Today is 30 days without drinking

Congrats, OP. You felt the need to do another thread, though?

Oh, R1, seriously, fuck off. Of all the times to hall monitor. Fuck right off.

Oh, R1, seriously, fuck off. Of all the times to hall monitor. Fuck right off.

You'rwe repeating yourself, dear R2/R3.

Thank wu, Elmer.

Are you the dead pug/new pug person, OP? If so, condolences and congratulations. I hope you can keep not drinking. And have fun with your new dog.

r1 - yes, I felt like sharing this as a new thread. I felt like sparking new conversation and also wanted to make sure I sent out a special message to the people in the original thread that didn't believe I could or would do it.

I also wanted to spread some positivity and a message that even when things seem bleak or you're at the bottom of the mountain, looking up and wondering how the fuck you're going to get to the top of that, it starts with just a few steps at a time that add up to the way up the mountain. And sometimes the journey looks very different to each person, but there are a number of ways to make it to the top.

r6 - yes I am that person :) My new pup is doing well. And a friend/former co-worker just completed a beautiful portrait of my old dog Hercules who died in November from a photo I've shared on here before. It's beautiful and I'll be getting it framed to hang in my living room.

I like to hear early sobriety stories.

I’ve been sober 39 years and many have been the times I’ve behaved badly when stone cold sober. The difference is that now I remember them.

It’s not easy, OP, but it’s so much better than the alternatives I just keep slogging through the Christmases and birthdays and all the other reasons to drink that a year presents.

I haven’t gone to AA meetings regularly for many years but the program gave me a solid grounding in the thought processes I needed. If reporting your successes and stumblings here doesn’t give you what you need, that option is always there.

Many good lucks!

Cheers, OP 🥂

OP sounds like a psychopath who has to live in a highly controlled environment or she’ll snap. The sobriety won’t last. She’s a runaway train and there’s no stopping the inevitable.

🔮DUI

It’s wonderful to hear things have brightened up for you, OP! It sounds like you are implementing a lot of positive actions to help you feel better and more healthy.

OP is on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

Respect! Keep going! You and the new puppy enjoy the portrait of little Hercules. I love that.

R9, R10, R11 and R13 are all the work of the same misanthrope. About as useful as the white crayon.

Yep, r15. I refuse to feed the troll. I look at them like the schoolyard bully who feels the need to belittle or make fun of others in order to deflect attention from their own perceived (or actual) shortcomings and failures.

I'm hoping one day they realize there is little to be gained by trying to make others feel bad in order to feel a sense of superiority in an attempt to overcome their feelings of insecurity.

Good sleuthing, R15. I happen to be unable to see all those posts and strongly suspected that I wasn’t missing much.

I also have them blocked. Just a cunt troll.

Good on you, OP / R7 And please do post some pictures of your dog

great to hear this OP, Congratulations!

OP needs to have a tasty, cold, refreshing whiskey & coke and chill out. 🥃

Congrats OP! You've got this. And don't listen to the Cuntzillas on this thread. This is an accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself.

R21, once upon a time the first 20 posts were iterations of I’ll drink to that.

R22, there is only one Cuntzilla, and that's the troll at R21.

You know, OP, if you went to an AA meeting, you could get a 30-day chip and have a real fuss made over you!

Some people love that stuff. I know I did when I was newly clean/sober, but now, after 44 years clean, I'm over it. And I haven't gone to a meeting for 20+ years. But it really helped me for the first five or so.

That said, congratulations! Just remember, it truly is a day at a time, an hour at a time, sometimes even a minute at a time. But after awhile, it becomes such a habit, you don't even think about it anymore. Good luck!

OP, just remember that no matter how happy you feel, you’ll always wonder if you would have been happier if you’d gotten in to a better rehab.

r25 - I wasn't trying to say "and I did it without AA!" at all, and have used AA in the past; the last time I stopped drinking in November of 2022, I was extremely grateful for the online meetings and having support after a loooooooong bout (3+ years) of severe drinking and hermit-hood. That was really a scary place to be and I had to pull myself out of far worse circumstances than I did this time (think: house overrun with bottles of wine, messes, hoarding-type situation) - AA was there for me and it was an important part of a routine for me the first 2-3 months to help me get back on my feet.

