I notice that I a becoming such an asshole and I want to stop.
On my walk to work this morning, a mack truck driver went to make a turn but was too late so the truck ended up sticking out in the middle of the road blocking the crosswalk. I had to go around and was a few inches away from traffic. My reaction was to make eye contact, give him two thumbs up, followed by some sarcastic clapping, and topped it off by calling him an asshole.
I feel like I have gotten really angry lately when dealing with the public. My job is very client-facing and I have noticed that requests I get that previously would have been "no problem" are now met with "ugh this fucker". Every trip on the subway is like pulling teeth and toenails because of the idiots that I have to interact with. I find that when I don't have to leave my apartment (nights and weekends) I don't leave my apartment.
This started well after I returned to work so I can't even blame it on the pandemic. I'm in my mid-forties...maybe it's andropause? I don't want to be a bitter old stereotype.....what can I do to be less of a raging bitch?
by Anonymous | reply 39 | October 23, 2024 11:37 AM
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Does your condo smell like farts too?
by Anonymous | reply 1 | February 22, 2024 7:26 PM
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When I had to work with the public I had to deal with all kinds of shit and ended up really disliking people in general now. I’m fortunate I can be more of a hermit now. I feel you, OP.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | February 22, 2024 7:27 PM
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OP -- I want to hear the rest of the story. You know--the part where the truck driver got out of his truck, dragged you into an alley and gave you the best fuck of your life.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | February 22, 2024 7:32 PM
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I think it's natural when you get older and live in a large city like New York. Your tolerance threshold becomes much lower. Find a way to deal with all the excess stimuli. It's ok to stay home if that's where you're comfortable.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | February 22, 2024 7:34 PM
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People have become so outrageous (and totally entitled) that it is going to be a career ender for me.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | February 22, 2024 7:34 PM
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OP - can we have your stuff when someone pulls out a gun and mows you down?
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 7 | February 22, 2024 7:35 PM
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You’re not an asshole, you have anxiety and it’s making you act like an asshole.
True ashield aren’t that self-aware.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | February 22, 2024 7:38 PM
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OP sounds like you live in a big city like New York City. That place drove me nuts even in my early 30s! Too noisy! Too many people! Too expensive! Too smelly! Maybe you’re getting extra sensitive as you’re getting older. Or maybe you haven’t taken a vacation in a long time? Maybe you’re just burnt out? Perhaps try some meditation or some breathing techniques? Anyway, I wish you well!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 9 | February 22, 2024 7:39 PM
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natural aging phenomenon, just not putting up with anyone else's shit anymore
now its time to work on the phoney "kill them with kindness" act - and you have to be convincing
by Anonymous | reply 12 | February 22, 2024 7:50 PM
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OP, please be careful. I used to be a sarcastic asshole until I realized it might get me killed (I'm in NYC). Learn to ignore stupidity like I have. It's just not worth it.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | February 22, 2024 8:03 PM
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I believe we have long been conditioned to be insufferable assholes courtesy of the television sitcom which endeavors to make the attitude palatable courtesy of a willing live studio audience. I personally blame Carla from “Cheers!” Surely there had to have been some tapings where someone stood up and cried “that’s over the line, Carla!” Instead, sitcoms are now infested by entire casts of characters who do nothing but cruelly call one another out, put one another down. Everyone is made to feel inferior with uproarious laughter as the backdrop. Now we live in a world where Carla’s dismembered limbs and torso would be found throughout the neighborhood trash bins of Boston and amidst the horror of this, knee jerk wisecracks as a first response.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | February 22, 2024 8:42 PM
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R15 & R4 - I believe R1 is referring to another thread on DL from a few weeks ago where someone was complaining that his home smelled like farts because of a roommate or boyfriend. I can't remember which.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | February 23, 2024 4:03 AM
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R12 is right. You become troll-like with age. If we lived long enough, we’d probably morph into mushroom creatures. Sentient fungus.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | February 23, 2024 4:52 AM
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you might just be unhappy or stressed for various other reasons and displacing those emotions. if you were happy with the rest of your life outside of those moments of frustration you probably wouldn't be sent off the edge like that. it's okay. you don't seem like an asshole because you're recognizing it and not blaming others.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | February 23, 2024 4:56 AM
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I picture OP doing this to the truck driver.
Control your instincts, OP-especially if you live in the US, an insane country full of insane people with an insane amount of firearms at their disposal.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 19 | February 23, 2024 4:59 AM
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You could invite the neighborhood kids to play on your lawn.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | February 23, 2024 5:06 AM
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Sounds like industrialized human disease. Driving a truck is an incredibly tough job. I did it for a while and never have looked at truck drivers the same way. I once had a job as a cook. It was really hard. I have never looked at cooks the same. Running a restaurant is a really hard job. What you have is a lack of empathy because you are burnt out. Maybe it’s time for a change. Have you a vision for your life something you always wanted to do. A place you want to see.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | February 23, 2024 5:12 AM
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Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!
by Anonymous | reply 22 | February 23, 2024 5:31 AM
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Eventually - you'll become a total cunt OP. Especially on DL. It's just part of getting older and becoming more knowledgeable, experienced and aware. That's a polite way of saying what R12 said. I especially agree that much of it's about not putting up with other people shit.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | February 23, 2024 10:53 AM
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I disagree, r23. I’m becoming more tolerant and less quick to anger as I age.
