Are you a recluse?

Since the pandemic, I’m much happier being home. I have my dogs, books, multiple streaming services, podcasts, pool, art supplies etc. I don’t feel the need to go out much anymore.

This is exactly where I am, R1. I'm not afraid of people and still want to travel a bit to see the world. Nevertheless, I prefer my and my best pal of a husband's company, my own curated space, and the decreased stress that comes with it. I'm also starting to find posting on the socials really abhorrent and have made all of my accounts private.

I prefer the term Shut-In.

Shut-in, to me, makes it seem like it's not by choice.

Shut-out

I'm a reclusive introvert... I actually don't like going out much and when I do go out, I can't wait to get back home... I was like this even when I was a kid

I'm the same R6.

I live in a city with millions of people and I rarely interact with any of them. I can go days without speaking. I spend most of my time walking alone. When I was younger I was gregarious and outgoing. Now, in my 60s, I understand Greta Garbo’s lifestyle after she retired.

I like my own company. And I read a lot.

"All alone! Oh, you like your own company, don't you?"

--Kathleen Robertson being bitchy to Lauren Ambrose in "Psycho Beach Party"

I'm an introvert, but have to play an extrovert at work. So my "home time" is very important to me. I want to go out less and less.

That said, I've noticed a number of people in my life who simply never reentered the human race after Covid. They stay home and act like the pandemic is still happening. It's like they adopted this behavior during Covid Times and simply haven't readjusted. I have a couple of friends who I'm convinced literally use it as an excuse not to leave the house. This is when it starts to get a little bit unhealthy, I fear.

A gay man's castle is his MONASTERY.

I am a vagante monk in the Gay church.

Get off my rocks.

R6 & R7 - Are you Cancers?

I'm an introvert but my partner is extrovert-tending. I think - and he thinks - that he's moving to the dark side with me, but in the meantime I try to accommodate his need for outside entertainment and people.

I am quite happy with my own company and his. We've been together 30 years and still have plenty to talk about and share. My interests run to the solitary - books, music, TV and Movies - so it is easy to ignore the outside world.

Politics depresses and enrages me. I've become a cynic and a misanthrope. I find that most people - not all - are only interested in what you can do for them or give them, otherwise you are a non-entity.

Therapy has helped me distinguish between it all being my problem - which depended on misplaced guilt and was the default way of thinking of myself - and the fact that many people nowadays - with reason or without - are not worth my time and effort.

I live amongst a group of people - entertainers with and without talent - that are transactional to a fault. I'm planning on moving and maybe I'll find some people worth investing in.

So, yeah, I'm a recluse.

Lots of telework and being with my husband who runs his business out of the house.

I've always been a loner, not "shy," or any of that horseshit, I prefer my own company. Now retired, I absolutely love being alone and not having to worry about getting to work during a snow storm or torrential rain. I talk to others on the phone occasionally, have dinner/lunch with a few sometimes, but usually I'm alone. Never bored, never lonesome. Needless to say, the pandemic isolation was easy.

I'm not an introvert, just don't like people much.

I've developed a lot of anxiety in the past few years. I get nervous at the thought of leaving the house. Bad things happen "out there." But once I actually get out, I'm fine.

Just out of curiosity where do you reside? Do you live in an apartment in a big city? A home in a more rural area?

I live in an apartment in a city area of a NYC suburb, R18. Train to the city is down the street. I have a car but don't need one.

"Train to the city is down the street." That train goes to New York City.

Husband and I relocated to a suburb of a 1.5 million population southern metropolitan area. We have plenty of space and love it. We see people in the neighborhood from time to time and we go to a neighborhood pub a lot. But always home by 8-9pm at the latest. Both of us can't wait to rush home to our dog, fireplace, huge TV and sweat clothes. I'm 58 years old and he is 44. I have no complaints and have no urge to got out as much as I did in my 30's and 40s. I remember going to multiple parties, gatherings, functions, bars in one night all the time. Hell no now! One place and then HOME!

No pregaming. No after parties. No late nights.

