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Hot Robber!

Momma's mussy is bubbling like extra cheese on a stuffed pizza!

He can parole to my hole!

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by Anonymousreply 356February 22, 2024 1:27 PM

He gave someone the shirt off his back! Have mercy.

by Anonymousreply 1January 27, 2024 7:48 AM

Lucky Chen Chen!

by Anonymousreply 2January 27, 2024 7:50 AM

Hot body

by Anonymousreply 3January 27, 2024 7:54 AM

I'm prepared to post bond. All I'm asking for in return is a little bit of "appreciation".

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by Anonymousreply 4January 27, 2024 8:02 AM

All that OnlyFans money just sitting there waiting for Joshua to take it.

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by Anonymousreply 5January 27, 2024 8:05 AM

Handcuffs, Hot and ZERO tattoos? I feel like I'm looking at a unicorn!! I don't know if I'll ever see this again in my lifetime.

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by Anonymousreply 6January 27, 2024 8:12 AM

He's smart enough to not have any (visible) fugly tattoos!

by Anonymousreply 7January 27, 2024 8:20 AM

Hot as hell!

Would take his loads and hand over my wallet!

by Anonymousreply 8January 27, 2024 8:22 AM

Omg, he actually asked the chinese guy "Can I stay here for a while?"

I would have said, YOU CAN STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU WANT!

What are the odds of some hot young guy with a banging body, walking into your home, and asking if he can stay with you?

1,000,000 to 1.

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by Anonymousreply 9January 27, 2024 8:49 AM

How on earth does Chen Chen make it through university with such lousy English?

by Anonymousreply 10January 27, 2024 9:01 AM

He has a crucifix on his wall, so probably not amenable to kanoodling with the robber.

by Anonymousreply 11January 27, 2024 9:03 AM

I would enjoy a Chen-chen and Seymour fuck video.

by Anonymousreply 12January 27, 2024 9:03 AM

I would be in danger of being arrested for aiding and abetting.

by Anonymousreply 13January 27, 2024 9:09 AM

Chen Chen was petrified.

by Anonymousreply 14January 27, 2024 9:14 AM

The comments at the bottom of the YouTube video are overwhelmingly in favor of the "Bad Guy" robber.

by Anonymousreply 15January 27, 2024 9:16 AM

If he came into my apartment I would be harboring a fugitive. And by harboring I mean lots of oral stuff.

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by Anonymousreply 16January 27, 2024 9:16 AM

Where was this?

by Anonymousreply 17January 27, 2024 9:17 AM

Corpus Christi, Texas R17.

by Anonymousreply 18January 27, 2024 9:21 AM

[quote]Handcuffs, Hot and ZERO tattoos? I feel like I'm looking at a unicorn!! I don't know if I'll ever see this again in my lifetime.

I think tattoos will become passé once this generation ages.

Saggy, distorted tattoos will be associated with old people

by Anonymousreply 19January 27, 2024 9:21 AM

I couldn't find any mugshots for him in Texas.

by Anonymousreply 20January 27, 2024 9:24 AM

Innocent until proven guilty!

by Anonymousreply 21January 27, 2024 9:36 AM

On September 3, 2010, two J.C. Penny’s loss-prevention officers, Michael Sauceda and Herman Cardenas, observed appellant stealing merchandise and a pair of scissors from the store. Sauceda and Cardenas observed appellant by camera. Appellant did not know he was being watched.

Sauceda pursued appellant as he left the store and went outside with the stolen property. Sauceda and a co-worker identified themselves as security. Appellant told them that he was not going to return to the store. Sauceda told him that they would handcuff him, if necessary, to return him to the store. Sauceda took his arm, but appellant resisted and was pushed up against the wall or door.

Appellant withdrew the scissors from his pocket with his right hand and swung his arms up,bringing the scissors within six inches from Sauceda’s neck. Appellant then tried to run away, but was tackled on the sidewalk.Cardenas handcuffed appellant and picked up the merchandise and scissors that fell to the ground, except for a stolen watch that appellant was wearing.

Appellant, now in handcuffs, continued to resist and tried to kick the officers as they walked through the store’s salon. As appellant was escorted inside, he also tried to kick customers in the salon and attempted to run the officers into merchandise displays. During the escort through the store, appellant bit Leonard Sanchez, a mall security guard.

When they arrived at the loss-prevention office, appellant refused to sit down, and threw everything off of the desk. When Sauceda tried to get appellant to sit down, appellant bit Sauceda in the arm and grabbed Sauceda’s genitals. At trial, appellant testified in his own defense. While appellant admitted he attempted to steal merchandise, he denied ever threatening Sauceda with the scissors. Instead, he testified he kept the scissors in his pocket.

Appellant testified that he bit Sauceda when they were in the loss-prevention office after Sauceda put his knee in appellant’s neck and held it there until appellant could not breathe. Appellant testified at this point, he bit “very suddenly” so that Sauceda “would let up, that’s all.” Appellant testified that he did not remember biting Sanchez.

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by Anonymousreply 22January 27, 2024 9:44 AM

It’s probably long n skinny.

by Anonymousreply 23January 27, 2024 9:50 AM

R23 what is?

by Anonymousreply 24January 27, 2024 9:55 AM

^his index finger, Rose

by Anonymousreply 25January 27, 2024 9:57 AM

R24 - His middle finger, Rose.

by Anonymousreply 26January 27, 2024 9:58 AM

[R22]

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by Anonymousreply 27January 27, 2024 10:01 AM

I feel the previous police “reports” should be dismissed as gossip.

None of us where there!

by Anonymousreply 28January 27, 2024 10:04 AM

[quote] When they arrived at the loss-prevention office, appellant refused to sit down, and threw everything off of the desk.

[quote] When Sauceda tried to get appellant to sit down, appellant bit Sauceda in the arm and grabbed Sauceda’s genitals.

When in doubt, grab the arresting officer's genitals!

by Anonymousreply 29January 27, 2024 10:11 AM

Wait, did the robber grab a guy's cock?

by Anonymousreply 30January 27, 2024 10:38 AM

[quote]Handcuffs, Hot and ZERO tattoos? I feel like I'm looking at a unicorn!! I don't know if I'll ever see this again in my lifetime.

Rarer still: Is this [bold]the only instance in history American history of cops putting a handcuffed suspect into the back of a police car without placing even one hand on his head or his body? Not one?[/bold]

Talk about missed opportunity...

by Anonymousreply 31January 27, 2024 10:49 AM

He gives off a Gay4Pay vibe.

by Anonymousreply 32January 27, 2024 10:50 AM

Not Guilty!

by Anonymousreply 33January 27, 2024 10:58 AM

What, no "Mama's mussy" comments? You bitches are slipping.

by Anonymousreply 34January 27, 2024 11:07 AM

R34 did you miss the comment at OP and allusion at R27?

Maybe you're the one who's slipping? Slipping into the Hot Robber's undies!

by Anonymousreply 35January 27, 2024 11:18 AM

Hair so beautiful, like he just stepped out of a hair salon.

