First World Female Privilege

My 68 year old stepmother also comes from a lower income blue collar family, with no post-HS education and she lives in a million dollar home and drives a Tesla, courtesy of her marriage. She (and my father) think nothing of it, even if it rankles my siblings and I that she is living off a career my father began building during his 1st marriage, to my mother who helped put him through grad school.

Then again I have two uncles who are college dropouts, who are married to very high earning women who provide most of their household income. One of my uncles is on his 3rd wife, all three of his spouses were highly educated and made much more money than him.

There have been A LOT of elected female leaders, decades and decades ago, from developed and developing countries such as India, Bolivia, China, Turkey, Pakistan, Poland, Haiti, Liberia, Mali, Thailand, THE LIST GOES ON but the US can't seem to elect one. But women are so equal here, never forget how empowered they are to do Onlyfans.

Anyway, I think it's to do with being prepared for war, which other countries get to relax on that a bit and believe in a woman's compassion to take care of others.

This is why we'll never have a female President unless she was a combat veteran General and could fire comebacks that shut Donald Trump up.

Hilary did great in the debate against him but no one cared.

The female cohort approaching 70 (and older) seems like the last gasp of women for whom there were few other prevailing expectations than to be pretty, get married, entertain well, and rear children. It really was their job.

They have vaginas that are self lubing and self dilating.

We fucking hate them and their moist cunts

[quote]For the most part, men have to earn the lifestyle they end up leading.

However, they don't have to earn their family life. That is usually provided almost entirely by the wife, even today and even if she has a full-time job herself. In most cases, those women OP describes as being "just married", have had two or more kids, taken time off work and its benefits to get them through babyhood and often all the way to school, ferried them to and from school, sports events and outside-school classes, worked out what to do when a kid is off school sick and you're both working, kept house, shopped for and fed everyone, dealt with repairmen, renovations and the minutiae of moving house, and been his social secretary because he "didn't have time" to make friends of his own outside work. In many cases, she worked to support him through college, or to move up from an ordinary professional qualification to a specialist one.

Even for women who were full-time housewives, if they met the full job description they definitely earned what they shared with the husband in terms of material benefits. Those who have careers as well, even moreso. Face it -- how many men with children would be able to live in a $4 million house at 65 if they hadn't had wives to do all those things for them? Marriage is very good for most men. To the point where they rarely leave unless they have a new, younger wife already lined up.

Sure, there are cases of women who have servants and/or who insist on being treated like princesses by their husbands and who don't do any of what I've listed, but outside of reality TV and the world of the mega-rich they are as rare as kept boys.

[quote]However, they don't have to earn their family life. That is usually provided almost entirely by the wife, even today and even if she has a full-time job herself.

R6 It's the women that want the kids, not the man. A lot of women, from 25-35, are gagging to having a boyfriend, then husband, then children. As soon as they have the guy, they want the kids. The family that a man has is mostly because the woman he is married to desperately wants children. It's very rarely the man who is rushing to have a family. That is something I never get. I have seen so many women desperately trying to have kids, some with great difficulty, and then they finally do and down the road complain about how they had to give up everything for their family. A man in his 20s, 30s, is thinking about his career and maybe a wife he wants to make happy by giving her kids. But most men probably could wait until mid 30s to early 40s, this day and age to have kids. That's when the clock kicks in for them. And for man, it's never too hard to find a woman to have them with.

Women 25-35 mostly ARE involved with men aged 35-50, R7.

and R6, I don't care if you are a man, woman, child, monkey or dog - there is nothing that anyone does inside of a household that is worth a salary of 2 million a year, nothing. Marriage may be good for most men, but it's amazing for a ton of women. I'd love to stay home and do all the planning and driving and household management - if I did that in the real world, I'd maybe earn $125k a year, $200 at most. Definitely not 2 million dollars. I think women started believing their own press when initially when people started saying that being a mother is the hardest job on earth. No it's not.

Those women want to be taken care of R8 and probably will be. And those men at that age finally want to have kids, so it matches up.

