The Gays and Tennis, Part 165 -- Le Retour a la Terre Battue

Thiem team. Team Domicakes.

And today, I am Team Grigor...... let the gay win.

Domicakes

Fine and fuckable ass at R3.

WHET jockstraps? Would look much better under those shorts.

Poohey loses to Borges in Estoril.

Thanking R579 from the previous thread for the Arthur Fils bulbous, sweaty ass cleavage video.

Ucch - I could care less about gays and tennis, but your gif game is always on point!

R5 I can only remember Nadal and Feliciano Lopez wearing jockstraps over the last twnety years. Men under 40 do not wear those things.

Naomi has a new haircut.

I iz playing in Hooston.

Which next big tournament?

Monte Carlo R12.

Let the discussion begin.

Quite the dump truck in the OP.

R9 not true with gay men.

Keeping the Challenger Hotties train on the tracks, I proudly present pretty Paraguayan, Dani Vallejo - winner of the Sao Leo Open title in Brasil.

^^^^ you are doing God's work!

[quote] I proudly present pretty Paraguayan

One can only hope for a gay wheelchair athlete so there can be a paragay.

Luca Nardi just posted on Instagram that he won another challenger. He's still bulging magnificently. That thing must be huge.

Sad to see the delicious Joao Sousa take his final bow in Estoril against Arthur Fils after 16 years on the tour, winning 4 titles.

Yeah. Sousa is delicious.

When Legz was showing ass....

^^^^ damm gurl

It's not real, the (French) person who tweeted it originally said it was 'un montage'

thank Christ, Taffy

passing the torch

Wow, Fils was so classy in winning. He let it be about Sousa playing his last match.

I'm a fan.

Shap has dropped like a rock - outside of the top 100 and routined by a 30+ year old journeyman who was irrelevant as a junior while Shapo was seen as a sure top-5 player. The Canadian media and fans spoke of Shapo as a future Grand Slam winner.

Maybe in pickleball?

The only thing admirable about Shapo besides certain aspects of his appearance (e.g., blond leg hair) is his work with animal shelters.

I think that the Canadians over-do the training, or under-do the training, because they're all injured an' shit all the time.

He's a heck of a rapper!

Is this where we discuss PPA North Carolina Cup?

Shapo isn't unique in not panning out. Happens to plenty of highly touted juniors. He was sort of realizing potential for a while when he made Wimbledon 2021 semis AO 2022 quarterfinals. But, he's fallen sharply the past few years. Was injured for a bit, but still. He looked terrible vs. Giron in Houston.

Mopsy slices thru Zizou

I dunno. I've always admired his baby blues.

Nuno playing Lore now in Estoril.

Damm that's some eye candy.

I want to play with this eye candy.

Video of Marcos Giron and J.J. Wolf. They are the “Quad Squad”.

Cris Garin is currently scrapping with Arthur Fils.

The Horny Tennis Gods are smiling upon us today!

[quote]I want to play with this eye candy

lol....I think that's a fake picture of Robby Ginepri

Nadal has withdrawn from the upcoming Monte Carlo Masters, saying his body is not yet ready for competition

Nadal needs to retire. Period. Even if his body is ready, I doubt that he could endure more than a couple of matches.

Yep, he should just come out for Roland Garros and play a couple of matches and bow out with dignity on the big stage.

All this "will he, won't he?" from tournament to tournament is just becoming a circus at this point.

I think he wants to play Roland Garros and the Olympics at Roland Garros. Sucks for the would-be last Spanish team member if he does. But, I'd assume the Spanish Federation would give him a slot, even if at this very moment based on ranking and form he really doesn't deserve it. He should just play Roland Garros - "his" tournament - and retire. He can come back and soak up everything at the Olympics. Fans will cheer anytime he's flashed to on the big screen. He can award the medals. Just be a tennis legend presence and people will be appreciative.

I don't think I've seen American player Nicolas Moreno De Alboran before, but he's into the Marrakech QF

I've never heard of him.

Apparently, he's 26, played at UC Santa Barbara and has done little on tour - career high ranking of 121 (until now I presume). So QF of even a 250 main level tour event is huge.

Maybe he'll be another Marcos Giron. I don't think his ass is big enough though.

NMDA has been making it out of qualies with some regularity of late. (Don't know much about him, but I've noticed the name in main draws.)

El Gaucho!

[quote] El Gaucho!

Who is that?

R47’s pic, dummy

A mouthful tomorrow in the Estoril QF: Nicolas Moreno de Alboran v Roberto Carballes Baena

Danielle Collins has won 10 matches in a row, including two today! Sloane should be the one retiring not Danielle.

Is Nadal going to retire?

R42, Why do you think that's fakie? Ginepri was a huge shirtless favorite of mine years ago, and your pic seems to align with my memory.

Yes, I agree, it is time for Rafa to say goodbye. It's too painful for us fans to deal with the will he/won't he. And it's probably just as painful for him.

I shall go watch the 2013 US Open final on youtube to celebrate all things Rafa.

[quote][R42], Why do you think that's fakie?

Not R42 's picture, but the Tumblr image R39 posted

Genie Bikini finally won her 1st pickleball match!

^^^^ and she didn't slip on the court and sue someone?

Where is he this week? I need a fix.

Alas, Tomas is giving those tired Legz+ a rest until Barcelona.

"Let's Go Brandon!" / "Fuck You Shelton!"

You decide!

Mopsy!

The Monte Carlo draw is out.

Gironass video.

^ somebody is reading the DL in Marcos's camp

For you Lore fans.

^^^^ DAMM!

r59, You do what you need to do, you've been a loyal fan.

I don't think Rafa would enter a tournament he didn't think he could win. He should skip RG and play the Olympics where he can retire with the team rather than have some sad dismissal in the second round.

His shameful deal with the Saudis has tainted his career ending.

Rafa will have plenty of time in retirement for romantic candlelit dinners with his lover/trainer.

Haha! R72 said “taint”.

Purdy Pedro Martinez comes through to outmuscle Casper Ruud and get through to the final in Estoril.

A really great match!

Etcheverry and Shelton going to a third set in the Houston semi.

