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Let's be Kiefer Sutherland and Robert Downey Jr's apartment that they shared in the 1980s!

I'm an old gym sock stiffened with Judd Nelson's cum.

by Anonymousreply 256February 24, 2024 3:11 PM

I'm Anthony Michael Hall's retainer.

by Anonymousreply 1December 26, 2023 6:13 AM

I am the tattered remains of Molly Ringwald's virginity.

by Anonymousreply 2December 26, 2023 6:14 AM

I'm a random nipple clamp.

by Anonymousreply 3December 26, 2023 6:15 AM

I am a bemused expression on the face of Jennifer Connelly.

by Anonymousreply 4December 26, 2023 6:16 AM

I am a cubic quarter acre of parking tickets.

by Anonymousreply 5December 26, 2023 6:17 AM

I'm the dual nervous breakdown.

by Anonymousreply 6December 26, 2023 6:20 AM

I'm Winona Ryder, here to read my lines and blow a few of theirs.

by Anonymousreply 7December 26, 2023 6:24 AM

I'm the disheveled confusion of the day they wake up with each other's cocks in their mouths.

by Anonymousreply 8December 26, 2023 6:57 AM

I m the binoculars of the pervert across the street.

I have scorch marks.

by Anonymousreply 9December 26, 2023 7:09 AM

I am the 1968 Ferrari.

Being repossessed.

Again.

by Anonymousreply 10December 26, 2023 7:12 AM

I am Patrick Dempsey, stark naked in the hot tub.

I am also the fact that no one cares.

by Anonymousreply 11December 26, 2023 7:13 AM

I’m the quaaludes.

by Anonymousreply 12December 26, 2023 9:22 AM

I'm the fateful night a drunk Kiefer made a pass at a stoned RDJ, causing the latter to exit this domestic arrangement at roughly the speed of sound.

by Anonymousreply 13December 26, 2023 5:25 PM

R8, otherwise known as "Tuesday".

by Anonymousreply 14December 26, 2023 5:44 PM

I'm RDJ's jaw, sore from another night of blowing everyone.

by Anonymousreply 15December 26, 2023 5:48 PM

I'm Robert Rusler, wondering if they wouldn't like to make it three.

by Anonymousreply 16December 26, 2023 5:51 PM

Must we take another trip to Fantasy Land, OP??

by Anonymousreply 17December 26, 2023 5:52 PM

R17, Sutherland and Downey lived together for a two-year period when they were both starting out in the mid-80s.

Obviously the contents of this thread are fiction.

Do you know how this works?

by Anonymousreply 18December 26, 2023 5:55 PM

I’m the three dozen bent and burnt spoons “hidden” on top of the refrigerator.

by Anonymousreply 19December 26, 2023 6:01 PM

I’m the Map of the Stars and in the future I will send countless thousands of tourists to this very spot, where they will find absolutely nothing to do but take selfies and desperately hope to at least come across a taco truck soon.

by Anonymousreply 20December 26, 2023 6:04 PM

I am the television that is on 24/7.

by Anonymousreply 21December 26, 2023 6:12 PM

I'm Jason Patric. I don't mind Kiefer's drunken passes.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 22December 27, 2023 4:28 AM

I am Sarah Jessica Parker, gritting my teeth as I once again wash the dishes piled high in the sink.

by Anonymousreply 23December 27, 2023 4:34 AM

I'm Donald Sutherland, dropping by for a visit and once again failing to suggest Kiefer maybe take up law school.

by Anonymousreply 24December 27, 2023 4:36 AM

I'm Robert Downey Sr. not dropping by for a visit because I'm too busy making an unfunny pretentious pile of shit "social satire" that has all the grace and timing of an earthquake at the sledgehammer factory.

Robert! Get your useless ass over here! I need you to lick a dead midget!

by Anonymousreply 25December 27, 2023 4:41 AM

I am DADDY ISSUES.

by Anonymousreply 26December 27, 2023 4:58 AM

I'm Corey Haim.

Wow...this place is cool.

by Anonymousreply 27December 27, 2023 5:25 AM

I'm Corey Feldman.

Haim, you should check out my sick pad. These two are losers!

by Anonymousreply 28December 27, 2023 5:27 AM

I'm the sound of Kiefer yelling "Robert, can you stop playing Ravel's Bolero on your fucking ukulele? It's three in the fucking morning!"

by Anonymousreply 29December 27, 2023 5:29 AM

I am Charlie Sheen!!

Robert, got any drugs? Kiefer, got any drugs? Molly, do you have drugs? Jennifer? Sarah? Judd? Russler?

Shit! Why do you fucking bitches never have any drugs?

by Anonymousreply 30December 27, 2023 6:16 AM

We are Cary Grant and Randolph Scott.

We brought a similar arrangement off which much greater élan.