Instant DL Icon alert.

by Anonymousreply 36January 27, 2024 11:20 AM

"You have the right to remain silent, and I have the right to lick your shitter right here and right now."

by Anonymousreply 37January 27, 2024 11:22 AM

"Chin Chin missed his chance chance to have a hot husband for the rest of his life"

by Anonymousreply 38January 27, 2024 11:30 AM

Chen Chen's got to clean up that apartment ... what a dump!

by Anonymousreply 39January 27, 2024 11:39 AM

This video was posted seven-and-a-half years ago.

How did Joshua Seymour elude our grasp all this time?

by Anonymousreply 40January 27, 2024 11:47 AM

He definitely knows how to rock the dirty hair look. They need to bring him to me, so that I may know him. And fatten him up a bit.

by Anonymousreply 41January 27, 2024 11:49 AM

Yeah, he needs a sandwich or two

by Anonymousreply 42January 27, 2024 11:49 AM

The line to rim him slow, deep and nonstop forms on the right.

by Anonymousreply 43January 27, 2024 11:52 AM

R22 wow he's a pretty rough character. Not to be messed with when cornered.

by Anonymousreply 44January 27, 2024 11:55 AM

I can smell the affluenza and daddy's lawyer from here. I'm sure he's "gotten off" easy many times and grandma's trust fund probably has a no tattoo clause.

"He made a mistake and he was being chased by Mexicans"

by Anonymousreply 45January 27, 2024 11:58 AM

An actual angel of the Lord, caught while doing His work on Earth. Get your unworthy paws off him and let him be, he has dead unbaptised kiddies to escort to Purgatory.

by Anonymousreply 46January 27, 2024 11:59 AM

He's the bad boy chicks want to fuck. Wonder how he looks now 14-15 years after that crime report above.

by Anonymousreply 47January 27, 2024 12:11 PM

This story has all the makings of a movie.

A hot, shirtless bad boy with a ripped body and model looks.

A chinese exchange student with a cross on the wall.

A filthy apartment, littered with garbage and soy sauce.

Mall security guards escorting him through a JC Penney's beauty salon, while he kicks the old ladies as he's being led to the holding room.

Biting and crotch grabbing.

A JC Penneys!

I smell an Emmy. Maybe even an Oscar nom!

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by Anonymousreply 48January 27, 2024 12:18 PM

Please don't book Austin Butler for the role.

by Anonymousreply 49January 27, 2024 12:20 PM

I bet he's cut too!

by Anonymousreply 50January 27, 2024 12:25 PM

He looks a bit like Ryan Gosling.

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by Anonymousreply 51January 27, 2024 12:26 PM

For once Momma's mussy got it right.

by Anonymousreply 52January 27, 2024 12:33 PM

Gosh, he is just so beautiful. Chris Watts who?

by Anonymousreply 53January 27, 2024 12:35 PM

[quote]Appellant testified that he did not remember biting Sanchez.

Does he remember grabbing his genitals?

by Anonymousreply 54January 27, 2024 12:41 PM

WHET this beauty???

by Anonymousreply 55January 27, 2024 12:43 PM

Oh my..

by Anonymousreply 56January 27, 2024 12:49 PM

Mama’s mussy is squealing like a vacuum cleaner belt!

by Anonymousreply 57January 27, 2024 12:50 PM

What colour are his intimate hairs likely to be DL experts?

by Anonymousreply 58January 27, 2024 1:20 PM

Lowkey envious of all those unworthy fraus who got to sample his meat and shitter in his prime. It's those ugly hoes who should get locked up, not him! But of course, leave it to the incompetent police to get it wrong once more.

by Anonymousreply 59January 27, 2024 1:28 PM

Seven years ago. Plenty of time to get some face tattoos and meth mouth.

by Anonymousreply 60January 27, 2024 1:32 PM

Court case

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by Anonymousreply 61January 27, 2024 1:35 PM

R28 He's so obviously innocent. The persecution of white men continues.

by Anonymousreply 62January 27, 2024 1:48 PM

How's Chin Chin doing. Does he have PTSD from his blistering encounter with authentic sizzling American cage meat dripped in testosterone? Did he go back to China and bad mouth the USA? Take a spiritual Christian retreat to reprogram?

by Anonymousreply 63January 27, 2024 1:51 PM

[quote] Wait, did the robber grab a guy's cock?

Nothing new. Lady Lindzebelle does that while shop lifting menswear..

by Anonymousreply 64January 27, 2024 1:54 PM

Let’s cast the Logo Original Movie based on this story.

Title: “Too Cute to Pay: The Joshua Seymour Story.”

Starring: Ryan Gosling as Joshua, Bowen Yang as Chin, Zachary Quinto as Prosecutor Felch, Patrick Wilson as the JC Penney manager, and Kate McKinnon as Judge Marlene Wapp. With a special appearance by Diana Muldaur as Warden Harder.

by Anonymousreply 65January 27, 2024 1:59 PM

Al Franken told us that Miss Lindzebelle lifts risqué imported porcelain for her drawing room.

by Anonymousreply 66January 27, 2024 2:00 PM

[quote] Wait, did the robber grab a guy's cock?

Apparently.

He did it right after biting the security guard.

[quote] When Sauceda tried to get appellant to sit down, appellant bit Sauceda in the arm and grabbed Sauceda’s genitals.

I believe in prison, they call it the "Bite and Grab," which is used to get out of compromising situations in the shower room.

by Anonymousreply 67January 27, 2024 2:01 PM

YOUNGER actors, please.

by Anonymousreply 68January 27, 2024 2:01 PM

[quote]The persecution of white men continues.

Aww, poor baby. We will be praying for all of you.

by Anonymousreply 69January 27, 2024 2:02 PM

Bieber in body camouflage makeup would be about right.

by Anonymousreply 70January 27, 2024 2:03 PM

The casual hair flip at the beginning of the video is almost parody-level insane.

by Anonymousreply 71January 27, 2024 2:04 PM

Could Miles Heizer work up the butch? Probably has the right body.

by Anonymousreply 72January 27, 2024 2:05 PM

I think he’s turned over a new leaf. His LinkedIn page show that he’s a night stocker at a place called HEB and, per his pic, likely has a baby daughter.

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by Anonymousreply 73January 27, 2024 2:10 PM

Grocery store night stocker isn't much advancement for a decade of time. He's still gorgeous though.

by Anonymousreply 74January 27, 2024 2:14 PM

The arresting cop is super cute

by Anonymousreply 75January 27, 2024 2:17 PM

I'd love to know his history.

What drove this hottie to a life of crime?

Did he grow up in a trailer park?

Were his parents drug addicts, and he was left to fend for himself?

Or was he just born bad? He does seem to have a mischievious glint in his eye, and a bit of a sarcastic tongue, which kind of hints at him being born this way.

"I didn't think I could get away for that long. They did a lot of work for me today."

"It was pretty easy running from them, though."

"I love you guys!" (while being handcuffed)

I giggled at the end of the video where he says "Don't be gentle, now. Shove me in there good." with a little smirk on his face.

He seems to be a bit of a smartass.

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by Anonymousreply 76January 27, 2024 2:18 PM

R73 HEB is an iconic Texas supermarket. Their customers swear by them, but I never saw the appeal.

