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My mother keeps telling me I smell bad, but I can't smell it.

I'm fucking sick of hearing it. I've become so self-conscious and insecure because of this.

For financial reasons and the crappy housing market for single people like me, I had to move back home with my parents last year (don't bother calling me a loser, I have my reasons). They're both mid 60s. My mother has always been the bitchiest, pettiest, most insulting person ever. She refers to random neighbours, who haven't done anything bad to her, as rude names like "ugly Jess" "Fat Maria" "Bald Brian" --never to their faces, that's just how she refers to them.

Anyway, growing up, she'd always tell me I smelled. We didn't have a car because we were poor, so I always had to walk everywhere. Every day when I'd come home from school or anywhere else, she'd tell me to leave the kitchen and change my clothes because my smell was making her sick. Wash your armpits, wash your feet--she'd always say this to me. She was always so smarmy and nasty about it too, like she'd half smirk when saying it. I swear, growing up around that bitch damaged me and made me so self-conscious.

Here's the thing, my hygiene was good. I would wash myself everyday before school, put on clean clothes, body spray and deodorant. Even when I was clean and fresh in the mornings BEFORE walking to school, she'd still sometimes fuss about how I smelled bad. What the fuck was she smelling? By the way, I've always been slim and walking doesn't make me sweat like a pig, When I'd come home from school every day, I was not drenched in sweat and I know I didn't smell as bad as she claimed. Sure, on hot days I'd be sweaty and I COULD smell that, but on normal, breezy, chilly days I DID NOT SMELL, but she still told me I did. I asked other people if I smelled, and they said no.

Now, all these years later I'm back living at home, and she's insulting my odour again. Even if I've just showered and just sitting down watching TV, she tells me I smell like sweat and that I should go wash myself. She also insults my breath frequently. I actually do have an issue with my breath. It's not severe halitosis but if I get hungry at all, my breath smells like ammonia. In general, my breath is alright as long as I brush three times a day, use mouthwash every hour, breath spray and keep hydrated. However, whenever I'm around her, I'm afraid to talk or open my mouth, because I know she'll insult my breath. I can only talk to her if I'm chewing gum. One time, in a queue in shopping centre, I asked her something and she made such a fucking scene in front of all the other customers and said loudly that she can't talk to me when my breath smells like that.

She is driving me mad. I shower and brush/floss my teeth. My clothes are clean. I am not dirty but all these comments about my stench make me feel disgusting. I sniff my clothes when I talk them off and they don't smell. I'm not arrogant or delusional. Sometimes my clothes do smell if I've been out in the heat all day or if my socks get sweaty and I can smell that, but most of the time my clothes smell fine. I have chronic depression and have been suicidal in the past. Being told I smell at the time is pushing me over the edge.

And before anybody tells me to move somewhere else, I can't afford that and lost my job recently. If I could live in my own apartment again, I would.

by Anonymousreply 101January 7, 2024 3:33 PM

OP, you're OK. You're doing all the right things. It sounds like it's her. I have no instant answer, but I am pretty sure you don 't really smell bad. Hang tough, man. I think you're OK.

by Anonymousreply 1January 5, 2024 11:02 PM

Contact Gypsy Rose. She's out of prison and probably has suggestions.

by Anonymousreply 2January 5, 2024 11:03 PM

Google: Vinegar & water douche Dear.

by Anonymousreply 3January 5, 2024 11:05 PM

Mother knows best.

by Anonymousreply 4January 5, 2024 11:06 PM

Tell her that her pussy stinks.

by Anonymousreply 5January 5, 2024 11:06 PM

OP = Cheryl

by Anonymousreply 6January 5, 2024 11:06 PM

It is probably a health issue. Can you see a primary care physician? It’s internal. The ammonia smell to your breath is a clue it’s health related not hygiene.

by Anonymousreply 7January 5, 2024 11:08 PM

r7 what kind of health issue?

by Anonymousreply 8January 5, 2024 11:10 PM

OP your mother is a psycho bitch. Get out of there as soon as you can.

by Anonymousreply 9January 5, 2024 11:11 PM

The kind that makes you smell bad, r8.

by Anonymousreply 10January 5, 2024 11:12 PM

You adjust, OP. And EAT ME, R6!

