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Weird behavior from a guy I work with.

I have a co-worker at work that I see from time to time. We don’t talk, but I noticed if we cross paths and he’d see me he’d either act avoidant like looking down or he’d make this frowning face and stick his head up. I don’t know what his deal is because I haven’t done anything to him to make his act this way, and he doesn’t act like this with other people so what is this guys deal?

by Anonymousreply 132February 17, 2024 2:04 AM

Perhaps he has avoidant personality disorder.

Or, maybe he's "on the spectrum."

by Anonymousreply 1February 10, 2024 4:46 AM

You blew him once and don't remember, OP. Try to get a glimpse of his cock at the urinal and hope it jogs a memory.

by Anonymousreply 2February 10, 2024 4:50 AM

Why don't you ask him?

by Anonymousreply 3February 10, 2024 4:52 AM

Make a funny comment to him. He's just shy/uncomfortable. Once you speak once I bet thibgs will be fine

by Anonymousreply 4February 10, 2024 4:56 AM

OP you want us to say that he has a crush on you and is too shy and awkward around you. In reality, you’re probably just a cunt and you don’t know it.

by Anonymousreply 5February 10, 2024 4:56 AM

Just yell at him “Take a picture - it will last longer!”

It doesn’t apply, but it’s a snappy line.

by Anonymousreply 6February 10, 2024 4:57 AM

Did he possibly show up to a remote gay bar, see your naked ass on the pool table after midnight taking all cummers, and leave without you seeing him, hmmmmm?

by Anonymousreply 7February 10, 2024 5:00 AM

We have someone like that at my law firm. We pass each other he stares at the floor. Fine by me, I don’t need to interact with him to get my job done.

by Anonymousreply 8February 10, 2024 5:04 AM

He’s on to you.

by Anonymousreply 9February 10, 2024 5:12 AM

He doesn’t like you. Either thinks you’re an idiot or he’s just a homophobe.

Don’t assist him with anything.

by Anonymousreply 10February 10, 2024 5:27 AM

I don’t do anything to him, we don’t even speak. I don’t think I remember doing anything with or to him because I would have remembered his face. He’s the only one in the building that acts like this towards me. Also, no I don’t want him to like me. I don’t get any gay vibes from him. Hmm, but I do wonder tho…

by Anonymousreply 11February 10, 2024 5:32 AM

R5. Actually we don’t even interact much. I’m a very nice person, but idk what his deal is lol.

by Anonymousreply 12February 10, 2024 5:33 AM

He think that you think that you’re too good for him.

by Anonymousreply 13February 10, 2024 5:37 AM

[quote] or he’d make this frowning face and stick his head up.

I'm trying to picture this and I can't. What do you mean?

by Anonymousreply 14February 10, 2024 6:12 AM

Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s.

by Anonymousreply 15February 10, 2024 6:20 AM

Fuck off, R15.

by Anonymousreply 16February 10, 2024 6:21 AM

So just ignore him. Don't look at him, don't smile at him, make an effort to not run into him or be near him or anything.

Clearly you rub him the wrong way for some reason. And he's trying to avoid you. So just make it easier for him. And for yourself. Just pretend he doesn't exist unless your work demands it for whatever reason, then be brief, cordial, business-like, and then go back to ignoring/avoiding him afterwards.

Not everyone is going to like you. No reason to try to waste your time and his forcing the issue.

by Anonymousreply 17February 10, 2024 6:35 AM

Do you have resting bitch face? Maybe that’s why.

by Anonymousreply 18February 10, 2024 6:58 AM

The colleague is repulsed by your obsequious, approval-seeking character not to mention the first times you crossed in the halls you obviously checked out his crotch AND ass.

by Anonymousreply 19February 10, 2024 7:49 AM

He obviously knows you're talking about him on Datalounge and doesn't like it.

by Anonymousreply 20February 10, 2024 8:24 AM

Compliment his shoes with some mild feigned sincerity. Don’t press for where he purchased or the cost. A simple compliment will do.