Etcheverry team or Mopsy team?

Very Very Etcheverry Team / Never Ever Mopsy Team

Etcheverry Team

Looks like Casper ghosted the match (insert groan).

Seriously, he shouldn’t be losing to a player like that.

[quote] Seriously, he shouldn’t be losing to a player like that.

Well it was outside a 250.

Oops. I stand corrected: Estoril is a 250.

Estoril is no longer after this year.

Mopsy up a break in the 3rd

Shelton wins.

Mopsy, bishes!

I like Mopsy. His energy's almost always positive and upbeat, and he clearly loves the game. His celebrations may be a little over the top and shticky sometimes, but that's probably from all the college tennis he's played plus seeing it as a kid when his father was coaching the Gators and the Yellow Jackets.

^^^^ I like him, too.

Plus his body is insane.

What’s “Gators”, precious? What’s “Gators”?

University of Florida.

He has a good body, but "insane"?

There was a vid of him hitting serves shirtless that was posted here a while ago. Let's just say I haven't forgotten it.

Insane, for tennis. ;)

R89 really? On a sports thread?

Shitless Wuud.

Not insane but cute.

Rafa is at the Copa del Rey final right now, looking tense, as well he might. Mallorca is tied with Athletic Club Bilbao, 1-1, in overtime.

Hubie takes the title over a knackered Martinez in Estoril; and Berrettini over a similarly fatigued Carballes Baena in Marrakech.

All eyes now switched to the antics over in Monte Carlo.

See?

Lovely Matteo ditched the sex-crazed PP and got his mojo back!

And in Monte Carlo it's DL boyfriends Fritz v. Musetti starting play in the first round, after yet another DL boyfriend Coric just double-breadsticked Bublik.

The Bublik enemy.

Porna has shorn his locks again :-(

It's a Tale Of Two Daddys - Daddy Fritz Vs Papa Mussetti!

Daddy Fritz team or Musetteami?

damn that's a tough one

I'd like to be spit-roasted in the middle

Musetteami per favore!

I forgot Monte Carlo main draw starts today.

Fritz should really be Boss Daddy now given the clothing sponsor change.

Papa Musetti takes out Daddy in straight sets. Another first round/early round loss for Taylor.

His famewhore PP sliding into Benny Shelton's Insta DMs as I type...

Fritz goes down the first day of Monte Carlo. I assume he's in Europe until the French. Would love to know what a high ranked player does when they lose so early. Stay at the tournament site for a few days and practice. Immediately on to the next location and train. Training and some tourism somewhere else in Europe? Go home for a few days, even if it is far?

I mean it's clay. I don't think any American expects to win many matches.

His girlfriend will be spending his money - that's what he'll be doing.

Shelton has a girlfriend, an Olympic-level track & field athlete, not an "influencer."

Rafa always had it right, leave the distraction at home.

Yeah, Anna Hall. She's a track athlete - the heptathalon - who also went to Florida. Tiafoe's GF was a pretty good tennis player for UCLA, though she doesn't play professionally.

Daddy Fritz is not clay specialist.

You think a mere girlfriend would stop a Famewhore $$$Crazy Influencer like Ms Riddle from trying?

T. Fritz did reach the semi-final in Monte Carlo last year, so he had a lot of points to defend

They have replays of past Monte Carlo finals on Tennis TV right now. Short shorts vs. mid or longer shorts is often discussed here in regard to tennis or other sports. But, watching these older matches reveals the horror show of elbow length tops. Gross. Upper tricep length is much better. Golfers had a similar change with their tops over time - generally.

Oh, Daddy

Collins wins her second consecutive tourney. Good for her.

12 in a row for Collins. Venus is probably watching thinking maybe if I announce my retirement I might win a match again for the first time in a millenium.

Venus is going to be the first to play with both a racquet and a cane.

[quote] Venus is going to be the first to play with both a racquet and a cane.

They all do. All of them! They drive Subarus too!

Do we think she's lesbyterian? I kinda do.

Collins is having a dream final run. I wish everyone went out on such a high.

Hope she had a nice summer run.

Mopsy up a break in the 3rd in Houston.

.....

Mopsy wins Houston!

got the guns

[quote] insane

someone at Getty Images agrees

....

Butter face.

Sew his mouth up and put 3 bags (fastened securely!) over his head and maybe he's shaggable.

Ooooh Lovely Laslo and Titsy on next!

And in the current ATP live rankings, Mopsy tops Fritz as the #1 Yank, and Bratz drops out of the top 10.

Norrie team or K. Hemsworth team?

Karen!

bye Laslo :-(

Fils plays Lore tomorrow

yum

Why is Daddy falling apart? :(

^^^^ the PP, obviously

Losing to Musetti on clay isn't a bad loss, but Fritz has been on an overall downward trajectory. He's still ranked top 15, but it doesn't feel like he'll be challenging for anything significant right now.

Some of you may like this player, Andrea Pellegro.

I meant to write Andrea Pellegrino. I just copied his Instagram name.

Il Gingio e bambino.

Il Gingio e molto simpatico!

R144 Holy SHIT.

Marcos Giron, former DL tennis thread favorite, continues to disappoint.

Carlitos withdraws from Monte Carlo due to an injury. Replaced with Sonego.

I think Sebastian Korda is the last American player left in the draw, he will play Sinner in the 2nd round

Is he lucky loser?

[quote]Some of you may like this player, Andrea Pellegrino

I remember him, he used to wear big earrings like some kind of gypsy player

Yes, r152, a REALLY lucky loser, because he gets a bye into the 2nd round. Does anyone know if he'll get paid as if he won the first-round match?

Three of my boys had good wins today: Struffi over Porna; Tomy Etcheverry over Jarry - who's quite the cunt on the evidence of this match!); and La Monf over Vukic.

Gael's now back in the Top 40. There's life in the vieux chien yet!

Papa Musetti outmuscles Fils and points to his penis in celebration. What a guy!

Forgot the link!

Yikes, r150, another Alcaraz injury?

Jarry is a cunt, yes.

Demon with a good, straight-sets win over Stanimal

Hubie takes out the Draper and the candlestick maker

Wubie in freefall!