by Anonymousreply 11January 5, 2024 11:13 PM

Maybe you have an underlying condition that causes you to smell and you should see a Doctor and ignore your mother.

by Anonymousreply 12January 5, 2024 11:14 PM

Please don’t come over to my house, op. I’ve got a nose like a fucking ant eater and can’t handle odors.

by Anonymousreply 13January 5, 2024 11:22 PM

OP, your mother sounds like a deeply insecure woman who makes herself feel powerful and important by putting people down. 2 things: 1. realize that if it wasn't how you smell, it would be something else she'd be harassing you about. The point is she has a psychological need to criticize and diminish people, so if you solved the body odor issue, she'd find something else to pick on you about. In other words, it's NOT about how you smell. It's about her need to put you down and criticize you. If she really cared and wanted to help you, she'd handle the issue with sensitivity.

2nd: Consult a doctor, and establish once and for all if you have any issue with body odor at all or if it's just your mothers bullshit. Lastly, get some psychological help, being raised by someone with so little empathy is scarring. Get help now so you can have healthy relationships

One last thing: Your mother sounds like a typical Datalounger....So to her I say, Girl, your a bitch and need help

by Anonymousreply 14January 5, 2024 11:22 PM

Such a bad mom to let her adult son move back in with her when he can’t make it on his own.. And then he sounds like an uncaring bitch calling her nasty names behind her back on an anonymous forum. .

by Anonymousreply 15January 5, 2024 11:24 PM

I mean, you should at least investigate a bit further and see if she's right. A body odor problem could be caused by some medical issue that hygiene isn't going to fix. Consider the possibility that she isn't trying to bully you and is just telling the truth.

by Anonymousreply 16January 5, 2024 11:29 PM

Bathe in cologne. How do you like that now, Ma, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT NOW!!!

by Anonymousreply 17January 5, 2024 11:30 PM

Your mom sounds like a royal bitch. Having said that, I can tell you that I have always been aware that men have a certain smell about them that is off putting, to say the least. I grew up with two younger brothers and there were times I couldn't even be in the same room with them because they smelled musty and like urine most of the time.

Maybe your mom has a heightened sense of pheromone detection. I am willing to bet that most men smell bad to her. For me, it was one way I knew I was a lesbian. Perhaps your mom is too but has never admitted it to herself. When I was working in an office, the men there all smelled like piss and B.O. to me. One day, I even asked a female co-worker if I was crazy. She said she could kind of smell it, but it wasn't as off putting to her as it was to me, but she's straight.

I think you probably don't smell to people who aren't sensitive to pheromones.

by Anonymousreply 18January 5, 2024 11:31 PM

Ammonia breath:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 19January 5, 2024 11:36 PM

These are the kind of mothers you’re relieved when they die.

by Anonymousreply 20January 5, 2024 11:38 PM

[quote]My mother keeps telling me I smell bad, but I can't smell it.

Smell harder.

by Anonymousreply 21January 5, 2024 11:39 PM

Maybe your mother is the one who smells and she's trying to deflect the issue to you.

by Anonymousreply 22January 5, 2024 11:43 PM

^^...besides, you don't smell. She's says the things she does to keep herself in power and control. Unfortunately, she's mean toward the neighbors (but doesn't say anything to them), but she does say mean things to you because she can. She's mean.

Tell her to knock it off--you've had enough! As two adults living under one roof, she needs to treat both of you as equals. She needs to follow the golden rule: "Do onto others as you would have them do unto you."

by Anonymousreply 23January 5, 2024 11:47 PM

Get your ass to the doctor. They have medicine that can help you, bitch!

by Anonymousreply 24January 5, 2024 11:50 PM

OP, she's projecting. I read a similar story like this in a book about toxic parents. A man used to tell his daughter the same thing. The poor girl grew up with a complex about it. After successful therapy, the girl discovered that her father said those things to her to repress his desire to have sex with her. He told her those things because of what was going on in his head. I don't know what your mother's motivation is, but it's soul-crushing and please know that it has nothing at all to do with you.

by Anonymousreply 25January 5, 2024 11:55 PM

There is such a thing as old people smell. It becomes a smelly lipid from your skin that cannot be washed off.

by Anonymousreply 26January 5, 2024 11:59 PM

OP Go to 2:25 on the clip for advice

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 27January 6, 2024 12:01 AM

Duh my mom tells me I stink on her couch. My breath smells like toxic waste. I won’t go to the doctor. I’ll just post on the DL and be a total slob. Duh…..