Another manipulative trick is to ask if you may borrow a pen. Give it back promptly and thank him.

by Anonymousreply 21February 10, 2024 10:32 AM

He knows you 're just a big ole nellie MARY! and feels deeply uncomfortable.

by Anonymousreply 22February 10, 2024 10:44 AM

He notices you glaring at him with your “Well?!!” face every time you pass.

by Anonymousreply 23February 10, 2024 10:46 AM

Just say hi in a breezy way. He’s probably shy. It takes less effort to break the ice than think about what his deal is.

by Anonymousreply 24February 10, 2024 10:49 AM

Valentine's Day is coming up. Now's your chance to give him a little box of SweetHearts candy as a conversation starter.

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by Anonymousreply 25February 10, 2024 11:33 AM

You're the weird one OP

by Anonymousreply 26February 10, 2024 11:38 AM

[quote] Compliment his shoes with some mild feigned sincerity. Don’t press for where he purchased or the cost. A simple compliment will do.

Something along the lines of:

“Hi, you.

I really like those shoes. They’re so polished.

Do you think maybe I could borrow them sometime?”

by Anonymousreply 27February 10, 2024 12:06 PM

He voted for Bernie in 2016 and blames himself for Hillary’s loss. He knows you don’t forgive him and wants to avoid a messy scene.

by Anonymousreply 28February 10, 2024 12:22 PM

frowning and tilting your head up is actually a form of greeting for straight men, it's ghetto/white trash coded but a real thing.

by Anonymousreply 29February 10, 2024 12:32 PM

It's not you, it's him. Don't give it another thought and ignore him.

by Anonymousreply 30February 10, 2024 12:41 PM

Offer to take him bowling.

I guarantee you, by the eighth frame, you’ll have him eating out of your ass.

by Anonymousreply 31February 10, 2024 12:46 PM

[quote] Fuck off, [R15].

Would you like a Frosty with that?

by Anonymousreply 32February 10, 2024 12:47 PM

Is he fairly young?

I've noticed younger workers are incredibly socially awkward. They spend their lives with their noses buried in their phones and don't have a clue about how to interact with human beings.

by Anonymousreply 33February 10, 2024 12:53 PM

[quote] frowning and tilting your head up is actually a form of greeting for straight men

R29 Yes. The ‘sup

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by Anonymousreply 34February 10, 2024 1:27 PM

I used to do this with the guy I had a big crush on in High School

by Anonymousreply 35February 10, 2024 1:31 PM

[quote]I've noticed younger workers are incredibly socially awkward. They spend their lives with their noses buried in their phones and don't have a clue about how to interact with human beings.

The forced frown i.e. disgusted look on his face makes it seem like he just doesn’t like OP.

Again. Probably a homophobe.

by Anonymousreply 36February 10, 2024 1:45 PM

[quote]frowning and tilting your head up is actually a form of greeting for straight men

There is no frowning involved.

by Anonymousreply 37February 10, 2024 1:45 PM

OP, avoid him at all costs. His strange behavior sound like a serial killer and his frowns are the voices in his head arguing about how to kill you.

by Anonymousreply 38February 10, 2024 1:46 PM

He's not that into you.

by Anonymousreply 39February 10, 2024 2:03 PM

OP, might it be your uncontrollable flatulence? Or maybe it was the office memo warning young men to avoid eye contact with you.

by Anonymousreply 40February 10, 2024 2:09 PM

I hate to make eye contact with people. I'll check my watch or cell phone.

by Anonymousreply 41February 10, 2024 3:25 PM

He's uncomfortable because you're looking at him. If you weren't looking at him you'd wouldn't notice the fact he's avoiding acknowledging you.

Also, are you openly gay? That's another nail in the coffin as far as being polite with him.

by Anonymousreply 42February 10, 2024 3:26 PM

He's just not into you, Florabelle.

by Anonymousreply 43February 10, 2024 3:33 PM

Maybe he knows that you see him 5 minutes a day and yet obsess about him constantly.

Dudes can smell that shit from a mile away

by Anonymousreply 44February 10, 2024 3:38 PM

This ^^^^^.

