Hot Robber!

He gave someone the shirt off his back! Have mercy.

Lucky Chen Chen!

Hot body

I'm prepared to post bond. All I'm asking for in return is a little bit of "appreciation".

All that OnlyFans money just sitting there waiting for Joshua to take it.

Handcuffs, Hot and ZERO tattoos? I feel like I'm looking at a unicorn!! I don't know if I'll ever see this again in my lifetime.

He's smart enough to not have any (visible) fugly tattoos!

Hot as hell!

Would take his loads and hand over my wallet!

Omg, he actually asked the chinese guy "Can I stay here for a while?"

I would have said, YOU CAN STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU WANT!

What are the odds of some hot young guy with a banging body, walking into your home, and asking if he can stay with you?

1,000,000 to 1.

How on earth does Chen Chen make it through university with such lousy English?

He has a crucifix on his wall, so probably not amenable to kanoodling with the robber.

I would enjoy a Chen-chen and Seymour fuck video.

I would be in danger of being arrested for aiding and abetting.

Chen Chen was petrified.

The comments at the bottom of the YouTube video are overwhelmingly in favor of the "Bad Guy" robber.

If he came into my apartment I would be harboring a fugitive. And by harboring I mean lots of oral stuff.

Where was this?

Corpus Christi, Texas R17.

[quote]Handcuffs, Hot and ZERO tattoos? I feel like I'm looking at a unicorn!! I don't know if I'll ever see this again in my lifetime.

I think tattoos will become passé once this generation ages.

Saggy, distorted tattoos will be associated with old people

I couldn't find any mugshots for him in Texas.

Innocent until proven guilty!

On September 3, 2010, two J.C. Penny’s loss-prevention officers, Michael Sauceda and Herman Cardenas, observed appellant stealing merchandise and a pair of scissors from the store. Sauceda and Cardenas observed appellant by camera. Appellant did not know he was being watched.

Sauceda pursued appellant as he left the store and went outside with the stolen property. Sauceda and a co-worker identified themselves as security. Appellant told them that he was not going to return to the store. Sauceda told him that they would handcuff him, if necessary, to return him to the store. Sauceda took his arm, but appellant resisted and was pushed up against the wall or door.

Appellant withdrew the scissors from his pocket with his right hand and swung his arms up,bringing the scissors within six inches from Sauceda’s neck. Appellant then tried to run away, but was tackled on the sidewalk.Cardenas handcuffed appellant and picked up the merchandise and scissors that fell to the ground, except for a stolen watch that appellant was wearing.

Appellant, now in handcuffs, continued to resist and tried to kick the officers as they walked through the store’s salon. As appellant was escorted inside, he also tried to kick customers in the salon and attempted to run the officers into merchandise displays. During the escort through the store, appellant bit Leonard Sanchez, a mall security guard.

When they arrived at the loss-prevention office, appellant refused to sit down, and threw everything off of the desk. When Sauceda tried to get appellant to sit down, appellant bit Sauceda in the arm and grabbed Sauceda’s genitals. At trial, appellant testified in his own defense. While appellant admitted he attempted to steal merchandise, he denied ever threatening Sauceda with the scissors. Instead, he testified he kept the scissors in his pocket.

Appellant testified that he bit Sauceda when they were in the loss-prevention office after Sauceda put his knee in appellant’s neck and held it there until appellant could not breathe. Appellant testified at this point, he bit “very suddenly” so that Sauceda “would let up, that’s all.” Appellant testified that he did not remember biting Sanchez.

It’s probably long n skinny.

R23 what is?

^his index finger, Rose

R24 - His middle finger, Rose.

[R22]

I feel the previous police “reports” should be dismissed as gossip.

None of us where there!

[quote] When they arrived at the loss-prevention office, appellant refused to sit down, and threw everything off of the desk.

[quote] When Sauceda tried to get appellant to sit down, appellant bit Sauceda in the arm and grabbed Sauceda’s genitals.

When in doubt, grab the arresting officer's genitals!

Wait, did the robber grab a guy's cock?

[quote]Handcuffs, Hot and ZERO tattoos? I feel like I'm looking at a unicorn!! I don't know if I'll ever see this again in my lifetime.

Rarer still: Is this [bold]the only instance in history American history of cops putting a handcuffed suspect into the back of a police car without placing even one hand on his head or his body? Not one?[/bold]

Talk about missed opportunity...

He gives off a Gay4Pay vibe.

Not Guilty!