Straight sets defeat to Popyrin. Loses a ton of ranking points due to the fact that he won the event last year. The next 4 players are now within a few hundred ranking points so he could soon be out the Top 10 if he doesn't turn things around PDQ.

Rublev also needs to get his personality in check when playing. He acts like a little bitch.

Sebi K getting steamrolled by Il Gingio

Lillian’s blasts his balls in California.

Kokkinakis blasts his balls in California.

Kokkinakis autocorrects to “Lillian’s” apparently.

Saw bits of that match, r160. Stanimal should avoid any further embarrassment and retire asap. He was overweight, often winded, and almost always late to the ball.

Sad to say, because I’ve always been a fan, but he needs to stop.

Brat/Legz team or Nagal team?

Nagal Team Every Day And Twice On Sundays!

Thiccmanovic Team or Young Grigor Team?

(Not so) young Grigor team.

what do we think of Legz's new kit?

I do.

FAA goes out to a LL.

^ Are you getting married?

R172....

Felix wears yellow better.

I’m not a fan of bright colors, including yellow, but it suits him. He looked much better in the rust/clay-colorex ones from a couple seasons back.

FAA looks great in that yellow.

Colored not colorex.

Shapo Shelter video with Shapo himself.

^ better pussy than Boss Daddy or ODS Tommy, by a mile

Or they all suck. We can do better than those three.

[quote] Or they all suck. We can do better than those three.

Which three?

^Fritz, Shapo, and Paul

^ speak for yourself, I'd hit all 3

at the same time

Medvedev being an utter cunt and rightly just penalised a point. ATP really needs to clamp down on these disrespecftul, spoiled entitled brats.

The way they treat officials is totally out of order.

Novaxx team or Musetteami?

Struff team or Il Gingio team?

Brat/Legz team or (Not So) Young Grigor team?

Sonego team or Humbert Humbert team?

Hubie team or Wuud team?

Musetteami, Struff, UGOAT and Ruud Teams.

Tak fordi du spurgte!

Il Gingio Team

(NS)YG Team

Bi-Lo Sonego Team

Wuud Team

Oh damn, Rune takes the first set in a tiebreaker, 11-9.

Tweety gets thumped in the second set.

Keep going YG!

[quote]Tweety gets thumped in the second set

I don't like the Tweety color against the red clay.....it clashes

Jeez, Hubie's going down quicker than a whore's drawers!

[quote] Hubie's going down quicker than a whore's drawers!

Is that a reference to Daddy Fritz’s girlfriend?

Casper won! Yay!

[quote] Yay!

I’m so happy.

This made me laugh: "Holger Rune's mum vaping mid match has to be the most iconic tennis parent moment ever."

Awesome fightback from the UGOAT against Sonego.

He took a nasty tumble towards the end of the first set, and looked down and out until the middle of the second. He then rattled off 9 games out of the next 10.

Legz

Demon with another good win

Another Shapo Shelter video featuring Shapo.

Do small cats open their eyes?

R200 PLEASE STOP POSTING THAT HOMOPHOBE HERE.

Everyone who even mentions the disgusting homophobe will get the block from me.

Rune.

R206 Goodye cunt.

Casper looks good in his new kit.

R199, I really love Humbert’s face in that photo. He could easily play a Florentine noble at the Medici court, and would look pretty fine in the period tight leggings as well.

R205, you are yet again, incorrect AND you keep asserting it.

So backwoods.

Humbert’s face looks like what Matt Rife’s surgeons were aiming for. They missed.

Tweety being an obnoxious little bitch once again. Just when you think he's improving.

God, I hope he loses!

R212, he does look like Tweety. Apt comparison.

Thank you, Jannik.

“Nole” team or Minotaur/Hitlerstasche team?

Humbert Humbert team or Wuud team?

Minotaur/Righteousness Team

UGOAT/Mission Top 10 Team

[quote]Everyone who even mentions the disgusting homophobe will get the block from me.

Well you have certainly stated your boundaries!

Poor Sebi Korda got robbed

a bad week for Sebi

I feel bad for Korda, but who on God’s earth needs to wear a watch that expensive? He should have donated the 300,000 euros to charity.

Plus, I’m sure it was insured.

Watch companies have typically sponsored tennis players. He may have gotten it as part of a sponsorship, though I don't know for sure.

Do there would have been no true loss—he can just call a sponsor for back-up? He’s not even that good.

R218, Nadal has had two even more expensive watches stolen. Of course, they had been given to him by a sponsor.

Legz puts up an admirable fight vs. Sinner. Tsitsipas seems back from the dead, at least for now, though he still hasn't played a very top player like Novak, Alcaraz, Sinner. Can see that he's feeling more comfortable on the clay. I want both Rune and Tsitispas to be in good form for the clay season. Makes things more interesting, especially since we sort of "lose" Medvedev as a true contender (his 2023 Rome win notwithstanding).

Titsy has won Monte Carlo twice, right? He can play on clay (plus the RG final). He's definitely 'a contendah'. I don't know if he can get by Il Gingio tomorrow unless Jannik is gassed.

I’m glad Wuud won. I think he’s hot though certainly not everyone’s cup of tea on the Gays and Tennis.

Cute Casper

Jannik's matchstick thighs have gained some

Tsitsy/Citybus team or Il Gingio team?

Novaxx/"Nole" team or Wuud team?

Ruud is kindd of plain.

R224 it is so bizarre Med snuck in a Rome victory. He's so bad on clay.

I hope Casper can at least make it somewhat competitive today against Novak.

Competitive? I'm hoping for a full Creatinicide.

Il Gingio Team

Wuud Team

Stefanos pulls off the upset, over a Sinner who was looking spent towards the end.

Let's hope Casper can keep it going.

Wuud.

Wuud team.

Casper up 2 breaks.

Dare we BELIEVE?

Shapo at the press announcement for the Tiriac Open.

Is this where we talk about Tiriac Open?

Brief Shapo video regarding Tiriac Open.

YES CASPER YES!!!!

OMG! I just saw that sweet widdle Wuud pulled it off!

He may just have to be my Wublev replacement - since Andrej is really struggling, one way or another. He wears me out (I wish).

