Australia

At least we’re not Florida.

There is a lot to recommend it, but Aboriginal people are treated disgracefully.

Oh good, time for another Australia-bashing thread from a bunch of people who couldn’t identify it on a map.

I’ve saved this as a handy template for getting it all out there in the regular Datalounge anti-Australia troll posts. Hope that this helps!

All Australians are racists. Every single one of us. All the men are misogynists. All the women are loud and called Sheila. We are all completely homophobic. And gay. A bunch of chronic alcoholics. Setting foot out of our front doors is an exercise in risking death from our killer wildlife. We have no history. None! No accomplishments of note. No cities - we all live in the outback, killing kangaroos for dinner. Avoiding drop bears. Then throwing another shrimp on the barbie. Because the dingo ate our baby! We’re just a tiny little island, regularly on fire, upside down, down under, somewhere down in the Pacific. Or the Atlantic. Maybe the Indian Ocean? Some big ocean, anyway. Somewhere. But definitely full of man-eating sharks and crocodiles.

[quote] Is it really that good?

Who has told you these lies?

Kath & Kim wasn’t a satire, it was a documentary.

[quote] Oh good, time for another Australia-bashing thread from a bunch of people who couldn’t identify it on a map.

Is there anyone that really couldn’t identify it on a map? It’s massive and its own continent.

Only many posters on the DL, R6. Trust me on this - most of them don’t even have passports.

They’re alright.

I've lived in Australia 23yrs and enjoy my life immensely. Former Chicagoan, ask me anything.

OP, the best MAFS in the World is the Aussie version.

It's not Texas. They have universal health care.

It was for the first couple seasons!

[quote]The closer I look, the more it seems like Texas with a different accent.

That’s just Queensland.

Why do Australians move to the US? I don't get it, Australia seems like a much better place to live. Seriously.

r3, you forgot to mention sand flies, blood-sucking leeches, box jellyfish, and spiders the size of dinner plates, all of which I saw while in amazing, beautiful Queensland. Did not happen upon any racists that I was aware of.

r13, Texas doesn't have anything approaching the magnificence of The Great Barrier Reef or The Daintree Rainforest but they do drive on the wrong side of the road in QLd.

Sadly, it's hard to be an alcoholic in Australia. Bartenders there measure the booze pours with a shot glass whereas in my hometown (SF) at any neighborhood bar if you order a Vodka Tonic, you get a tall glass of ice filled with Vodka, a straw, and then a tiny splash of Tonic for only a few dollars.

Where the F are you getting a Vodka Tonic in San Francisco for only a few dollars? In WeHo where I used to live the last time I saw a drink that price was 20 years ago! The average drink is closer to $15 to $18 dollars. And that's still cheaper than on Sunset where the breeders still go.

The hicks of the Pacific.

[quote] Why do Australians move to the US?

Because ambitious people don’t like a small pond.

Agreed, R10 … although the accents can be hard to understand.

r16, any bar in The Castro at happy hour. If you go elsewhere, it's $24 for a tiny "craft cocktail" with 32 ingredients.

Told to me by a Kiwi: "Here in New Zealand, we have three islands. The North Island and The South Island, and The West Island, which some people call 'Australia'".

Whenever I told New Zealanders that I was headed to Australia, responses were akin to "why would you ever do that to yourself?".

Ozzie cocks are fun, because until the guys drop their pants you never know what you're going to get - a cut or an uncut one.

Happy Hour does not count R20. You made it sound like you could just stroll into a local bar and get a drink for 3 or 4 dollars.

[quote]Why do Australians move to the US? I don't get it, Australia seems like a much better place to live. Seriously.

Maybe because it’s less geographically isolated. Traveling anywhere that’s not SE Asia or New Zealand is expensive as hell and a terribly long haul. I would choose most European countries over the US, personally, but if you wanted to move to another English speaking country then it’s going to be the US, Canada, UK or Ireland, all of which have their own pluses and minuses.

My boyfriend is Australian-Texan. He's tall and has blue eyes.

Jealous?

Australia is best understood as a combination of Texas, Florida, Arrakis and Pandora.

A thread for idiots

[quote]My boyfriend is Australian-Texan. He's tall and has blue eyes.

Does he have with blond hair and a tan?

[quote]Told to me by a Kiwi: "Here in New Zealand, we have three islands. The North Island and The South Island, and The West Island, which some people call 'Australia'".

Traveling between Australia and New Zealand is referred to as "Crossing the Ditch".

They’re largely descended from

RIFF RAFF.

Perth, Western Australia (WA) is shit. I know because that's where I live. WA stands for Wait Awhile. A long while. At least Melbourne and Sydney are relatively close together, as well as each of them being superior to Perth individuallyin terms of culture.