What, no "Mama's mussy" comments? You bitches are slipping.

R34 did you miss the comment at OP and allusion at R27?

Maybe you're the one who's slipping? Slipping into the Hot Robber's undies!

Hair so beautiful, like he just stepped out of a hair salon.

Instant DL Icon alert.

"You have the right to remain silent, and I have the right to lick your shitter right here and right now."

"Chin Chin missed his chance chance to have a hot husband for the rest of his life"

Chen Chen's got to clean up that apartment ... what a dump!

This video was posted seven-and-a-half years ago.

How did Joshua Seymour elude our grasp all this time?

He definitely knows how to rock the dirty hair look. They need to bring him to me, so that I may know him. And fatten him up a bit.

Yeah, he needs a sandwich or two

The line to rim him slow, deep and nonstop forms on the right.

R22 wow he's a pretty rough character. Not to be messed with when cornered.

I can smell the affluenza and daddy's lawyer from here. I'm sure he's "gotten off" easy many times and grandma's trust fund probably has a no tattoo clause.

"He made a mistake and he was being chased by Mexicans"

An actual angel of the Lord, caught while doing His work on Earth. Get your unworthy paws off him and let him be, he has dead unbaptised kiddies to escort to Purgatory.

He's the bad boy chicks want to fuck. Wonder how he looks now 14-15 years after that crime report above.

This story has all the makings of a movie.

A hot, shirtless bad boy with a ripped body and model looks.

A chinese exchange student with a cross on the wall.

A filthy apartment, littered with garbage and soy sauce.

Mall security guards escorting him through a JC Penney's beauty salon, while he kicks the old ladies as he's being led to the holding room.

Biting and crotch grabbing.

A JC Penneys!

I smell an Emmy. Maybe even an Oscar nom!

Please don't book Austin Butler for the role.

I bet he's cut too!

He looks a bit like Ryan Gosling.

For once Momma's mussy got it right.

Gosh, he is just so beautiful. Chris Watts who?

[quote]Appellant testified that he did not remember biting Sanchez.

Does he remember grabbing his genitals?

WHET this beauty???

Oh my..

Mama’s mussy is squealing like a vacuum cleaner belt!

What colour are his intimate hairs likely to be DL experts?

Lowkey envious of all those unworthy fraus who got to sample his meat and shitter in his prime. It's those ugly hoes who should get locked up, not him! But of course, leave it to the incompetent police to get it wrong once more.

Seven years ago. Plenty of time to get some face tattoos and meth mouth.

Court case

R28 He's so obviously innocent. The persecution of white men continues.

How's Chin Chin doing. Does he have PTSD from his blistering encounter with authentic sizzling American cage meat dripped in testosterone? Did he go back to China and bad mouth the USA? Take a spiritual Christian retreat to reprogram?

[quote] Wait, did the robber grab a guy's cock?

Nothing new. Lady Lindzebelle does that while shop lifting menswear..

Let’s cast the Logo Original Movie based on this story.

Title: “Too Cute to Pay: The Joshua Seymour Story.”

Starring: Ryan Gosling as Joshua, Bowen Yang as Chin, Zachary Quinto as Prosecutor Felch, Patrick Wilson as the JC Penney manager, and Kate McKinnon as Judge Marlene Wapp. With a special appearance by Diana Muldaur as Warden Harder.

Al Franken told us that Miss Lindzebelle lifts risqué imported porcelain for her drawing room.

[quote] Wait, did the robber grab a guy's cock?

Apparently.

He did it right after biting the security guard.

[quote] When Sauceda tried to get appellant to sit down, appellant bit Sauceda in the arm and grabbed Sauceda’s genitals.

I believe in prison, they call it the "Bite and Grab," which is used to get out of compromising situations in the shower room.

YOUNGER actors, please.

[quote]The persecution of white men continues.

Aww, poor baby. We will be praying for all of you.

Bieber in body camouflage makeup would be about right.

The casual hair flip at the beginning of the video is almost parody-level insane.

Could Miles Heizer work up the butch? Probably has the right body.

I think he’s turned over a new leaf. His LinkedIn page show that he’s a night stocker at a place called HEB and, per his pic, likely has a baby daughter.

Grocery store night stocker isn't much advancement for a decade of time. He's still gorgeous though.

The arresting cop is super cute

I'd love to know his history.

What drove this hottie to a life of crime?

Did he grow up in a trailer park?

Were his parents drug addicts, and he was left to fend for himself?

