I’m the Sabra Hummus on the table still in the original container.
Let's be a Zillenial Friendsgiving
by Anonymous | reply 28 | November 20, 2023 7:39 PM |
I’m the sparse food options and lackluster table decor, due to laziness, tackiness, and cheapness. We opened a bag of chips and threw them on the table next to some store-bought hummus and a single mini pumpkin, which serves as the evening’s solitary decoration. You’ll be lucky if we dump those chips in a serving bowl, which we probably don’t have anyway.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | November 19, 2023 12:57 AM |
I'm the UberEats driver, pissed at my shitty tip.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | November 19, 2023 1:23 AM |
I'm the box of Stove Top Stuffing, brought as a joke. The directions look haaaaaaaaard
by Anonymous | reply 3 | November 19, 2023 1:54 AM |
My pussy stinks.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | November 19, 2023 1:58 AM |
I'm the cuddle puddle in the absent roommate's bed at the end of the night after everyone has Venmo'd Dylan for their Molly.
...and the inevitable septum ring/fishnet stocking mishap that eventually ends the fun.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | November 19, 2023 1:59 AM |
I’m the “ironic” Gobbler hoagies that were delivered by r2 in Pittsburgh. From Primanti’s. Jed ordered his with the fries on the side.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | November 19, 2023 2:14 AM |
I'm the pro hamas activist boycotting my parents for siding with those genocidal zionists. I also refuse to acknowledge Thanksgiving as it's an International Day of Mourning. I also have blue hair and weight 400 lbs but I deserve a hot boyfriend.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | November 19, 2023 3:07 AM |
I’m the IKEA dining table.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | November 19, 2023 5:36 AM |
I’m the obesity.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | November 19, 2023 5:45 AM |
I'm the dirty genitals. I haven't been scrubbed since Halloween.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | November 19, 2023 5:48 AM |
I’m the neurodivergence.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | November 19, 2023 5:56 AM |
I’m the tedious negotiation of consent for the mildest social interactions.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | November 19, 2023 6:30 AM |
I’m the vocal fry and upspeaking
by Anonymous | reply 13 | November 19, 2023 4:44 PM |
I'm also the vocal fry ... so much vocal fry
by Anonymous | reply 14 | November 19, 2023 5:00 PM |
We don't celebrate this genocidal "holiday."
We will be out protesting genocidal zionists who are the same as genocidal American settlers in their genocide.
Osama bin Laden had a point, you know.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | November 19, 2023 5:04 PM |
I'm the TikTok trend of dumping all the food onto a table covered with a plastic sheet and letting you all have at it like a bunch of fucking savages.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | November 19, 2023 5:50 PM |
R16 is that a thing? Gross.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | November 19, 2023 5:58 PM |
How grateful I am, r17, that I don't tik-tok.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | November 19, 2023 11:35 PM |
I’m the small bag of kale chips, ranch flavor.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | November 19, 2023 11:38 PM |
I’m the post-gender sexlessness and morbid obesity.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | November 19, 2023 11:43 PM |
I’m the incessant chatter pendulum swing between inflammatory half-ass political theories and infantile discussions about Disney remakes and Britney Jean Spears.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | November 20, 2023 12:24 AM |
I'm the consensus that Timothée Chalamet is a cinnamon roll and must be protected at all costs.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | November 20, 2023 5:20 AM |
I'm the unanimous lack of being registered to vote.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | November 20, 2023 5:38 AM |
I'm the egalitarian need for a group consensus that never materializes -- which makes every decision we make, even more slow and bureaucratic.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | November 20, 2023 5:51 AM |
I’m the performative keyboard activism.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | November 20, 2023 5:55 AM |
I'm an expert on Israel-Palestine.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | November 20, 2023 5:58 AM |
I’m the DL’s jealousy of young people
by Anonymous | reply 27 | November 20, 2023 6:18 AM |
Why would the average DLer be jealous of uptight virgins who lack social skills and can't even put themselves together in public?
That makes no sense!
by Anonymous | reply 28 | November 20, 2023 7:39 PM |