

Linen suit or seersucker jacket and white pants/blue pants.

White shirt, no tie. White bucks.

by Anonymousreply 53May 15, 2024 5:05 PM

Just be sure to slather MANDO all over your pits, pecs, package, ass crack and feet - because you are going to sweat like a Hebrew slave!

by Anonymousreply 54May 15, 2024 5:11 PM

Here's another try

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by Anonymousreply 55May 15, 2024 5:17 PM

Oh, I'm quite fond of THIS one.

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by Anonymousreply 56May 15, 2024 5:38 PM

Caftan & earrings

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by Anonymousreply 57May 15, 2024 5:40 PM


Parrot earrings.

by Anonymousreply 58May 15, 2024 5:45 PM

If you can pull it off I'd go with something like this

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by Anonymousreply 59May 15, 2024 5:51 PM

Think Gregory Peck in To Kill A Mockingbird.

by Anonymousreply 60May 15, 2024 5:59 PM

How fucking pretentious. GARDEN ATTIRE?

by Anonymousreply 61May 15, 2024 6:01 PM

You guys are making jokes, but this might be the start of OP's social season. He will need proper outfits. Garden attire season doesn't really end before June 21, before we switch to summer attire. I'm kind of surprised that a gay man doesn't know what garden attire is or already has 2 or 3 options already in his closet, but you live, you learn.

by Anonymousreply 62May 15, 2024 6:34 PM

Sotto voce: "He's asking what is garden attired. Really, NOK:"

by Anonymousreply 63May 15, 2024 6:36 PM

It's Sacramento, wear whatever you wear when you have to be outdoors in a central valley summer. Oh right, we don't fucking go outside in the noonday sun here. Mad dogs and Englishmen do.

If the bride and groom insist on torturing their guests, wear a baseball hat and an Oakland A's t-shirt, that'll show em.

by Anonymousreply 64May 15, 2024 6:56 PM

[quote]You guys are making jokes, but this might be the start of OP's social season.

It's Sacramento. So shorts and a polo shirt then? BYOB?

by Anonymousreply 65May 15, 2024 7:04 PM

Caftans, for air circulation.

by Anonymousreply 66May 15, 2024 8:20 PM

R62 I was making jokes about middlebrow Sacramento but you are right to respect appropriate clothing for events. I was focused on the trend of weddings becoming increasingly callous to the comfort of guests but that's no excuse for responding in kind, rather the reverse.

by Anonymousreply 67May 15, 2024 8:31 PM
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