I've the sparks-showering Film Noir belt known as "The L".
Let's be the City of Chicago!
by Anonymous | reply 113 | February 17, 2024 3:20 PM |
I'm the hordes of Instagram influencers collected around the Anish Kapoor "Cloud Gate" sculpture.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | February 9, 2024 12:13 AM |
I'm Leslie-Ann Warren, singing the city's praises while slapping my ass.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | February 9, 2024 12:17 AM |
I'm the two liquid tons of green food coloring poured into the river every St. Patrick's Day.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | February 9, 2024 12:19 AM |
I'm the two liquid tons of suburban teenage vomit poured into the sidewalks every St. Patrick's Day.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | February 9, 2024 12:19 AM |
It's El train shortened from "elevated train.
I'm the insufferable doys town guys.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | February 9, 2024 12:25 AM |
I’m the Shamrock Shuffle. As I do every year, I will put 30,000 participants on the downtown streets on March 24, 2024. I can only hope for the locals’ sake that Uber, Lyft, the CTA, and O’Hare can get them back out of here promptly. I don’t even want to think about what will happen in the hot dog and pizza places near me!
by Anonymous | reply 6 | February 9, 2024 12:52 AM |
I'm the astonishing murder rate.
Then and now.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | February 9, 2024 1:18 AM |
I'm all of the toddling.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | February 9, 2024 1:20 AM |
I’m the armed juvenile carjacking thugZ who run rampant on Chicago streets because I know I won’t face any consequences for my actions.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | February 9, 2024 1:26 AM |
I'm Holabird & Roche.
Although my exquisitely attenuated steel-cage architectural designs set the tone for modern architecture internationally, Burnham & Root and Adler & Sullivan get all the credit.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | February 9, 2024 1:39 AM |
I'm Mrs. O'Leary's cow.
Although I get blamed for starting the Great Fire of 1971 by kicking over a lantern, it was most likely a man stealing my milk who left his tallow candle behind who was the culprit.
I was also the first of 250-340 victims of the fire.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | February 9, 2024 1:42 AM |
I'm the Picasso. I'm either an abstracted portrait of his most lusted-after female model or a stylized sculpture of his beloved afghan hound.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | February 9, 2024 1:44 AM |
I’m State Street, that great street.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | February 9, 2024 1:44 AM |
I'm...Cicero.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | February 9, 2024 1:47 AM |
I’m the dried blood on the sidewalk.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | February 9, 2024 1:49 AM |
I am The Weiner’s Circle, the single most foul-mouthed in-your-face hot dog place ever to be found on this earth.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | February 9, 2024 1:55 AM |
I am the museum scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I am the first time anyone actually films the interior and collections of the Art Institute of Chicago.
And I represent the first school trip of the young children - and the last school trip of the three main characters.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | February 9, 2024 2:01 AM |
I’m Naperville, 30 miles away but I tell everyone I’m still a part of you.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | February 9, 2024 2:05 AM |
I'm the crime.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | February 9, 2024 2:10 AM |
I’m Lower Wacker Drive. Every movie or TV show must include a scene using me.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | February 9, 2024 2:22 AM |
I had the sexiest mayor in history. You know I mean
by Anonymous | reply 22 | February 9, 2024 2:25 AM |
I'm Frank Lloyd Wright, lurking in the suburbs.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | February 9, 2024 2:34 AM |
Grandpa!
by Anonymous | reply 25 | February 9, 2024 2:39 AM |
Can I be The Devil in the White City?
by Anonymous | reply 26 | February 9, 2024 2:54 AM |
I’m John Hughes filming around the North Shore.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | February 9, 2024 3:25 AM |
I'm da sport peppahs on ya hot dog.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | February 9, 2024 3:26 AM |
I'm the night Chicago died. When a man named Al Capone tried to make that town his own. And he called his gang to war with the forces of the law. You should have heard my mama cry.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | February 9, 2024 3:31 AM |
I’m the best Chicago pizza and it’s like no one really knows where I am. Everybody talks about me, lots of people put me down, compare me to New York. I’m in the neighborhood, or used to be, is what some of them say. Others might mention their Uncle Sal or that place that closed.
