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Getting older sucks

I'm 36. I'm single and lonely. I barely have any friends and now I've gotten deep wrinkles on my forehead. I'm severely depressed. I hate this so much. Any advice?

by Anonymousreply 163May 17, 2024 3:06 AM

Exact same boat, down to the age. No advice, this is just what life is.

I wish almost on a daily basis I died on that operating table two years ago.

by Anonymousreply 1February 26, 2024 11:30 AM

36? You're an embryo! Focus on what's important.

by Anonymousreply 2February 26, 2024 11:31 AM

You are actually young. Wait until you’re 60 to start worrying about being old. See a shrink.

by Anonymousreply 3February 26, 2024 11:32 AM

36 is super young! If you’re feeling insecure start your glow-up. Do incremental things daily to improve your nutrition and fitness. If you want to make friends, think of what interests you and see if there is a group near you that does that hobby. Also try a new hobby.

by Anonymousreply 4February 26, 2024 11:33 AM

Get out of the comfort zone and pursue an interest you enjoy, then you meet others who like the same thing. They in turn might know someone you can date. Spf for the wrinkles. That should have begun decades ago.

by Anonymousreply 5February 26, 2024 11:35 AM

Have you tried whining pathetically on a gay message board?

by Anonymousreply 6February 26, 2024 11:36 AM

Start taking really good care of your skin now.

Bo buy some sort of Kiehl's or Clinique for Men starter set, find what you like and use it. Add it to your daily routine. Get a really good daily-use moisturizer with SPF.

I started a little too late. When I turned 40, the woman who cuts my hair said (out of the blue,) "You have great skin, but you need to start taking care of it, like, yesterday."

Ten years on (yeah, I'm old) I feel really good about how my face looks and feels.

by Anonymousreply 7February 26, 2024 11:37 AM

Oh honey, you have no idea.

You're just a baby.

I second the idea of seeing a shrink, because if you're having age issues now, you'll be devastated by the realities of aging.

by Anonymousreply 8February 26, 2024 11:42 AM

First, grow up.

Second, get over your fixation on looks, you silly bitch. There's a whole world of fun times and good people out there, but it sounds like you're too shallow to be open to it. Honestly, no patience with a 36-year old making a post like this. Grow the fuck up.

by Anonymousreply 9February 26, 2024 11:46 AM

DL may be full of the saddest most depressed people I have ever been exposed to. If you really want help get off the fucking Internet as a start. The Internet and its forums are driven by anger depression and hate.

Then get out of the house and do something positive for others. Not yourself but others. Call a dog rescue organization and see if they could use a dog walker if you are totally stumped as far as what to do.

Then seek actual professional help. Even one visit could help.

And if you can’t manage even that just get ready for what is going to be a truly miserable rest of your life. Depressed people drive potential friends away.

And next week if you are still on DL feeling miserable then your misery is all totally on you.

It’s time to adult up

Good Luck

Oh and stay off the drugs and booze——a PSA if needed.

by Anonymousreply 10February 26, 2024 11:48 AM

To further add to R10s excellent advice - most of us who are a bit older have at least one friend who died before 50.

So pull your head out of your ass and get a sense of proportion OP.

by Anonymousreply 11February 26, 2024 11:54 AM

Stop worrying about wrinkles. Today you are the youngest you will ever be, it’s all downhill from here.

Get a cat or dog. They don’t care what you look like.

by Anonymousreply 12February 26, 2024 11:57 AM

Quit yer bitchin.

Nobody likes to be around a sad sack, esp a 30-something sad sack.

by Anonymousreply 13February 26, 2024 11:58 AM

Well, you do have an alternative...

by Anonymousreply 14February 26, 2024 12:00 PM

If you have your health, you have nothing to complain about.

Go make some friends. Go date if that’s what you want. 36 is very young.

Get your priorities straight and be grateful. People go through much worse than being in their 30s and single with forehead wrinkles. Take a step back and consider that.

And if you are severely depressed - go see a psychiatrist, get on meds and start therapy.

Sorry OP but I am 43 and also have depression/anxiety. Get your shit together. People post truly horrific situations on DL. Yours is not one of them.

by Anonymousreply 15February 26, 2024 12:19 PM

I'll never get wrinkles.

by Anonymousreply 16February 26, 2024 12:37 PM


by Anonymousreply 17February 26, 2024 12:38 PM

Yeah, get help. You’re young and the balance of your life is ahead of you.

by Anonymousreply 18February 26, 2024 12:48 PM

Some gay men, not sure about your situation OP, get depressed when they can no longer pull the hot guys to sleep with. Or they are turning as many heads. They need to realize that looks fade and they need to find value in themselves for other reasons. Maybe you will never have sex with a hot man again unless you are paying. Who cares? It is certainly not worth dying over. Snap out of it.

by Anonymousreply 19February 26, 2024 1:32 PM

[quote] DL may be full of the saddest most depressed people I have ever been exposed to.

And ones that seem to be unable or unwilling to do anything but whine and wish they were dead.

by Anonymousreply 20February 26, 2024 1:34 PM

Many posters on the recent DL cancer thread would prefer the challenge of forehead wrinkles. I found their toughness heartening.

