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Let's Be.....an Eldergay's Last Will and Testament

I'm the collection of Fiestaware™, bequeathed to Alejandro the pool boy.

I'm also the inclusion of 'for reasons best known to her', which fails to register with the thirty-something Executor.

by Anonymousreply 14February 10, 2024 7:45 PM

Alejandro won't appreciate it but your best gal pal will unless they're all black.

by Anonymousreply 1February 10, 2024 4:14 PM

I'm the requisite use of the phrase '"..reasons which are well-known to them.".

by Anonymousreply 2February 10, 2024 4:21 PM

I am the stipulation that the body, the cat’s ashes, and the signed portrait of Quentin Crisp shall be incinerated at the hottest possible temperature known to mortuary science while all the deceased’s side pieces gather to dab the tears from their eyes and exclaim that no one has ever flamed better.

I also include the note that, if possible, someone should drape themselves over the coffin and scream inconsolably just prior to the testimonials which should stray as far as possible from the facts.

Lastly, if the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are free that weekend, I am the deceased’s express wish that they serve wafers and hear confessions at the wake.

by Anonymousreply 3February 10, 2024 4:23 PM

I'm the credit card debt.

by Anonymousreply 4February 10, 2024 4:26 PM

I'm the charitable donation to........*pause*.....the Republican Party.

by Anonymousreply 5February 10, 2024 5:00 PM

I am the forgotten notary stamp, leading to everything going to the nearest blood relative, 3rd cousin Dee Plorable.

by Anonymousreply 6February 10, 2024 5:02 PM

I'll cut right to the chase, OP. You *aren't* in the will.

by Anonymousreply 7February 10, 2024 5:04 PM

I'm the hopeful niece who called weekly, hoping she'd get some dough.

by Anonymousreply 8February 10, 2024 7:00 PM

I'm the niece's disappointment when she's bequeathed Uncle Adam's entire collection of Photoplay.

Fifty plus years of mylar wrapped magazines. Who the fuck is Claudette Colbert? The Goodwill might take these?

by Anonymousreply 9February 10, 2024 7:08 PM

I'm the instructions for the "naughty box".

by Anonymousreply 10February 10, 2024 7:12 PM

I'm the caftan codicil.

by Anonymousreply 11February 10, 2024 7:14 PM

I'm the lifetime of personal correspondence with Faith Prince.

by Anonymousreply 12February 10, 2024 7:17 PM

My extended family has discussed "who" gets my money when I die, since I have no immediate relatives.

So when I die, I want all my relatives to have to gather at an inconvenient location and tell them all off while announcing that none of them get anything, and have a coffin full of fire lit of fire before them.

by Anonymousreply 13February 10, 2024 7:42 PM

I'm the Latino houseboy who inherits EVERYTHING. I'll never have to plow another elder gay flabby white ass in my life. I'm gonna buy a house with a pool and then a car.

by Anonymousreply 14February 10, 2024 7:45 PM
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