I'm guessing the guy that has OP set to ignore, is younger, good looking and straight.

If he was some old dude, OP would not be so butt hurt and posting on here.

by Anonymousreply 45February 10, 2024 3:42 PM

This sounds like the textbook troll nutbag

by Anonymousreply 46February 10, 2024 3:44 PM

+ 1 with r17

Then, in about 20 years, he’ll be posting on a DL thread about the one that got away because he was too shy to interact with you.

But, really, the times in my life when I couldn’t get somebody’s attention, I now realize it wasn’t about them. It was about me.

“Never chase” were the wise words passed along to me by a beloved relative.

I pass them along to you.

by Anonymousreply 47February 10, 2024 3:47 PM

He's lucky he didn't turn into a Friendsickle during the playoffs.

by Anonymousreply 48February 10, 2024 3:50 PM

It’s just a coworker. Don’t even waste your energy trying to figure out some rude weirdo at work.

If he doesn’t want to look at you or say hi - fine.

One less person to deal with at the job.

by Anonymousreply 49February 10, 2024 3:57 PM

Only two real options here:

1) wait until he goes into the lunch room, then you join the table of the cool, young hot girls. Briefly look over at him, swing your head back and then laugh uproariously with your new besties.

2) Nod and say "good morning" the next time you cross paths.

by Anonymousreply 50February 10, 2024 4:00 PM

I've had people in the workplace with whom I never interacted, but for whatever reason, I could tell I rubbed them the wrong way.

They were work people, though, so I didn't care. In fact, the less interaction with people, the better.

by Anonymousreply 51February 10, 2024 4:06 PM

It’s because you smell and no one likes you.

by Anonymousreply 52February 10, 2024 4:06 PM

You need to organize an awkward work party is his honor and insist he be your best friend.

by Anonymousreply 53February 10, 2024 4:17 PM

OP, we need more details. How old is he? Is he good looking? How old are you? Are you out?

by Anonymousreply 54February 10, 2024 4:22 PM

This reminds me of The Golden Girls episode where Rose couldn't accept her co-worker just didn't care for her?

by Anonymousreply 55February 10, 2024 4:29 PM

OP, maybe you need to dial it down a bit?

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by Anonymousreply 56February 10, 2024 4:31 PM

Is your gayness that obvious? Maybe he’s homophobic.

by Anonymousreply 57February 10, 2024 4:35 PM

But guys how would he know that I am gay though? I don’t give any outward signs that I am gay(at least I do not think I do).

R33, no. He is a “light skinned” guy. He looks older and younger at the same time, if that makes sense? My guess probably 34-40. He’s not as young as me.

R45. No I’m not obsessing. Call it what you want but I noticed him doing it and I was just curious. No butthurt here.

by Anonymousreply 58February 10, 2024 4:48 PM

R58 would you like to ride his cock?

by Anonymousreply 59February 10, 2024 4:50 PM

There was this guy I'd routinely see at the at the gym but didn't ever have a conversation with. On several occasions—at the store or at (apparently) our mutual workplace—I ran into him and would give a little nod and smile of acknowledgment, and he'd invariably look away with a little frown, almost a grimace. I have no idea why, but whatever.

by Anonymousreply 60February 10, 2024 4:52 PM

"would you like to ride his cock?"

It's the only reason I keep saying hello to him!

by Anonymousreply 61February 10, 2024 4:55 PM

^ I actually don’t say hello to him because of how he acts, troll.

by Anonymousreply 62February 10, 2024 4:56 PM

Not everyone is going to like you OP, learn to deal with it. In this case it sounds like you dodged a bullet, better this than him liking you.

by Anonymousreply 63February 10, 2024 5:00 PM

We can tell you're gay from SPACE, Mary.

by Anonymousreply 64February 10, 2024 5:04 PM

I think the guy has a crush on you and feels that you have somehow signaled a lack of interest so now he’s putting up a big show of not caring.

by Anonymousreply 65February 10, 2024 5:10 PM

For some reason, you intimidate him. It's a good position for you to be in - keep doing what you're doing.

by Anonymousreply 66February 10, 2024 5:20 PM

[quote] “Never chase” were the wise words passed along to me by a beloved relative.