They apparently hire felons, though. Good for them!

by Anonymousreply 77January 27, 2024 2:19 PM

I would never die for my country, but I would consider dying for this Joshua beauty. He only need ask.

by Anonymousreply 78January 27, 2024 2:19 PM

[quote] Grocery store night stocker isn't much advancement for a decade of time. He's still gorgeous though.

He got the job by accident.

When he applied for the job, he thought they were looking for a night STALKER, not a night STOCKER.

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by Anonymousreply 79January 27, 2024 2:22 PM

Are we sure that’s him in the LinkedIn?

by Anonymousreply 80January 27, 2024 2:24 PM

It's a shocking and sickening miscarriage of justice. Pursued by blacks and latinos, betrayed by asians. Momma's mussy is leaking like a Jimmy Dean Sausage 'n Biscuit in the microwave.

by Anonymousreply 81January 27, 2024 2:25 PM

Queers For Seymour

by Anonymousreply 82January 27, 2024 2:26 PM

He's making Mama's mussy ooze like a Cadbury egg!

by Anonymousreply 83January 27, 2024 2:28 PM

Here’s three photos from his Facebook. They’re dated 2023.

The Facebook is really sparse and kind of odd the few pics are so recent. Could be some kind of fake? But that’s definitely the guy in the LinkedIn.

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by Anonymousreply 84January 27, 2024 2:31 PM

[quote]Are we sure that’s him in the LinkedIn?

Can’t you tell?

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by Anonymousreply 85January 27, 2024 2:32 PM

FB pix are definitely him too. That slightly bird beek-ish mouth is a dead giveaway.

by Anonymousreply 86January 27, 2024 2:34 PM

Verificatia of sizemeat?

by Anonymousreply 87January 27, 2024 2:35 PM

He reminds me of the trade that would dance naked for roomfuls of gay men at the seedy bars and clubs I used to frequent.

by Anonymousreply 88January 27, 2024 2:35 PM

Stunning lad. He makes momma's mussy vibrate at a frequency hitherto unknown to her.

by Anonymousreply 89January 27, 2024 2:36 PM

His sentence should have been a mandatory modeling contract in Milan!

by Anonymousreply 90January 27, 2024 2:42 PM

Flat butt.

by Anonymousreply 91January 27, 2024 2:54 PM

He’s not that hot, but if he asked to hide out in my house, I suppose we could work something out.

by Anonymousreply 92January 27, 2024 2:58 PM

R61 that’s one confusing rabbit hole

by Anonymousreply 93January 27, 2024 3:01 PM

Okay, let me put it into terms you'll understand: there is but one bitch who'll get to lick the nacreous layer of permacum off his prison cell floor, and that would be me. Not you, ME.

by Anonymousreply 94January 27, 2024 3:05 PM

BDF wasted one people without an easily grabbable crotch.

by Anonymousreply 95January 27, 2024 3:08 PM

Final legal disposition withheld until additional information is obtained: the length and girth of the defendant's hard cock, the musk emanating from his furry hole.....

by Anonymousreply 96January 27, 2024 3:11 PM

I want to clean Chen-Chen’s apartment.

by Anonymousreply 97January 27, 2024 3:15 PM

Somehow, I think that Joshua would be mildly amused by this thread.

He seems to have a good sense of humor.

by Anonymousreply 98January 27, 2024 3:16 PM

Of all the homes this incredbly sexy fugitive could have run into to hide, he picked Chen Chen's ? Why didn't he pick mine - he could've stayed as long as he wanted, so long as he kept his shirt off.

That apartment was FILTHY.

by Anonymousreply 99January 27, 2024 3:24 PM

Joshua and Chen Chen’s love story is one for the ages!

by Anonymousreply 100January 27, 2024 3:30 PM

I wonder how old he is now.

by Anonymousreply 101January 27, 2024 3:31 PM

They should have arrested Chen Chen!

by Anonymousreply 102January 27, 2024 3:39 PM

It’s clear in R5’s pic someone asked him to add 2+2.

by Anonymousreply 103January 27, 2024 3:47 PM

He'd be making a ton of money if he was a gay male escort. He should've considered it back then.

by Anonymousreply 104January 27, 2024 3:53 PM

He looks like Paul Walker Lite @ R85.

by Anonymousreply 105January 27, 2024 3:55 PM

He’s so fucking hot!

by Anonymousreply 106January 27, 2024 3:55 PM

Chen Chen was cute while his Chinese pals who came to his rescue were fug. Maybe Chen Chen turned to Jeebus to control his natural homosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 107January 27, 2024 3:58 PM

Chen Chen and Joshua could start an Only Fans where subscribers could request a multiverse-like array of alternate endings to their fateful filthy apartment encounter.

by Anonymousreply 108January 27, 2024 4:03 PM

He gave off a blond Jordan Catalano vibe in op’s video.

At one point, actor Joe Anderson could’ve played him in the tv movie.

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by Anonymousreply 109January 27, 2024 4:04 PM

I'd let him slam me in the pooper

by Anonymousreply 110January 27, 2024 4:04 PM

Steven Yeun as Chen Chen

by Anonymousreply 111January 27, 2024 4:09 PM

Bowen Yang as Chen Chen's roomate who got the text message!

by Anonymousreply 112January 27, 2024 4:18 PM

He should always keep a nice thick mustache, if he can grow one. He has one of those bird beak upper lips that look much better with hair over them.

I must say however, the way that broad he beat repeatedly kept coming back for more proves that dick must be mighty fine.

by Anonymousreply 113January 27, 2024 4:19 PM

[quote]Or was he just born bad? He does seem to have a mischievious glint in his eye, and a bit of a sarcastic tongue, which kind of hints at him being born this way.

I blame the loss of the penmanship medal to Claude Daigle.

by Anonymousreply 114January 27, 2024 4:25 PM

Outstanding specimen. Let's just say I wouldn't immediately dismiss him if he told me scat play was the only way he gets off.

by Anonymousreply 115January 27, 2024 4:43 PM

R109 You nailed it. I was thinking he looks like a young Jared Leto. Love his hair. He is the hottest thing to hit the DL in weeks. Three cheers for Mama's Mussy!

by Anonymousreply 116January 27, 2024 5:00 PM

Chen Chen is the real criminal here. If I were him, I would have slipped on my silkiest shorty kimono and marabou kitten heels. Made a nice cocktail for us both very quietly and encouraged my unexpected visitor to let me wash his clothing while he showers. Then I would have given him a nice oil massage and gotten him good and hard and sucked several loads of his loads.

-My own mussy in a lather at this point.

by Anonymousreply 117January 27, 2024 5:05 PM

R59 why would a frau do anything to his shitter? Wouldn't they be too prudish to even consider slipping a finger up there?

R67 thanks, that makes sense. I asked as I wrongly assumed it was something sexual.

Someone should send him a link to this thread if they found him online. He can swing by and say hi to his admirers. I'm first in line

by Anonymousreply 118January 27, 2024 5:34 PM

R117 MARY!