And more fucking, of course.

by Anonymousreply 31December 27, 2023 6:17 AM

I'm Keanu Reeves, passed out on the sofa for the fifth consecutive night.

by Anonymousreply 32December 27, 2023 6:27 AM

I'm James Spader, drunk-dialing a pizza order in my tightie-whities.

by Anonymousreply 33December 27, 2023 6:29 AM

I'm Julia Roberts, skulking around the trash cans and wondering which one of these two morons will do more for my nascent career.

by Anonymousreply 34December 27, 2023 8:37 PM

I'm the realization that this wouldn't make a bad R-rated version of Ernie & Bert.

by Anonymousreply 35December 27, 2023 8:43 PM

I’m the deadbolt on the front door. If you take me apart, I bet you’ll find a full gram of cocaine inside from all the leftovers clinging to their house keys.

by Anonymousreply 36December 27, 2023 8:45 PM

Or chuck in Spader and Reeves for the West Hollywood version of The Young Ones.

Downey as Mike

Spader as Rick

Sutherland as Vivian

Reeves as the hippie

by Anonymousreply 37December 27, 2023 8:47 PM

I'm the occasional dude that Kiefer flip flopped fucked with after a 3 day bender at the Chateau Marmont

by Anonymousreply 38December 27, 2023 8:49 PM

I'm the crinkled pack of Parliaments next to a highball glass full of floating butts.

by Anonymousreply 39December 27, 2023 8:54 PM

I'm the continual fight over the last disposable lighter.

by Anonymousreply 40December 27, 2023 8:55 PM

I'm the panties draped over a lampshade.

by Anonymousreply 41December 27, 2023 8:59 PM

I am the contents of the fridge.

Yesterdays pizza

Last week's pizza

Last month's pizza

A moldering half-pound of goat cheese Sutherland drunkenly stole from a cocktail party thrown by Joel Schumacher

An empty quart container of skim milk

A kale salad Robert's mother dropped off, which is now the consistency of White House spinach

Darryl Hannah's favorite dildo

Half a pack of Oscar Meyer weenies, which are now the consistency of the dildo

by Anonymousreply 42December 27, 2023 9:00 PM

R41, Downey's or Kiefer's?

by Anonymousreply 43December 27, 2023 9:01 PM

Neither, R43.

Mine.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 44December 27, 2023 10:44 PM

I'm the album cover for REM's Life's Rich Pageant. During dry periods, I am shaken ragefully over a mirror in hopes of producing some tiny powder residue.

by Anonymousreply 45December 28, 2023 12:58 AM

I'm the amazing fact that these two deranged drug addicts somehow lived together without one beating the ever-loving shit out of the other.

by Anonymousreply 46December 28, 2023 5:48 AM

I'm Downey's closet, crammed with couture suits and shirts every time he gets a paycheck. Barely any room for him anymore!

by Anonymousreply 47December 28, 2023 5:50 AM

I'm Andrew McCarthy, still occasionally waking up screaming in horror.

by Anonymousreply 48December 28, 2023 5:53 AM

I'm James Toback, halfway through the catflap.

by Anonymousreply 49December 28, 2023 6:15 AM

I'm the enormous sack in Toback's hand.

by Anonymousreply 50December 28, 2023 7:20 AM

I'm Johnny Depp, stopping by for a glass of red wine and rolling my eyes as I leave.

Christ, what a pair of losers. They'll never amount to anything.

by Anonymousreply 51December 28, 2023 7:45 AM

I’m the cigarette burned lounge next to the vintage pedestal ashtray oh, and the coffee table with assorted coke stained mirrors and a flame thrower lighter next to Vanity Fair magazine on young Hollywood.

by Anonymousreply 52December 28, 2023 9:05 AM

I'm the curling iron next to a bottle of Aqua Net.

by Anonymousreply 53December 28, 2023 9:11 AM

I'm Robert wishing I had said yes to Kiefer while being pounded into a prison mattress by Tyrone.

by Anonymousreply 54December 28, 2023 10:31 PM

I'm the heroin that Julia keeps bugging Kiefer for. "Damnit Kiefer, get rid of her," says Bobby. "That's OURS. Let's hook her up with Jas and let her be HIS problem."

by Anonymousreply 55December 28, 2023 10:43 PM

I'm Bret Easton Ellis, taking notes whenever I'm not trying to casually initiate a three-way.

by Anonymousreply 56December 28, 2023 11:20 PM

I'm the good coke the boys put away when Bret literally comes sniffing around.

by Anonymousreply 57December 28, 2023 11:25 PM

I'm the writer for Interview Magazine, here to interview two top thespians of Hollywood's who's-who of hunkdom. I have dallied my way here from my hotel suite where I sweetly stay whenever my position as a top writer bids me hither to the heather and dither of tinsel town's ups and downs, its ins and outs, its shouts and murmurs, its tremors and memoirs. Well I remember the first time I interviewed someone, brilliantly, with a brilliance that I will fitfully bring to oh my GOD.

Well, hello, there. Which one are you?

Oh, I never knock. I like to find my subjects in their, shall we say, natural state.

Wouldn't you be more comfortable without that towel?

by Anonymousreply 58December 29, 2023 2:53 AM

It wasn't funny the hundredth time, Sessums hatesquad. We get it: he's pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 59December 29, 2023 2:56 AM

I'm the Rob Lowe/Robert Rusler sex tape labeled "What's Up, Doc?" on the cassette.