A man who is well off will marry a high school dropout no problem. A woman who is very well off or successful in business will mostly likely want someone her equal or better. Women don't chose to take care of a man. Circumstances may turn out that way, but most women aren't seeking out men to take care of like men are ok with taking care of a woman. Lucky for women.

Wow. What a stupid post.

R7, you’re wrong— men want the kids, they just don’t want to raise them.

Most straight men want children. I know plenty of frau friends who were ambivalent about it but their husbands insisted on having kids.

When I want to talk to an expert on women, the first person I'll ask is a gay man.

i do think women have an incredible amount of social privilege. it's human nature to feel empathy for women in a way that it just isn't for men. if i see a woman crying or in distress my instinct is to help, if i see a man crying or in distress i wonder what his problem is and i feel a little disgusted. a woman will never be invisible, uncared for, or alone, unless she is truly vile and twisted. however, i think that comes with being treated with kids gloves in a way that could be maddening. i think if i were a woman i would be extremely paranoid about peoples intentions and frustrated by the lack of authenticity in interactions with men.

Vaginal dryness from air conditioning.

The two issues with women:

1) They all hate each other. Women could rule the world if they could just support each other.

2) Forget what you see in social media, but women are still raised to find a man and be a wife and mother. Which heavily plays into why #1 keeps happening over and over. Even though it's not polite to say out loud, you see a lot of smart, talented women, but you know that secretly all they care about his finding a man and having babies. It's ridiculous.

When it comes to dating, even in this day and age, it's de rigueur that a man approaches a woman, shoots their shot as they say. Rejection is very tough for anyone, but it's something men, more so than women, have to learn to deal with - approaching someone and being rejected. Or being made to feel less than what you are because you don't have game.

And r17 is right. No matter how successful a woman is, it is a goal to find a man, usually more successful, , and have kids. Most women want to get married, and most want to have children despite whatever that might do to their careers. And to R12's point, Men do want kids. But like I said that usually kicks in at age 35 when a man has proven to himself that he can take care of a family. Men usually don't want kids until they feel they can provide for a family. Women will want kids with the hope of being provided for.

I can’t relate to a single post on this thread.

Bunch of snobs.

[quote]She (and my father) think nothing of it, even if it rankles my siblings and I that she is living off a career my father began building during his 1st marriage, to my mother who helped put him through grad school.

r1, while I get that you view your stepmother's "privilege" your story inherently recognizes the precariousness of her situation, as illustrated by your mother. Your father dumped your mother who supported him.

Using this so-called "privilege" is an inherently high risk strategy that would require a high return to make sense. The problem is that your mother didn't protect herself from being cast aside - she engaged in that high risk strategy without knowing it.

[quote]a woman will never be invisible, uncared for, or alone, unless she is truly vile and twisted.

Whomever believes this is clearly unfamiliar with the demographic of women over 50. Even the attractive ones age out of mattering.

The problem with your logic, R9, is you don't average it out to take into account the millions of women who do the work you reckon is worth $125-200K a year but the husband only earns $60K a year.

I don't know who all these women getting $2 million a year to spend are. What happens to create "privilege" is rarely just that the husband comes to earn huge money. More commonly, it's that a young couple buy property and over time it gains in value, then they usually upgrade to a bigger place in a nicer area, so that by the time they're empty-nesters the house can be worth a lot by that day's standards. They might have paid a tenth or less of what it's now worth out of their own pockets (as opposed to using the increase in equity from the earlier house when they trade up), so you can't calculate that back to "earnings". The stipulation is that the relationship has to last long enough for the big profits to kick in.

The misogyny on here seems to be largely fuelled by absolute ignorance of women and marriage. The average married straight woman would laugh in your face if told the husband was the one who did the main share of "caring". I have never, ever heard a straight man say anything like the sentiments in the song "As Long as He Needs Me" about his wife/partner, but I hear it from women all the time about abusive or cheating husbands. (I've also heard it from gay men about total losers.) At a more prosaic level, the term "man flu" exists because it's well known that if a married man gets even a little sick he expects his wife to run around bringing him whatever he wants as he lies dying on the couch, while if a woman gets sick she usually has to take care of the likewise sick children. She will be lucky if the husband notices there's an issue as long as he hasn't caught it. And that's in good marriages.