I mean

MARABOU!

by Anonymousreply 119January 27, 2024 5:36 PM

Have him stripped, showered, oiled down and brought to me!

by Anonymousreply 120January 27, 2024 6:10 PM

Wow - if this guy showed up at my door looking like this, and asking to come in and 'hide out' for a while, I'd let him in with no questions asked. Then I'd kneel down in front of that crucifix, and thank Jesus for answering my prayers. Then I'd make him 'feel comfortable' and 'welcome'.

by Anonymousreply 121January 27, 2024 6:12 PM

R118 yes they would. Women tend to stay away from things called “shitters”, if possible.

by Anonymousreply 122January 27, 2024 6:26 PM

Release him into the custody of momma's mussy, it'll do him more good than any prison sentence ever could.

by Anonymousreply 123January 27, 2024 6:27 PM

I'd lick his shitter.

by Anonymousreply 124January 27, 2024 6:28 PM

I doubt that’s his niece in that LinkedIn pic. I figured he’d be the type to have a kid.

by Anonymousreply 125January 27, 2024 6:40 PM

His face and build remind me of porn stud Julian Rios.

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by Anonymousreply 126January 27, 2024 6:43 PM

LOL!! God I love momma and her mussy!

by Anonymousreply 127January 27, 2024 7:08 PM

[quote] Chen Chen was cute while his Chinese pals who came to his rescue were fug. Maybe Chen Chen turned to Jeebus to control his natural homosexuality.

No way!

On a scale of 1 to 10, Chen Chen is a 1 and Joshua is a 10.

Not even in the same league.

by Anonymousreply 128January 27, 2024 7:15 PM

Nothing triggers homophobia in me more than bitches who be whistling after a guy I had already done called dibs on.

Back the fuck off, you thirsty hoes. And don't make me repeat myself either.

by Anonymousreply 129January 27, 2024 7:19 PM

If Chen Chen is a 1, that makes his fat Chinese friend a -5? Tough judge, you!

by Anonymousreply 130January 27, 2024 7:19 PM

[quote] This story has all the makings of a movie.

Or a MEN.com re-enactment.

by Anonymousreply 131January 27, 2024 7:30 PM

You're right, R131.

This story isn't a made-for-television movie.

This is a PORN scenario.

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by Anonymousreply 132January 27, 2024 7:35 PM

"You're the queer who wants to sniff my stinking shorts!"

by Anonymousreply 133January 27, 2024 7:47 PM

R132 I figured this had been a porn set-up at some point!

by Anonymousreply 134January 27, 2024 7:53 PM

Flat butt.

by Anonymousreply 135January 27, 2024 7:57 PM

There’s a Dr. Joshua Seymour that comes up on Google who’s also a volunteer firefighter in Aspen.

Could our little jailbird have turned his life around??

by Anonymousreply 136January 27, 2024 8:02 PM

[quote] Flat butt.

Easier to get to his sweaty hole.

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by Anonymousreply 137January 27, 2024 8:05 PM

If you go down the seemingly endless rabbit hole of a police report for the 2010 domestic abuse case, it is revealed that cage meat and his baby mama put up a Craigslist ad looking for “consensual third” MALE for a threesome scenario and that the guy who showed up got as far as eating out the baby mama before cage meat and baby mama got into an argument allowing for the consensual third guy to leave the hotel. So, cage meat definitely is open to at least gay adjacent experimentation…

by Anonymousreply 138January 27, 2024 8:41 PM

So beautiful, it hurts. I haven't been this inspired to start writing poetry again since the Chris Watts threads.

by Anonymousreply 139January 27, 2024 8:52 PM

Some of you really need to raise your standards.

by Anonymousreply 140January 27, 2024 9:00 PM

Great body. I'm getting Old Master vibes OP's first pic.

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by Anonymousreply 141January 27, 2024 9:32 PM

R129 He wants a hot piece of ass, not some ashy heifer.

Begone!

by Anonymousreply 142January 27, 2024 9:37 PM

I will be in charge of the strip search

FULL CAVITY 🍆🍆🍆

by Anonymousreply 143January 27, 2024 9:49 PM

A game hyperbole here. Bravo to all.

by Anonymousreply 144January 27, 2024 9:49 PM

I find it hilarious that he's acting as if he's holding a press conference with the media.

The officers are trying desperately to lock him up, while the media is asking questions, and he's just casually standing there answering them.

REALLY?

by Anonymousreply 145January 27, 2024 9:53 PM

Some of the youtube comments are very funny and gay. I wonder if a number of queens from THIS site have commented there recently

-OTHER PRISONERS WILL BE DROPPING THEIR SOAP ON PURPOSE TO SEE IF HE WILL PICK IT UP

-HE CAN HIDE AT MY APARTMENT ANY TIME

by Anonymousreply 146January 27, 2024 9:55 PM

He's gonna go viral! In prison anyway.

by Anonymousreply 147January 27, 2024 9:56 PM

:11 seconds his pants are down exposing his underwear and the shape of his HOT ass 😋

by Anonymousreply 148January 27, 2024 10:01 PM

They should not have arrested this HOT guy those DUMPY officers should be arrested just for being so DUMPY.

by Anonymousreply 149January 27, 2024 10:02 PM

Totally off-topic, but OP's headline has earwormed me with this, so I'm paying it forward. HOT LAVA! WHOOOOOOA HOT LAVA!!!!

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by Anonymousreply 150January 27, 2024 10:04 PM

R61 R138 That sounds like a different guy. That court case was in California and it says the guy had worked as a Registered Nurse at an Emergency Room in San Francisco. Within the court document, it mentions the felony charge preventing him to work as one, and he was trying to get his license re-instated. Internet search shows there's still a "Joshua Seymour' in San Francisco working as RN for contract agency Tryfacta.

by Anonymousreply 151January 27, 2024 10:25 PM

[quote] I find it hilarious that he's acting as if he's holding a press conference with the media. The officers are trying desperately to lock him up, while the media is asking questions, and he's just casually standing there answering them.

He has a future as a Republican politician.

by Anonymousreply 152January 27, 2024 11:26 PM

He looks like trash in those Facebook photos. I admit he was hot in the arrest video. He's fucking nuts, though. And not in a good way.

by Anonymousreply 153January 27, 2024 11:31 PM

Mayor Petes NEXT husband is going to look a lot more like Joshua than Chasten.

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by Anonymousreply 154January 27, 2024 11:33 PM

[quote]Joshua and Chen Chen’s love story is one for the ages!

Didn't they almost have it all, the night they held on till the morning

by Anonymousreply 155January 27, 2024 11:45 PM

JOSHUA SEYMOUR FOR FIRST LADY

by Anonymousreply 156January 28, 2024 12:01 AM

Blond Ronnie Dobbs

by Anonymousreply 157January 28, 2024 12:42 AM

He’s like the blonde love child of Chance Crawford and Toby McGuire.

by Anonymousreply 158January 28, 2024 1:04 AM

Suddenly Seymour!

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by Anonymousreply 159January 28, 2024 1:10 AM

He’s probably wasn’t fresh or clean that day.

by Anonymousreply 160January 28, 2024 1:12 AM

Which one of you bitches wrote this in the YT comments?