SJP finds me and squeals "I love Babs!"

Hilarity ensues.

by Anonymousreply 60December 29, 2023 4:38 PM

I'm the Pornhub/OnlyfFans channel this situation would surely be if taking place today.

by Anonymousreply 61December 29, 2023 4:42 PM

I'm the smell.

That coke-sweat bong-water funky-ass armpit favorite-sock three-pack-a-day spilled-bourbon tears-saturated-pillow Obsession-for-Men smell.

Share the Fantasy

by Anonymousreply 62December 29, 2023 4:45 PM

I'm the empty bottles of Malibu Rum and Jack Daniels that line the top of the kitchen cabinets

by Anonymousreply 63December 29, 2023 4:54 PM

I'm the complimentary RayBans

by Anonymousreply 64December 29, 2023 6:37 PM

"Free with every circle jerk!"

by Anonymousreply 65December 29, 2023 7:00 PM

I'm the casual nudity.

by Anonymousreply 66December 29, 2023 7:09 PM

I'm the ghost-white complexions.

Those two fuckers used to glow in the dark

by Anonymousreply 67December 29, 2023 8:17 PM

Considering their family backgrounds I'm sure the place had daily housekeeping and drug cleaning. These two were spoiled rotten.

by Anonymousreply 68December 29, 2023 11:49 PM

Actually Robert had a rough childhood. His dad got him involved in drugs at age 6 and really didn't seem to give a shit if his son lived or died. I watched an interview where Robert Sr. was asked if he ever feared for his son's life when he hit rock bottom. He just shrugged and said "I suppose those things happen." RDJ was next to him and looked absolutely devastated.

by Anonymousreply 69December 29, 2023 11:54 PM

Yeah, can't speak to Sutherland but RDJ was absolutely not a spoiled kid.

by Anonymousreply 70December 30, 2023 1:49 AM

I thought Sutherland didn't know his dad until adulthood? I remember him talking about sleeping in his car the first three months he was in LA.

by Anonymousreply 71December 30, 2023 1:51 AM

Kiefer's parents divorced in 1970 and he moved to Toronto with his mother.

by Anonymousreply 72December 30, 2023 4:22 AM

Yeah, I think he didn't really speak to his dad until he was in his late teens.

"Being spoiled" was not the problem.

R26 was the fuckin' problem.

by Anonymousreply 73December 30, 2023 5:46 AM

I'd have gotten fucked up too back then if someone put millions of dollars in my hand.

by Anonymousreply 74December 30, 2023 5:50 AM

I am the sofa. I smell like cum and shit and vomit. Currently, Kiefer is on one side nodding off with a needle in his arm and a lit cigarette in his mouth and Robert is on the other doing the exact same thing.

by Anonymousreply 75December 30, 2023 7:33 AM

I'm the crying jags.

by Anonymousreply 76December 30, 2023 6:11 PM

I'm Jami Gertz, pointedly refusing a seat on the aforementioned sofa with a disdainful "I'll just stand."

by Anonymousreply 77December 30, 2023 6:19 PM

I'm Pauly Shore, trying to befriend both of them. Or either one of them. Or anybody else, really.

by Anonymousreply 78December 30, 2023 6:21 PM

I'm Bradley Gregg. WHET me?

by Anonymousreply 79December 30, 2023 6:23 PM

I'm Drew Barrymore with zero concerns about the sofa.

by Anonymousreply 80December 30, 2023 6:28 PM

I'm this conversation.

"Robert! Hey! Great to see you! And this must be Susan? You look great! Both of you! Yes. Yes! Yes, this is my...date...Candy? Candy! She's...an interpretive dancer. Yes. Can I get you a drink--oh, no, well. No. Sorry, ha ha! Should we get a table together? You're already leaving? Oh, yeah. Kids. Yeah. Of course. Say, I'm sorry to hear about your father. Donald? Donald's fine. Still Donald. Hey, we should make a date - have me call your people? I mean, my people call your people, right? Ha ha! Wow. Can't believe how long it's been! Remember when we roomed together? Crazy times, right? Right? Remember that one night me and you and Judd and Jason all....right. Right. No. Yes. I understand. Right. Okay. See you later."

by Anonymousreply 81December 30, 2023 6:33 PM

I'm Matt Damon who traveled back 40 years to stick his head in the catflap and say "What a couple of fags!"

by Anonymousreply 82December 30, 2023 6:34 PM

R82, LOL

by Anonymousreply 83December 30, 2023 6:38 PM

R79, we realized you have no talent.

by Anonymousreply 84December 30, 2023 6:47 PM

I'm the fact that I'm not going to lie.

Back in 1985 I would have done anything to be the filling in a Kiefer Sutherland/Robert Downey Jr. sandwich.