Women do not "all hate each other". You have watched too many Bette Davis and Helen Lawson films. Most women are not mean girls at school, and very many retain friendships lifelong that they make at school or when their babies are young. If you ever talked to them with any curiosity, most married women would tell you they couldn't get through their marriages, or raising teenagers, without their women friends to go to for advice or just when they need to vent.

Women who hate other women, which is a small subset of all women, are mostly the same ambitious psychopaths that very successful men have always been: no friends, only contacts who can be helpful and a wife at home making him look good domestically. If you're a psychopathic woman most of your contacts are going to be male because men are more easily manipulated.

There are probably women on some other board right now making exactly the same kind of bitchy remarks about gays. ("They never have real jobs, they just faff around in arts or marketing and then go off on lovely overseas trips; they secretly just want our husbands; they'd all scratch each other's eyes out over some pretty boy", etc). And if you read that you'd be up in arms, mouthing off about homophobia, when it's just the same level of ignorance of The Other that some of you are showing.

Any person who is outside the patriarchal social norm of heterosexual marriage and children faces intense societal pressure to confirm.

Be it straight single women who are happy being single and don’t want children. Be it gay men (especially those who aren’t interested in marriage or children). Be it lesbians who don’t want marriage or children.

Single straight men will always have a slightly easier go of it because society holds out hope they will still find a woman and procreate.

Agree with r17. It doesn’t matter how successful or brilliant or attractive a woman is. The bottom line is always “is she married?” “Does she have kids?” Look at how Kamala Harris had to trot out those ugly stepchildren when she was campaigning to compensate for the fact that she didn’t have kids. Notice we haven’t really seen them at all since the inauguration (or her for that matter).

[quote]The female cohort approaching 70 (and older) seems like the last gasp of women for whom there were few other prevailing expectations than to be pretty, get married, entertain well, and rear children. It really was their job.

R4, if only that were true. It's a narrative still pushed by entertainment..."The Real Housewives" franchise extolls it. As do stories abut women who have achieved success in their careers, but who have not "found" a man in their private lives...think the obsession with Jennifer Aniston or the endless speculation about Oprah's private live. And even a public figure like Meghan Markle...she achieved success in show business. She's college educated. But she's extolled for marrying the fantasy...a prince. no less.

That narrative that a woman must be married to a man to be truly successful still permeates through society.

The title of this thread should be “First World WHITE Female Privilege”.

r26 = Robin DiAngelo

*Not* having children is the real privilege. Look at Texas's no-abortion draconian control of women, that is not first world standard of living.

I know this is a troll post, meant to stir up misogyny from the unlaid homos but I’ll bite anyway.

The flexibility to change careers. It’s not that they can’t it’s just that if it doesn’t work out, they really do lose a lot of social currency. Women don’t.

r22 that's fair, i didn't think of that at all.

Fuck ask any young ugly women if they are truly cared for. The only ones who get automatic good treatment are hot young women and it’s because straight guys want to screw them.

R17 they are not raised that way. Twinks who want sugar daddies aren't raised that way either, yet they want to live off a breadwinner.

I think one thing is that women can pretty much insult men carte blanche and they'll generally get cheered on as feminists, but if men say anything negative about women they'll get accused of misogyny.

Don't get me wrong, may men ARE misogynistic and I'm not saying that shouldn't be called out, but sometimes a woman is deserving of criticism and isn't misogyny. It's just based on her behaviour as a person, not a woman.

A recent example was on Twitter where a gender critical guy called out a woman who said "all men are perverts" at a feminist event without challenge. He was on their side but said that generalising 50% of the population that way isn't helpful. Seems sensible to me, but he got rounded on, and was told he was a misogynist who was trying to police what women say. He ended up deleting his tweet and apologising.

Straight women are also more likely to get away with low level homophobia than straight men. A bit of an older example but one I only recently came across... after It's A Sin was released, Hadley Freeman said that, while she enjoyed it, she didn't like how some of the female characters were treated - even the main character's homophobic mother. Despite clearly knowing the TV show's main aim was to show how AIDS impacted a generation of gay men, she was complaining about how some straight female characters were written. Far from being heavily criticised, most of the replies (from fellow straight women) agreed with her. If straight men made similar comments like that about a show centred on lesbians they'd get obliterated.