[quote] He’s cute, but I bet his butthole stinks.

by Anonymousreply 161January 28, 2024 1:19 AM

COMMENT: “The only thing he’s guilty of is stealing our hearts!”

by Anonymousreply 162January 28, 2024 1:25 AM

R160 This is why the first thing Chen Chen should have done is ask him if he like to calm down and relax with a nice hot shower or bath, saying not to worry about him calling anyone, as he'd remain in sight in the bathroom with him the whole time .. even scrub his back if he wanted.

by Anonymousreply 163January 28, 2024 1:27 AM

How did all those fat out of shape cops manage to out run our Joshua?

by Anonymousreply 164January 28, 2024 1:30 AM

[quote] He probably wasn’t fresh or clean that day.

I would have given him a bath if he walked into my apartment.

After that, the fun would begin!

by Anonymousreply 165January 28, 2024 4:10 AM

I'm waiting for the one gross comment someone will always make about a hot guy here.....

by Anonymousreply 166January 28, 2024 4:11 AM

That he's uncut, r166?

by Anonymousreply 167January 28, 2024 4:19 AM

R167 Nope. (That's a feature and not a bug in my book)

by Anonymousreply 168January 28, 2024 4:59 AM

Momma's mussy is splashing foam like a cappuccino held by Michael J. Fox.

by Anonymousreply 169January 28, 2024 5:15 AM

[R167]

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by Anonymousreply 170January 28, 2024 5:38 AM

[R160]

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by Anonymousreply 171January 28, 2024 5:44 AM

Mamma’s muzzy, with hot dog crust?

by Anonymousreply 172January 28, 2024 5:47 AM

His body is so old school lithe. Fit, lean, but not super cut, not extremely bulky.

by Anonymousreply 173January 28, 2024 5:55 AM

[R148]

Mama's loins are sizzlin' more than Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ♨️

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by Anonymousreply 174January 28, 2024 6:05 AM

He's so hot and so trashy and so IDGAF. Best post in a while.

by Anonymousreply 175January 28, 2024 6:09 AM

Momma's mussy is frothier than a urinal cake on dollar beer night!

by Anonymousreply 176January 28, 2024 6:12 AM

Momma's mussy is flowing like a rogue wave wreaking havoc on a military base.

by Anonymousreply 177January 28, 2024 6:12 AM

Momma's mussy is moister than a tres leches cake!

by Anonymousreply 178January 28, 2024 6:17 AM

Momma's mussy is wetter than Grandmomma's Depends!

by Anonymousreply 179January 28, 2024 6:19 AM

The he has a massive amount of skids in his drawers?

by Anonymousreply 180January 28, 2024 6:28 AM

I'd do him.

by Anonymousreply 181January 28, 2024 6:55 AM

If he needs to supplement his shelf stocker wage, I have a few chores around the house he can help out with.

by Anonymousreply 182January 28, 2024 8:13 AM

Speaking of supplementation, I'd gladly take his precious load in suppository form every single day. Sometimes twice, if he were so inclined.

by Anonymousreply 183January 28, 2024 8:24 AM

I guess he has to be a night stocker. If he worked during the day all the shoppers wouldn't shop they'd just stare at him.

by Anonymousreply 184January 28, 2024 8:59 AM

I thought Asians were into baths? You mean this wasn't the first thing he thought of. I bet the Asian today is a multi millionaire while dream Ken is making $20 an hour.

by Anonymousreply 185January 28, 2024 9:06 AM

Ain't it the truth.

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by Anonymousreply 186January 28, 2024 10:11 AM

If anybody is planning another movie on Jesus Christ he'd look good on a cross.

by Anonymousreply 187January 28, 2024 11:38 AM

Yum! *lifts caftan*

by Anonymousreply 188January 28, 2024 3:25 PM

Does he even know how beloved he is on DL? Does he even care?

by Anonymousreply 189January 28, 2024 3:53 PM

Because we love a steamy martyr ...

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by Anonymousreply 190January 28, 2024 3:55 PM

He really is an alt Ken. Hot Robber Ken is meme worthy.

by Anonymousreply 191January 28, 2024 4:27 PM

That was then. We’ve seen what I’m assuming are recent-ish FB and LinkedIn pics, but what does he look like NOW?

by Anonymousreply 192January 28, 2024 4:37 PM

He looks late 60s early 70s gritty movie style.

by Anonymousreply 193January 28, 2024 4:48 PM

Oi, fit robber!

by Anonymousreply 194January 28, 2024 5:08 PM

[quote]He really is an alt Ken. Hot Robber Ken is meme worthy.

I’m sure he has all the parts.

by Anonymousreply 195January 28, 2024 5:11 PM

Justin Bieber-influenced hairstyle.

by Anonymousreply 196January 28, 2024 5:20 PM

R129 fuck off, fishy fanny!

by Anonymousreply 197January 28, 2024 5:30 PM

r197 I'm gay. That's the fucking joke.

by Anonymousreply 198January 28, 2024 7:27 PM

I would perjure myself for him if he asked me to, against the explicit instruction from my legal counsel. I would perjure myself so fucking hard, as long and as often as he needed me to, until he was completely satisfied.

by Anonymousreply 199January 28, 2024 7:27 PM

It's an attribute that while on the run from the police he was still able to keep his beard styling on point.

by Anonymousreply 200January 28, 2024 7:34 PM

Poor man’s Brad Pitt circa Thelma and Louise. Heck, rich man’s.

by Anonymousreply 201January 28, 2024 7:43 PM

Sorry R198, that was bitchy of me anyway

by Anonymousreply 202January 28, 2024 7:51 PM

I just watched the OP's arrest video again. When he said "don't be gentle guys, shove me in there good", he that sexy Texas drawl. Good God Miss Agnes!

by Anonymousreply 203January 28, 2024 7:56 PM

Ordinarily, I'd say you bitches are thirsty with no taste.

But sweet merciful Meryl! You queens picked a looker this time!

by Anonymousreply 204January 28, 2024 8:28 PM

I don’t want to dox him - but I do wonder how his (beautiful) life turned out.

I bet he’s currently a CEO.

by Anonymousreply 205January 28, 2024 8:36 PM

Poor stupid Chen Chen. He could have made Hot Robber put out in exchange for sanctuary. After a shower first, of course. Why doesn’t anything like this ever happen to me???

by Anonymousreply 206January 28, 2024 8:38 PM

R206 The point of rough trade is that the shower comes AFTER the putting out.

by Anonymousreply 207January 28, 2024 8:42 PM

[quote] I don’t want to dox him - but I do wonder how his (beautiful) life turned out.

There's evidence posted, upthread, that he's a "stocker" and looks like he has a baby.

by Anonymousreply 208January 28, 2024 8:44 PM

[quote]I don’t want to dox him - but I do wonder how his (beautiful) life turned out.

So, I guess you just missed the multiple posts upthread that allude to what he’s doing now?

by Anonymousreply 209January 28, 2024 9:02 PM

I bet he has a dick that is tight when it's hard - the kind that snaps hard against his belly.

by Anonymousreply 210January 28, 2024 9:08 PM

R210 I love those. Haven't been with one of those in years. No one has that talent anymore (not even the young studs).

by Anonymousreply 211January 28, 2024 9:11 PM

Greta Lee in a star turn as Chen Chen's concerned friend!

by Anonymousreply 212January 28, 2024 11:31 PM

“Chen Chen, ya chased away the boy, the booze, and the dope! Now you get outta my way, I got a man waitin' for me!”