I too would give a lot to be 36 again. I hope you find the help you need to make more of your enviable comparative youth.

by Anonymousreply 21February 26, 2024 1:35 PM


Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 22February 26, 2024 1:38 PM

Join a social group or four; you got almost 10 years of fun!

Just gotta put yourself out there you will find your crowd. (it doesn't have to be a cliched crowd either)

Also, do something charitable if you can, that helps immensely...no one thinks to do that but it can be great for your self.

by Anonymousreply 23February 26, 2024 1:41 PM

Botox, barber, weight loss, nice fitting clothes/style, OKCupid and Meetup.com.

by Anonymousreply 24February 26, 2024 1:43 PM

36? I'm 60 so you sound ridiculous. No forehead wrinkles though.

One thing I have noticed is shit literally happens overnight. I woke up one morning to the the lovely beginning of jowls that was not there the night before.

by Anonymousreply 25February 26, 2024 1:44 PM

As said before, you are wasting what is literally about the peak time of your live age-wise in worrying about aging. Enjoy this time. Check back in 20 years.,

by Anonymousreply 26February 26, 2024 1:50 PM

Staring at 37 myself in 4 months, OP. It has gotten increasingly difficult to connect with people and make friends.

But: We should pay heed to what our eldergays are telling us -- We are younger than we think/feel we are, and we still have ways to go. Chin up, I am going through the exact same thing so please know you are absolutely not alone in this.

by Anonymousreply 27February 26, 2024 1:52 PM

36! you are just entering your fully self aware 'grown up' years. I suspect you are mourning the end of your young adult years and recognizing those days are now gone. Such is the cycle of life (for those of us lucky enough to actually live it). Think of your time now as a new chapter in your biography.

by Anonymousreply 28February 26, 2024 1:52 PM

My advice to you

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 29February 26, 2024 1:53 PM

I am much happier being old and retired. Life is better for me than when I was in my 20s and 30s. The physical decline is a bitch, but the psychological, emotional improvement far outweighs that. I do what I want, when I want, and keep assholes at a distance.

by Anonymousreply 30February 26, 2024 1:55 PM

You're 36. You're not old. You're note even "older".

I'm 59, and have no (local) friends, no sex life, my body is falling apart, my house is falling apart (foundation issues, ugh), my metabolism fell off a cliff but my appetite didn't and I've gained weight making me even uglier and even more out of shape... I'm tired, lonely, alone, sexless (but constantly horny) and nothing is ever getting better in the future on any of those fronts.

You have half your life ahead of you. I'm actually depressed that I have to go through 10 more years of this shit (I don't see myself making it to 70 to be honest)

by Anonymousreply 31February 26, 2024 1:55 PM


36 or so MARY!s for you. You are far too young to complain about this.

by Anonymousreply 32February 26, 2024 2:00 PM

Feeling sorry for ourselves is real. Being clinically depressed is real. Just put on a happy face and sing I m really young and have lots to live for is not an actual plan.

But time will tell if the op will continue to wallow in this misery or take positive steps and fix it.

Staying young hot and desired is also not a plan. That never lasts.

by Anonymousreply 33February 26, 2024 2:18 PM

[quote] Staying young hot and desired is also not a plan. That never lasts.

Maybe not for YOU, R33

by Anonymousreply 34February 26, 2024 2:21 PM

Get a cat.

by Anonymousreply 35February 26, 2024 2:22 PM

About that suckage; prepare for the fact that the rate at which it’s moving will pick up. Right now you’re losing your youthful attractiveness at, say, an arbitrary expression of 15, where 0 is no loss of beauty from one year to the next and 50 is decrepitude so advanced you couldn’t possibly look worse.

At 40 years of age you’ll be losing your appeal at a rate of 20. And at 70 years of age, even if you were a Christopher Reeve in youth you’ll be Count Dracula after he’s been exposed to sunlight.

But take comfort that you’re not female. They hit their 50 (full-on decrepitude) at the age you are now and pictures of world-class beauties are greeted with, “OMG what HAPPENED to her?!”

by Anonymousreply 36February 26, 2024 2:22 PM

OP, you are just going through an adjustment phase and saying goodbye to extreme youth. Have no fear, you will right yourself when you embrace the next phase.

Things may seem dreary now as you no longer relate as much to youth culture and its trends. Good news - now is the time to become yourself and more so. You no longer need to be cool and you can pursue your geekiest interests and hobbies.

In a way I think the 40s are the best decade because you still have some athleticism and flexibility, but also more insight and experience.

by Anonymousreply 37February 26, 2024 2:22 PM

So i called Cher to talk about your sad dilemma OP and her sage advice is ::: Snap Outta It !

by Anonymousreply 38February 26, 2024 2:32 PM

Take Kathie Lee Gifford's advice - start each day by praying, then take a whole bottle of Balance of Nature's Fruits and Veggies. It perks her right up and she's ready to face the challenges of the day ahead at 70.

by Anonymousreply 39February 26, 2024 2:39 PM

Change your fucking attitude, OP. That's your problem. You have to figure out how to do that. All I can tell you is changing the outside isn't going to do shit until you change the inside.

by Anonymousreply 40February 26, 2024 2:53 PM

You write so eloquently and with such poise and kindness, R40. You are a beacon of decency in this dark corner of the web.

by Anonymousreply 41February 26, 2024 5:13 PM

Snap out of it. And if you think you're depressed, get medical help. I don't think you are though, I think you're a navel gazing schmuck who never experienced true adversity.