Now, not so much, though I'd probably give RDJ a handjob (for old wanks' sake).

by Anonymousreply 85December 30, 2023 9:45 PM

In 2008, Kiefer bought four-story townhouse at 763 Greenwich Street in the West Village for $8.2 million. In 2012, he sold for $17.5 million. Was recently for sale.

by Anonymousreply 86December 30, 2023 9:52 PM

R85, Joel Schumacher!

How nice of you to stop by.

by Anonymousreply 87December 30, 2023 10:53 PM

I have a hard time believing RDJ turned Kiefer down considering his reputation as a pass around party bottom.

by Anonymousreply 88December 31, 2023 1:47 AM

If anything it would be the other way around. I've never heard any gay rumors about Kiefer.

by Anonymousreply 89December 31, 2023 1:55 AM

R89 Helen Keller!!!

You're alive!!!

by Anonymousreply 90December 31, 2023 2:37 AM

I'm the moving vans outside.

I'm Robert seated on the second-to-last of two chairs.

I'm Jennifer Connelly seated on the last of two chairs.

I'm the guitar Robert is playing.

And the song he is singing.

Just walk away Renee

You won't see me follow you back home

The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same

You're not to blame

by Anonymousreply 91December 31, 2023 3:42 AM

Man, all these hot guys in my generation took it up the as…?

Never mind.

by Anonymousreply 92December 31, 2023 5:21 AM

I'm Miss Christina.

Satisfaction oozes from my pores.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 93December 31, 2023 5:34 AM

Is Kiefer still a belligerent drunk?

by Anonymousreply 94December 31, 2023 10:15 PM

I'm the fact that where this subject is concerned 99% of you would give your eyeteeth for a time machine and an invisibility cloak.

by Anonymousreply 95January 1, 2024 3:01 AM

I might have to start a hunks of the 80s thread...

by Anonymousreply 96January 1, 2024 3:22 AM

I'm Tom Cruise. I will never be seen within ten miles of this place.

by Anonymousreply 97January 1, 2024 3:31 AM

That's okay Tammy! You're a complete disaster in bed anyway!

by Anonymousreply 98January 1, 2024 5:47 AM

Why are you looking at me, Tammy? I didn't say nuthin'!

by Anonymousreply 99January 1, 2024 8:39 PM

I'm Tim-o-tay and Tom Holland, shacking up in imitation.

Timmy warns Tommy not to slip on the kitchen floor he just spent *all* day waxing.

Tommy wants to know if Timmy has seen his favorite rubber duck for tubbie-time.

by Anonymousreply 100January 1, 2024 9:00 PM

I'm the Nagel print

by Anonymousreply 101January 1, 2024 9:01 PM

I'm the mix tapes

by Anonymousreply 102January 1, 2024 9:01 PM

I'm the chianti bottle with melted candle wax

by Anonymousreply 103January 1, 2024 9:03 PM

I'm the water stains and soap scum all over the bathroom counter

by Anonymousreply 104January 1, 2024 9:04 PM

I'm them dancing in their boxers to Durand Durand's Rio.

by Anonymousreply 105January 1, 2024 9:18 PM

What boxers? We do it in the raw!

by Anonymousreply 106January 1, 2024 9:21 PM

PANT PANT PANT PANT SPLOOGE

by Anonymousreply 107January 1, 2024 9:35 PM

I'm the answering machine with multiple unheard messages from John Hughes, drunk and babbling incoherently, crying pitifully, the blinking light obscured by dismembered scripts and take out burger wrappers

by Anonymousreply 108January 1, 2024 9:39 PM

I'm the jerk off competitions. Kiefer always wins and then calls Robert a fag.

by Anonymousreply 109January 1, 2024 10:23 PM

[quote]I’m the quaaludes.

Come sit here right next to me.

by Anonymousreply 110January 1, 2024 10:25 PM

R105 - DuranD DurnaD!?

by Anonymousreply 111January 1, 2024 10:29 PM

R111, yeah, off the Barbarella soundtrack. The beat is a bit middly but they really goof up the bridge.

by Anonymousreply 112January 1, 2024 10:30 PM

I'm John Hughes pounding on the door and screaming "I need Molly!"

The actress, not the drug, but I will accept the latter, I guess.

by Anonymousreply 113January 1, 2024 10:34 PM

I'm me, wondering just how close to reality this thread actually is.

by Anonymousreply 114January 2, 2024 12:22 AM

How much would you pay to know?

by Anonymousreply 115January 2, 2024 5:50 AM

I'm Alex Winter. Everyone says Keanu is the hot one but when I skip around this place barefoot in torn jeans and a midriff-baring cut-off you might have second opinions.

by Anonymousreply 116January 2, 2024 3:00 PM

I'm Samantha Mathis. I saw some wicked shit in this apartment, and some possible felonies.