I’m the Keyser Soze of culinary marvels. Jon Stewart called me a casserole!
by Anonymous | reply 30 | February 9, 2024 3:44 AM |
I'm Lori Lightfoot's forehead.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | February 9, 2024 3:52 AM |
I'm the Second City — ostensibly a theater but really an expensive class-taking machine for SNL hopefuls.
The chances of getting on my stage are roughly the same as those of a pickup basketball kid who ends up playing for the Lakers.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | February 9, 2024 3:59 AM |
r3, I always wonder how that is environmentally-friendly. They claim it is fine for the fish.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | February 9, 2024 4:01 AM |
I’m that Free and easy town, brassy, breezy town. No, wait, I’m a town so smart it's spelling starts with C- H - I - C... Chic!….
by Anonymous | reply 34 | February 9, 2024 4:07 AM |
I'm the formerly glamorous Marshall Field taking up a whole square block of downtown.
Now I'm a Macy's that feels like a JC Penney's, and tumbleweeds roll my empty marble corridors.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | February 9, 2024 4:20 AM |
I'm everyone's favorite summertime game: "Fireworks or Gunshots?"
by Anonymous | reply 36 | February 9, 2024 4:21 AM |
I'm the Tiffany mosaics at Marshall Fields (now Macy's).
Please be impressed by me.
Please.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | February 9, 2024 4:22 AM |
I'm a box of Frango Mints.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | February 9, 2024 4:22 AM |
I’m Lake Michigan. Chicago is the pimple on my backside.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | February 9, 2024 4:27 AM |
I’m the city’s sportsball team, the White Cub Hawk Bulls.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | February 9, 2024 4:30 AM |
I'm Steamworks, and the most bitter cunts in the universe work my front desk. They make even the most sour DLer seem like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | February 9, 2024 4:39 AM |
I'm Garfield conservatory. I'm stunning and free to enter.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | February 9, 2024 4:46 AM |
Moo
by Anonymous | reply 44 | February 9, 2024 4:48 AM |
Boston is London, N'Orleans is France!
New York is anyone's for ten cents a dance!
But that great big town on that great lake
Is America's first, and America's great
Chicago!
by Anonymous | reply 45 | February 9, 2024 4:54 AM |
I’m the guy who tells, “Where?”, energizing Judy’s performance of Chicago, closing her Carnegie Hall show.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | February 9, 2024 5:03 AM |
I’m the word Ted Baxter mispronounced on the pilot episode of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | February 9, 2024 5:05 AM |
I’m the flatness of the land.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | February 9, 2024 5:07 AM |
I’m in WAAAAAY over my head.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | February 9, 2024 5:08 AM |
In Albany Park, can you get Korean Food, get shot and see pigeons.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | February 9, 2024 5:48 AM |
I’m Section 8. My vouchers destroyed the middle class black neighborhood on the South Side by populating the with former project residents.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | February 9, 2024 5:55 AM |
Meanwhile those people moved to Dalton, where the mayor thinks she’s Queen of the Southland.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | February 9, 2024 5:57 AM |
Following on r28, I'm da jardineer.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | February 9, 2024 6:27 AM |
I’m the gorillas in the Lincoln Park zoo. I’m adorable.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | February 9, 2024 6:36 AM |
I'm the lie that Chicago is where it because of the river. They wanted to put it where the Calumet River hits the lake, but Indiana refused to pay any money for the canal, because they were betting on the Maumee-Wabash canal at Fort Wayne, so Illinois moved their canal up to the Chicago river to deprive Indiana of development. It worked. NW Indiana didn't urbanize until 1900 by which time Chicago had engrossed 90% of the trade.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | February 9, 2024 7:08 AM |
I’m the giant chip on my shoulder about NYC.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | February 9, 2024 7:25 AM |
I'm all the jeering at Toronto.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | February 9, 2024 10:35 AM |
I’m the hundreds of napkins tossed in the air at Sidetrack on show tune Sundays as Don’t Cry For Me Argentina crescendos.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | February 9, 2024 10:46 AM |
It’s a vegetable dye, R33, and it’s gorgeous.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | February 9, 2024 2:57 PM |
Canal? What canal?