I'm a mix between recluse and enjoying going to dinners with my friends from time to time. Most of the time, I stay home but I venture out in the evenings to go on a 6 mile bike ride which helps me feel like I'm "out and about." When the pandemic happened, I was fine with staying home alone because I'm a techie and have a VR headset. I feel like VR is an amazing tool which helps me "see" the world without leaving my place. I can go into virtual worlds and hang out with my friends in other states who also have VR headsets or I can simply mute people I meet if I don't want to talk to anyone. I can go on a VR roller coaster without the fear of flying out of the car (a real fear I've struggled with) and I can fly through space or just go into a meditation app and relax.

I had a play I went to back in Dec and my friends wanted to go out after. I really didn't want to go out after, but I went because I had carpooled with one of those friends. I was bored out of my skull because they were all talking shop (acting) and I'm not an actor, nor do I drink much so it was hell. I didn't get home until 2am and was really annoyed.

Younger me would have not minded but old me just wanted to leave reality and go home to my Virtual Reality. Maybe that's a problem, but reality sucks.

It's my birthday and plans fell through for lunch with a friend. I took myself out anyway and am sitting here enjoying a nice lunch. And I'm happy to be alone, as loser-ish as that may sound to a lot of people. At the table next to me are four women in their 60s who are being subjected to the non-stop yack of one of them. I can tell at least a couple of them are feeling highjacked/trapped by this asshole who will not shut up. I'm so glad I'm flying solo. It would have been good to see my friend, but he was supposedly exposed to COVID, so . . .

Happy Birthday, r24!

Happy Birthday fellow Aquarian at r24 🥂🍾

No.

Social isolation exacerbates many psychological problems, e.g., depression and anxiety. The surest and quickest way to insanity is solitary confinement.

Yes. Now get off my lawn!

I am 54, and I have always truly enjoyed being alone. Even as a child, I would say this and would want to be on my own.

I’ve had relationships and have lived with partners and then had been housemates with my late mom for 15 years when I cared for her, but I am now living alone.

I’d do anything to get my late mom back (and living with me —she too was a loner type). My mom is the only person I would live with again. I’m not interested in partnering up and sharing a living space. I am perfectly able to socialize and have a few close friends and extended family. But I just love living alone with my dog and cat. And books, music, piano, home projects…hell is other people.

Grew up an only child. Always happy being alone (never lonely) Recently called two 20+year friends who I see occasionally. All they did was complain about their lives. Won't call again. Dealing with fewer people makes my life a pleasure.

I’m a lonely introvert. I don’t know how to solve my life. At my age, there isn’t much of it left anyway. I walk and work out and go for long drives.

I miss my one deep friend who died. He was so important to me. He was the oddest duck in the pond and I loved him for it because underneath all that he was so kind. I miss him terribly.

I have to be. I’m the smartest person I know.

I agree that Covid changed a lot of us. I was never an extrovert but not an introvert either; I landed somewhere in-between. But Covid taught me I could be alone for long periods of time and truly enjoy it. Now I seldom if ever go out at night. I might meet someone for lunch now and then but for the most part, I really like being totally and completely in charge of my life as a recluse. I can't imagine having it any other way now.

I quit smoking and miss the bizarre interactions with strangers.

I thought nothing of walking two blocks at 3am when my addiction monkey called. Not w, I can walk a vape, but it isn’t the same.

I miss smoking buddies - no transactions unless someone was Calling for my short.

I am a 54 year old recluse. Up until my early thirties I was very much an extrovert and always busy and surrounded by people.

Now I have a few close friends with whom I communicate most days. I’m “on” at work, that’s pretty much it. I absolutely love being alone and have realized that I would never want to live with someone again (I don’t anyone would enjoy living me either).

It isn't that they haven't readjusted post Covid R11, it's that they discovered they are happier this way.

Yes. I don’t relate to most of the denizens of Flyoverstan and the feeling is mutual. We take our safety and cheap rent, accepting the trade offs of having to be visually assaulted by excess body fat, ugly tattoos, and outdated hairstyles.