Also 36 is young by today's standards, numb nuts.

by Anonymousreply 42February 26, 2024 5:33 PM

There are a few stern, plain-spoken Dutch uncles on this thread (with apologies to Dutchie; present company excluded).

by Anonymousreply 43February 26, 2024 5:36 PM

Plastic surgery - seriously. Do it early while your skin still has elasticity. People won't notice it as much. You'll just look "refreshed".

Also - no smoking, drugging, or sun exposure. Nothing ages you like those 3 (besides getting fat).

by Anonymousreply 44February 26, 2024 5:39 PM

OP, girl…. you need to live, laugh, love, mmmk? LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE!

by Anonymousreply 45February 26, 2024 5:47 PM

Get over yourself.

by Anonymousreply 46February 26, 2024 5:49 PM

[quote]no drugging

Magic mushrooms and other psychedelics excepted

by Anonymousreply 47February 26, 2024 5:49 PM

R44 Plastic surgery at 36? God, no. Save your money, you'll need it. What if we were in a full blown war? You'd probably have to fight. Or at least do something useful. Not worry about your little forehead wrinkles.

by Anonymousreply 48February 26, 2024 5:52 PM

I'm sorry OP is having a crappy day.

by Anonymousreply 49February 26, 2024 5:52 PM

Sorry I'm posting again, but - if you're actually "severely depressed" (not just this week), get professional help. If eventually you get a little better, help other people, or do something creative. Whatever it is that will get your mind off yourself.

by Anonymousreply 50February 26, 2024 6:00 PM

I’m 36 and saw a wrinkle! Oh god I’m melting down! Melting! Melting!

by Anonymousreply 51February 26, 2024 6:40 PM

I just turned 67, OP, and am routinely told how “great,” how “amazing” I look. I echo those who encourage you to take care of your skin. Apart from the usual no smoking/drinking advice, recommend shaving … every day, twice if you can find the time.

by Anonymousreply 52February 26, 2024 6:47 PM

OP When you are feeling really down and depressed do what I do. I stand in front of a mirror and say to myself, I’m handsome, men find me attractive and people want to be my friend.

by Anonymousreply 53February 26, 2024 6:55 PM

36? You're still young; plenty of time to turn it around! Go out and visit a park or museum in your area. Eat at a nice, cozy, out of the way little restaurant. Look up local events that might interest you. Get out the house and move around while you still can!

by Anonymousreply 54February 26, 2024 7:05 PM

Here's another thought from an e older gay man that's sympathetic - a bit - to young gay men that are overly concerned about an aged appearance...

...,In that, though there has always been an emphasis on looks and youth among gay men, I do have to acknowledge that the pressure for gay men today, living in a social media bubble, seems much greater than it was years ago for us older gay men.

Having said that, OP needs to get a hobby and get outside himself. In particular, he should put down his gay pick-up apps phone and try meeting a man somewhere OP's personality may be just as, or more important than, his looks

by Anonymousreply 55February 26, 2024 7:08 PM

Join a club or a group. Volunteer for an organization. Do something to keep you active and contributing, but not focusing on only yourself. Exercise, get outside as much as possible.

by Anonymousreply 56February 26, 2024 7:12 PM

I was going to ask for your stuff, but I’m guessing it’s all beige and from IKEA. Never mind.

by Anonymousreply 57February 26, 2024 7:12 PM

Have you tried the boat ox OP???

by Anonymousreply 58February 26, 2024 7:14 PM

Come closer, OP, you whippersnapper. Let me give you a good SLAP!

You have no idea what the ravages of aging are like. Your 50s will chew you up and spit you out if you don't man up.

by Anonymousreply 59February 26, 2024 7:25 PM

Narcies don’t age well.

by Anonymousreply 60February 26, 2024 7:28 PM

What r59 said. Once you hit 50, shit starts breaking down. For some, this process starts a little earlier. In my 40s I started getting tennis elbow from sports, then I got an anal fistula which I had to have surgery for (not fun), then in my 50's I had two teeth pulled and implants put in, I got cancer, had a knee replacement last year, etc. It's no fun getting old which is why I'm just now learning how to take care of myself....BUT I have had several people I know die already and so I will never complain about getting older. It's a challenge, for sure, but you have to have a lot of inner strength and some good weed to get through it all.

by Anonymousreply 61February 26, 2024 7:30 PM

^ Rosanne Rosannadana

by Anonymousreply 62February 26, 2024 7:40 PM

As one who knew I would likely grow old alone, I, years ago, dedicated myself to the kind of healthy living that would promote my goal of dying young … as old as possible. Talking recently about certain nonagenarian celebrities who seem ageless, an older friend told me I was going to be in their ranks some day … & he regretted he wouldn’t be around to see that.

by Anonymousreply 63February 26, 2024 7:44 PM

OP, I'm 70, completely alone and the happiest I've been in decades. Strap on a pair and find your happiness. Don't expect others to find it for you.