-Op

by Anonymousreply 28January 6, 2024 12:02 AM

Ask a good friend if you smell. Or a sibling if you have one. Maybe a trusted relative.

by Anonymousreply 29January 6, 2024 12:07 AM

I’d love to hear Mrs Patsy Ramsey, formely of Boulder, Colorado, thoughts on this.

by Anonymousreply 30January 6, 2024 12:07 AM

R29 has piss poor reading comprehension

by Anonymousreply 31January 6, 2024 12:13 AM

Too bad your mom isn't rich 'cause if she was I would turn her out and into my sugar momma! I love cuntz!! But to be honest r25 is probably spot on. But seriously stop with the mouthwash every hour! I know of a man that was so anal about mouth hygiene he gave himself a mouth fungus. All the good bacteria was gone from his mouth from mouth washing so much that a black fuzz grew on his tongue!!! Be safe op! if you go to the dentist and have no cavities your breath must be fine.

by Anonymousreply 32January 6, 2024 12:20 AM

Start telling your mother that she smells like urine. Practically all women over the age of 65 who are mothers have bladder control issues and she probably does leak a little when she laughs or sneezes.

by Anonymousreply 33January 6, 2024 12:27 AM

R1 is very sweet and right. Sorry for your troubles OP

by Anonymousreply 34January 6, 2024 12:29 AM

R2. Will Gypsy Rose become DL’s equivalent of Mrs. Patsy Ramsey for disaffected off-spring?

by Anonymousreply 35January 6, 2024 12:30 AM

OP, a boy's best friend is his mother.

by Anonymousreply 36January 6, 2024 12:31 AM

Use a tongue scraper.

by Anonymousreply 37January 6, 2024 12:44 AM

The key is has ANYONE else ever told you that? boyfriend? sex partner? coworker? If the answer is yes, than yes you smell bad.

by Anonymousreply 38January 6, 2024 12:46 AM

Do people frequently offer you a mint?

Wink, wink, you have bad breath.

by Anonymousreply 39January 6, 2024 12:47 AM

This thread will end in tears OP. I hope you can figure out your situation, though.

by Anonymousreply 40January 6, 2024 12:49 AM

My late brother who was a mean, unhinged asshole, used to pull this routine on my mother, a very nice woman. In his late adolescence and early adulthood, he would sniff dramatically every time he walked by my mother and say, "What is that disgusting smell." My mother took a shower every day, and did not smell like anything other than White Diamonds, or Chanel No. 5 if she was going out.

Your mother is an unhinged bitch. I know you're in a situation now where you feel you need to stay there, but here's hoping you get out ASAP. Living in a windowless closet would be preferable to letting her tear you down every day.

If you really had an issue with BO, someone along the way would've mentioned it other than just her. It's HER that's the problem, not you.

by Anonymousreply 41January 6, 2024 12:51 AM

OP, I'm assuming you are grown man. Just tell your mother that you are tired of her saying this and that it's hurtful and isn't true. Tell her you appreciate her letting you stay there, but if your aroma is bothering her so much, you will have to make other arrangements.

Go rent a room from someone. There are a lot of people who need roommates right now. You have options. Personally, I wouldn't put up with this crap from anyone as an adult, including your mom. Tell her perhaps it is she who has an issue with her olfactory glands and that she should see a doctor about it before it destroys your relationship with her.

by Anonymousreply 42January 6, 2024 1:01 AM

Pointing out faults in others that don't s fully exist is a form of control and trying to bring the person down so the bully can feel themselves less of a loser

by Anonymousreply 43January 6, 2024 1:04 AM

OP are you British?

by Anonymousreply 44January 6, 2024 1:06 AM

Have ugly Jess and fat Maria beat her up.

by Anonymousreply 45January 6, 2024 1:06 AM

[quote] My late brother who was a mean, unhinged asshole, used to pull this routine on my mother

So you killed him?!?!

by Anonymousreply 46January 6, 2024 1:10 AM

R46 Yes

by Anonymousreply 47January 6, 2024 1:41 AM

My mom used to be the exact same way. Probably still is, but I wouldn’t know.

by Anonymousreply 48January 6, 2024 1:52 AM

Donald Trump asks for advice on the datalounge?

by Anonymousreply 49January 6, 2024 1:54 AM

Maybe it’s her upper lip.