This time, my lapse in sobriety was 4 months, so it was quite a bit easier to fall back into healthy patterns I had previously developed. But AA is definitely helpful and I fully support and encourage anyone who needs that support; it is a wonderful resource.

For me, just being able to function without feeling sick and seeing the results of caring for myself and my surroundings is incentive enough.

Best wishes to you, OP, and much happiness.

R10 was being a bitch, but he makes a good point.

OP thirty days is amazing! Huge congrats. I've been sober for almost five years (also with zero AA meetings - just not my thing) so I know that first thirty is so damn important.

But I do think you need to realize that dogs will die. People will die. Jobs will be lost. You will get sick. You will be disappointed. And frustrated.

If what you want is sobriety, you have to accept that bad things will happen to you and because of you and because it's how life works. And that those bad things are no reason to drink. They are a reason to cry, yell, lament, heal and laugh. But not drink.

Once you truly accept that? You'll be just fine.

God, this site has been overrun with humorless, bleeding heart fraus and the femme gays that imitate them.

R30 are you a MascTop??

R31 no, a femmepwrbttm

Fucking Frau alert, kill it with fire! Go drunk antifreeze OP.

r29 = Negativatina

I've been sober since I was twenty-four and as an "average Datalounger", you can imagine how long that is!

My observation remains the same: Drinking, of the daily variety, has very little to offer if you plan on doing anything else.

That's great, OP!

Keep expressing/relieving/reporting/whatever you want to call it here as needed.

Wishing you well!

And yet I don't see a humourous contribution from you, r30.

OP, I am truly hapoy for you. Your observation about treating alcohol as someone who died and isn't ever returning is spot on. You will succeed.

Thanks for brightening my morning.

^ happy 😉

R30, as he lifts another gin fizz to his gnarled mouth....

I’ve been sober for 3+ years and regularly attend AA meetings - my city has many gay meetings and I found those meetings the most relatable and beneficial. I moved to a new city and hung back a bit at the meetings and observed people b fore I started accepting invitations for “fellowship” - lots of AA people have an agenda and I am careful who I hung out with, but I’ve made friends and the support and camaraderie has been great. It’s definitely good for networking. I go to a lot of meetings now, 5 a week, but I’ll definitely drop back to just one or two. I’m pretty sure I’ll attend meetings for the rest of my life, and like them, I like the stories and the experiences and being reminded of my problem. Good luck OP!

How much did you drink, Op? I like to have a couple of glasses of wine or a couple martinis before I go to bed. Maybe, I'm an alcoholic but don't think of myself as one.

r42 I was swilling down 2 bottles of wine a night.

Thanks, Op. I will drink a bottle and maybe a glass from a second bottle. Occasionally, I stop drinking for several weeks just to prove I can walk away from it.

R43 yeah you needed help

To the flailing Nancies up thread, if OP is tempted to relapse based upon some teasing posts and emojis on an anonymous obscure website then she’s got bigger problems.

Cheers, OP 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

I was drinking a bottle of wine a night listening to music. It was bliss. But I had to stop because I felt I might be becoming an alcoholic. I thought I'll be damned if I can't drink at parties or get togethers. That would be truly miserable. So I don't keep any alcohol in the house. Oh that vodka in the freezer! I miss it but it allows me the freedom to drink when I go out with friends. To abstain in a social setting is unimaginable to me.

R48 is a functioning, social alcoholic

I'm not tempted at all by the teasing stuff.

I'm not excusing my relapse, but when you lose your Mom, your dog, your cat and find out a very good friend who you'd lost touch with (and was younger than you, and also an alcoholic) died in one year, it's a LOT.

And so that happened for me late last year. My dog was my North Star - he'd been with me for 14 years through so many things, including living in my car for 6 months in 2017. My Mom and I hadn't seen each other in over 15 years, and she was diagnosed with a devastating form of dementia that completely laid waste to her mind in the course of just a few years. I never got a chance to see her because I didn't have the money to go see her in Hawaii. There were so many things that just summed up to a cesspool of suck.

