Do you enjoy watching Hallmark Christmas movies?

Oh, yes, that's when I get to catch up on my knitting and scrap-booking 🙄

They are complete redundant trash. As cheery as a head in collision

on*

OP- I would like Carlo Mark's BALLS ⚽⚽

Show all the meth labs and crack houses on “Snow Globe Lane”

r5 = David Lynch

It's not a crack house, it's a crack home

cute meet 🤢 cutesy banter 🤮

I will glance at one or two every year but I don't sit and watch them. I like to keep up with the genre because I like popular culture. I also have an interest in the set and production design. What kinds of fake snow they are using, how many tens of thousand of fairy lights are implicated. How they work in trends things from the general zeitgeist.

I have my favourites: Our Luke, Brennan Elliott, Melissa Joan Hart, one of the Mowry twins, Lacey Chabert.

We have a DL Hallmark Zaddy who has acted as one of the Christmas leading ladies’ father. I bet he’s a silver fox.

Not anymore... 😠

Without reading r11, I'm going to guess it's not "Christian" enough for her.

^ Bingo!

Hallmark features Gay people and that simply won't fly with our Candace 🙄

I find Lifetime Christmas movies a bit more textured/interesting.

I thought Candace was going to fly a helicopter 🚁 into the jail yard to spring Lori

Oh, Fuck GAC and them turning it into GAC Family to feature movies with that cunt Candace. I still laugh at how GAC Family got low ratings last year for their Christmas movies.

[quote] I find Lifetime Christmas movies a bit more textured/interesting.

Lifetime is a bit more racier with some of their Christmas movies. The movie 12 Men Of Christmas with Kristin Chenowith was pretty entertaining. Also, Lifetime was featuring Christmas movies with interracial couples before Hallmark was.

Nah. They're not even in the 'so bad they're funny category'.

Omg I hate them so much.

My Dad's evening caregiver is OBSESSED with them and will turn Dad's TV to those GAC/Hallmark/Lifetime channels and watch one after another.

I wanna tell her [bold]THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!![/bold] Beautiful male actors (75% of whom are obviously gay) paired with plain-to-moderately good looking actress rehashing the same basic plot over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And over.

And I have to hear them all because I'm trapped in the kitchen making dinner, and Dad's den where the TV is adjoins the kitchen.

You can tell who their audience is by observing how plain the women are. Every time. Can't have a beautiful actress they can't relate to, making that audience feel envious instead of cheering them on, right?

Did I mention how much I hate them, and how they all have the same plot? Because I'm not sure I made that clear....

The Amazon reviews of this one are pretty hilarious. Basically, woman with PhD in astronomy walks away from a career-altering scientific discovery because insecure man-child throws a hissy fit.

But it is GAC Family, not Hallmark.

Every time I see Randon Bouth in "The Nine Kittens of Christmas," I touch myself just a little bit. You know. Down there.

Awful. What happened to the Dove channel, another uber xtian offering?

Silly OP.

You think I still pay for cable and replaced it with streaming.

Couldn't watch it if I wanted to, but I don't so ... .

No, I don't enjoy them. I don't know why they have to be so bad. Romantic comedy fans deserve better.

My mother hate watches them. I've watched with her a few times during my visits. She loves trashing them. The writing and the fake quaint settings but she really makes fun of all the actors and extras forced to have huge, happy-happy smiles the entire movie. Everyone is maniacally happy. That Good Witch show had the same creepy cheerfulness all the time plus constant tea drinking when in reality they'd all be drinking wine.

My favorite thing to make fun of is the Christmas decorations in places where Christmas decorations never are. With that said, as someone who loves Christmas, the aesthetic of the Hallmark movies really is beautiful.

When I do accidentally see a part of one I feel really sorry for the actors involved.

I guess a gig is a gig.

Funny you should ask, as I've been dipping my toe into the gay ones this past week. It's really funny that they literally all have the same plot, but I can see where some might find that comforting. Most of them I've had to turn off after 30 minutes or so, but I did make it through the Fran Drescher one, and there was one with Jonathan Bennett watching his sister's kids that... I actually enjoyed. I'm braced for your mockery. Strangely, it was the only one not featuring an aging diva in the mother role.