CASPER!!!!!

Strangely anticlimactic win, with the crowd sort of gasping in confusion more than cheering at first.

Wuuuuuuuud!

(and not at a 250!)

OMG!!!!!! Casper did it! I'm so proud and happy for him😭

Tsisty/Citybus team or Wuud team?

This is exactly what I'm hoping for in the 'post Big 3' (sorry, Judy) era: lots of the big tournaments where you could expect any of the Top 10-15 to be possible contenders for finals and titles.

I'm happy for Titsy and for Wuud! Nice to see Titsy playing well again. He should have won that RG final and his FH and athleticism are wonderful to behold. Wuud held his nerve and Novaxx crumbled in the last game.

I like both of them and it should be a good match.

@ R239

He looks great. Gawd he has beautiful eyes.

Titsy

Wuud

Team Ruud over eons-bathroom-break, racket-smashing, condescending, sulky, every-possible-Bedosa-PDA Tsitsipas.

Wuud gives me Wood.

You talked me into it, R252. Wuud for the win!!

Wuud team

Tsitsy Team.

Sheftanosh Shishispash Team

Liza and Elmer Fudd on The Gays and Tennis Threads

because natch!

Aw I love this little interview with Amritrage - somebody upthread said his manic behavior annoyed them but I think he's adorable, but not as much as Casper is. Go woobie Wuud!!

Wuuuuuuud.

Wuuuuune.

Barcelona draws are out.

Legz+ is back in Barcelona

Alcaraz out of Barcelona. Nadal statement in 5, 4, 3, 2...

[quote]Legz+ is back in Barcelona

Woot!

Legz+ is LIFE.

STIFFY-NOS!

I knew Casper would lose :(

Our maybe gay, French dubs specialist, Fabien Reboul, keeps the thirst traps coming!

^^^^ Mais il est joli!

R266 letdown after the big win is very common in tennis. The times it causes the player be begin playing spirited tennis they go on to either win or come close. The women notoriously fall after taking down a top player.

^ Captain Obvious

Who is doubles specialist?

Sadly when it comes to tournaments > 250, Caspar has that same finals monkey on his back that Felix did.

And with Carlitos out, we're stuck with Novaxx at #1 until at least Rome. Bleah

Casper*

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I'd love to watch Reboul and Fils go at it, R267.

the new American #1

Congrats, Mopsy!

Cheeky Spanish hottie, Alejandro Canas Moro steals the first set from a traumatised Thiem

Thiem team.

Domicakes team.

C'mon Domicakes!

Unknown Spanish Hottie Thiem

Andy Roddick talks about the new 'big three' on his podcast (Sinner, Alcaraz & Medvedev)

R277, Thiem was probably traumatized by the hotness that is Alejandro Moro Canas and especially by the fact that he now has serious competition in the trunk compartment.

ALEJANDROOOOOO!!!!

Spray-on shorts were clearly the key to his victory!

Next victim: Daddy!

Legz+++

That is one handsome man! And Poor Thiem....

Legz+ in dubs action with Z-cube

Legz+ZZZ make a good doubles team.

Today iz my burthday! Yay!

Thank u ATP Tur!

two great shots of Shapo

Why are Spanish guys always so hot? I'm not complaining btw, just wondering.

R291 That bit of admixture of Arab or Moorish blood?

With Italians, I always thought the nose often had Semitic influence (large, sort of hooked downward?) I'm not counting the Germanic Jannik Sinner type of Italian.

Not everyone in Spain or Italy of course, but a lot of them.

Greeks also have a special look - a bit Picasso-esqe? And do all three tend to have curls?

Oh shit, I need to see my racist self out of the room...

Rublev just lost in straights to Nakashima. He broke his racket after the last point. The man needs a psychiatrist fast. He is not well.

Who else can’t stand Andy Roddick? I can’t be the only one. I wish he’d shut up and I wish his wife would make him throw away those pathetic baseball caps.

Andy - We know you don’t have any hair. It’s not that big a deal.

I like Roddick for the most part. I almost always enjoy his take on things.

I like Roddick a lot.

Nakashima seems to be playing well; he was out for a fair amount of time.

Rublev used to be a 5-8 ranked player who you thought might be on the cusp of doing bigger things. Now it's the opposite; he's on the cusp of being a lower level player. Maybe not being able to get over the Slam QF hump drove him insane. 0-10. He seems so sweet off court.

The Gays and Tennis is one of my most treasured things about DL.

We love you too. R298.

I actually love Andy Roddick

Another vote for Andy Roddick. He knows his tennis, can hold an intelligent conversation on all things contemporary, and swiftly swats away the MAGA comments he comes across on twitter. He’s even on the right side in the WTA–Saudi Arabia debate.

Andy has been a friend to the gay community.

Yet another pro Andy DLer. He's smart, funny, self deprecating and liberal. If only he could have won that 2009 Wimby!

And man was it fun to watch Rafa again. He's not even close to his normal, winning form, but he had a couple great moments.

How many times did he pull his underwear out of his butt?

That's always a great drinking game.

Gee, R304, how very 2006 of you to bring that up.

Another Roddick fan.

He was great in his post-match pressers: quick-witted, self-denigrating and very funny.

the front-view wasn't too bad, either

....!

It must have been freezing in Munich today. The spectators are wearing ski-jackets and parkas!

^Yeah, I don't know who thought it was a good idea to have an outdoor tournament in Germany in April. I think they even had snow a couple of years ago

R306, that pic never gets old.

'A thing of beauty is a joy forever.'

the forecast for Munich

snow tennis is a thing!

Looking forward to Holger Rune's tweets about playing in the snow.

Is there any one better dressed on the court than Rafa Nadal?

Looking forward to Holger Rune under an avalanche.

Hell is a never-ending match between Marta Kostyuk and Laura Siegemund.

Nadal gets spanked. No shock there.

Another good win for The Demon!

RAFAEL NADAL'S COLLAPSE IS COMPLETE.

yikes

He had that same look when he watched me give birth.

The Gauff/Vickery match in Sttutgart is pretty good! Coco is still having trouble with her serve and Vickery is a fighter. Each took a set; it's 4 all in the 3rd.