Oh honey, no, you misheard me. It was never chaste.

by Anonymousreply 67February 10, 2024 5:27 PM

[quote] This reminds me of The Golden Girls episode where Rose couldn't accept her co-worker just didn't care for her?

Betty. That wasn't an episode.

by Anonymousreply 68February 10, 2024 5:29 PM

I agree with Keanu.

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by Anonymousreply 69February 10, 2024 5:30 PM


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by Anonymousreply 70February 10, 2024 5:31 PM

Are you bigger than him?

by Anonymousreply 71February 10, 2024 5:32 PM

R68 yes it was

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by Anonymousreply 72February 10, 2024 5:33 PM

I have no more idea what his deal is than you do but I tell you now: the relationship that you and he won’t have will not have to be a nightmare. Imagine having to guess at his tastes in movies, meals, and friends for the rest of your lives? He’d be making his frowny face and sticking his head up every minute!

You should thank the Almighty that through the grace of His love, you and Mr. Frowny are now and forever will remain total mysteries to one another.

by Anonymousreply 73February 10, 2024 5:35 PM

No R71, he’s way taller than me. A think a good head taller. I’m 5’6.

by Anonymousreply 74February 10, 2024 6:03 PM

'Good head'...


by Anonymousreply 75February 10, 2024 6:05 PM

Last year I sat next to a young, new guy at an office lunch at a restaurant. We had never interacted or even said "hello" prior to this, just perhaps passed in the hallway on the rare occasions I'm in the office. We had a nice chat. When we were leaving, he said he enjoyed the chat and was glad we had it as he always thought I was "scary". WTF. I'm not a smiley person but I'm not mean or craggy looking either. I asked him why he thought I was "scary". He had no concrete answer for this opinion he formed of me, he just giggled like a schoolgirl and shrugged his shoulders and said "I don't know why". Also, I noticed I was the only one who engaged him during the lunch, other co-workers who are not WFH and interact with him daily were not including him in their conversations. He drove back to the office in this own car while the others headed back to the office had all carpooled. I think he's the weirdo and OP's co-worker is also the socially awkward weirdo.

by Anonymousreply 76February 10, 2024 6:31 PM

r37 in my experience growing up around cholos and wiggers it absolutely is

by Anonymousreply 77February 10, 2024 6:35 PM

In my experience growing up around everyone there isn’t unless they hate you.

by Anonymousreply 78February 10, 2024 6:40 PM

So many people trying to gaslight the OP into getting the shit kicked out of him. Just avoid him completely.

by Anonymousreply 79February 10, 2024 6:40 PM

Have you tried presenting hole, OP?

by Anonymousreply 80February 10, 2024 6:43 PM

Next time, OP, frown and raise your own head in response—maybe you'll bond.

by Anonymousreply 81February 10, 2024 6:43 PM

R76 How the young, new guy saw you:

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by Anonymousreply 82February 10, 2024 6:46 PM

I suggest you wink at him, followed by a a slow licking of your lips while you continue to stare at him.

Straight guys can’t resist that.

by Anonymousreply 83February 10, 2024 6:53 PM

[quote] He is a “light skinned” guy.

OP, what does this mean? He's black with light skin? Biracial?

And why is light-skinned in quotation marks?

by Anonymousreply 84February 10, 2024 6:53 PM

"And why is light-skinned in quotation marks?"

Because OP is an eldergay who is objectifying some poor office junior.

by Anonymousreply 85February 10, 2024 6:56 PM

I started a new job late last year. One guy is unfriendly, won't look at me, won't acknowledge me. (He works in a different division, so we don't ever have to work together.)

So, I decided to just ignore him. (Other new coworkers have been friendly, even people I don't work directly with.)

About a month ago, snob guy began acknowledging me. Call me petty, but at this point, I'm going to keep on ignoring him.

by Anonymousreply 86February 10, 2024 6:57 PM

I think you should put a fish behind one of the drawers in his office.