Also, if you really want to make sure it’s not you, get some Lume or that persimmon soap that basically kills lipid body odor.

by Anonymousreply 50January 6, 2024 2:20 AM

When she tells you you smell like ammonia, tell her you had your way with Mr. Clean.

by Anonymousreply 51January 6, 2024 2:40 AM

OP, the Universe is trying to tell you that you shouldn't be living with your mother. Heed its advice, whatever it takes.

by Anonymousreply 52January 6, 2024 2:54 AM

OP - is your biological father still alive, and if so, is he still in the house too? Or is it possible they had an acrimonious separation/divorce? What is/was their relationship (whether they are together or not)?

It's quite possible she's transferring any resentment or hatred/residual feelings that she had/has for your bio-father. You're now the target and the way for her to unload and vent her pent-up feelings since she's unable to do that with your bio-father. And there's also the added bonus that if she DOES hate your father in some way, you may actually share the same kind of smell/pheremones that he has/had and it triggers her unresolved feelings over and over again.

Or not. Just some thoughts/theories.

by Anonymousreply 53January 6, 2024 2:58 AM

OP 👃 🫘 💨

by Anonymousreply 54January 6, 2024 3:00 AM

r53 They still live together but they're always arguing and accusing each other of cheating, of being cheapskates (they've always been like that)

by Anonymousreply 55January 6, 2024 3:01 AM

A skunk can't smell its own hole!

by Anonymousreply 56January 6, 2024 3:05 AM

Funny, r56. My father used to say, "A skunk smells his own hole first!"

by Anonymousreply 57January 6, 2024 3:35 AM

R53, that’s very interesting.

by Anonymousreply 58January 6, 2024 3:38 AM

You stink; your mom smells.

by Anonymousreply 59January 6, 2024 3:41 AM

I’m sorry to hear this OP. Sending you love.

by Anonymousreply 60January 6, 2024 3:54 AM

U stink but I ♥️ U

by Anonymousreply 61January 6, 2024 5:36 AM

Your mom sounds like a bitch and she enjoys being one too. With people like that you have to give them a taste of their own medicine. When she insults you, insult her back. If she yells at you, yell back twice as loud.

Fight fire with fire. She'll back down.

by Anonymousreply 62January 6, 2024 6:03 AM

You smell cute. I like insecure guys.

by Anonymousreply 63January 6, 2024 6:05 AM

Perhaps, r62. Or perhaps we'll see another interesting new story on Dateline NBC.

OP needs to find other accommodations and stop being subjected to Mom's emotional abuse over her unsolved issues which she's likely projecting onto him.

by Anonymousreply 64January 6, 2024 6:07 AM

Op your mother is just a cunt. I’m sorry.

by Anonymousreply 65January 6, 2024 6:32 AM

Kick her in the cunt bone.

by Anonymousreply 66January 6, 2024 6:51 AM

It would only hurt my feelings to be called a fat-ass if my ass were indeed fat. It isn't, so sticks and stones man. As long as you are secure in the knowledge that you are daisy-fresh and hygienic, your mom's carping is baseless. You might mention to her that smelling things no one else does is a sign of possible brain tumors, and offer her a ride to go get checked out? Maybe lower the passenger side window.

by Anonymousreply 67January 6, 2024 6:58 AM

What is this hole that the skunk supposedly has? Never heard that expression.

by Anonymousreply 68January 6, 2024 6:59 AM

OP, you stanky.

by Anonymousreply 69January 6, 2024 8:00 AM

Listen to your mother, OP. She very familiar with the smell coming from your mouth. It’s the same one she smelled when sucking your dad’s cock all those years ago………which I am sure you know as well.

by Anonymousreply 70January 6, 2024 8:15 AM

Get someone to post a fake scientific article about how some women, when feeling a forbidden but overpowering sexual urge, convince themselves that their object of lust has an unpleasant smell. That should shut her up.... or get you laid.

by Anonymousreply 71January 6, 2024 8:24 AM

Ammonia smelling breath can indicate some health issues, as said previously. Specifically:

Causes of ammonia breath include:

Heavy alcohol use.

