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Teacher near tears due to defiant students

- 5 year old kids telling her to shut up and refusing to follow simple instructions - Lax parents defending their kids behavior - Young kids listening to vulgar rap music like "Pound Town"

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by Anonymousreply 91November 21, 2023 8:07 PM

Wonder what the problem is??? ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏿

by Anonymousreply 1November 18, 2023 6:07 PM

Your link doesn't work, op.

This is the correct link.

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by Anonymousreply 2November 18, 2023 6:07 PM

This is why I quit teaching after three years. The abuse you put up with isn't just from some of the messed up students. You put up with abuse from parents, admin and even other teachers. The pay isn't worth the mental health problems. Our education system is completely fucked.

by Anonymousreply 3November 18, 2023 6:10 PM

Part 2 of the video...she's says the kids are twerking to vulgar rap music at age 5

She also says the kids are hitting each other and other kids

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by Anonymousreply 4November 18, 2023 6:10 PM

I spent 50k and 4 years to get my teaching degree. I thought I could change the world, I was such an idealist. University does not prepare you for the realities of the classroom. We were taught so much social justice bullshit, none of it proved relevant. There is nothing you can do when a kid acts up. If you send them to the principal, the admin automatically assumes your classroom management isn't strong enough. Most parents don't want to believe their kid is an asshole. So what do we do? Keep them in the classroom where they cause disturbances making it even more difficult for students to learn.

by Anonymousreply 5November 18, 2023 6:15 PM

Vulgar rap music has done severe damage to the black community. But that's their problem.

by Anonymousreply 6November 18, 2023 6:20 PM

She's 22 and doesn't use fourth grade grammar herself. ('You guyses children'). Not the brightest bulb in the box, but fine for pre-k, where they start correcting all that. Those nails are bacteria traps, btw. Not fit for the classroom.

by Anonymousreply 7November 18, 2023 6:21 PM

The biggest problem in society is straight people and their massive egos now, they’re so unjustifiably entitled.

by Anonymousreply 8November 18, 2023 6:22 PM

I guess made to stand in a corner is over.

by Anonymousreply 9November 18, 2023 6:29 PM

Maybe if that gal spent less time on applying filters to her face on TikTok, she'd be a better teacher.

by Anonymousreply 10November 18, 2023 6:30 PM

Oh give her a break, she's a dance teacher. That's her area of study.

She should tell the parents that the kids are expected to behave or they'll be made to sit out the class on the side. She has to get the dance school owner to lay down the law if the parents won't listen to her. Fuck that. She doesn't get paid enough to deal with this crap.

by Anonymousreply 11November 18, 2023 6:48 PM

My best friend switched careers mid 30s to become a teacher - his dream job. While he loves aspects of it, he can't believe how horrible parents are. NOT the kids. (They can certainly be horrible! But he expected that.)

Parents do not have teachers' back and that's his biggest issue. They treat him like utter garbage is shocking ways. They threaten him. Call him names. It's ridiculous.

He's thinking about quitting after about 8 years and going back to his old profession.

by Anonymousreply 12November 18, 2023 6:50 PM

My partner became a high school math teacher. He lasted two years. He said as a teacher he had no Allies. The admin students and parents all piled in on him. Teachers are used like tools now. Seems like she’s being used as a babysitting tool.

by Anonymousreply 13November 18, 2023 7:03 PM

I don’t believe she is a teacher. Not with those nails and grammar

by Anonymousreply 14November 18, 2023 7:50 PM


by Anonymousreply 15November 18, 2023 7:56 PM

Remember when Reagan said his nine terrifying words?

Republicans meant them for teachers and their unions.

Reagan started a self-fulfilling prophecy of classroom disrespect. And because there is no one national teachers union, he fucked up their retirement by budgeting their state retirement against their social security and THEN taxed social security as regular income. Fuck Republicans.

by Anonymousreply 16November 18, 2023 7:58 PM

So many of the problems in this country can be traced back to shit parenting, an uncomfortable truth in the land of Parenting is the Hardest Job in the World cliches.

by Anonymousreply 17November 18, 2023 8:08 PM

No, r16, Reagan has nothing to do with what the ballet teacher is discussing, which I experience every fucking day as an elementary school teacher.

It is far more about shifts in parenting and progressive policies in public education, both of which have made the job far more difficult than it used to be.

by Anonymousreply 18November 18, 2023 8:14 PM

God bless people who teach.