Or was he just born bad? He does seem to have a mischievious glint in his eye, and a bit of a sarcastic tongue, which kind of hints at him being born this way.

"I didn't think I could get away for that long. They did a lot of work for me today."

"It was pretty easy running from them, though."

"I love you guys!" (while being handcuffed)

I giggled at the end of the video where he says "Don't be gentle, now. Shove me in there good." with a little smirk on his face.

He seems to be a bit of a smartass.

R73 HEB is an iconic Texas supermarket. Their customers swear by them, but I never saw the appeal.

They apparently hire felons, though. Good for them!

I would never die for my country, but I would consider dying for this Joshua beauty. He only need ask.

[quote] Grocery store night stocker isn't much advancement for a decade of time. He's still gorgeous though.

He got the job by accident.

When he applied for the job, he thought they were looking for a night STALKER, not a night STOCKER.

Are we sure that’s him in the LinkedIn?

It's a shocking and sickening miscarriage of justice. Pursued by blacks and latinos, betrayed by asians. Momma's mussy is leaking like a Jimmy Dean Sausage 'n Biscuit in the microwave.

Queers For Seymour

He's making Mama's mussy ooze like a Cadbury egg!

Here’s three photos from his Facebook. They’re dated 2023.

The Facebook is really sparse and kind of odd the few pics are so recent. Could be some kind of fake? But that’s definitely the guy in the LinkedIn.

[quote]Are we sure that’s him in the LinkedIn?

Can’t you tell?

FB pix are definitely him too. That slightly bird beek-ish mouth is a dead giveaway.

Verificatia of sizemeat?

He reminds me of the trade that would dance naked for roomfuls of gay men at the seedy bars and clubs I used to frequent.

Stunning lad. He makes momma's mussy vibrate at a frequency hitherto unknown to her.

His sentence should have been a mandatory modeling contract in Milan!

Flat butt.

He’s not that hot, but if he asked to hide out in my house, I suppose we could work something out.

R61 that’s one confusing rabbit hole

Okay, let me put it into terms you'll understand: there is but one bitch who'll get to lick the nacreous layer of permacum off his prison cell floor, and that would be me. Not you, ME.

BDF wasted one people without an easily grabbable crotch.

Final legal disposition withheld until additional information is obtained: the length and girth of the defendant's hard cock, the musk emanating from his furry hole.....

I want to clean Chen-Chen’s apartment.

Somehow, I think that Joshua would be mildly amused by this thread.

He seems to have a good sense of humor.

Of all the homes this incredbly sexy fugitive could have run into to hide, he picked Chen Chen's ? Why didn't he pick mine - he could've stayed as long as he wanted, so long as he kept his shirt off.

That apartment was FILTHY.

Joshua and Chen Chen’s love story is one for the ages!

I wonder how old he is now.

They should have arrested Chen Chen!

It’s clear in R5’s pic someone asked him to add 2+2.

He'd be making a ton of money if he was a gay male escort. He should've considered it back then.

He looks like Paul Walker Lite @ R85.

He’s so fucking hot!

Chen Chen was cute while his Chinese pals who came to his rescue were fug. Maybe Chen Chen turned to Jeebus to control his natural homosexuality.

Chen Chen and Joshua could start an Only Fans where subscribers could request a multiverse-like array of alternate endings to their fateful filthy apartment encounter.

He gave off a blond Jordan Catalano vibe in op’s video.

At one point, actor Joe Anderson could’ve played him in the tv movie.

I'd let him slam me in the pooper

Steven Yeun as Chen Chen

Bowen Yang as Chen Chen's roomate who got the text message!

He should always keep a nice thick mustache, if he can grow one. He has one of those bird beak upper lips that look much better with hair over them.

I must say however, the way that broad he beat repeatedly kept coming back for more proves that dick must be mighty fine.

[quote]Or was he just born bad? He does seem to have a mischievious glint in his eye, and a bit of a sarcastic tongue, which kind of hints at him being born this way.

I blame the loss of the penmanship medal to Claude Daigle.

Outstanding specimen. Let's just say I wouldn't immediately dismiss him if he told me scat play was the only way he gets off.

R109 You nailed it. I was thinking he looks like a young Jared Leto. Love his hair. He is the hottest thing to hit the DL in weeks. Three cheers for Mama's Mussy!