But i wallowed for four months in grief and now i'm picking up the pieces. DL helps (even when people bash and call names) because there are some great people here that actually care about others.

So, thank you, DLers.

How are you doing OP?

A friend of mine drinks a lot and gets angry, he texted me that I was trash (projecting much?) and I wasn't good. Just being an asshole, half his texts don't even make sense.

How do I deal with someone like that? I can't avoid him because I have business dealings with him. I have to get along...

Well done OP, very pleased for you X

Way to go!!

Good for you! If I gave a shit about my own habits I’d be jealous.

OP, it'sh time you shelebrate with a shcotch!

What will you drink if you stop drinking?

-- P. Stone

Good to hear your progress OP. It's a day to day journey. Keep a positive outlook and follow what you've been doing so far. I'm currently at 28 years sober. I stumbled my first two attempts, but the third attempt stuck. Today I can walk into a liquor store, buy a bottle of wine or scotch as a gift for a friend when visiting for a dinner, and it doesn't faze me at all. It has all the impact of buying a jar of mayonnaise.

R57, did you go to AA? Do you keep in touch with your drinking buddies? Or did you make new friends? Or what happened to those friends who told you that you had a drinking problem and tried to help you but you shut them out (at the time)?

So if I don't drink at home but have a few drinks when I'm out with friends I'm a functioning alcoholic?

I do have an overwhelming desire to drink vodka alone.

R59, I wouldn't say you're a functioning alcoholic, how often are you drinking with your friends?

I have a friend who gets shit faced when he's out drinking, he wakes up and starts drinking...but he has a good job and can't drink on the job and he doesn't. But when he doesn't work, on his day off, he gets fucked up.

OP, that's a month. I'm proud of you, keep it up.

R58 I came to the realization I was an alcoholic myself. I had to stop hanging out with my friends at 2 local bars and my other socializing drinking buddies. I did attend AA for about 3-4 years, but when I felt comfortable that I no longer needed it, I stopped going regularly, and would only stop in to the meetings occasionally. Overcoming alcoholism is very much a gradual process and every person travels at their own speed.

[quote]Today is 30 days without drinking

Oh, dear.

Please. The integrity of the English language is more important than one person's four-week sobriety, as much as we with the person well.

Well today couldn't be a worse day to resurrect this thread.

OP here, and I'm zero days from drinking. It's not like I just fell off the wagon though...I did stay sober for about 2 months, then Mother's Day came and went. That had a lot to do with my fall.

In answer to any questions, I'm not a bar drinker...it's too expensive. When I drink, I drink at home. I'm not a very social person, to be honest.

Anyways, since this came up and I keep seeing notifications over and over again (despite my attempts to ignore them), I figured I'd update (and disappoint) everyone. And give everyone else a good chance to point fingers and snicker at my failure.

I will stop drinking again, but today isn't that day. Tomorrow might be though.

OP You are doing great! Good for you. You sound like you know exactly what works for you. Do not worry one bit about anyone else. Keep doing what you are doing. Maybe a fun meet up group with your new pup would be worth exploring? I did that and it was fun. Good luck, congrats and keep it up.

R64 Oops I posted my support to you too soon before ready all the threads. Here's the deal. Just start over. It's all you can do. Don't wallow in self pity. But get your shit together. You've done it before. You might not have to quit for the rest of your life, so don't attach that baggage. How about a sober summer to start. Yiou can do it.

thank you, r66. I saw your post but realized you were being sincere and that our posts crossed each other in the night.

I appreciate your supportive words. I have done this a couple times on my own without being "intervened" or gone into rehab. I will do it again because honestly, I hate losing myself and my likes and interests just to not feel emotional pain for several hours in the form of passing out. In theory, it would be nice to just check out for a few hours, but in practice, there is the hangover and other mental and emotional after-effects that suck away any kind of life I have.

I'll stop again, though. It's physically painful for me, to be honest. Not to mention all the other shitty repercussions.

[quote] So if I don't drink at home but have a few drinks when I'm out with friends I'm a functioning alcoholic? I do have an overwhelming desire to drink vodka alone.

You do sound like you have a problem with alcohol and some kind of emotional issue. I would just quit. It's such a slippery slope. I.e., rules of the game keep changing slightly.