by Anonymous | reply 60 | February 9, 2024 3:12 PM |
I'm Beth Jarret doing some much-needed retail therapy downtown after learning that Conrad's therapist is a Jew.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | February 9, 2024 3:18 PM |
It's been a number of years R58, but doesn't that bit happen during Sail On (Titanic)?
by Anonymous | reply 62 | February 9, 2024 3:39 PM |
R11 Actually, the current conventional wisdom is that sparks from a meteor shower and/or storm may have started the fire in Chicago as well as a large fire in WI on the same evening.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | February 9, 2024 3:41 PM |
I'm Mashall Field's, and the numerous prisspots who stood up for its name!
by Anonymous | reply 64 | February 9, 2024 3:43 PM |
They are fighting for a Macy’s to pretend it’s still Marshall Field’s
by Anonymous | reply 65 | February 9, 2024 3:47 PM |
^that’s a question.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | February 9, 2024 3:47 PM |
Yup, meanwhile department stores are all but dead no matter the name....
by Anonymous | reply 67 | February 9, 2024 3:52 PM |
We met at the Pump Room, Ambassador East, to say the least
On shish-kabob and breast of squab we will feast and get fleeced
Don't tell me sin is rampant and rife
Think of that man who ran for his life
Chicago, your home town.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | February 9, 2024 3:59 PM |
I'm Steve Dahl at disco demolition night July 12 1979, Comisky Park!
by Anonymous | reply 69 | February 9, 2024 4:24 PM |
Let’s not.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | February 9, 2024 4:26 PM |
I just looked up the canal. It’s a glorified sewer! How appropriate.
by Anonymous | reply 71 | February 9, 2024 5:11 PM |
R62- it happens during both numbers. Clean up is a bitch.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | February 9, 2024 10:32 PM |
I’m the plague researcher and his Brit bus driver hookup doing a thrill kill.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | February 9, 2024 11:14 PM |
I'm Martin Amis, cunting about Chicago like a cunt.
Cunt cunt cunt, I say, cocking my snook at all this ghastly Modernism.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | February 9, 2024 11:30 PM |
I'm the Metro, which hosted so many great bands since 1982. After you dance your ass off until daybreak, then I'm Ann Sather's, where you can get your Swedish pancakes to fill your soul.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | February 10, 2024 12:06 AM |
I'm Louis Sullivan.
Frank, you bootleg house-building bitch, you broke my heart.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | February 10, 2024 12:09 AM |
Thanks for the interesting history lesson, R55.
In my younger days I used to call Chicago a big, cheap, Midwestern imitation of New York.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | February 10, 2024 12:27 AM |
"I’m the giant chip on my shoulder about NYC."
I'm the person who lived there for 20 years and never once saw any evidence of this.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | February 10, 2024 1:50 AM |
I would love to be a Chicago speakeasy but I think I missed my time.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | February 10, 2024 1:53 AM |
I’m Garrett’s Chicago Mix popcorn. I am ridiculously addictive.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | February 10, 2024 2:02 AM |
I'm the Wrigleyville Cumdump!
However, I have been eclipsed in popularity by another hole.....
by Anonymous | reply 81 | February 10, 2024 2:07 AM |
I am the sheer number of fuckable men in Chicago.
The nearby farming states send all of their beef to me!
by Anonymous | reply 83 | February 10, 2024 2:09 AM |
I'm Alexi Giannoulias, the IL Secretary of State.