Of course, it might be dementia.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | February 23, 2024 4:19 PM
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You’d be far more of an asshole if you weren’t even aware that you chose a less-than-optimum response. It is all to your credit that you noticed and wished you’d chosen better. That in itself will save you if you can just move the recognition time up a few seconds earlier than you did this time and choose the less regrettable one next time.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | February 23, 2024 4:43 PM
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OP I was just saying to my husband that I am becoming a meaner curmudgeon every day. I hate being anywhere with the public. I find that people are aloof, and shallow and vague- by that I mean they either don’t know themselves or don’t care or both. I was a public defender for years. But my disgust with the human race really started because of the bigotry and bullying I encountered along the way to me trying to be a decent, kind human. The criminal defense clients drove me crazy because their real problems had nothing to do with their crimes, and I couldn’t solve them but had to endure them in order to represent them. I feel like I am nastier, quicker to anger, and far more prone to keeping the company of a few people- usually family. I know why people become hermits. And I don’t disagree. Also social media has made people feel freer to just be mean, even in person.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | February 23, 2024 5:43 PM
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I had something similar happen to me today, with somebody pulled so far beyond the stop line into the intersection, in a failed bid to turn left, that she blocked the intersection. Part of it is idiotic bike lanes, shoved according to ideology not sensible planning, and sitting empty. I have to get out of the city and leave progress to its fate. I'm a cunt, but not this big.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | February 23, 2024 7:12 PM
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OP, I’m glad you recognise your treatment of the truck driver is an issue. Pull back and think - what will you get out of it? Nothing.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | February 24, 2024 7:03 AM
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I remind myself every day that 99% of the population isn’t out to get me nor are they trying to sabotage my life. I also think of the many things I screw up, be it in the car or outside, and I am grateful for those who didn’t immediately make a scene.
That puts things in perspective, OPee
by Anonymous | reply 29 | February 24, 2024 8:14 AM
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That's my retirement plan, R30!
by Anonymous | reply 31 | February 24, 2024 10:50 AM
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OP, I have heard a lot of medical experts on radio and podcasts saying that this is a very common post-Covid reaction. Not to having the disease, to having been through the pandemic. It's a combination of having been bored and frustrated, and a bit of PTSD.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | February 24, 2024 12:36 PM
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OP I share your sentiment. I too have become mean since returning to the office and having to take the subway. These last few months have broken me. I used to be a caring, smiling at strangers type. Now since returning to work in person I fucking hate everyone. I often sport the most bitchy of bitch faces one can imagine when riding the subway.
Note to straights: , it is not contagious and I do not want to fuck you
by Anonymous | reply 33 | October 22, 2024 2:25 AM
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[quote]It's a combination of being bored and frustrated and a little bit of PTSD.
Sure, Jan.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | October 22, 2024 2:49 AM
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[quote]I’m becoming more tolerant and less quick to anger as I age.
I'm in agreement with R24, but I'm also about 20 years older than OP. When in my 40s, I had to do a certain amount of buffering: allowing more time to get somewhere, taking a philosophical approach where a wrench was thrown into the works, asserting myself when interruptions affected work deadlines, trying to consider everyone else's perspective in any situation, realizing that a good day or a bad day is the sum of selected moments - or rather my interpretation and handling of them. I relearned to take a breath before reacting to some things, to give a moment of consideration. You can fall out of the practice, easily.
Also, life has to be something better than work, and when it is, the other things fall more easily into place.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | October 22, 2024 3:08 AM
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I don't hate the public, but at 71 I have become acutely aware of how brainless and ignorant so many have become. I once thought I'd never see such a dumbing down of general public intelligence during my lifetime. But it has happened and won't turn around before I'm long dead. I've leaned I have to just block it out and treasure the interactions I have with people who are actually intelligent, which are becoming fewer and fewer. I keep interactions with those I consider morons as short as possible.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | October 23, 2024 9:33 AM
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r36 I could have written that and I'm 44.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | October 23, 2024 9:42 AM
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Sounds more like the OP is stressed or anxious about something else and is taking it out on others.
Like someone else said, actual assholes don't think they're assholes, nor would they ever feel any guilt for it.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | October 23, 2024 10:18 AM
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OP- Thank you for speaking up for the other 50 people who had to walk in traffic. You told a selfish asshole that he's a selfish asshole? What's the problem? 38 responses and no screaming about the LAW BREAKING CRIMINAL who is not permitted to block the intersection?
That driver should be ticketed and receive points on his license and reported to his company. I wish people were as outraged about the car driving criminals as the deodorant robbing/bus fare beating thug on the street.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | October 23, 2024 11:37 AM
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