Chen Chen is the real criminal here. If I were him, I would have slipped on my silkiest shorty kimono and marabou kitten heels. Made a nice cocktail for us both very quietly and encouraged my unexpected visitor to let me wash his clothing while he showers. Then I would have given him a nice oil massage and gotten him good and hard and sucked several loads of his loads.

-My own mussy in a lather at this point.

R59 why would a frau do anything to his shitter? Wouldn't they be too prudish to even consider slipping a finger up there?

R67 thanks, that makes sense. I asked as I wrongly assumed it was something sexual.

Someone should send him a link to this thread if they found him online. He can swing by and say hi to his admirers. I'm first in line

R117 MARY!

I mean

MARABOU!

Have him stripped, showered, oiled down and brought to me!

Wow - if this guy showed up at my door looking like this, and asking to come in and 'hide out' for a while, I'd let him in with no questions asked. Then I'd kneel down in front of that crucifix, and thank Jesus for answering my prayers. Then I'd make him 'feel comfortable' and 'welcome'.

R118 yes they would. Women tend to stay away from things called “shitters”, if possible.

Release him into the custody of momma's mussy, it'll do him more good than any prison sentence ever could.

I'd lick his shitter.

I doubt that’s his niece in that LinkedIn pic. I figured he’d be the type to have a kid.

His face and build remind me of porn stud Julian Rios.

LOL!! God I love momma and her mussy!

[quote] Chen Chen was cute while his Chinese pals who came to his rescue were fug. Maybe Chen Chen turned to Jeebus to control his natural homosexuality.

No way!

On a scale of 1 to 10, Chen Chen is a 1 and Joshua is a 10.

Not even in the same league.

Nothing triggers homophobia in me more than bitches who be whistling after a guy I had already done called dibs on.

Back the fuck off, you thirsty hoes. And don't make me repeat myself either.

If Chen Chen is a 1, that makes his fat Chinese friend a -5? Tough judge, you!

[quote] This story has all the makings of a movie.

Or a MEN.com re-enactment.

You're right, R131.

This story isn't a made-for-television movie.

This is a PORN scenario.

"You're the queer who wants to sniff my stinking shorts!"

R132 I figured this had been a porn set-up at some point!

Flat butt.

There’s a Dr. Joshua Seymour that comes up on Google who’s also a volunteer firefighter in Aspen.

Could our little jailbird have turned his life around??

[quote] Flat butt.

Easier to get to his sweaty hole.

If you go down the seemingly endless rabbit hole of a police report for the 2010 domestic abuse case, it is revealed that cage meat and his baby mama put up a Craigslist ad looking for “consensual third” MALE for a threesome scenario and that the guy who showed up got as far as eating out the baby mama before cage meat and baby mama got into an argument allowing for the consensual third guy to leave the hotel. So, cage meat definitely is open to at least gay adjacent experimentation…

So beautiful, it hurts. I haven't been this inspired to start writing poetry again since the Chris Watts threads.

Some of you really need to raise your standards.

Great body. I'm getting Old Master vibes OP's first pic.

R129 He wants a hot piece of ass, not some ashy heifer.

Begone!

I will be in charge of the strip search

FULL CAVITY 🍆🍆🍆

A game hyperbole here. Bravo to all.

I find it hilarious that he's acting as if he's holding a press conference with the media.

The officers are trying desperately to lock him up, while the media is asking questions, and he's just casually standing there answering them.

REALLY?

Some of the youtube comments are very funny and gay. I wonder if a number of queens from THIS site have commented there recently

-OTHER PRISONERS WILL BE DROPPING THEIR SOAP ON PURPOSE TO SEE IF HE WILL PICK IT UP

-HE CAN HIDE AT MY APARTMENT ANY TIME

He's gonna go viral! In prison anyway.

:11 seconds his pants are down exposing his underwear and the shape of his HOT ass 😋

They should not have arrested this HOT guy those DUMPY officers should be arrested just for being so DUMPY.

Totally off-topic, but OP's headline has earwormed me with this, so I'm paying it forward. HOT LAVA! WHOOOOOOA HOT LAVA!!!!

R61 R138 That sounds like a different guy. That court case was in California and it says the guy had worked as a Registered Nurse at an Emergency Room in San Francisco. Within the court document, it mentions the felony charge preventing him to work as one, and he was trying to get his license re-instated. Internet search shows there's still a "Joshua Seymour' in San Francisco working as RN for contract agency Tryfacta.

[quote] I find it hilarious that he's acting as if he's holding a press conference with the media. The officers are trying desperately to lock him up, while the media is asking questions, and he's just casually standing there answering them.