If you think you've got it bad, LOOK AROUND! Tons of people would kill for your life.

by Anonymousreply 64February 26, 2024 7:44 PM

Thank you, R41, and you are welcome.

by Anonymousreply 65February 26, 2024 7:49 PM

OP, you sound incredibly shallow and a product of vapid gay culture. Your narcissism is rampant. Get on with it. Stop whining.

by Anonymousreply 66February 26, 2024 8:12 PM

The more unique and principled you are, the lonelier you’ll be. Sell your soul or be true to yourself. It’s your choice.

by Anonymousreply 67February 26, 2024 9:12 PM


Could you expound on that? I'm not sure I get it, but the first sentence hit my stomach (personal). I don't want to misunderstand what you wrote.


by Anonymousreply 68February 26, 2024 9:21 PM

R52 Yeah, you really do. You look amazing!! Are you really 67??

by Anonymousreply 69February 26, 2024 10:13 PM

Jung said midlife for men began around 36 and the second half could be richer and more productive, so buckle up, Winsocki!

by Anonymousreply 70February 26, 2024 11:25 PM

you have to go out of your way to get what you want

by Anonymousreply 71February 26, 2024 11:32 PM

You are middle aged and have time to get your life together

by Anonymousreply 72February 26, 2024 11:50 PM

OP, you’d better work on your inner strength because aging only accelerates. I’m thirty years older than you and if I took every physical indignity — thinning hair, problem teeth, flattening ass, wonky shoulder and knee, two cancer scares — as seriously as you seem to I’d have offed myself years ago.

Read some good literature. Go hug some trees. Be nice to a stranger in need.

And cut your time in front of mirrors. I had to. Friends ask why it seems I’m always looking up to the sky instead of straight ahead. No, it’s not to see the clouds. It’s just the only way to eliminate the appearance of my turkey neck!

You’re too young to be whining about this.

by Anonymousreply 73February 26, 2024 11:58 PM

Does aging really accelerate past 50 or is that just an old gay man’s tale?

by Anonymousreply 74February 27, 2024 1:17 AM

I love the flattening of the ass is compared with a cancer scare on datalounge!

by Anonymousreply 75February 27, 2024 1:26 AM

If you’re still unwed, childless and of slackening skin at 36 years old, it’s high time to trade in your dancing shoes for a hobby like euchre or needlework.

by Anonymousreply 76February 27, 2024 1:28 AM

R74 After 60, for me.

by Anonymousreply 77February 27, 2024 2:03 AM

r73 has it right: stop staring into mirrors (or taking selfies, or comparing yourself to fake filtered pictures online)

believe it or not, everyone is heading in the same direction.

by Anonymousreply 78February 27, 2024 2:24 AM

oh also OP, if you are lonely remember that to have friends you have to be a friend. It’s worth trying to reach out to people, those you know already and those outside your circle.

by Anonymousreply 79February 27, 2024 2:28 AM

R79 But don't be a doormat. Don't buy your friendships.

by Anonymousreply 80February 27, 2024 2:42 AM

I do remember feeling old at 26 and then, again, at 37.

DL skews old and is not the best place to complain about being 36.

That said, you're whining and you should just shut up, already.

by Anonymousreply 81February 27, 2024 2:49 AM

Thank you for all your help and advice... and bitchiness. I expected nothing less from Datalounge. I went to the drug store and bought a mosturizer. I also bought a serum. We'll see if it works. If not I might actually try botox. I also booked an appointment with a shrink. First available apppointment was in 2 months. Until then I'll just have to take my antidepressants.

by Anonymousreply 82February 27, 2024 3:55 AM

Oh, one more thing: It's not that I only care about looks. It's more the shock of getting older and all the years I've wasted doing nothing (I've been depressed for 10 years). I will however try to improve my life by working out and being more social, try to anyway. I would love to meet new people, even though it's very hard. At this point I need to realize I might never find someone to share my life with.

by Anonymousreply 83February 27, 2024 4:02 AM

Use a good moisturizer on your face every night, drink a lot of water, sunscreen on sunny days, wear a hat on beach. Exercise& start beginners yoga. Buck up buttercup, Life can be hard.

by Anonymousreply 84February 27, 2024 4:54 AM

Get some Botox for the deep wrinkles on your forehead.

by Anonymousreply 85February 27, 2024 6:38 AM

[quote]I'm 36. I'm single and lonely. I barely have any friends and now I've gotten deep wrinkles on my forehead. I'm severely depressed. I hate this so much. Any advice?

Fuck off. I've little patience with people who consign themselves to the junk pile and feign asking advice when what they really want is for you to listen to their ever growing necklace of complaints.

My twenties were better than my teenage years, my thirties better than my twenties, and do on to the present when my sixties have do far been better than my previous decade and do forth.

