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Our Closet-Case Server: "Are your related?"

I live just outside a major (if not big) city. Okay, it's San Francisco, and I live in Marin. For reasons I won't go into, my husband and I go out to lunch every Thursday. Today we went to a waterside place we haven't been to in about a year. The server was a little rotund fellow in his sixties, and he was just... all up in our business. He asked if we were related to each other and i said yes. He said, "How?" and I said "We're married." He was literally struck dumb. I sat there trying to understand if we were dealing with a homophobe or just a dumbass. In the meantime, I really just wanted my fucking food.

As the meal went on, it became clear that our server was a closet case. He kept approaching our table (while our mouths were full) and bemoaning the fact that he would never find love. We just wanted to eat lunch, and despite the fact that our mouths were full and actively chewing, he approached our table like 365 times to complain that he hasn't found love. I honestly could tell him why if he'd stop talking for five seconds.

I like this restaurant. I like the food. I like the view. But I won't be going back anytime soon because the server delivered a trauma dump along with the fish and chips.

by Anonymousreply 54February 12, 2024 12:14 AM

That whore was working u bishes for just the tip

by Anonymousreply 1February 9, 2024 7:11 AM

Why quit the restaurant over this buffoon? In the future, just make a reservation and ask not to be seated in blabbermouth's service area.

by Anonymousreply 2February 9, 2024 7:29 AM

We tipped 24%. What I left out was that right after we ordered dessert, our housekeeper texted us that there was a plumbing issue that we needed to get professionals in to deal with.. The server approached us for the 900th time and I said, I need a minute, my housekeeper just texted me that water is bubbling up through the shower and bathtub in both bathrooms, and I'm trying to coordinate the plumbers to come by. He would not stop talking, despite the fact that I was focused on my phone.

We were ten minutes away from home, and the plumbers were there when we arrived, so everything is okay. But I am haunted by the server. He said to us over and over, "I'm in my sixties, maybe I'm too old for love." He asked us what our favorite local restaurants were, and every one we mentioned he said he worked at, for a very long time. Like 20 years. We've never encountered him at any of these places.

Anyway, my point here is that the guy aggressively outed us, and I think he's a closet case. He seemed completely gobsmacked when he asked how we were related and I said were were married. He kept wandering back to our table after that, interrupting our conversations and ignoring the fact that our mouths were full, bemoaning the fact that he had never found love. I feel sorry for him or whatever, but I paid a lot of money for lunch and I'm not going to do it again just to listen to this guy complain. We were both pleasant as fuck to this guy, but I'm not going back for more.

by Anonymousreply 3February 9, 2024 7:47 AM

He was hoping you and hubby were looking for a third. He wanted you to ask when his shift ended.

You were his last chance and you made it all about you and your plumbing problems. So selfish.

by Anonymousreply 4February 9, 2024 8:08 AM

Okay that may be true but he was fug as hell. Maybe you and your boyfriend would be interested in taking on this charity case and reporting back. God bless.

by Anonymousreply 5February 9, 2024 8:18 AM

R5 I’m old, fat and ugly, and I haven’t had a boyfriend since the Reagan Administration. I’m only good for passing judgment on others at this point.

by Anonymousreply 6February 9, 2024 8:56 AM

That’s frustrating, OP. You and your husband were there to spend time with each other, not to get front-row seats to The Server Show.

by Anonymousreply 7February 9, 2024 9:23 AM

You made the mistake of feeding subject matter to Chatty Cathy. It seems to have been evident that he wanted to talk endlessly about himself and you foolishly answered his questions.

The way to rebuff unwanted questions is to answer back with a question, "Why would you ask?" Without variation abd in response to every question or half-assed explanation. "But why would you ask?"

It works brilliantly. Abd quickly, too, if you've perfected the cold, penetrating gaze.

Having missed your opportunity to ice him out, you were left with having to explain that you wanted him to fuck right off. But next time don't feed the pest.

"Really, I don't know why you are asking so many questions and telling us so much about yourself but I wish you wouldn't. We're just here for a quiet lunch, just the two of us. We'll give a signal if there's anything else we want, thanks "

by Anonymousreply 8February 9, 2024 9:57 AM

What R8 said. You can be polite but still set clear boundaries and expectations. Some people desperately need them.

by Anonymousreply 9February 9, 2024 10:26 AM

State you boundaries with serving staff THEN so you don't have to state them NOW.

by Anonymousreply 10February 9, 2024 10:31 AM

"For reasons you won't go into". Okay, Johnny Drama, why can't you just say, "we have lunch every Thursday." ? You seem a bit extra, and he was playing off of that.

by Anonymousreply 11February 9, 2024 2:34 PM

This has to be one of the most shallow things I've ever read on the DL. I don't care what the relief worker is saying as he throws loose grain out into the crowd and a few pieces make it into my mouth and I scramble for more on the ground. San Francisco is a small city?

by Anonymousreply 12February 9, 2024 2:55 PM

Is there a chance that you might move on with your life OP?

by Anonymousreply 13February 9, 2024 3:41 PM

Oh, the struggle. How will you ever pick up the pieces from this hardship?

At least your housekeeper will probably help.

by Anonymousreply 14February 9, 2024 3:44 PM

What dick wilting behavior. I bet the OP lives in the poor part of Marin or Marin adjacent. New money not earned.

by Anonymousreply 15February 9, 2024 4:05 PM

How did the waiter out you? You outed yourself. Your story sounds fishy too. You hadn't been to this restaurant in a year, then you say this incident means you won't be going back anytime soon? Clearly not, if history tells us anything. And why are you prattling on about your plumbing? I'm with R11. If this annoying creature you describe actually exists, he might have descended upon you because he detected a kindred soul.

by Anonymousreply 16February 9, 2024 5:22 PM

Tales of Marin City

1/10 EST

by Anonymousreply 17February 9, 2024 5:30 PM

This happened.

by Anonymousreply 18February 9, 2024 6:13 PM

R15 The low income area of Marin County is Marin City. But if you lived there you probably wouldn’t have a housekeeper.

by Anonymousreply 19February 9, 2024 6:19 PM

I know that. It’s called sarcasm.

by Anonymousreply 20February 9, 2024 6:22 PM

As if he's never encountered a gay married couple in SFO.