But don't ask me to talk. I didn't see anything, and won't say anything for thirty years!

by Anonymousreply 117January 2, 2024 3:24 PM

Take it up with Depp, bitch!

by Anonymousreply 118January 2, 2024 3:35 PM

I am going to be more famous than all you shitstains!

by Anonymousreply 119January 2, 2024 3:48 PM

Hey Kief! Here are a couple of scrips you might like. Personally, I think they will never be made. One involves teen vampires. The other is about some kids trying to find a dead body. Hey, get this, that one is being directed by Meathead! Fucking shit crap these dicks are making today.

by Anonymousreply 120January 2, 2024 3:52 PM

Durand Durand?

by Anonymousreply 121January 2, 2024 4:35 PM

We heard you the first time, cunt!

by Anonymousreply 122January 2, 2024 6:52 PM

35 years later, fuck-all has changed.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 123January 2, 2024 6:53 PM

I'm the beer cans and water pipes covering the coffee tables. Robert calls his biggest bong Chief Wannadoobie.

by Anonymousreply 124January 2, 2024 7:44 PM

I'm Kelly Lebrock

You won't believe what those little maniacs did first.

by Anonymousreply 125January 2, 2024 9:36 PM

I swear on a stack of grandma's pancakes that neither I, nor Russler, nor Anthony, nor the 15-year-old dork, shit in your trailer, Kelly.

by Anonymousreply 126January 2, 2024 9:38 PM

Then who did?

by Anonymousreply 127January 2, 2024 9:38 PM

You have to ask?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 128January 2, 2024 9:40 PM

Hey Kelly! They're serving burritos at the craft service table today!

by Anonymousreply 129January 2, 2024 9:42 PM

I'm the fact that this would make a far better film than anything John Hughes came up with.

by Anonymousreply 130January 2, 2024 10:01 PM

I'm potential titles:

Sixteen Cokewhores

The Breakfast Chub

Pity You Stink

Feral Baller Jacks Off

Beard Science

by Anonymousreply 131January 2, 2024 10:03 PM

I’m the smell of beer. I’m in every room and I never go away.

by Anonymousreply 132January 2, 2024 10:05 PM

I'm the smell of fear. I'm also in every room and I never go away.

by Anonymousreply 133January 3, 2024 6:30 AM

I'm Kim Walker.

How do you boys feel about long-term relationships...and where do I put my croquet set?

by Anonymousreply 134January 3, 2024 6:46 AM

I'm Sarah Jessica Parker, watching RDJ skip around playing his banjo and retreating into the manly, emotionally mature embrace of, well, Matthew Broderick.

by Anonymousreply 135January 5, 2024 7:25 AM

I'm Sean Penn, refusing to be seen in the company of these two bozos.

by Anonymousreply 136January 5, 2024 7:25 AM

I'm Kiefer's breath, a whiff of which could power Elon Musk's next rocket to Mars.

by Anonymousreply 137January 5, 2024 7:27 AM

I'm Michael J. Fox, shaking my head.

by Anonymousreply 138January 5, 2024 7:58 AM

R138 OMG, you mean bitch. Bravo!

by Anonymousreply 139January 5, 2024 11:18 AM

R110, there's a low bar.

by Anonymousreply 140January 5, 2024 1:02 PM

I'm Ilan Mitchell-Smith.

Come on you guys, this isn't funny, let me out of the dishwasher.

by Anonymousreply 141January 5, 2024 2:11 PM

I'm the 1968 Ferrari reverse-launched through the plate glass window of a three-car garage.

by Anonymousreply 142January 5, 2024 2:12 PM

I'm the fact that these were possibly the two most versatile, fearless and unconventionally beautiful actors in Hollywood in the '80s and nobody knew what to do with either one of them.

Why couldn't we at least get A Midsummer Night's Dream with Sutherland as Oberon and Downey as Puck and both of them wearing nothing but body paint?

Or The Fall of the House of Usher with Kiefer as the narrator, Downey as Roderick and Jennifer Connelly or Mia Sara as Madeline?

Why?

by Anonymousreply 143January 5, 2024 10:10 PM

I'm Robert Rusler's sore asshole after getting a solid pounding by RDJ.

by Anonymousreply 144January 5, 2024 11:58 PM

This thread is bringing back so many memories of the 80s. I can almost smell the Brut aftershave and cigarette smoke.

by Anonymousreply 145January 5, 2024 11:59 PM

Robert couldn't top a sundae.

by Anonymousreply 146January 6, 2024 12:00 AM

True dat.

by Anonymousreply 147January 6, 2024 6:48 AM

Isn't Robert Rusler the one who claimed he couldn't get anywhere with RDJ, after numerous times when getting high and making out only led to RDJ falling asleep?

by Anonymousreply 148January 6, 2024 3:00 PM

R148, I don't know if that's 100% confirmed but it's an anecdote that's been shared here.

by Anonymousreply 149January 6, 2024 3:04 PM

RDJ said back in his thirties that he wasn't very sexually motivated in relationships.

I think as a young man he liked physical affection more than sex, in part because his parents weren't the hugging type.

by Anonymousreply 150January 6, 2024 3:41 PM

I’m Timothy Hutton, sinking from Oscar winner to trashy undies in this same span of years.