I can't wait until the teacher shortage causes the state governments to move to a four day school week instead of five. Companies will be forced to adopt the four day work week because their workers will have no one to watch their little bastards.

by Anonymousreply 19November 18, 2023 8:24 PM

I have students who want to apply to universities they have no business applying to; grades and extracurriculars aren’t there. I suggest there are better choices that fit their academic level and social needs.

Yet the parents blame me for when these kids are not admitted to those schools. One parent demanded I call one of the admissions offices and press them to reconsider their decision. I didn’t; it’s not ethical for me to do it. I am not their kids’ agent.

This is my last year in this position. Students’ and parents’ unreal expectations stress me, and I’m tired of it.

by Anonymousreply 20November 18, 2023 8:30 PM

[quote]Reagan has nothing to do with what the ballet teacher is discussing,

The disrespect of public employees is manifest.

by Anonymousreply 21November 18, 2023 8:34 PM

She’s a teacher in a private ballet school.

by Anonymousreply 22November 18, 2023 8:37 PM

Sorry for my prejudicial guess but I bet she teaches urban black kids.

by Anonymousreply 23November 18, 2023 8:39 PM

You mean rich kids dissing an arts teacher?

by Anonymousreply 24November 18, 2023 8:39 PM

And this is a problem in USA. How many other countries? At what SES strata? In 25 years I've taught a huge variety of kids in Switzerland from rich to poor, low IQ to brilliant, and many students from around the world. from 12 years old to university. Many don't take their studies seriously but it's very rare that they disrespect teachers or even their peers. I taught several years in France. Same basic civility and respect. This may not be the case in the shittier neighborhoods of France nowadays, however.

by Anonymousreply 25November 18, 2023 8:46 PM

She speaks the truth. Anyone in teaching understands the lack of respect from students & parents. It is systemic.

Retired from teaching last year and feel so fortunate.

by Anonymousreply 26November 18, 2023 8:47 PM

She’s very pretty. Nails are a bit much.

by Anonymousreply 27November 18, 2023 8:48 PM

Let's make generalizations about kids based on what one person said! Very smart!

by Anonymousreply 28November 18, 2023 8:50 PM

R25 ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽 wonder what brought the disrespect and ignorance to those shittier neighborhoods?

by Anonymousreply 29November 18, 2023 8:51 PM

🙋🏻‍♂️ Is it them again?

Yes, it’s always them… 🚶🏻

by Anonymousreply 30November 18, 2023 8:52 PM

R28 if you read the thread, you can see there's a ton of anecdotal evidence that reinforces what she's saying.

I don't think everyone is making it up for shits and giggles.

by Anonymousreply 31November 18, 2023 8:58 PM

R20, what job do you have this year?

by Anonymousreply 32November 18, 2023 9:04 PM

Kids suck, but her of use of "agendas" and "secular" give pause.

by Anonymousreply 33November 18, 2023 9:13 PM


by Anonymousreply 34November 18, 2023 9:15 PM

I will offer a counterpoint. There are a lot of terrible teachers out there. Many are verbally abusive and use humiliation as a classroom control technique. Admin typically defends them blindly to the point of outright lying to parents. The teachers are untouchable because of their unions, and they know it.

My kid has a learning disability. Her teacher mocked her repeatedly. We requested a meeting with the school. Less than 10 seconds into my trying to explain the problem, teacher explodes and yells “I’m not going to sit here for this!”

Principal allowed this. Each time I tried to speak, principal told me this type of meeting was not an appropriate place to discuss these issues. They knew ahead of time the subject to be discussed.

Just an absolute shit show full of bullying, incompetent liars.

by Anonymousreply 35November 18, 2023 9:23 PM

It's nothing new, they learn it at home.

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by Anonymousreply 36November 18, 2023 9:27 PM

[quote]University does not prepare you for the realities of the classroom.

University does not prepare you for the realities of anything. Not one single fucking thing.

by Anonymousreply 37November 18, 2023 9:27 PM

I lovvvve teaching and training, but I wouldn't step foot in a modern-day classroom from Pre-K to doctoral if you gave me a million dollars.

My Dad's evening caregiver works full time at a local charter school. OMFG the DAILY foolishness that goes on there gives me hives. About a month ago she came in the door with a doozy:

A new boy enrolled (middle of the first semester, so wtf was up in his home life nobody knows) in the 2nd grade. Two weeks into his arrival he started targeting a meek classmate. When he did that bullying in the lunch line, a custodian told him to knock it off. The kid cursed him out. Custodian grabbed boy and marched him to the office. Vice-principal tried correcting the kid; kid cursed him out, too. The school called 911 on him. The cops come, the boy cursed them out and tried fighting them in the parking lot. They put him in the squad car, and he kicked a window out.