Wrinkles in your forehead is not old age. There are very real problems that can attend old age and lines in your forehead is not remotely among them. Complain and trawl for sympathy...yes, that sounds like a good perspective going forward toward death.

by Anonymousreply 86February 27, 2024 7:13 AM

You have wasted you claim the last 10 years being depressed and doing nothing? Forget the face cream it’s not going to help. Forget saying you are just going to start being social. Depressed people don’t make friends easily .

The shrink may be your only real hope.

Or accept the fact that this is now your life it’s the way it was and will be . And just deal with it. I’d guess most people in the world today are not happy. It’s a miserable tough world for many maybe even most.

10 years?

Good Luck

by Anonymousreply 87February 27, 2024 8:45 AM

The Unitarian Church? Men's choir? Ballroom dancing? (often have gay instructors) Whatever happened to bowling leagues? Little theatre?

Here's more:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 88February 27, 2024 10:43 AM

Meeting new people isn't always the answer. Because people can really suck. I would take this time to get to know yourself, what makes you happy and start counting the things you are actually fortunate to have, like your health if you have it. I am twelve years older than you and I didn't feel my life got started, like a felt like my own person until in my 40s. The part that sucks about getting old now is watching my parents get older and realizing realistically how many years left you have with them - IF things proceed without incident or sicknesses. That's the kind of stuff no one ever talks about or prepares you for.

Also I would suggest getting out of your head and realize that you are living the dream of billions of people less fortunate than you. Literally billions who will never ever in their entire life have it as good as you do now.

by Anonymousreply 89February 27, 2024 1:48 PM

Other people are no damned good. They'll use you, lie to you, mistreat you, disappoint you, steal from you, and discard you as soon as someone sexier or cooler or richer comes along.

Love is fragile, and temporary. It lasts only as long as the giver chooses to give it.

by Anonymousreply 90February 27, 2024 2:14 PM

^Welcome to Carole King, a new poster.

by Anonymousreply 91February 27, 2024 4:39 PM

OP, are you near a community garden? Why don't you sign up to grow something?

There are lots of things you can do to take the focus off your wrinkle and enjoy your life.

by Anonymousreply 92February 27, 2024 5:03 PM

Change your life in just a few easy steps:

1.) Smile at strangers. 2.) Say, "please"... And "thank you". 3.) Wear brighter colors, including fashionable floral prints. When your clothes say, "Spring", you'll find your feet have a spring in their step! 4.) Compliment others--especially at the urinal! Most men are insecure about the appearance of their genitalia: we are always drawn to those who make us feel better about ourselves 5.) Bring freshly-baked goods. Where? EVERYWHERE. and 6.) Wash your stinking crotch. I can smell you from here.

by Anonymousreply 93February 27, 2024 6:16 PM

OP, truth is, you don't know the half of it. Wait till you're twice your current age and every joint in your body is on fire first thing in the morning & it takes you 10 minutes just to stand up from the bed, and you prepare for the daily ritual of taking your morning medications by the handful, and don't forget your evening medications, another handful. Hopefully you'll be like me and once you get up, get showered and dressed you'll sit down somewhere comfortable and smile in appreciation that you actually get another day of life. Then you'll learn to appreciate every day.

by Anonymousreply 94February 28, 2024 11:32 AM

embrace it to some extent. things in your life probably won't change without a drastic change in your environment, temperament, habits, etc. find some things you can do alone that you enjoy and just accept that this is how it is for now. making the large changes in your life that you desire will take a long time and require a more relaxed and content state of mind. you always need to be in harmony with reality. you can't defeat reality.

by Anonymousreply 95February 28, 2024 12:15 PM


There is a term for that

Embrace The Suck

And it actually works. You just deal with the shit you have not the shit you don’t have and likely never will.

by Anonymousreply 96February 28, 2024 12:32 PM

Suck it up and suck it off, Mister!

by Anonymousreply 97February 28, 2024 12:40 PM

R92 In February?

by Anonymousreply 98February 28, 2024 3:31 PM

Life's tough. Get a helmet.

Or start watching sitcom reruns for some laughs.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 99February 28, 2024 3:35 PM

It’s for the birds

by Anonymousreply 100February 28, 2024 4:02 PM

Having a good erections and a sense of style helps.

by Anonymousreply 101February 28, 2024 4:12 PM

At 72 years old, I am very comfortable with getting old, not just "older"... a couple observations:

Everything changes, all is impermanent, and the way (it seems to me) to best experience change is to be awake, aware, conscious, and grateful (don't "re-feel" the past, don't resent it.

Related: I often think I am on "the old man ride"... seeing time pass, the body change, friends change and some starting to die... what a long strange trip it's been AND STILL IS. Be amused. I can't open a package, my fingers to weak or my synapses to resistant: what a hoot, look at that!!

Rust never sleeps: if you don't do yoga (or tai chi, or qi gong, or military calisthenics or walking or weights or or ...) start now and practice it regularly. I do a full yoga routine twice a day now. Breathe into all those stiff and painful areas... light and energy will grow and the qi will flow. There is great pleasure in feeling the body limber and ready... In short: keep moving.