Tycoon Kerry Stokes (and all his breeder pandering BS) has a lock on the WA media, particularly the only two major printed newspapers. Then there's his sickening free to air network, Channel 7. Don't get me started.

Isolated, ignorant and too spread out - there's not much hope for Perth.

R31 Mining money has helped Perth hasn't it?

[quote] Whenever I told New Zealanders that I was headed to Australia, responses were akin to "why would you ever do that to yourself?".

Ask the 600,000 Kiwis who moved to Australia.

How hard is it now for an American to move there, R9? I imagine it must have been easier back in the day.

I was there twenty years ago for three months. The nature was amazing so unspoiled with great animal surprises everywhere. The culture was like the US in the sixties. I have heard it’s come along way for better and worse. The racism was remarkable even the whites were differentiating into Italian Irish etc. plenty of super cool people everywhere though too. I’d go back in a flash.

Good point, r32. The mining money plus Labor in power on both state and Federal levels should have progressed things dramatically, but the Perth inertia is still dominant. We need massive boosts to the public services, we need everything, but there is no viable alternative or even anyone to bring the state Labor government to account as the Greens were decimated at the 2021 state election.

Ben Wyatt left politics before McGowan retired and his absence is sorely felt. We're a one-horse town and things aren't likely to change, unfortunately.

We're still way, way behind the areas in the eastern states who voted Yes to the voice. Even Fremantle only voted 50% yes. Areas like Bayswater did better.

You're terrible, R3

Whenever I meet an American living in Australia they almost always seem to be charmed by the place and grateful to be living here. I often hear American accents when I am out nowadays, so it's not as surprising as it would have been 20 years ago.

Unlike most Canadians, Americans are easy to strike up conversations with and don't complain all the time like the British. The Whinging Pom is still the main immigration force to be reckoned with in Australia.

This is hard to forget.

[quote]Because the dingo ate our baby!

Indeed R3.

R36 Type in 'gay' into Google Maps Perth and you will see there's almost the same number of bars and venues as Melbourne, despite it having less than half the population.

Affordable areas like Belmont, Maylands, and Redcliffe, multicultural areas generally near the airport have become popular with gays. Those have 70s-style homes and plenty of land.

Mount Lawley has long been the exclusive gay area. Formally a Jewish neighborhood with charming worker's cottages, it's now chockablock with trendy gays. Subiaco and Leederville are super gay. East Perth has some spacious inner-city living for rich gays.

Northbridge is the gay mecca, though it is not the fun place it used to be at night.

Gays are very well-represented in the old-money areas like Claremont, Nedlands, and Cottesloe. Lesbians in Fremantle, though like the hippies they have moved to surrounding areas like Spearwood and Hamilton Hill because Freo is now super expensive, and is also becoming quite crime-ridden.

^ Forgot to add Stirling in Perth is an up-and-coming gay area, a little nicer than around the airport. South Perth and Applecross are gay-friendly and very nice, Guildford is friendly, historic and quaint. Victoria Park, near the casino is very trendy with some actual gay bars and lots of delicious Asian food.

That all sounds absolutely lovely R41/R42.

But it's in [bold]Perth[/bold]. The arse end of nowhere.

R43 It is the are end of nowhere, and it rarely makes any internatinal blips on the radar. Like Adelaide and South Island of NZ, people prefer it that way.

But It is the fastest growing city at present, and direct flights to Europe help it feel a bit more connected.

There has always been an effort to give the city a bigger feel than it really has. Celebrties usually love it here. It's been gay friendly since at least the 70s and there is a fairly large cultural precinct for a small city. Big bands usually make the effort to tour West despite the added costs. And some big stars sent their kids to the expensive WA private schools.

Tina Turner loved Perth and the rumor is she owned a portion of The Merlin Hotel (now the Regency Hyatt) a place long loved by celebrities for it's low key elegance and stunning river views.

Perth. It's neither here nor there.

Kate Walsh now lives in Perth, and is hitched to a local.

Perth is what LA would look like if designed by the people who hate Mexicans and Hollywood got their way.

R46 I saw Kate Walsh shopping at Claremont Quarter just last week. She loves it here and considers herself a local. Jerry Hall was also married to a local guy and lived here for quite a few years.

R48, by "local guy" do you mean evil festering cunt who has done everything he can to destroy the USA and the concept of democracy internationally that he can?

R9, Is food expensive there? Is it kind of like Alaska and Hawaii in that sense?

..About 15 years ago Jerry Hall starred in The Graduate at His Majestey's Theater while she lived in Perth. I used to work in the cafe Barre downstairs, and before the show she would take walks into the city and come into the cafe and was as lovely, kind, and down-to-earth as you could possibly imagine.

R50 It's quite expensive but generally good quality. There are two growing seasons per year, and large growing areas so that helps keep the prices a bit more reasonable.

Cut or uncut, R25?

Spiders “the size of dinner plates?” No need to say more!