I am the fact that Jo Kay had, like, only ten days to prepare for this, so please throw a dog a bone?
Let's be The Golden Globes!
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | January 12, 2024 11:54 PM |
I am The Bitter Tears of Greta von Gerwig.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | January 11, 2024 11:28 PM |
I'm Helen Mirren, dressed as a squid's vagina.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | January 11, 2024 11:30 PM |
I’m bribing the HFPA with a Big Mac.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | January 11, 2024 11:33 PM |
I'm the mucho mucho bazoomas
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | January 11, 2024 11:33 PM |
I'm Blanches calendar.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | January 11, 2024 11:38 PM |
I'm Taylor Swift's stink-eye.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | January 11, 2024 11:41 PM |
I'm Pedro Pascal's fluffy PJs!
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | January 11, 2024 11:42 PM |
I'm Margot Robbie suddenly feeling like a complete fucking idiot.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | January 11, 2024 11:43 PM |
I’m the drunken speeches.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | January 12, 2024 11:59 AM |
I'm talent, unobserved and unrecognized.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | January 12, 2024 12:03 PM |
I'm Philip Berk's fingers, sadly untainted from that musky and slightly uncareful smell of Fraser.
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | January 12, 2024 12:06 PM |
I'm De Niro and Streep, representing.
What, we're not sure.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | January 12, 2024 12:25 PM |
I'm Selena Gomez. No, I'm not gossiping about Tim and Kylie. Why would you ever think that.
Time for another social media break.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | January 12, 2024 5:11 PM |
I'm Gary Oldman, splayed out in my chair pushed away from my table so everyone waking by me to accept their awards has to ask me to please move. What do i care if I'm holding everyone and the broadcast up? iIneed to be comfortable!
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | January 12, 2024 5:16 PM |
I'm date-rape and AIDS jokes.
Also known as Jo Kay's "backup plan".
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | January 12, 2024 5:58 PM |
Gary, get the FUCK out of the way! Your rival, Daniel Day-Lewis, would never have been such a prick!
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | January 12, 2024 6:42 PM |
R15 Going on a date-rape spree sounds like a very time consuming alternative to telling jokes on TV.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | January 12, 2024 6:43 PM |
I’m Golden Globe loser but totally heterosexual actor TimoTay Chalamet.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | January 12, 2024 6:47 PM |
I’m the dramas nominated in the comedy category.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | January 12, 2024 10:14 PM |
I'm Bradley Cooper's tears and rage buried deep behind a tight smile.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | January 12, 2024 10:41 PM |
I'm the irrelevance. I'll be around all the way through to the Oscars, though Hollywood keeps trying to pretend otherwise.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | January 12, 2024 10:48 PM |
I'm Kylie. I am more important than anyone else in this room and I have never done anything at all.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | January 12, 2024 11:10 PM |
I'm Pia Zadora's Lifetime Achievement Award.
AKA "New Star of the Year Award.
Same thing.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | January 12, 2024 11:46 PM |
Please tell me Pia Zadora was (1) not at this thing and (2) did not win shit.
"Flattening Pickfair" is not a category.
I hope.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | January 12, 2024 11:54 PM |