36 is a baby... and, in my experience, it gets better.

by Anonymousreply 102February 28, 2024 4:55 PM

someday 36 will seem impossibly young to you. do with that what you will.

by Anonymousreply 103February 28, 2024 7:05 PM

Taste the biscuit....taste the goodness of the biscuit..

by Anonymousreply 104February 28, 2024 7:37 PM

Op, you are alive and all-too-soon you will be dead! All your worries about receding hairlines, saggy pecs, forehead wrinkles, the weird cracking of your elbow, the strange and unsightly (slightly pubic) hairs which are starting to grow out of your nose and ears will be over, because your once-so-hot ass will be rotting in a box in the ground. And soon everyone you love will have rotted away to nothingness too.

But at the moment, billions upon billions of atoms have accumulated from across the universe to create you. They have given you the ability to touch and taste and feel and think, and to love the people you love. What a waste it will be if you squander that gift just to rage about the inevitable passing of time. Choose to be happy and grateful! Make the most of your time!

by Anonymousreply 105February 28, 2024 8:09 PM

Cripes I'm 61

Stop drinking

Practice yoga

Strength and conditioning classes

Cut out fake friends

by Anonymousreply 106February 28, 2024 8:14 PM

Why would you want to stop drinking? I’m in my 60’s, I’m sure as hell not going without my wine just to try and extend my life by a couple of years. I think if you are lucky enough to reach your mid 60’s don’t deny yourself something you enjoy.

by Anonymousreply 107February 28, 2024 9:22 PM

OP, R82, R83 good first steps. Don't ruminate and don't catastrophize. You could really use a good therapist that practices Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Also, make your physical health your number one, no exceptions priority every day. It can simply be a long walk and one healthy meal, gradually increasing. I was one of the bitchy commenters above because you really annoyed me. No one can make you see what you have.

I thought of you when I saw this clip today. You might not be Gen Z but you share some of the thought errors.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 108February 28, 2024 9:40 PM

OP, how about some man bangs?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 109February 28, 2024 10:24 PM

I'm 70 and I still have my nightly Vodka Gimlet at 7:30. Sometimes I even have 2.

by Anonymousreply 110February 28, 2024 11:00 PM

R106, here; it was just a suggestion on the drinking.

I used to have a glass of wine a night, sometimes two for years; four nights a week?

Nothing major but I just discovered over the pandemic that it wasn't for me.

OP do what you want; just enjoy life.

by Anonymousreply 111February 29, 2024 5:43 AM

[quote] I'm 59, and have no (local) friends, no sex life, my body is falling apart, my house is falling apart (foundation issues, ugh), my metabolism fell off a cliff but my appetite didn't and I've gained weight making me even uglier and even more out of shape... I'm tired, lonely, alone, sexless (but constantly horny) and nothing is ever getting better in the future on any of those fronts.

Now THIS is a Datalounger, OP. Take heed and retreat to sympathetic pastures. A discontent 36 year old is triggering to these old queens.

by Anonymousreply 112February 29, 2024 5:49 AM

Yes it does. I took felt as you did at 36. My 20s even. I'm 58 now and I would kill for my 36 year old body again - nothing some serious commitment to working out and a pharmacies worth of steroids, HGH and supplements couldn't fix - and I'm probably invisible to anyone younger than 40 - but ambling towards some sort of gerontological zeitgeist seems a little more intriguing that I ever expected it to bem. I was a very unhappy, very self destructive adolescent who, having structurally designed myself all those years ago to have been way dead by now and having to have hatched some sort of back-up-back-up plan while sort of making it up as I go along and achieved some sort of dopamine hit at being indefatigable with my tenacity intact seems kinda rad. I have also seen lots of people die who were much better people on every level of better and still their light dimmed and they left before me. Cancer, suicide, heart attack, death by misadventure, fentanyl - that I'm still here means more than just being unkillable. It means there is still time to be Jesus....

by Anonymousreply 113February 29, 2024 6:48 AM

We die when we die. People who live the most unhealthy lifestyles on the planet can live well into their 90s and people who go overboard with a healthy lifestyle drop dead before they're 50. That's why I've always said "live the way you want to live while you're alive". I don't advocate abusing yourself with food, drink, or drugs just because that makes you happy, but don't deny yourself either. There's nothing wrong with partaking in unhealthy foods, alcohol, and even some lower level drugs like weed, if you do it responsibly. If you're lucky to have a long life then count your blessings, but don't go crazy doing things you think will insure you have a long life because there are no guarantees. Make the most of the time you're given.

by Anonymousreply 114February 29, 2024 11:06 AM

While we obviously don’t have complete control on such matters, R114, leading a healthy lifestyle certainly better positions us to live a longer, healthier, more independent, life.

by Anonymousreply 115February 29, 2024 11:56 AM

To R106 I started a "Beginners yoga for men" at the company I work at because my Primary Dr. said I was slouching my shoulders. His exact words were "Your posture fucking blows you Wall Street asshole"-this is California, fix yourself!!