Eating too much protein.

Urinary tract infections (UTls)

Urinary blockages.

Dehydration.

Sinus infections.

H. pylori bacterial infections.

Check into these before but also Lume your asshole, folds, everywhere. Shower and do it every day before you spend time with her. Also, if none of your friends or associates have said anything or shown any weird behavior then...It may be your Mom is an actual psycho bitch.

If she complains, it's her. It's her problem. It may not be your body, but just your body phernomes. Moving out after your investigation rules all these scenarios out seems your best choice.

All in all, I'm sorry for your relationship with your mom. She doesn't seem very maternal or particularly caring, so I'm sorry for that for you.

I hope you realize you're worthwhile as a person, despite her opinions or treatment of you. You're important.

by Anonymousreply 72January 6, 2024 8:25 AM

Do you think your smell is why you have ended up with no other place to live and not the kind of job that could lead to having an apt of your own?

Or are there other reason?

by Anonymousreply 73January 6, 2024 11:24 AM

I need some advice

I have a grown son. Not a mature son but one of age. He has been such a disappointment although I love him dearly.

He would not listen to me and study hard so he could have a good degree and job. He refused to do any kind of work that would lead to a career. Something about intrusive drug tests. He never learned a trade. The poor dear seems to have no future.

My neighbors seem to have a different sort of child. One retired from the USAF after 20 years. One is a teacher. Another became a plumber.

Mine was far too busy sucking and fucking and meeting hew friends at the rest stop to do that kind of shit..

Now the poor dear has moved back in with us. It’s been terrible. Nothing but fights and him complaining about me.

I so wish he had at least one friend that could take him in. The truth is besides being lazy he smells. And not in a good way.

Any suggestions?

Maybe R72 has an extra room to,offer?

by Anonymousreply 74January 6, 2024 12:16 PM

Call her Cheryl and tell her her pussy smells bad.

by Anonymousreply 75January 6, 2024 12:51 PM

OP = Jean Harlow’s urine breath.

by Anonymousreply 76January 6, 2024 12:52 PM

r76 - older than methusla

by Anonymousreply 77January 6, 2024 12:56 PM

Can someone succinctly provide me the backstory on Cheryl? I've seen her referenced many time and need to know what I'm missing out on. Please and thank you.

OP, your mom is a nasty bitch and will never change. Take the bull by the horns and do what you need to do to get out of that environment.

by Anonymousreply 78January 6, 2024 1:14 PM

Cheryl is Muriel's hairdresser.

by Anonymousreply 79January 6, 2024 7:48 PM

OP-- The only thing I think of to advise here is: ask her what she would advise you to do. So then when you do it, and she still has issues with it ---- it's on HER! Just keep your chin up. You know you don't smell bad and you're doing the best you can man. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Parent's are supposed to be supportive, not rip us apart. Be well and I'll be thinking of you.

by Anonymousreply 80January 6, 2024 8:31 PM

I wanna fuck this stanky boy.

by Anonymousreply 81January 6, 2024 8:32 PM

Does that Lume shit really work? Asking for a friend.

by Anonymousreply 82January 6, 2024 8:47 PM

Do whatever you can to get into a non toxic living situation ASAP.

by Anonymousreply 83January 6, 2024 8:57 PM

R83

The OP is there until his parents die. Then the OP will have found a way to get a house like he always wanted. He is not going anywhere.

by Anonymousreply 84January 6, 2024 9:02 PM

You may have a condition, but your mom also has done a number on you. Seek therapy or at least a Reddit group. Ask your dad what her issue is with you. She is either a deeply unhappy or malicious woman.

Also using mouthwash every hour is not good for you. Check if you have tonsil stones. You can sometimes remove them yourself.

by Anonymousreply 85January 6, 2024 9:16 PM

Get a deep teeth cleaning and ask the dentist if they detect any odor. You could have a gum infection that is treatable with mouthwash and/or antibiotics. If you have no $ for this, check a dental school for cheap treatments.