He has a future as a Republican politician.

He looks like trash in those Facebook photos. I admit he was hot in the arrest video. He's fucking nuts, though. And not in a good way.

Mayor Petes NEXT husband is going to look a lot more like Joshua than Chasten.

[quote]Joshua and Chen Chen’s love story is one for the ages!

Didn't they almost have it all, the night they held on till the morning

JOSHUA SEYMOUR FOR FIRST LADY

Blond Ronnie Dobbs

He’s like the blonde love child of Chance Crawford and Toby McGuire.

Suddenly Seymour!

He’s probably wasn’t fresh or clean that day.

Which one of you bitches wrote this in the YT comments?

[quote] He’s cute, but I bet his butthole stinks.

COMMENT: “The only thing he’s guilty of is stealing our hearts!”

R160 This is why the first thing Chen Chen should have done is ask him if he like to calm down and relax with a nice hot shower or bath, saying not to worry about him calling anyone, as he'd remain in sight in the bathroom with him the whole time .. even scrub his back if he wanted.

How did all those fat out of shape cops manage to out run our Joshua?

[quote] He probably wasn’t fresh or clean that day.

I would have given him a bath if he walked into my apartment.

After that, the fun would begin!

I'm waiting for the one gross comment someone will always make about a hot guy here.....

That he's uncut, r166?

R167 Nope. (That's a feature and not a bug in my book)

Momma's mussy is splashing foam like a cappuccino held by Michael J. Fox.

[R167]

[R160]

Mamma’s muzzy, with hot dog crust?

His body is so old school lithe. Fit, lean, but not super cut, not extremely bulky.

[R148]

Mama's loins are sizzlin' more than Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ♨️

He's so hot and so trashy and so IDGAF. Best post in a while.

Momma's mussy is frothier than a urinal cake on dollar beer night!

Momma's mussy is flowing like a rogue wave wreaking havoc on a military base.

Momma's mussy is moister than a tres leches cake!

Momma's mussy is wetter than Grandmomma's Depends!

The he has a massive amount of skids in his drawers?

I'd do him.

If he needs to supplement his shelf stocker wage, I have a few chores around the house he can help out with.

Speaking of supplementation, I'd gladly take his precious load in suppository form every single day. Sometimes twice, if he were so inclined.

I guess he has to be a night stocker. If he worked during the day all the shoppers wouldn't shop they'd just stare at him.

I thought Asians were into baths? You mean this wasn't the first thing he thought of. I bet the Asian today is a multi millionaire while dream Ken is making $20 an hour.

Ain't it the truth.

If anybody is planning another movie on Jesus Christ he'd look good on a cross.

Yum! *lifts caftan*

Does he even know how beloved he is on DL? Does he even care?

Because we love a steamy martyr ...

He really is an alt Ken. Hot Robber Ken is meme worthy.

That was then. We’ve seen what I’m assuming are recent-ish FB and LinkedIn pics, but what does he look like NOW?

He looks late 60s early 70s gritty movie style.

Oi, fit robber!

[quote]He really is an alt Ken. Hot Robber Ken is meme worthy.

I’m sure he has all the parts.

Justin Bieber-influenced hairstyle.

R129 fuck off, fishy fanny!

r197 I'm gay. That's the fucking joke.

I would perjure myself for him if he asked me to, against the explicit instruction from my legal counsel. I would perjure myself so fucking hard, as long and as often as he needed me to, until he was completely satisfied.

It's an attribute that while on the run from the police he was still able to keep his beard styling on point.

Poor man’s Brad Pitt circa Thelma and Louise. Heck, rich man’s.

Sorry R198, that was bitchy of me anyway

I just watched the OP's arrest video again. When he said "don't be gentle guys, shove me in there good", he that sexy Texas drawl. Good God Miss Agnes!

Ordinarily, I'd say you bitches are thirsty with no taste.

But sweet merciful Meryl! You queens picked a looker this time!

I don’t want to dox him - but I do wonder how his (beautiful) life turned out.

I bet he’s currently a CEO.

Poor stupid Chen Chen. He could have made Hot Robber put out in exchange for sanctuary. After a shower first, of course. Why doesn’t anything like this ever happen to me???

R206 The point of rough trade is that the shower comes AFTER the putting out.

[quote] I don’t want to dox him - but I do wonder how his (beautiful) life turned out.

There's evidence posted, upthread, that he's a "stocker" and looks like he has a baby.