So, I did. Started strength& conditioning training, yoga for men, and dumped all fake friends years ago. The primary checked my kidneys& liver (every test available), they were in great shape (no damage). My co-worker Herman lost 75lbs in 18 months due to the yoga& training.

by Anonymousreply 116February 29, 2024 4:23 PM


This has been a PSA jointly funded by the chemical industry, the cigarette lobby, the PnP advocates, the high sweet and sugar foods collective, the booze is good for you society and those who think drinking and driving is a national right ( after all more sober people in the US are in car accidents each day than truly drunk people)

30 years of unfiltered Lucky Strikes and lung cancer—-Dude you were just unlucky.

by Anonymousreply 117February 29, 2024 4:34 PM

[quote]Until then I'll just have to take my antidepressants.

If you’re having issues staying hard and/or cumming that’s the culprit

by Anonymousreply 118February 29, 2024 4:58 PM

For joint health swim laps or do water aerobics.

by Anonymousreply 119February 29, 2024 5:17 PM

Join a nudist group.

by Anonymousreply 120February 29, 2024 5:58 PM

Yes, getting older sucks, but it damn sure beats the alternative.

by Anonymousreply 121February 29, 2024 5:59 PM

Some people prefer the alternative.

by Anonymousreply 122February 29, 2024 6:16 PM

R84- You are giving him the same dumb advice every other queen gives about staying young- stay out of the ☀️, moisturize etc

How about- don’t drink 🚱, don’t smoke 🚭 and don’t take drugs plus eat a lot of fruits 🍎 and vegetables 🥗.

by Anonymousreply 123March 5, 2024 12:12 PM

If one is not engaging people beyond his own comfort zone, nothing changes in terms of developing new relationships, intimacy, and self-imposed isolation.

There’s too much fear to advise them to expand their activities.

Get professional counseling. That’s a big first step.

by Anonymousreply 124March 5, 2024 12:25 PM

Here's some advice...

Accept your age, ease into maturity, and don't use emojis like some mentally unbalanced tween girl like [r123] up there.

by Anonymousreply 125March 5, 2024 12:29 PM

R125- Leave me and my lovely emojis alone.

by Anonymousreply 126March 5, 2024 12:55 PM

I woke up this morning to the feeling of a muscle in my upper back (between my shoulders) tearing. Just tearing, when I was at total rest! What the fuck is happening?

by Anonymousreply 127March 9, 2024 3:59 PM

Take 2 Advil's, stop being a pussy.

Take a walk!

by Anonymousreply 128March 9, 2024 4:26 PM

R2, do you change the age on your moniker every year?

by Anonymousreply 129March 9, 2024 4:51 PM

R127, how would you know you were actually tearing a muscle? Wouldn't you have to be engaging in some activity?

by Anonymousreply 130March 9, 2024 4:52 PM

R127, that's like saying, "I sprained my ankle while I was sleeping."

by Anonymousreply 131March 9, 2024 4:53 PM

You can sleep in a cramped position and not realize it - and you could conceivably sprain muscles by stretching. When you get older, you probably have degenerative processes going on in both your bones and muscles, so hell, anything's possible.

My brother-in-law dropped the soap in the shower, reached down to get it, "put his back out" and was in hospital in traction or something right after.

You might have to ask for an ultrasound to check for muscle tears - and I don't know what they'd do about it. I tore my calf while running (trying to alternate sprinting with walking). It healed, I guess, but there's a big dent in my leg lol. Probably should have gone to the doc but got I hate doing that.

by Anonymousreply 132March 9, 2024 5:04 PM

R132, you can't sprain muscles.

by Anonymousreply 133March 9, 2024 5:05 PM

Sorry R133. I was rambling - strain a muscle? tear it? can you "pull" a muscle?

But I got it - never sprain!

by Anonymousreply 134March 9, 2024 5:10 PM

I would imagine it would require some physical exertion to strain a muscle, though bending over the wrong way can fuck up your back.

by Anonymousreply 135March 9, 2024 5:11 PM

Thank you Datalounge, MD. According to my physician, I have a trapped nerve in my shoulder. Next stop is a physio.

by Anonymousreply 136May 14, 2024 4:25 PM

geez, get a life

by Anonymousreply 137May 14, 2024 4:27 PM

Is OP dead?

by Anonymousreply 138May 14, 2024 4:46 PM

62 today.

No parents. No love or romantic interest. Just lost out on a HUGE job opportunity that would have opened up many doors.

Sure, there's the future -- but 62 is being an official senior citizen.

I have a few good friends, very grateful for them. Most of my other relationships are transactional. I live in LA.

I survived the AIDS epidemic. You thought COVID was bad? The government didn't do much about AIDS back in the 1980s till Nancy's pal Rock Hudson died.

But the media did. Gay = AIDS = Death! was the message.

I don't think it's a bad idea to not smoke, limit drinking and do strength and conditioning classes.

You can rest when you're dead.

by Anonymousreply 139May 14, 2024 5:38 PM

Gut spilling hernias from sneezing hard.

by Anonymousreply 140May 14, 2024 5:58 PM

Well, you’re not wrong. Aging does suck in many ways. I’m 70 and I find myself becoming increasingly curious abut how much more it’s gonna suck before the suckage just outright stops.