1. No drinking.

2. Can drink, but only with friends.

3. Can drink with friends and, on weekends, can drink alone.

4. Etc.

R67 Just throwing this out there for you to think about. Weed is your friend. It does more for my anxiety and depression than booze of prescription meds ever did. Micro dose just a little, like 2-3 mgs to start. A nice balanced hybrid. It's pretty great stuff if you live in a state with medical marijuana. Get your card. Life changing.

Thanks, r69. I did try that a few years ago...with not too much success, but it might be worth trying it in a microdosing sense instead of just trying to get high and sleep.

For what it's worth, I did empty my fridge of rotting food from 2 months ago and actually went out to buy real food so I could eat instead of just alcohol. I think that's part of it...i often tend to self-neglect, which is a pattern from childhood. It helps me when I try to infuse some self-care. it doesn't come naturally at all, because that wasn't how things were growing up for me.

I'll take it in small steps like I have in the past.

The dog is always cared for above me, though. We grew up with animals and that was the top of the chart.

R70, Hang in there. At least you admit you have a problem. Lots of people can't even do that...

take care of yourself and good luck!

Wow. I just looked at my initial post and 52 people wished for me to succeed.

That is unbelievable. I don't even have 52 people in my life that I know.

Thank you so much for your support, through good times and bad.

Oh wow, this thread just came back. I loved R63. I wonder, is he Mike Tyson? He with you well!

I'm sorry to hear you drank again, but it's not the end of the world. You just try again. I'm like R57, it took me about ten years to get one year of sobriety. Now I have almost 11. It's wild, I can't even believe it. I used to drink constantly, anything and everything. No one wanted me around, I felt shitty every day, and I still couldn't just fucking stop. I went to rehab five times, I think? Maybe more. Did AA, the whole nine yards. And then one day it just clicked, November 9th of 2013. And I haven't had a drink since then. I'm 51 now and I don't know if I'd have made it if I still drank. I got a dui with a BAC of .36 in 2002. I don't know how I survived. I have lots of friends in recovery but I don't do meetings anymore, not since covid, where I used to zoom all the time. My friends and I text a gratitude list to each other every morning. My list usually includes being grateful for not feeling shitty this morning and for remembering what I did last night. You don't have to live like that anymore, you can do it. You don't have to stop drinking forever, you just can't drink today.

bac of .36 is crazy.

thank you, r73. I needed that.

I also had a similar BAC way back in 2017, but it was about .25 if I recall. I'm short and the ER staff was incredulous.

Thanks to everyone who is willing to be positive here. I know this a space that everyone can just free for all tell you what a loser you are.

I am a loser. But i'm trying not to be. And have been trying for a few years now. Thank you to all that can be kind.

I know there will be some that aren't, and I accept it.

R74 I know! And I weigh about 115. I don't know how I didn't die. I was so ashamed too, I didn't drive again for something like 14 years. I promised myself I would never drive drunk again and wouldn't even attempt to get my license back until I had at least two years sober. But here I am, driving all the time now, and even driving people who are drunk.

You're not a loser R75. You're an addict, you have a problem with alcohol. Alcohol really is cunning, baffling, and powerful. If Jeff Dahmer hadn't been such an alkie, he probably wouldn't have been a serial killer. I wish I could drink, and I don't care if other people do, but for me, it's fucking life ruining poison. And the poster who suggested weed, yeah, if you can, do it! I personally hate weed, as it dulls my hatred. I have tons of friends that do it though, including program friends. I say, do what you need to to not drink. I smoke so much more now (cigarettes) and I eat a lot of sugar, I still do miss it. Luckily I walk a lot so I still only weigh about 121.

I hope you have a couple days booze free now, I know it's fucking painful to detox, if you can get a few benzos, do it. I had horrible shakes and nausea, etc when I stopped. It's so awful that I never want to detox again. Maybe you can go to a zoom meeting or something, there's some great ones. My fellowship is actually CMA (crystal meth anon) and I go to the LGBT ones. I'm not a tweeker and never really was a big one, but I like CMA, I have a lot of friends there.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

thank you, r76 . i would love that url and loved morning meetings last when I attended them.

to be upfront, I have a BOD meeting i can't attend tomorrow 3-5pm. I take meeting minutes so there's no way to NOT attend iit.