10 minutes later, cops bring the boy back to the school; apparently he rough-talked and threatened them like a grown-ass thug, and they wanted no part of him.

And that was that.



by Anonymousreply 38November 18, 2023 9:35 PM

My kid is in her ninth year at the same school, a rare K-8 school in SoCal. The school has been awarded many accolades (national blue ribbon, CA school of distinction, etc.). I learned when she was in Kindergarten that teachers and administrators are there for their six-digit base salaries and nothing else. They're doing their time and want the kids to do their time, too. During the pandemic in March 2020, we did not hear from the teacher for FIVE WEEKS. Literally nothing. The rest of that year was one hour, twice a week on zoom. No homework, no instruction, no testing. A year of lost instruction. Then another year online, but with some structure and meeting every day. An improvement to be sure, but the teachers that year did not respond to emails. Ever.

I used to respect the hell out of teachers, especially middle and high school teachers, for their relatively low pay and the fact that they had to educate ungrateful people's kids. My view has shifted dramatically, unfortunately.

Next year is high school. I hope it is better.

by Anonymousreply 39November 18, 2023 9:38 PM

In my 3 years of teaching, I witnessed:

- Child abuse reports where nothing happened - A grade 6 student called me a fucking bitch - Forced to supervise lunch daily at one school, unpaid - Forced to participate in supervising atleast 2 extracurricular activities each year, unpaid - Student brought a knife to class and threatened me - Student's Mom threatened me in front of the principal - Lack of support in every classroom - Sexual harassment - Teachers with drug and alcohol problems

Don't become a teacher, kids.

by Anonymousreply 40November 18, 2023 10:05 PM

Schools in bad neighborhoods tend to have nightmarish students.

Schools in good or “elite” school districts tend to have nightmarish, entitled teachers and administrators. If standardized test scores are good, you can bet it is attributable to parental education level and involvement. But the teachers and admin will take full credit for high scores. Not only will they take credit, they will assume high school scores/ranking insulate them from all criticism.

Years ago, I lived next door to a young woman who taught Spanish at Harvard-Westlake (a private school.) Oh my god, she was the snootiest, most entitled bitch on the planet. I was so curious what they could possibly be paying her to support such a superiority complex.

by Anonymousreply 41November 18, 2023 10:05 PM

R39 In my experience, high-school is worse. There are even less supports available, nobody seems to give a shit about struggling students.

by Anonymousreply 42November 18, 2023 10:07 PM

[quote]The teachers are untouchable because of their unions, and they know it.

It always comes back to the unions.

Republicans want Americans poor, sick and stupid.

This thread proves the latter.

by Anonymousreply 43November 18, 2023 11:47 PM

Who is she teaching with these ghetto nails?

Honey teaching is not for everyone

by Anonymousreply 44November 19, 2023 12:21 AM

[quote] I have students who want to apply to universities they have no business applying to; grades and extracurriculars aren’t there. I suggest there are better choices that fit their academic level and social needs.

It’s laughable to me that as a teacher you think you have any business doing anything that limits the scope of your students’ dreams.

I’m gonna tell you a little story.

I had an awful teacher like you in high school. An biology teacher named Mrs. Mayes. I took her class freshman year.

By late freshman year, when most of these events all took place, I had a C average. I admittedly didn’t take school seriously. Fatefully, though, earlier in the quarter, we had gone on a field trip to Charlottesville. Obviously, a tour of the University of Virginia was one of the highlights. And I decided instantly, practically overnight, that I wanted to go to UVA.

UVA is and was a very difficult school to get into, even for in-state students, which I was. And knew that my grades up to that point were going to be a problem. But I talked to a guidance counselor about it — her name was Mrs. Coles, and, thank God she was nothing like Mrs. Mayes — and she explained to me exactly what I need to do in order to have a shot at getting in. She didn’t scoff at my dreams. She helped to enable them.

She also knew that my parents hadn’t gone to college and probably wouldn’t understand my objectives, so she took the time to write a letter home to them, explaining that my state evaluation exams all put me in a bracket where I should be taking honors classes — even though at the time I was in all average classes. She recommended that they elevate me to honors English and honors Government on the spot, since my standardized test scores qualified me to be in those classes, regardless of my grade history. My parents signed those papers, and I got onto the honors track for English and social studies starting my sophomore year.