One thing I’ve learned: if you want anyone to be sorry when you die, start being generous of spirit NOW. Make your amends to those you’ve neglected or hurt. You get one shot at this, the clock is running, and people have long memories. Saying “I’m sorry” may not be enough.

by Anonymousreply 141May 14, 2024 6:13 PM

Depending on others and expecting things of them is the main source of most people's problems. When you have no expectations, you can't be disappointed.

by Anonymousreply 142May 14, 2024 6:17 PM

Happy Birthday R139. I hope this year brings you happiness and more opportunities.

by Anonymousreply 143May 14, 2024 6:21 PM

thank you R143; I've been depressed as hell.

Kindness from an acquaintance made all the difference yesterday.

by Anonymousreply 144May 14, 2024 6:26 PM

OP, it's easy to say, but: Don't look too hard for a relationship.

If you're miserable now, you'll be miserable in a relationship as well.

by Anonymousreply 145May 14, 2024 6:35 PM

I see you on those Botox commercials I dislike so much. You know fixing wrinkles and getting an SO doesn’t equal happiness right?

by Anonymousreply 146May 14, 2024 7:10 PM

36 is old????? Lololol. Gurl. You’re in for a LOOOONNGGG road if you think 36 is old.

by Anonymousreply 147May 14, 2024 7:16 PM

Happy birthday r139. Hope you have a good day.

by Anonymousreply 148May 14, 2024 7:24 PM

I look older than my age and it's weird because I don't really have any wrinkles. My problem is my hair (or lack thereof) and the fact I'm carrying a little extra weight. I'm losing the weight, but my hair won't grow back so I've learnt to accept it.

The way I see it, I can waste time worrying about the inevitable, or I can just get on with life. I chose the latter.

by Anonymousreply 149May 14, 2024 7:24 PM

36 and feeling old? Who the hell are you- Ann Romano?

by Anonymousreply 150May 14, 2024 7:27 PM

Dammit, r150!

* slap *

by Anonymousreply 151May 14, 2024 7:30 PM

Get Botox for the forehead lines and keep having it regularly.

by Anonymousreply 152May 14, 2024 7:32 PM

I feel like I have to find a way to "own" it - aging I mean. I announce it now (at 69). "Look I'm old - so give me a break..." kind of shit. Don't know why. It just helps me accept it and find a new way to deal with people and their altered perception. It just ain't the same when you hit the line - people only see the aged-ness.

sorry for the ramble, I can't put it into words. But I have a feeling it's gonna get a lot worse. In the last couple years, I lost my two best friends - 50 years of friendship each, from the hippie college days. And now I just have to plod on, figuring out how to reinvent myself. Reading Dostoyevski's rant about how much the world sucks in 'Notes from the Underground' and studying Stoicism and Nietzsche and all sorts of things to firm up my mental health.

by Anonymousreply 153May 15, 2024 3:13 PM

Just ask Miss Cruise, she looks terrible!

I'm sooooo upset! Time waits for no" 3-times divorced closeted faggot"

by Anonymousreply 154May 16, 2024 4:19 PM

R153 Thoughtful reflection.

I think it doesn't "get worse", what happens is, "it gets different."

Everything is impermanent. Everything is changing. We are trees who are losing their leaves... winter is here.

And winter can be beautiful. And whether beautiful or not, it IS.

by Anonymousreply 155May 16, 2024 5:15 PM

Spend less time and energy on being "gay" and more time and energy on being you. Find a career that you can tolerate enough to make good money. Invest. Hang around with people smarter and more successful than you. Don't suffer fools. Don't hang out with energy vampires. Don't worry about the local gay gossip. Drink less. Read more. Attend more cultural and charity events. Make sure there are plenty of real old people in your life. They are wise. Learn from them. I suspect you might be trying to keep up with the twenty somethings. Don't. This is their time. You had yours. Move on and move up. You're going to love who you grow up to be,

by Anonymousreply 156May 16, 2024 5:41 PM

OP, don't be Weak and Gay!

by Anonymousreply 157May 16, 2024 5:41 PM

Be sure to pleasure yourself and occasionally worship yourself in its totality: your body, your favorite movies/food/sex, your dislikes, your experiences, your decisions, your "mistakes" - all wonderful, unique parts of you! You deserve to praise yourself ABOVE ALL OTHERS! Your needs are valid and should come first in your world! I may be ugly IRL lol, but I have to love myself at some level.

by Anonymousreply 158May 16, 2024 5:43 PM

OP if you don't have friends, it's not too late. Lots of people see alterations to their friend groups as they approach 40, get some therapy, and get an activity that will put you in the vicinity of people with similar interests.

I know you've probably heard this before, but do it. You are feeling despair and you need help with that,

by Anonymousreply 159May 16, 2024 6:34 PM

r159, my interpretation of his losing friends is that they died.

by Anonymousreply 160May 16, 2024 8:42 PM

[quote] [R159], my interpretation of his losing friends is that they died.

Don't think so. OP is just 36.

by Anonymousreply 161May 16, 2024 9:49 PM

Hang out with me OP we can have fun. I need a bud hang out with!

by Anonymousreply 162May 17, 2024 1:45 AM

you're right, r161. for some reason I thought I was replying to r153

by Anonymousreply 163May 17, 2024 3:06 AM
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