ATP players ask Young Grigor questions

featuring FAA, Djokovic, the Kokk, Tommy Paul, Bublik & Hubi

Glamorpuss Swee

Rafa actually played a great first set starting with the third game.

He just ran out of gas.

I think he'll actually be okay by RG - especially if he can win two or three rounds at both Madrid and Rome. Maybe he won't win RG, but he'll put up a good fight.

He should retire at RG this year.

Rafa, I'm sure, is very eager to spend more time with Mary.

Old Rafa leather face needs to get out of the sun. Was cute before - now ugly af.

Predicting Rafa is trying to retire after the olympics. Rolland Garros will be so emotional this year.

Unfortunately, he Rafa we saw yesterday at Barcelona isn’t going beyond the second round of the French Open.

Cunt stop commenting on that homophobe.

R331 and I doubt that he can play one five set match.

True, r333. And sad.

Is it sad? This is a guy he,ping the Saudis with their sports washing. His character has been revealed and it’s ugly.

R332, you simpleton girl, I thought you were blocking anybody who mentioned Rune. Do it already!

I will admit that I'm mildly surprised that you said "cunt." I would have thought that you were far too scarred from some 1957 schoolyard bully who picked on you after he saw you playing with your Barbie doll. You've grown into someone who says things that are untrue, AND you lash out with the "c" word.

Again, I'm mildly surprised...

Mi Tomy querido, comes out on top after an almighty 3-set brawl with Nakashima.

They were both whacking seven bells out of those poor tennis balls.

Barcelona was Rafa's first dip back in the pool. He did show some brilliance at times. If he stays healthy and can get more match-tough in Madrid and Rome, he might be able to do fairly well at RG. I hope he can go out on his own terms, he deserves that.

The Saudis are also rooting for him, since he’s a partner. They root for him when they aren’t busy dismembering pesky journalists.

Arthur Fils thumps Demon in straight sets - 2 breaks in the second. Will probably flop massively in the next round, as is his wont.

But Fils is making progression slowly. He really hasn't done anything yet to suggest that he's anything more than the 30-something ranked player he is. So, I'm not sure losing after winning 2 matches as a 500 will really be a "flop" unless the gets absolutely smoked.

^at a 500.

R341 - yes I meant flop as in play poorly. Obviously, getting through to a Quarters at a 500 is good progress.

I think Fils clearly has the talent to be Top 10, eventually, but he's going to have to work on his attitude and consistency. He does come across as a little lazy and that his head has been turned by all the hype. Not at all uncommon, but it will be interesting to see how far and how quickly he makes progress.

Good points. My bad for misunderstanding, R343.

Let's hope that phat Fils has finally found his feet on clay. For a teenager, he seems to have a solid head on his shoulders despite all the hype. None of the nonsense that we've seen from Unmentionable Brat.

CHALLENGER HOTTIE ALERT!

I present Stefano Napolitano for your consideration. 7 wins on the bounce and beat Fog today. Has a touch of the Maxime Cressy's about him, to my eyes.

Fog's lucky he wasn't defaulted yesterday.

Emma has won two matches in row! When’s the last time she hit the Quarters of anything?

You know that Valentino is going to go to his tanning salon with this picture and demand the same skin color. It's okay, this is Italy, they can do black face.

R348 Four if you include her wins last week in the Billie Jean King Cup!

The Fog has always been a bit of a douche. Handsome, hawt, and very talented. But a douche.

Legz+ and Z-cube are in the dubs QFs in Barcelona. Didn't Legz+ give a walk-over to his opponent in singles?

Estoy confundida.

R338 is exactly right.

Rafa, more than Novak and Fed, needs matches to gain confidence, He always has. If he can win two or three matches each at Madrid and Rome AND if he can get his serve back to normal? He'll be at least a tough out at RG.

if he can get his serve back to normal... That's a huge IF

Daddy Team or Big Jack D Team?

Hope Ruud wins. Praying he finally wins a final. Would be nice if that was Barcelona!

Does Big Jack have a PP?

R357 I've not seen any evidence of PP on his social media, or gossip on Tennis Twitter.

Well, then!

Team Big Jack

First 500 semi final incoming for Mi Tomy after a good double tie-break win over a tetchy Norrie.

Piernas+ !

Zverev losing to Garin and being an obnoxious, rat-faced little bitch. Shocking, I know...

Dreamy Garin turns the back the clock to the heady days of 2021 and dispatches rat-faced cunt, Zverev, in straight sets. Played beautifully!

[quote]And in the current ATP live rankings, Mopsy tops Fritz as the #1 Yank

It only lasted 1 week, Fritz will be the American no. 1 again after Munich

I see Brat+ has come dressed as a particularly irritating wasp, today...

Fritz's reign is likely to end again soon, R363. He has 1100 points to defend before the US Open. Shelton has only 290 points to defend.

Legz prevails in the hail and snow.

Look at the freezing peeps in the stands!

Hope his mom was able to get his ciggies lit.

Emma earns her keep—played close to Iga.

Maybe she actually has something to show this year?

R364 Goodbye. Stop posting that disgusting homophobic prick here.

Coco choke-o. Again!

D'awww. I'll miss you R364, ya freak!

Legz+ and Z-cube into the dubs semis, bishes!

Runs is ruined…let’s all move on.

I hate to be rude, but there’s room for only one Scandinavian —his name is Rudd

I was using my ouija as a keyboard just now —sorry ^

R373 is sad and can't spell. The rest of you should tune in tomorrow for my semifinal in Munich. I'll be wearing my short shorts and playing a lot of great points in it!

R375

R373 had already apologized and acknowledged the error, before you got off the pot and tried to piss.

Legz doesn't know his SF opponent yet. FAA and Struff got rained (or snowed) out today.

[quote] I'll be wearing my short shorts

Which brand of makeup will you wear?

Even the short shorts aren't enough to distract us from that hideous Hingis face.

Speaking of Rafa, it pains me to look at him now. I thought he was SO hawt when he was younger. Joli-laid, as the French say.

The effects of being a full time father and husband.

peak Rafa

Peek

Garin won against Zverev! This makes me so happy.

