My Husband is Lakota Native American. Rosebud Reservation South Dakota.
His Lakota definition: First, it’s true that “Two-Spirit” is a way of describing Native American third gender traditions. BUT that the Lakota third-gender tradition is called Winkte and NOT Two Spirit.
“Two-Spirit” is actually a modern term coined in 1990 to encompass a broad range of different local traditions unique to different tribal cultures, and it’s usually preferred to think in terms of the local tradition first and foremost.
My Husband doesn’t explain it as a synonym for “gay” or “trans.” Although these traditions can and often do involve same-sex relations, and almost always express a gender at odds with that assigned at birth, traditionally they are not analogous to any modern Western majority-culture category. Such categories do no justice to the unique way in which these traditions functioned, nor to the differences between tribes. Of course, there is variety in how these terms are interpreted today, and some do use them to mean a Native American who is Gay in some sense, but traditionally they are not the same.
Many Lakota are understandably reticent to talk about it, given the history of settler culture misunderstanding Native gender and weaponizing it against them, as well as the ongoing stigma against gender variance today.
“In Lakota, there are no pronouns. We don’t have she and he. In Lakota, Men will speak differently than Women. We know their gender based on how they are talking and what words they are using. Suppose a Male-bodied individual speaks with the words of a Woman or a female-bodied person speaks with the words of a Man. In that case, they are Winkte — their gender being neither female nor male.”
As my Lakota Husband puts it, “Winkte means ‘different.’ It is neither Man nor Woman, but is a third group different from Men and Woman. That is why Winktes are regarded as sacred. Only Wakan Tanka, the great spirit, can explain it, so we accept it. Winktes are gifted persons.”
And my Husband and his people want nothing to do with "Two-Spirit" or put a color on a flag.