I'm delicious.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | February 10, 2024 2:26 AM |
I'm the sense of inferiority because I'm not New York City.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | February 10, 2024 3:25 AM |
R87, Toronto!
So nice of you to stop by.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | February 10, 2024 3:27 AM |
[quote] I'm the person who lived there for 20 years and never once saw any evidence of this.
Yes. They love to be called Second City. Especially when they’re third or fourth.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | February 10, 2024 3:30 AM |
I'm human meat fart and ultraMAGA Mike Ditka, still worshiped by a great deal of straight Chicago men.
I'm hideous inside and out. And my wife looks like a dyke.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | February 10, 2024 3:34 AM |
I'm Narcissa Niblick (Mrs. James Ward) Thone's exquisite collection of miniature rooms.
I was created under Miss Niblick (Mrs Ward Thorne)'s exacting specifications by no less than 80 architects and artisans over a thirty-year period.
I have my own wing at the Art Institute of Chicago.
I am worth a trip.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | February 10, 2024 3:46 AM |
I am the Diversey Rocks, where many a load has been splattered over the years....
by Anonymous | reply 92 | February 10, 2024 4:45 AM |
I'm the Trump Hotel and Tower, now a favorite tourist selfie spot to give the middle finger.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | February 10, 2024 4:50 AM |
I'm ugly brown Chicago common brick, which is a shame because the natural yellow limestone there is actually quite attractive.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | February 10, 2024 4:57 AM |
I’m the glorious lack of any lesbian community.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | February 11, 2024 1:51 PM |
Really? The mayor was a lesbian.
Chicago has the best infrastructure of any city in the nation, mainly because the people who built it in the 1850s were exceptionally smart, something not found anywhere else in American city building.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | February 11, 2024 6:34 PM |
R97, they were so smart in the 1850s that it burned to the fucking ground in 1871.
by Anonymous | reply 98 | February 11, 2024 6:46 PM |
All cities burned in olden times.
Today's Chicagoans seem like midgets in shoes that are too big for them.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | February 11, 2024 6:48 PM |
I am Nookie's, known for terrible food and hot waiters.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | February 11, 2024 6:51 PM |
I’m the unasked-for banana next to your eggs at the Melrose.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | February 11, 2024 6:52 PM |
I'm the downstairs at Unabridged, ostensibly filled with travel books......I'm as cruisy as the cock, I mean the day is long.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | February 11, 2024 6:54 PM |
I’m Lori Lightfoot’s men’s pinstriped suit
by Anonymous | reply 103 | February 11, 2024 7:37 PM |
I’m a full floor of THE best building in Chicago.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | February 11, 2024 7:55 PM |
I’m Lori Lightfoot’s too long pants!
by Anonymous | reply 105 | February 11, 2024 10:07 PM |
I'm the hot hairy jogger running shirtless in winter.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | February 17, 2024 4:18 AM |
I'm the glorious ribs, burgers and onion rings at the Twin Anchors tavern in Old Town.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | February 17, 2024 4:23 AM |
I'm the Bijou Theater. I'm covered in layers upon layers of nacreous permacum.
by Anonymous | reply 108 | February 17, 2024 4:55 AM |
R101 The Melrose closed in 2017.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | February 17, 2024 5:03 AM |
I’m ketchup on a hotdog.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | February 17, 2024 1:14 PM |
Isn’t steppenwolf in Chicago? Why haven’t you bitches mentioned me?
by Anonymous | reply 111 | February 17, 2024 1:32 PM |
R111 Because it's generally relentlessly hetero at The 'Wolf.
I'd sooner mention Hell in a Handbag, the great parody/comedy troupe that does funny, gay themed stuff like Christmas Dearest (yes, A Christmas Story mashed with Mommie Dearest).
by Anonymous | reply 112 | February 17, 2024 3:02 PM |
I'm the front seat of the Chicago cop cruiser.
The sacred spot where a hot Polish daddy cop fucked my face years ago.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | February 17, 2024 3:20 PM |