Enough said.

by Anonymousreply 87February 10, 2024 7:01 PM


by Anonymousreply 88February 10, 2024 7:06 PM

He’s a straight bigot and thinks you want to suck his dick.

by Anonymousreply 89February 10, 2024 7:19 PM

He doesn't like you & doesn't want to interact with you.

The reasons behind it are irrelevant, because you're not meant to be liked and appreciated by everyone, OP. No one is.

by Anonymousreply 90February 10, 2024 7:19 PM

This thread reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine and one of her apartment building's residents would politely say "hi" to each other at the mailbox. Then one day he stopped saying "hi" and ignoring and she became obsessed with why he was no longer acknowledging her, even though she didn't know who the hell he was outside of being the guy she saw at the mailbox.

by Anonymousreply 91February 10, 2024 7:29 PM

You remind him of a guy he once fucked at a music festival. He farted on the guy's dick and ruined the moment, and he still hasn't gotten over it.

by Anonymousreply 92February 10, 2024 7:44 PM

Perhaps he doesn't like people who don't use commas and leave out apostrophes.

by Anonymousreply 93February 10, 2024 8:10 PM

What does he look like OP? who would play him in a movie?

by Anonymousreply 94February 10, 2024 8:13 PM

Maybe he doesn't like short guys. You say you're only 5' 6" ?

by Anonymousreply 95February 10, 2024 8:19 PM

The fact that you post about this coworker you hardly know shows how obsessed you are with him. Maybe he sees right thru your obsession and is scared when you’re near him. Keep this up and expect a restraining order.

by Anonymousreply 96February 10, 2024 8:29 PM

The weird behaviour is OP's.

by Anonymousreply 97February 10, 2024 8:40 PM

This is why God made it possible for gay men to hiss.

by Anonymousreply 98February 10, 2024 8:45 PM

I don't think it's weird to wonder why someone treats you weirdly

by Anonymousreply 99February 10, 2024 8:45 PM

I remember an office homo writing in to Dan Savage once to ask if his behavior went beyond "having a crush."

He would follow his crush into the men's room and pretend to use a nearby urinal. After the crush finished and left the room, the guy would carefully collect any stray pubes the crush had left behind on the rim of the urinal. He then took them home, cleaned them, and held them between his lips while he jerked off.

Was this unhealthy, he asked.

by Anonymousreply 100February 10, 2024 8:45 PM

And was it, r100?

by Anonymousreply 101February 10, 2024 8:47 PM

R101 You bet your pubed-up teeth it was!

by Anonymousreply 102February 10, 2024 8:50 PM

R100 how many pubes can one guy cast while taking a piss?

by Anonymousreply 103February 10, 2024 8:53 PM

How would he know whose pubes he collected? They don’t clean the urinal after each use.

by Anonymousreply 104February 10, 2024 8:55 PM

This is just me, ok…

I would give him a taste of his own medicine only next time you initiate a disapproving look and you stick your nose up in the air at first glance. I have ZERO respect for ANYONE who displays a better-than-thou attitude. Especially if it’s to a total stranger. It’s ugly. In this case, have fun with it.

by Anonymousreply 105February 10, 2024 9:07 PM

R86 ok, I’ll call you petty. You still in middle school?

You might need him on a work project someday— so keep it professional.

Since he realized he was being a cunt, and made the first overture — why be a dick about it?

by Anonymousreply 106February 10, 2024 9:10 PM

Because I feel like it.

by Anonymousreply 107February 10, 2024 9:22 PM

YOU are the weird behavior, John.

by Anonymousreply 108February 10, 2024 9:22 PM

Okay guys, I just got some tea from a co-worker that has been working there a while. Apparently the guy is an asshole who’s mean to everyone. And he tries to get people to quit their jobs. He apparently is mean and racist and gets reported a lot but the higher ups don’t do anything because of favoritism. So I guess it’s just a him problem

by Anonymousreply 109February 10, 2024 10:16 PM

Nice try, OP. ^^^^

by Anonymousreply 110February 10, 2024 10:22 PM

A percentage of people in the workplace don't acknowledge greetings or greeting gestures. I actually know one who I'm conversational with in the afternoon but who doesn't talk at all or make eye contact with anyone before (approximately) lunchtime.