End scene

by Anonymousreply 213January 29, 2024 12:00 AM

I don't think I ever have seen such almost totally agreement on DL that anyone is hot and especially a blond.

by Anonymousreply 214January 29, 2024 12:01 AM

R214 Yes, almost unanimous!

by Anonymousreply 215January 29, 2024 12:41 AM

[quote]I bet he has a dick that is tight when it's hard - the kind that snaps hard against his belly.

I used to have one of those. The head came up to my navel. I had a boyfriend who loved snapping it. And then sucking it. And then fucking me (after I sucked him off for a while, of course).

Now, not so much.

by Anonymousreply 216January 29, 2024 12:47 AM

My favorite DL comment so far:

"The casual hair flip at the beginning of the video is almost parody-level insane."

by Anonymousreply 217January 29, 2024 1:14 AM

How many people can say that Joshua Seymour was in their bedroom??!!!

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by Anonymousreply 218January 29, 2024 1:17 AM

I love people with effortless hair.

by Anonymousreply 219January 29, 2024 1:21 AM

I love shirtless guys with great pecs.

by Anonymousreply 220January 29, 2024 1:22 AM

Per his Facebook he was once, "19D Cavalry Scout at U.S. Army."

Too bad Active Duty didn't recruit him.

by Anonymousreply 221January 29, 2024 2:24 AM

effortless studliness

by Anonymousreply 222January 29, 2024 2:26 AM

“Don’t be gentle now, shove me in there good.”

He said so casually. That’s not the first time he’s said that to a man while wearing handcuffs.

by Anonymousreply 223January 29, 2024 2:43 AM

Did Chen-Chen end up back in his shithole country ? Donald Trump wants to know.

by Anonymousreply 224January 29, 2024 2:45 AM

He'll have the wardens at the jail presenting hole in no time.

by Anonymousreply 225January 29, 2024 4:43 AM

Fuck that -I want HIM to present hole. I want to eat it and fuck it.

by Anonymousreply 226January 29, 2024 4:45 AM

I would do *anything* for him, including – but not limited to – insurrecting against a democratically elected government. There, I fucking said it.

by Anonymousreply 227January 29, 2024 4:56 AM

Chen Chen is now a cum-dump gangbang bottom in the opium dens of Taipei.

by Anonymousreply 228January 29, 2024 5:07 AM

He’s not hot to me. His face is weird. Can’t put my finger on it, no bad features really just doesn’t do it for me.

by Anonymousreply 229January 29, 2024 5:34 AM

He puts dew on my lily!

by Anonymousreply 230January 29, 2024 4:21 PM

He makes my willow weep!

by Anonymousreply 231January 29, 2024 5:05 PM

My ladygarden awakens.

by Anonymousreply 232January 29, 2024 5:30 PM

Mama's mussy is hissing louder than a copperhead snake!

by Anonymousreply 233January 29, 2024 5:37 PM

My taco unwraps itself.

by Anonymousreply 234January 29, 2024 6:05 PM

LEAVE SEYMOUR ALONE!

by Anonymousreply 235January 29, 2024 6:08 PM

Mama’s mussy is as moist as a snack cake!

by Anonymousreply 236January 29, 2024 6:25 PM

R236 And probably has more cream filling.

by Anonymousreply 237January 29, 2024 7:03 PM

He's a king!

A whole mood!

by Anonymousreply 238January 29, 2024 7:04 PM

[quote] He'll have the wardens at the jail presenting hole in no time.

R225 Any jail time was long ago, but with a slender, well-toned cute blond like him, I would think the big dogs in lock-up would be at war over whose prison wife he was going to be.

by Anonymousreply 239January 29, 2024 7:45 PM

He's a meth! EZ Pass

by Anonymousreply 240January 29, 2024 8:00 PM

[quote] Mama’s mussy is as moist as a snack cake!

Little Debbie I hope.

by Anonymousreply 241January 29, 2024 8:02 PM

[Quote] Mama’s mussy is as moist as a snack cake!

isn't that just incontinence.

by Anonymousreply 242January 29, 2024 8:04 PM

He must use Pert Shampoo for that bouncing and behaving hair!!!!

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by Anonymousreply 243January 29, 2024 8:43 PM

[quote] He must use Pert Shampoo for that bouncing and behaving hair!!!!

He's actually a Breck girl!

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by Anonymousreply 244January 29, 2024 8:48 PM

I see him using Body on Tap, that shampoo with beer in it.

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by Anonymousreply 245January 29, 2024 11:31 PM

Doesn't look like Joshua needs anything to make his blond locks look more lustrous or bouncy and behaving.

The more recent photo of him on Facebook and Linkedin shows him with pretty short hair.

by Anonymousreply 246January 30, 2024 12:06 AM

I bet you he got frisked and cavity-checked a few too many times by those closeted / married security guards.

by Anonymousreply 247January 30, 2024 2:28 AM
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by Anonymousreply 248January 30, 2024 3:04 AM

38 now.

Post from January 1, 2024.

Waking up with Joshua, but he should grow the beard back.

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by Anonymousreply 249January 30, 2024 8:19 PM

#I-Want-A-Divorce

by Anonymousreply 250January 30, 2024 8:24 PM

How hairy do we think his ass might be? A faint dusting in the crack? Full-on blonde fur? Or smooth and pink, his slutty little secret?

by Anonymousreply 251January 30, 2024 10:44 PM

Cheeks relatively smooth, but a nice ring of blonde hair around his hole. Scrupulously clean, of course!

by Anonymousreply 252January 30, 2024 10:46 PM

Moist, inviting anus.

by Anonymousreply 253January 30, 2024 11:17 PM

R253 Inviting one to do what, exactly?

by Anonymousreply 254February 1, 2024 3:50 AM

Explore R254 what else did you think?

by Anonymousreply 255February 2, 2024 2:19 AM

He's a dead ringer for Garret Dillahunt, especially the shape of his mouth.

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by Anonymousreply 256February 2, 2024 2:37 AM

I found him on FB but there’s only a cover picture. He’s still beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 257February 2, 2024 1:33 PM

R176- This thread 🧵 is not about your MOMMA’s MUSSY!

by Anonymousreply 258February 2, 2024 2:04 PM

Don't be gentle now, shove me in there good!

Great line.

by Anonymousreply 259February 2, 2024 3:39 PM

I would not report him if he domestically abused me, sorry not sorry.

by Anonymousreply 260February 2, 2024 4:51 PM

R260 what if he sat on your face with his sweaty behind?

by Anonymousreply 261February 2, 2024 7:04 PM

R257 I found two accounts. His last pic at R249 was put up just a month ago. He showed his longer hair on December 31, then cut it on January 1. He also has photos of his daughter who has grown quite a bit.

by Anonymousreply 262February 2, 2024 7:29 PM

Momma's mussy is oozing open like a taco full of warm sour cream.

by Anonymousreply 263February 3, 2024 1:21 AM

Mama's mussy is spitting like catfish nuggets in a fat fryer.

by Anonymousreply 264February 3, 2024 1:32 AM

Mama’s mussy is spitting like a cornered cat!