[quote]I don’t want to dox him - but I do wonder how his (beautiful) life turned out.

So, I guess you just missed the multiple posts upthread that allude to what he’s doing now?

I bet he has a dick that is tight when it's hard - the kind that snaps hard against his belly.

R210 I love those. Haven't been with one of those in years. No one has that talent anymore (not even the young studs).

Greta Lee in a star turn as Chen Chen's concerned friend!

“Chen Chen, ya chased away the boy, the booze, and the dope! Now you get outta my way, I got a man waitin' for me!”

End scene

I don't think I ever have seen such almost totally agreement on DL that anyone is hot and especially a blond.

R214 Yes, almost unanimous!

[quote]I bet he has a dick that is tight when it's hard - the kind that snaps hard against his belly.

I used to have one of those. The head came up to my navel. I had a boyfriend who loved snapping it. And then sucking it. And then fucking me (after I sucked him off for a while, of course).

Now, not so much.

My favorite DL comment so far:

"The casual hair flip at the beginning of the video is almost parody-level insane."

How many people can say that Joshua Seymour was in their bedroom??!!!

I love people with effortless hair.

I love shirtless guys with great pecs.

Per his Facebook he was once, "19D Cavalry Scout at U.S. Army."

Too bad Active Duty didn't recruit him.

effortless studliness

“Don’t be gentle now, shove me in there good.”

He said so casually. That’s not the first time he’s said that to a man while wearing handcuffs.

Did Chen-Chen end up back in his shithole country ? Donald Trump wants to know.

He'll have the wardens at the jail presenting hole in no time.

Fuck that -I want HIM to present hole. I want to eat it and fuck it.

I would do *anything* for him, including – but not limited to – insurrecting against a democratically elected government. There, I fucking said it.

Chen Chen is now a cum-dump gangbang bottom in the opium dens of Taipei.

He’s not hot to me. His face is weird. Can’t put my finger on it, no bad features really just doesn’t do it for me.

He puts dew on my lily!

He makes my willow weep!

My ladygarden awakens.

Mama's mussy is hissing louder than a copperhead snake!

My taco unwraps itself.

LEAVE SEYMOUR ALONE!

Mama’s mussy is as moist as a snack cake!

R236 And probably has more cream filling.

He's a king!

A whole mood!

[quote] He'll have the wardens at the jail presenting hole in no time.

R225 Any jail time was long ago, but with a slender, well-toned cute blond like him, I would think the big dogs in lock-up would be at war over whose prison wife he was going to be.

He's a meth! EZ Pass

[quote] Mama’s mussy is as moist as a snack cake!

Little Debbie I hope.

[Quote] Mama’s mussy is as moist as a snack cake!

isn't that just incontinence.

He must use Pert Shampoo for that bouncing and behaving hair!!!!

[quote] He must use Pert Shampoo for that bouncing and behaving hair!!!!

He's actually a Breck girl!

I see him using Body on Tap, that shampoo with beer in it.

Doesn't look like Joshua needs anything to make his blond locks look more lustrous or bouncy and behaving.

The more recent photo of him on Facebook and Linkedin shows him with pretty short hair.

I bet you he got frisked and cavity-checked a few too many times by those closeted / married security guards.

38 now.

Post from January 1, 2024.

Waking up with Joshua, but he should grow the beard back.

#I-Want-A-Divorce

How hairy do we think his ass might be? A faint dusting in the crack? Full-on blonde fur? Or smooth and pink, his slutty little secret?

Cheeks relatively smooth, but a nice ring of blonde hair around his hole. Scrupulously clean, of course!

Moist, inviting anus.

R253 Inviting one to do what, exactly?

Explore R254 what else did you think?

He's a dead ringer for Garret Dillahunt, especially the shape of his mouth.

I found him on FB but there’s only a cover picture. He’s still beautiful.

R176- This thread 🧵 is not about your MOMMA’s MUSSY!

Don't be gentle now, shove me in there good!

Great line.

I would not report him if he domestically abused me, sorry not sorry.

R260 what if he sat on your face with his sweaty behind?

R257 I found two accounts. His last pic at R249 was put up just a month ago. He showed his longer hair on December 31, then cut it on January 1. He also has photos of his daughter who has grown quite a bit.

Momma's mussy is oozing open like a taco full of warm sour cream.

Mama's mussy is spitting like catfish nuggets in a fat fryer.

Mama’s mussy is spitting like a cornered cat!

Mama's mussy needs its buttermilk churned.