One day back during freshman year, while I was working through all of this with my guidance counselor, Mrs. Mayes overheard me in the back of the class talking to some of my classmates about my goals. This woman got on her broomstick and flew to the back of the class SPECIFICALLY to tell me (in front of all of my peers) that I would NEVER get into UVA.

I was already having doubts at that time, and I almost listened to her. In fact, her words did plague me throughout the admissions process, starting about two and a half years later, while I waited for a decision from UVA. But I decided to channel her negativity into turning my academic life around. By junior year, I was not only taking honors classes, but also several AP classes. I worked my ass off to do well on the SAT and scored a 1380. I made NHS my junior year (though Mrs. Coles had to fight for me). I became active in the high school drama club.

By early senior year, when the application process started, I still barely had a B+ average. Not exactly promising for a candidate at UVA. But when you compared the last three years of high school (where my GPA was around 3.7 on a 4-point scale) to my freshman year (when it was just a hair above 2.2), the turnaround was obvious.

I ended up getting into every school I applied to, including UVA, where I graduated in 1997.

My point with all of this is, if you are a goddamn teacher and you don’t think your students can get into a particular school, you should be explaining to them what they need to do in order to be able to get into that school. Even if it means community college for a few years. Who the fuck do you think you are, questioning whether they have “any business“ applying to a particular school, or aiming for a particular school? That is not your place as an educator. Your place is to enable dreams, not make kids feel like shit about themselves.

And I have to tell you, it felt really good waiving that offer of admission from UVA in Mrs. Mayes face my senior year.

You’re a Mrs. Mayes. And frankly, you have no business teaching with your attitude.

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by Anonymousreply 45November 19, 2023 12:59 AM

R45 above is meant for R20, obviously.

by Anonymousreply 46November 19, 2023 1:05 AM

R6 is right, of course, but it’s not something we’re allowed to say. The Black community would be in a much better place if rap and hip hop culture hadn’t dominated.

by Anonymousreply 47November 19, 2023 1:12 AM

What makes you think you’re not allowed to say that, R47? Plenty of people have said that over the years, starting with Tipper Gore and running straight on through.

It’s only when ideas like that are rooted in racist intentions that it becomes a problem.

Are you a racist? If you are not, then your opinion is not an issue.

by Anonymousreply 48November 19, 2023 1:16 AM

I loved your story, R45. Yours was very much similar to my experience with public school as well. It took one excellent teacher to turn my school career around and help me believe in myself. The school system is rotten with subpar and jaded teachers that have no business teaching...like the ones chiming in on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 49November 19, 2023 1:46 AM

Justin, R45, do you only have a B.A? What was your major and what do you do now?

by Anonymousreply 50November 19, 2023 2:17 AM

R49 You sound quite ignorant of the realities teachers face. You have no idea what teachers deal with, daily, despite being in the profession with good intentions.

If you think "jaded teachers" are the reason the education system is failing students, you're mistaken.

There are many reasons why children struggle. Most every teacher will tell you that it's due to lack of support. Classrooms are overcrowded, there may be one teacher to 30 students. There may be 10 students in one classroom with various challenges, such as ADHD, FASD, Dyslexia, etc.

A classroom teacher is very lucky if they have one teaching assistant. Administrators won't hire more help because of "the budget". Teachers are poorly compensated given the education, work ethic and hours required for the job.

Now factor into that all the other stuff that goes on. Social issues, bullying, food insecurity, etc.

by Anonymousreply 51November 19, 2023 2:30 AM

What the hell has happened to parenting?

One day, in a daring mood, I acted up and sassed my 3rd (or was it 4th?) grade teacher.

I quaked in fear when the principal said my parents were called.

My Mother and I met with Mrs. Grubach away from the other kids. I hung my head as she told my mom how I misbehaved.

Mom listened. And then, in her most authoritative, I-mean-business voice, she told me, "You are not to misbehave again. You are to obey all directions from Mrs. Grubach."

Then, to my teacher, in front of me, and well within in my hearing, she told her "If this child misbehaves, you have my authority and permission to correct her. Let me know about it and it also will be dealt with at home."

Well, whaddya know? My, what powerful words.

My Mother, in front of me, reinforced the authority of the teacher, instead of undermining it. I was a model student in that class and never misbehaved or sassed again.