As for your mom. She may not approve of something else about you and so choses to pick on you.

Or again, she is just miserable, hence beating up on others. Tell her she might not be so bitchy if she got some antidepressants.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 86January 6, 2024 9:22 PM

Sharing one's shit anonymously inevitably means tossing it at others, who are left with it, while actually never lessening the weight of what one carries.

Right, OP? Or is that a fresh context for you?

by Anonymousreply 87January 6, 2024 9:29 PM

If it’s any consolation, I knew a someone who hated how their spouse smelled, to the point of sharing it, and it did not go over well.

I was given something from their house and it had such a weird smell to it I had to get rid of it. Maybe there is something in your parents’ house that sticks: mothballs, mold etc.

by Anonymousreply 88January 6, 2024 9:33 PM

stinks not sticks👆

by Anonymousreply 89January 6, 2024 9:34 PM

Put her in a closet with Trump for 5 minutes.

by Anonymousreply 90January 7, 2024 2:08 AM

Maybe you should call Bambi, remote HR. They are good with how to tell people they smell bad, all the time.

by Anonymousreply 91January 7, 2024 9:21 AM

People really need to grow up and learn how to handle unruly parents. If as a person they are blatantly disrespecting you, you are in your right to handle them as you would any other disrespectful adult. You don't need to use kid gloves. Sometimes they need to know about themselves, then you go back to loving them as your parents. I did this with my mom over certain issues, now she knows not to bring it up and our relationship is better for it.

by Anonymousreply 92January 7, 2024 10:47 AM

I don’t believe you Op. The into was a crazy rant. On & on…. I’m team mother - she’s depressed her child never took flight & sad her child has mental issues.. She’s sad her end years are stuck parenting an adult that is so off - they smell.

by Anonymousreply 93January 7, 2024 11:10 AM

r87 provided a pun filled reply

by Anonymousreply 94January 7, 2024 11:18 AM

I have now and then wondered why bad people never start threads like this oh I have been done bad threads

. It’s always every time the good people that do so. It’s never the lazy, the thief , the bad employees, the bad bosses, the bad parents or sons. It’s never the abusers.

It’s always the good people, the abused, the victims.

You might think there might be two sides to every story but not on the Internet.

I wonder where the bad people share their stories of them being bad sons

by Anonymousreply 95January 7, 2024 11:41 AM

R94 confuses an extended metaphor with "puns."

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 96January 7, 2024 2:05 PM

OP this is going to kill you inside. You need to move out, one way or the other. Find a room mate. I have a school friend who had smelly feet and it was absolutely nauseating. He definitely has an olfactory blind spot there, so something like that exists. Go to a family doctor and ask him (or her) if you stink. This includes feet, socks, axil etc. If he says no, then you don't, and it's your mum's charming way of saying hat she wants you out. Do her the favour before we have a new family drama to discuss here.

by Anonymousreply 97January 7, 2024 2:12 PM

OP said that he has asked other people if he smells and they say he doesn't. It is only this mother who also refers to other people in derogatory ways.

Only way out of this is either to be able to tune it out zen-like, or move out, just get a room in a house and any job.

by Anonymousreply 98January 7, 2024 2:15 PM

[quote]I wonder where the bad people share their stories of them being bad sons

Sometimes you have to read in between the lines. In this case, he's a loser who is freeloading off his parents as an adult instead of getting any job and a basic room somewhere.

by Anonymousreply 99January 7, 2024 2:18 PM

[quote] I read a similar story like this in a book about toxic parents. A man used to tell his daughter the same thing. The poor girl grew up with a complex about it. After successful therapy, the girl discovered that her father said those things to her to repress his desire to have sex with her.

How would she “discover” this? So before therapy her problem was that her dad criticized her for smelling and after therapy she understood her dad wanted to fuck her? That’s successful?

by Anonymousreply 100January 7, 2024 2:37 PM

R100

Yes it was successful. And it was in a book so no throwing shade please.

The poor girl went thru life thinking she stank. Now after successful therapy she realizes all those who look down on her for something really want to fuck her.

Therapy took her from stinky to fuckable hot.

by Anonymousreply 101January 7, 2024 3:33 PM
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