Man alive, you gays REALLY want to eat this guy’s ass

Get lost, fag, with your "momma's mussy".

Even Lady Lindzebelle wouldn’t say “momma’s mussy”. Poop holes aren’t a mussy or pussy.

I heard a guy once call another guy's asshole his "stinkypussy".

Thanks for sharing, r270.

Mangina is more dignified

Just as bad, R272.

Personally, I prefer "fuckhole" as more masculine.

And lesbians have no sense of humor? Jeeze.

Cis is as bad as mussy.

Used "cis" just to avoid speaking about those with genuine gender identity issues, R276. Was previously referring to ordinary gay men.

For Christ's sake, though, if you're gay and you want to identify with women that much ("Momma's mussy") maybe you SHOULD have your man bits surgically removed and have a real pussy installed.

Idiot:

Hot Robber! Get lost, fag, with your "momma's mussy".

Hot Robber! Just as bad, R272.

Hot Robber! Used "cis" just to avoid speaking about those with genuine gender identity issues, R276. Was previously referring to ordinary gay men.

For Christ's sake, though, if you're gay and you want to identify with women that much ("Momma's mussy") maybe you SHOULD have your man bits surgically removed and have a real pussy installed.

No, dumbass r277. I'm just a gay man. Not "cis." Neither is "mussy" or "bussy" part of my vocabulary. Idiot is right.

Mamas mussy is the last ham sandwich in Hungrytown, and you’re not getting a bite R278!

Momma’s mussy is erupting with more violent convulsions than R273!

R280, I merely posted the crap being piled up by a noncomprehending lout.

As for me, I have heard Momma's mussy is boiling over hard like a gumbo with the lid on.

Chance of Seymour being attracted to anyone’s mamma’s mussy on DL is zero.

Speak for yourself, R283.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!

Sometimes pity kicks in for "guys" like R284.

I always like to see hot guys in handcuffs!

The biggest blond sensation of DL since the Wrigleyville Cum Dump!

R283 The mussy wants what it wants.

Do you think he’s into getting fucked?

R259, agreed... when he said that, to me it was like he was saying "don't be gentle, shove it in there good", lol

I like when he flips his hair - so nonchalant and cool... I also like how it seems like he's some kind of sports celebrity giving a press conference 🙃

The videographer from the news crew obviously fell in love with him, giving us that shot of Hot Robber looking like a pound puppy who just needs someone to give him a good home where he can be loved.

Fucking hell, R292, indeed someone did and our hot robber was waiting to cast his spell harder and deeper

R292 Come back, little Seymour.

Momma’s mussy is puckering more than the mouth of a hungry octopus.

R295 And I bet it smells just like one.

Octopus' mouths have no odor. Neither do the rest of them.

When they're alive, anyway.

R10, probably studies mathematics or a science that pretty much deals in equations and not language.

R297 They have eight armpits. You do the math.

Even with a criminal record, I bet that guy is never without pussy. Bad boys like that are like cat nip. He probably has 2 or 3 baby mamas.

[quote] He probably has 2 or 3 baby mamas.

But does he want a Baby Momma?

Because my mussy is hissing like a broken steam pipe!

My mussy is sweating like a whore in church!

R302 Anal discharge is often a sign of tissue damage or an STI.

The original news story is like a SNL skit!

The police give the assailant ample time to conduct an interview and pose, the fat and old cop throws out an old fashioned line about catching criminals, and a clueless witness gives a full tour of his messy apartment.

Momma’s mussy is steaming like a pork dumpling in Chen Chen’s filthy kitchen!

Momma's mussy is vibrating like the "your table's ready" pager at the Cheesecake Factory!

Momma's mussy is snapping at Seymour like.a turtle at a chicken nugget.

Momma's mussy is creaming like a leftover tuna casserole.

[quote]Momma's mussy is creaming like a leftover tuna casserole.

Leftover tuna casserole isn't creamy.

You usually add more white sauce to leftover casseroles to cream them up a bit, R309. It keeps them from being dry and stretches the dish a bit in case someone drops by for potluck. Or so I hear. I don't eat tuna.

Momma’s mussy is bubbling and popping like the white sauce in R310’s microwave!

Momma's mussy is spluttering like a toddler on a tit.

Momma's mussy is seeping like a cheap wooden coffin after six months.

Momma's mussy is steaming like a chowder begging to be ladled out.

Who the fuck lives the kind of life in which people just "drop by" for "potluck," so one must whip up cheap white sauce to keep leftover casseroles from drying out?