And for you bigots here on this thread, my parents aren't White and neither am I.

They just knew what the hell they were doing when it came to parenting. They knew the job of teaching good, respectful behavior was theirs.

That's the problem with parenting nowadays.

Instilling discipline, couth, respect for others is outsourced. Bullshit.

If you don't know that children should be taught to act within respectful, socially positive boundaries, then Don't. Have. Them.

by Anonymousreply 52November 19, 2023 3:28 AM

R45 and R49 exhibit biased thinking based on their past experiences. It can be both true that schools can have jaded and subpar teachers and also decent teachers who have valid observations. It is absolutely true that some children are not college material. I have asked to review college entrance essays by acquaintances. Many of these compositions fall below third grade reading levels. Some of these near-adults have no grasp of simple concepts such as spelling and paragraphs. I don't know what is more appalling, their essays or that their parents submitted them to me in that condition. These are college-educated parents, mind you. Some with advanced degrees. You can blame teachers all you want, but many parents are failing their kids. It's now been about twenty years or so of parents letting devices raise their kids. Is anyone really surprised at the results?

by Anonymousreply 53November 19, 2023 3:35 AM

[quote]it felt really good waiving that offer of admission from UVA

Oh, dear. I believe you meant to write "waving"...?

Perhaps UVA isn't as good of a school as you think it is, R45. That would be why you got in.

by Anonymousreply 54November 19, 2023 3:53 AM

[quote] University does not prepare you for the realities of the classroom

This is pretty much exactly how my best friend described it. She left teaching and she was just so angry over teh fact that she felt college sold teaching as something it's not. It's almost like they brainwash you into thinking you will have more power than you actually do.

by Anonymousreply 55November 19, 2023 3:56 AM

This is a black problem and everybody knows it.

by Anonymousreply 56November 19, 2023 4:03 AM

everyonoe should go to university is stupid dated boomer thinking

by Anonymousreply 57November 19, 2023 4:07 AM

R57 i can spell. there is cum in my keyboard

by Anonymousreply 58November 19, 2023 4:07 AM

Pretty sure she's talking about a specific demographic.

by Anonymousreply 59November 19, 2023 4:18 AM

This will end in even more tears.

by Anonymousreply 60November 19, 2023 4:23 AM

Sheesh. Horatio Alger above making it all about his own dull, petit bourgeois bootstrapping.

by Anonymousreply 61November 19, 2023 4:46 AM

Whatever, r61.

by Anonymousreply 62November 19, 2023 4:50 AM

So to our two parents who claim teachers are to blame (R35, R39) how perfect are your two adorbs precious angels???

Beyond, right?

by Anonymousreply 63November 19, 2023 4:57 AM

“To blame” for what, r63?

No one has “blamed” teachers for anything. I’ve said the teachers are entitled.

Lazy, flabby thinking on your part.

by Anonymousreply 64November 19, 2023 5:07 AM

Hip hop music is mainly purchased by white people and the music industry is controlled by white people. There are many artists with positive lyrics but they barely get airplay and are not promoted. There is actually a backlash with contemporary rap music it barely broke the billboard charts this year - even drake flopped. I hope the music gets back to its roots with more diverse talent and positivity. I

by Anonymousreply 65November 19, 2023 5:56 AM

Hmmm. Perhaps flabby thinking on my part. Perhaps not.

I guess I've known so many teachers over the years. Scores, I'd say. Not one I'd call entitled. Imperfect? Sure. But not entitled. It's the wrong sort of job for that personality trait. But I'm sure exceptions abound.

I've known just as many children. Specifically, children with the type of parent who'd rather call that child's teacher "entitled" instead of dealing with an unruly kid head on. But I'm sure exceptions abound.

All this to say, my gut tells me most of the issues in classrooms are the parents' fault. Not the teacher's fault. Not enough disciple at home and undercutting teachers' attempt to control their precious little one at school.

But, of course, I could be wrong.

by Anonymousreply 66November 19, 2023 5:58 AM

Well, r66, I am the parent of the disabled child who was mocked by her teacher. Repeatedly.

You must be a special sort of scumbag to cunt about that.