I don't think either of my examples are necessarily a privilege per se, but they show a couple of differences I've come across. I held my tongue both times, because I know what's between my legs would be the reason my opinion would be criticised, not what I'd actually said or written.

What are you all on about? Circumcision is male privilege and women are denied that right. You should be ashamed of yourselves implying that women have it better.

Homophobia.

Women can get away with being homophobic. Not Anita Bryant but a girl can “befriend” you and feels comfortable being absolutely homophobic.

I didn’t have many friends once I went to high school and girls befriended me but the compromise were they were homophobic.

They definitely made me feel horrible about my looks because they judged me and called me ugly.

Once I turned 18 and became sexually active, it was the total opposite. I was ugly to them because I’m biracial and have very feminine features. I’m in my 30s, usually mistaken for being in my mid-20s and men younger and older still think I’m beautiful.

Oh brother. Someone calls you ugly and it’s homophobia? Women are more homophobic than men now?

We must live on different planets.

None of this 'female privilege' is anything new.

The straight men want the children, not to raise, but as markers of their potency.

OP you sound like you're annoyed you won't get your inheritance, may I suggest double murder? But don't tell your shrink!

The worst homophobic taunting I received in high school came from a clique of mean girls.

[quote]The two issues with women: 1) They all hate each other. Women could rule the world if they could just support each other. 2) Forget what you see in social media, but women are still raised to find a man and be a wife and mother. Which heavily plays into why #1 keeps happening over and over. Even though it's not polite to say out loud, you see a lot of smart, talented women, but you know that secretly all they care about his finding a man and having babies. It's ridiculous.

BULL.SHIT.

Just how old ARE you, R9?

Time to turn off the soaps and TCM so you can go touch grass.

R35, it sounds like you were trying to be friends with the elite mean girls because you thought you were Miss Thing, but they did not agree.

I work in the financial industry and am happy to report that data shows that straight women are de-prioritizing marriage/kids at an increasing pace.

Fifty+ educated women are divorcing their spouses in droves. They earn enough to support themselves and dump their husband, who is essentially a third child in many marriages, once the actual children begin to leave the nest and they are not looking for another male partner.

Younger women are delaying marriage and childbirth and/or eschewing both altogether at higher rates every year. This trend may be partly due to financial constraints faced by their generations. However, it is also due to changing values and viewing marriage and children as unrewarding.

^ Agreed. Marriage and births are declining because women are financially stable and don’t need a man or kids.

Women can turn off their drive for having children about as well as a man can turn off his drive for making them.

There are things we like to tell ourselves, and then there is the truth.

This thread was never intended to imply that women have it better or that they don't have issues in a patriarchal society. It's intent was to point out the fact that in this day in age, as some people have said upthread, to mention that there are certain privileges in society that women enjoy, but to bring them up is seen as misogynistic - something I was immediately called in r22. Women don't want to be equal to men, they want the privileges of being a man without realizing there are some privileges that come with being a woman that they would never give up in the name of true equality. Addressing r22 first.

[quote]you don't average it out to take into account the millions of women who do the work you reckon is worth $125-200K a year but the husband only earns $60K a year.

That maybe all very well and good, but the truth is that men are the breadwinners in the majority or Amerian households still. That's just a fact. There may be more women now earning more money than their husbands than before. This is in large part due to corporate America realizing that women are cheaper and demand less for themselves and on the large part devalue themselves in the workplace making them very desirable to high. They are very educated and capable yet content to just be there.

R22 again [quote]The average married straight woman would laugh in your face if told the husband was the one who did the main share of "caring".

You were the FIRST person to even mention this on the thread. I don't think anyone would debate that women are seen as more caring.

[quote]Women do not "all hate each other".