R37 a mental health therapist would have a field day with you

R29 You know yourself and that is amazing. I do too. I don't need a lot of people to be happy. I think I learned that by chasing my now "evolving" career from coast to coast and in between for 25 years. 6 cities. Moved to over 10 different aparments/condos/houses. I've shut my door to a lot at 58 years old. First and foremost, people that steal my energy or that always introduce negativity to my life. Nah. They can fuck off.

R38 they would

There's a big difference between needing Me-time versus shutting yourself off from the outside world with no support system. Every medical study shows that being alone and isolated is one of the worst things for your physical and mental health. It ranks up there with smoking and drinking. It shortens your lifespan considerably. It causes depression and people just give up on life.

No.

Why do you ask?

Pretty much. I am a good cook. I used to host small dinner parties to be a bit more social. Trouble came when my BF was an extrovert who was a better cook than I. He took over those duties and I got out of the habit. After we broke up, he got custody of a lot of our friends.

If you have a husband or partner you're not part of the hermit/recluse club.

Solitude is a gift. Isolation is a punishment.

R27 Thank God for people like you. Lots of people, very healthy minded people want to get out and be a part of things in the world around us. It's a great thing. I used to love it too. Now I don't. But from my heart I am glad that you do. It can be good energy, positive, supportive and hopeful.

Privacy is the cheapest luxury a gay person can have.

[quote] Every medical study shows that being alone and isolated is one of the worst things for your physical and mental health. It ranks up there with smoking and drinking. It shortens your lifespan considerably. It causes depression and people just give up on life.

This is what I've always believed until after Covid. I realized that I had spent a lot of time alone and was more than OK with that.

Before, I used to try to socialize and reach out, etc. Now, no.

As I've aged how I love to stay in my little pink and gold bubble by the sea.

Hell is other people.

I don't need to interact with human beings I have THE DATALOUNGE!

I’m sorry R31. I can’t say anything else, but you sound like a very nice person.

Yes, but only because I have to protect my 547 jars of urine from falling into the wrong hands.

They are stealing our bodily fluids!

R41 what if everyone you’ve loved is dead? Close family and partner. What if every one else in your family is dumb as dirt and/or nut job evangelical Christian loving Trump? You have to step away. And go to Datalounge.

R55, we are supposed to torture others with volunteerism and civic participation.

The pandemic hit a few months after I retired, so being alone most of the time was not something I had chosen. But I lived alone for many years, and came to enjoy solitude. I was in my mid-40s when I met my partner. When we decided to live together, I was worried that, after living alone for so long, it would be a challenge for me. But I loved him deeply, so it was the easiest thing in the world. Now I'm alone again, and I've learned to be happy again leading a solitary life. I do have friends and I do go out occasionally, but it's not something I seek out. But I would give up my solitude in a minute if my late partner could magically return to me.

Yes, this was the main purpose of the covid lab leak. To make us all recluses and I love it. Soon we will all be obese and only watch netflix (our fingers will be too fat to press the buttons on a game controller).

Interesting that the mental health "advocates" seem to be the ones with the most finger-waggy, judgmental tone in this thread.

. . .

Extroverts consider introverts to be mentally defective and socially subversive. Extroverts want everyone to be live as they do and if you don’t they’ll malign you.

[copy]this was the main purpose of the covid lab leak

I love how the AI Bots are going back to discredited QAnon talking points on the fly.

Were those leaked viruses transmitted through trafficked sex slaves through Hillary Pizza parlors?

Funny to see that the AI Bots need tinfoil hats. 😂😂😂

R62 scary. Do you think it is her?

R57 Exactly. Blessings.

Ah the mass hysteria of QAnon. Are those whackjobs still at it?

Now more than ever!

[quote]Every medical study shows that being alone and isolated is one of the worst things for your physical and mental health. It ranks up there with smoking and drinking. It shortens your lifespan considerably.

Yet another plus!

And yes, I am a Cancer.

I already answered up thread, but I have a feeling my introversion will go into overdrive after this election.

Won't do much for a depressive, either.

Happy days.

NO!

the pandemic was a misery for me. i'm out and about every day

Yes, introverted, homebody, reclusive Cancerian.

NO I'M NOT A SPIDER!