But of course you are a miserable piece of shit. That’s not up for debate. Luckily, I’ve found that has a way of catching up to people.

by Anonymousreply 67November 19, 2023 6:13 AM

Just looked up the lyrics to "Pound Town". Really concerning that a 5 year old would be exposed to that. Makes me wonder what kind of a neighbourhood she is working in.

by Anonymousreply 68November 19, 2023 6:18 AM

[quote] Parents do not have teachers' back and that's his biggest issue

Why would they? You sound like a log cabin bootlicker. AKA slow.

Sorry you couldn’t cut it as a teacher. (Sure, it was your “best friend”… sure.)

by Anonymousreply 69November 19, 2023 6:25 AM

[quote]if you read the thread, you can see there's a ton of anecdotal evidence that reinforces what she's saying.

By definition, “anecdotal evidence “ is (1) an oxymoron and (2) doesn’t “reinforce” shit.

Stick to teaching preschool, sweetie.

by Anonymousreply 70November 19, 2023 6:30 AM

[quote]Perhaps UVA isn't as good of a school as you think it is, [R45]. That would be why you got in.

Oh, you're right. Everybody knows UVA is terrible school. I've been fooling myself all this time, what a fool I've been!

*rolls eyes*


by Anonymousreply 71November 19, 2023 7:22 AM

[quote]Justin, [R45], do you only have a B.A? What was your major and what do you do now?

B.A. in Economics and History.

I'm an engineering director at a large enterprise software company. No, I won't tell you which one, because you can use that to figure out who I am. And yes, I work for a tech firm as an engineering director even though I have a liberal arts degree.

by Anonymousreply 72November 19, 2023 7:28 AM

[quote][R45] and [R49] exhibit biased thinking based on their past experiences. It can be both true that schools can have jaded and subpar teachers and also decent teachers who have valid observations. It is absolutely true that some children are not college material.

I never said any of that wasn't true. What I said was that it isn't up to some teacher to tell a kid who is planning to go to college that that kid can't get into the school that he or she wants to go to.

by Anonymousreply 73November 19, 2023 7:30 AM

We had vicious teachers and Principals who practiced corporal punishment. We lived in fear of chewing gum, sassing back and engaging in general naughtiness.

by Anonymousreply 74November 19, 2023 7:45 AM

For years this has been going on. Extreme leftists boards of educations and administrations. Fear of not getting enough money for too many failing students. Unless you are guaranteed a job in a top school with caring sane parents you are an idiot to become a teacher. Your hands are tied. You will pass failing students, cursed at and threatened with physical violence and there is not a thing you can do about it. And whenever I pass a car blasting obscene rap music the driver is always black.

by Anonymousreply 75November 19, 2023 7:45 AM

[quote]it isn't up to some teacher to tell a kid who is planning to go to college that that kid can't get into the school that he or she wants to go to.

Just stick a gold star on his forehead and consider the problem dealt with.

by Anonymousreply 76November 19, 2023 10:33 AM

Most teachers here in Louisiana are bat shit rejects, which fits with the bat shit students. You must be a raging lunatic to teach in public schools. They are low paid babysitters.

by Anonymousreply 77November 19, 2023 2:53 PM

I was a high school English teacher and intermittently a Guidance Counselor for a total of 30 years. Let me tell you all who was the least supportive of teachers:

Not the students. Not the parents. Administrators.

Administrators whose raises depended 100% on their coming up with new ways of teaching that staff had to implement, these ways stemming from time-wasting "In-Service Days" of "experts."

I recall some of these teacher sessions being about: 2-Hemisphere Left Brain/Right Brain; 4 Quadrants of Learning; 7 Methods of Highly Effective People (Covey); Gardner's 8 Intelligences; 16 Myers-Briggs Personalities; and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

Classroom discipline was left for us to figure out on our own.

by Anonymousreply 78November 19, 2023 3:29 PM

R45, Let me respond. I have been a guidance counselor for thirty years total. I know what particular colleges expect in their applicants. If a student who averages Cs and Ds comes in and says they are going to apply to Harvard, when I know that 5% of the best and brightest students in the country are denied admission, I want to steer them to colleges that more closely fit their academic and social progress.

If I met a student like you who worked hard to achieve better grades in the progression through high school, I would be all in to help you wherever you wished to apply. You have told me through your work you are willing to work even harder.

The problem I deal with is the expectation of some parents that their students with Cs and Ds deserve to go to Harvard or Yale or Stanford or Duke. These kids may be academically overwhelmed when they get there, as indicated by their high school grades. These universities will teach at a higher level. If they achieve Cs and Ds in their high school classes, and the universities will weigh them against other applicants from that high school who are receiving As and Bs, they are at a disadvantage. Sure, there are cases when the student's whole story has something special attached, admissions offices respond to those. I cannot in good faith suggest a student with mid-range grades would get into a Harvard, Yale, Stanford or Duke. Yet, their parents insist I do not know what I am talking about.