[quote] This makes me so happy.

Yay!

Kom igjen Casper!

VAMOSSSSSSS TOMY!

Struffi Team or The Brat That Dares Not Speak His Name Team?

Daddy Fritz in his first clay final! I noticed the PP hasn't been in his box this week. Maybe it's just too cold for her.

And Novaxx's feet are still too cold.

R390. The less I see of Novaxx, the happier I am! Ditto, Kyrgios.

Princess Holger wins JUST 2 games in 2 sets against Mighty Struff. It's now a year since his last ATP title.

HOLGER WIN NEVER BE QUEEN!

^ the match only lasted 45 minutes!

Swiatek and Rybakina have a pretty good rivalry going. It's unfortunate that neither is a particularly compelling personality.

[quote] ^ the match only lasted 45 minutes!

It’s WTA match.

Not very surprising, but Muguruza announced her retirement

Iga gone-a

Boss Daddy!

Casper won! Yay! On to another final, which he will probably lose... sigh.

[quote] Yay!

I’m so happy.

[quote]On to another final, which he will probably lose

Well, his opponent Tsitsipas lost all 10 previous ATP 500 finals he played

Muguruza hanging it up is no surprise. She wasn’t mentally cut out for the tour.

Shame, though, because she had talent.

Mugurutha.

(Not so) Muguruthless

Mugucunt.

I liked Mugu. She didn't seem like a cunt at all. And she's pretty. Is she lesbyterian?

Mugu is engaged to one of her fans, some weird guy who has tried and failed to land other female athletes. He finally snagged one.

Yeah, it's a weird story

I'm convinced that the only reason Fritz is in the final is because his annoying girlfriend isn't with him. She's back in LA, pretending to play tennis.

Boss Daddy would be in the top 5 without the blood- and whatever-sucking PP!

How bout Struffi over FAA in a tough 2-setter and rolling over Legz just hours later?

He's a big boy and hits a big ball!

I'm a longtime Struff fan, but he'll be 34 this week. Good to see him thriving at this late stage of his career.

Muguruza had a good run. She's probably high on the list of most forgettable 2-Slam winners. Nevertheless, two Slams is two Slams. 10 titles overall, two Slams, 1 other Slam final, No. 1 ranking. She'll most likely make the HOF.

They’ll let anybody into the HOF. Just ask Muguruza’s coach.

If only that were true...

What does PP mean?

She had a lot of talent (more than say Kerber or Halep) but was never the most tenacious and wilted under pressure. And I think after she won two slams the motivation slipped.

PP = Poopy Pants

no no no it's Poison Pussy and here's Tommy Paul's

Taylor's expression in R398 indicates perhaps the former PP.

He always has that expression when he plays. I don't think he likes, let alone loves, tennis. His mom was a pro and he can make a nice living doing it, but that's as far as it goes. He's also too dumb to do anything else.

Novaxx skips the Madrid tournament

Tommee Pooll

"She had a lot of talent (more than say Kerber or Halep) but was never the most tenacious and wilted under pressure. And I think after she won two slams the motivation slipped."

I'm not seeing more talent. How? She was the straightest of straight-forward power baseliners with not that much variety in her game. I'm not saying she wasn't talented, she certainly was. But more so than Halep and Kerber?

Boss Daddy Team or Struffi Team?

Titsy Team or Wuud Team?

Struffi and Wuud

Let’s call it what it was: Mugu was head case.

You could watch her mentally unravel in matches, especially her last couple of years. It was painful to behold.

I'll have what R426 is having... plus sweet, smiley ray of sunshine, Navone, in the Bucharest final.

Lena Rybakina won a Porsche but doesn't have a driver's license.

SUPER STRUFFI!

Stoked for him!

Casper on the cusp!

5-2...

WTF was that poor excuse for a trophy that Sloane won at Rouen?! So cheap.

The doubles winners at Stuttgart got Tag Heuer watches, even. Struff and Rybakina won luxury cars.

It’s doubles match.

Now THIS is a goddamn proper trophy!

Ruud over the 250 hump. Ain't no stopping him now.

Wuud.

Wuud team.

Ruud and Tsitsi were bulging beautifully today. Rudd hangs right.

Did someone say hump Ruud?

Sloane's "trophy" looks like something that was printed off on the tournament director's office computer then glued to some cardboard and finally cut into the shape of a circle.

Sloane upon receiving her trophy.

French ceramics too sophisticated for you?^

Congrats to Cute Casper!

I love that he so unapologetically worships Rafa.

I’m elated for Ruud, and I hope this victory will pave the way for him to become more of a threat at the Majors.

I think there was a moment when Mugu won Wimbledon and RG within a year of each other that she was thought to be the new dominant force and the face of women's tennis. She was so striking looking both facially and physically and had a global appeal but she just couldn't handle it. Ultimately, her game couldn't really stand up to the force of some other big hitters and whatever momentum she had went away. It was too bad because she, unlike say Kerber or some others seemed to have the goods to be a superstar transcending the sport ala Serena...

She did? I honestly don't remember. I remember her being talked about as potential high(er)-level champion, but not a transcendent sports star known far outside of tennis circles. I guess we never had a chance to find out. She was a pretty mediocre mover, so that was working against her besides her mental issues.

R446, it didn't happen, but I think that was the hope for the WTA/sponsors, etc. in light of Serena's pregnancy/retirement and Sharapova's positive test/retirement. Sharapova was a mediocre mover, too (it improved later)

Is Taitsipas now 0 for 11 in 500 finals?

Muguruza’s fiancé’s first wedding!

R448 did you mean Taintsipas?

The Media Hype Machine is desperate for any pretty female tennis player to be new dominant forces on the tour. It's boring when a fug like Iga wins so much. They like when the cute girls like Rybakina and Raducanu do well; if they can stay healthy, god willing.

Struff's sexy black stockings really showcased his skinny chicken legs. But oh well. His first ATP title and in his home country - I guess I have to suck it up. Come on Hot Daddy! Get out of your slump. (well, a final's pretty good I guess)

Tsitsipas has won the YEC and multiple Masters-level titles.