Last night I watched The Bitch Who Stole Christmas, which was basically a really long Rusical parody of these movies. I laughed several times, but just like the Rusicals, I was ready for it to be over well before it ended.

Next in the queue is "A Christmas to Treasure." We'll see how it goes.

Watching this one tonight.

I made it through twenty minutes of A Christmas to Treasure.

RE r26: here's an example. Look at these decorations on a train ...

I’m waiting for ID Channel to start running Christmas movies.

“A Christmas Bludgeoning”

“Jingle Bells and Rape”

“‘Twas the Night Before He Stabbed Me With an Ice Pick”

The ratings would be huge. Trust me. My brain dead sister loves Christmas love stories and domestic violence murders.

I want David Lynch to direct a Hallmark Christmas movie. What a mind fuck that would be.

r30 why was it so bad?

Lucus Bryant is barely holding my attention in r29

Also, they're at an indoor skating rink and there are decorated Christmas trees ON THE RINK. I can only suspend belief for so long.

[quote] Lifetime is a bit more racier with some of their Christmas movies. The movie 12 Men Of Christmas with Kristin Chenowith was pretty entertaining.

I remember that one. It featured a pre-Veep Anna Chlumsky.

At that time Lifetime had made a bunch of movies starring actors who could find legitimate TV and film roles elsewhere - Mary-Louise Parker, Sarah Paulson, John Corbett, Brittany Murphy.

I saw one on Amazon Prime set in the December Christmas market in “charming English town”.

Very unrealistic. Where was the pumping 1990s house music? The minimum of 2 public fights? The 80-90% of the stalls selling cider and gin?

Only the older ones I might know from the 60s-70s. If they didn’t have them then I don’t know.

Yes they're silly fun movies and great for Xmas time.

They are the romance in many women's lives. Just like romance novels (remember Harlequin Romances?) or soaps. Sometimes it's nice just to sit and watch something cute and corny while I'm doing other things. Makes me want to live a small town and marry the widowed gym teacher who just found out his family's land was on a part of the old mine that never was explored before the explosion and everything was shut down. Now with robots and AI, the mining can start easily and this gym teacher will be one of the richest men in the state. With a fat 8 inches.

I forgot to add - they're all the same plot but you know what you're getting into. I enjoyed a couple of the gay ones in recent years. Cringey yes but still fun.

Funny, that’s why I watch The Andy Griffith Show channel R41.

Christmas in Gaza

It's about quantity, not quality.

The problem is they air them ALL fucking year. Why not change the name to The Christmas Channel?

MERRY r46!!!

R46, actually they only air the Christmas movies from late Oct to Christmas and then in July (Christmas in July!). I could see how you would be confused though as they fill the rest of the year with other "seasonal" content which follows the exact same formula.

Considering there are 34,391 movies in the Hallmark Christmas catalog, they have to air them year-round.

They all have the "Boy Meets Girl" plot.

Can’t stand them. I think of them as 110% artificial

The “Other Side” of Pine Cone Ridge

They're great escapism.

My brother-in-law's sister-in-law loves the Hallmark channel, she also talks about soap opera characters as if they're real people.

SnowGlobe Lane South

I hate that artificial shit. Make believe stories bad acting from plastic looking actors. Flushable

Even their gay movies sound stupid as fuck

Shit-TV

I find the sets and decorations beautiful. Their invocation of the Christmas aesthetic makes them worthwhile to me.

There’s a side of Holly Heights that’s ready for its closeup: the tittie bars, the massage parlors, the public park’s men’s room traffic, the nervous sheep just beyond town, the obesity, the homeless camps

R59, I always find the sets and decorations cold and sterile. All the houses look like they've been "set," which of course, they have, but I would assume they're going for cozy and not sterile.

I don’t watch that shit

[quote]They're great escapism.

Which is something that ultraliberals don't understand.

They're doom & gloom about everything but love to wallow in their misery, pessimism, and 'victimhood.'

R63 Maga too

I love the idea of cozy Christmas movies. But the current standard of acting and writing is SO BAD. Much worse than telemovies were in the 80s and 90s. I usually just end up rewatching something like “Christmas in Connecticut” (1945) for the fiftieth time.

I love them and I believe they should be used to reset modern American societal sensibilities.

Do these Hallmark movies feature naked people? Is there a Mark in them? Is he naked in the Hall? Thanks.