At least I got to fuck Daryl Hannah, Angelina Jolie, AND Demi Moore.

by Anonymousreply 151January 6, 2024 4:43 PM

Who didn't fuck Demi Moore?

by Anonymousreply 152January 6, 2024 5:36 PM

I bet Kiefer wanted that ass and RDJ got spooked.

by Anonymousreply 153January 6, 2024 5:45 PM

[quote]Who didn't fuck Demi Moore?

But Timothy Hutton had her in her prime!

by Anonymousreply 154January 6, 2024 6:09 PM

I'm Jodie Foster.

by Anonymousreply 155January 7, 2024 4:48 PM

R151, trashy undies? These are, like, Calvin Klein and shit!

by Anonymousreply 156January 7, 2024 4:49 PM

I'm the hole punched through the wall when Robby forgot to pick me up at The Hard Rock Cafe

by Anonymousreply 157January 7, 2024 4:57 PM

I'm Ally Sheedy.

Remember?

by Anonymousreply 158January 7, 2024 6:38 PM

Yeah, Ally, great to see you. Could you run out and get us more paper towels?

by Anonymousreply 159January 7, 2024 7:30 PM

Actually, we'll pay extra for Kleenex, it's starting to chafe!

by Anonymousreply 160January 7, 2024 10:58 PM

Which do you think has the biggest cock?

by Anonymousreply 161January 7, 2024 11:44 PM

RDJ has been frank about not having much of an endowment.

Which wouldn't put me off, then or now.

by Anonymousreply 162January 8, 2024 12:38 AM

Hey, Rusler! I hear you're not getting anywhere with Bobby! Maybe he needs a real man to show him how it's done!

by Anonymousreply 163January 8, 2024 12:42 AM

I'm Mark Patton, fresh off the gay-ass Elm Street Sequel and crawling up Rusler's leg.

by Anonymousreply 164January 8, 2024 12:53 AM

Speaking of which, I'm Heather Langenkamp, wondering if you boys wouldn't mind just sort of watching me while I sleep.

by Anonymousreply 165January 8, 2024 12:54 AM

I'm Mare Winningham, waiting in the parking lot.

C'mon, you guys, Marie Callender's won't hold our reservation all night!

by Anonymousreply 166January 8, 2024 2:57 PM

I'm Goat Boy. I'm RDJ's sober persona.

by Anonymousreply 167January 8, 2024 3:26 PM

I'm Kiefer's promise to himself in the darkness of a 3 AM pot-binge that as Robbie's obviously not going to make it out of his 20s - hell, he might not make it to 9:20 - when I win my third Golden Globes Award I'll leave it for him wherever his parents (actually forgot to) scatter his ashes.

by Anonymousreply 168January 8, 2024 3:55 PM

Ah, Jennifer Connelly! Yes, I am the Goblin King. I stole your two little brothers. At least I thought they were your little brothers. I'm giving them back, they made a mess out of my throne room and smoked my stash. And the dark-haired one won't stop playing the zither.

by Anonymousreply 169January 8, 2024 3:59 PM

And of course I didn't rape them! If anything, THEY tried to rape ME!

by Anonymousreply 170January 8, 2024 6:34 PM

I'm Winona Ryder, sneaking a bong and a bag of coke into my purse when they're not looking. Hell, I'll take an ashtray or two while I'm at it.

by Anonymousreply 171January 8, 2024 6:41 PM

I'm Phoebe Cates.

Which one of you bitches is my brother?

by Anonymousreply 172January 8, 2024 10:14 PM

I'm Wil Wheaton.

So THIS is what success looks like!!

by Anonymousreply 173January 11, 2024 3:57 AM

Hey, Wil do you like gladiator movies?

by Anonymousreply 174January 11, 2024 4:00 AM

Wil, which cast “member” had the biggest unit?

And did they fir in your fine, tight ass?

by Anonymousreply 175January 11, 2024 4:04 AM

RDJ was an easy fuck…no mutual JO-prequel, just his ass was in the air before you could bark BITCH!

by Anonymousreply 176January 11, 2024 4:09 AM

How was RDJ Jr on Kimmel last night?

by Anonymousreply 177January 11, 2024 5:12 PM

I assume Kimmel invited him?

by Anonymousreply 178January 11, 2024 9:11 PM

I'm the unexpected nostalgia.

by Anonymousreply 179January 14, 2024 2:55 AM

I'm Kiefer sitting at the bar with my pants down. Back off homos! Can't a straight guy drink in peace?

by Anonymousreply 180January 14, 2024 3:15 AM

I'm the fact that there is no contemporary collection of beautiful boys to match the pack satirized in this thread.

Or girls, for that matter.

by Anonymousreply 181January 14, 2024 5:00 AM

Just look at the uggoes who clog up our DL feed. Chalamet, Barry Keoghan, Paul Mescal...Hideous one and all.

by Anonymousreply 182January 14, 2024 8:48 PM

R182, I realize that the passing of time lends glamour, but I do believe that the boys of the 80s were a special class. The ones from the 70s were fug and the 90s were completely boring.

by Anonymousreply 183January 14, 2024 9:52 PM

Enjoy this Hunks of the 80s thread!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 184January 14, 2024 9:55 PM

Those 80s fellas seem like they'd be totally willing to get high and swap blowjobs.

by Anonymousreply 185January 14, 2024 9:56 PM

Three things made the 80s boys stand out.