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by Anonymousreply 265February 3, 2024 1:38 AM

Mama's mussy needs its buttermilk churned.

by Anonymousreply 266February 3, 2024 1:55 AM

Man alive, you gays REALLY want to eat this guy’s ass

by Anonymousreply 267February 3, 2024 4:50 PM

Get lost, fag, with your "momma's mussy".

by Anonymousreply 268February 3, 2024 5:52 PM

Even Lady Lindzebelle wouldn’t say “momma’s mussy”. Poop holes aren’t a mussy or pussy.

by Anonymousreply 269February 3, 2024 8:14 PM

I heard a guy once call another guy's asshole his "stinkypussy".

by Anonymousreply 270February 4, 2024 2:07 AM

Thanks for sharing, r270.

by Anonymousreply 271February 4, 2024 3:05 AM

Mangina is more dignified

by Anonymousreply 272February 5, 2024 3:21 AM

Just as bad, R272.

by Anonymousreply 273February 5, 2024 6:54 AM

Personally, I prefer "fuckhole" as more masculine.

by Anonymousreply 274February 5, 2024 7:01 AM

And lesbians have no sense of humor? Jeeze.

by Anonymousreply 275February 5, 2024 7:05 AM

Cis is as bad as mussy.

by Anonymousreply 276February 5, 2024 8:25 AM

Used "cis" just to avoid speaking about those with genuine gender identity issues, R276. Was previously referring to ordinary gay men.

For Christ's sake, though, if you're gay and you want to identify with women that much ("Momma's mussy") maybe you SHOULD have your man bits surgically removed and have a real pussy installed.

by Anonymousreply 277February 5, 2024 11:27 AM

Idiot:

Hot Robber! Get lost, fag, with your "momma's mussy".

Hot Robber! Just as bad, R272.

Hot Robber! Used "cis" just to avoid speaking about those with genuine gender identity issues, R276. Was previously referring to ordinary gay men.

For Christ's sake, though, if you're gay and you want to identify with women that much ("Momma's mussy") maybe you SHOULD have your man bits surgically removed and have a real pussy installed.

by Anonymousreply 278February 5, 2024 12:41 PM

No, dumbass r277. I'm just a gay man. Not "cis." Neither is "mussy" or "bussy" part of my vocabulary. Idiot is right.

by Anonymousreply 279February 5, 2024 1:11 PM

Mamas mussy is the last ham sandwich in Hungrytown, and you’re not getting a bite R278!

by Anonymousreply 280February 5, 2024 4:33 PM

Momma’s mussy is erupting with more violent convulsions than R273!

by Anonymousreply 281February 5, 2024 5:24 PM

R280, I merely posted the crap being piled up by a noncomprehending lout.

As for me, I have heard Momma's mussy is boiling over hard like a gumbo with the lid on.

by Anonymousreply 282February 5, 2024 6:31 PM

Chance of Seymour being attracted to anyone’s mamma’s mussy on DL is zero.

by Anonymousreply 283February 5, 2024 9:13 PM

Speak for yourself, R283.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!

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by Anonymousreply 284February 5, 2024 9:18 PM

Sometimes pity kicks in for "guys" like R284.

by Anonymousreply 285February 5, 2024 9:24 PM

I always like to see hot guys in handcuffs!

by Anonymousreply 286February 5, 2024 11:28 PM

The biggest blond sensation of DL since the Wrigleyville Cum Dump!

by Anonymousreply 287February 5, 2024 11:42 PM

R283 The mussy wants what it wants.

by Anonymousreply 288February 6, 2024 9:22 PM

Do you think he’s into getting fucked?

by Anonymousreply 289February 7, 2024 7:29 PM

R259, agreed... when he said that, to me it was like he was saying "don't be gentle, shove it in there good", lol

by Anonymousreply 290February 8, 2024 9:30 AM

I like when he flips his hair - so nonchalant and cool... I also like how it seems like he's some kind of sports celebrity giving a press conference 🙃

by Anonymousreply 291February 8, 2024 9:35 AM

The videographer from the news crew obviously fell in love with him, giving us that shot of Hot Robber looking like a pound puppy who just needs someone to give him a good home where he can be loved.

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by Anonymousreply 292February 8, 2024 8:19 PM

Fucking hell, R292, indeed someone did and our hot robber was waiting to cast his spell harder and deeper

by Anonymousreply 293February 8, 2024 9:31 PM

R292 Come back, little Seymour.

by Anonymousreply 294February 9, 2024 1:17 PM

Momma’s mussy is puckering more than the mouth of a hungry octopus.

by Anonymousreply 295February 9, 2024 3:20 PM

R295 And I bet it smells just like one.

by Anonymousreply 296February 9, 2024 4:00 PM

Octopus' mouths have no odor. Neither do the rest of them.

When they're alive, anyway.

by Anonymousreply 297February 9, 2024 11:08 PM

R10, probably studies mathematics or a science that pretty much deals in equations and not language.

by Anonymousreply 298February 10, 2024 12:01 AM

R297 They have eight armpits. You do the math.

by Anonymousreply 299February 10, 2024 12:30 AM

Even with a criminal record, I bet that guy is never without pussy. Bad boys like that are like cat nip. He probably has 2 or 3 baby mamas.

by Anonymousreply 300February 10, 2024 12:48 AM

[quote] He probably has 2 or 3 baby mamas.

But does he want a Baby Momma?

Because my mussy is hissing like a broken steam pipe!

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by Anonymousreply 301February 10, 2024 12:51 AM

My mussy is sweating like a whore in church!

by Anonymousreply 302February 10, 2024 2:42 AM

R302 Anal discharge is often a sign of tissue damage or an STI.

by Anonymousreply 303February 10, 2024 6:47 AM

The original news story is like a SNL skit!

The police give the assailant ample time to conduct an interview and pose, the fat and old cop throws out an old fashioned line about catching criminals, and a clueless witness gives a full tour of his messy apartment.

by Anonymousreply 304February 10, 2024 7:19 AM

Momma’s mussy is steaming like a pork dumpling in Chen Chen’s filthy kitchen!

by Anonymousreply 305February 10, 2024 4:16 PM

Momma's mussy is vibrating like the "your table's ready" pager at the Cheesecake Factory!

by Anonymousreply 306February 10, 2024 7:20 PM

Momma's mussy is snapping at Seymour like.a turtle at a chicken nugget.

by Anonymousreply 307February 11, 2024 12:09 AM

Momma's mussy is creaming like a leftover tuna casserole.

by Anonymousreply 308February 11, 2024 12:39 AM

[quote]Momma's mussy is creaming like a leftover tuna casserole.

Leftover tuna casserole isn't creamy.

by Anonymousreply 309February 11, 2024 12:49 AM

You usually add more white sauce to leftover casseroles to cream them up a bit, R309. It keeps them from being dry and stretches the dish a bit in case someone drops by for potluck. Or so I hear. I don't eat tuna.

by Anonymousreply 310February 11, 2024 12:51 AM

Momma’s mussy is bubbling and popping like the white sauce in R310’s microwave!

by Anonymousreply 311February 11, 2024 2:20 AM

Momma's mussy is spluttering like a toddler on a tit.

by Anonymousreply 312February 11, 2024 2:24 AM

Momma's mussy is seeping like a cheap wooden coffin after six months.

by Anonymousreply 313February 11, 2024 2:26 AM

Momma's mussy is steaming like a chowder begging to be ladled out.

by Anonymousreply 314February 11, 2024 2:37 AM

Who the fuck lives the kind of life in which people just "drop by" for "potluck," so one must whip up cheap white sauce to keep leftover casseroles from drying out?