^^can't NOT attend., 3-5pm.

Here's a link for gay meetings, I can't find the name of the one we all used to go to. It might be no more now, since we all had to go back to work after covid. But CMA always can use people to make new zoom meetings, AA probably too. BOD?

Thank you, r79

I need to attend some meetings...they give me some solidarity.

awww, it's so wonderful to see everyone here so supportive! I'm not addicted to booze but I'm pretty fucked up in other areas of my life and your positivity is amazing and having an effect on me.

Hang in there everyone!

You're welcome. I hope you do, even if it's just to get through the night and not drink. I used to do the marathon meetings on zoom and in person. On the holidays we'd do the alka-thon, so on NYE you can log on or go to the alano club and there are meetings back to back all day and night, just to get you through. Of course I would never drink on holidays, cause I was with my family and was pretending to be sober. I can get through NYE without drinking just fine, it was Tuesday morning I couldn't handle, or Thursday night, or basically, any time. Oh and you should get Russell Brand's book, it's great. No matter what you think of Brand, he works a good program and his book is helpful. I think it's called Freedom from addiction or something. Oh R81, I have a friend who is not a drinker at all, but she has problems with food and with sex, and she loves Brand's book, it's helpful for any type of compulsive behaviors. I really think everyone should practice the principles of recovery, they're helpful in every area of life. Good luck to you too!

r82, thank you! I will definitely check out the book!

I'm OP and loving all your suggestions.

Thank you. I'm hugging my pug right now, and will stop the drink.

Good for you OP - even though you have fallen off the wagon you will get back on - because you have made the really important step which is admitting that you have a big fucking problem, and have then made the decision to try and do something about it.

I wish my ex had ever even done the first (admitting he had a big fucking problem, and his was a Godzilla scale monster)

In addition to AA etc there are also medications that may be of help, one being a thing called Naltrexone, there is also another one Acamprosate if that doesnt do it for you. There is quite a lot of recent research in this area and a number of promising new treatments coming out

[quote] A friend of mine drinks a lot and gets angry, he texted me that I was trash (projecting much?) and I wasn't good. Just being an asshole, half his texts don't even make sense.

[quote] How do I deal with someone like that? I can't avoid him because I have business dealings with him. I have to get along...

R51 detach and do so ASAP! You may have to take a few losses to bail out of those business dealings, but in the long run you'll be far better off. He sounds toxic as fuck, just like my ex who was a raging cunt when drunk which was pretty much every day. Honestly mate you're better out of it. Sooner or later he's going to royally fuck up whatever business you are both involved in if he isnt acknowledging his problem before it fucks over the both of you

Check in! How are you doing?

Hang in there 💪

[quote]R44 I will drink a bottle and maybe a glass from a second bottle. Occasionally, I stop drinking for several weeks just to prove I can walk away from it.

But you always come crawling back…

You're not a good person, r87.

You need to check why you would fuck with a person who is struggling with sobriety.

You seem to be baseless.

R44 is not OP, and not under the impression they “struggle with sobriety.”

R88 Is a fucking cunt who breeds out retarded flipper babies, go drink bleach and throw some on your nasty spawn

OP I want to be the first one to take you out to celebrate, drinks on me!!!!

Hang in there

Congratulations, OP! I’ll never quit, though. Life is too short, baby. Hahaha

I haven't been out drinking with friends for a while now but I want to buy vodka so bad. Sipping it or throwing it back while listening to music is bliss. And loneliness is a problem so...

Happy 4th! This will be my 10th without booze, hopefully it's your Independence day too, OP!

Congrats, OP! 👏 👏 👏

Our favorite gay Flight Attendant details his road to sobriety (at the 12:50 mark).

Is this day 55, or did you crumble?

Took me a yr to get over losing my dog , i know what u went through op, Congratulations on your wonderful new life .

Hang in there 💪

We should celebrate!!! Want to meet for drinks?

Mind over matter, OP. That's the solution. I'm proud of you.

Congrats, OP!

I recently hit the 8 month mark myself.