How come the second time he interrupted your meal about something unrelated to service you didn't give him your best Miranda Priestly imitation. "That is all" is a very effective dismissal.

by Anonymousreply 21February 9, 2024 7:16 PM

Instead of a tip, did you leave a note that started with, "for reasons that are well known to him.."?

by Anonymousreply 22February 9, 2024 10:18 PM

I woulds socked him right in da nose!

by Anonymousreply 23February 9, 2024 10:24 PM

Don’t be avoidant. Next time say, “Sorry, we’re in the middle of something.”

by Anonymousreply 24February 9, 2024 10:55 PM

^Don’t be avoidant about going back.

by Anonymousreply 25February 9, 2024 10:58 PM

Your trials and tribulations must be too much to bear, OP.

by Anonymousreply 26February 9, 2024 11:00 PM

Lost me at "little rotund fellow"

by Anonymousreply 27February 9, 2024 11:04 PM

[quote] I live just outside a major (if not big) city. Okay, it's San Francisco, and I live in Marin.

Why not just say “I live in Marin?”

by Anonymousreply 28February 9, 2024 11:06 PM

[quote] The server was a little rotund fellow in his sixties

I am a little rotund fellow in his sixties, and I don’t like your tone.

by Anonymousreply 29February 9, 2024 11:08 PM

R28 Indeed, why not also just say "my husband and I eat lunch out each Thursday"? It's not as exciting like that.

by Anonymousreply 30February 9, 2024 11:08 PM

“For reasons I won’t go into”

Did a witch place a curse upon you where you are forced to go out to lunch every Thursday?

by Anonymousreply 31February 9, 2024 11:57 PM

[quote] We tipped 24%.

Why reward the guy for making your lunch a horrible experience?

by Anonymousreply 32February 10, 2024 4:49 AM

[quote] For reasons I won't go into


by Anonymousreply 33February 10, 2024 6:45 AM

To satisfy their addiction to ostentation, R32.

by Anonymousreply 34February 10, 2024 7:30 AM

Barely believable to start with, but the "housekeeper" texting you turned it into "this never happened."

by Anonymousreply 35February 10, 2024 9:15 AM

[quote]R35 For reasons I won't go into, my husband and I go out to lunch every Thursday.

It’s hard to imagine there would be an [italic]interesting[/italic] reason for this.

by Anonymousreply 36February 10, 2024 9:45 AM

Why can't these cosplaying OPs at least be amusing?

by Anonymousreply 37February 10, 2024 9:57 AM

OP, you and your husband sound utterly obnoxious. You must be old school gays.

by Anonymousreply 38February 10, 2024 5:29 PM

I'd rather my husband text me while I'm having a sexually awkward lunch with my housekeeper.

by Anonymousreply 39February 10, 2024 7:14 PM

Dear OP, Thanks alot for Blabbing about the Great Service i provided for you. Actually it was YOU that kept talking , going On and On ! I was just Doing my job quite competantly and trying to get the both of you to Leave as we had people waiting.

by Anonymousreply 40February 10, 2024 7:25 PM


by Anonymousreply 41February 10, 2024 7:27 PM

Were you at Sam’s in Tiburon?

by Anonymousreply 42February 10, 2024 7:28 PM

[quote]But I am haunted by the server.

Confirms R38's suspicion.

by Anonymousreply 43February 10, 2024 7:49 PM

There are so many gay twin couples around that we'll need to see a current photo of you and your husband to determine whether or not this server was off the mark with his "Are you related?" question.

by Anonymousreply 44February 10, 2024 8:36 PM

You’ve seen him: VeryVintageBeefcake

by Anonymousreply 45February 10, 2024 8:38 PM

Okay, big deal. You encountered a overly mouthy oldster waiting tables It was an hour or so out of the rest of your life. Get over it, because you're likely to encounter plenty more people who play on your last nerve unless you want to live off the grid.

by Anonymousreply 46February 10, 2024 8:55 PM

Never be rude to people who are handling your food.

by Anonymousreply 47February 10, 2024 9:26 PM

Marin?… Housekeeper?…

OK. Weird flex, bro.

by Anonymousreply 48February 10, 2024 10:50 PM

[quote] Today we went to a waterside place

Was it a nautical buffet with riparian entertainment? Otherwise it sounds like a rather down market establishment. Sheridan would be aghast if Richard and I even considered dining at such a lowbrow boite.

by Anonymousreply 49February 11, 2024 12:51 AM

Has this OP been diagnosed?

Because it needs treatment.

by Anonymousreply 50February 11, 2024 12:53 AM

[quote] For reasons I won't go into, my husband and I go out to lunch every Thursday.

Sounds like something a marriage counselor would suggest during couples therapy.

by Anonymousreply 51February 11, 2024 8:27 PM

‘Rotund little fellows in their 60’s” is my sweet spot. Where can I find this guy?

by Anonymousreply 52February 11, 2024 10:29 PM

OP, at the second question you should have HISSED at him.

by Anonymousreply 53February 11, 2024 10:45 PM

R42 No we were in Sausalito, but in Tiburon we like Sam's for the view and Salt and Pepper for the food.

by Anonymousreply 54February 12, 2024 12:14 AM
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