When is year end championship?

March, R454.

Mugu is not lez? WTF with these WTA players? They throw off everything

[quote] Mugu is not lez?

They all are!

Where you, Margaret?

R452 Wait? What? Fritz's chicken legs are second only to Berrettini! Struff's legs are tree trunks by comparison!

^^^^ is he playing on stilts??!

Domicakes plays a Brazilian qualifier (Meligeni Alves) in Madrid today.

Auf geht es, Domicakes! Get up!

Poor poor Paula Badosa may have to retire due to her back injury.

First victim of Stefanos's PP (Poison Penis)?

Nadal will play his 1st round match in Madrid against 16 yr old American starlet Darwin Branch, who received a wild card

Ben Shelton has a 16-year old little brother?

Crazy that Nadal already had 3 French Opens under his belt before this kid was even born.

[quote]Ben Shelton has a 16-year old little brother?

Yeah, looks like Mopsy 2.0

I made an error, it's Darwin Blanch (not Branch)

There's a whole gaggle of Blanches--Ulises, Dali, Darwin and Krystal.

That is sad about Badosa -- she is very talented.

[quote]There's a whole gaggle of Blanches--Ulises, Dali, Darwin and Krystal.

Don't forget Anthony Blanche!

Domicakes WINS!

R469. That’s Grandpa!

[quote]Poor poor Paula Badosa may have to retire due to her back injury.

Steph must be putting her through the headboard on the regular

[quote]Steph must be putting her through the headboard on the regular

P-Push it real good!

D. Blanch was shocked to find out he's playing Nadal

Welcome to the Big Time, Darwin.

^^Butcha are Blanch, ya are.

So, three Blanch brothers and one sister are playing pro tennis, but none ranked very high yet. Reminds me of the Washington family who had four siblings who played on tour - one of whom - Malvai - had a good career: made it to No. 10, made a Slam final, had a few other decent Slam runs (QF, 4th Rd(x 5), won 4 ATP-level tournaments, beat some big names.

Venus and Serena are the undisputed best sibling duo in tennis history.

The Maleeva sisters are probably the undisputed best sibling trio.

I'd imagine there hasn't been that many sibling quads.

^Malivai not Malvai

Ahem!

Darwin is a promising talent but at least a couple years away from being ready for the tour.

So you expect him to evolve into a great player?

It's really hard to tell. The age curve for male players has gone up generally over the years. I don't think we'll see a Boris Becker or Michael Chang winning slams at 17 again. Of course there are still huge, young talents like Alcaraz. Rune was a established presence as teenager. More modestly, someone like Fils made it to top 40 when still a teenager (as one recent example). Those are but a few examples, but they were all late teens. Given that his physical development is far from over and he's so young, it's impossible to tell if 16-year-old Darwin Blanch will pan out. And by "pan out," I'm not necessarily talking about a high level champion, but simply a player who makes a good living for years on the tour - maybe top 40-50 or better for a while, and a broader period of at least top 75-100.

Given the game’s reliance on power, their physical development dictates their readiness.

Fils filled out earlier than many. Looking at him, I’d think he was at least a couple years older than he is.

But, no, Blanch isn’t expected to give Nadal, even as diminished as he is, much of a match.

R482 you sure do write a lot for someone completely devoid of any sense of humor, much less sarcasm.

Bless your heart.😘

Watching a replay of Swiatek and She-Hulk on TC this afternoon. The only positive thing I have to say about Iga is that she doesn’t scream/grunt like a banshee. Other than that I find her so cold and completely uninteresting. What a shitty #1.

I think the acceleration on her groundies is remarkable. I don't think I've seen anyone, male or female, accelerate like she does through the swing. That takes great strength and excellent timing.

I hope that Darwin recognizes the gravity of Nadal as his first Big 3 opponent.

Which is not in biology or physics.

Downright Darwinian—who’s the survivor of the fittest?

I've just come back from a screening of Challengers. It's extremely homo-erotic, as I'm sure we all expected. I saw it in Wimbledon, naturally, and it was all a bit too much for one elderly couple who walked out.

It'll get people talking, that's for sure.

Domicakes out of Madrid in R2 Quallies.

Brought to his knees by Big Kokk!

Curse of the OP Poster Boy strikes again!

Oh Domicakes.

PLEASE get up!

Thanks for that pic, R493. His ass looks awesome there.

Aryna Sabalenka is dating yet another married man.

The Hulk, R495?

Cougar!

I would totally do the Kokk. He's not particularly hot but still doable

Big Jack in a dogfight with the Kokk

Big D tops Big Kokk!

About time Jack held his nerve and won a 3-setter. A bit lucky that Thanasi crumbled in his last service game. He was holding very comfortably throughout the second and third sets.

Heading off to the showers to fuck

^That's an inspiring image.

Watching Slovenian, Lukas Klein, who's tipped by some pundits as a potential dark horse for a deep run in Madrid, and my Gaydar is pinging off the charts.

R502, that pic should be in Urban Dictionary alongside Average White Guy.

Sizemeat verificatia?

Watching Stephens and Trevisan. Trevisan wins the Errani trophy for most obnoxious grunt.

Errani the Gnome.

I's back!

The original legz+++!

Viva Vilas 4evah!!!

I's a happy boy - my Pretty Pedro Cachin gets his first tour win since last October - straight sets win over the in-form Sebastian Ofner.

Hopefully, it's the start of better things as his ranking was poised to collapse over the next two months!

Legz+ up a break on the Flying Finn in the 3rd

and he wins!

Kokk blasts his balls.

Legz+ back and winnng! I think Cachin plays Tiafoe next and will probably beat him.

Again, DL tennis thread fave, Marcos Giron, disappoints in a third set tiebreak loss to Max Purcell who Marcos had beaten at least once in the past.

Reminder that Holger Rune is an actual homphobe and was fined by the ATP for homophobic remarks.

Anyone watching Rafa?

Get the cream cheese. Coco with the double bagel.

Yep, 517. Not a very interesting match—Blanch is only 16 (and not the same player Rafa was at 16), and he just doesn’t have the wherewithal or experience to deal with Rafa on a home clay court.