In my 20 year guidance career in a middle class suburban high school, two of our students were admitted to Yale, three were admitted to Harvard, two were admitted to Duke, and one was admitted to Stanford. They have much more success applying to the Universities of Michigan, Virginia, North Carolina, and Lehigh, Furman, the University of Miami, Albion, Dickinson, etc. Social fit is just as important as academic fit. I would not recommend a conservative student apply to Oberlin or a liberal student to apply to Hillsdale. I will never tell a student there is no way they are never going to get into any university, but I need to be honest about their expectations. Dreams, yes, Expectations, no.

One year I worked with a student who applied to Princeton, Dartmouth, Brown, MIT, Penn, Berkeley, Rice and Emory. He was a B student, but I had hoped Rice and Emory would at least give him more hope. His parents regected the idea he apply anywhere else, including our highly respected public flagship university. I thought he stood an excellent chance of being admitted there. He was not admitted to any of the Universities he applied to.

If a high school student creates a robot-building series of summer classes for middle school students for four successive years, and some of them win championships; or if they want to volunteer at a women's shelter and are told they are too young to volunteer, then they personally raise $15,OOO from fundraising events to buy new beds, furniture and TVs for the shelter; or if they write a research paper on a subject they are fascinated that is published by a national journal, any student would have better chances of being offered admission to the most selective schools.

I assume you are a Virginian. Among state-funded universities, James Madison, George Mason, Christopher Newport (newly-classified as the state's public liberal arts college), VCU, Mary Washington (the state's public honors college) and Virginia Tech are better bets for a B-C student.

Congratulations on your degree from UVA.

by Anonymousreply 79November 20, 2023 2:51 AM

err.... rejected.

by Anonymousreply 80November 20, 2023 2:54 AM

double err... I meant 95%. My dementia is kicking in again. It's the major reason I am retiring.

by Anonymousreply 81November 20, 2023 3:17 AM

My cousin's daughter got her primary education teaching certificate and did additional training for children with special needs. She lasted two years. She received no support from administration, the principal, other teachers, and said the parents were horrible. She's currently working in a convenience store and living with her mother, until she can pay off her student loans.

by Anonymousreply 82November 20, 2023 3:30 AM

“This teacher is a pussy ass bitch!”

by Anonymousreply 83November 20, 2023 3:46 AM

R57, Maybe so, and in this respect Corporate America has won.

by Anonymousreply 84November 20, 2023 9:50 AM

That ballet class sounds like, what I imagine, a gathering of DL members would be like.

by Anonymousreply 85November 20, 2023 10:47 AM

The ballet teacher’s nails are fabulous!

by Anonymousreply 86November 20, 2023 11:49 AM

R79, I appreciate your thoughtful response. Something about your words upthread just hit me wrong and brought back that whole episode with Mrs. Mayes. She really was an awful person, I haven't even told you the half of it. But I was harsh. I'm sorry.

by Anonymousreply 87November 21, 2023 2:10 AM

Perfect example of what she was talking about. At least his father took action.

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by Anonymousreply 88November 21, 2023 2:20 AM

Wow, R88. I went to a Catholic school a long time ago. Any kid saying the f-word in kindergarten was completely unimaginable. Some of the teachers were nuns. They would have fainted.

Why say to your teacher: "Ma'am, you're yelling a little too loud. Could you please talk a little quieter?" when you can say "Shut the f**k up".

by Anonymousreply 89November 21, 2023 5:08 AM

No bad feelings here, R87. You were triggered by a teacher who should have kept her mouth shut. Who was she to judge you? There are a couple of teachers at our school who enjoy deflating students' dreams. I once confronted one of them; he never spoke to me again. That was fine by me.

My biggest pleasure is when I identify a school the student hasn't looked at, and they visit and love the place, they get in and they are graduated. One set of parents calls me every year to tell me how their son was thriving at that school and now has a successful career. They thank me for bringing that school to their attention. That makes all the work worthwhile.

by Anonymousreply 90November 21, 2023 8:01 PM

Crying on video about a social problem is my favorite early 21st-century art form

by Anonymousreply 91November 21, 2023 8:07 PM
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