They were a blend of masculine and feminine that was new.

They had the charisma borne of a blend of narcissism and ambition.

They were genuinely bad boys on and off screen. Imagine Tom Holland having a sex tape leaked.

by Anonymousreply 186January 14, 2024 10:16 PM

I'm the beads of sweat on RDJ's forehead and upper lip.

by Anonymousreply 187January 14, 2024 10:53 PM

[quote]They were genuinely bad boys on and off screen.

Gen X were the last generation who were party animal sex fiends. SO glad I was young then and got to enjoy it, compared to the younger generations now who are so humorless and prudish.

by Anonymousreply 188January 14, 2024 11:38 PM

Are Kiefer and Robert still friends?

by Anonymousreply 189January 15, 2024 3:03 AM

They parted ways after Kiefer's Baccarat highball glass left a faint ring on Robert's treasured Ray Eames boomerang table.

by Anonymousreply 190January 15, 2024 4:32 AM

oops, wait, that happens 20 years from now when they both retire and shack up in Palm Springs.

by Anonymousreply 191January 15, 2024 5:27 AM

I'm the fact that only the lonely can play.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 192January 15, 2024 7:13 AM

Spader was so beautiful, R192.

And now he resembles a soft boiled egg.

Ah well.

by Anonymousreply 193January 16, 2024 5:37 AM

I'm Ione Skye.

WHET to me?

by Anonymousreply 194January 16, 2024 5:40 AM

I'm New Gold Dream by Simple Minds, being played at decibels that would distract an earthquake.

by Anonymousreply 195January 16, 2024 6:36 AM

I'm Emilio Estevez's dog. It's a new breed called a pit bull--DOWN, CUJO!!! DOWN!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 196January 16, 2024 6:53 PM

Oof!

by Anonymousreply 197January 17, 2024 12:06 AM

I'm River Phoenix smoking my first joint. What could possibly go wrong?

by Anonymousreply 198January 17, 2024 12:12 AM

I'm the brochure for that year's Porsche with DOUCHEMOBILE written across in it bold black letters.

by Anonymousreply 199January 17, 2024 2:32 AM

I'm Pia Zadora, wondering if there's crossover.

by Anonymousreply 200January 17, 2024 11:45 PM

I'm the brown rings around the toilet bowl, I am legion...

by Anonymousreply 201January 18, 2024 1:24 AM

I'm the double headed dildo in Robert's sock drawer.

by Anonymousreply 202January 18, 2024 4:26 AM

There's mainly two people masturbating, I mean posting, on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 203January 18, 2024 5:18 AM

Yeah, R203, and?

by Anonymousreply 204January 18, 2024 5:31 AM

Or maybe one person and a sock puppet or two. I guess this is how we do old bat now.

by Anonymousreply 205January 18, 2024 6:30 AM

Muriel! Red alert! He discovered the secret of DL!

by Anonymousreply 206January 18, 2024 6:42 AM

R203, do you have a thread where you can say "Oh, another Trump thread?"

Shouldn't you be looking for one?

And masturbating quite vigorously while doing so?

by Anonymousreply 207January 18, 2024 6:43 AM

I am datalounge that rejects every picture of two of them together.

by Anonymousreply 208January 19, 2024 4:33 AM

I am me, not quite understanding R208.

by Anonymousreply 209January 19, 2024 4:45 AM

Can't post pictures here. Can you?

by Anonymousreply 210January 19, 2024 5:05 AM

The only pics I can find of them together are from the film 1969.

by Anonymousreply 211January 19, 2024 5:08 AM

The FILM, R211?

by Anonymousreply 212January 22, 2024 1:43 AM

How is poor Martha Plimpton a star? Family connections? The poor dear has a face like a freight train.

by Anonymousreply 213January 22, 2024 5:02 AM

Is Martha lez?

by Anonymousreply 214January 22, 2024 5:05 AM

Martha Plimpton is a very good actress.

by Anonymousreply 215January 22, 2024 5:12 AM

Keith Carradine is her dad.

by Anonymousreply 216January 22, 2024 5:12 AM

Another vote for Martha as a talented actress. She was/is also very smart. She dated River briefly, knew Charlie Sheen, Brooke Shields, etc.

by Anonymousreply 217January 22, 2024 6:52 AM

Every LA whore knows Charlie Sheen.

by Anonymousreply 218January 22, 2024 8:01 AM

Martha Plimpton always had a face better for the grandma roles she's currently playing.

by Anonymousreply 219January 22, 2024 2:28 PM

R219 Even when she was 19?

by Anonymousreply 220January 22, 2024 2:56 PM

She looked like a normal kid to me.

She was great in The Goonies.

by Anonymousreply 221January 22, 2024 3:03 PM

I'm whoever the woman in this photo is.