In a slightly more interesting note, the mother of Rafa’s baby boy and her mother are sitting courtside, just behind Rafa’s very dykey sister and mother. If the mothers are anything to go by, both gals are going to look pretty awful by the time they hit 50–60…

Rafa–Blanch 6-1 6-0.

Poor Darwood!

Blanch is tall (6’3”) but hasn’t filled out yet.

I question the value of awarding wildcards to 16-year-olds on the men’s side. Physically not ready.

Meanwhile, 17-year old Brazilian, Joao 'Wow' Fonseca breezes into the second round. He looks like the real deal - at least on the clay, already.

Pretty adorable

Future billionaire

Cripe, what happened to Rafa’s looks? Years of playing without sunscreen?

I don't know how y'all can continuing posting about such mundane tennis matters when 3-years ago an 18 year-old Holger Rune shouted homophobic slurs at himself during a heated and tense moment in his match. Don't you care how we're coping?!

Awesome final set tie-break going on between RCB and Koepfer right now. Total dogfight.

Two absolutely cracking final matches of the day in Madrid - Shang/Moutet yesterday and RCB/Koepfer tonight. Awesome hitting, creative shotmaking and plenty of spicy moments in both.

RCB came through tonight after going 1-5 down in the final breaker, then reeling off 6 points in a row.

If we're lucky, smiley sunshine Navone will knock him out of the draw tomorrow, R527.

Speaking of dogfights, it was fun to see Shang edge hothead Moutet 12-10 in the third-set tiebreak yesterday.

Mopsy vs. Legz+ in the second round should also be tight.

r527, I feel you. I just heard that Djokovic won Sportsman of the Year for the 5th time and I had to double my Lexapro and take to my fainting chaise.

One of these should have sufficed, R531.

Muguruza was also at the Laureus Awards, looks like she's been enjoying her tapas

Wow, R533. She looks nothing like she used to.

[quote]Mopsy vs. Legz+ in the second round should also be tight.

That sounds like a fun match.

Mopsy pits:

R527, fortunately, this is receiving the same treatment ad the Holocaust: regular reminds that We Must Never Forget this horrible act!

(But few care that Nadal is taking money from the Saudis to sports wash their sins like having a journalist dismembered.)

She fat now

Thanks, R 527.

I wonder if Fritz, Alcaraz, and any of his other past doubles partners are "homophobes" by association.

The poster is such a neurotic narcissist.

Muguruza still looks like herself to me, not THAT much bigger. If she does get bigger will she eventually go the Marion Bartoli route?

More chins than a Chinese phone book.

My biggest crush right now is Giron. I cannot get past that ass and I think he is handsome too. He's bumped Big Jack D who I just find dreamy.

I wonder if Mugu is pregnant.

Emma R…back to being a total flop.

As it's Friday, and most of us have been good this week. I present a wet Casper emerging from the Barcelona pool.

Two words: 'fat cock'

Well doesn't he have a tight lil body!

Three words: cock not fat

Alcaraz won! Yay!

Ferrero is there supporting Alcaraz. It's so sweet❤️

[quote] Yay!

I’m so happy.

BREAKING NEWS!

Luciano Darderi - who is currently giving Daddy a right old first set ding-dong - is HAF!

Fritz is actually playing really well today.

Our Sunshine Delight, Navone, has had a rather fetching haircut and grown a goatee. Suits him!

Let's hope he swats that demented wasp, Rune, on the other side of the court.

Navone already broke homophobic Holger Rune. We love to see it.

Love Rune!

Wune.

Navone won the first set against the homophobe. YASSSS. VAMOSSSS!

wow, Shapo beat Tomas Martin in straights

Big Jack goes down meekly to Hubie in straights

Not loving Mariano's new 'do

Is Shapo back-o? He beat Etcheverry today, which is a good win on clay.

Legz is running away with the 3rd set

Break a Legz.

Our Sweet Prince is fighting back!

KEEP GOING! YOU'RE DOING THE LORD'S WORK!

Legz wins

Nearly uniform color from head to ankle apparently at R564.

Screaming Yellow Zonker, fully nauseating.

new thread here when this one is done

Thank you, OP at R567.

R566, what’s a Zonker?

Zonk + wanker

zonk (plural zonks)

(slang) An unfavorable card or token, or undesirable or worthless item used as a prize in a contest or game show (such as Let's Make a Deal).

Also...

Just got back from watching 'Challengers'.

Not quite sure what I think about it yet - very sexy, soapy, all three leads are great... but kind of hollow.

Josh O'Connor's big dick is never quite seen, but manages to steal scenes throughout the movie - worth the price of admission alone!

Thank you, R570.

Catching up on Madrid. Loving Porna’s buzz cut. Sexy.

^ I liked it too. (swoons)

The Citybus Revival is driven into the ditch by.... THIAGO MONTEIRO!

Awesome straight sets win for the Brazilian!

bye Porna

Il Gingio is making minced meat of Sonego

Is every tennis kit designed with a flowing shirt designed to billow and display treasure trails, navels and moles?

Nadal team or Minotaur/Hitlerstache team?

Sex On Legs, Alejandro Moro Canas, ain't done with our attention yet. Through to this week's Challenger final in Rome.

Mi Pedro pummels Big Foe!

2-4 down in the final set, then rattles off 4 games on the bounce to take the win.

A long hug between Sinner and Sonego at the net. Sweet. Hot.

Nadal beats Minotaur in straight sets.

Ons is on Tennis Channel.

The gals in Rafa's box were happy

I see three smiles of joy and one who looks dubious. Like an abuela wondering what became of her lost turkey baster.

FAA bagels Mannarino, then breaks him to take a place in the third round. No hugs at the net in this one.

Meanwhile, Mopsy bagels Legz+ in their first set.

Terre Battue is my new drag name.

I can't stand Emma Navarro so I'm happy that she lost today.

Kekmanovic team or Wuud team?

[quote] so I'm happy

Yay!

You hate billionaire’s daughters who get a free ride at a public university just to hit a ball and win something called a naty? I’m right there with you.

Wune

Legz

Brat

Peppa Pig

Minotaur

Mopsy

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