They certainly don't like each other. Chris Rock told a joke that rings so true when it come to this. If a guy sees a best friend with a great girlfriend or wife, the guy will compliment his friend and say I need to find a woman just like that. If a women sees a best friend with a great boyfriend or husband, she will think - I need to find a way to get that man. Women have trouble dealing with other women who are doing better in life, at life, than them. Women don't trust other women like men can come to trust another man. Women like other women as long as they aren't doing better than them in the same lane.

Women are the majority of the voting population. The country could look exactly the way the want it to. I am not saying they all have to agree. But when it comes to the most BASIC of issues of being a woman - like equal pay, we are still in the same place we were 100 years ago. It seems like woman could come together enough to at least get equal pay on the books.

OP, what are you even doing here? Isn't there some MRA/incel online enclave you should be at? No one here is agreeing with you.

[quote] If a women sees a best friend with a great boyfriend or husband, she will think - I need to find a way to get that man

oh bollocks r47. You’ve been watching too much trashy tv.

Some of you can cry bullshit or bollocks all you'd like, but there are too many examples of women not supporting other women for there not to be something to it. Does that mean that every woman hates other women? No. But there are a lot who do. Some of Hillary Clinton's most fervent haters were women. Girls in high school are constantly fucking over other girls and that carries over into college and into adulthood. A good friend stopped going to her kids PTA because of a group of mean moms. I've seen the popular girl clique at work just eviscerate women not in their inner circle and target women with real potential until they end up quitting. Women are constantly in competition with each other.

This is not me being anti-women. It's just me having experienced a little over 50 years on this planet and having seen them do their thing.

And one more thing, women can be kind, loving and caring allies, but when they're against you - watch the fuck out.

More often lately they can report to work lately in office settings wearing sleeveless tops with plunging blouse and sweater necklines, while the hot guys wed lover to see showing their bared arm muscles and pecs while old be considered more likely to be over-the-top and inappropriately dressed.

"i think if i were a woman i would be extremely paranoid about peoples intentions and frustrated by the lack of authenticity in interactions with men." Yeah, I don't think you would, I know you would. Men have no idea what the world is like for women.

"I need to find a way to get that man" oh my sides!

"It seems like woman could come together enough to at least get equal pay on the books." Clueless, and quite smug about it.

"A strong woman always leaves her man behind."

Women get to walk in their underwear in public and it's perfectly acceptable. It must be so much easier to dress. Women can go to Walmart in what men would call tight boxer briefs (yoga shorts) and and a sports bra. Sometimes you can even see the outline of the genitals and no on says anything about it - it would be called "shaming."

Can you imagine if men walked around in the same stuff, they'd be called peverts and wouldn't be allowed around children. I saw this womam waiting in line to go to dinner.

R53 doesn't get out during gray sweatpant season for men.

I know what gray pants season is, and it's not just a season. But dick swinging sightings are few and far between compared to the number of woman walking around it what you see above. And MOST guys you see out in sweat pants have underwear and basketball shorts underneath. Trust me I have seen enough of them get undressed in the locker room. Above is the normal normal running to the coffee shop, running errands wear for a lot of women.

Men do do that R53, and they do it in women's clothes and some of them even wear size ZZZ fake tits, women can't do that shit. So yeah, call yourself a trans woman and you can wear whatever the fuck you want.

R56 you aren't using your critical thinking skills. You are talking about one person in particular and maybe 100,000 more compared to the almost 100 million grown women in the United States. Even if just 10% of them dressed like above, that is 10 million women. There is no comparison. I am saying it is much more widely accepted and common place to see women out in public wearing nothing more than what amounts to underwear. Men do not do that. The most you will see is a kid sagging with his underwear asscheeks out. What is deemed inappropriate for public has changed greatly in just the last 25 years even. You will also see grown women walking with their buttcheeks hanging out of the bottom of their shorts. You will never see a man doing this, at least I haven't seen it anyway.

What are you talking about, R50? Everything you said applies to men. You said you're not a misogynist, but everything you're saying confirms you are.

Yoga pants are just really, really thick nylons.

^and they’ve evolved. They used to smoothly cover the ass. Now they deep into the crack. Woman are walking around basically with every contour of their body exposed.

I wish more men would start doing this. But I guess they get attention and respect from other things.