Queeny undergraduate seniors in their first apartment, independent living residents, and/or R310, apparently.

Jesus, R315! You really are a humorless old queen, aren't you?

Jesus, R310, you lack skills in English comprehension as well as cuisine, and on top of that your idea of humor is to share that you don't eat tuna?

Of course.

Ha ha ha.

Happy? Especially since your sniffing post sounded like a humorless old queen. Don't be so self-lacerating about your age, and pull the pearls out of your ass.

Momma’s mussy is glistening and gleaming like the pearls in R317’s ass!

Momma's mussy is as dilated as the cervix of a woman after 36 hours of labor!

Momma’s mussy is drizzling like the cornstarch slurry in Chen Chen’s egg drop soup!

Momma's mussy is throbbin' like a marathon runner's heartbeat!

Momma's mussy appears at 0:25... It's quivering!

Momma’s mussy is screaming like the fangurls of Aaron Tveit and Sutton Foster!

MOMMA- This ain't a thread about your MUSSY!

This thread has Momma’s mussy getting nastier than Hot Robber with Texas police!

Momma’s high hopes are way too unattainable. Just stick with the fantasy of scissoring with Kitara Ravache.

Tuna casserole looks gross

Have the DL detectives located his nudes yet?

Momma's mussy is sputterin' like a clogged can of Aquanet!

Momma's mussy is taking a minute to simmer down. Maybe a ice cold sip of Crystal Lite and some sodoku. Must defroth and mop up before she gets all worked up again.

Momma’s mussy is more sweaty and furious than Travis Kelce at Super Bowl!

Momma’s mussy must have finally dried up, no comments since Monday.

Momma’s mussy is sizzling like lard in a hot cast iron skillet!

Momma's mussy needs more stimulation or it's going to wither and die. More pics!

Momma’s mussy is ringing more times than the doorbell at Chen Chen’s apartment for Door Dash deliveries to him and his fat fugly friends on a Friday night!

Momma's mussy is spitting sparks like the Fagradalsfjall fissure!

[quote] "You're the queer who wants to sniff my stinking shorts!"

I see you, R133, and your classic Steve Henson porn reference. Got me through many a lonely night in my youth. "I guess he's fucking shy or something."

R136 While he appears to have turned his life around, he's not the doctor in Aspen. .. Our guy is in Austin, TX; says he works as a self-employed contractor now. He doesn't hide the fact that he was once incarcerated, saying he received training at the George Beto Correctional facility. His daughter is still in the picture. She looks about 10-12 now. How time flies.

Seymour!

Momma’s mussy wants to be demolished like a double stack slab of sheet rock in an outdated kitchen!

Momma’s mussy is so old, it was born during the FDR.administration.

[quote] Momma’s mussy wants to be demolished like a double stack slab of sheet rock in an outdated kitchen!

Pretty sure that isn't plaster, but rather horsehair and lathe...

Momma’s mussy is pre-drilled and ready for power-nailing!

Momma's mussy looks like it could use a big glob of drywall mud to try to repair that damaged hole.

[quote]r338 Our guy is in Austin, TX; says he works as a self-employed contractor now.

Mama’s Mussy (oozin’ like a hot, squeezed s’more) is movin’ to Texas!

Mama's Mussy and Texas deserve each other.

Mussy still bubbling like a gruyere and swiss fondue over a flaming an of sterno.

Momma's mussy is starting to sound like a Home Depot commercial.

Mama’s mussy needs plastic drop cloths from Aisle 6!

I think it would be fun to know Mamma’s Mussy, I mean, in polite company.

[quote]I think tattoos will become passé once this generation ages. Saggy, distorted tattoos will be associated with old people

I dearly hope you're right about this.

In flyoverstan, it’ll take 20 years longer to get rid of them. A lot of these women still have hair from the 90s.

Meet drunk and disorderly Derrick.

Momma's Mussy is bubbling over like a chinese spicy pepper hot pot in Sichuan!

Momma’s mussy is gurgling like ghost pepper hot chili on the hob!

His beauty was about to single-handedly heal the rift between the three major Abrahamic religions, but he got foiled by that meddlesome Mandarin.

That robber is so fucking HOT!

Jason Kendall is giving Hot Robber some competition!

Not even close R357, not saying Jason is ugly but he isn't in the same league as Hot Robber Joshua Seymour

Momma’s mussy is red hot firework for the Fourth of July