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by Anonymousreply 222January 24, 2024 12:55 AM

I'm the fact that not only did they share an apartment, they went to high school together.

Then one dropped out and the other was kicked out.

Then the still they built in the lab blew up and the rest of them were blown out.

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by Anonymousreply 223January 24, 2024 12:58 AM

If they dropped out/were kicked out, why are they in graduation regalia in that photo, with the tassels moved to the left?

by Anonymousreply 224January 24, 2024 1:04 AM

R224, because the picture is actually from the film "1969" where they play recent graduates.

by Anonymousreply 225January 24, 2024 1:05 AM

I'm the other film they starred in called 69. The only copy is locked in a vault to be released when both of them are dead.

by Anonymousreply 226January 24, 2024 4:21 AM

At least three friends didn't die in their backyard.

by Anonymousreply 227January 24, 2024 5:53 AM

Haim OD'ed in the toilet once but we dragged his body out to the dumpster.

by Anonymousreply 228January 24, 2024 5:57 AM

R222

It's picture from the movie? Woman is obviously not Winona Ryder lol.

by Anonymousreply 229January 24, 2024 12:46 PM

I’m clove cigarettes

by Anonymousreply 230January 24, 2024 12:49 PM

I’m Rob Lowe’s chunky butt, making too many appearances in his sex tapes.

by Anonymousreply 231January 24, 2024 1:52 PM

I'm the drug fueled orgies.

by Anonymousreply 232January 28, 2024 11:31 PM

I'm subtle scent of feces, cigarette smoke, Corona, and Polo Sport always wafting through the space...

by Anonymousreply 233January 29, 2024 1:16 AM

I'm Robert beating off to the sound of Kiefer fucking some random girl in the next room.

by Anonymousreply 234January 29, 2024 2:07 AM

I'm Robert beating off and quietly crying to the sound of Kiefer fucking some random boy in the next room.

by Anonymousreply 235January 29, 2024 3:54 AM

I can picture that, on both sides of the bedroom door

by Anonymousreply 236January 29, 2024 4:03 AM

I'm my inability to decide if this is one of the sexiest, most glamorous and 80s-nostalgic threads on Datalounge, one of the saddest or both.

by Anonymousreply 237January 29, 2024 5:24 AM

I'm John Cusack, wondering if there's a female alien involved.

by Anonymousreply 238January 29, 2024 5:25 AM

I'm nothing on the walls but some food.

by Anonymousreply 239January 29, 2024 5:26 AM

I'm Nick Cage thinking that if I just believe in myself and my ability there's gotta be way for me to make it in this crazy, crazy town.

by Anonymousreply 240January 29, 2024 5:28 AM

I'm the fact that I know what you want

I know what you need

Better than you do

I know why you came

I promise you

I know where you go

I know what you do

Better than you do

When nothing remains

I come to you

Sometimes she shines, and I know

Beauty has her way

by Anonymousreply 241January 29, 2024 5:43 AM

I'm the fact that these two saw each other naked every day. Also on the toilet.

by Anonymousreply 242February 9, 2024 11:59 PM

I think I'd rather be RDJ's roommate during this time than Kiefer. And I thin Kiefer is a talented actor. But he had anger management issues.

by Anonymousreply 243February 10, 2024 12:06 AM

It's interesting to compare the boys of the 80s with those of the 70s. Not that there weren't attractive actors in the 70s, but they tended to be adults. The younger crowd was...well...young, anyway.

What happened?

Did homoerotism finally breach the barrier somewhere around 1982?

by Anonymousreply 244February 10, 2024 12:09 AM

Relevant thread

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by Anonymousreply 245February 10, 2024 12:14 AM

Relevant soundtrack.

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by Anonymousreply 246February 10, 2024 5:35 AM

I'm the fact that if you take the L out of Lover, it's over.

by Anonymousreply 247February 13, 2024 5:02 AM

I'm Jason Patric's cum dripping from Bobby Downey's hole after a particularly drunken fuckfest.

by Anonymousreply 248February 13, 2024 5:20 AM

I'm Kiefer Sutherland, in the corner, jerking off to Jason Patric pounding Bobby Downey.

by Anonymousreply 249February 13, 2024 5:21 AM

I'm Jami Gertz, a nice Jewish girl who's wondering how I got into this mess.

by Anonymousreply 250February 13, 2024 5:29 AM

Jami, you should have learned your lesson back at R77.

by Anonymousreply 251February 13, 2024 1:39 PM

Poor Robert must have been taken advantage of so many times.

by Anonymousreply 252February 14, 2024 4:16 AM

I'm James Spader, and I'm only dealing this brick of coke to prepare for a movie role.

You buying that this time?

by Anonymousreply 253February 14, 2024 4:34 AM

I'm the metal tipped thin belts.

by Anonymousreply 254February 14, 2024 4:53 AM

I'm Ralph Macchio, borrowing hair product.

by Anonymousreply 255February 24, 2024 3:10 PM

R255, at least I THINK it's hair product...

by Anonymousreply 256February 24, 2024 3:11 PM
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