R57 Men get to walk around shirtless without so much as a glance or glare. Men also wear bike shorts just like women.

Women are Not allowed to walk around shirtless.

It can backfire therefore it is not privilege

Fat people also walk around in expository clothing, OP, and they shouldn't be allowed to either. Only a select few can pull that shit off.

[R53] keep tightening your clutch on those pearls hon

R64 Not clutching pearls R64. I just don't think women realize how lucky they are that they can basically wear whatever they want, even if it means their underwear, in public.

and r61, next time you're walking down the street, or out in the store, count how many shirtless men you see as compared to woman in "second skin" yoga pants or bicycle shorts and t-shirt. Men, for the most part, do not just walking around shirtless all the time. AND men don't walk around in bicycle shorts unless they are actually getting on a bike. Men usually wear basketball shorts over their working leggings or compression shorts. And in NYC, from what I remember, women can walk around topless in public if they want. I have seen it before. So women are allowed to show their tits and genitals to the world.

Women can ask a man to act like a Gentleman and ask for help from them.

Men can't really ask a woman to act like a Lady this day and age.

[quote]Fuck ask any young ugly women if they are truly cared for. The only ones who get automatic good treatment are hot young women and it’s because straight guys want to screw them.

R31 that's a fallacy. Everyone thinks gay men can have sex anytime they want to. It's actually women who can have sex anytime they want to. Straight men will fuck anything if given the chance - women have said as much. You could be ugly as sin, post an ad online, and there will be some guy who wants to fuck you. And surprisingly hot ones in comparison. Especially fat women. Women THINK guys only want to fuck hot girls, but that's not true. Of course I would like a steak dinner, but I'd eat a gas station hot dog if I was hungry. And men are always hungry.

I had a personal trainer friend with a super hot body who was a bit of an exhibitionist, he would go to clubs and immediately take his shirt off. No girls would approach him because they thought he was obnoxious, and he kinda was. This drunk fat girl with a cocktail in her hand came up and shamelessly started complimenting him on his body, touching he chest, saying how hot he was. He ended up going home with her, or at least to the bathroom. It's funny, super fit muscular guys seem to gravitate towards chunky women.

In NOVA, Wellington, Ocala and Lexington men wear these and it’s not only allowed but encouraged..it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Women are being treated badly right now by the Neanderthal rethugs. Mean girls are often homophobic but I think they figure that they are “playing rough “ mean women do a lot of negative things towards gay men and need to be told that is wrong I think the mean girls tend to be rethugs that want to control others

R67 is he now paying child support?

I think she just sucked him off R69

Actually, R69, he was one of the straight Sean Cody boys from ages ago. I am 100% not shitting you. He's in his early 40s now and his body is more muscular and he looks a little harder for the wear.

R67 fucking someone does not mean you treat them well or care for them, what a stupid argument to make.

Some men fuck orangutans, does that mean they care for and treat orangutans well?

What R72? Where did I mention treating or caring for someone well? I just was arguing the idea that men only want to fuck hot girls as someone stated above. What don't you understand about that? Unless you are the type who equate sex with love. It was a pretty clear and basic argument. I don't know how shoehorn "care" into that.

R68? Were you trying to bait people or just being sarcastic?

Those are show horse riding breeches, also worn by motorcycle cops and mounted police patrolmen/women.

Since most men I knew in the show horse world were gay, I would assume that at least a few on DL would recognize what they are. Nice try, though!

Do people really fuck orangutans?

R73 nobody said men only want to fuck hot girls, you made that up and ran with it. It was argued that the only ones who get automatic good treatment are hot young women, because those are the ones that straight men want to fuck. Whether or not straight men will settle for the fat or ugly chick at the end of the night does not equate to automatic good treatment.

Gay men will fuck anything if they’re desperate enough too, but that doesn’t mean they treat ugly guys well.

R76 you obviously haven't set foot in a gay bar if you really believe that. Gay men are the pickiest men when it comes to sex partners. They will NOT just fuck anything. I would say 80% of gay men who are out at a bar and a club go home alone and jackoff or are up on grinder acting as if they want to meet up but don't.

The world is a depressingly masculine place.