There's a couple of things I think about when it comes to the workplace. You're there to do your job, you don't have to make friends. If someone doesn't acknowledge you, feel free to ignore the person. You didn't choose your coworkers. There's a good chance some won't be compatible with you. Don't make it about yourself, it's not you. It's them.

by Anonymousreply 111February 10, 2024 10:25 PM

What about the "light skin"?

by Anonymousreply 112February 10, 2024 10:37 PM

The next time there's a "chance encounter," have a bunch of folders with papers in them, and as he approaches, pretend like you're trying to answer your cell phone, and 'accidentally' drop the folders in his path.

If he stops to help you pick them up, this could be an icebreaker. "Hi, have we met before? .. I'm (NAME) from (DEPARTMENT) ... and yes, as you can see, I'm a total klutz."

If he doesn't stop, then at least you'll know he's a rude a-hole who isn't worth your time.

by Anonymousreply 113February 10, 2024 10:50 PM

^Advice from Patty Lane of The Patty Duke Show, 1963.

by Anonymousreply 114February 10, 2024 10:53 PM

You can always say "Hello" to them, and if they don't respond after a few times... write them up!

by Anonymousreply 115February 10, 2024 11:44 PM

R113 OP isn't in high school

by Anonymousreply 116February 10, 2024 11:45 PM

R116 OP's vexation over this makes it sound like he is.

R114 And thank you. That's exactly what I was going for.

by Anonymousreply 117February 10, 2024 11:53 PM

Meanwhile, OP's coworker does not remember OP"s name, or even think about OP at all, whatsoever.

by Anonymousreply 118February 11, 2024 1:46 AM

He’s on the down-low but thinks YOU know. Or he has a crush on you but fears rejection so he acts like YOU have cooties so you will never suspect that he is totally obsessed with you. Bevare. I sense a potential stalker situation in your future. 🔮 👀

by Anonymousreply 119February 11, 2024 2:38 AM

What's weird?

He doesn't like you.

He never has liked you.

He never will like you.

by Anonymousreply 120February 11, 2024 2:42 AM

The only thing you can do is to make a point always to speak well of him to others.

by Anonymousreply 121February 11, 2024 2:44 AM

OP is either a profoundly insecure person who needs constant validation from others, or gives off MAJOR creepazoid vibes.

Perhaps a bit of both.

Either situation signals to people with healthy boundaries to stay away from OP.

by Anonymousreply 122February 11, 2024 2:53 AM

R119, thanks for making me laugh.

by Anonymousreply 123February 11, 2024 2:58 AM

My pleasure, r123.

by Anonymousreply 124February 11, 2024 3:18 AM

OP, show up at work one day wearing cha cha heels.

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by Anonymousreply 125February 11, 2024 4:57 AM

Here you are.

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by Anonymousreply 126February 11, 2024 4:59 AM

R122, oh you’ve Deduced all of this from a single post? Can I not just be curious about someone’s behavior? I guess anonymity puts batteries in peoples backs.

by Anonymousreply 127February 11, 2024 6:14 AM

I have ceased caring.

by Anonymousreply 128February 12, 2024 12:17 AM

I rather suspect that OP doesn't even have a job.

by Anonymousreply 129February 13, 2024 12:07 AM

We had someone like that at a job I had once. You'd encounter him in the hall and he'd look down as he passed by. That happened one day so I said, don't worry, I'm not gonna try to talk to you, and kept walking. He said something back but by then I was too far away to hear him.

by Anonymousreply 130February 17, 2024 12:28 AM

So many socially awkward people in any given workplace.

I also work with a drama queen (male) who catastrophizes everything. Also, a couple of women who are just negative about any new idea. They are like black clouds and I am learning to just avoid them to the extent that i can.

by Anonymousreply 131February 17, 2024 12:46 AM

I do that a lot. I really wish chin jerks were acceptable.

by Anonymousreply 132February 17, 2024 2:04 AM
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