Queeny undergraduate seniors in their first apartment, independent living residents, and/or R310, apparently.

by Anonymousreply 315February 11, 2024 2:44 AM

Jesus, R315! You really are a humorless old queen, aren't you?

by Anonymousreply 316February 11, 2024 2:47 AM

Jesus, R310, you lack skills in English comprehension as well as cuisine, and on top of that your idea of humor is to share that you don't eat tuna?

Of course.

Ha ha ha.

Happy? Especially since your sniffing post sounded like a humorless old queen. Don't be so self-lacerating about your age, and pull the pearls out of your ass.

by Anonymousreply 317February 11, 2024 3:04 AM

Momma’s mussy is glistening and gleaming like the pearls in R317’s ass!

by Anonymousreply 318February 11, 2024 3:49 AM

Momma's mussy is as dilated as the cervix of a woman after 36 hours of labor!

by Anonymousreply 319February 11, 2024 3:55 AM

Momma’s mussy is drizzling like the cornstarch slurry in Chen Chen’s egg drop soup!

by Anonymousreply 320February 11, 2024 4:52 AM

Momma's mussy is throbbin' like a marathon runner's heartbeat!

by Anonymousreply 321February 11, 2024 5:00 AM

Momma's mussy appears at 0:25... It's quivering!

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by Anonymousreply 322February 11, 2024 5:24 AM

Momma’s mussy is screaming like the fangurls of Aaron Tveit and Sutton Foster!

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by Anonymousreply 323February 11, 2024 5:33 AM

MOMMA- This ain't a thread about your MUSSY!

by Anonymousreply 324February 11, 2024 6:03 AM

This thread has Momma’s mussy getting nastier than Hot Robber with Texas police!

by Anonymousreply 325February 11, 2024 6:27 AM

Momma’s high hopes are way too unattainable. Just stick with the fantasy of scissoring with Kitara Ravache.

by Anonymousreply 326February 11, 2024 10:55 AM

Tuna casserole looks gross

by Anonymousreply 327February 11, 2024 11:31 AM

Have the DL detectives located his nudes yet?

by Anonymousreply 328February 11, 2024 11:40 AM

Momma's mussy is sputterin' like a clogged can of Aquanet!

by Anonymousreply 329February 11, 2024 3:09 PM

Momma's mussy is taking a minute to simmer down. Maybe a ice cold sip of Crystal Lite and some sodoku. Must defroth and mop up before she gets all worked up again.

by Anonymousreply 330February 11, 2024 4:12 PM

Momma’s mussy is more sweaty and furious than Travis Kelce at Super Bowl!

by Anonymousreply 331February 12, 2024 5:40 AM

Momma’s mussy must have finally dried up, no comments since Monday.

by Anonymousreply 332February 16, 2024 10:51 PM

Momma’s mussy is sizzling like lard in a hot cast iron skillet!

by Anonymousreply 333February 16, 2024 11:18 PM

Momma's mussy needs more stimulation or it's going to wither and die. More pics!

by Anonymousreply 334February 16, 2024 11:52 PM

Momma’s mussy is ringing more times than the doorbell at Chen Chen’s apartment for Door Dash deliveries to him and his fat fugly friends on a Friday night!

by Anonymousreply 335February 17, 2024 2:44 AM

Momma's mussy is spitting sparks like the Fagradalsfjall fissure!

by Anonymousreply 336February 17, 2024 2:51 AM

[quote] "You're the queer who wants to sniff my stinking shorts!"

I see you, R133, and your classic Steve Henson porn reference. Got me through many a lonely night in my youth. "I guess he's fucking shy or something."

by Anonymousreply 337February 17, 2024 2:05 PM

R136 While he appears to have turned his life around, he's not the doctor in Aspen. .. Our guy is in Austin, TX; says he works as a self-employed contractor now. He doesn't hide the fact that he was once incarcerated, saying he received training at the George Beto Correctional facility. His daughter is still in the picture. She looks about 10-12 now. How time flies.

by Anonymousreply 338February 17, 2024 11:38 PM

Seymour!

by Anonymousreply 339February 18, 2024 3:56 AM

Momma’s mussy wants to be demolished like a double stack slab of sheet rock in an outdated kitchen!

by Anonymousreply 340February 18, 2024 7:12 AM

Momma’s mussy is so old, it was born during the FDR.administration.

by Anonymousreply 341February 20, 2024 8:39 PM

[quote] Momma’s mussy wants to be demolished like a double stack slab of sheet rock in an outdated kitchen!

Pretty sure that isn't plaster, but rather horsehair and lathe...

by Anonymousreply 342February 20, 2024 9:38 PM

Momma’s mussy is pre-drilled and ready for power-nailing!

by Anonymousreply 343February 20, 2024 9:43 PM

Momma's mussy looks like it could use a big glob of drywall mud to try to repair that damaged hole.

by Anonymousreply 344February 20, 2024 10:11 PM

[quote]r338 Our guy is in Austin, TX; says he works as a self-employed contractor now.

Mama’s Mussy (oozin’ like a hot, squeezed s’more) is movin’ to Texas!

by Anonymousreply 345February 20, 2024 11:13 PM

Mama's Mussy and Texas deserve each other.

by Anonymousreply 346February 21, 2024 3:41 AM

Mussy still bubbling like a gruyere and swiss fondue over a flaming an of sterno.

by Anonymousreply 347February 21, 2024 3:46 AM

Momma's mussy is starting to sound like a Home Depot commercial.

by Anonymousreply 348February 21, 2024 3:54 AM

Mama’s mussy needs plastic drop cloths from Aisle 6!

by Anonymousreply 349February 21, 2024 4:30 AM

I think it would be fun to know Mamma’s Mussy, I mean, in polite company.

by Anonymousreply 350February 21, 2024 4:44 AM

[quote]I think tattoos will become passé once this generation ages. Saggy, distorted tattoos will be associated with old people

I dearly hope you're right about this.

by Anonymousreply 351February 21, 2024 4:54 AM

In flyoverstan, it’ll take 20 years longer to get rid of them. A lot of these women still have hair from the 90s.

by Anonymousreply 352February 21, 2024 5:01 AM

Meet drunk and disorderly Derrick.

Momma's Mussy is bubbling over like a chinese spicy pepper hot pot in Sichuan!

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by Anonymousreply 353February 21, 2024 7:29 AM

Momma’s mussy is gurgling like ghost pepper hot chili on the hob!

by Anonymousreply 354February 22, 2024 8:08 AM

His beauty was about to single-handedly heal the rift between the three major Abrahamic religions, but he got foiled by that meddlesome Mandarin.

by Anonymousreply 355February 22, 2024 12:54 PM

That robber is so fucking HOT!

by Anonymousreply 356February 22, 2024 1:27 PM
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