Rooting for ya, Darlin’!

This is OP - and I caved around Mother's Day. I didn't do well with it, and am still not doing well.

However, I saw this resurgence, and am actually going on a camping trip tomorrow for four days in which I won't be drinking at all (only going with a friend who thinks I'm still sober, and no, I'm not sneaking a flask or anything). I also started the process of cleaning up my home so I could come home to a better environment, less shame/guilt around what I've been up to since Mother's Day.

I'm sorry to disappoint you all. I disappointed myself too. But I'm ready to try again.

[quote]R104 am actually going on a camping trip tomorrow for four days in which I won't be drinking at all (going with a friend who thinks I'm still sober)

I guess this isn’t a very close friend. Why would they think you’re still sober?

I haven't told them I caved. I'm ashamed that I did.

We do get together at least every two weeks. I guess I pass muster.

Also, she's my best friend. I don't have any others, to be quite honest.

R104 OP, it took me about 4 years to get 1 year clean. Relapse is part of recovery. You don't have to stop drinking forever, you just can't drink today. I'm still proud of you, you can do it. And you will do it. And your friend won't be mad or disappointed, it happens. People relapse everyday, people also die from booze everyday, so keep trying.

Keep trying folks! Today is a new day!

That's right R109!

It's never too late to get up and go.

Still hanging in there?

Don't give up

I'm not. It helps to let go of people who constantly use you.

I have done that.

I quit drinking in 2018.

I let go of a person I loved since 2005 recently. He wasn't the person I thought he was. We've spent so many years together and apart but still finding so much to talk about (beyond sex).

I think this has taken a huge toll on me. I admit it here. It's been a big part of the reason I keep lapsing in and out of sobriety. It's the constant rejection but still wanting to talk and him getting attention.

I see that now.

Well, if you’re miserable without him and it’s making you drink, maybe go back to him even if he’s not perfect. Is he supportive of sobriety?

You have to do something different (go to AA, go back to your boyfriend, something/anything!) because you’ve been slipping and sliding in and out of trying not to drink for a year now (?) It’s obviously not working, so you’ll probably have to switch up something!

Good luck.

No, r115 it's not a year now. He's married and he carried on our relationship (without sex) for the last few years but kept trying to meet up with me. I had decided I was done with the sex part and thought we were friends/soulmates/people that understood each other and we talked often.

Then he went ballistic and decided to be a non-monogamous person (and told his wife this, too). He went to Las Vegas and let loose. And then he came back and said he wanted to keep doing it with his wife (who agreed) and really, everything we spoke about was now down to sex only. I was some of the best sex he ever had so now he wanted to try it since he got treatment for his ED.

I loved him for HIM. I loved our sex together but it was kind of over now. He'd decided he was committed. But now he wasn't...and I was back on the plate.

At this date/age, I was in nope territory. I still loved him, but i was tired of hearing about all his sexual exploits and just wanted back that bond we had...our friendship. i realized it was gone.

Therapy is in order.

It is, undoubtedly.

But his kid who is reporting on the Trump bullshit needs to take a pause too.

Good for you, OP. I drink wine now and then and can understand how the buzz can be enticing.

Well, relapse doesn’t have to be part of recovery but it happens. A lot. Honestly I don’t know if it’s better to tell everyone I Quit before there’s some real time there. I can understand the wanting another reason to be accountable, but the shame is greater if you crumble. Unless you’re in a program no one has to know until you’ve got some time and more strength. Except your group or sponsor if you go that way.

Can I ask a question?

If you keep repeating a question when you're drunk...for example, you ask if the alarm has been set for tomorrow. You ask several times when you're drunk....is that dementia?

that's usually short term memory loss, which happens when you get blazing drunk.

still drinking.

I'm starting to feel like gambling guy. But worse, really.

R121 its possible, heavy drinking will accelerate the onset of dementia

OP if you find that you keep lapsing in and out of sobriety it would be a good idea to seriously consider using a medication like what I mentioned at R85, it will help you break that cycle. I really want you to succeed and there is no shame in getting pharmaceutical assistance, what you are up against is a disease after all. We dont shame people who take meds for other illnesses

it's a brand new week folks! hang tough!