[quote]My Dad's evening caregiver is OBSESSED with them and will turn Dad's TV to those GAC/Hallmark/Lifetime channels and watch one after another. I wanna tell her THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!!

I think that's the appeal to the people who love them.

I can't deal with the ones that feature "royalty"

I watch “November Christmas” every year. It’s got John Corbett, Sarah Paulson, Karen Allen and Sam Elliott! It’s on the YouTube.

I like the one with Christine Baranski as an out of work cruise line dancer visiting her disapproving daughter during the holidays. They don’t program it anymore and I’ve forgotten the title.

This one r71?

Yes, r72! Is it a favorite of yours or are you just super helpful or both!

Never seen it, r73, but I'm intrigued!

It's on YouTube.

Love 'em

They're like visual Muzak. I miss Muzak, too.

I agree with R53. They are completely inoffensive, unchallenging, idealized depictions of a childishly simple world were everything is easy. They are light, uplifting entertainment for wintry, dark days when you might be feeling a bit down and well, nothing more - which is exactly where their charm lies.

I also enjoy the fact that they don't pretend to be anything other than sugary pap: you watch a couple of them during the Christmas season, are distracted for an hour and then move onto more important things in your life, until next year when it's cold and dark outside and you don't feel like paying attention to anyone else at home.

Almost all of it is lightweight disposable nonsense geared to women as fairy tale stories. The last one I saw was about 2 years ago because it had Aaron Tveit called One Royal Holiday, with a Christmas plot about a prince gets stranded in a small wintry village and ends up finding love. Happily ever after.

Candace Cameron Bure has migrated to GAF

I watched about 10 mins of one the other evening on one of the freak channels (not cable). Generic good-looking man, home from The Big City for some family reason, meets generic good-looking woman; they start off on the wrong foot but end up together. Probably.

It was excruciatingly bad and her vocal fry was unbearable.

It's such fuzzy resolution.

I no watch. Beside, who geeve a foock about Kreestmas?

R78 Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel

Sanitized horseshit!

I will continue to hate GAF for the rest of my life.

Visual artificial sweetener sludge

I don't watch them but and I get annoyed because a lot of the old people rerun channels I watch like ion and antenna and cozy will sometimes show them instead of the regular shows I'm used to watching. So like I'll be sitting down and planning to watch a certain rerun a Frasier designing women or law and Order sexy times and this crap comes on.

Now start TV which is like the women LED television show channel is starting to show them on Saturday nights which is fine cuz I don't watch anything on that channel at night just early in the morning when I watch beauty and the beast Dr Quinn Touched by an Angel any day now and two episodes of murder She wrote. Although this Saturday one of the movies is the Dr Quinn Christmas movie but I've never seen those movies and I've heard that they don't really keep continuity with the TV show so I might not bother also I didn't really care for the show after Katie was born because first of all I thought that name was stupid for the baby and also it just got too Harley Quinn romance with too many heaving bosoms in and hushed whispered conversations.

Anyway what really prompted me to comment here is that one of the movies they keep advertising for this Saturday is a family matters Christmas. And the first time I saw that commercial I thought to myself how odd but I am intrigued that they would have done and made this however I discovered that it's only the mom and daughter from family matters playing completely different characters and has nothing to do with the television show so what the f***.

Do you like shit and piss? If you do, you’ll love this shit.

I like that they exist because they give Terry Polo something to do and hopefully keeps her square face away from anything I might want to watch.

I think it’s in bad taste to always dress Lori in stripes

I enjoyed this meta one.

I saw Christmas Unforgotten today. The main male character was a fashion designer played by Brett Donohue. He was signposted as gay, mostly because of of Donohue’s performance, that I was surprised when he tried to kiss the leading lady (a princess with amnesia).

She comes back from the big city where she’s an astrophysicist and cute meets Wes Bumpkin who drives a pickup 🛻 …

The Christmas of Yes features subplot a gay brother and his cute husband adopting a baby girl.

yeah, i die laughing watching stuff like that.

Wes Bumpkin doesn’t really have all his marbles and sometimes he has to be cleaned up after he goes, but he has things you big city 🌆 people have long ago forgotten about.

Is there a list of the hot men who appear in them? Some of them are quite wank-worthy