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Are you ready for Jesus tomorrow?

When he knocks on your door, will you let him in?

by Anonymousreply 25April 1, 2024 4:45 AM

If he looks like Jared Leto, hell no.

by Anonymousreply 1March 31, 2024 2:16 AM

I'm prelubed and presenting on my couch.

by Anonymousreply 2March 31, 2024 2:24 AM

My neighborhood church is having three services and is charging $10 a head.


by Anonymousreply 3March 31, 2024 2:31 AM

The gardeners only come to service my ... lawn on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

by Anonymousreply 4March 31, 2024 2:32 AM

^^ Jesús

by Anonymousreply 5March 31, 2024 2:34 AM

Will he hand me 3 nails and ask me "Can you put me up for the night?"

by Anonymousreply 6March 31, 2024 2:37 AM

You know, Judas got a raw deal by ending up being vilified down through the ages.

Ok, so he took a few coins.

But somebody had to move the plan along.

by Anonymousreply 7March 31, 2024 2:40 AM

What people freak out if Jesus showed up looking the way he probably would have looked?

by Anonymousreply 8March 31, 2024 2:44 AM

You mean — like this. R8?

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by Anonymousreply 9March 31, 2024 2:52 AM

Yes R9.

by Anonymousreply 10March 31, 2024 2:54 AM

Yes, I will visiting Canada Easter week.

by Anonymousreply 11March 31, 2024 2:55 AM

“Smell that? It’s the scent of eternity!”

“Stop giving me M&Ms!”

by Anonymousreply 12March 31, 2024 3:02 AM

Yes, I'd let him in. I need all the help I can get. I got saved last Saturday. I didn't plan it or expect it. I went to Church because an older friend wanted to go so, I took him. I let him in. I don't want to stop listening to rock music or give up other things. I guess that'll come later.

by Anonymousreply 13March 31, 2024 3:02 AM

Is he the "HOT GUY" hanging on that cross working that loincloth that's barely hanging on to those hips?

I always thought he was "hot as Fuck"!! Now. that's a piece of ass, always wanted his Holy manseed shot all over my 13 yr old body!!

by Anonymousreply 14March 31, 2024 3:32 AM

Just for you, Phillywhore. Fap away.

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by Anonymousreply 15March 31, 2024 3:40 AM

Only if he comes and helps me prepare my Easter dinner plus helps me with decorating 2 cakes I made earlier today.

by Anonymousreply 16March 31, 2024 5:47 AM

How is your... lawn doing lately R4? Is it tightly trimmed or loose and rambling?

by Anonymousreply 17March 31, 2024 5:53 AM

[quote]Only if he comes and helps me prepare my Easter dinner plus helps me with decorating 2 cakes I made earlier today.

Is one of them an empty tomb cake, R16?

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by Anonymousreply 18March 31, 2024 5:59 AM

Jesus is busy.

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by Anonymousreply 19March 31, 2024 6:02 AM

Only if he wants to show me the gift of tongues and a second cumming.

by Anonymousreply 20March 31, 2024 6:54 AM

Getting gangbanged on the cross, R19? Even Dawson didn't think of that.

by Anonymousreply 21March 31, 2024 1:29 PM

If you buy my bible for $59.95 plus S&H, I can show you the way to Jesus and all things holy.

by Anonymousreply 22March 31, 2024 1:37 PM

To R19, Isn't that the scene from The Robe, starring the yummy Richard Burton & the beautiful Jean Simmons. That's a scene that Richard Burton is raping Jesus and just about to nutt, when he sees Jean Simmons slamming 3 fingers into her pussy, so Richard leaves Jesus to the common soldiers, give Jean all his Burton babies into her stretched-out wet pussy.

by Anonymousreply 23March 31, 2024 9:12 PM

Phillywhore, I thought R19 was from Lair of the White Worm. Close, but not quite.

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by Anonymousreply 24April 1, 2024 4:29 AM

To R24, I just played that clip, that's a real fucking movie. I had to watch it twice thinking, "someone filmed that shit"

by Anonymousreply 25April 1, 2024 4:45 AM
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