Are you ready for Jesus tomorrow?

If he looks like Jared Leto, hell no.

I'm prelubed and presenting on my couch.

My neighborhood church is having three services and is charging $10 a head.

Ridiculous.

The gardeners only come to service my ... lawn on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

^^ Jesús

Will he hand me 3 nails and ask me "Can you put me up for the night?"

You know, Judas got a raw deal by ending up being vilified down through the ages.

Ok, so he took a few coins.

But somebody had to move the plan along.

What people freak out if Jesus showed up looking the way he probably would have looked?

You mean — like this. R8?

Yes R9.

Yes, I will visiting Canada Easter week.

“Smell that? It’s the scent of eternity!”

“Stop giving me M&Ms!”

Yes, I'd let him in. I need all the help I can get. I got saved last Saturday. I didn't plan it or expect it. I went to Church because an older friend wanted to go so, I took him. I let him in. I don't want to stop listening to rock music or give up other things. I guess that'll come later.

Is he the "HOT GUY" hanging on that cross working that loincloth that's barely hanging on to those hips?

I always thought he was "hot as Fuck"!! Now. that's a piece of ass, always wanted his Holy manseed shot all over my 13 yr old body!!

Just for you, Phillywhore. Fap away.

Only if he comes and helps me prepare my Easter dinner plus helps me with decorating 2 cakes I made earlier today.

How is your... lawn doing lately R4? Is it tightly trimmed or loose and rambling?

[quote]Only if he comes and helps me prepare my Easter dinner plus helps me with decorating 2 cakes I made earlier today.

Is one of them an empty tomb cake, R16?

Jesus is busy.

Only if he wants to show me the gift of tongues and a second cumming.

Getting gangbanged on the cross, R19? Even Dawson didn't think of that.

If you buy my bible for $59.95 plus S&H, I can show you the way to Jesus and all things holy.

To R19, Isn't that the scene from The Robe, starring the yummy Richard Burton & the beautiful Jean Simmons. That's a scene that Richard Burton is raping Jesus and just about to nutt, when he sees Jean Simmons slamming 3 fingers into her pussy, so Richard leaves Jesus to the common soldiers, give Jean all his Burton babies into her stretched-out wet pussy.

Phillywhore, I thought R19 was from Lair of the White Worm. Close, but not quite.

To R24, I just played that clip, that's a real fucking movie. I had to watch it twice thinking, "someone filmed that shit"